I’m 16 yrs old and I came out to my family about being lesbian, and they got so mad at me..they said my friends put that lgbtq stuff into my head...when they never did, I learned who I am on my own...and every month I keep telling them I want them to accept me, but they are full on religious Christians...and I’m scared to be myself, and just want them to accept me...they keep telling me they will love me NO MATTER WHAT but now I’m starting to think that it’s a lie....and when I talk to my dad about my feelings and who I am..he doesn’t listen, he just cuts me off and gets angry at me...and I don’t know what to do...and one time I became so scared of him and he yelled at me to get up when I was sitting in the corner of the room while he towers over me...and he grabbed my arm and tried dragging me to get up and I yelled NO to him...and ran away from him to the downstairs room into the corner of the living room and he just looked at me in disappointment from a distance....Please help me...I only have 2 people who completely accept me and support me....I need help getting the love and support I need from my family...and my Father...please.
hi, I know I am a little late but what I would say is find people that support you and more importantly support yourself! The truth is you might not get love for your parents. It's sad but true. If your father does anything to harm you CALL THE POLICE. I hope you find peace!
@Exotistical I’m scared too. I’m bi and I came out to my friend a year ago but not my parents yet. I’m so scared to. Because I’m the car she asked me if my friend was still questioning her sexuality. And I told her idk because it’s non of her business. And she told me “no gay shit is gonna happen in my house, so don’t ever think of coming out to me”. Now idk what to do.
Just move out when you get older gun there’s no point in continuing the conversation. Every time they bring it up ignore it they’ll get the picture. Religious people don’t understand that YOU as their kid are their legacy and if they don’t treat YOU right when they get old they’ll be in a nursing home. Karma always comes around no matter the religion. God don’t like ugly.
@@june93662 just don’t it’s a waste of your time and they’ll never change because they’re not as intelligent as you. You understand yourself, don’t let people gaslight you any different.
@@HeyoitsJay my girlfriend told me that she believes that my family does gaslight me, into thinking I have to do this or that as they say, even though I have my own life now that I'm an adult and that I am allowed to celebrate and do what I want to do
Completely understand the importance of removing yourself from a shitty/unsupportive environment - however I would also to say before making such a big & scary decision (esp. if young!) try to guage whether or not your parents’ level of homophobia is something that can be worked on and unlearned with some time. My parents were incredibly homophobic for a pretty significant while but I wasn’t majorly ready to start life on my own so I decided to just stick it out. Now a couple of years later, they’ve completely changed and come around and are the most supportive ever and I’m glad I gave them that time. Obviously not everyone will be this lucky so definitely put yourself first and do what’s right for you and your specific situation, but think it over carefully.
I really like this strategy when it works! Do you have any advice on getting them to learn? My dad seems alright with it sometimes but isn’t interested in the lgbtq community as I am, and my mom just doesn’t like talking about it at all 😔
Well I have plan for some people it might sound a bit toxic but still my plan is that once I bought my own place and move out of my parents house I will come out to them this way even if they dont accept me I will still have a place to stay at
Oftentimes it's psychological safety. I feel like I needed to do it, but I look at people who were never forced to be different from their families and I wonder if I would be like them if I wasn't gay.
I am 13 and and going into 8th grade, I came out to my mom as bi when I was in 6th grade. I came out to her as lesbian in January 2021 and was not accepted. I have been gender fluid since 5th grade, my mom recently forced me to come out to her about being gender fluid and she said "not in my house." I also came out to my father and he said "no that doesn't exist". The only people in my family that support me are my sister, and great aunt. My parents are split, they have been since I was 4. I am constantly being mentally abused. My parents blame my friends for me being this way. My mom is consensually calling me mean names. I don't know what to do, I am on the edge right now. I have asked to see a therapist but I was denied. I need help and I need to leave, I can't take much more. I have 5 reasons I am not dead, my sister(11), baby brother(5), my friends, girlfriend, and pets. Please give me some tips, I need help.
I know it's hard but live for what you're living for, and detach yourself from your parents. If they can't accept you, then they aren't family; they don't need to be a part of your journey. You've got a long way to go, immerse yourself in other things like education to take your mind off of things and focus on yourself, love yourself and nurture yourself as you wish your parents would. Stay strong, i know it's hard but hang in there. Maybe even consider getting an apartment or living with your gf, if possible. Coping strategies, you can find online, help too.
We get to choose our family-not biologically, but in the ways people treat us. No matter what they’re saying to you, you are not the problem. Make sure your sister and aunt know how much their acceptance helps you. You deserve to exist and to find happiness and fulfillment in life. You matter. You aren’t the first person to live through this struggle, but you can. Someday you’ll look back with thick skin and a generous heart, more capable of understanding and compassion than your parents choose to be. That is progress. I find it helpful to focus on my education and physical fitness simply to spite the homophobes. Kind of like, “I’m going to be successful and happy, and you can’t do anything about it, SO THERE.” If your parents understood happiness and love, they might still be together, right? So take their nonsense with several grains of salt and PLAN to have your own life. You have family around the globe cheering for you!
Hey :) I hope you're alright. I'm so sorry to hear what you have to go through. Maybe you can find a way to live with your aunt instead of living with your parents, because obviously they're treating you very bad. Just know that you are valid and loved❤️🏳️🌈✨ we're here for you, you are not alone
I told my mom I was bisexual at age 11 a couple months ago and my mom said I was joking so every time something comes up she said "that's all they show is gay people!" That actually really hurt and I wish she wouldn't say that but she does :(
So, I'm a minute in and I don't know the presenters at all, but saying "cut yourself off from everything you've ever known and your entire support system because it's toxic and you're 19" is a super privileged position to take. Queer teens and young adults are starving and getting murdered on the street because they have been forcibly cut off from their homophobic support systems. I'm not saying I would have an answer for this person, but the glibness that the presenter had with their answer was just all sorts of wrong.
@@rayasunshine8360 Yeah, for real! I want to get out of my house but I'm completely dependent on my parents for money and studies. The least I can do is being more open about my identity online and with friends at uni. This sucks!
When i said to my homophobic mum im lesbian she said-you mean u like girls? i said yes and she said-Yea its normal to like girls as friends! And then i guess im just gonna wait till im 18 and then imma tell them and leave
I’m 21 and came out to my mom, brother, grandparents and Cousin about being bisexual. The ONLY ones who show me they are loving and care are my cousin… my brother did but he doesn’t understand . My mom and grandparents ignore me. Keep telling me it’s a phase. I can’t move right now due to Covid
Am I the only one when A homophobic/Transphobic family member tells everyone she's supportive of my sexuality but then as soon as you get home automatically told to shut the F up and get misgendered and told its phase and my relationships are fake?. does anyone deal with this bs cause this tiring af T.T
YESS OMGGG they claim to not be homophobic but once it's you who is homosexual it's not normal, you're confused, it's just a phase, ect. It really is tiring
Last nite my trans ftm friend was over, I'm bisexual. Dad avoided us the entire time. Later on he stormed into my room drunk, demanding to know who "it" was and what is "it" to my friend. He wouldn't speak to my friend and kept demanding answers about what I am doing, who said I could have a friend over etc. Insinuating I was dating "it". I'm 24...
When I was 10 I came out to my mom as bi (even though I thought I was lesbian back then because it was easier to just say bi) I’m now 13 and my mom never took my coming out seriously because i was “too young to know” which is such bullshit I identify as pansexual rn but I really am not planning to come out until I’m in my twenties because my mom and older sister are extremely homophobic and I feel like I would just get kicked out or hated in this family even more if I were to come out (just dumping in the comments section because i need an outlet because i was crying about this earlier) 🫶🏼
Okay, at first I was just putting it up to my ear so my family wouldn't hear, so I wasn't looking at the screen, and I was so confused when he said I might be lesbian but then I realized that he was reading off of a card.
I'd call anyone that's supportive, from friends to family. I'd just pack my things, get out, and support myself. I'd probably be roommates with my friends if I could.
I'm currently 13 and I think I'm lesbian and I don't know what to do because my entire family is very homo phobic and my mom caught me listing to a lesbian song and she said "what the hell is this you better not be gay" and my sister and a phew friends know but I don't know what to do what do you think I should do?
im julia and im 10 i think im lesbian and i live with homophobic grandparents what should i do? im in a situation where i dont know what to do i know yall are probably gonna say "your to young to know that" but thats fine because thats what my mom said when i tried to come out to her she said im to young to know that but i think i like a girl my age . what should i do???
Can someone give me some advise I am 13 and just recently figured out I’m lesbian I want to tell my parents but they are super homophobic so much that they would probably disown me if I told them for now only 3 of my friends, my cousin, and my sister know
Repressing your identity is awful and you don't need to do that, but your overall safety comes first. If you don't feel safe coming out, then don't. Just don't neglect expressing and exploring your identity. Try finding different ways to be yourself, online or in communities near you. Depends on which one's easier. In time, you'll understand if it's actually worth to come out to your dad. At 12 years old it's understandable you care so much about your family and wanting them to accept you. But as you grow up, your life expands to fit more people. I'm not saying it's meant to happen, but you don't need to come out to them if you feel like you can just separate yourself from people who you know won't accept you as who you are, if that includes them. At least that's what I personally think about my relationship with my own family. Maybe you'll find a way to get your dad and family to accept you, but that takes so much time and understanding. Remember, just because you understand them doesn't mean you have to agree with them. Take your time, there's no pressure. Stay safe and proud!
THIS IS BAD ADVICE considering SHE hasn’t even got a handle on her sexuality, how do expect her parents to? Unless they are abusive, she should stay, show she is the same person, open their minds. Running away creates more drama.
Or it can save her life. Those type of situations are touch and go. Different social parameters are at play here,(access,class,health,geography,laws and so on) There's no clear cut solutions, unless you can chat thoroughly with the kid. At the end of the day if she feels. She's in danger mentally or physically she should try and find a safe escape if possible.
Titito De Bologay you just disagreed then agreed with me. Key word is “if” based on the very little information given, it is her AND her parents coming to terms with who she is “if” there is more to it then she should get out of there IF.
I’m 16 yrs old and I came out to my family about being lesbian, and they got so mad at me..they said my friends put that lgbtq stuff into my head...when they never did, I learned who I am on my own...and every month I keep telling them I want them to accept me, but they are full on religious Christians...and I’m scared to be myself, and just want them to accept me...they keep telling me they will love me NO MATTER WHAT but now I’m starting to think that it’s a lie....and when I talk to my dad about my feelings and who I am..he doesn’t listen, he just cuts me off and gets angry at me...and I don’t know what to do...and one time I became so scared of him and he yelled at me to get up when I was sitting in the corner of the room while he towers over me...and he grabbed my arm and tried dragging me to get up and I yelled NO to him...and ran away from him to the downstairs room into the corner of the living room and he just looked at me in disappointment from a distance....Please help me...I only have 2 people who completely accept me and support me....I need help getting the love and support I need from my family...and my Father...please.
hi, I know I am a little late but what I would say is find people that support you and more importantly support yourself! The truth is you might not get love for your parents. It's sad but true. If your father does anything to harm you CALL THE POLICE. I hope you find peace!
@Exotistical I’m scared too. I’m bi and I came out to my friend a year ago but not my parents yet. I’m so scared to. Because I’m the car she asked me if my friend was still questioning her sexuality. And I told her idk because it’s non of her business. And she told me “no gay shit is gonna happen in my house, so don’t ever think of coming out to me”. Now idk what to do.
Just move out when you get older gun there’s no point in continuing the conversation. Every time they bring it up ignore it they’ll get the picture. Religious people don’t understand that YOU as their kid are their legacy and if they don’t treat YOU right when they get old they’ll be in a nursing home. Karma always comes around no matter the religion. God don’t like ugly.
@@june93662 just don’t it’s a waste of your time and they’ll never change because they’re not as intelligent as you. You understand yourself, don’t let people gaslight you any different.
@@HeyoitsJay my girlfriend told me that she believes that my family does gaslight me, into thinking I have to do this or that as they say, even though I have my own life now that I'm an adult and that I am allowed to celebrate and do what I want to do
Completely understand the importance of removing yourself from a shitty/unsupportive environment - however I would also to say before making such a big & scary decision (esp. if young!) try to guage whether or not your parents’ level of homophobia is something that can be worked on and unlearned with some time. My parents were incredibly homophobic for a pretty significant while but I wasn’t majorly ready to start life on my own so I decided to just stick it out. Now a couple of years later, they’ve completely changed and come around and are the most supportive ever and I’m glad I gave them that time. Obviously not everyone will be this lucky so definitely put yourself first and do what’s right for you and your specific situation, but think it over carefully.
I really like this strategy when it works! Do you have any advice on getting them to learn? My dad seems alright with it sometimes but isn’t interested in the lgbtq community as I am, and my mom just doesn’t like talking about it at all 😔
Just realized this was 3 years ago xD
Well I have plan for some people it might sound a bit toxic but still my plan is that once I bought my own place and move out of my parents house I will come out to them this way even if they dont accept me I will still have a place to stay at
That's not toxic, it's just keeping yourself safe!!!
Its not toxic! Its a good way in my opinion.
yes that what im gonna do
That's literally my plan rn
Leaving your parents is a feeling I want to feel
The fact people have to move out of their own house just to be safe is absolutely mortyfying
its truly insane
i had to do that
Oftentimes it's psychological safety. I feel like I needed to do it, but I look at people who were never forced to be different from their families and I wonder if I would be like them if I wasn't gay.
At 18 it's really difficult to be independent. Probably he/she is still in high school
I am 13 and and going into 8th grade, I came out to my mom as bi when I was in 6th grade. I came out to her as lesbian in January 2021 and was not accepted. I have been gender fluid since 5th grade, my mom recently forced me to come out to her about being gender fluid and she said "not in my house." I also came out to my father and he said "no that doesn't exist". The only people in my family that support me are my sister, and great aunt. My parents are split, they have been since I was 4. I am constantly being mentally abused. My parents blame my friends for me being this way. My mom is consensually calling me mean names. I don't know what to do, I am on the edge right now. I have asked to see a therapist but I was denied. I need help and I need to leave, I can't take much more. I have 5 reasons I am not dead, my sister(11), baby brother(5), my friends, girlfriend, and pets. Please give me some tips, I need help.
I know it's hard but live for what you're living for, and detach yourself from your parents. If they can't accept you, then they aren't family; they don't need to be a part of your journey. You've got a long way to go, immerse yourself in other things like education to take your mind off of things and focus on yourself, love yourself and nurture yourself as you wish your parents would. Stay strong, i know it's hard but hang in there. Maybe even consider getting an apartment or living with your gf, if possible. Coping strategies, you can find online, help too.
We get to choose our family-not biologically, but in the ways people treat us. No matter what they’re saying to you, you are not the problem. Make sure your sister and aunt know how much their acceptance helps you. You deserve to exist and to find happiness and fulfillment in life. You matter. You aren’t the first person to live through this struggle, but you can. Someday you’ll look back with thick skin and a generous heart, more capable of understanding and compassion than your parents choose to be. That is progress.
I find it helpful to focus on my education and physical fitness simply to spite the homophobes. Kind of like, “I’m going to be successful and happy, and you can’t do anything about it, SO THERE.” If your parents understood happiness and love, they might still be together, right? So take their nonsense with several grains of salt and PLAN to have your own life. You have family around the globe cheering for you!
Hey :) I hope you're alright. I'm so sorry to hear what you have to go through. Maybe you can find a way to live with your aunt instead of living with your parents, because obviously they're treating you very bad. Just know that you are valid and loved❤️🏳️🌈✨ we're here for you, you are not alone
I told my mom I was bisexual at age 11 a couple months ago and my mom said I was joking so every time something comes up she said "that's all they show is gay people!" That actually really hurt and I wish she wouldn't say that but she does :(
So, I'm a minute in and I don't know the presenters at all, but saying "cut yourself off from everything you've ever known and your entire support system because it's toxic and you're 19" is a super privileged position to take. Queer teens and young adults are starving and getting murdered on the street because they have been forcibly cut off from their homophobic support systems.
I'm not saying I would have an answer for this person, but the glibness that the presenter had with their answer was just all sorts of wrong.
Okay, the second person sort of acknowledged the different limitations that people in different parts of the world might face, but still...
@@rayasunshine8360 Yeah, for real! I want to get out of my house but I'm completely dependent on my parents for money and studies. The least I can do is being more open about my identity online and with friends at uni. This sucks!
When i said to my homophobic mum im lesbian she said-you mean u like girls? i said yes and she said-Yea its normal to like girls as friends! And then i guess im just gonna wait till im 18 and then imma tell them and leave
I’m 21 and came out to my mom, brother, grandparents and Cousin about being bisexual. The ONLY ones who show me they are loving and care are my cousin… my brother did but he doesn’t understand . My mom and grandparents ignore me. Keep telling me it’s a phase. I can’t move right now due to Covid
Am I the only one when A homophobic/Transphobic family member tells everyone she's supportive of my sexuality but then as soon as you get home automatically told to shut the F up and get misgendered and told its phase and my relationships are fake?. does anyone deal with this bs cause this tiring af T.T
YESS OMGGG they claim to not be homophobic but once it's you who is homosexual it's not normal, you're confused, it's just a phase, ect. It really is tiring
Last nite my trans ftm friend was over, I'm bisexual. Dad avoided us the entire time. Later on he stormed into my room drunk, demanding to know who "it" was and what is "it" to my friend.
He wouldn't speak to my friend and kept demanding answers about what I am doing, who said I could have a friend over etc.
Insinuating I was dating "it".
I'm 24...
When I was 10 I came out to my mom as bi (even though I thought I was lesbian back then because it was easier to just say bi) I’m now 13 and my mom never took my coming out seriously because i was “too young to know” which is such bullshit I identify as pansexual rn but I really am not planning to come out until I’m in my twenties because my mom and older sister are extremely homophobic and I feel like I would just get kicked out or hated in this family even more if I were to come out (just dumping in the comments section because i need an outlet because i was crying about this earlier) 🫶🏼
What gender i want to marry: female
what my parents think an gonna marry: boy
Okay, at first I was just putting it up to my ear so my family wouldn't hear, so I wasn't looking at the screen, and I was so confused when he said I might be lesbian but then I realized that he was reading off of a card.
I need to know if you get kicked out at 7-16 what would you do
I don't know
I don't know what i would do
I'd call anyone that's supportive, from friends to family.
I'd just pack my things, get out, and support myself. I'd probably be roommates with my friends if I could.
Get your resources now. I have a friend that will let me stay with her, my dad and my aunt. Have a back up plan babe.
It’s better off for ppl who be chill and don’t take things to heart of the situation will escalate
I’m gender questioning
Bisexual (heavy female pref)
My parents are homophobic and transphobic
I’m only 13.
Only my sisters support.
I’m 13 and I’m lesbian my parents are very homophobic and really right winged and I’m afraid of what they will do if they find out
I'm currently 13 and I think I'm lesbian and I don't know what to do because my entire family is very homo phobic and my mom caught me listing to a lesbian song and she said "what the hell is this you better not be gay" and my sister and a phew friends know but I don't know what to do what do you think I should do?
I’m 13 and have homophobic parents. Wtf do i do? They don’t know I have a gf 😢
im julia and im 10 i think im lesbian and i live with homophobic grandparents what should i do? im in a situation where i dont know what to do i know yall are probably gonna say "your to young to know that" but thats fine because thats what my mom said when i tried to come out to her she said im to young to know that but i think i like a girl my age . what should i do???
Can someone give me some advise I am 13 and just recently figured out I’m lesbian I want to tell my parents but they are super homophobic so much that they would probably disown me if I told them for now only 3 of my friends, my cousin, and my sister know
I haven’t come out yet and i have a gf rn
im 13 , ive known im lesbian since i was roughly 10 now but i have a girlfriend and want to come out but my mother is homophobic
I'm 12 years old im 6th grade and found out that I'm bi and want to come out to my dad but he's homophobic
Repressing your identity is awful and you don't need to do that, but your overall safety comes first. If you don't feel safe coming out, then don't. Just don't neglect expressing and exploring your identity. Try finding different ways to be yourself, online or in communities near you. Depends on which one's easier. In time, you'll understand if it's actually worth to come out to your dad. At 12 years old it's understandable you care so much about your family and wanting them to accept you. But as you grow up, your life expands to fit more people. I'm not saying it's meant to happen, but you don't need to come out to them if you feel like you can just separate yourself from people who you know won't accept you as who you are, if that includes them. At least that's what I personally think about my relationship with my own family. Maybe you'll find a way to get your dad and family to accept you, but that takes so much time and understanding. Remember, just because you understand them doesn't mean you have to agree with them. Take your time, there's no pressure. Stay safe and proud!
You can’t just move out at 19 though. If the asker could do that, they would have done it
I have nobody in real almost everyone is homophobic i don’t think I know anyone who is not homophobic in real life so I’m just hiding it.
THIS IS BAD ADVICE considering SHE hasn’t even got a handle on her sexuality, how do expect her parents to? Unless they are abusive, she should stay, show she is the same person, open their minds. Running away creates more drama.
Or it can save her life. Those type of situations are touch and go. Different social parameters are at play here,(access,class,health,geography,laws and so on) There's no clear cut solutions, unless you can chat thoroughly with the kid. At the end of the day if she feels. She's in danger mentally or physically she should try and find a safe escape if possible.
Titito De Bologay you just disagreed then agreed with me. Key word is “if” based on the very little information given, it is her AND her parents coming to terms with who she is “if” there is more to it then she should get out of there IF.
Why would you want to live with someone that CANT ACCEPT YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE.
@@colleen5215 why wouldnt you give the people who care about you the most the opportunity to adapt?
@@cianareid5034 I understand you. But most homophobic parents don't adapt and sometimes they abuse themm
First