I'm sitting here in isolation again, feeling like poop. Just knowing i'm not the only one who feels this way cause my condition is comforting. Thank you for posting it helps more than you realize.
I‘m 36 and wasting my lifes summer like wasted my spring. And I don’t want to see autumn nor winter especially with no one to rely on. I hope you get better if not for yourself than for your loved ones they are there for you❤
I'm 37 and I have my husband and he's wonderful but I feel like such a burden, especially when I can't articulate what's wrong bc it's everything and nothing.
I'm watching this in my mental health clinic, waiting for an appointment that isn't set for another three and a half hours, all because I got so overwhelmed while setting up my ride that I didn't speak up about it being set so early in the morning. And I've got no snacks. My life feels like a circus.
glo i get it… i have bipolar, bpd, i think autism, cptsd, anxiety, ocd, depression, adhd, and i have also been having a horrible time the past few months for very similar reasons. you’re not alone at all and thank you for sharing and being real with us. i watch your videos and im going to share them with my bf because i relate to like 97% of everything you say.
I have bpd and autism combined and sometimes I totally isolate away because my communication is that bad and can't read people there tone etc end up exploding accusing people of all sorts cause I can't perceive them at all properly it's tiring always feeling like everyday you are trying for me life isn't natural everything seems to be a effort and I'm not great at routine either if things are planned and in stone I won't sleep etc and my pda kicks in I like zero plans zero commitment and like habinf freedom and choice I can't have a sleep routine from insomnia also waiting of adhd assessment to my brain is at war I want routine but that other side wants excitement I have ptsd off a alcoholic mother and abusive step dad also was alcohol dependent to and in rehab at 19 and I can honestly say your videos relate to me so much more as you have bpd and autism and I feel and think similar to you and it helps alot thank you seriosly for your content keep strong best you can buy therapy and medication in my experience doesn't help for my autism or adhd life is a serious drag with this
It’s the worst! I feel better today knowing I’m not alone and a bunch of people relate but it also makes me so sad because none of us deserve to feel this way 😭🩷🩵
Thanks for sharing Glo! I recently discovered I have (quiet) BPD and am struggling with depression, feeling suicidal and anxiety. The last few months have been the hardest ever and I’ve been suffering through mental and physical health issues for 14 years. It’s been really tough. You’re not alone! Hope you are feeling better now 🙏
I relate to a lot of what you said, except I'm not married, so don't have a husband (or wife), although I do have someone but that's a VERY long story, and partly the cause of someof my problems. I'm a lot older than you, but was only officially diagnosed with BPD 3 and a half years ago. I also suspect I could be on the Autism Spectrum as well. I won't go into my whole life story or I'd be here forever, lol, but just wanted to reach out and say thank you for sharing, and let you know that YOU are not alone either. And you're not just talking to the camera. Sending love & hugs, from Perth, Western Australia 😘💕🙏🌺
I don't know if you will read this extrem long comment and maybe it will not really be interesting but maybe.... I am in my thirties now and my life is better than ever. But it was a struggle to get here. I had a job for 10 years, my whole twenties and onto my thirties, and it made my life miserable. But I was too afraid to change it. I think it took me 3 years to be brave enough to quit. I was extremly isolated, I only lived online although without really interacting with anybody. Even online I was too afraid to make connections because I could not keep them. I still do not understand how people do that. At the beginning of this year I was officialy diagnosed with BDP. I suspect I'm autistic aswell. Since I acknowledged that I have problems with light and heat and I take precautions to regulate myself against these things I can, for the most part, controll my mood better. Some times I have to stop myself from measuring myself to standards of neurotypical people. I know I have to life in their world but I also know that living like them makes me unhappy. I had a huge problem with people pleasing, I never said no to almost anything. I did things I was not in the mood to do because I was afraid that people would not like me. Until I recognised that there will always be people that will not like me and if someone doesn't like me because I said no to something then I shouldn't need their validation anyway. Took sometime until that stuck though. I faked it till I made it. It's easier if you think it the other way around, I do not like all the people I meet, I can never like all of humanity. So it's fine if most people don't like me, we don't have to to make the world work. I have to say I think you tackeld your BPD and your autism more than I have. At the moment I'm good at ignoring it, I sweep it under the carpet you could say. But that ignoring broke me last year around this time so ... I know it's not the solution. And I'm afraid to tackle my BPD and getting my offical ASD evaluation. The imposter syndrome is strong in this regards. I would love to have a friend with whom I could dip in and out without a guilty conscience. I can't keep a friendship alive to save my life.
@@oliviachipperfield6029 To hear people say that and to listen to similar stories like mine really helps me not feel like an alien/crazy or anything similar negative I told myself I am or feel/felt. 😊
Thank you so much for taking time to share this with me and everyone in the comments. You’re not alone and so many of us relate to what you’re saying! When you said switch it around and think of it like I don’t like all people not all people don’t like me! Omg! I think that’s a game changer and I’m going to practise that in my life going forward and see if it makes a difference 🩷🩵
@@GLOsLife I hope it will help you. And I want to point out that I'm really impressed with all the work you put into your mental health. I think you should be proud of yourself in this regard. Even when you think you have to do it to survive (I hope I'm not going to far, but for me my [to be honest very short, for diffrent reasons] therapy sessions felt like they pulled me back into life.). Sometimes I think we put to much pressure on ourself, BDP and ASP, to be "normal" like the "rest" of the world. But what society sees as normal changes all the time.
same girl same, have eupd diagnosis (am half way through the process of an autism diagnosis) just started uni, 26 years old...feel like a weirdo...my dad died this summer...sometimes life is overwhelming
Oh god, you’ve been through so much, even just the last few years 😢 uni is really tough, there were so many times I wanted to drop out but I managed to make it through. Take advantage of mitigating circumstances, extensions and don’t see having to retake tests of exams as failing, you can do it! I’m so sorry for your loss. He’d be very proud of you 🩷
Could BPD be CPTSD with Autism? The symptoms overlap so much. If you are autistic, with complex trauma, it mimics “BPD” which I no longer accept as a diagnosis.
You’re so sweet, this made me smile! Thank you! I’m sorry you relate to this but it’s good to know we aren’t the only ones. I hope you’re managing and treating yourself 🩷
I'm in a fairly similar situation. I'm a 24 y/o male with diagnosed autism and undiagnosed bpd(possibly narcisism to be honest, I do think the two are similar). Just failed my masters degree semi-deliberately, cut all my friends off because I don't want them to see how much of a failure I've become, never had a relationship and currently can't seem to get a job. Feel suicidal most of the time and have for several years. I'm fairly sure I could get a job and a partner if I pulled my life together, but I just don't feel motivated - the job would be a mediocre one and the feel as though I'm not gonna be able to get a partner that I actually really like, I'd just be settling for less. Anyway, to be fair I think this video probably has helped a little as I do feel less alone.
‘I’m fairly sure I could get a job and a partner if I pulled my life together’. Do you know how many times I’ve had similar thoughts! I’m like all you need to do is just BE NORMAL!! But at the end of the day we aren’t the norm in society, and saying this to ourselves makes it our fault when it’s not. You didn’t choose to feel this way, or to have autism or bpd or whatever comes along with them both. Life is a weird thing and the best thing to do is to live it as your weird self because that’s how you find your people! I have no motivation which makes everything so much harder. Please just do what I’m trying to do and take it one day at a time. If today is shit maybe analyse why and then try again tomorrow with alterations! You got this!
I just got out of the ED today. I spiraled Friday night and started to SH. At first it was just to relieve pain and then it turned into intent to kill. Today, I'm, now I'm just angry with my sister who has now officially moved back into my house. Yay me. Even though I said no it's still happened and she's an addict and that's not good to be around. I guess I'm "better" because I am not sad but now I'm just pissed.
I am so sorry you’re experiencing this, if I could take all the pain away I would. Family is so beyond complicated and I feel your pain and anger! Sending you so much love and healing 🩷
@@GLOsLife Thank you. Being heard helps. When you feel like you've been ignored for all your life, to have people actually hear you and understand you goes an insanely long way. *Hugs*
You're as young as you're going to be. Today. You're 26, tomorrow you'll be 37, and then you'll be 44. Your life starts when you realize it is your life to live , not your dad's to exploit or your mother's to ruin. And maybe your UA-cam is helping people. Maybe, 😉❤
i obviously don't know your story, but saying that your relationships to your parents are your fault doesn't sit right with me. it's not their fault either if they couldn't be there for you the way you needed them. and the result of that might have let to you acting out in regrettable ways. but i don't think it was your fault. sending love.
I'm sitting here in isolation again, feeling like poop. Just knowing i'm not the only one who feels this way cause my condition is comforting. Thank you for posting it helps more than you realize.
I’m sorry you relate, it’s super poop :( sending you some virtual love and strength 🩷
I‘m 36 and wasting my lifes summer like wasted my spring. And I don’t want to see autumn nor winter especially with no one to rely on. I hope you get better if not for yourself than for your loved ones they are there for you❤
I wish you so much happiness 🩵
@@GLOsLife Tyvm 🙏at least we try our very best, from minute to minute from day to day I guess that is all we can do with bpd and in life.✌🏼
I'm 37 and I have my husband and he's wonderful but I feel like such a burden, especially when I can't articulate what's wrong bc it's everything and nothing.
I'm watching this in my mental health clinic, waiting for an appointment that isn't set for another three and a half hours, all because I got so overwhelmed while setting up my ride that I didn't speak up about it being set so early in the morning. And I've got no snacks. My life feels like a circus.
glo i get it… i have bipolar, bpd, i think autism, cptsd, anxiety, ocd, depression, adhd, and i have also been having a horrible time the past few months for very similar reasons. you’re not alone at all and thank you for sharing and being real with us. i watch your videos and im going to share them with my bf because i relate to like 97% of everything you say.
I have bpd and autism combined and sometimes I totally isolate away because my communication is that bad and can't read people there tone etc end up exploding accusing people of all sorts cause I can't perceive them at all properly it's tiring always feeling like everyday you are trying for me life isn't natural everything seems to be a effort and I'm not great at routine either if things are planned and in stone I won't sleep etc and my pda kicks in I like zero plans zero commitment and like habinf freedom and choice I can't have a sleep routine from insomnia also waiting of adhd assessment to my brain is at war I want routine but that other side wants excitement I have ptsd off a alcoholic mother and abusive step dad also was alcohol dependent to and in rehab at 19 and I can honestly say your videos relate to me so much more as you have bpd and autism and I feel and think similar to you and it helps alot thank you seriosly for your content keep strong best you can buy therapy and medication in my experience doesn't help for my autism or adhd life is a serious drag with this
I really appreciate you posting this - I’m also isolated and I didn’t imagine my mid-twenties being this way 💚💚💚
It’s the worst! I feel better today knowing I’m not alone and a bunch of people relate but it also makes me so sad because none of us deserve to feel this way 😭🩷🩵
This sounds almost exactly like my current situation.
Thanks for sharing Glo! I recently discovered I have (quiet) BPD and am struggling with depression, feeling suicidal and anxiety. The last few months have been the hardest ever and I’ve been suffering through mental and physical health issues for 14 years. It’s been really tough. You’re not alone! Hope you are feeling better now 🙏
I relate to a lot of what you said, except I'm not married, so don't have a husband (or wife), although I do have someone but that's a VERY long story, and partly the cause of someof my problems. I'm a lot older than you, but was only officially diagnosed with BPD 3 and a half years ago. I also suspect I could be on the Autism Spectrum as well.
I won't go into my whole life story or I'd be here forever, lol, but just wanted to reach out and say thank you for sharing, and let you know that YOU are not alone either. And you're not just talking to the camera.
Sending love & hugs, from Perth, Western Australia 😘💕🙏🌺
Same. Hope it gets better for you.
I don't know if you will read this extrem long comment and maybe it will not really be interesting but maybe....
I am in my thirties now and my life is better than ever. But it was a struggle to get here. I had a job for 10 years, my whole twenties and onto my thirties, and it made my life miserable. But I was too afraid to change it. I think it took me 3 years to be brave enough to quit. I was extremly isolated, I only lived online although without really interacting with anybody. Even online I was too afraid to make connections because I could not keep them. I still do not understand how people do that.
At the beginning of this year I was officialy diagnosed with BDP. I suspect I'm autistic aswell. Since I acknowledged that I have problems with light and heat and I take precautions to regulate myself against these things I can, for the most part, controll my mood better.
Some times I have to stop myself from measuring myself to standards of neurotypical people. I know I have to life in their world but I also know that living like them makes me unhappy.
I had a huge problem with people pleasing, I never said no to almost anything. I did things I was not in the mood to do because I was afraid that people would not like me.
Until I recognised that there will always be people that will not like me and if someone doesn't like me because I said no to something then I shouldn't need their validation anyway. Took sometime until that stuck though. I faked it till I made it.
It's easier if you think it the other way around, I do not like all the people I meet, I can never like all of humanity. So it's fine if most people don't like me, we don't have to to make the world work.
I have to say I think you tackeld your BPD and your autism more than I have. At the moment I'm good at ignoring it, I sweep it under the carpet you could say. But that ignoring broke me last year around this time so ... I know it's not the solution. And I'm afraid to tackle my BPD and getting my offical ASD evaluation. The imposter syndrome is strong in this regards.
I would love to have a friend with whom I could dip in and out without a guilty conscience. I can't keep a friendship alive to save my life.
Your story sounds really similar to mine 😊
@@oliviachipperfield6029 To hear people say that and to listen to similar stories like mine really helps me not feel like an alien/crazy or anything similar negative I told myself I am or feel/felt. 😊
Thank you so much for taking time to share this with me and everyone in the comments. You’re not alone and so many of us relate to what you’re saying!
When you said switch it around and think of it like I don’t like all people not all people don’t like me! Omg! I think that’s a game changer and I’m going to practise that in my life going forward and see if it makes a difference 🩷🩵
@@GLOsLife I hope it will help you.
And I want to point out that I'm really impressed with all the work you put into your mental health. I think you should be proud of yourself in this regard. Even when you think you have to do it to survive (I hope I'm not going to far, but for me my [to be honest very short, for diffrent reasons] therapy sessions felt like they pulled me back into life.).
Sometimes I think we put to much pressure on ourself, BDP and ASP, to be "normal" like the "rest" of the world. But what society sees as normal changes all the time.
Yes I can relate very much to what you are saying. Take care of yourself Glo, sending love your way.
Sending love to you too 🩷
I feel you!❤
Thank you for sharing this; it's truly helpful because you're not alone with those feelings, trust me
same girl same, have eupd diagnosis (am half way through the process of an autism diagnosis) just started uni, 26 years old...feel like a weirdo...my dad died this summer...sometimes life is overwhelming
Oh god, you’ve been through so much, even just the last few years 😢
uni is really tough, there were so many times I wanted to drop out but I managed to make it through. Take advantage of mitigating circumstances, extensions and don’t see having to retake tests of exams as failing, you can do it!
I’m so sorry for your loss. He’d be very proud of you 🩷
Could BPD be CPTSD with Autism? The symptoms overlap so much. If you are autistic, with complex trauma, it mimics “BPD” which I no longer accept as a diagnosis.
I agree
🙌
I don't agree. How the overlapping symptoms express themselves is extremely different
I feel you
It sucks big time! I’m sorry you’re experiencing this too :(
I’m not saying you qualify for AA or NA but you might find relief in their literature. Have a great day. Glad you found someone.
I relate in many ways. 😞 Sending you much love. It’s always good to see you Glo. ❤
You’re so sweet, this made me smile! Thank you! I’m sorry you relate to this but it’s good to know we aren’t the only ones. I hope you’re managing and treating yourself 🩷
Thanks, Glo ❤ ❤
Hope you're feeling better now
I'm in a fairly similar situation. I'm a 24 y/o male with diagnosed autism and undiagnosed bpd(possibly narcisism to be honest, I do think the two are similar). Just failed my masters degree semi-deliberately, cut all my friends off because I don't want them to see how much of a failure I've become, never had a relationship and currently can't seem to get a job. Feel suicidal most of the time and have for several years. I'm fairly sure I could get a job and a partner if I pulled my life together, but I just don't feel motivated - the job would be a mediocre one and the feel as though I'm not gonna be able to get a partner that I actually really like, I'd just be settling for less.
Anyway, to be fair I think this video probably has helped a little as I do feel less alone.
‘I’m fairly sure I could get a job and a partner if I pulled my life together’. Do you know how many times I’ve had similar thoughts! I’m like all you need to do is just BE NORMAL!! But at the end of the day we aren’t the norm in society, and saying this to ourselves makes it our fault when it’s not.
You didn’t choose to feel this way, or to have autism or bpd or whatever comes along with them both. Life is a weird thing and the best thing to do is to live it as your weird self because that’s how you find your people!
I have no motivation which makes everything so much harder. Please just do what I’m trying to do and take it one day at a time. If today is shit maybe analyse why and then try again tomorrow with alterations! You got this!
"My routine is no routine"
Big fat same here
I just got out of the ED today. I spiraled Friday night and started to SH. At first it was just to relieve pain and then it turned into intent to kill. Today, I'm, now I'm just angry with my sister who has now officially moved back into my house. Yay me. Even though I said no it's still happened and she's an addict and that's not good to be around. I guess I'm "better" because I am not sad but now I'm just pissed.
I am so sorry you’re experiencing this, if I could take all the pain away I would. Family is so beyond complicated and I feel your pain and anger! Sending you so much love and healing 🩷
@@GLOsLife Thank you. Being heard helps. When you feel like you've been ignored for all your life, to have people actually hear you and understand you goes an insanely long way. *Hugs*
You're as young as you're going to be. Today. You're 26, tomorrow you'll be 37, and then you'll be 44. Your life starts when you realize it is your life to live , not your dad's to exploit or your mother's to ruin. And maybe your UA-cam is helping people. Maybe, 😉❤
Am like that with my psychosis one day 1% aday
i obviously don't know your story, but saying that your relationships to your parents are your fault doesn't sit right with me.
it's not their fault either if they couldn't be there for you the way you needed them. and the result of that might have let to you acting out in regrettable ways. but i don't think it was your fault. sending love.