@@pauldavisjr.3284To give a more complete answer: You have a right to free speech, but the judge has a right to an orderly courtroom. Contempt of court will get you fined or thrown in jail very quickly, because rights aren't absolute. Free speech protects your right to wear that shirt in general, but in a courtroom the judge has almost absolute authority to remove anything they believe threatens the decorum or orderly proceeding of the trial.
@@maxastro the t-shirt said p*ssy the most expensive thing you eat. Dude was going through a divorce where he was going to lose at least half of all of his stuff. So was he wrong. I wasn't talking about was he correct in wearing it in court that answer is obvious.
@@pauldavisjr.3284 It seemed like you were asking whether he was wrong about having a First Amendment right to wear the shirt. Apologies if that wasn't what you were asking.
When I was 18 I was in an unfamiliar area, around dusk, didn’t see a stop sign and got into an accident. The officer who came about an hour later (dispatcher sent fire department but not police and officer happened upon the scene well after fire dept had left) told me he had to ticket me, even though he really didn’t want to, so he advised me to mitigate the ticket, so I did. Fast forward to my court date… I was sick with the flu and a fever, but you bet I showed up. While in the courtroom awaiting my turn, there was a lady there for a speeding ticket, and she explained (through an interpreter) that she was going down a hill, so her car was going faster. The judge’s response was “Lady, you would have had to be going perpendicular to hell!” Needless to say, the whole courtroom burst out laughing lol
It's said people have the right to remain silent. Pity few of them exercise that right. But then again, if they did that we wouldn't have these funny exchanges 😆
Just last week, when I was called in for Jury Duty: Judge, clearly trying to not sigh as he addresses the potential jurors: The charges are capital murder of multiple people, and the defendant has just today dismissed his counsel and chosen to represent himself, which is his right. Next day: Judge: The defendant has chosen to dismiss all of you because his name was mentioned yesterday and he believes you all went home and googled him and thus will be biased, so now we have to start over. Funny part is, on the way out myself and the other jurors were talking and most of us didn't even remember his name, and none of us had googled him, since we were specifically told not to. But yeah, glad I don't have to be on that hot mess of a trial.
You'd never see this level of informality in an English criminal court - the whole process is very formal. But it's a lot less in the administrative tribunals. I used to be a judge for a tribunal dealing with among other things housing benefit disputes. Local councils can assist tenants with rent costs provided they meet a means test and keep the council informed of any changes in their circumstances. In this case the council knew that something in the tenant's income had changed but needed confirmation of details. She didn't respond to their query so they stopped her payments. There is a fixed process councils must by law follow before they can do this. They can suspend payment while waiting for those details but must then pay the arrears when they have got the details. I could see nothing in the big fat bundle of papers to show due process. So I asked the council's representative about this. He looked at me as if I was mad and said, "Well yes, we know about the guidelines, but it isn't always practicable to follow them." I reminded him that they weren't guidelines, they were LAW, and ordered the council to pay her landlord what now amounted to several thousand pounds of arrears. Most satisfying morning's work ever.
"That's a Taylor ham, egg & cheese and a cup of coffee per day that you're paying her to raise your kids." Wow, didn't think you could say you're from Jersey without saying you're from Jersey so succinctly, but there that is.
Several years ago a man tried to break into my house while I was at home. He was quickly arrested. I went to court to watch the proceedings. The judge asked how he pleaded and he said, "Guilty. But I didn't do it." 😅😊 The judge gave his lawyers a few minutes to "advise him" and then asked again.
It amazes me how many people think it's remotely OK to be rude to a judge. Do we not teach people how to behave any longer? (But yeah most of these are pretty funny.)
I don't think rudeness is warranted until a judge has shown themselves to be corrupt in some way, at which point you ought to be rude to them on principle.
Other favorites "Why does everyone ask that?" "..check my schedule, it's pretty full of jail." "I'm vegan!" "That OK, they don't serve real meat in jail anyway." 😂😂🤣🤣😂😂
As a prior active duty Marine with 11 years of honorable service, I can confirm that the supplies, food, and tobacco that goes to military and prison are of the lowest quality. I've helped the PX and Chow Hall unload many boxes labeled "For Prison and Overseas Use Only." Those are the only two groups that can't complain because they've had their rights taken away: one by punishment, one by contract.
@@druidriley3163 Because that's the cheapest place to shop, and where the lowest quality stuff is is also where you have no other options. And most people don't know the issued gear or stuff you get on deployment is that bad, but you don't have any choices either.
@@iwasnthere1745 We have bases in town, and the families still prefer to shop at the commissary. I guess they're more concerned with prices and not quality of food.
5:12 that reminds me of an interview James Brown did after a police chase that resulted in a drug and weapons charge … a reporter asked him ‘were you high at the time’ and without missing a beat Brown replied ‘high off’a God’
God, I so wish I had chosen a different career in life and became a court reporter! It sounds like an absolute BLAST getting to hear everything without having to know the pesky law, lol! 😂😂
Haha, schooling for it is shorter and cheaper too. Though you do need to be capable of typing rather fast, recording things exactly as they are spoken. You could get a job as one still, they are a job that pays pretty well, depending on where you are.
This was nice to watch. I have seen several youtube videos that have words and not people and the poster (or a bot) reads the words. I usually mute the audio and read the words myself. Here however, there were words that I read while listening to pleasant music!
I actually LOLd and qouted these to my wife more than any other UA-cam video. The Santana style guitar music was a distraction though. Didn't know whether to read or listen. I don't multitask ;-)
I happily, was able to do both. Of course, I had some experience in the past, where I, on some days, had to listen to 5 different radios, tuned to 5 different radio frequencies for, 5 different conversations. So, this was easy!
I have ADHD and can't do the eating thing while doing other things that aren't watching videos or TV....but I can read and listen to random music, at least!
Best snippet of a conversation I once overheard as I was walking by two lawyers in Worcester: “Yeah, but when a guy goes to jail for 20 years he has a long time to think about how his lawyer screwed up.”
4:29 I like how the DA corrects the Defense attorney so that if the guy on trial gets prison time from this case he cant file a petition to get the verdict overturned due to bad representation or some such. I think something like that happened before where the defendant had such a bad attorney but the case went on and he got a sentence for so many years. He later had another attorney file a petition or something. Not entirely sure as when I read about it it was like 8 years ago.
But it was written on his shirt, not spoken aloud. So it doesn't waste anyone's time. I get why the judge would do this, though. The shirt is liable to bias the jury against him during the case. Now if he brought t-shirts for the prosecution to wear as well to balance it out, that would be an interesting argument.
Judge: I see here that you have estimated $$ dollars for the five hours you spent fixing the damages done by the accused on the appartment you rented him? Landlord: yes your honor. Judge: and your profession is a lawyer for this wellknown firm isnt it? Landlord: yes your honor. Judge: well that explains why you took five times the hourly rate as well as used twice the time doing something than someone who has this as a livelyhood would. As well as this very detailed explanation of what you did. It was like reading my grandsons homework when he tries to reach the minimum word essay set by his teacher and has very little to write.
I was at the court house waiting for my case to get called. I was in the restroom and one of the city attorneys was asking me if i was ready to take a deal. He didn't even know me but i said i have a lawyer sitting out there.
To be fair to some of these, they have a valid argument or at least the judge is quibbling over something mundane like "inappropriate" clothing. If a police dog attacks you, you're going to get desperate and try unconventional means to get him to let go. If the judge objects to your graphic tee, that's his problem. Also, the judge making a comment about how the guy with 7 kids should have used protection is showing his bias and should be done with a different judge.
@@thesilversurfer7136 How I'm dressed shouldn't affect whether I'm found guilty or not, nor how much the bail is set at. If I'm going to "impress" the court, I'd rather do it with the testimony I give, not whether I wore shorts or slacks.
@@benwagner5089If your clothing is actually distracting, though - as the shirt in question would likely be - the judge has every right to say "not in my court". And unfortunately, while I would love to flip a switch and turn off people's clothing-based prejudices, it doesn't work that way in the real world.
@@maxastroAnd yet, the best decision would be to give the child to the parent with the income to properly take care of them. When that happens, a lot of other things go in a better direction. Just _giving the child to the mom and making the dad pay regardless_ is almost *never* in the best interest of the child.
@@jarrod752 And if the dad is abusive? Or was never taught how to take care of a child? Look: Custody going to moms when it should go to dads is a real issue. Men get shafted here a lot. But "the child should always go to the parent with the bigger income" is just an incredibly narrow minded statement. My dad molested my sister. Should he have gotten custody of her when my mom divorced him, if his income was higher?
Courts getting offended over such things is part of why I have no respect for the legal institution. Pompous self-righteous control freaks deserve to be offended at every opportunity.
I'd bet $5 you're either a lawyer or a prospective one. More to the point, it's entertaining for the same reason a movie is entertaining: suspension of disbelief.
@@TheMinecraftACMan Nope, 48 year old cybersecurity architect. I'm never going to be a lawyer. The fun in these things is the idea that someone actually said them. True funny stories are far better than fictional stories.
@@tracyrreed I know a few people that, if you told me they said some of these things, I would respond "yup, sounds about right." Whether the authors of each post truly heard it in person or not, there are definitely people out there that would say these things in a courtroom with no hesitation. Most of them share a common trait of not thinking before speaking.
You didn't find ANY of them funny? There were a couple I didn't find funny. But most of them were. I can't believe you are so humourless as to not find ANY of them funny,
“Right now I’m living with y’all” is incredible
Defendant to judge - "Don't I have First Amendment -" Counsel - "STOP TALKING!"
But was he wrong though?
@@pauldavisjr.3284 Yes.
@@pauldavisjr.3284To give a more complete answer: You have a right to free speech, but the judge has a right to an orderly courtroom. Contempt of court will get you fined or thrown in jail very quickly, because rights aren't absolute.
Free speech protects your right to wear that shirt in general, but in a courtroom the judge has almost absolute authority to remove anything they believe threatens the decorum or orderly proceeding of the trial.
@@maxastro the t-shirt said p*ssy the most expensive thing you eat. Dude was going through a divorce where he was going to lose at least half of all of his stuff. So was he wrong. I wasn't talking about was he correct in wearing it in court that answer is obvious.
@@pauldavisjr.3284 It seemed like you were asking whether he was wrong about having a First Amendment right to wear the shirt.
Apologies if that wasn't what you were asking.
The zoom court @3:23 …”if we are still zooming in October I will have thrown myself off a bridge…” 😂😂😂😂
Especially since they probably were still zooming in October!
Sounds like a great defense at appeals. The judge was obviously under mental stress and couldn't make a proper judgement of the case.
When I was 18 I was in an unfamiliar area, around dusk, didn’t see a stop sign and got into an accident. The officer who came about an hour later (dispatcher sent fire department but not police and officer happened upon the scene well after fire dept had left) told me he had to ticket me, even though he really didn’t want to, so he advised me to mitigate the ticket, so I did.
Fast forward to my court date… I was sick with the flu and a fever, but you bet I showed up. While in the courtroom awaiting my turn, there was a lady there for a speeding ticket, and she explained (through an interpreter) that she was going down a hill, so her car was going faster. The judge’s response was “Lady, you would have had to be going perpendicular to hell!” Needless to say, the whole courtroom burst out laughing lol
I'm glad some people have the patience to be lawyers, I could NEVER
It's said people have the right to remain silent. Pity few of them exercise that right. But then again, if they did that we wouldn't have these funny exchanges 😆
Just last week, when I was called in for Jury Duty:
Judge, clearly trying to not sigh as he addresses the potential jurors: The charges are capital murder of multiple people, and the defendant has just today dismissed his counsel and chosen to represent himself, which is his right.
Next day:
Judge: The defendant has chosen to dismiss all of you because his name was mentioned yesterday and he believes you all went home and googled him and thus will be biased, so now we have to start over.
Funny part is, on the way out myself and the other jurors were talking and most of us didn't even remember his name, and none of us had googled him, since we were specifically told not to.
But yeah, glad I don't have to be on that hot mess of a trial.
You got lucky!
What did he do the day after, attempt to dismiss the judge?
You'd never see this level of informality in an English criminal court - the whole process is very formal. But it's a lot less in the administrative tribunals. I used to be a judge for a tribunal dealing with among other things housing benefit disputes. Local councils can assist tenants with rent costs provided they meet a means test and keep the council informed of any changes in their circumstances.
In this case the council knew that something in the tenant's income had changed but needed confirmation of details. She didn't respond to their query so they stopped her payments.
There is a fixed process councils must by law follow before they can do this. They can suspend payment while waiting for those details but must then pay the arrears when they have got the details.
I could see nothing in the big fat bundle of papers to show due process. So I asked the council's representative about this.
He looked at me as if I was mad and said, "Well yes, we know about the guidelines, but it isn't always practicable to follow them."
I reminded him that they weren't guidelines, they were LAW, and ordered the council to pay her landlord what now amounted to several thousand pounds of arrears. Most satisfying morning's work ever.
Well done - thank you doing the right thing when faced with someone like that. The world needs more people like you.
Defendant to Judge: "You don't know me; who I am. Who are you to judge me?"
Judge: The judge
"That's a Taylor ham, egg & cheese and a cup of coffee per day that you're paying her to raise your kids."
Wow, didn't think you could say you're from Jersey without saying you're from Jersey so succinctly, but there that is.
I hope the baby left in the car was okay. That part isn't funny if you think about what might happen. The others were funny.
Several years ago a man tried to break into my house while I was at home. He was quickly arrested. I went to court to watch the proceedings. The judge asked how he pleaded and he said, "Guilty. But I didn't do it." 😅😊 The judge gave his lawyers a few minutes to "advise him" and then asked again.
Had the defendant heard of an Alford plea, and was trying it out?
(Which is, essentially, "Pleading guilty, but I am asserting my innocence.")
@@davidmescher2526
LOL I don't think he was that smart. He whispered to the lawyer "of course it was me, but I don't want nobody to know it" 🙄🤫🤔
These are the BEST, (along with statements made by insurance claims clients)!
Thank-you SO much for posting these!
It amazes me how many people think it's remotely OK to be rude to a judge. Do we not teach people how to behave any longer? (But yeah most of these are pretty funny.)
I don't think rudeness is warranted until a judge has shown themselves to be corrupt in some way, at which point you ought to be rude to them on principle.
If they were taught how to behave, they wouldn't be in front of a judge to begin with.
Other favorites "Why does everyone ask that?" "..check my schedule, it's pretty full of jail." "I'm vegan!" "That OK, they don't serve real meat in jail anyway." 😂😂🤣🤣😂😂
As a prior active duty Marine with 11 years of honorable service, I can confirm that the supplies, food, and tobacco that goes to military and prison are of the lowest quality. I've helped the PX and Chow Hall unload many boxes labeled "For Prison and Overseas Use Only." Those are the only two groups that can't complain because they've had their rights taken away: one by punishment, one by contract.
@@iwasnthere1745 So why does everyone want to shop at the commissary?
@@druidriley3163 Because that's the cheapest place to shop, and where the lowest quality stuff is is also where you have no other options. And most people don't know the issued gear or stuff you get on deployment is that bad, but you don't have any choices either.
@@iwasnthere1745 We have bases in town, and the families still prefer to shop at the commissary. I guess they're more concerned with prices and not quality of food.
That’s quite sad esp poor quality food for the military.
5:12 that reminds me of an interview James Brown did after a police chase that resulted in a drug and weapons charge … a reporter asked him ‘were you high at the time’ and without missing a beat Brown replied ‘high off’a God’
God, I so wish I had chosen a different career in life and became a court reporter! It sounds like an absolute BLAST getting to hear everything without having to know the pesky law, lol! 😂😂
Haha, schooling for it is shorter and cheaper too.
Though you do need to be capable of typing rather fast, recording things exactly as they are spoken.
You could get a job as one still, they are a job that pays pretty well, depending on where you are.
I imagine you have to hear a ton of depressing stuff for every funny moment.
🤣🤣🤣 Hilarious, thanks for the unbelievable laughs!
Even though there is no way some of these happened, they're still funny 😂😂
Defendant to judge - "Don't I have First Amendment -" Counsel - "STOP TALKING!"
How did he get Rigby as a lawyer?
HAAAMBOOOONIIIING!!! *vigorously slaps knees*
This was nice to watch. I have seen several youtube videos that have words and not people and the poster (or a bot) reads the words. I usually mute the audio and read the words myself.
Here however, there were words that I read while listening to pleasant music!
Tough Judges great sense of humor. Would love to see him try to fly as he Jumps our the window...😂😂🎉
3:49 Would have been funnier had he replied to the second question with "I'm sorry. What?"
Cool, thank you :)
2:53 Sweet Home Alabama!
I actually LOLd and qouted these to my wife more than any other UA-cam video. The Santana style guitar music was a distraction though. Didn't know whether to read or listen. I don't multitask ;-)
I happily, was able to do both.
Of course, I had some experience in the past, where I, on some days, had to listen to 5 different radios, tuned to 5 different radio frequencies for, 5 different conversations. So, this was easy!
I have ADHD and can't do the eating thing while doing other things that aren't watching videos or TV....but I can read and listen to random music, at least!
Quite amusing. Nice to know that all courtrooms aren't full of dour participants.
Best snippet of a conversation I once overheard as I was walking by two lawyers in Worcester:
“Yeah, but when a guy goes to jail for 20 years he has a long time to think about how his lawyer screwed up.”
4:29 I like how the DA corrects the Defense attorney so that if the guy on trial gets prison time from this case he cant file a petition to get the verdict overturned due to bad representation or some such. I think something like that happened before where the defendant had such a bad attorney but the case went on and he got a sentence for so many years. He later had another attorney file a petition or something. Not entirely sure as when I read about it it was like 8 years ago.
Omg this compilation is golden 🤣
Defendant to judge: "I have First Amendment rights"
Judge: "You can speak you mind but not on my time".
But it was written on his shirt, not spoken aloud. So it doesn't waste anyone's time.
I get why the judge would do this, though. The shirt is liable to bias the jury against him during the case. Now if he brought t-shirts for the prosecution to wear as well to balance it out, that would be an interesting argument.
Judge: I see here that you have estimated $$ dollars for the five hours you spent fixing the damages done by the accused on the appartment you rented him?
Landlord: yes your honor.
Judge: and your profession is a lawyer for this wellknown firm isnt it?
Landlord: yes your honor.
Judge: well that explains why you took five times the hourly rate as well as used twice the time doing something than someone who has this as a livelyhood would. As well as this very detailed explanation of what you did. It was like reading my grandsons homework when he tries to reach the minimum word essay set by his teacher and has very little to write.
Last time I ate 😻was six years ago and I'm STILL paying for it! 💀
"Your Majesty"🤣🤣🤣
LOL at the court reporter at 8:35 who was taking down the lyrics to Gin and Juice by Snoop Dogg! 😂
I was at the court house waiting for my case to get called. I was in the restroom and one of the city attorneys was asking me if i was ready to take a deal. He didn't even know me but i said i have a lawyer sitting out there.
8:00 this reminds me of a time when i heard someone say, "they're not mandatory, they HAVE to wear them!"
3:15 I LMAO’ed
To be fair to some of these, they have a valid argument or at least the judge is quibbling over something mundane like "inappropriate" clothing. If a police dog attacks you, you're going to get desperate and try unconventional means to get him to let go. If the judge objects to your graphic tee, that's his problem. Also, the judge making a comment about how the guy with 7 kids should have used protection is showing his bias and should be done with a different judge.
The court deserves and expects respect. You want to impress the court you don’t come in looking like a slob.
@@thesilversurfer7136 How I'm dressed shouldn't affect whether I'm found guilty or not, nor how much the bail is set at. If I'm going to "impress" the court, I'd rather do it with the testimony I give, not whether I wore shorts or slacks.
@@benwagner5089If your clothing is actually distracting, though - as the shirt in question would likely be - the judge has every right to say "not in my court".
And unfortunately, while I would love to flip a switch and turn off people's clothing-based prejudices, it doesn't work that way in the real world.
The idiot with 7 kids brought it up themselves, likely intending to use that information to influence the judge.
@@benwagner5089The judge can hold you in contempt for just about any behavior he doesn't like from you, so it's actually YOUR problem
Those were good!
I got to be #1000 thumbs up!
My advert on this video was snickers 'you have no filter when you're hangry' and then this comes up about snickers.
I’m wondering how people reacted to this marriage. 2:53
Just a Tuesday in Alabama
Hilarious
what is the last one?
I NEED THE CONTEXT OF THE GUY WHO BIT THE POLICE DOG
Seen them before - many times.
If one intends blanking out the reply, what's the point ?
money. shit words get no money.
This is why you put an even less G Rated saying on the inside of your shirt.
Are these actually real? They seem like jokes.
😹😹😹😹
I don't understand the joke on the cover...help me out
You don't argue 'Your rights' like that with the judge. Just do as he says before you get a contempt of court charge.
2:52 Let me guess. This happened in Alabama?
🤣😂🤣😂🤣
1:24 I wonder why he feels the urge to do that......
4:24 They aren't wrong though...
_That's 9.90 per day you're paying her to raise your kids..._
Why is he paying her to raise *their* children? Guarantee she fought for full custody.
Child support is for the child.
@@maxastroWell if people were making decisions in the best interest of the child, they wouldn't be getting divorced now would they?
@@jarrod752 True! But that doesn't relieve the court of its responsibility to make decisions in the best interest of the child.
@@maxastroAnd yet, the best decision would be to give the child to the parent with the income to properly take care of them. When that happens, a lot of other things go in a better direction. Just _giving the child to the mom and making the dad pay regardless_ is almost *never* in the best interest of the child.
@@jarrod752 And if the dad is abusive? Or was never taught how to take care of a child?
Look: Custody going to moms when it should go to dads is a real issue. Men get shafted here a lot.
But "the child should always go to the parent with the bigger income" is just an incredibly narrow minded statement. My dad molested my sister. Should he have gotten custody of her when my mom divorced him, if his income was higher?
Courts getting offended over such things is part of why I have no respect for the legal institution. Pompous self-righteous control freaks deserve to be offended at every opportunity.
If these weren't totally made up they would have the cases cited.
I'd bet $5 you're either a lawyer or a prospective one.
More to the point, it's entertaining for the same reason a movie is entertaining: suspension of disbelief.
@@TheMinecraftACMan Nope, 48 year old cybersecurity architect. I'm never going to be a lawyer. The fun in these things is the idea that someone actually said them. True funny stories are far better than fictional stories.
@@tracyrreed I know a few people that, if you told me they said some of these things, I would respond "yup, sounds about right."
Whether the authors of each post truly heard it in person or not, there are definitely people out there that would say these things in a courtroom with no hesitation.
Most of them share a common trait of not thinking before speaking.
Our rights are whatever some sassy judge with a sick burn and a bribe up his sleeve says they are and only arming ourselves can solve the problem.
I don't think these are funny.
Maybe it is what the humour of legal practitioners is. Bad.
You must be a lawyer then.
You didn't find ANY of them funny? There were a couple I didn't find funny. But most of them were. I can't believe you are so humourless as to not find ANY of them funny,
@@keepdancingmaria I've got a very good sense of humour. More the English type and not the American type.
@@ryansenft3315 🤣