INFP man married to an ESTJ woman for over 25 years. It’s been the best relationship I have ever been in! We tend to be good at the things the other person is less good at! It is because of her I finished grad school to work my dream career of being a therapist.
I had an ESTJ colleague that I disliked for at least a decade and the feeling was very mutual. When I became familiar with MBTI I recognized his value. We did not become friends but we were no longer felt resentful towards one another and actually felt comfortable with one another and were harmonious in an authentic sense.
Our inferior function is what we want to be good at ultimately but are often afraid of screwing up and so tend to avoid. If we always avoid what makes us afraid, we cannot grow as a person. For this reason, most of us don't achieve any sense of full enlightenment until we are much older in life, which is unfortunate. For ESTJ, they must grant themselves permission become that INFP philosopher they've always wanted to be. Unfortunately, it is quite common for aspirational personalities to clash, mainly because they are competing for the same inner desire (authority for ESTJ/INFP) and due to critic (6th slot) functions nitpicking the other's trickster (7th slot) which can feel unfair. I've found that making friends with the next closest personality to your aspiration but stick to the same sensor vs. intuitive divide can allow for a teacher role for both people to help grow into your inferior functions without the pressures of feeling judged for your mistakes as much. In the case of ESTJ that would be ISFP and for INFP, finding an ENTJ works surprisingly well.
I'm not a doctor, but many people seem to confuse extraverted iNtuition (Ne)'s excited brainstorming and focus on opportunities / possibilities / idea-space as ADHD.
Fellow INFP with inattentive ADHD here!! I believe there is some overlap but being an infp doesn’t mean someone has ADHD, but my god, my Te is screwed because of executive dysfunction AND my inferior Te haha, nice to see someone else in the same boat! :)
I am textbook definition of INFP functions and my main struggle right now is i want to pursue my art skills but i am so lost on how to get things done and how be disciplined. So yes i feel like my main struggle is Te and that requires the most energy. My sister for example is probably ESFP and yes she also struggles with her inferior Ni- when i talk with her about deep stuff she feels stressed, uncertain about future etc. One of her friends is probably ESTJ and yes she really gets a lot of stuff done but appears to be disconnected from what she feels, likes, and wants. I think MBTI really shows in our functions what is our main weakneses and working on that improves our lives to become better
That's exactly it. Each type has their struggles and strengths. Once we know them, we can find ways to model what other people are doing well (or notice what we don't want to do!). ^^
Hi matt, is it possible I can set a 1 on 1 consultation with you ? I just really don’t know what i want to do any want to talk to someone understanding about it.
INFP man married to an ESTJ woman for over 25 years. It’s been the best relationship I have ever been in! We tend to be good at the things the other person is less good at! It is because of her I finished grad school to work my dream career of being a therapist.
That's great. One of my very good friends of 21 years is an ESTJ. I've learned a lot from him!
My step-mom is an ESTJ too.
Everything you say applies so much to my ESTJ husband 😅
;)
I had an ESTJ colleague that I disliked for at least a decade and the feeling was very mutual. When I became familiar with MBTI I recognized his value. We did not become friends but we were no longer felt resentful towards one another and actually felt comfortable with one another and were harmonious in an authentic sense.
Our inferior function is what we want to be good at ultimately but are often afraid of screwing up and so tend to avoid. If we always avoid what makes us afraid, we cannot grow as a person. For this reason, most of us don't achieve any sense of full enlightenment until we are much older in life, which is unfortunate. For ESTJ, they must grant themselves permission become that INFP philosopher they've always wanted to be.
Unfortunately, it is quite common for aspirational personalities to clash, mainly because they are competing for the same inner desire (authority for ESTJ/INFP) and due to critic (6th slot) functions nitpicking the other's trickster (7th slot) which can feel unfair. I've found that making friends with the next closest personality to your aspiration but stick to the same sensor vs. intuitive divide can allow for a teacher role for both people to help grow into your inferior functions without the pressures of feeling judged for your mistakes as much. In the case of ESTJ that would be ISFP and for INFP, finding an ENTJ works surprisingly well.
Some of my INFP traits are the same as my inattentive ADHD traits. Is that a coincidence or are they related somehow?
I'm not a doctor, but many people seem to confuse extraverted iNtuition (Ne)'s excited brainstorming and focus on opportunities / possibilities / idea-space as ADHD.
Fellow INFP with inattentive ADHD here!! I believe there is some overlap but being an infp doesn’t mean someone has ADHD, but my god, my Te is screwed because of executive dysfunction AND my inferior Te haha, nice to see someone else in the same boat! :)
I am textbook definition of INFP functions and my main struggle right now is i want to pursue my art skills but i am so lost on how to get things done and how be disciplined. So yes i feel like my main struggle is Te and that requires the most energy. My sister for example is probably ESFP and yes she also struggles with her inferior Ni- when i talk with her about deep stuff she feels stressed, uncertain about future etc. One of her friends is probably ESTJ and yes she really gets a lot of stuff done but appears to be disconnected from what she feels, likes, and wants. I think MBTI really shows in our functions what is our main weakneses and working on that improves our lives to become better
That's exactly it.
Each type has their struggles and strengths.
Once we know them, we can find ways to model what other people are doing well (or notice what we don't want to do!). ^^
Hi matt, is it possible I can set a 1 on 1 consultation with you ? I just really don’t know what i want to do any want to talk to someone understanding about it.
I have a guest over for another 10 days so I have no availability…
schedule.geekpsychology.com
@@GeekPsychology Thank you matt, I will schedule soon!
Yikes. This should be interesting. ESTJs scare me, for obvious reasons... Let's see what this is about
What did you think? Any surprises?
Don't know what those letters mean and stand for. An a-hole will be an a-hole no matter how they are labeled
I wish I knew what the algorithm was doing lol