The Most BS Martial Artists Ever - Fake Kung Fu, Fake Chi, Fake Karate Breakdown

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  • Опубліковано 1 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 5 тис.

  • @FightCommentary
    @FightCommentary  6 років тому +120

    To see us examine the first master's techniques: ua-cam.com/video/iKvk1Kxjnjc/v-deo.html
    Thank you all for your hilarious comments! Glad you were entertained by this comedic critique ;) Also, thank you so much for letting me know that YMCA means Young Man's Christian Association ;)
    Shoutout viewer Markus Puschert for saying it's: not tiger. actually it´s "taiga" ^^
    That vietnamese guy that we were roasting was actually covered by McDojoLife in 2023: ua-cam.com/video/KfVP1UMgogE/v-deo.html
    To see more hilarious videos critiquing funny techniques, please go here: ua-cam.com/play/PLtdbPxlsaM_mrpN75fQtCa3lUO5DM4Py5.html
    Or here: ua-cam.com/video/NlVj_s7H4FE/v-deo.html

    • @GrimReaper-vr8hc
      @GrimReaper-vr8hc 6 років тому

      This is so fucking annoying make me cringe and want to kill my self. WTF is this. 😒😕😫😫😫😫😫😦 So shit

    • @GrimReaper-vr8hc
      @GrimReaper-vr8hc 6 років тому

      and that fucking Chi power shit. Good Lord it's stupid. Good luck in a real fight.

    • @starforgesabers
      @starforgesabers 6 років тому +1

      Fight Commentary Breakdowns YMCA- Young Mans Christian Association, otherwise known as not the place to learn martial arts. Heck one of the biggest things I teach on practicing kata, when we do kata, is everyone goes at the same pace and everyone stays together. Not really sure why they all looked like that sweat suit cult with black belts either.

    • @lathialilith
      @lathialilith 6 років тому

      make a video about indonesian silat please. some of em including me can throw a person 2meters away without touching em

    • @davemarx7856
      @davemarx7856 6 років тому

      People buy black belts and explain that they will knock out the yoga instructor if he tries to make it an issue.

  • @h8tingit
    @h8tingit 6 років тому +2737

    "Empty your mind, be formless, be shapeless, like vodka. Put vodka into cup, becomes cup..... be vodka my friend." ~Bruce Leebrewski.

    • @mondrianeuse
      @mondrianeuse 6 років тому +79

      best comment i've seen in a long time haha good one

    • @xy6830
      @xy6830 6 років тому +14

      h8tingit I think they're showing the wrong Russian dubbing of that part😂😂

    • @jawieceniza9137
      @jawieceniza9137 6 років тому +21

      I read it in a russian accent.

    • @TijiSan
      @TijiSan 6 років тому +13

      You put vodka on fire it becomes the smoke like the fire

    • @deplorablepatriot8697
      @deplorablepatriot8697 6 років тому +5

      Jawie Ceniza I read it in Ukraine accent you mad ?

  • @Gilmaris
    @Gilmaris 4 роки тому +311

    "How do they all have black belts"? Easy:
    Yellow belt is for signing up
    Green belt is for showing up
    Blue belt is for staying for a whole session
    ...and black belt is when your cheque has cleared.

    • @FightCommentary
      @FightCommentary  4 роки тому +18

      HAHAHAH ;)

    • @theVOICE0f1
      @theVOICE0f1 4 роки тому +1

      Well put

    • @keegan773
      @keegan773 4 роки тому +1

      Gilmaris
      Cynical.....but true.😂😂😂😂

    • @mutant0177
      @mutant0177 4 роки тому

      It all fun okay. But do you know that not every black belt (in all systems) means it is a master degree?

    • @duanscott2490
      @duanscott2490 4 роки тому +5

      I'd look at it more from the free pizza or free sandwich promotion standpoint. After you've paid X amount of dollars you get a free colored belt. The color of the free belt depends on how much $ you've paid. When you reach black belt $ you actually get a second belt free. Just pay separate shipping.

  • @ajaxsf
    @ajaxsf 4 роки тому +493

    You know what I want to see? Two masters of two different "no-touch" martial arts go up against each other.

    • @E-101-Beta
      @E-101-Beta 4 роки тому +62

      The universe would implode.

    • @L3GHO5T
      @L3GHO5T 4 роки тому +51

      Esso when I got my 100th degree black belt in chi I had to fight another chi master but the two energy’s acting against one another cancels it out so we stood there for 9 minutes nothing happened

    • @obrfuhrmarin
      @obrfuhrmarin 4 роки тому +14

      you know what, they just stare each other doing nothing, they let the chi fought by them self

    • @jiixybaloba9592
      @jiixybaloba9592 4 роки тому +4

      Hahahahahahahaah

    • @alohorung
      @alohorung 4 роки тому +6

      That would be too dangerous. I would not recommend. lol

  • @mikeleschber33
    @mikeleschber33 4 роки тому +296

    That last guy had chi....cheeseburger that is

  • @danielsancoy1954
    @danielsancoy1954 7 років тому +1686

    He is not fat, he is full of chi.

    • @martinpearce6555
      @martinpearce6555 6 років тому +30

      Daniel Sancoy don't you mean tight cheese!

    • @fedorlenz5658
      @fedorlenz5658 6 років тому +59

      U mean he is full of CHIT

    • @devinthierault
      @devinthierault 6 років тому +15

      As someone said he could be called Chuck Porridge

    • @Jacobson47
      @Jacobson47 6 років тому +15

      Full of chi-tos

    • @gedeyogam9096
      @gedeyogam9096 6 років тому +7

      Frank casTLE carefull...he might eat you

  • @cjnance008
    @cjnance008 5 років тому +36

    That reporter didn't accidentally reveal anything. He was trying to expose the BS and succeeded. And I am here for all of it!

  • @Fat_Vegan
    @Fat_Vegan 6 років тому +322

    Nowadays you can get a black belt through a vending machine

    • @defenseagainststalking
      @defenseagainststalking 5 років тому +14

      I buy mine at Walmart

    • @bakeshoprecords7690
      @bakeshoprecords7690 5 років тому +1

      Hahahahaha @Clubber Lang

    • @baqikenny
      @baqikenny 5 років тому +4

      anywhere online man, 50 bucks well made, brand new, custom stitched name with legit counterfeit photo ID too

    • @americasmostinfamoustv94
      @americasmostinfamoustv94 5 років тому +2

      I got mine at Goodwill

    • @zPulsar
      @zPulsar 5 років тому

      Yes, this is true for a lot of bullshit arts like Taekwondo, etc. I train in traditional kung fu and we base our training only on self defense. Our black belts tests are something you need to prepare physically for. 4 hours of intense workout, them without a break, while you're dehydrated and fatigued you show all your techniques and must make them work or you get beat as if it was you getting jumped. That is how you should earn a black belt!

  • @dan52ish
    @dan52ish 4 роки тому +59

    The snake mantis is a great technique against children and wheelchair bound midgets.

  • @SEEYAIAYE
    @SEEYAIAYE 6 років тому +360

    Pssh phonies, my local sensei at Yoga class told me he wasn't allowed to enter the UFC because he was too deadly.

    • @truesurvivor6963
      @truesurvivor6963 6 років тому +15

      SEE YAI AYE you should have punched his for saying that.

    • @binodmenahihu8104
      @binodmenahihu8104 6 років тому +29

      "sensei at yoga class"...?????? What on earth are you learning bro...
      And when did yoga become a martial art..???
      😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @SEEYAIAYE
      @SEEYAIAYE 6 років тому +49

      The joke
      Your head

    • @VagaBond376
      @VagaBond376 6 років тому +15

      Lol someone didn't understand the sarcasm

    • @mortvald
      @mortvald 6 років тому +9

      Cheli Lombi
      Yoga was derived from a martial art "Kalaripayatu"
      It's just a stretching routine, they also used to use natural oils and medicine.

  • @faznyc1
    @faznyc1 6 років тому +228

    Grand Master Smirnoff

    • @Jeff-ir2ee
      @Jeff-ir2ee 6 років тому +3

      Now I want to make a UA-cam video just so I can use this as a name of a character in the show.

    • @faznyc1
      @faznyc1 6 років тому +1

      Don’t forget to give me s shout out lol

    • @PredatorPeyami
      @PredatorPeyami 6 років тому

      Smirnoff is a bullshit european vodka

    • @ДмитрийСемашко-м7д
      @ДмитрийСемашко-м7д 6 років тому

      Stolichnaya Cup

    • @charlesmendez4686
      @charlesmendez4686 5 років тому

      You guys are killn me 😂😂😂😂

  • @princeekeson12
    @princeekeson12 5 років тому +158

    If I were to get into a fight with one of these guys I would break down in hysterical laughter...So I guess these fighting techniques are effective. 😂😂😂😂

  • @marcd1981
    @marcd1981 20 днів тому +1

    The last guy was exhausted just speaking into the mic. The "schools" where everyone has black belts are literally called belt schools. You pay your monthly dues, and as long as you show up for class every week, you get the next belt on their schedule.

  • @Luxman010
    @Luxman010 7 років тому +161

    When you suck at something and your friends and family Keep telling you that you are the best they have seen. This is what happens.

    • @FightCommentary
      @FightCommentary  7 років тому +1

      Yep :)

    • @tenhirankei
      @tenhirankei 7 років тому +1

      They're supposed to be the ones that can call on doing stupid.

    • @xhairs6123
      @xhairs6123 6 років тому +1

      Or you end up on America's got talent.

    • @FortniteKid-jm7gx
      @FortniteKid-jm7gx 5 років тому

      Or other got talent shows.

  • @trueman9299
    @trueman9299 5 років тому +148

    The reason the guy fell down in the last clip is because the girl shouted ' I'm gonna tell my dad what you did !

    • @alexiachimciuc3199
      @alexiachimciuc3199 5 років тому +5

      You baaad 😁

    • @justinj3340
      @justinj3340 5 років тому +4

      I've met this guy before, you're not far off 😬

    • @buffalowick8003
      @buffalowick8003 4 роки тому +3

      @@justinj3340 holy shit please continue. What was he like?

    • @andrewhensley3808
      @andrewhensley3808 4 роки тому +1

      Lmfao

    • @blankfaces256
      @blankfaces256 4 роки тому +3

      She well enjoyed slapping his neck, he felt that second one too. His face was like bruh

  • @awaismir8008
    @awaismir8008 6 років тому +52

    The reporter broke the block in half.. as soon as that happend I knew.. that the reporter was also a kungfoo master..

  • @scooby3ce
    @scooby3ce 4 роки тому +18

    That last dude didn’t even have karate pants on he had adidas Pants on😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @shadowfox8425
    @shadowfox8425 5 років тому +67

    Hey Crouching Comrade Hidden Vodka is the deadliest of Kung Fu

  • @Docinaplane
    @Docinaplane 7 років тому +516

    Some of these are pretty wack! However, when I see the group classes working out so poorly, I feel sad for the students because I'm sure most of them have the desire and ability to learn legitimate martial arts.

    • @LetsTryEverything
      @LetsTryEverything 7 років тому +31

      Yep. They just need good teachers. When I did Kung Fu, I felt so frustrated because I could tell the instruction sucked. Wish I discovered MMA as a teen. I would've been much healthier in the mind.

    • @strawhatironpp7524
      @strawhatironpp7524 7 років тому +11

      it really is sad when the bs artists target young audiences. it just harms them.

    • @meerak7973
      @meerak7973 7 років тому +12

      And now you understand how some really trained guy can just come up and fight the whole dojo just like in the bruce lee movies.
      Hell even I could go up there and kick half of the peoples but inculding the master.

    • @NewBodyContact
      @NewBodyContact 7 років тому +5

      The group class at about 3:25 are doing a set pattern in taekwondo. It's an advanced pattern but it's completely legit. Their master must have wanted everyone to learn it although it's for the higher belts. Just because you don't see what they're doing doesn't mean they're fucking around

    • @AnthonyKravitz
      @AnthonyKravitz 7 років тому +1

      Would be funny to see an actual fighter to find one of these "masters" and humiliate them in front of their whole class.
      Edit: nevermind. Just found videos of it. Lmao.

  • @shooting3km
    @shooting3km 7 років тому +70

    One day that girl's going to have a real attacker and the invisible chi ball she throws will have no effect and can't believe it didn't work

    • @johnbell4489
      @johnbell4489 6 років тому

      Patrick Chavez Just carry a tazer gun or 🔫.

    • @mega1971tron
      @mega1971tron 6 років тому

      So true

    • @kayneassasin
      @kayneassasin 6 років тому +2

      don't be so sure, the attacker might laugh himself to death!

  • @Heli4213
    @Heli4213 4 роки тому +1

    This is so funny I was trying to paint a straight line on some trim after watching this and couldn't. You guys are great !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • @nightrider5109
    @nightrider5109 5 років тому +59

    Loved the last clip Sensai McDonalds ! Outta breath from talking

    • @lvlupent.7334
      @lvlupent.7334 5 років тому +5

      "not from any chi but cus hes fat"
      😭😭😭😭😭😭

    • @ob160
      @ob160 3 роки тому

      His assistant Samantha is cute tho

  • @bboy1481
    @bboy1481 7 років тому +174

    The people that dislike this video practice these styles.

    • @toniomiklo2406
      @toniomiklo2406 6 років тому +9

      Actually, I think that there are some people out there that think that by giving a down vote to a video, they sanction the clowns that video tries to make fun of, as opposed to the video. So, actually they like the video but are just a little confused.

    • @aminebrahmi8034
      @aminebrahmi8034 6 років тому +2

      bboy1481 ...i do kung fu...i can kick your ass am pretty sure of that and i didn't deslike the vid cuz these pple know nothing about the art they supposed to be doing

    • @himissgivemeperfectplease8318
      @himissgivemeperfectplease8318 6 років тому

      bboy1481 eyyyy bboy

    • @davidchan1012
      @davidchan1012 6 років тому +2

      Actually, I think that there are some people who are angry that he called the fake Vietnamese martial art singaporean

    • @4ebees
      @4ebees 6 років тому

      @amine HITMAN. Please return when you have a better bizarro language to English translation app

  • @MLBBInfoShort
    @MLBBInfoShort 6 років тому +176

    Vodka-Fu

  • @procheathepitai
    @procheathepitai 4 роки тому +7

    Its 2020 and this showed up on my feed. Way to start the new year with a LOL.

  • @masonkane5884
    @masonkane5884 6 років тому +84

    in the early 90s I went to a local dojo because they offered some exotic styles and I was interested in learning mantis style kung fu. At the time I already had several years of training in both Tae Kwon Do and Isshin Ryu Karate under my belt (forgive the pun), but I didn't mention that to them. I asked if I could observe one of their courses and they were kind enough to allow me to watch one of their "advanced" classes. Even though I was not familiar with the style were training it was painfully obvious that not one person there knew what the hell they were doing. After the class when they tried to get me to sign up I flatly told them that I wouldn't even consider giving them my money and they threatened to call the police on me. lol

    • @Titantr0n
      @Titantr0n 6 років тому +23

      On the grounds of saying uncomfortable things? You should have challenged the guy in charge, it would have been such a laugh.

    • @Aracne80
      @Aracne80 6 років тому +11

      I can only agree with Titantron here. A threat like that would ask for a challenge. And for the sake of your Community - expose them.

    • @mickymickymike4105
      @mickymickymike4105 6 років тому +9

      I laughed so hard at this comment lol. You were witnessing a cult, my friend. Thank God you made it out alive.

    • @bluehornet197
      @bluehornet197 5 років тому +1

      I have met a number of martial.art schools like this, before the class is done I challenge the teacher if I think it's total bs I have had teachers threaten to call the cops on me cause of my challenges but most of them have challenged me to see how good I am I don't tell them what I have done in the past and its always great to see the students beg you to teach them instead of there teacher 😂😂😂

    • @kohtenkreuz661
      @kohtenkreuz661 5 років тому +1

      I call bullshit on that.

  • @knightofthewhitecameleon4645
    @knightofthewhitecameleon4645 7 років тому +30

    The mantis hands guy didn’t get his kicks above the knee. Which leads me to believe he will be fighting children which is probably a good match for him.

    • @zom956
      @zom956 7 років тому +1

      Knight of the white Cameleon yesss my fav

    • @imaginationdan-479
      @imaginationdan-479 6 років тому

      Wait, are you saying he can take on a child?

    • @blightedgrounds
      @blightedgrounds Місяць тому

      Have you ever been kicked In the shins? It hurts! 😂

  • @aivan_sison
    @aivan_sison 5 років тому +47

    4:09 when someone with bad breath talks to you

    • @m_i_g_5108
      @m_i_g_5108 5 років тому

      Literally all of us have bad breath after eating.
      Unless you eat nothing but plants. 😂

    • @wastedpotential6650
      @wastedpotential6650 5 років тому

      Mig 28 take some mints bro they work

    • @m_i_g_5108
      @m_i_g_5108 5 років тому

      @@wastedpotential6650 Sorry, I don't know what to say. I'm not used to replying to comments that don't add to or refute the previous comments.
      I guess I should reply with a meme?

    • @wastedpotential6650
      @wastedpotential6650 4 роки тому

      Mig 28 maybe I have no clue 😂

    • @m_i_g_5108
      @m_i_g_5108 4 роки тому

      @@wastedpotential6650 😂

  • @angelonoahcarrisa
    @angelonoahcarrisa 4 роки тому +30

    4:05 is because she threw him an invisible hamburger

    • @markeezbaroon2033
      @markeezbaroon2033 4 роки тому +3

      They communicate on another level ... He take a nap after invisible hamburger.

  • @jaytea3613
    @jaytea3613 6 років тому +107

    The first guy's pop and lock skills are 100!!!!!

    • @DUB_87
      @DUB_87 6 років тому +9

      Jay Tea-IKR I thought he was doing a Michael Jackson impression. XD

    • @iTheGeo
      @iTheGeo 6 років тому +2

      I rofled

    • @khangngo16
      @khangngo16 6 років тому +1

      Thought he was having a spasm

    • @tmobileirledd2218
      @tmobileirledd2218 6 років тому +1

      All that was missing was the boom box and cardboard.

    • @cowlico
      @cowlico 6 років тому

      Jay Tea pop lock hahaha

  • @saulgarcia7083
    @saulgarcia7083 5 років тому +19

    The Russian guy looks like he’s dancing techno

  • @sylvana393
    @sylvana393 6 років тому +19

    So I wasted 20 years of my life practicing the Vodka Tiger? Thanks..

    • @DCI_LeoDan_
      @DCI_LeoDan_ 5 років тому

      "Vodka Tiger" sounds like an awesome drink.

  • @1duskyknight
    @1duskyknight 4 роки тому +9

    Do not watch the glass, or you will miss all the heavenly Smirnoff.

  • @TheHipisterDeer
    @TheHipisterDeer 6 років тому +56

    I would like to point out drunken fist is a real martial arts style, but these guys are just drunk.... As a real Kyoushin practitioner I found these halarious. Thanks for the laughs.

    • @oakeye980
      @oakeye980 6 років тому +5

      Dragonk116 It's martial arts, not marshal arts. They're not ushering people through a music festival.

    • @whitekitsune7263
      @whitekitsune7263 6 років тому +7

      Drunken Fist is extremely effective no joke

    • @westerndragon207
      @westerndragon207 6 років тому +2

      Dragoner Productions you should practice a dictionary more then karate. BTW it's kyokushin.

    • @ryanx9372
      @ryanx9372 6 років тому +1

      Yah. we know that and he mentioned that.

    • @Hale-ze4gm
      @Hale-ze4gm 6 років тому

      Practitioner my asss

  • @andyappleton3353
    @andyappleton3353 5 років тому +25

    That first guy reminds me of Arthur Fleck dancing in Joker.

    • @crujones4046
      @crujones4046 4 роки тому +1

      Andy Appleton. Hahahahaha right on!

    • @andyappleton3353
      @andyappleton3353 3 роки тому

      @Patrice Bateman He's obviously highly skilled. I heard he once killed an opponent through a Zoom match over the phone.

  • @-yeme-
    @-yeme- 5 років тому +29

    that first guy is great I really like him. theres one video of him sparring with his dog, its awesome.

  • @keithhopkins9225
    @keithhopkins9225 4 роки тому +1

    Your commentary is absolutely fantastic and hysterical! The vodka guy is hilarious, I’m sure he’s absolutely dangerous, not! My five year old grandson could nail anyone of them!

  • @bambambanuelos799
    @bambambanuelos799 7 років тому +5

    Damn bruh , haven't laughed this hard in a while!! ,good stuff💯

  • @Groomsman
    @Groomsman 5 років тому +94

    Watching this in 2019, still funny

    • @FightCommentary
      @FightCommentary  5 років тому +8

      Thanks!

    • @Adam.Rushing
      @Adam.Rushing 5 років тому +5

      @@FightCommentary I can't believe you answer comments 2 years later! Good youtuber there!

  • @rockymtnboi1158
    @rockymtnboi1158 6 років тому +7

    The 1,000 dislikes on this video are all practitioners of the exotic martial arts.

  • @Ed666Kemper
    @Ed666Kemper 11 місяців тому +1

    Damn, I didn't know that the Russian crocodile had such an effect

  • @MeinGoobbyXI
    @MeinGoobbyXI 6 років тому +30

    That Asian Guy Better be In Avengers 4.

  • @xotwodxo2842
    @xotwodxo2842 6 років тому +11

    THIS SHOULD BE A TV SHOW WHO AGREES😂

  • @joelmoura2150
    @joelmoura2150 6 років тому +18

    Great actors...they won an Oscar already

  • @glasshalffullofwhatever3106
    @glasshalffullofwhatever3106 4 роки тому +1

    The reporter trying to save the segment and still sell it...

  • @imaginationdan-479
    @imaginationdan-479 6 років тому +37

    The first guy, master Jingly Jangly, can seizure his way to any victory.
    The second guy looks like a monty python sketch.
    Third is an average day in the Motherland!
    Fourth guy is kim- Jong- Un's Chinese cousin, Kim- jong- pass the cheese.
    Then it looks like we are back to the first guy, master Jingly Jangly molesting a box.
    Fifth guy is like Jesus, only instead of turning water into wine he turns cement slabs into polystyrene.
    Sixth guy teaching people how to carefully close two draws at once with sass.
    Seventh guy looks like he is teaching people how to dance like Napoleon Dynamite.
    Final guy... you ever seen a parent trying to get a child to do something and they pretend to fall asleep and make their body go limp, this guy's that type of child.

    • @andye5724
      @andye5724 6 років тому

      ImaginationDan - idk why but the Monty Python line made me laugh way to hard haha had me crying...

  • @kakwildan1296
    @kakwildan1296 5 років тому +61

    *Jackie Chan has left the chat*

  • @whitninyo2525
    @whitninyo2525 5 років тому +25

    When you walk up to a chick in the club and wanna impress her with the moves 0:03-0:10 💀💀

  • @SandEdwards
    @SandEdwards Рік тому +1

    That’s five minutes I will never get back.

  • @richardseaton1570
    @richardseaton1570 4 роки тому +3

    Bear in mind, the one at 3.23 isn't fake because it's in a multipurpose room or that everyone's working in their own time.
    Oftentimes it's easier to just book a place regularly then buy, own and maintain your own building just for weekly classes.
    Also
    Kata's aren't group synchronized dancing. They're individual sequences of routines.
    That's the sign people actually know what they're doing there, when they're working in their own time to get it as right as they can.
    The idea that a martial arts class has to look good to be valid is dangerous, because often the best looking ones are not effective.

    • @ocarinajourney5374
      @ocarinajourney5374 Рік тому +1

      I agree. In fact, it looks like this is Kushanku that they're performing.

  • @Dee1983x
    @Dee1983x 7 років тому +42

    1:38 that's something Peter Griffin would do 😅😅😅

  • @Viktor_Kucherov
    @Viktor_Kucherov 5 років тому +46

    Im from Russia... it is a facepalm

    • @biggjuicy1982
      @biggjuicy1982 5 років тому +1

      Im from Russia too. Systema and other wannabe Russian martial arts are giving us a bad name, in the martial arts world. We should go round them all up, and execute them.

    • @saleemsuliman3062
      @saleemsuliman3062 5 років тому +1

      @@biggjuicy1982 i use to practice Kyokushin i dont think systema is that Bad it was designed for the military.

    • @biggjuicy1982
      @biggjuicy1982 5 років тому +3

      @@saleemsuliman3062 Systema that is taught by all of these guys on the internet, and the stuff that you see on youtube is not real Systema. It was made up. The crap that looks like bad Tai Chi. Aikido, no touch Chi strikes, slap boxing, and training without sparring, or grappling, and all that, is not real Russian martial arts. Systema was not created for military. Arminski Rukopashnii Boi was created for the Russian Military. ROSS is the Russian Military combat conditioning program. Spetznaz train combat sambo, and ARB. Not Systema. Systema is garbage. Pretty much all of those dudes are frauds.

    • @biggjuicy1982
      @biggjuicy1982 5 років тому +1

      @@saleemsuliman3062 Kyokushin is better than systema

    • @saleemsuliman3062
      @saleemsuliman3062 5 років тому +1

      @@biggjuicy1982 sambo is good its legit.

  • @ATUS1213
    @ATUS1213 4 роки тому +1

    I like your commentary 🤣🤣. And here I have read some of the best comments ever. It made my day. Thank you creative people.

  • @clumpyify
    @clumpyify 7 років тому +93

    Where's Steven seagal?

    • @clumpyify
      @clumpyify 7 років тому +3

      mralex070 he's fake

    • @fitnessmmaplaylists3548
      @fitnessmmaplaylists3548 7 років тому +3

      mralex070 woooow he teached anderson silva how to front kick? Dayum if he doesnt know how to front kick wtf he had done in UFC (besides he was a legend). Seagel is a mastermind in bullshit he got sucess with his bullshido in hollywood. Thats the obly thing admirable with that man how he tricked so many dumb people

    • @clumpyify
      @clumpyify 7 років тому

      mralex070 whatever

    • @H0n3yMonstah
      @H0n3yMonstah 7 років тому +3

      mralex070 Aikido itself is mostly a crock of shit.

    • @rscholey85
      @rscholey85 7 років тому +3

      Just ask john Claude van damn he knows 😹 we all know it's bull I didn't think it was a secret 😹

  • @jesseharrold1812
    @jesseharrold1812 4 роки тому +11

    3:04 I can actually vouch for this one. This looks like goju ryu karate, which relies on strong, grounded stances and quick, powerful strikes to the upper body and head. This kata is pretty much a stance and breathing exercise.

  • @Tsunami_Acura
    @Tsunami_Acura 5 років тому +12

    The first guy was just demonstrating all the new soulja boy dance moves. It's called kungfuooul!!! When you krank that

    • @DUB_87
      @DUB_87 5 років тому

      😂

  • @itsgleneaton4883
    @itsgleneaton4883 3 роки тому +1

    Real masters say don’t try this at home but with these masters you shouldn’t try this anywhere

  • @Explorshon123
    @Explorshon123 5 років тому +16

    Some of these, like at 3:07 are just students doing kata. Kata actually does have it's uses and value in martial arts. Not to say you are going to use an exact full kata to defend yourself but moves from kata can be used in a real situation and kata is a good way to practise balance, perfect cerain techniques at a slow speed first and then be able to speed up the technique during actual self defense, strengthen the body and master controlled breathing (which is helpful to manage fear, nervousness and enable better stamina). By the way, this is coming from someone who does think there is a lot of traditional rubbish littering some martial arts that do not work and just look flashy.

    • @bluehornet197
      @bluehornet197 5 років тому +1

      Kata does not teach you self defence unless it has been shown to you on how it can be applied to be used for self-defence take it from someone who has what I like to call a useless black belt from my years at Taekwondo I learnt it for 5yrs and got my black belt and I WOULD NOT use what I learnt in Taekwondo in a fight I wouldn't dare use any of the kata or forms the only time I use taekwondo is when my opponent is almost finished and I want to end the fight usually with a spinning kick straight to the head or an axe kick to the collar bone if you want your kata to work.in a real life situation then you have to train for it and use your kata in simulated situations

    • @desmondgray2019
      @desmondgray2019 5 років тому

      Yeah. I'm actually a 2nd Degree Zenshin Ki-Do Karateka of over 20 years. That kata was kushunku/kanku dai

    • @pepthebabslasonge2551
      @pepthebabslasonge2551 5 років тому

      @@bluehornet197 in karate, with most of your Kata's you have to perform for grading, you also have to perform bunkai of which(I assume you already know but) is a breakdown of the Kaya against an opponent. On topic: although you state you would never use taikwondo in a real fight, you will subconciesly be using many of its mentalities and teachings such as moving to the side to block an technique.

  • @ThatBeardedWhiteGuy
    @ThatBeardedWhiteGuy 6 років тому +8

    You underestimate the power of Vodkajitsu, they have awesome attacks like "comrade-punch" or the powerful "gulag-kick" !

  • @RickNadal
    @RickNadal 5 років тому +17

    YMCA: Young Men Christian Association

    • @JediWitness2
      @JediWitness2 4 роки тому

      I think it's Young Men's Club of America

  • @b0llos
    @b0llos 2 роки тому +1

    you're commentary is very funny. subscribed

  • @khaihh
    @khaihh 5 років тому +6

    4:06
    When you haven't brushed your teeth for 5 years...

  • @Regolith
    @Regolith 5 років тому +5

    THE CROSSED LEGS AT THE END LMFAO
    WHY DO THEY ALWAYS CROSS THE LEGS

  • @OmegaxPrime
    @OmegaxPrime 4 роки тому +6

    Easily one of my top 10 favorite videos of all time. These are amazing, do any of them have a promo with the local scientology chapter?

  • @stllda909
    @stllda909 4 роки тому

    Dude...LOL. This is the funniest commentary I've heard in a long time. Keep 'em comin'...LOL

  • @isiah_montoya9701
    @isiah_montoya9701 6 років тому +22

    This guy so funny commentating 😂

  • @frankkilama7826
    @frankkilama7826 5 років тому +12

    The last one was real. Neymar demonstrates this live on TV weekly

  • @sethdavis4461
    @sethdavis4461 6 років тому +43

    I is a black belt at a McDojo 🥋🍟🍔

    • @jawieceniza9137
      @jawieceniza9137 6 років тому

      The Surfing Salamander im a black guy in KFC.

    • @Bob-pk9jr
      @Bob-pk9jr 5 років тому

      How did u get the gi emoji

  • @jegan6537
    @jegan6537 4 роки тому

    you are the BEST I have been in martial art for 20 yrs, I have seen these Magical Moments so often,and unlike you , I bit my lip and walked away, You say what I have always wanted too. THANK YOU,

  • @minecraftepicness100
    @minecraftepicness100 6 років тому +32

    That ‘YMCA Dojo’ was actually doing a Kata for karate, specifically kata called Kushanku. The kata is unique to the wado ryu style of karate, it’s a combination of all previous katas of the style. I know this because I actually practice and teach this style. But the technique for all of the students is sloppy and the timing is way off. I can get 10 year olds to better synch up to these people

    • @Raptor767
      @Raptor767 6 років тому +1

      idk which of the ones in the video do you mean but everything there are all BS as fk

    • @norinradd1607
      @norinradd1607 6 років тому

      Meepomeepo the one at 3:15.
      I think he is right, but tbh I don't know shit.

    • @mishainutr
      @mishainutr 6 років тому +1

      Well, by my opinion at this point of desync and flaws in technique, they can do any kind of kata and it will look same....

    • @minecraftepicness100
      @minecraftepicness100 6 років тому

      5.56 - kata is useful as it allows the student to practice proper technique and form of a strike or block. Sure, you probably won’t use the exact form from a kata in a sparring match but in modern times, katas are more for demonstration of the specific martial art or style the kata is from

    • @Will-qv6es
      @Will-qv6es 6 років тому

      5.56 - Training kata is pretty fun, it is also incredibly useful. It allows you to perfect your technique in a non-sparring environment and helps you to get into an "empty mind" which is pretty essential to be a great fighter.
      Of course, you need to spar too, but just sparring can easily lead to sub-par technique.

  • @mikeyjames1000
    @mikeyjames1000 6 років тому +8

    Finally someone with great commentary!

  • @captain687
    @captain687 6 років тому +22

    The cringe is strong with this one

  • @adrianeboy87
    @adrianeboy87 6 років тому +27

    Commentator funny as hell.. Good work

  • @currysteak4980
    @currysteak4980 7 років тому +26

    'If i am fighting a kid i guess that would work' laughed so fcking hard at this xD

  • @lm2193
    @lm2193 5 років тому +29

    4:09 he should join Hollywood. wasted talent.

    • @0ldCat
      @0ldCat 5 років тому +2

      His gut almost tips him over, so he's leaning back to counter the gravitational pull of the lard sack 😂
      No Chi can handle that fat-ass gut 😐

  • @edward11762
    @edward11762 Місяць тому +1

    I fought many times drunk.. boxing. It's NEVER worked too well

  • @TrippedTheFuckOut
    @TrippedTheFuckOut 6 років тому +17

    3:30 i guess its the YMCA-McDojo!
    LOL

  • @davidantonsavage6207
    @davidantonsavage6207 4 роки тому +56

    YMCA = young men's christian association

    • @bendover2684
      @bendover2684 4 роки тому +4

      Fist of Jesus

    • @franco_spams-l2922
      @franco_spams-l2922 4 роки тому

      Christianity?? How does that have to do with this

    • @dolantrimp1691
      @dolantrimp1691 4 роки тому

      It's fun to stay at the young men's christian association.

    • @JediWitness2
      @JediWitness2 4 роки тому

      @@franco_spams-l2922 - It was founded on 6 June 1844 by Sir George Williams in London, originally as the Young Men's Christian Association and aims to put Christian principles into practice by developing a healthy "body, mind, and spirit"

    • @davidantonsavage6207
      @davidantonsavage6207 4 роки тому +1

      @@franco_spams-l2922 the guy doing the commentary, actually asks what YMCA stands for.

  • @itachixamaterasu2635
    @itachixamaterasu2635 6 років тому +14

    Commentary...too funny...oops I farted while laughing

  • @JayJam-y6o
    @JayJam-y6o 2 місяці тому +1

    Imagine teaching this to some defenseless person to be able to defend themselves and they go out and get killed by someone 😮😮😮. Should be put in jail.

  • @nisancashi2241
    @nisancashi2241 5 років тому +9

    the 36th chamber of vodka and meth

  • @BaliBaggins
    @BaliBaggins 7 років тому +21

    "I guess its the YMCA dojo" oh god im weak😂😂

    • @schouvler25
      @schouvler25 6 років тому +1

      Mr. Weed Ymca used to all have legit boxing schools until 2000s just saying

  • @rocrocwazere730
    @rocrocwazere730 6 років тому +15

    PCP makes you think your in UFC.

  • @auburtengland6275
    @auburtengland6275 4 роки тому +2

    This is so funny I can't stop laughing great commentary

  • @petkokrushev3840
    @petkokrushev3840 6 років тому +6

    Snake guy is really cool if you think it as a house dance :D

  • @warriorforchristourkingand9341
    @warriorforchristourkingand9341 6 років тому +4

    Watch your man do the "Voda Splash"...😲🍸😩🍶😪
    And then he does, not the krane, but he does "The Pigeon".
    Great video pal, some good laughs.
    From Dublin Ireland 🍀🍀🍀
    SHALOM 😇😇😇

  • @AaronJZY
    @AaronJZY 4 роки тому +7

    4:04
    Wow. That is scary stuff
    He had a heart attack when she started her form

  • @jeffdixon5853
    @jeffdixon5853 3 роки тому +1

    It's no wonder the Chinese got upset when karate and Kung Fu started to spread through the world.

  • @petercarlson811
    @petercarlson811 7 років тому +60

    2:30 He fucked up that box like a boss.

  • @wearefreesd3305
    @wearefreesd3305 7 років тому +36

    This guy trained Bruce Lee

  • @Hawkeye-ef4xf
    @Hawkeye-ef4xf 5 років тому +5

    Snake style Kung fu with the drunken Russian Herman Munster

  • @Heli4213
    @Heli4213 Рік тому +1

    You guys are so funny.
    Make more videos.
    You make my day

  • @gideonchanjiyan6541
    @gideonchanjiyan6541 4 роки тому +9

    Bro that wasn't Singaporean 😂😂. I'm insulted

  • @_chonkywoofwoof
    @_chonkywoofwoof 6 років тому +17

    4:00 the girl is dragonborn.

  • @idrnoel
    @idrnoel 7 років тому +24

    I am going to run out of diapers watching this. Hahahahaaaaaa

  • @derfel316
    @derfel316 8 місяців тому +1

    Dude? Aren't you concerned those masters will come and crush you with their kung foo?
    🙏🤜

  • @easternstrategist5276
    @easternstrategist5276 7 років тому +19

    I actually wonder where these "animal" or "drunk" styles come from. Being trained in China I will say the majority of pro fighters and practitioners train either Sanda, Muay Thai, MMA or traditional martial arts. For the traditional martial arts, they're usually Ba Ji Quan, Wing Chun, Xing Yi Quan and etc. I actually never see anybody train animal styles before.
    But it doesn't mean the word "animal" is shit because animal , as well as some other special words are usually used to name certain moves, which a lot of Asian martial arts do. Like raise up two hands to cover your head, which western boxers do a lot, we in Chinese call it "tiger covers head". Or striking the opponent by karate style punching and end up with a straight jumping elbow to the face, we call it the god from the heaven comes down. One more example, you can throw a jab and cross and then hook but intentionally miss it, meanwhile your lead leg step forward to hook your opponent's foot. Then your missing hook will lead you to the opposite direction, where you swing back your arm on the opponent while your lead foot that hooks the opponent moves as well. This should help you to take the opponent down. We call it "handling the dragon", but once again it has nothing to do with fight like a dragon.
    I dunno why when it comes to the outsider world it becomes fighting like animal or being drunk. WTF

    • @cvbpo
      @cvbpo 7 років тому

      King Yellow most of them style are used by monks most people look at them and call bs but they can be used in combat but like any thing it how u use them i even used some of the strikes when i use to fight

    • @easternstrategist5276
      @easternstrategist5276 7 років тому +1

      Dude, the best martial art school in China is Ta Gou, owned by the Shaolin monks, but you know what they teach in Ta Gou?Two things: 1: combat martial arts. 2: Tao Lu(Routine).
      For combat martial arts, they teach Sanda or Muay Thai (depends on which major you choose), with a little bit elements of Ba Ji Quan. The best of the students in this area will become professional fighters, taken by the city, province or national Sanda team or hired by pro martial arts chamiponships, like kickboxing or MMA.
      For Tao Lu (Routine), they do teach you to do all kinda fancy moves and non-firearms seen in the movies, and the students who practice this are those who are selected out from combat martial arts because they are too weak to be pro-fighters. If lucky enough some of them become "Kung Fu" stars to make a living. For example, Jackie Chen and Jeety Lee all come from the Tao Lu major in Chinese schools. But these people aren't real fighters. Everybody in China, including themselves know this for sure.
      No disrespect to the them and some of the Tao Lu moves do indeed work, like snapping the eyes, kicking the ball, headbutt or swing the stick. But in term of professional fight, there is no way they're capable of competing against others.

    • @easternstrategist5276
      @easternstrategist5276 7 років тому +2

      Again, most of "kung fu" that the westerners come to China to learn aren't for real fight.
      The truth is that the majority here in China either don't touch it or just watch it for fun in film.
      But because of money and the oriental point of view, "kung fu" or Tao Lu( Routine) sort of become the symbol of chinese martial arts. In my opinion, it's just ridiculous. There are a lot of martial art clubs that the westerners don't go to, but they rather head to some isolated mountain to learn from monks (some are real while some aren't).

    • @ssimon64
      @ssimon64 7 років тому

      King Yellow I think it comes from those old 70's chinese Kung Fu movies

    • @easternstrategist5276
      @easternstrategist5276 7 років тому

      Quite possible. That's when Jackie Chan became famous. As far as I heard, Jackie Chan was a pretty bad student in Tao Lu (Routine), but because he is a pretty boy and make a living in HK films, he sort of represents "Chinese martial art" to the outside world.

  • @rlittlefield2691
    @rlittlefield2691 4 роки тому +6

    I have found that most people who claim to know martial arts know nothing.

    • @qm38av1
      @qm38av1 4 роки тому

      My dad best up a white guy who said he was a 3rd degree black belt at a gas station . He didnt know my dad was golden gloves in the marines in 71 . Funniest thing ever

    • @captaincrum1
      @captaincrum1 4 роки тому

      I rem I used to do Tong Long and the shifu hit me lightly with his knuckle close up to demonstrate something and fuck me it's the hardest I have ever been hit....I'm very wary of other people teaching....I should prob go back there lol...seems like the real deal.

  • @DJEmirMixtapes
    @DJEmirMixtapes 4 роки тому +6

    Only in DUNE can they project their voice and kill like that :) Mua-Dibe

  • @josephlibrande
    @josephlibrande Рік тому +1

    I just discovered this channel. Where have you been all my life?

    • @FightCommentary
      @FightCommentary  Рік тому

      Glad you found me 😝 if you ever see funny clips, please send them my way 😝😝