Like... Don't get me wrong, I'm super happy that younger people are getting to figure themselves out these days. But what was I gonna do with this information back in the 1990s in the US Mid-West? It's a miracle I found my way out of the epic level of repression I had myself in.
@@Major-DoMo ikr?? Really makes me realize how much better my body runs on E. My whole hormonal / physiological system was outta whack and it just felt weirdddd
@ I’ll happily sacrifice my learned motor skills all over again for how much better I feel now. Everything does just feel right. Also, can the lady at my thaifood restaurant stop asking me to open jars 😂 I’ve run out of new ways to show her how to use random objects in assist… i get it, I can’t open them by hand anymore
I also noticed I started working out so much more than before HRT. Honestly, it isn't wven HRT itself, but seeing myself getting stronger through the lenses of me being a woman just seems actively appealing, while being a buff guy felt so so offputting. Honestly, I'm probably the most muscular I've ever been, even with T suppression and all, just from the fact I found an incentive to eat more, to work out more and more regularly, and to like the changes that brings me
I got a massive boost in drive when I realized I was now working towards the body I fit into and not the body that was making my brain sore all the time. I've lost 15KG in the last 5 months since I started HRT and am now exercising daily. Started actually caring for my skin and hair properly. So much small change because of a fresh outlook.
That so good dude... For your health and confidence, as well as how other people perceive you. Now that your body is running primarily on E, don't fear accidentally looking ripped or masc... it's not gonna happen. What will happen is that you will be strong, confident and able to protect yourself. But E-havers also lose muscle easily... make it part of your life routines to lift for maintenance. E is anabolic too... just difffernelty from T. E is the STAMINA and RECOVERY hormone... you will learn this.
Something I never expected was my change in fashion sense, or even that I had one at all. Always hated clothing shopping, but after HRT, I suddenly am a punk dommy mommy
I feel that! I'm still not that fashionable, but I care a lot more about style, aesthetic, and buying stuff is fun and interesting instead of a chore C:
@@BellaMirelli I'm actually torn between traditional goth and bubblegum goth! White fishnets and pastel corsets are just so cool... But my favorite colors are dark red and black... Choices... And I just started transitioning in August!
@Gothicsilencer that's so real. At the start I really wished I could go more into the punk aesthetic with a little bit of goth and that was my baby trans days, and i definitely had some cringe fits, and then at some point I just turned to the wine mom aesthetic. Tbh, I think it started with cardigans. I started wearing a ton of those and then I was sucked into the whole simple, comfy, and stylish sort of thing
Im a much older trans person, and I started to watch this video "with skepticism" as i often do. I found a parallel with everything you talked about. You have a really refreshing and down to earth personality. Im a fan now and keep the content coming.
I think you made a good point about the fight or flight. I definitely feel a lot less aware of my surroundings since getting to a point in my transition that I pass 80% of the time. To the point that I get ma'am'd even when I'm trying to "boy mode" and I'm in my work attire. Since I'm not so hyperaware of my body because I'm comfy in it, I am very relaxed. Sometimes it scare me, but it's nice to not be so on edge all the time.
One change I didn’t expect so fast was going from flat to a C cup in 4 months, I’m only four months in it’s wild. Also noticing my fashion has changed almost like I finally wear so much more black, reds, bolder colours and so much more jewellery, chokers.
@ thank you! It hurts… all the time! 😂 also after watching your whole video through, I have weirdly become worse at driving and my sense of direction has started to get worse too and it definitely feels like it’s because I’m not in flight or fight constantly anymore.
I unfortuantely used a lot of opposite face filters pretransition and it gave me bad expectations. About to hit 2 years and im finally happy with who i see in the mirror.
Hey hey! Just wanted to let you know that I found your channel from that transition update video. I seriously connected with your story and subscribed then. Not that politics aren’t interesting or important but I just wanted you to know that the subscriber increase you had is definitely because of your vibe! I’m on HRT too, & mtf / enby but lean more masc, and seeing someone who I can relate to is awesome especially since there are not many of us out there 😭❤️
Awh well thank you so much! I really appreciate you ;-; Yah I'm happy to provide some enby representation C: even if I struggle with feeling "not genderqueer enough" in my presentation if that makes sense. Something I just have to get over C:
Leah you look beautiful as a woman. I really like hearing your transition stories. I am not into news and politics videos but I will watch them and give you a thumbs up in every video you make. Great job as a content creator.
Clothing and fashion stuff is probably the biggest surprise to me; my sense of style has definitely shifted a fair amount - it's more colorful and with more interesting patterns (sometimes to the point of being a little too 'busy'). It definitely takes me longer to figure out what I feel like wearing on any given day. And where at the start of HRT I was prioritizing tighter fitting shirts to 'feel' more femme, now I'm settling (back, in a way I suppose) into looser, more flowing stuff. It just feels cuter, I guess. I'm finding I utter the words 'I feel cute in this' a lot more lately, and that's a wonderful feeling. Granted, part of the 'busy' patterns is because 95% of my femme clothes are things just offered to me by my mother in law... so I'm still a bit limited and definitely figuring out my new sense of style. But gone is the primarily black vibe of my masc clothing for sure. Not-so-positive thing - my already crappy joints have definitely been getting worse. Another good reason to start working out and strengthening things though, right? Anyway, I hear you on the name change thing. I hadn't really considered it until my nestmate pointed out that they've been seeing me more by the name I would take lately (if/when I might choose to), and that's gotten me thinking more about it for sure. Enough so that I'm strongly considering doing a trial run with said name among people I trust to take the request seriously, and see how it feels. For context - I know I like the name; it's a part of the name I've been going by for streaming for three years now. But up until pretty recently, it's remained a bit compartmentalized - that's streaming me, and my birth name is the rest of time me. But that gap has definitely been shrinking for sure.
Really got me in the feels with the protector part, just surviving through layers of masc'ing til I could finally take full possession of my self and be myself, so true.
Ive got a few myself. Im 37. I stsrted social transition almost 8 years ago. Medical just over 3 years ago. So ive been at it a while. Some of these unexpected things really threw me 1) i never though passing would be an option. Im big, i have prom8nent masc features. So when i say that it was unexpected, i mean it. It snuck up on me hard. Ill still need FFS to make it more consistent. In this came a huge lesson. Start voicework as soon as possible if you think oassing is something you are going to be interested in. Because it will sneak up on you. 2) large boobs can actually suck. Like alot relative to my frame, mine arent that big, but st the dametime they sre big. Ive had to git rid of s lot of really nice clothes because they woildnt accomodate my boobs. A lot of trans femme folks want tbig breasts. No what you want is appropriately proportioned ones. 3) i really like having muscle now. Who knew. Once the body dysphoria started subsiding, oh muscles are fun, lets get those. 4) neber expected to want surgeries. Hrt reduced other dysphoria so much that suddenly i cery much needed a couple. Its amazing whats hiding 7nderneath the initial layers of dysphoria 5) speaking of things hiding. Hhhhoooooolllllyyyy crap do i have a lot of unreaolved trauma. Spent so much time dissociating due to dysphoria that i was completely disconnected from it. I was agreesively dusabused of the notion that i d8dnt yave any about a year and a half into hrt 6) didnt expect to be nearly as happy as i sm eoth it all. Its been sooooo ssooooo wonderful. I wouldnt trade my transition for anything.
I'm 7 months ahead of you in HRT, started at 34, and girl, you ain't seen nothing yet. Trans women tell us that the big changes start in the second year, and they're not kidding. My face is changing in almost real time, I get pseudo-periods now, my limbs are shrinking, and I think my hips might be growing. That said, I'm only just committing to social transition. This is my first week out at work; I didn't plan the timing relative to the election, I just hate my old clothes and need to start switching my wardrobe. I also just got a raise so I have money spend on real human clothes. My body hair was itchy, and made my DPDR worse because my sense of touch was distorted. I felt static everywhere all the time, and the itching from body hair made it worse. Now my body hair is mostly blanched and thinned, but I still remove weekly. I chose a new name almost immediately after I accepted being trans, and now I'm using it in the wild. I'm much better at my job since I started HRT. I have a lot more brain power to use on stuff other than survival. I was ace when I started HRT. Then 6 months in I developed a libido for the first time and discovered women. And then two months later I started noticing men. It took me 8 months to accept being bi. I still prefer women, but later in transition, after bottom surgery, I want to try dating men. My transition goal is Christina Hendricks. I'm getting a BA next summer.
Yeah I'm still so early in transition, I'm sure I'll have even more stuff I don't see coming later down the road C: it's kinda beautiful how long and nonlinear of a process transition is. Getting better at your job is neat, I kinda feel that, but also I feel like people take me less seriously bc I'm a girl so people just don't listen when I speak now x-x ppl used to take me so seriously Thanks for sharing, I really appreciate it C:
Today is the 3 month mark of being on E and I’ve had a few things that’ve surprised me too. Recently I’ve found a few masculine men attractive where I used to only find feminine men and pretty much all women and enby’s attractive. Pre-hrt I thought I might be gender-fluid then mtf, but after being on feminizing hormones I’ve realized that I’m actually agender, but would still like to be more fem presenting. Realizing that I’m agender though has really helped with facial hair dysphoria for me. Lastly, the want for being a “muscle mommy” is the realest thing. Wasn’t interested pre-hormones, but now…lol
Omg. What you explained at 15 mins is whats been happening to me my entire life!!!! I felt the same way omg gonna cry now. I'm coming out and its been hard and beautiful at once. I'm talking to my counselor Tomorrow I'm gonaa shownher that part to help explain whay I've been through. Thank you for supporting me even though we never met. Xoxo
How are you so confident with low subscribers? Honestly it's really cool to watch and I ask to understand more if you do. Definitely got my subscription
Thank you! Honestly the confidence comes from life experience and it's also just part of my personality. I don't need a ton of subs to "prove" I'm smart or funny or something. I appreciate ur support!
As someone who is 46 and only just coming out as a trans woman I look forward to the positive parts of the experience. Though I really wish my brain had let me come out before the election so things didn't feel so chaotic looking at the future. xD
Awhhh I wish you the best of luck with your transition!! There's never a good or perfect time to come out, tbh, so try not to sweat it too much, we will get thru this!
Muscle mommy reporting in! I was a 280 pound fat man prior to starting transition and very much hated my body. While it still would have been my preference to have transitioned to a cute sexy little girl, my close second-place and somewhere I can actually achieve is to be a cosplay muscle MILF who can hopefully pull off "cute yet threatening". I'm in my mid-40s, I've been on the juice for almost five years, but as far as I'm concerned it's never too late. Re: working out -- the goal in working out is to be able to get to your next workout. If you push too hard and can't get to that next workout, then you've foiled your ability to keep moving forward. (Subscribed!)
Thanks for the sub! Love to hear that you've been enjoying being a muscle milf lol. Also that's a good point! I'm gonna be prepared for my next workout instead of being too sore or destroyed to do it
Getting transitioning information/vlogs and news information all in one place, I’m in. From one trans woman to another, keep up the good work. You got this, remember, you’re not obligated to take shit from anyone.
i relate SO HARD to being in a state of hypervigalence. i didn’t fully realize how difficult it was until i started transitioning. still have this experience (i’m very early in transition) but i feel way more aware of it now.
I loved what you said about gender envy being confused for "attraction"! It must have been so weird for all my girl loves in my life so far...but for me, i find that i'm just as sapphic as i ever was. I am attracted to the feminine in a person, although a balance or acknowledgement or (gasp) even celebration of your "other binary" really does it for me.
Heyy I just turned 31 in June, been on hrt for a little over 6 months, socially transitioning for about 18 months, and I guess the algorithm just figured it was meant to be
@@BlightningBrightling thanks for sharing C: glad the algorithm brought you to my channel!! I'm happy you related so much to stuffs I said 😊 I've thought about it. I'm relatively certain I'm ADHD autistic but I've never really had the tests done to verify it.
OHHHH MY GOASAHHHH As a younger girlie myself (realized at 16, am 18 now) THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SAYING BODY HAIR GETS BETTER I'm also Italian right, and I HATE the swarms of that black gunk over my body, when you said that it feels like an alien parasite, oh my GOD I felt that, I have told myself and my friends that so muchhh!!! Also, I'm so terrified of age, I'm scared I'll look horrible at 30/40 or that I'll he scared of my transness and be a guy again :( But seeing you so pretty at 31, that gives me hope, so much hope Thank you so much, I was an immediate sub at your big election video, and now I know I'll watch regularly 💜
This is such a lovely comment, congrats on finding yourself at your age!! You have so much time ahead of you to be your authentic self. Amazing 💖 Also, thank you. I started taking collagen supplements recently but yah i think a lot of it has to do with spending a bunch of time indoors playing video games lol Wear sunscreen, drink plenty of water, and and take care of yourself. You'll be fine C: once you transition, you'll age according to your hormone profile. You'll look like a mature woman, a beautiful one too I bet! 30s and 40s are not old or past prime, they ARE the prime years. Even the 50s are still prime. 18-29 is very young lol you got dis!
One thing you didn't mention Leah. For many trans girls, especially like me who were small skinny boys to begin with, you notice a huge drop in physical safety. I lost 30% of my chest/arm muscles and am 59kg/165cm (130pounds and 5ft5). When I date big muscly guys, I tell a friend where I'm going, what time, and send a photo of him. I hold my keys in my fingers late at night when I walk home from the train station. This never crossed my mind as a boy.
Yeah you're right, same. I'm incredibly weak compared to what I used to be, and that is a safety issue. I didn't talk about it bc I actually plan on making a video bout things I think aren't talked about enough (self defense being one). Thanks for your comment, this is important to discuss! Some girlies might not even consider it
@LeahPassaniti it is something we took for granted in T-filled life. Even as a short, lean boy, I could easily handle myself and not feel stressed. Now, even a mid-strength, half fit guy could rape or abduct me very easily. It's extremely unlikely, but it went from 0% in my mind, to now some number that is no longer 0%.
I smiled when you talked about attraction/gender envy of women, because that's me. Sometimes I see a women and I'm attracted to them in the sense of I wanna be you, while other times is I wanna be with you. And figuring out the distinction was a journey. (A silly example, I wanna be Vi from Arcana, I wanna be with Cait) I remember playing The Sims, and creating me as the het-cis man, then I would create my "perfect woman" as wife, that had nothing to do with the women I'm sexually attracted to, but now I realize it's the woman I wish I could be. Today I consider myself non-binary, currently I have no wish/need to transition beyond playing with my gender presentation, wearing makeup, nails, etc.
This was interesting to read, thank you for sharing ! C: Gender envy can seriously be so confusing. I think it should be talked about more, as a young person I just simply had no idea how to distinguish between envy and attraction.
Very interesting video, thanks for sharing! It made me realize one of the biggest things I didn’t see coming. I got the chance to finally deconstruct what I had from growing up in a shaving/waxing culture. I’m FtM, and was hairy in some areas (lower legs, arms) but not in others (funny enough the armpits, despite my Italian heritage). On the first 6 months of transition I got tons of body hair, and I would trim it, whereas now (10 months in), it can trigger disforia if I trim it “too much”. I thought I had deconstructed stuff when I moved to Canada (people don’t give a 💩 about body hair where I live), but turns out I waxed/trimmed for reasons other than just a personal preference. I’m at peace and very much enjoying my body hair now!
Im now a bit more anxious after letting go of the protective shell, but I am confident that that will faye over time as I get more used to be fem in public.
I can relate to that. It feels very vulnerable and scary to be out and open and presenting how you want. It definitely does get easier with time, I believe in u! 💞
a good thing about having a bit of extra weight in the first years of transition is increased breast growth. at least i believe that having some extra fat for hrt to move around helps vs. being underweight. i’m a distance runner and have made sure to eat plenty as i build the best looking a** i have ever had and am at tanner stage 5 after a year and a half. hoping for full c’s by the end of two years 🤞 ❤
Praying to the boob gods! That's very true. I feel like I've had a lot of fat redistribution and eating a lot early in transition is for sure something I would recommend. Gotta have nutrients for all the changes!
@ i’m trying to not think about the election and watching your transition videos is helping 💕 i voted this morning (i live in indiana) and it was a lot of camo, mesh back, and high and tight haircuts in the line. scary! i have never seen so many young people voting before.
The doing things worse thing kinda reminds me about a person who discovered they were autistic and as they began working on unmasking they also were worse at many things. Cant remember where I heard about that though
I'm trans masc (genderfluid/enby), so for me a lot of my experiences are probably opposite of yours. The whole time I was growing up, I always felt like there wasn't enough hair on my body. You know how you feel the first time you see a hairless cat or dog? That feeling, except all the time and every time I look in the mirror. My dysphoria around my lack of body hair always kind of made me feel like I must be dying or something. I guess, I just had this deep seeded health fear that the lack of hair on my body meant I was sick or something even though it was a completely normal amount of hair for a female body. I'm am currently unable to get on HRT due to accessibility issues from living in a red state, but I would love to do so. I wonder if my dysphoria around my body hair would also ease after a while on HRT. I want to change my name. I always hated my given name anyways, so I think it would be a relief to change it to a name more suitable to how I want to be perceived. Although, I do wish to keep aspects like the first half of my given name as part of my new name because it will allow me to keep the loving nicknames that people have given me. I also thought about not changing it due to being a people pleaser, but then I realized that it's my name. I'm the one that has to live with that name every day, so it should be my choice. Just like my gender is mine, and no one can tell me I can't express how I want to express. I felt extreme gender envy toward feminine gay men oddly enough. I'm omnisexual, so I feel attraction to everyone especially towards their gender expression. For the longest time, I thought my gender envy towards feminine gay men was intense sexual attraction and a cruel joke that my brain had decided to play on me because this was before I realized I was trans. I thought, "Well this sucks. I feel intense attraction towards men who literally wouldn't touch me with a 10-foot pole." Now I realize I don't want to just be with them, I want to BE them. lol I am also the most out of shape I've ever been in my entire life, and I also want to be super muscular even though I never had any desire to work out beyond running and swimming when I was younger. I didn't realize I wanted this until I realized I am trans. Now I wish I had my own person gym to work out in every single day. Although, due to health reasons and not having money, I have neither of those options. 😢 If I could do push ups, I would just do them ALL the time. After realizing I was trans, I suddenly wish I could bench 200 pounds even though I've never done weight lifting a day in my life. It's like a whole new world has opened up for me when initially I had written off doing muscle workouts because, "I'm a girl, and girls aren't supposed to do that." Being sexist towards myself apparently. If anyone read this entire comment, I just want to thank you for taking the time out of your day. You are greatly appreciated. I also just want to thank you for this video. After all the doom and gloom after the election, finding your channel and watching this video has really helped me to relax. Keep up the great content. 💜
Thank you so much! I appreciate your comment and yes, I read the whole thing. It's really important for me to hear and understand the FTM or transmasc experience. It's so interesting how it's the same, but different entirely. I love that people who have such contradictory feelings about certain things can see each other as totally valid. Neat as heck. Stay safe out there!
Thank you for your inciteful presentation! And thank the algorithm gods for sending it to me! 🤪 It is great to hear about other people's transition experience. I relate to much of what you describe, and find the parts that are different super interesting. I am 69 and started transition less than one year ago. So much of my life that was confusing began to make sense since my egg cracked. 😀 Now I want to explore your other content, but please keep making the trans related videos!
I hope you enjoy the rest of my content, and huge congratulations on finding yourself and having the courage to take the journey ☺️ that's so beautiful, wishing you so much joy and peace 💖 I'll for sure make more transition content dw!
I started hrt 1 year before I shaved my denial beard and came out. Everyone was like "are you gonna start hormones soon?" I would just laugh and grab my boobs and say "yeah got these puppies about 6 months ago" I get some wierd looks.
Thanks for sharing! That's definitely something I've heard of people doing. Starting hrt well before beginning social transition. C: Glad it worked out well for you. Stay safe out there!
I think you are comfortable with body hair because your beard has been lasered and doesn't really show up (yes I realise you have make up on too). I'm only 4 months in and my shadow is rough after 1.5days. I also have male pattern baldness (like no hair left) so I wear wigs. My beard shadow is the last thing that still freaks me out. My look is 75% worse (in my eyes) if I don't shave every 1-2 days. Admittedly it's way better now that my hair grows really slowly, but still, it freaks me out.
Oh yeah, laser was definitely necessary for me. I hated /hate my facial hair. I still have to shave every day, but yes my shadow is nearly gone except in smaller areas. Hope ur able to get urs taken care of eventually!
@LeahPassaniti Yeah, I'm only starting (4months) so I realise patience is my friend here. Thanks for your encouragement and for sharing your story. I feel a little less freakish and alone 🥰. I wish you success in your online and life adventures.
As an afab feminine presenting person I’ve never perceived my body hair as masculine. All humans have body hair it’s so weird that women are expected to be hairless, something that indicates that an individual is pre-pubescent
ive been transitioning for two years and im still painfully aware of my existience and almost never feel relaxed but i think its at the dread that this body is mine
@LeahPassaniti what's strange is that i relate to the feeling of not being bothered by body hair and not really having dysphoria at all anymore idk maybe its cuz im a tomboy but im always on edge and its frustrating
Hi! I'd following you for a while on either Bluesky or Threads simply because you seemed like a nice person and I'm a simple bean, I see another trans person who seems nice, I follow.. then here's your face in the recommended videos! 😅
@@LeahPassaniti So apparently i wasn't following on Treads, I was being shown your content so regularly I thought i was. D'oh. Fixed. But yeah, I was like that pre transition with body hair. Now I only shave my chest when the few spikey bits get irritating against underwear. I just went with the feminine alt of my given names. Felt right. And my anxiety over random stuff and multiple arguments over weird stuff in my head ceased as soon as I started running on oestrogen. It was weird. Haven't got the clumsies yet. A couple of my ... seasoned ... trans friends are clumsy AF, so it's real. Since I've only been treated for 4 months maybe I'll start falling over soon 🤣
About 1 week into hrt I bit into an apple and it just tasted so good. The flavor was so much more intense and the sweetness was stronger. At first I thought it was just the apple but before long realized all food tasted better. Estrogen literally made food better. A year and five months later and I'm still amazed. Also I'm going to vote in about 2 hours.
Thank you for voting! Ur awesome C: This has been really pronounced w smells for me. Smells are soooo much stronger and I'm so much more sensitive to them. Taste is definitely more intense too! It's really interesting!
It's great that your story has gotten you out there more - that's how I came across your channel - but it also kinda sucks when you get boosted for a one-off video that isn't your main content because it incentivises you changing your content. Which is always lame because you're obviously passionate about what you begin with.
Yeahhhh and tbh, I felt like there were already some really great content creators talking bout transition stuffs. I didn't necessarily feel like I could add something interesting to the discourse but ppl have been apparently enjoying my transition videos! I will prolly try to find a way to make it work with doing both, but we shall seeee
Hey, tardy to this party, late bloomers... But overall absolutely worth the wait. I feel you on the body hair hatred, "aliens in the skin" is a good way to put it. Also, your voice is just immaculate 🖤 any advice or sources?
Not too tardy :p you're fine! People keep saying this, and I'm not gonna lie, I have a hard time understanding why! I did do voice training, I just used the popular UA-camrs as guides. I have a background in music and at one point wanted to be a voice actor so it wasn't all that challenging for me to approach. I could make a video bout it at some point!
I probably can't do three push ups either. I remember in school other boys saying I was weak like a girl. If they only knew. 🤣🤣I would love to see an eye makeup tutorial or some tips on voice because you sound great. 🥰🏳⚧
Sure I'd be willing to do a voice training video! I could do a makeup tutorial but fr, I'm not great at it lmao. I only really use concealer, mascara, and pencil liner..
1 year?! You're looking set! Must have good genetics. Literally wouldn't look twice IRL x You are so relatable, on the body hair dysphoria at least. Natty hairy women are sexy ❤ empowered squeee this whole dialogue is just 😌 i reckon bc ur so feminine in your manner, now you feel you have permission to relax into liking what you are not, ie opposite to how you are
Awh thank you so much for this comment. That's very sweet. And ur so right! Being able to be comfortable in my expression let's me explore things that might be seen as traditionally masculine, but it no longer bothers me! I'm a girl, but I wanna get really fit. I wanna be strong! Have a great one!
I lift... put it this way, you are never going to look like a roid taking greek statue. Muscle will help you so much. Confidence, body health, protection... u will be vibrant. edit: u say you got winded- U need to work on bulking, not being limited by cardio factors. Lift 5-10 reps, a weight which you are literally unable to lift past 12 reps, and no more than 3 sets per session. You want hypertrophy, not cardio workout. If u nail your technique, you will be set for a life of gains. Being BIG is an advantage. Don't eat less pls. Muscles use energy just by existing, ur weight will manage itself. Trust me, I do this passionately in my own life. My arms and legs are tree trunks now, and my bra size is bigger (i'm pretty big already) Not injuring your joints is your focus. if you injure something, u will hamper progress
All really sound advice! I don't think it's possible to look like a roid taking buff dude. What I meant is that's why I never worked out pretransition bec I was worried bout ending up all muscley. Not really an important concern bc, obv, wasn't on roids lol
@@LeahPassaniti I think I can appreciate that ... For me, I had the fear of 'looking manly/being viewed as less feminine' which impeded my staying ability. Also my body jacks up its production of stress hormones 24/7 when I did cardio exercise, which is abysmal for sleep. I can't exercise my way to good nights sleep. Muscle gain suits me more, apart from everything else! (ps it's GREAT for your skin. Softer... You don't get smelly or oily sweat!!!) Big support
@@LeahPassaniti Iv had so many cis women say there jealous of my hair and bob size, it's funny. I forget sometimes when I wave to a guy or something with a girl it's not the same anymore. A girl did a double take at me and him after I waved. lol
Everyone should go and get their body composition checked pre-transitioning and then do it every now and then. My gym does it every three months or so and they have a diet plan. I can ride bike until I bonk, meaning, my muscles fail or I start falling asleep. I do 7 push-ups every day. Italians are super body-conscious. We Europeans even cannot vote and Trump presidency would screw up things in so many ways in Europe as well. If conservatives see that putting megabucks to anti-trans ads is a winning strategy, then we would see the erosion of our rights as well.
This was a good video! Some of these things are things I hope to experience. However, you used probably more words than you needed to in order to convey most of your points, including 'and stuff like that'. This is intended as helpful feedback, I look forward to seeing what you do in the future
If you're on progesterone, the getting less attentive and worse at things could be a sign that your dose is a bit too high. Progesterone is a sedative in addition to its gendered features, and people on sedatives aren't exactly famous for being focused and coordinated.
Just saw "the palestine" on your background and I made sure UA-cam stops recommending your channel. For trans stuff I can find enough of other resources.
Lmao. If you support genocide I don't want you watching my content. Bye bye! I know like, almost all other trans content creators support Palestinians and their right to life and self determination.
Shout out to all of us 30+-year-olds figuring our shit out this late into the game.
Huge shout out 💖
Checking in. Just started HRT 6 weeks ago.
We may be a little slow but we still deserve to find happiness in ourselves❤️
Like... Don't get me wrong, I'm super happy that younger people are getting to figure themselves out these days. But what was I gonna do with this information back in the 1990s in the US Mid-West? It's a miracle I found my way out of the epic level of repression I had myself in.
30 is better than 60 lol
That hyper-vigilant mode is such a mood. 35 now and only recently figuring it out. Being relaxed and joyful now is sooo odd and really validating 😂
@@Major-DoMo ikr?? Really makes me realize how much better my body runs on E. My whole hormonal / physiological system was outta whack and it just felt weirdddd
@ I’ll happily sacrifice my learned motor skills all over again for how much better I feel now. Everything does just feel right. Also, can the lady at my thaifood restaurant stop asking me to open jars 😂 I’ve run out of new ways to show her how to use random objects in assist… i get it, I can’t open them by hand anymore
I also noticed I started working out so much more than before HRT. Honestly, it isn't wven HRT itself, but seeing myself getting stronger through the lenses of me being a woman just seems actively appealing, while being a buff guy felt so so offputting.
Honestly, I'm probably the most muscular I've ever been, even with T suppression and all, just from the fact I found an incentive to eat more, to work out more and more regularly, and to like the changes that brings me
Awh well that's so awesome and relatable! Thank u for commenting and sharing. I can't wait to have massive world ending thighs.
I got a massive boost in drive when I realized I was now working towards the body I fit into and not the body that was making my brain sore all the time. I've lost 15KG in the last 5 months since I started HRT and am now exercising daily. Started actually caring for my skin and hair properly. So much small change because of a fresh outlook.
That so good dude... For your health and confidence, as well as how other people perceive you. Now that your body is running primarily on E, don't fear accidentally looking ripped or masc... it's not gonna happen. What will happen is that you will be strong, confident and able to protect yourself. But E-havers also lose muscle easily... make it part of your life routines to lift for maintenance.
E is anabolic too... just difffernelty from T. E is the STAMINA and RECOVERY hormone... you will learn this.
I find the more feminine I get the more comfortable with being masculine I get.
TRUUUUU couldn't have said it better
This!
I've got a similar thing in reverse. Now that I'm on T, I'm not "allergic" to the color pink anymore. Because I feel safer in my masculinity.
I felt the body hair dysphoria thing _so_ much. HRT thinning it out helped a lot.
For sure! Something I never expected to make such a big difference
Same! I still have some days where it gets to me but over all it's so much easier to just ignore it or not care about it now.
Something I never expected was my change in fashion sense, or even that I had one at all. Always hated clothing shopping, but after HRT, I suddenly am a punk dommy mommy
I feel that! I'm still not that fashionable, but I care a lot more about style, aesthetic, and buying stuff is fun and interesting instead of a chore C:
Damn, are you me? I've just started transitioning and all the sudden I have... Opinions? Taste? It's honestly wild...
Lmao I actually was pastel goth before I started transitioning and now I'm a total wine mom with some punk tinges.
@@BellaMirelli I'm actually torn between traditional goth and bubblegum goth! White fishnets and pastel corsets are just so cool... But my favorite colors are dark red and black... Choices... And I just started transitioning in August!
@Gothicsilencer that's so real. At the start I really wished I could go more into the punk aesthetic with a little bit of goth and that was my baby trans days, and i definitely had some cringe fits, and then at some point I just turned to the wine mom aesthetic. Tbh, I think it started with cardigans. I started wearing a ton of those and then I was sucked into the whole simple, comfy, and stylish sort of thing
Im a much older trans person, and I started to watch this video "with skepticism" as i often do. I found a parallel with everything you talked about. You have a really refreshing and down to earth personality. Im a fan now and keep the content coming.
Ahhh that's so kind ;-; thank u for your support!!
I think you made a good point about the fight or flight. I definitely feel a lot less aware of my surroundings since getting to a point in my transition that I pass 80% of the time. To the point that I get ma'am'd even when I'm trying to "boy mode" and I'm in my work attire. Since I'm not so hyperaware of my body because I'm comfy in it, I am very relaxed. Sometimes it scare me, but it's nice to not be so on edge all the time.
It is nice to not be on edge all the time C: I feel like I can actually relax! And sleeping is so much easier and better
One change I didn’t expect so fast was going from flat to a C cup in 4 months, I’m only four months in it’s wild. Also noticing my fashion has changed almost like I finally wear so much more black, reds, bolder colours and so much more jewellery, chokers.
@@Countess1476 thanks for sharing C: that is some pretty fast breast growth!
@ thank you! It hurts… all the time! 😂 also after watching your whole video through, I have weirdly become worse at driving and my sense of direction has started to get worse too and it definitely feels like it’s because I’m not in flight or fight constantly anymore.
Thank you for being so honest and vulnerable. It's refreshing to hear, to someone who's 37 and just starting the journey.
@@Rizzlebeef happy to be here, thank you for watching and commenting!!
One thing I was not ready for during my transition, was the first gender confirmation I got from others being extremely negative..
@@alyssalovethedj im sorry to hear that :C
@@LeahPassaniti
What can I say?
They were treating me just like all the other women. Horribly.
I unfortuantely used a lot of opposite face filters pretransition and it gave me bad expectations. About to hit 2 years and im finally happy with who i see in the mirror.
I'm glad you're happy with your results, that's really good to hear ☺️
Hey hey! Just wanted to let you know that I found your channel from that transition update video. I seriously connected with your story and subscribed then. Not that politics aren’t interesting or important but I just wanted you to know that the subscriber increase you had is definitely because of your vibe! I’m on HRT too, & mtf / enby but lean more masc, and seeing someone who I can relate to is awesome especially since there are not many of us out there 😭❤️
Awh well thank you so much! I really appreciate you ;-;
Yah I'm happy to provide some enby representation C: even if I struggle with feeling "not genderqueer enough" in my presentation if that makes sense. Something I just have to get over C:
Leah you look beautiful as a woman. I really like hearing your transition stories. I am not into news and politics videos but I will watch them and give you a thumbs up in every video you make. Great job as a content creator.
Awh thank you so much! This means a lot to hear. C:
thank you for the video :) just when i needed it, just like the last one.
@@Nijonibi awhhh glad to hear it!!!
Clothing and fashion stuff is probably the biggest surprise to me; my sense of style has definitely shifted a fair amount - it's more colorful and with more interesting patterns (sometimes to the point of being a little too 'busy'). It definitely takes me longer to figure out what I feel like wearing on any given day. And where at the start of HRT I was prioritizing tighter fitting shirts to 'feel' more femme, now I'm settling (back, in a way I suppose) into looser, more flowing stuff. It just feels cuter, I guess. I'm finding I utter the words 'I feel cute in this' a lot more lately, and that's a wonderful feeling.
Granted, part of the 'busy' patterns is because 95% of my femme clothes are things just offered to me by my mother in law... so I'm still a bit limited and definitely figuring out my new sense of style. But gone is the primarily black vibe of my masc clothing for sure.
Not-so-positive thing - my already crappy joints have definitely been getting worse. Another good reason to start working out and strengthening things though, right?
Anyway, I hear you on the name change thing. I hadn't really considered it until my nestmate pointed out that they've been seeing me more by the name I would take lately (if/when I might choose to), and that's gotten me thinking more about it for sure. Enough so that I'm strongly considering doing a trial run with said name among people I trust to take the request seriously, and see how it feels. For context - I know I like the name; it's a part of the name I've been going by for streaming for three years now. But up until pretty recently, it's remained a bit compartmentalized - that's streaming me, and my birth name is the rest of time me. But that gap has definitely been shrinking for sure.
Thanks so much for sharing C: wish I had more time to reply but congrats on your journey so far
Really got me in the feels with the protector part, just surviving through layers of masc'ing til I could finally take full possession of my self and be myself, so true.
Awh I'm glad it spoke to you!! 😊
This was delightfully insightful, thank you for sharing your perspective.
I appreciate you
Ive got a few myself. Im 37. I stsrted social transition almost 8 years ago. Medical just over 3 years ago. So ive been at it a while. Some of these unexpected things really threw me
1) i never though passing would be an option. Im big, i have prom8nent masc features. So when i say that it was unexpected, i mean it. It snuck up on me hard. Ill still need FFS to make it more consistent. In this came a huge lesson. Start voicework as soon as possible if you think oassing is something you are going to be interested in. Because it will sneak up on you.
2) large boobs can actually suck. Like alot relative to my frame, mine arent that big, but st the dametime they sre big. Ive had to git rid of s lot of really nice clothes because they woildnt accomodate my boobs. A lot of trans femme folks want tbig breasts. No what you want is appropriately proportioned ones.
3) i really like having muscle now. Who knew. Once the body dysphoria started subsiding, oh muscles are fun, lets get those.
4) neber expected to want surgeries. Hrt reduced other dysphoria so much that suddenly i cery much needed a couple. Its amazing whats hiding 7nderneath the initial layers of dysphoria
5) speaking of things hiding. Hhhhoooooolllllyyyy crap do i have a lot of unreaolved trauma. Spent so much time dissociating due to dysphoria that i was completely disconnected from it. I was agreesively dusabused of the notion that i d8dnt yave any about a year and a half into hrt
6) didnt expect to be nearly as happy as i sm eoth it all. Its been sooooo ssooooo wonderful. I wouldnt trade my transition for anything.
Thank you for sharing!! It's great that transition has exceeded your expectations and that you're happy with how things are going, love that for you!!
I'm 7 months ahead of you in HRT, started at 34, and girl, you ain't seen nothing yet. Trans women tell us that the big changes start in the second year, and they're not kidding. My face is changing in almost real time, I get pseudo-periods now, my limbs are shrinking, and I think my hips might be growing.
That said, I'm only just committing to social transition. This is my first week out at work; I didn't plan the timing relative to the election, I just hate my old clothes and need to start switching my wardrobe. I also just got a raise so I have money spend on real human clothes.
My body hair was itchy, and made my DPDR worse because my sense of touch was distorted. I felt static everywhere all the time, and the itching from body hair made it worse. Now my body hair is mostly blanched and thinned, but I still remove weekly.
I chose a new name almost immediately after I accepted being trans, and now I'm using it in the wild.
I'm much better at my job since I started HRT. I have a lot more brain power to use on stuff other than survival.
I was ace when I started HRT. Then 6 months in I developed a libido for the first time and discovered women. And then two months later I started noticing men. It took me 8 months to accept being bi. I still prefer women, but later in transition, after bottom surgery, I want to try dating men.
My transition goal is Christina Hendricks. I'm getting a BA next summer.
Yeah I'm still so early in transition, I'm sure I'll have even more stuff I don't see coming later down the road C: it's kinda beautiful how long and nonlinear of a process transition is.
Getting better at your job is neat, I kinda feel that, but also I feel like people take me less seriously bc I'm a girl so people just don't listen when I speak now x-x ppl used to take me so seriously
Thanks for sharing, I really appreciate it C:
Today is the 3 month mark of being on E and I’ve had a few things that’ve surprised me too. Recently I’ve found a few masculine men attractive where I used to only find feminine men and pretty much all women and enby’s attractive. Pre-hrt I thought I might be gender-fluid then mtf, but after being on feminizing hormones I’ve realized that I’m actually agender, but would still like to be more fem presenting. Realizing that I’m agender though has really helped with facial hair dysphoria for me. Lastly, the want for being a “muscle mommy” is the realest thing. Wasn’t interested pre-hormones, but now…lol
Glad u found some of what I talked about relatable C: thanks for sharing btw!
Omg. What you explained at 15 mins is whats been happening to me my entire life!!!! I felt the same way omg gonna cry now. I'm coming out and its been hard and beautiful at once. I'm talking to my counselor Tomorrow I'm gonaa shownher that part to help explain whay I've been through. Thank you for supporting me even though we never met. Xoxo
I'm so happy I was able to make a positive impact. Congratulations on starting ur journey and I wish you much joy, peace, and love!
Representation and visibility are SO important, now more than ever.
Yes yes yes!
How are you so confident with low subscribers? Honestly it's really cool to watch and I ask to understand more if you do. Definitely got my subscription
Thank you! Honestly the confidence comes from life experience and it's also just part of my personality. I don't need a ton of subs to "prove" I'm smart or funny or something.
I appreciate ur support!
Lol what does subscribers have to do with confidence? 😂
As someone who is 46 and only just coming out as a trans woman I look forward to the positive parts of the experience. Though I really wish my brain had let me come out before the election so things didn't feel so chaotic looking at the future. xD
Awhhh I wish you the best of luck with your transition!! There's never a good or perfect time to come out, tbh, so try not to sweat it too much, we will get thru this!
@@LeahPassaniti Thank you! And yeah, there probably isn't a perfect time... This is just my anxiety talking. xD
Muscle mommy reporting in! I was a 280 pound fat man prior to starting transition and very much hated my body. While it still would have been my preference to have transitioned to a cute sexy little girl, my close second-place and somewhere I can actually achieve is to be a cosplay muscle MILF who can hopefully pull off "cute yet threatening".
I'm in my mid-40s, I've been on the juice for almost five years, but as far as I'm concerned it's never too late.
Re: working out -- the goal in working out is to be able to get to your next workout. If you push too hard and can't get to that next workout, then you've foiled your ability to keep moving forward.
(Subscribed!)
Thanks for the sub! Love to hear that you've been enjoying being a muscle milf lol.
Also that's a good point! I'm gonna be prepared for my next workout instead of being too sore or destroyed to do it
Getting transitioning information/vlogs and news information all in one place, I’m in. From one trans woman to another, keep up the good work. You got this, remember, you’re not obligated to take shit from anyone.
Awh thank you so much ;-;
Thanks for the heads up.. scary, but exciting 😊
i relate SO HARD to being in a state of hypervigalence. i didn’t fully realize how difficult it was until i started transitioning. still have this experience (i’m very early in transition) but i feel way more aware of it now.
I'm glad you related 😊
I loved what you said about gender envy being confused for "attraction"! It must have been so weird for all my girl loves in my life so far...but for me, i find that i'm just as sapphic as i ever was. I am attracted to the feminine in a person, although a balance or acknowledgement or (gasp) even celebration of your "other binary" really does it for me.
Thanks for sharing! Appreciate u
You're doin something right, this was on my homepage feed
Yay!! Thanks for watching
Screw what people think all that matters is what you think.
yeah C: screw what other ppl think !
Proud of you girl! Your consistency of posting your journey is helping so many people 🫶 keep thriving ❤❤❤
@@aNewDayWithErin thank uuuu!!! 💖💖💖
Switching from receiving transphobia to misogyny, yay!
...saying that out loud is so bad😅
@@HotDogTimeMachine385 right???
Heyy I just turned 31 in June, been on hrt for a little over 6 months, socially transitioning for about 18 months, and I guess the algorithm just figured it was meant to be
@@BlightningBrightling thanks for sharing C: glad the algorithm brought you to my channel!! I'm happy you related so much to stuffs I said 😊
I've thought about it. I'm relatively certain I'm ADHD autistic but I've never really had the tests done to verify it.
Idk who needs to read this, but you're here, and you're beautiful or handsome. You're valid. Smile! 💙🩷🤍🩷💙 you're all loved.
I'm actually going to take your advice and drink some water. No, not because you told me to, but because my kidneys are sad.
Enjoy the water! Thanks for commenting n stuff C:
@LeahPassaniti Big news for me. I told my therapist today, and they gave me affirmations and stuff to research to help! I'm so excited.
@@LeahPassaniti also I will! Hawley (PA) water is kinda grosssss tho.
Thank you! ❤
Aaaah! Congratulations on your 1 year HRT-iversary! 💙🩷🤍🩷💙
OHHHH MY GOASAHHHH
As a younger girlie myself (realized at 16, am 18 now) THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SAYING BODY HAIR GETS BETTER
I'm also Italian right, and I HATE the swarms of that black gunk over my body, when you said that it feels like an alien parasite, oh my GOD I felt that, I have told myself and my friends that so muchhh!!!
Also, I'm so terrified of age, I'm scared I'll look horrible at 30/40 or that I'll he scared of my transness and be a guy again :(
But seeing you so pretty at 31, that gives me hope, so much hope
Thank you so much, I was an immediate sub at your big election video, and now I know I'll watch regularly 💜
This is such a lovely comment, congrats on finding yourself at your age!! You have so much time ahead of you to be your authentic self. Amazing 💖
Also, thank you. I started taking collagen supplements recently but yah i think a lot of it has to do with spending a bunch of time indoors playing video games lol
Wear sunscreen, drink plenty of water, and and take care of yourself. You'll be fine C: once you transition, you'll age according to your hormone profile. You'll look like a mature woman, a beautiful one too I bet! 30s and 40s are not old or past prime, they ARE the prime years. Even the 50s are still prime. 18-29 is very young lol you got dis!
One thing you didn't mention Leah. For many trans girls, especially like me who were small skinny boys to begin with, you notice a huge drop in physical safety. I lost 30% of my chest/arm muscles and am 59kg/165cm (130pounds and 5ft5). When I date big muscly guys, I tell a friend where I'm going, what time, and send a photo of him. I hold my keys in my fingers late at night when I walk home from the train station. This never crossed my mind as a boy.
Yeah you're right, same. I'm incredibly weak compared to what I used to be, and that is a safety issue. I didn't talk about it bc I actually plan on making a video bout things I think aren't talked about enough (self defense being one). Thanks for your comment, this is important to discuss! Some girlies might not even consider it
@LeahPassaniti it is something we took for granted in T-filled life. Even as a short, lean boy, I could easily handle myself and not feel stressed. Now, even a mid-strength, half fit guy could rape or abduct me very easily. It's extremely unlikely, but it went from 0% in my mind, to now some number that is no longer 0%.
I smiled when you talked about attraction/gender envy of women, because that's me. Sometimes I see a women and I'm attracted to them in the sense of I wanna be you, while other times is I wanna be with you. And figuring out the distinction was a journey. (A silly example, I wanna be Vi from Arcana, I wanna be with Cait)
I remember playing The Sims, and creating me as the het-cis man, then I would create my "perfect woman" as wife, that had nothing to do with the women I'm sexually attracted to, but now I realize it's the woman I wish I could be.
Today I consider myself non-binary, currently I have no wish/need to transition beyond playing with my gender presentation, wearing makeup, nails, etc.
This was interesting to read, thank you for sharing ! C:
Gender envy can seriously be so confusing. I think it should be talked about more, as a young person I just simply had no idea how to distinguish between envy and attraction.
Very interesting video, thanks for sharing! It made me realize one of the biggest things I didn’t see coming. I got the chance to finally deconstruct what I had from growing up in a shaving/waxing culture. I’m FtM, and was hairy in some areas (lower legs, arms) but not in others (funny enough the armpits, despite my Italian heritage). On the first 6 months of transition I got tons of body hair, and I would trim it, whereas now (10 months in), it can trigger disforia if I trim it “too much”. I thought I had deconstructed stuff when I moved to Canada (people don’t give a 💩 about body hair where I live), but turns out I waxed/trimmed for reasons other than just a personal preference. I’m at peace and very much enjoying my body hair now!
Awh so glad that ur relationship with your body hair has improved so much! Thank you for sharing ☺️🏳️⚧️🤗
I def relate to a lot of this but its fun to hear how another trans person's experience differs too~
Awh das good C: thank u for commenting!
Congrats on the upcoming 1K ❤
Thank uuu!!!
Everything you mentioned matches me exactly the same!!!
awh that's great to hear C:
Lmao I'm literally a trans girl who's into politics, the algo delivered hard on this one
Hello! Glad u found me :3
Good shows ! I've seen your politics shows too ! I'm ftm Trans myself 😊
Thank you so much for your support my guy! 💞
Im now a bit more anxious after letting go of the protective shell, but I am confident that that will faye over time as I get more used to be fem in public.
I can relate to that. It feels very vulnerable and scary to be out and open and presenting how you want. It definitely does get easier with time, I believe in u! 💞
This really makes me feel more hopeful about my future.
Awh that's good! C:
a good thing about having a bit of extra weight in the first years of transition is increased breast growth. at least i believe that having some extra fat for hrt to move around helps vs. being underweight. i’m a distance runner and have made sure to eat plenty as i build the best looking a** i have ever had and am at tanner stage 5 after a year and a half. hoping for full c’s by the end of two years 🤞 ❤
Praying to the boob gods! That's very true. I feel like I've had a lot of fat redistribution and eating a lot early in transition is for sure something I would recommend. Gotta have nutrients for all the changes!
@ i’m trying to not think about the election and watching your transition videos is helping 💕 i voted this morning (i live in indiana) and it was a lot of camo, mesh back, and high and tight haircuts in the line. scary! i have never seen so many young people voting before.
The doing things worse thing kinda reminds me about a person who discovered they were autistic and as they began working on unmasking they also were worse at many things. Cant remember where I heard about that though
Honestly I didn't mention it, but this is also prolly a part of me getting worse at stuff lol
I'm trans masc (genderfluid/enby), so for me a lot of my experiences are probably opposite of yours. The whole time I was growing up, I always felt like there wasn't enough hair on my body. You know how you feel the first time you see a hairless cat or dog? That feeling, except all the time and every time I look in the mirror. My dysphoria around my lack of body hair always kind of made me feel like I must be dying or something. I guess, I just had this deep seeded health fear that the lack of hair on my body meant I was sick or something even though it was a completely normal amount of hair for a female body. I'm am currently unable to get on HRT due to accessibility issues from living in a red state, but I would love to do so. I wonder if my dysphoria around my body hair would also ease after a while on HRT.
I want to change my name. I always hated my given name anyways, so I think it would be a relief to change it to a name more suitable to how I want to be perceived. Although, I do wish to keep aspects like the first half of my given name as part of my new name because it will allow me to keep the loving nicknames that people have given me. I also thought about not changing it due to being a people pleaser, but then I realized that it's my name. I'm the one that has to live with that name every day, so it should be my choice. Just like my gender is mine, and no one can tell me I can't express how I want to express.
I felt extreme gender envy toward feminine gay men oddly enough. I'm omnisexual, so I feel attraction to everyone especially towards their gender expression. For the longest time, I thought my gender envy towards feminine gay men was intense sexual attraction and a cruel joke that my brain had decided to play on me because this was before I realized I was trans. I thought, "Well this sucks. I feel intense attraction towards men who literally wouldn't touch me with a 10-foot pole." Now I realize I don't want to just be with them, I want to BE them. lol
I am also the most out of shape I've ever been in my entire life, and I also want to be super muscular even though I never had any desire to work out beyond running and swimming when I was younger. I didn't realize I wanted this until I realized I am trans. Now I wish I had my own person gym to work out in every single day. Although, due to health reasons and not having money, I have neither of those options. 😢 If I could do push ups, I would just do them ALL the time. After realizing I was trans, I suddenly wish I could bench 200 pounds even though I've never done weight lifting a day in my life. It's like a whole new world has opened up for me when initially I had written off doing muscle workouts because, "I'm a girl, and girls aren't supposed to do that." Being sexist towards myself apparently.
If anyone read this entire comment, I just want to thank you for taking the time out of your day. You are greatly appreciated. I also just want to thank you for this video. After all the doom and gloom after the election, finding your channel and watching this video has really helped me to relax. Keep up the great content. 💜
Thank you so much! I appreciate your comment and yes, I read the whole thing. It's really important for me to hear and understand the FTM or transmasc experience. It's so interesting how it's the same, but different entirely. I love that people who have such contradictory feelings about certain things can see each other as totally valid. Neat as heck.
Stay safe out there!
Thank you for your inciteful presentation! And thank the algorithm gods for sending it to me! 🤪 It is great to hear about other people's transition experience. I relate to much of what you describe, and find the parts that are different super interesting. I am 69 and started transition less than one year ago. So much of my life that was confusing began to make sense since my egg cracked. 😀 Now I want to explore your other content, but please keep making the trans related videos!
I hope you enjoy the rest of my content, and huge congratulations on finding yourself and having the courage to take the journey ☺️ that's so beautiful, wishing you so much joy and peace 💖
I'll for sure make more transition content dw!
I started hrt 1 year before I shaved my denial beard and came out. Everyone was like "are you gonna start hormones soon?" I would just laugh and grab my boobs and say "yeah got these puppies about 6 months ago" I get some wierd looks.
Thanks for sharing! That's definitely something I've heard of people doing. Starting hrt well before beginning social transition. C: Glad it worked out well for you.
Stay safe out there!
I think you are comfortable with body hair because your beard has been lasered and doesn't really show up (yes I realise you have make up on too). I'm only 4 months in and my shadow is rough after 1.5days. I also have male pattern baldness (like no hair left) so I wear wigs. My beard shadow is the last thing that still freaks me out. My look is 75% worse (in my eyes) if I don't shave every 1-2 days. Admittedly it's way better now that my hair grows really slowly, but still, it freaks me out.
Oh yeah, laser was definitely necessary for me. I hated /hate my facial hair. I still have to shave every day, but yes my shadow is nearly gone except in smaller areas.
Hope ur able to get urs taken care of eventually!
@LeahPassaniti Yeah, I'm only starting (4months) so I realise patience is my friend here. Thanks for your encouragement and for sharing your story. I feel a little less freakish and alone 🥰. I wish you success in your online and life adventures.
Just found your channel, and love your vibes ❤
Thanks sm
Video starts at 3:32
Thanks!
As an afab feminine presenting person I’ve never perceived my body hair as masculine. All humans have body hair it’s so weird that women are expected to be hairless, something that indicates that an individual is pre-pubescent
ive been transitioning for two years and im still painfully aware of my existience and almost never feel relaxed but i think its at the dread that this body is mine
I hope ur able to find comfort in your own body at your own pace, it can be really difficult so I understand it being a struggle
@LeahPassaniti what's strange is that i relate to the feeling of not being bothered by body hair and not really having dysphoria at all anymore idk maybe its cuz im a tomboy but im always on edge and its frustrating
@LeahPassaniti this body is finally starting to feel like mine and its new and scary and oh my god
Hi! I'd following you for a while on either Bluesky or Threads simply because you seemed like a nice person and I'm a simple bean, I see another trans person who seems nice, I follow.. then here's your face in the recommended videos! 😅
Awhhh well thank u for your support C: glad u have been finding my content!! ☺️🏳️⚧️
@@LeahPassaniti So apparently i wasn't following on Treads, I was being shown your content so regularly I thought i was. D'oh. Fixed.
But yeah, I was like that pre transition with body hair. Now I only shave my chest when the few spikey bits get irritating against underwear.
I just went with the feminine alt of my given names. Felt right.
And my anxiety over random stuff and multiple arguments over weird stuff in my head ceased as soon as I started running on oestrogen. It was weird. Haven't got the clumsies yet. A couple of my ... seasoned ... trans friends are clumsy AF, so it's real. Since I've only been treated for 4 months maybe I'll start falling over soon 🤣
About 1 week into hrt I bit into an apple and it just tasted so good. The flavor was so much more intense and the sweetness was stronger. At first I thought it was just the apple but before long realized all food tasted better. Estrogen literally made food better. A year and five months later and I'm still amazed. Also I'm going to vote in about 2 hours.
Thank you for voting! Ur awesome C:
This has been really pronounced w smells for me. Smells are soooo much stronger and I'm so much more sensitive to them. Taste is definitely more intense too! It's really interesting!
It's great that your story has gotten you out there more - that's how I came across your channel - but it also kinda sucks when you get boosted for a one-off video that isn't your main content because it incentivises you changing your content. Which is always lame because you're obviously passionate about what you begin with.
Yeahhhh and tbh, I felt like there were already some really great content creators talking bout transition stuffs. I didn't necessarily feel like I could add something interesting to the discourse but ppl have been apparently enjoying my transition videos! I will prolly try to find a way to make it work with doing both, but we shall seeee
Hey, tardy to this party, late bloomers... But overall absolutely worth the wait. I feel you on the body hair hatred, "aliens in the skin" is a good way to put it. Also, your voice is just immaculate 🖤 any advice or sources?
Not too tardy :p you're fine!
People keep saying this, and I'm not gonna lie, I have a hard time understanding why! I did do voice training, I just used the popular UA-camrs as guides. I have a background in music and at one point wanted to be a voice actor so it wasn't all that challenging for me to approach.
I could make a video bout it at some point!
Media-hyped body types have made me seeing only the parts of my body i dislike in the mirror
awh ;-; I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you find some love for your self and your body. No one is perfect.
I probably can't do three push ups either. I remember in school other boys saying I was weak like a girl. If they only knew. 🤣🤣I would love to see an eye makeup tutorial or some tips on voice because you sound great. 🥰🏳⚧
Sure I'd be willing to do a voice training video! I could do a makeup tutorial but fr, I'm not great at it lmao. I only really use concealer, mascara, and pencil liner..
Oh, I'm also 30 years and just celebrated my first year E-nniversary!
You've definitely got a new sub from me, sis! ☺️🏳️⚧️
Thank you sis ☺️ and happy E-nniversary!!
Great video!
@@darkhelmet4466 thank u!!
1 year?! You're looking set! Must have good genetics. Literally wouldn't look twice IRL x You are so relatable, on the body hair dysphoria at least. Natty hairy women are sexy ❤ empowered squeee this whole dialogue is just 😌 i reckon bc ur so feminine in your manner, now you feel you have permission to relax into liking what you are not, ie opposite to how you are
Awh thank you so much for this comment. That's very sweet.
And ur so right! Being able to be comfortable in my expression let's me explore things that might be seen as traditionally masculine, but it no longer bothers me! I'm a girl, but I wanna get really fit. I wanna be strong!
Have a great one!
i love your voice aaaaaa
Awh thank uuuuu! That's so kind
I lift... put it this way, you are never going to look like a roid taking greek statue. Muscle will help you so much. Confidence, body health, protection... u will be vibrant.
edit: u say you got winded- U need to work on bulking, not being limited by cardio factors. Lift 5-10 reps, a weight which you are literally unable to lift past 12 reps, and no more than 3 sets per session. You want hypertrophy, not cardio workout. If u nail your technique, you will be set for a life of gains. Being BIG is an advantage. Don't eat less pls. Muscles use energy just by existing, ur weight will manage itself. Trust me, I do this passionately in my own life.
My arms and legs are tree trunks now, and my bra size is bigger (i'm pretty big already)
Not injuring your joints is your focus. if you injure something, u will hamper progress
All really sound advice! I don't think it's possible to look like a roid taking buff dude. What I meant is that's why I never worked out pretransition bec I was worried bout ending up all muscley. Not really an important concern bc, obv, wasn't on roids lol
@@LeahPassaniti I think I can appreciate that ... For me, I had the fear of 'looking manly/being viewed as less feminine' which impeded my staying ability. Also my body jacks up its production of stress hormones 24/7 when I did cardio exercise, which is abysmal for sleep. I can't exercise my way to good nights sleep. Muscle gain suits me more, apart from everything else! (ps it's GREAT for your skin. Softer... You don't get smelly or oily sweat!!!) Big support
I am 4 months into my transition and its been crazy.
It's a wild ride! I hope it's been good for you
@@LeahPassaniti Iv had so many cis women say there jealous of my hair and bob size, it's funny. I forget sometimes when I wave to a guy or something with a girl it's not the same anymore. A girl did a double take at me and him after I waved. lol
Everyone should go and get their body composition checked pre-transitioning and then do it every now and then. My gym does it every three months or so and they have a diet plan. I can ride bike until I bonk, meaning, my muscles fail or I start falling asleep. I do 7 push-ups every day.
Italians are super body-conscious.
We Europeans even cannot vote and Trump presidency would screw up things in so many ways in Europe as well. If conservatives see that putting megabucks to anti-trans ads is a winning strategy, then we would see the erosion of our rights as well.
@@stasacab good advice!
I'm 3.75 yrs hrt and I'm fucking dying to socially transition.
I hope ur able to soon 🫂🙏
❤
i love your voice!
Thank uuuu
This was a good video! Some of these things are things I hope to experience.
However, you used probably more words than you needed to in order to convey most of your points, including 'and stuff like that'. This is intended as helpful feedback, I look forward to seeing what you do in the future
Yah you're right! I've always been like that. I'll try to cut it out in the edit if I catch it next time
Ayyyy fire flow fam 🤘🤘❤️🔥🤘🤘
Ayeee! I would love to do some fire n flow videos in the future :3
If you're on progesterone, the getting less attentive and worse at things could be a sign that your dose is a bit too high. Progesterone is a sedative in addition to its gendered features, and people on sedatives aren't exactly famous for being focused and coordinated.
I'm not on progesterone till my next blood test
I should be wearing my earrings and belly button pierced with rings 15 and nose piercing and the FEMALE body
Hey I'm 40 finally figuring shit out lol
Proud of u for taking the time to figure yourself out
Hello thought I'd say hi great to your video. Best wishes to you.❤
Thanks!!
haiii :3c
@@_Darton_ :3
0:01 general Kenobi
I tried real hard to figure out what tf u mean but I just have no idea lmao
@@LeahPassaniti you say hello there and my revenge of Sith loving a says general Kenobi
@Joel-nu1ed ohhhhhh ok 😂
Wearing my black nylons over my legs and toes nails
So glad I left liberalism and joined Marxism Leninism.
Uh ok..?
@LeahPassaniti It's nice because it's a GOOD political ideology.
@@StanleytheCat-v8z red fascism is not something to be proud of
Just saw "the palestine" on your background and I made sure UA-cam stops recommending your channel. For trans stuff I can find enough of other resources.
Lmao. If you support genocide I don't want you watching my content. Bye bye! I know like, almost all other trans content creators support Palestinians and their right to life and self determination.