‘Home is precious’: Hong Kong ‘McRefugee’ struggles with loneliness after return to ransacked flat
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- Опубліковано 5 сер 2024
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When Wong Yee-nga’s flat was broken into and ransacked in July 2019, the 82-year-old woman was left distraught that she spent more than a year sleeping at 24-hour McDonald’s branches. When the Hong Kong government banned overnight dine-in services at restaurants because of the coronavirus pandemic, she ended up spending nights in parks or on the street. But the Salvation Army Hong Kong and Macau Command stepped in to help her move back home. While much work remains to be done in Wong’s flat despite months of clean-up, she is also grappling with a bigger problem: loneliness.
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She wasn't robbed or ransacked.. she's a hoarder that needs not just help cleaning up but mental health services as well .. she's lonely and depressed and getting attached to objects.. my heart goes to her.. 😢💜
I can't feel to sorry for her, she had a place to live but she rather choose to live on the street. But other elderly who is really homeless and no property at all those I feel sorry for.
What's sad is. She's actually not poor, but she makes poor choices that leads her to end up in homeless situations. She has 2 apartments in hongkong. There are many more people more unfortunate than her, living in rented coffin homes. She could live very well by discarding / selling / donating all the stuff she hasn't use in the year. Then rent out one of the apartments, live properly in the other one. She can rent out room in the apartment she chose to live in. At least she won't be home alone.
@@cindyl.3699 you don’t understand that this is a mental health disorder.. something happened to make her like this.. it’s not a choice
She’s struggling … only feels secure by obtaining more objects
@@JJ-kb4ry Of course I understand, her condition is call obsession and hoarder disorder, I used to live with one. But she still choose to live on the street.
@@cindyl.3699 her condition made her hoard things to the point her home was inhabitable.
She needs help much more than just cleaning up her place. Her hoarding is just a symptom of her depression.
Second this!
It's not. She suffers from hoarding disorder primarily, everything else came secondary to that.
The help is call FIRE. Only fire can cleanse away all her attachment and illusions of those things.
Real depression
@ 💯agree with you the world should have more people like you .
Her problems are hoarding, depression, loneliness, and just generally mental health. With two flats and no obvious lack of cash, she's really doing fine financially and should be okay.
₩
But she's not, because she's old and needs help from her kids. Get over it. Forgive her for being a bad Mom or whatever they think of her and take care of your elderly Mother. One day it will be you.
Owning 2 properties in HK is the opposite of being ‘below society’. If she can get professional help to clean, maintain hoarding issues and get a few secure door locks, there is no issue. As a female, I rather take my chances getting squished to death sleeping rather than getting groped by creeps at the park. My mum semi- hoards, so I know the feeling. If you throw away an empty can or chair, prepare your own funeral. She might be stubborn, so her kids have probably given up trying to help her.
Excessive hoarding might be a sign of depression. Not easy to solve this problem.
Amen!!! I rent a small, small apartment in Chicago and she has two properties and their full of whatever? Wow!!!!!!
exactly pay someone to clean. Rent out the house and money comes back. The stuff she is hoarding isn't worth anything
She is a hoarder. Not a homeless person.
I didn’t expect something like this.
This woman needs more mental help than cleaning her house. How can she be left alone in her conditions ?
im interested in knowing why ALL 6 children abandoned her, despite owning 2 decent properties in expensive hong kong.
asians value filial piety no matter what but sometimes it's just a classic case of bad parenting. she might look sympathising in this old age but we cant tell what her true character is / was.
@@pepelepew1227 I agree with what you say. This woman in the video may be one who keeps repeating sad memories which probably her children can't bear to listen to. I know of an old lady who is like her, her children avoid her too, and her children are all doing well with their own careers and families. Can't blame the children.
@@sallyah1392 Exactly. its the same for me and my siblings. We don't have a relationship with one of our parents because of using their mental illness as an excuse to be poor, especially when they had assistance & multiple places to stay. So, we all avoid contact with this parent. Also, we are all doing well & made many accomplishments!
@@pepelepew1227 love my mother but I would avoid her like the plague too. From extreme old-fashioned mindset to chronic lying and child endangerment. This woman reminds me of my own mother, got that delusional vibe
@@bridgettejohnson9085 Who wants to be poor??? What the heck is this comment???? Nobody with a mental illness CHOOSE to be poor.
So she's homeless by choice, not because of financial difficulties..
Homeless by mental illness, actually. Not a choice, not necessarily financial, but tragic all the same.
Doesn't make it any less heartbreaking to see her like that. :(
she has 2 properties, alot richer than most people in hong kong but she hasnt got her full mental health and without health you dont feel happy
Exactly rich, selfish, and crazy 😒
Exactly.
She has 2 flats and chooses to live out on the streets and at McDonald's?? Insanity. This lady needs help.
Take away her property
@@tankman20064 GIVE THE PROPERTIES TO SOME NEEDY PERSON WHO WILL BE GRATEFUL.
@@tankman20064why do you think anyone should have to right to steal her property? She is clearly struggling and needs help, not to be stolen from
@@laurenanderson7330 agreed. who decides who gets her properties 😂 that mindset is why we have the corruption in government
I had a 2nd cousin , hes a hoarder.
Still remembered every long school holidays, me & my mom would vist him and well ..clean his house.. It breaks my heart every time cos he would cry tears & there would be tensions , oneday mom made him to promise - for every items that he hoard ,he must make sure to clean it firstly, then stack on racks or boxes according to type.
The hoarding never stopped, but it was much2 better environment in the house, things neatly separated. I did enjoyed helping him cleaning some of his stuff, especially the bicycles 😂. Occasionally tears when theres too much, we need to remove some things ( we made sure not to throw it away in the garbage bin in front of his eyes- that would hurt him - , some were sold - aka new life.
Somehow he sees every piece of the items he brought back as Love, every piece is a piece of his heart.
A wonderful person, kids likes to hitch free rides on his trishaw .
So guys hv empathy, its a difficult sickness to cure, but its manageable
Blessed you and your mom.
People needs to know that being a hoarder is more than being cheap or lazy. It's usually due to underlying mental health that takes more than just getting rid of some belongings
We are well aware!
I agree. My father was raised during the depression. Poor people never threw anything away. As adults, being able to buy many things, the hoarding begins. I went through many panic attacks whenever the plumber or the HVAC technician came to the house. They could have reported the house as being a fire hazard, hence unsafe.
I knew she wasn’t poor when she is shown eating fast food. Mcdonalds is more expensive than those streetside dimsum places that have better food. Plus her place is massive by hk standards and she has 2!. Have you seen the size of those coffin like rentals!? She can charge a pretty penny if she lets go of her hoarder attitude.
She needs medical help
she is lonely
hoarding isn't an attitude, it's a compulsive disorder related to ocd. she needs to seek behavioral therapy or else it'll never stop and her situation will never change.
She could be making extra income. Throw most of stuff in storage. And rent out her flats to College students. She move into much smaller space where no room hoard anything.
If she owns two properties in Hong Kong, her net worth is at least half a million dollars. She’s not in financial trouble at all. She’s just a hoarder.
Exactly.
It's not "just a hoarder". That's like saying, "it's just cancer" or "it's just epilepsy". It's a crippling illness, and one of the most difficult mental illnesses to treat. The rate of recovery is lower than treating addiction, which is less than 10% in the best of circumstances.
Buddhism says : Don't be so attached to things. This is really her problem.
"At least when I am sleeping here nobody will touch my thighs" -Wong Yee-nga #Facts
😄 I CAN'T!
hoarding is a real mental problem and disorder thats hard to understand from an outside perspective.
Thank you for your comment, so many people in the comment section think it just a "bad habbit". No, it's not! It has mental health roots that a very deep in someone character and personality. Maybe related to some past trauma. It's not something that can be solve just by throwing away her stuff...
We should seriously consider an adopt a grandparent campaign. No one should grow old lonely, homeless or hungry regardless of their circumstances.
That would be so awesome. I never met my grandparents
Yeah in China, statistic show every young person will need to take care 4 elderly, because of the current population growth problem, can some foreign countries start having some program and take care some of them for us
@@ktizilac1941 nah dude.
it's called a retirement home
@@popaganda919 no it's not. im sure most people would rather grow old with family rather than spend it in a retirement home.
" at least when I'm sleeping here no one will touch my thighs "
That broke my heart
My too
"At least when I am sleeping here nobody will touch my thighs"
I feel like the fact she said that, it must had happened least once before when she was sleeping in the streets
She look healthy and strong for a 82
Like most hongkongese .
In Hongkong if you have two flats, you must be rich.
That was my first thought. Some Hongkongers live on cages and grandma has two flats. Its really sad to see her condition.
Exactly what I was thinking also, she's 82, living rough, but owns two flats in H.K.??? Just sell one flat and she would live very comfortable for her years left???
@@keithdouglas9848 she wouldn’t throw expired biscuits why do u think she would sell her flat?
She probably worked so terribly hard, hours on end to buy those flats, so she couldn't let them go/sell. Also at her age, having been rejected even by her 'own blood', she'll trust no one, can't blame her.
@@keithdouglas9848 Exactly
It sounds like she lost her family because of her hoarding. That is so sad
Thank you to those kind volunteers who helped her. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Many factors contribute towards hoarding in people. I m glad she is getting assistance. She should be able to live in her own home. I have two family members who suffer from this but are in denial, fortunately for them the house is huge so a certain section in the house is just theirs with their hoarding stuff. It becomes a very sensitive topic if I try to tell them to discard as I get rid of stuffs I have not touched for a year or more.
I think all of us have that hoarding factor except most of us able to let go or throw away.
@@ryanryan28888 yes true I had that in me and it's actually horrible. It was in 2016 that I shifted to a small apartment and that's how I changed.
Agreed. I can’t get my mum to stop hoarding nor will she accept therapy. I’ve tried it all. Each room gets worse and worse every time I visit.
@@hunnipot1804 , it is not intentional hoarding ! It is as time people get older they accumulated a lots of things that they like and have memories of them with their family ( the reason not to disposed ) then when suddenly they come face to face by themselves ( children left partners die ) realize or other people telling them to throw it away ! the more they cling to the material things because it is all they have left ! and YOUNGER PEOPLE DO NOT UNDERSTAND ? !
So keeping 60 shampoo and conditioner bottles all at once on the go for just one couple living under one roof in a home lived in for 6 years is collecting keepsakes?
I think she is a difficult person/mother to deal with. That's why her children left her thus, became a hoarder. She needs help with her mental health. At 82, she slowly opened up thanks to the reporter's interview. Hopefully, she can let go her ego, anger and stubborness. She have to make peace and love herself.
yep, 100 percent
She isn’t actually poor. It’s just depression and what has happened to her in the past. I don’t blame her and her voice sounded wobbly. She seemed sad. She needs a companion.
Her places where she hoards is a sign of her depression in full display. She doesn’t want to face it nor tackle the task. That’s why she’d rather sleep outside. It’s easier to run away from your problems than to fix it. It makes sense.
You said that very well.
This is exactly what she is doing.
She doesn't hoard because she is depressed; she strongly thinks all that garbage has "value", she is obsessed with keeping it at all costs, she even says at around 5:00 that she'd "rather sleep on the streets" than throwing it away. Most depressed people do not hoard, they might have a hard time keeping a place clean due to lack of motivation, but do not hoard. This lady does have a strong motivation and that's very clear, her motivation is to keep all that junk at any cost.
Soo sad . I know how it's feels to be lonely
There is a spiritual teaching that you might like, called "Being Alone" at The New Message online. It says that being alone is actually a great opportunity that people who are in poverty and living in cramped conditions usually never have. It is an opportunity to grow a deeper connection with yourself.
Sad how the 6 kids left her to fend for herself
@@Sa.d.bo26 Even if she is difficult to deal with, I bet she never thought about giving up on any of them.
This is so sad, loneliness effect everything including hoarder. A single mother will care 6 child but 6child can't take care of single mother .
well said
She is a hoarder and none of your six children would even do an interview? It is not normal for children to distance themselves like that. Something is very wrong with this woman.
The kids want her to die by natural selection so they can claim the flat and rent it out
I agree.
Quite possible
@@Sa.d.bo26 its hard to reasons with a hoarder. My dad is a hoarder too. We love him but most of the times, we cant get whats on his mind. Everything is valuable to him. Im 35 now but i still hv my kiki lala cabinet since i was 5?.When my siblings n i were kids, we were told by our mom to throw away the old furnitures without him knowing, but we got caught a few times n my dad will made us get back the things that we threw away. Just imagine we need to go thru all the thrashes/rodents/cochroaches. Urghs. His habit become worse as him getting old. Now he will bring back thrashes from the outside. Cans,bottles etc. He became more sensitives. Although now he cant made us go thru the garbages again, he will show his tantrum sulking for weeks and started to isolates himself. Luckily now we hv quite a big yard. So it takes some times for him to pile it up. We thought of burning it all but we didnt. Scared he will get too shock n got a heart attack.
@@meluvpany it looks like your father is clinging to the past
When 6 children turn their backs on someone, it means that this someone have some deep rooted psychological problems that they are not prepared to deal with. She might be a very difficult woman that SCMP is trying to paint in a positive light or is trying to make her appear as the victim, if not as the result of her family, it would be the one of circumstances. I think the clip with the cigarette dangling out of her mouth is perhaps more telling of her personality than the entire video. If you missed it, re watch the video and take another look.
women shouldnt smoke cigarettes? i think its odd how all 6 of her kids have estranged her. maybe she was too strict/controlling over her kids because she wanted them to be successful but the kids hated her for it and now shes all alone
Well one thing I know now....hving children doesnt make you less lonely. And doesnt make sure you hve someone tking care of you in the old days. What has the world become?
Thank you judge
Misogynistic thinking.
@@johnnypham2850 where in his comment did you see anything misogynistic?
Letting go. The more you let go, the happier you are. We came with nothing, we will leave with nothing.
Such a sad story; having no one to eat meals with and being estranged from you children! Prayers and Blessings for her and her family!
I agree with every one’s comments. She owns 2 flats in HK !! She’s rich but has serious mental/depression and is lonely that is causing this. She has 6 children and none of them care about her. She is also a hoarder which is probably caused by loneliness/depression. She says those cookies and pasta are still ok after how many years ??!! It’s probable rotted and moldy by now sitting in all that garbage. She needs serious help.
My heart ❤️ goes out to her.
I think her children left her alone because of her hoarding behavior. It's hard to deal with people like that.
She seems like a very sweet little old lady,Just I think she is suffering from hoarding issues..She needs thr help and assistence from others..The fact she would rather be homeless than to live in her house,says a lot
People just don't realize how it feels to be old and lonely. 😢 Sometimes we talk a lot because we're lonely.
She's part of that generation who saw value in everything that and throwing away old things as throwing away money. My dad had told VCRs and tube tvs that he got for cheap or free but sees the value as valuable items.
Under such context. then everyone who have been keeping electrical wires from head phones to anything remotely related. just on the sentiment that it might be of some use later..... #relate.
Those places weren’t ransacked and made unliveable by thieves. She’s an extreme hoarder and has made her two properties unfit to live in herself. That’s what I extreme hoarders do. They make one space unliveable and then move on to another and another because they can’t throw anything out. She made this problem and even with people willing to help she won’t get rid of the junk until she goes through everything herself. Unfortunately, this is her problem to solve and it will only be sorted out when she gets control of her hoarding.
These hoarders need psychological help followed by actual cleaning actions. Or else the cleaning won't happen forever. My mom is a bit of hoarder and she's living alone. My siblings and I would advise and consult her before cleaning up, but when that didn't work, we clean up when she was not at home. It works.
it is sad indeed... to be her age and alone but having 6 kids who left her must mean it's karma for her. She's depressed definitely and thinks of the past a lot. It's not easy for children to finally leave their parents. But deep traumatic events are usually the causes of it. Whether children cannot forgive themselves and parents themselves as well...
My Dad was like this.
They hoard out of the fear of having nothing and I can't blame them (My dad grew up Dirt poor on the streets) he never learnt past survival mode even after gaining success in life.
At least this lady is back home... for how long I don't know cause stuff seems to be piling up again.
Her children should be ashamed of themselves. Six kids and they just abandon her. Awful. I’m praying for her.
the fact that she have 6 kids and none of them can step up and help her .. I have no words
annette bogert yeah, especially when all of that stuff could fall at any moment.
Exactly. They should be ashamed of themselves.
The fact that none of six children want anything to do with her says alot to me -- about her.
Why? It seems.they grew.up in an awful environment. with a mother who lies alot to get her way.
Glad to know that she still healthy 👍👍
A single mother can raise 6 children while 6 children can’t even afford to help single mother😢
Always be grateful to ur parents and never leave them like this...😣
They were raised in this environment.
I don’t think the children want to return to something like this.
It seems she values possessions over family.
I'm so glad they stayed in touch with her. I did think it was odd the first time we met her how she's not living In her own home. Great job salvation army. Hope she can be refer to some community club so she won't have to live on the street just to be with people anymore
So sad. She need some mental health care. This will never change till she does. She’s a hoarder. She seems to value her stuff over her life. This is not living. Pray for her.
Her condition is exactly like some of the senior citizens in my country here who are always like to linger around at the town centre, lazing around at the temple where is crowded with visitors, main bus transit stations, big malls and so on. NGOs here have been mistakenly assuming that they have been left abundant or even mistreated by their family members. But after the investigations are being carried out by the state’s welfare department and other respective NGOs, some of these senior citizens even have cars and their own apartments. They are just lonely and need to spend their time fruitfully after retiring at their old age.
Would roommates help in these types of situations?
I agree :). Also if they are lonely, they need to get part time jobs or do charity.
@@anonymousaccount6598 exactly it would help. She has two rental properties
She has too many things which she doesn’t need. If she keeps only the things she is going to use, then she will be ok. The problem is she keeps everything n need mental help.
It is. She have hoarding illness
She is lonely and misses her children. The loneliness makes memories attached to every item more precious than what they really are. If any of her kids could visit and help her maintain her place regularly she would be much better. The personal relation will help her detach from her material possession. I hope they can reconcile while their mom is still strong. You are one family notwithstanding your individual differences. There is always room for acceptance and forgiveness.
Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily translate into a reconciliation.
If you live with someone with her condition, you will know why her children left her. She can't let go of junk to straighten her life, you think that is something easy to deal with up close?
It’ll never happen.
We’re is the government or her family poor woman I feal sorry so many people are lonely in this horrible world
Full of sadness
😢😢 It is very sad to see her in such condition. Really heart-breaking.
My pray is for her to be able to let go of the items, and her daughter may want to visit her again. 😢😢
Hoarding is just the manifestation of her depression trying to fill up an empty void thats inside of her. 😥
How could her children leave her like this
I see people in comments demonizing her kids, which is so wrong. We can all agree and sympathize with the fact that she’s a hoarder due to mental health problems but why can we not see how that traumatized her kids? Many parents with severe mental problems are not the best parents, I speak from experience...
Yes exactly we don’t know what kind of mom she was to her kids and a lot of comments saying her kids are heartless. We shouldn’t judge her kids. We don’t know the whole story maybe they got tired of trying to help .
That’s heart touching
Her things have a nice, safe, comfortable home... meanwhile she is on the streets... 😔
i dont understand if shes a hourder or if shes cheap.. she seems like a hoarder, and then she needs help before she ends up in the streets again
From my experience, just throw or sell everything except the bed.
The title is incorrect. Should have been: Hoarder lives on the street due to lack of space.
Hoarded so many things that she would rather sleep on the streets than in EITHER of her TWO homes. How sad.
I think as some people age they tend to hang on to things much more. Especially when family and friends aren't around and partners pass away. And being elderly it becomes harder and harder to tidy up and cope This happened to my mom. When I finally convinced her to move in with me cuz she couldn't take care of her home I tried to get her to get rid of things that when she was younger she would have. Now she won't part with anything. We had to get a storage space for $150/month for things she hasn't seen in approximately 5 years or more. It got worse and worse over time and I worked 6/days a week then trying to take care of her on Sunday when I lived over an hour away. No other family member would help. It's very tough and my heart goes out to this woman. I couldn't have imagined my mom on the streets
Seeing her daughter wouldn't comment we really don't know the whole story. I hope she finds peace and happiness for the rest of her years
My mom is the same age.
there is a book called the magic art of tydying up by Marie Kondo. Give it to her. $150 a month, your mum stuff ain't worth that much. Might as well chuck it or give it away.
Same story as me, storage and all of it but we pay more for storage haha
All 6 kids not speaking to her? I pray for her 🙏 😔 and them.
I would cry on her shoulders and hug her.
I am so sorry about her problem, this problem affects so many people there is not enough effort to help these people sickness.
So sad that she has no relationship with her children
Oh no man, it's too late for my brain to handle these emotions.
She have 2 houses but she rather let all the stuff she hoard live in it and she live on the street. This is not housing problem but mental health problem. She need company as she is lonely and there seems to be no meaning for her to be living, may she be well 🙏🏼
How terribly sad. I grieve for this woman.
She is a hoarder, needs professional help, she has not tried to stop hoarding.
Estranged from all six of her children? That's a sign of an abusive parent.
I have a friend that lives like this piles of clothes and boxes piled up up even the kitchen is full of stuff. She keeps food inside a refrigerator outside on her paitio. Her room mate digs stuff out of the trash bins every day and brings things home. The patio is full of stuff other renters have tossed away. She doesn't have space for a bed.
so sad,
she's just helpless elderly woman, with heartless six children.
😥
It's statistically improbable that ALL six are heartless. There has to be something wrong there in their dynamic, and the common denominator of is her. But it's still terribly sad for her. 😔
We don’t know the full story on why her six children don’t have a relationship with her . So we can’t assume her children are heartless that says more about her then her children. There is more to the story .
The bigger issue is that she's a hoarder. She feels powerless and lonely but those things are the only sense of control she has. She needs to get help and find a way out that mindset. Her problem is more mental than financial
True, just dont have kids.
Prayers for this poor woman who needs help🙏
they want to help but looks like she not even think want to throw the stuff she own.. its road block for helpers. So dont blame the helper never tried
I think she should be taken care by her children. They should be responsible.
Misleading title, her flats don’t seem to be have ransacked or burglarized. She is a hoarder. So sad.
Unfortunately, she's estranged from her children. From the way she spoke to the Salvation Army volunteers, it can be feel quite negative and depressing for people trying to help her. Don't think she's an easy person to live with but no matter, she's their mum. Even though it may be unpleasant, they should at least occasionally visit her from time to time.
No.
They probably grew up in this environment they don’t want to go back to it.
It seems she values possessions over anything else.
Would you really come back to neglect?
She lost me when I realized she was a hoarder...in complete denial. It's both sad and disgusting, so it's hard to sympathize. They needed to "steal" everything from one of her apartments and let her think she's starting fresh, but with a lot of therapy.
It's her choice. And I guess she's too much attached to stuff, that she'd prefer to live outside than to remove the unnecessary things.
i think the problem here is not "homeless", its "hoarder"???
Having 2 flats means she's rich.Id presume her children left her due to unavailable space because of her hoarding.She value her stuff more than anything/anyone else.
Lady u are inspiring so many
I've met a lot of seniors from Hong Kong that live like this. They have money and are not homeless, but have no one to spend time with their kids are too busy with their own family and they don't want to be a burden on them so they choose to live alone.
She is lonely.. I feel so sorry for her...
She's lonely and depressed without her loved ones around.
I think loneliness triggered her don’t want to let go anything that she has in that house. Maybe her family all left her rather they passed away or just not in contact with her. This is so sad! If I was there I’ll eat with her every day, we’ll go shopping, go for a walk, etc.
Alot of old lady in hk so loneliness
So sad.. Where the kids never have time for the mother 😢😢😢😭😭😭
She’s wealthier than me…. This is hella dumb
That hasn't been ransacked she's a hoarder
She rather sleep on the streets than throw the things away. Owing 2 properties is a big deal especially a Hong konger like her
She said it herself, I'd rather sleep on the streets than throw my hoard!
Her own daughter didn't want to say anything how selfish!
6 kids all stay away from her ? that is a sign something wrong with tis hoarding woman.
feels like the world is upside down at times, people who have homes won't live in them because of hoarding.
I’m just scratching my head at the fact that she owns 2 property and still decides to sleep on the street. ? When I saw her story last year I felt sympathy for her but now knowing her situation now I don’t know what to think of her .
Clearly she has some mental instability going on as it seems she doesn’t want the responsibility of taking care of and cleaning her home. And she clearly has a hoarding problems which probably will continue even after the volunteers clean it up. I don’t know her situation with her children but clearly there’s more to her story .
Her own government didn't help her, instead the Salvation Army did? Wow. That poor lady.
She's definitely a hoarder!!!! She need professional help both mentally and physically. Smh