”That’s great, thank you. Look a bit to your left, thank you. I just like to listen to your heart, That’s lovely. Alright we are done, thank you.” That is all you need to know!
I try to watch these videos to put myself to sleep and yet here I am at 3:30 AM - still awake - wheezing as I try not to wake up anyone else in the house whilst reading these comments. Comedy at its finest. 😂 I love how the ASMR community has its own gold mine of memes. 👌
*speaks softly* we do not have a gold mine, we have a stream which has a lot of gold containing rocks, because the sound of water is way nicer... *water flows ocer some rocks in the background*
At 4:48 I was looking away and got a notification. I looked at my phone, saw them, I thought the old man was the doctor, and got beyond concerned when he started undressing.
“And read the second line.” James took her firmly stroking his hand down her soft belly towards her expectant, quivering mound...” “Yes, Thankyou!” Snatches book away.
9:19 it’s as if the command “stop breathing” genuinely turned off the man’s breathing function and he went in to despair for a moment! Haha honest to god don’t think he would’ve ever breathed again if the command to start breathing never came.
8:53 That old "man" (read:lizard person) seems to have no idea what humans are supposed to look like when holding their breath and also... 9:16 breathing.
It’s sad physicians no longer do this anymore, it’s typically a revolving door policy, 30mins-1 hour wait, 15 minutes out. The human body is quite resilient.
4:45 "Now Mr Jackson I'd like to examine your heart now please." >*Punches through his rib cage and tears out his beating heart* >Examines whilst Mr Jackson goes into shock and spasm "Yes thank you."
That is officially the first day of the week. However, some businesses begin schedules on Monday. Some parts of the US also consider Sunday as the first of the week, while others say Monday.
@@beatrice0610 only in the US or if you're Jewish. The rest of us follow the international standard ISO 8601 with Monday being the first day of the week.
14:23 "I want you to imagine I have a little samurai sword and I'd like you to just sit there complacently accepting your fate as i attack in slow motion please. Thank you."
![Princess Eev 🍍 [ASMR]](http://yt3.ggpht.com/625jt9EcA7EhOum2nlkr5CRQMTSo0hSWZ0lCj_LaC_F-xOHLxbA-ZHlvTK95cGTKtlkNpYiI1w=s48-c-k-c0x00ffffff-no-rj)
"I'd like to test your vision. Do you wear glasses?"
"No."
"Thank you. That concludes the vision test."
He's top tier in doctors and it shows
Do you have pain in your tummy? No. *Feels her for 5 minutes*
Fuck sakes 😂😂😂
Lmaooo
@@ChrisEightyNine- I think he was trying to possibly feel for a little baby
I’ve seen so many variations of these unintentional asmr medical training videos that I could probably acquire a medical license at this point.
No you couldn’t
I think he could.
@@mark83175 sarcasm
Eat a sandwich first.
”That’s great, thank you. Look a bit to your left, thank you. I just like to listen to your heart, That’s lovely. Alright we are done, thank you.”
That is all you need to know!
I wish my doctor worked in an eternal, black abyss.
Lmao the first thought at the beginning of the video I had was "Holy shit, we're in the void!"
@@s3dchrWOW SO FUNNY
If I could just have you read this comment. That's lovely. Thank you.
You sneaky bastard
Well played
I see what u did there, genius.
Sneaky bugger
that's great. thanks
17:07 Cortez asking Aztec emperor Cuauhtemoc where he hid the gold, 1533 (colorized)
Also Cortez being asked where the Aztecs went
Also the Spanish when asked why the gold didn't make their economy strong but bankrupt instead
Lmao
Jajaja siempre me recuerda a que los españoles olian a mierda como todos los europeos.
Gloriously brilliant
This is the longest foreplay i've ever seen
UA-cam really needs a laugh react😂😁
Doctor: ''Im just going to feel your tummy now''
**proceeds to give energetically loud raspberry**
''Thats lovely. Thank you''
Only a small part of me expected it to actually happen.
10:34 When I decide to talk to a girl but end up being awkward.
I try to watch these videos to put myself to sleep and yet here I am at 3:30 AM - still awake - wheezing as I try not to wake up anyone else in the house whilst reading these comments. Comedy at its finest. 😂 I love how the ASMR community has its own gold mine of memes. 👌
*speaks softly* we do not have a gold mine, we have a stream which has a lot of gold containing rocks, because the sound of water is way nicer... *water flows ocer some rocks in the background*
I was about to comment this exact same thing...hahaha...ooh man, Im crying in silence...
Literally me rn 😂 especially the "when your homie asks if you're high" bit. Lawd have mercy 😂😂😂
It's 3:12 am rn and I'm doing the same thing. This is definitely a trap.
same right now bro lmaooo
13:03 when your homie asks if he looks high
The torch and everything comes out
LMAO
16:50 When I make eye contact with my crush from across the room.
best!! :D
Should probably stop doing that
Lol
This comment should be ranked more highly.
14:00 when your friend takes your pen and you want it back
16:07 I need a 20 minute video of this
Omg my tingles jesus
SAME
thats my fav part lol
Me too
Look no further than to asmr
21:57 when ur mum’s giving u a lecture in the car
DAMN TRUEEE
Fuuuuuuuuck 😂😂😂😂
Pretty accurate
What’s your insta 😂
Max Porter water bottles for thirst sold separately 😂
9:18 this guy almost dies everytime the doctor has him manually control his breathing
Umm, why am I now breathing manually
@@cxg6037blinking manually, swallowing manually, breathing manually, you also have jingle bells stuck in your head now
Dude....how can i go back to working automatically@@Jack6J57
@@Jack6J57jokes on you I’ve been do it my whole life
5:34 man fell asleep
doc said gimme ur hands he shot up like he was late for work 😂😂😂😂
youtuber lol ya
He got reanimated
@@dekudude8888 a man with culture i see
Doctor: Ok can I ask you to stop breath
Old man: *dies*
Doctor: ok thankyou
Is this doctor Jack the Ripper because he would never be caught
Ahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahqha
At that point the patient would go all lovely and floppy.
@@airmackeeee6792 not for very long though... Rigor mortis is kind of a bitch 💀
@@Li_Tobler 😁😁😁😁
15:56 me at the snooker club when they ask me where the balls have gone
15:51 me when I know I’ve gotten away with it, again
I laughed so hard at this. Thanks!
Ironically both faces that Ronnie might be making at any given point in a break lol
00:54
I just fell off the bed laughing 😂😂😂😭
creepy
#BirdBox
Metallica
0:56 When you and him are fooling around, on the first date.
9:20 mfw they didn't listen and I have to tell the whole story again
Mobile suit gundam
With all these exams I’ve watched, I’m basically a doctor
Ahhhh, BUT... Could your voice lull someone to sleep...?
FR-💀
More or less
This may have the best comments section on UA-cam
I'm having fun jumping from timestamp to timestamp.
This is amazing 😂😂
Bob Ross’ comment section: “Am I a joke to you?”
So read them again
28:39 And there's the doctor's joke.
simonbodd 28:39 *
I don’t get it ...
Old man was acting so strange he suspected he was actually a lizard guy
32:35
“Could you just breath like you’re in the Olympics 200m Men’s Butterfly for me?
That’s lovely, thank you.”
"Hold your breath for me please"
Dementor steals his soul.
"Thankyou"
At 4:48 I was looking away and got a notification. I looked at my phone, saw them, I thought the old man was the doctor, and got beyond concerned when he started undressing.
BRO WHAT
😂😂😂😂
After the examination was complete, the doctor prescribed a navy suit for war.
Okay now cover your other eye and read the second line
Yes but not before he apologizes for his sandwich breath
This comment got me red in the face.
Fight.... Fight..... FIGHT
When you walk up to reception but the person behind the counter hasn’t noticed you. 16:21
3:25 “im just gonna feel your left kidney”
*pulls out kidney *
“Thank you”
12:33 there’s no way he going to do it from th... oh
😂😂😂
4:12 drops a fart, tests the flavour
Meaty with a pinch of egg
13:08 U WOT, MATE?
Spikey hopefully he didn’t have sandwich breath
@@Patrick-dh5mv yess
That’s accurate
@@Patrick-dh5mv that vid is goated
I'll poke your eye out!
10:50 "Just read the top line. "
"and he screamed, "You ain't never taking me alive, copper. Not never." "
"Thank you..."
Just read the top line
"We gotta cheese it, fellas! The fuzz is here! They ain't never gonna take us alive!"
“And read the second line.”
James took her firmly stroking his hand down her soft belly towards her expectant, quivering mound...”
“Yes, Thankyou!” Snatches book away.
9:19 it’s as if the command “stop breathing” genuinely turned off the man’s breathing function and he went in to despair for a moment! Haha honest to god don’t think he would’ve ever breathed again if the command to start breathing never came.
He was a quiet man. An artist…
A craftsman
A landscaper
Let the saw do the work...
...Something about the goats and sheep
...something about looking at the grass, and at the sky, and a Russian mom....
15:25 when I'm so shocked at the latest gossip
When he asks you to make that face in bed.
8:53 That old "man" (read:lizard person) seems to have no idea what humans are supposed to look like when holding their breath and also... 9:16 breathing.
I can’t. I’m dead. This one got me! 😂
Omg why did he open his mouth like that 😭😭
16:52 ok doc this is exam is taking a weird turn.
10:50 Realized that the Captain of the Titanic was having a cranial exam.
@CC-watches - But I thought he went down with the ship, how is that even possible
This brings back so many good memories of getting medical checkups as a kid. My first experience with ASMR.
My first experience with tingles was at the nurse office getting a lice check
@@-_Fawi_-yep!
Skipped to 27:50 and thought he was pronouncing his death lmfao
Bernie getting that free healthcare at 4:43.
Mom: okay fine we can get McDonald's!
Me: 15:51
Came here to sleep, stayed for the comments 😂😂
Tia Pickering same 😂😂
"If you can just smell my sandwich breath for me."
"Great, thank you."
You want to fall asleep faster?
Take a shot of vodka every time they say “thank you”
Instructions unclear now my cats on the roof thanks mate
By "fall asleep faster" you mean die?
It’s sad physicians no longer do this anymore, it’s typically a revolving door policy, 30mins-1 hour wait, 15 minutes out. The human body is quite resilient.
4:08 deadest creps ever seen on UA-cam
she wearing the sorting hat from harry potter lmao
Conrad Buckley 😂😂
11:05 I could listen to him read me bedtime stories every night.
omg your so right !
This is Unintentional ASMR at its finest!! I could watch these for hours. And I do!! LOL
12:36 this is like visual ASMR for me
couldn’t agree more
The lady is dressed like a pirate
No more like a woman who missed the train to Hogwarts ten years ago. 😄
Wow, shade thrown at Debbie, poor Debbie
Lmao
Names probably helga
Pirates were in that year
13:11 *Y O U W A N T T O F U C K I N G B R A W L ? ? ?*
13:55 ooh you want the pen? you want the pen? come get the pen
These comments got me dying
4:48
My uncle when he comes over to see me
Extremely underrated comment
What a comment 😂😂
0:50 when you want your friend to look up!
I randomly skipped to 5:54 and I thought that’s the slowest pick pocket I’ve ever seen
18:28 “ could you take off all your clothes so i can examine your hands”
Im dying
Ahahahahahahahaha
4:45 "Now Mr Jackson I'd like to examine your heart now please."
>*Punches through his rib cage and tears out his beating heart*
>Examines whilst Mr Jackson goes into shock and spasm
"Yes thank you."
🤣
Kali ma
Kali ma
Shock titty.
Cringe
I lasted about a minute and 45 seconds before checking the comments, knowing there would be gold.
4:10 now I will listen to some bowel sounds,
4:13 sniffs twice to see if she farted.
xkencx *faints*
"if you could just open your mouth for me?"
*spits in her mouth*'
"ah, lovely thanks"
I had no idea Eric Clapton is a doctor.
canadianmaple09 maybe her name is Sally
That man reading those lines would actually be a great narrator for films etc.
"Picture for schools, take 8"
I have a count dooku vibe with the old man and freaking love it😊
16:40 villagers in Minecraft be like
13:09 looks like he’s squaring up 😂
No sandwich breath warning at 12:36?
He wanted to get in a fight fight fight fight fight
Not professional enough he is now inclined to beat him up
29:00
I'm ded XDD
10:58 when I'm going back to my room and realized I forgot that me mum asked me to wash the dishes
I bet the sandwich breath at 7:05 was off the charts.
13:03 when you gotta kiss your homie goodnight
British people are so polite
Never heard of chavs then?
british "people"
1:54 ITS DINNER TIME
Joseph Joestar Yare Yare Daze
9:25 "And stop breathing.... and breath again please" sir, sir? SIR I NEED YOU TO FUCKING BREATH RIGHT NOW GOD DAMN IT.
"Can I kiss you?"
15:07
"Okay."😏
13:02
Cringe as hell 🤣
"Open your mouth"
Nice try Doctor, im not falling for that again.
“If you’d like to sit on the couch for an examination” I gotta use this line more often 😈
Doc: I just want to feel your neck
(Woman dies)
Doc: ok thank you
12:37 when you arrive after curfew and your mom was convinced you did drugs.
What kinda monster starts listing the days of the week at Sunday
Someone in need of a doctor's checkup.
Everyone in the US
That's the first day of the week dum dum
That is officially the first day of the week. However, some businesses begin schedules on Monday. Some parts of the US also consider Sunday as the first of the week, while others say Monday.
@@beatrice0610 only in the US or if you're Jewish. The rest of us follow the international standard ISO 8601 with Monday being the first day of the week.
deadass at 18:06 the video was quiet and i had my phone facedown and his somewhat deep voice startled me so much
I want this guy to do a full audiobook
Know damn well he didn’t get a drop of germ-x in his hands at 0:18
12:33 idk why that gave me so many tingles
Ophthalmoscope examinations are always so tingly, there’s many of them here
Play this at 0.75% speed.... you're welcome
So many tingles
LMAO it worked but now I imagine they are serious medical professionals drunk as fuck lol
No...thank you
Play at .25 speed and you get some really weird vibes
Was wondering which hogwarts house her boots were gonna sort him into
OMG
Me on the evening of a first date: 1:40
14:23 "I want you to imagine I have a little samurai sword and I'd like you to just sit there complacently accepting your fate as i attack in slow motion please. Thank you."
28:12 definitely fell asleep and forgot where he was based on his face
12:07 when your mom lectures you to stop throwing the boomerang because you hit your face with
23:13 When ur paraplegic but ur friends don’t believe u
If the room is a black void, where is the
“distant clock”?
that is one dark doctors office
Wojciech Skowron lol!
Nyarlathotep practising his acts of human imitation in the void of chaos
These comments had me screaming y'all crack me up
“If you could” instead of “would you please” has really changed English into a passive language
“The distant clock” now there’s a good name for a book
Im the janitor but the docter will be here shortly
Sounds like a scene from the film Asylum with Robert Powell😂
This takes me back to when i was a little kid getting medical checkups
Mum: If you laugh, i know yphr lying. Also mum: 12:46