Take advantage of ExpressVPN’s Black Friday/Cyber Monday offer to get the absolute best VPN deal you’ll find all year! Use my special link www.expressvpn.com/kurtistown to get 4 extra months with the 12-month plan or 6 extra months with the 24-month plan totally FREE. That’s www.expressvpn.com/kurtistown to get an extra 4 or even 6 months of ExpressVPN for FREE!
As someone who doesn’t “present,” I’ve honestly started wearing rainbows to remind people that the biggest part of being gay isn’t being fem, it’s … 🌈being gay✨
I’m gay and my husband’s bi and there is nothing he loves more than when people ask if he’s gay and he gets to say “I’m not gay but my husband is.” And I kept thinking about that joke this whole video
@@ville-c4u haha you're so funny. haha gay people bad. people with intellectual disability bad. haha you're so cool and funny and awesome and i bet you have so many friends irl
i’m actually a child of an ssa LDS man lol. dad is fully gay, still married to my mom. turns out they’re just best friends who kinda got married out of convenience/because they were/are super mormon and that’s the lifestyle they were taught to follow. hence, me and my two siblings. that was crazy ass dad lore to find out as a 15 year old years ago lmfao
is it weird of me to ask how that made you feel? i’m always curious about how the children feel in these situations. don’t need to answer if you don’t want to! hope your family is doing good.
@@CoffeeCriminal they still can have steamy times with the opposite sex, not necessarily must be artificial insemination involved 😂 I am a "SSA" and I have been with women casually without issue.
Has this ever made you feel like you were just a convenience child? A lot of people don’t love each other but still have children but you’re different and this insight might be useful.
man the “I don’t feel like a fit the mold of guys who are attracted to men other than my deep love for broadway show tunes and the attraction to males” quote would be such a good one liner in a musical
"I don't identify with being gay except for having perhaps the most stereotypically gay hobby, oh and also I like to do gay stuff in my free time. That too"
The way all of them often go on vacations with other men and "come back happier" is both hysterical and depressing. It's giving real life Brokeback Mountain.
"Not Gay, SSA" is a crazy slogan for the Social Security Administration, but then again, I don't have a Bachelors in business & marketing, so what do I know?
Exactly but unfortunately people like this exist, I remember when I first came out as bisexual and was told it’s not real and just greedy and people are only gay or straight. I’m glad people are becoming more accepting of bisexuality because there is still a lot of stigma especially towards bisexual men but I am thankful I can now be proud of who I am and not have to feel ashamed despite what other people think of my sexuality.
These men are NOT bi-sexual. I bet they would love to be bisexual but the truth is that they are only sexually attracted to men period. I feel sorry for their wives. How sad to have a partner that doesn't really want you, just tolerates you for the sake of religion.
It exists, but for most LDS people, being bisexual is like the diet version of the gay struggle. You “experience same sex attraction” but you get (read: have) to commit to an opposite sex partner for time and all eternity. The framework is that same sex attraction is a temptation to sin, not an intrinsic quality of who you are as a person. So for bisexuals it’s “easier” in the LDS framework…you simply opt to avoid and ignore any potential attraction you have to a member of the same sex. Source: bisexual and ex Mormon.
It is sad. The even sadder fact is that people who think and behave this way often times choose to make the lives of other gay people (especially those who are proudly out) more difficult. Larry "Wide Stance" Craig comes to mind. There's nothing wrong with being closeted, but even when I was closeted I still spoke out against homophobic rhetoric.
I've always thought of Kurtis to be a very down-to-earth person. But this video messed with me a little bit. He was rambling on for 26 minutes about how dumb Mormons are for living like this, yet he takes no effort to explore some of the amazing things about the religion. And people who post purely judgemental comments like yourself are exactly the same. You have no clue what goes on behind the scenes and why people try so hard to make their religion work out. Because they've seen incredible things, and lived their life as amazing people purely because of the way this religion works
I'm not saying there's not holes like there is with all things made or restored by man, but people looking at the LDS church from an outside perspective only care to be critical, and don't talk about the enormous amount of money they give to charity, the pure kindness that so many of them show, and the support they give to the less fortunate (including members of LGBTQ).
My mans is killing it with the comedy. Now if only he'd tone down the needless feminist pandering, we'd be golden. Edit: Before you call me a misogynist, read my explanation below as to what I meant by feminist pandering.
This show is absolute proof for conservative Christians that being gay is not a choice. Everything about these men's lives is telling them not to be gay, and yet they still are.
Gay is no more of a problem in Argentina than any else in the world. People are people. Stupid thing to say, I know most Argentines are more advanced to let a stupid comment bother them.
I feel sorry for everyone involved, the men who were taught self loathing and hatred and the women who have learned to value themselves so little, that they would accept being with a man who can never truly love them, it's just tragic.
Yes, this is exactly what i thought the entire time. Like if you really love your wife (platonically speaking at least) wouldn’t you want her to be with someone who truly like and cares about her?
Yeah the other ken the other channels reaction had the most r*traded takes ever "she thinks she's the victim" like she isn't??? They're the ppl who would always find excuse for abusive boyfriend or husbands, but super liberal/leftist on social media platforms
When I came out my mom made me read a book about suppressing ssa to save your relationship with god. Set me on the right path, and today I’m a proud gay atheist.
yeah, Brett(?) at 10:05 or so saying that maybe he would be gay if the church accepted it broke my heart. he sounds so sad and it sounds like his voice is shaking. I hope he finds a way to accept himself somehow, even though I know that's not possible fully where he is. I feel so sorry for all of these guys and their wives genuinely.
As an ex-mormon who is also gay, this shit is genuinely horrific. It leads to depression and suicide. Utah has a frighteningly high suicide rate and this type of shit is part of that. When I came out to my mom she literally showed me a "Gay Mormon" who had a blog about living like this in the hopes that I would consider it. Thankfully, that guy eventually came to terms with the fact that he was fucking miserable and left his wife for a man (which actually didn't even destroy their family, they worked out a dynamic to still raise their kids together. It all worked out!) and he also wrote up an apology for his blog, because promoting this to young gay people in the church is SO FUCKING HARMFUL. It's infuriating. I hate it so much.
yeah genuinely horrific. My partner is ex-Mo. There's all this language about "we accept gays" that non LDS people hear but it doesn't mean what they think it means. It means suppressing your humanity and living a fake identity that is harmful for all involved. The women in this video who are talking about how happy they are is because they're taught they're worthless unless you are sealed to a man who can secret handshake you into LDS heaven. That said... on an individual level i know a lot of LDS/Mormon people who aren't like this and accept the gay/trans/etc. people in their families but are afraid to speak up. It's messed up. Glad you are ok.
Hell, I had an identity crisis when I could no longer deny that I was gay and I wasn't even confronted with homophobia in my family, at school or among my friends. It was just becaise nobody thought to tell me that being gay is an option that exists, is accepted and that I'm not the only one at my age in my region feeling that way, that was all! Finding out you're different after you've been(unintentionally) made to believe that there's only heterosexuality is confusing and scary enough, I can't imagine how terrifying it must to be to find out you're not straight in a social environment, where not being straight means losing your family, your reputation and possibly losing your freedom (threat of incarceration) and safety (threat of violent injury or death)! 😢😭
@willowwinkle An awful amount of straight people seem to genuinely think that this "accepting homosexuality as long as it isn't acted upon" BS was a friendly and tolerant stance and that gay people could happily live in accordance to it. They simply lack the empathy or care to realize that they're asking people with normally distributed sex drives to live in complete abstinence, which is something they themselves would never accept - let alone live happily with - if they had to follow that advice themselves! 🤦 ...or they're all just evil and only pretend to genuinely think this, so can keep up a tolerant and inclusive facade. Some of them sure do, but I don't think they're the majority.
Tom was my high school AP teacher. I’m losing my mind. People used to talk about this show in school but this is the first time i’ve actually seen it. He’s actually a great guy and teacher one of the best ones i remember from high school.
Tom was my gf's teacher too when this episode aired! She said that apparently whenever kids would try to ask him about the show, he would usually reply "the school asked me not to talk about it...."
Wait, people talked about the show in general and you're just now finding out your teacher was on it? Or people talked about him being on it while you were in school?
@@timnimigean8971people talked about him being on this show. but it was more of a “haha our teachers on a show called ‘my husbands not gay’” not in a crazy scandal way if that makes sense
The original translation was “man shall not sleep with man,” but there’s been a more recent translation of “man shall not sleep with YOUNG man,” which makes WAY more sense
It makes a lot more sense when you think about christianity trying to differ from roman and greek costums and beliefs. The greek had a custom that tutors would lay with their adolescent trainees or older rich men with junger men who were not as high in the social system, this translated into marriages with women too, they were awfully young for the most part while their husbands were in their 30s. The romans on the other hand did not consider it cheating when men slept with slaves (men or women), cause slaves were not considered human/important enough the duality is funny to note: some slaves were pretty high up in the social ladder. Anyways, for young ppl having a tendency to be more attractive, those pairings were similarly to greek pairings: Old dudes on young dudes. Both patricipants being the same age was being frowned upon in those cultures as well - was a dominance/power thing. That's why christianity was all about this specific old on young men relationships in the book. Considering that marriages of pretty young women was still a thing, the intention was clear here I think - but of course everyone and their mothers have their own opinions on the bible.
The “problem” with homosexuality in the Judaic/Greco-Roman sexual ethic is that the man is in a submissive dynamic. It is equally sinful for a woman to be on top during heterosexual intercourse. This is also why woman-woman relationships are never litigated (they are of inferior social status). The sexual social construct of the time was one of domination and social status, so the idea of a man being dominated was what was considered taboo.
@@Maeniel83I believe the specific law they're talking about is from Leviticus, long before Greece or Rome- but it was in a section about specifically setting themselves apart from the people of Egypt. There are other verses where Paul is clearly condemning the Roman practice you mention (pederasty), though. Unfortunately, those verses usually just get translated as condemning any homosexuality at all, because that's just the world we live in, I guess.
@@jijitters you are just looking for a reason to hate straight people at this point. if you dont understand the reason he said that you are kinda lost, its not a coming out
My church pastors tried to make me do something like this when I admitted I was attracted to men. They gave me pamphlets on SSA, and they even tried to get me to go to conversion therapy. My youth pastor became obsessed with my sex life, asking me super intrusive, inappropriate questions... all while I was under 18 When I told them I was uncomfortable with those options, they outed me to the whole congregation via the prayer requests journal. In a moment of vulnerability and honesty I was shamed and called disgusting. They acted as if I had some sort of disease. In regards to my belief in god, the cracks started to show years before, but this was the breaking point for me. Seeing this issue made into a TV show for shits and giggles is honestly so heartbreaking.
Reading your story was also heartbreaking. It's like how anti-trans campaigners want bio sex bathrooms, motherfucker, are you the one who will be insisting on checking women's genitals before they pee? WTAF. It's hard when we think things are getting better but the backlash to that progress takes us back 60 years as a society. Stay strong fellow resident of Kurtistown. Much love to you ❤❤
I am so, so sorry you went through such spiritual and emotional trauma, and through such a difficult time in general with your sexuality. I hope you're healthy and happy and living for you.
former mormon here... they were still doing conversion therapy as late as 2006, because they did it to me. They sent me to a camp and shock therapy, and when I said I still had feelings of being attracted to women, they excommunicated me and my family disowned me. FYI this happened over 15 years ago, I'm doing much better now but the camp they sent me to is still running and operational in Arizona.
I am so sorry you went through that. Especially sorry that your family made the wrong choice. But, absolutely happy to hear you are doing better these days.
so f'ing disgusting. its very good to hear you were able to get through it. we have to hope that these places get shut down and families realize how horrible they are being, but in the US its probably unlikely and that kills me.
I have former morman friends who left more recently and they were still doing it then. I also went to college in Indiana in 2015, and there was a convertion therapist's office a few blocks from campus. I'm so sorry you went through, and im glad you're no longer being forced into that type of torture.
When I came out my mom told me that she thought women were attractive in college but she stayed true to gods plan and avoided those “sinful desires”. It was something she had to “overcome”
My wife and I are openly queer, and the amount of "straight" friends we have that have told us about suppressing their feelings because of judgement is insane!
Everyone is gonna respond "bisexual erasure" but its obvious these men are gay and because bisexual is slightly more acceptable by like 1% to their homophobic community. If they said they only liked men it would be "worse" for them so they have to soft launch it (seen this in real life too and yes they came out as 100% gay. The whole story is insane)
I live in Utah and have a gay LDS coworker. He’s been in a monogamous same-sex relationship for 2 years now, but says that his dream is to get married to a woman and start a family. I told him he can just as easily start a family with the man he’s dating (or some other man he would want to marry), but he thinks that having a family with another man would be “wrong.” It makes me feel bad for him (and the man he’s decided to leave eventually, and the woman he will marry who will be trapped in a loveless marriage) and other brainwashed people like him :( it truly destroys their lives and happiness
If you watch Jimmy snow's videos he breaks down the brain washing. It was hard for me to accept myself growing up it was wrong to even have those feelings at all the feeling being okay is a recent change. I hope he decides to truly accept himself but in the church he may never do so.
No one's forcing them to stay there. They can always leave. I'm sorry but I don't feel sorry for free people that choose to chain themselves. If he was in a Muslim country I'd understand his plight
@@ceoatcrystalsoft4942one is in a relationship suppressing their sexuality (and probably having affairs and/or hating themselves) and the other is in a relationship with someone who doesn’t desire them. And then the conversation therapy…
What is so heartbreaking to me about these kinds of relationships is the idea that neither person really gets to feel fulfilled in the relationship. The man never gets to be himself and the woman doesn’t get to have a husband attracted to her. That’s just a bummer all around. The delusion on both sides.
maybe not in some ways, but there's still the emotional fulfillment of a best friend and lifelong confidant, as well as the fulfillment of having a family together.
Yeah, but as an outsider looking in at these relationships, I don't think these men think of their wives as best friends, let alone lifelong confidants.
@@pungetello I suspect you are aroace? People who experience sexual and/or romantic attraction would not feel fulfilled in relationships where they are denied those things. I know ace people especially don't like hearing this and can't bring themselves to understand it, but most people expect sex and sexual satisfaction to be a major factor of their relationships and it does not feel like a true relationship without it. When a non-asexual person is in a relationship and feels like their partner is not attracted to them, it is a major source of unhappiness, and it does significant harm to their self-esteem. I know it is very difficult for ace people to put themselves in this mindset since it seems to not be the same for them but this is so significant for most people that it is a common reason for breakups, cheating, divorce, and general unhappiness in relationships. Your partner finding your attractive, and you finding your partner attractive, is vital to most non-ace relationships. It's incredibly rare for romantic & sexual preferences to completely misalign, so almost certain it means they aren't romantically attracted to them either, and one is bad enough but lacking both sounds like torture. Those wives probably never truly feel loved by their husbands.
@jijitters I get what you're saying, but I honestly believe that thinking that way is detrimental to everyone, regardless if they're aro, ace or neither. It's also unfair and reductive to assume that someone who thinks like op must be aro/ace and just doesn't “get it.” I think people need to examine why they feel they *need* to be in a romantic relationship, and why their self-worth is so dependent on the subjective attraction of others. People can have happy and fulfilling lives without romantic relationships, but oftentimes society's emphasis on romance means that romantic relationships are always, *always* prioritized over friendships, and people are never willing to be as emotionally vulnerable with a friend they've had for years than a romantic partner they've been dating for a month. It's honestly sad how often people overlook the people already in their life because they can't see themselves as happy without a romantic partner, to the point where they'd rather stay in a toxic relationship than be without a romantic partner.
@@Cabdulahi_Somali So you sent him to conversion therapy and now he's too traumatised to be himself, he'll never be truly happy, and he'll never forgive you. Great job. Not.
As an exmormon who is out and gay, when I came out I was like I cant do both. and at the time my family they were fine with me being gay but me leaving the church and choosing to act on it was what they had a hard time reconciling. It has been a couple years now and they have really grown to see that me being who I am is the best that could've happened and I am getting to see my mom entering a "supportive cringe" mom of a gay kid stage and its really fun. I am really lucky but they still are all members and that def still has a toll. But I am so glad i didn't have to have my SSA conversation with my church leaders etc. it would've been even more harmful for me.
this is my worst nightmare: to be doomed in a marriage and to be trapped in a religion where it's essentially "we always love you and accept you" with an invisible gun held to your head that can't let you be fully yourself and accepted. it's even more putrid TLC thinks it's entertaining enough to profit of their misery.
I second this. This is also my worst nightmare. I’m not religious, but I go to a private Catholic school that is predominantly conservative. In my religion class, we talk about politics and social issues such as “homosexual behavior” and “transgenderism.” It absolutely disheartens me every single time we talk about this because my school treats these normal human things as a disease or something to be cured (ESPECIALLY when it comes to being transgender). For example, my religion teacher compared “struggling with homosexual behavior” to “struggling with alcoholism.” It’s absolutely disgusting and it scares me to think that my ignorant classmates are being “educated” like this and will grow up to be hateful and full of bigotry.
@@ashleypisartsdayum. This is why I believe organized religion should be a thing of the past already. Never seen one that isn’t at least a little cult-y!
Reminds me of how they exploited jazz Jennings and putting her in situations that left her vulnerable to transmisogynists. That shit has had a big effect on her and it pisses me off
Fun fact: Rams have a weirdly high rate of homosexuality, and then scientists wondered why they didn't see a bunch of lesbian sheep. They realized the mating ritual of female sheep is to stand perfectly still. Now we have the joke term Lesbian Sheep Syndrome
I’m ex Mormon and all of my family who live in the same state are Mormon too. I’m also bisexual and non-binary. How I identify was a huge reason why I left the church. I always felt so angry when people would say that it was fine to be gay but never to get married or be in a relationship with somebody you’re actually attracted to
As someone who used to be like this, it is truly a miserable existence. I chose to date a man for several years to get acceptance from my family (not Mormon, but Muslim) and the saddest part is that it worked. They were nicer, more helpful when I struggled, more supportive, and didn't treat me like my existence was a plague anymore. But I was still miserable. I hated being with him, I hated myself because I could never believe it when I'd lie about being happy, I hated the praise from my family for "fixing" myself, I was constantly seeing people happily out and wishing I could be like them, and constantly wishing I was born "right." I constantly had to fight the urge to take myself off this planet. The worst part was people giving him sympathy for "being stuck with someone who doesn't love him" even though he knew since day 1 that I wasn't attracted to men and used my family situation to get to me. I truly hope those men got out okay and were able to accept who they are. It took years for me to finally embrace being a lesbian and I am SO much happier now. My family does still try to convince me to go back to living in the closet but luckily I'm stronger now and can tell them to fuck off.
I hope you’re in a better place in your life now. Never compromise on who you are, if you do, you’ll never know true acceptance. You’ll only be keeping the peace temporarily. Stay strong!
Sincerely good for you for staying true to who you are and making that decision to live a life authentic to yourself and who you love. That takes a lot of courage and you should be proud that you were able to make that happen.
I have a similar situation. I came out at 14 but have been basically forced back into the closet. Luckily my family only wants to think about forcing me to marry when im 27. Im 20 rn and working hard to get my own appartement. Does it ever get better? Im dreading losing my whole family. I have been since I realized i wasn’t straight.
The saddest part about this is that both parties in those relationships are suffering. The men can't live their truths and the women aren't loved. The most telling part is how most of the wives were told and then convinced by their husbands that "SSA relationships" were a good and normal thing and that they should just accept it. They're all brainwashed into accepting misery and it's so sad.
I think the only relationship that is hurt is Jeff and Tanya's, at least from the recaps I've seen on UA-cam. Jeff shows more attraction to males than females, and he has had a "close call" situation. That makes me think that he's gay but in denial. Coming out to their wives as bisexual wouldn't be a big deal in any other context but apparently it is when you're religious.
@@mikamattaa8547 I don't think bisexuality is something that the LDS Church really acknowledges. If a person is attracted to someone of the same gender, they're "SSA." If they ever act on that "SSA" they're "gay," whether or not they also experience attraction to the opposite gender.
Yeah, I was a little disappointed that Kurtis never mentioned how awful it would presumably be for those wives. It's possible that some of them are, themselves, queer. So it could be a lavender marriage kind of situation. Some of those women could be asexual, and therefore perfectly happy to forgo an active sex life. However, I'm guessing that for the most part, Mormon women in their situation are simply just deeply repressing their own sexual desires. While sexual coercion is supposed to be forbidden, LDS also teaches the standard conservative Evangelical thing of the wife's body belongs to the husband, and the husband's body belongs to the wife. That would technically mean that the wife should have access (sexually) to her husband as she pleases. In addition, the church holds that masturbation is a way of being unfaithful to the spouse. So there's no proper Mormon way of gaining sexual satisfaction _other_ than partnered sex between husband and wife. I can't imagine how one of these "SSA marriages" would work without plenty of self-pleasure on the parts of both spouses. I guess it comes down to whether the LDS church hates gay people more than all of their other text-based sex rules. I think they chose hating gay people.
1:07 this reminds me of the boxer Emile Griffith who was Bi, during a boxing match in 1962 he k illed his opponent Benny "Kid" Paret in the ring. He said "I kill a man and most people understand and forgive me. However, I love a man, and to so many people this is an unforgivable sin; this makes me an evil person"
holy fuck i didn't know about this. This guy called him a f*g repeatedly, and then he beat him so hard he had to go to the hospital later, and died there. Then griffith had nightmares for 40 years about it. What the actual fuck.
there’s a WW1 or WW2 veteran gravestone that says “they gave me a medal for killing a man, and a dishonorable discharge for loving one.” breaks my heart every time i remember it
“i was certainly born with some homosexual attractions but what we say is ‘there’s still a choice in our behavior’” is code for “i knew i was gay since i was born and showed signs so the people around me brainwashed me into thinking its a choice” i hope they all free themselves of this 😭
wow, I started watching kurtis when I was still in the mormon church and "struggling with SSA", and now years later ive left the church and accepted myself and now kurtis makes this video! weirdly healing and crazy how life goes lol
"The most supportive, most homophobic people ever" so accurately describes mormons. I grew up in the mormon church, and knew I was a lesbian around age 16ish. I stayed in the church until I was 19, and reconciling my queer identity with the beliefs I was raised to have was some insane mental gymnastics. I was never kicked out of anything, never yelled at or abused, but there was this expectation that either I would grow out of it, or that I would "have faith" or whatever and marry a man anyways. Thanks for covering the topic, and making fun of these guys in a more respectful way than some! A lot of people mock mormons incessantly without realizing that while they chose to be like that, many of them have been indoctrinated from birth, and many do not have a safe way to leave, so some commentary/comedy around them just feels like people laughing at my trauma. This one was good.
Ex mormon from Utah here! I had some bad memories watching these people try to negotiate being themselves or being in the church- I attempted to take my life when I was 16 because i was so hopeless of the thought of having to marry a man to make my family love me. I realized I was a lesbian and decided to leave the church, no matter how much my family would shun me for it. It’s still hard but I left Utah and it’s been so much better not being in a culture so hell bent on repressing anyone who is different
What makes me really itchy inside is that what they’re doing is the same cognitive behavioral therapy used for OCD, it’s genuinely awful to use something so helpful and twist it into suppressing a normal and healthy part of yourself
This was kinda what I had been thinking about as I kept watching and had been hoping to see others who had noticed! Although it really did make it feel all the more painful to see especially as an LGBTQIA+ person with OCD myself…
This was actually very useful. I recently moved to Utah for work and have been so bewildered by the “gay is a choice” vernacular. I’ve been in so many arguments saying “obviously it isn’t. Is being attracted to men/women a choice for YOU?” Until seeing this video, I did not clock that they see same sex attraction and gay as independent things: SSA refers to feelings which cannot be helped; being “gay” is “acting on it” and this is the part that they see as a choice. This newfound comprehension gives me a route to arguing better in my role as an ally in Utah. Thank you!
To be honest, I’m not personally a fan of the common rhetoric of gayness being a born trait either. It makes it sound like homosexuality (whether that be attraction or behaviour) should be accepted because “it can’t be helped” and treats it as an affliction that doesn’t happen out of one’s agency - rather, I think we should accept sexuality regardless of whether the homosexuality ultimately stems from nature or nurture I’m not sure what the scientific consensus on being gay is, ie. as being the result of nature or nurture or a mix of both, but given that there are cases of trauma or upbringing affecting sexual desire and behaviour, it feels wrong to rely on it being an innate trait as a justification for it being right (I don’t know if I conveyed that well, but I sometimes think, what if I’m gay because of certain experiences I went through? Would that not be acceptable if it was actually a choice?”). I think ultimately we shouldn’t be using scientific or religious reasoning for lgbtq acceptance. can’t it just be out of respect for human difference?
@@matchasketch8224the scientific consensus is that nature plays more of a role than nurture. I get that these explanations might make you feel uncomfortable but that’s no reason to deny established scientific facts.
@@matchasketch8224 from an allyship point of view, I think the safest thing is to assume that whether it is innate/genetically determined or a result of early childhood, hormonal, or other factors, research bares out that it is not a conscious “choice” that people make, nor is it malleable in most situations, and it can be extremely harmful to try to force change. Typically this discussion is being had with people who believe that being gay IS a conscious choice, and moreover, it’s a harmful and toxic choice. Having the “well, we should accept sexuality in other people regardless of whether it’s genetically determined” is pointless because they do not believe there is any genetically determined sexuality except for cishet marriages anyways. They’ll often get offended if you call humans “animals” and they don’t believe in evolution. So if taking the position it’s genetic helps them understand that it may not be a conscious and malicious choice, and may even be an intentional piece of God’s design, I say go for it.
I dated a girl before I realized I was gay and it’s the most frustrating thing to go through because it felt like I had a heart of stone. Like no matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t reciprocate in the way she could. Every “I love you” felt like a hollow lie and I felt like I was constantly pretending. There’s no doubt in my mind that this is what these guys are going through, and to think that they’re planning on living their lives like that is really sad.
“If it WAS accepted to be a homosexual in the church, would I be gay? Maybe 8 or 9 years ago, 10 years ago? The answer would be yes.” That absolutely shattered me. Not being able to express who you really are, not being able to love who you want to love, all while essentially lying to yourself - out of the fear of your OWN beliefs? It sounds miserable.
insert (not so funny) self flagellation joke here. I mean, maybe they're also closeted masochists? "Not that there's anything wrong with that." - Seinfeld
The fact that if he was not to be damned to a place they said he would go he would do it shows he's only doing it for fear. Even in the end he never says what HE wants but what GOD wants and that's just Bro.
I grew up in a Christian church and it was always hammered into us that it's okay to have same sex attraction provided you NEVER EVER act on it. Your options are being single for life or marrying the opposite sex. That's all. We even had one service where they paraded this poor lesbian in front of all of us and she basically bawled through her whole "testimony" about how she was attracted to women but trying to follow "God's law" by not acting on her feelings. Agonized, in front of a judgmental crowd, about why God would give her these feelings and then condemn her to be alone forever instead of having a family. The worst of course was when the pastor then COMMENDED HER for being such a good example of a Christian for not "giving in to sin." It absolutely messed me up. Years later I found the love of my life--a woman--and I am now the black sheep of my family. Religion does a lot of damage to people like us.
My gay male cousin is married to a lesbian wife (because being queer is not really accepted in our country and they want to keep the peace) but they have a really good and healthy friendship, and plan to introduce their respective partners to any future kids as "auntie"/"uncle". It's honestly very wholesome. This is just sad lol
That’s called a Lavender marriage! It used to be suuuuper commonplace in the queer community, especially for public figures whose relationships are highly scrutinized, like Hollywood actors and actresses.
@@UltraCheesecakeFace Did not know there was a name for that. Actually a smart choice if you got the option. I could never have a Kid with her though.😅
@@maximumrisk2004 In real-world lavender marriages, when there are kids involved, the biological parentage of the kids may not be limited to the couple in question. And often the kids grow up in a sort of blended family consisting of their lesbian mother, their gay father, and their respective partners (who may be married to each other as well). It's something you also see sometimes in polyamorous families, since most countries don't allow for legal plural marriage (more than two spouses). Lavender marriages aren't without issues, and there can be jealousy and more significant disagreements. However, for a long time, it was the only way for non-straight people to obtain the societal and financial benefits of marriage.
@@maximumrisk2004 I think they don't have to have a child by having sex with each other, they can use another method. I think it would be sweet for them to have children, but having the woman be a surrogate for her husband and his boyfriend, and the husband can be a sperm donor for his wife and her girlfriend. That way they can have children who have two dads and two moms, they would all be related, and they could have a big blended family! Although I really hope that one day soon they can be free to openly be themselves without fear
as a bisexual woman who was raised mormon (and is still figuring out how i work with religion), i can confirm that “the most supportive, homophobic people you’ll ever meet” is a pretty accurate description
hey can I just say, as a nonbinary and lgbtq-ally lds person, I appreciate you figuring out how to work being bi with religion. If I'm reading that correctly, (am I reading that correctly?) I don't see many people like that. It makes me sad that most people I see are either all-or-nothing, but still either way misunderstand they can be religious AND non-stereotypically christian in the bad way. But I guess it could get pretty contradictory. I wish you the best!
@@pmasonl yes, you’re exactly right!! it took me a very long time to find a balance between the two and i even left the church for a while. i’m glad to have found a way to coexist (a way that is FAR less extreme than what this video shows- i think a very large problem within the church is many people taking “doctrine” as an excuse to be outrightly hateful and discriminatory towards others and i don’t believe that hiding or going against who i am is beneficial to anyone- not to myself, not to anyone in the church, and certainly not to god) but it had definitely taken me a long time to get there. thank you for making it a priority to love people as jesus does. i wish you the best too!!
As a gay guy who grew up in a church that taught us that homosexuality is a sin, and is still struggling with internalized homophobia, this show is honestly pretty horrific and depressing, and I appreciate the tactful blend of humor and empathy Kurtis shows here. Luckily my parents have accepted me and aren’t as religious anymore, but I shudder to think what life would be like if they hadn’t
I had a friend in high school whose parents were extremely conservative and homophobic. They had 3 gay children. They are no longer conservative or homophoic
bro im losing my mind, not nearly enough people are talking about this😭 and like why did he get an american accent all of a sudden but somehow his canadian accent got stronger
I'm suprised they joke about that considering they unanimously agreed that they *shouldn't* be getting any wieners but I guess for the show you gotta tease it out a little bit
I remember my first understanding of this was 10 years ago when I was a senior in high school and this other guy told me “I’m probably gay but it’s against my religion to live in that way. What’s important is to not live in sin; to choose not to sin in that way. Urges aren’t sinful but acting on those urges is.” My heart BROKE for him. I was like.. oh?
The worst part is that isn't even what evangelical or fundamentalist Christianity teaches. In the Bible, Jesus literally says that thinking about the thing is as bad as doing it. It's a breeding ground for OCD.
We don’t know what’s good for us- since the beginning of time we’ve tried to do whatever we wanted and it would end in failure. Just because it’s happened forever or replicated by animals doesn’t mean that it is right because human sin has always existed Jesus loves you and wants best. But please for the love of goodness gracious become aaare that you don’t know what’s best for you in the same way a child reaches for boiling water- and know that maybe people are messed up at love- but He isn’t . I’m sorry if it sounds offensive I just wanted to clarify that the Bible and it’s Spirit that wrote it do assert forms of opposite sex marriage
@@izzyk9-what are you yappin about. I grew up Catholic/Christian and that’s just bullshit. isn’t there literally a commandment that says “love thy neighbor” and like id worry more abt pedophilia from priests than two people of the same sex loving each other. it’s not that serious🤦♀️
I feel really bad for these guys, and the women who are married to them. There is no way they will ever be truly fulfilled in their hearts. To deny what is very clear is just sad. I'm not mad at them, they were raised a certain way, but it is sad to see people struggle this way.
@@HobbolinGobbolin correct me if I'm wrong, but afaik lavender marriage doesn't have the same connotation as whatever this is. In lavender marriage the queer person is not struggling with their own orientation or identity. They're doing it for protection and the marriage itself isn't built out of guilt
I feel bad for the woman only, how can you be with someone for years, never tell them you love them, have children, then turn around and claim that you’re gay? Maybe if they didn’t know or was questioning, but to think they willfully got into a long term relationship is just cruel.
"SSA not gay" is actually a thing in other Christian sects too. Growing up I had a protestant (female) friend who was gay, but her parents sent her to a day camp with single SSA people who married people of the opposite sex anyway when we were in middle school. After that she was kinda off again on again gay-religious SSA, we mostly fell out of touch, but as a lesbian myself, I really hope she's able to be herself now
When i was super religious, I (a lesbian) was super interested in becoming Mormon. Why? Because I heard Mormons had this thing called sister-wives. I told my very religious parents this, i told my friends this. FINALLY, someone was like, "Why do you want to share a husband with someone?" And my response was,"What do you mean, husband?" I, in the depths of lesbian delusion, just did not notice or care about the husband in these marriages. I was fully convinced that Mormons were like, the single Christian sect that was just really cool with lesbians for some reason 🥴😩
This story is hysterical, and sad. Ridiculous that the same old white men who enforce these ancient, archaic "laws", are beating off to lesbian porn at night. Hypocrites.
"i'm damaging myself psychologically for life and setting an example of that for my children and my wife is complicit in it and also she and my kids were only ever an ambition and not a passion no matter how much i love them now"
As someone who 1) is queer, and 2) used to be a part of this religion, this is literally the path that people take. The options for queer mormons are to stay single, enter a beard relationship, or leave the church. They literally have resources and testimonials for queer youth "Struggling with same sex attraction" (yes, that is the term used by the church) where people will "experience same sex attraction" and then enter a heterosexual marriage with God "at the enter" and be happy. That's the way that it goes. This show is more real than most reality TV.
i went through the exact same thing. i came out at 13, born into the church, and have still active family members who dont quite understand. it truly is sad to think how many people might be denying this part of themselves out of fear of their salvation or being looked down on by their ward members :/
Ok I read this comment wrong and I thought it was saying that they made people get heterosexually married to God. And I was like, even if they’re men? How does that work (personally I don’t see God as having a gender but I know that Mormons specifically see God as a man)
I'm a former mormon living in Utah and this show makes me so sad. I understand their reasoning so much because I've seen it happen. They want to protect their family relationships and their relationship with God so much that they have to deny who they are. It breaks my heart.
Same. I remember having so much cognitive dissonance as a Mormon because the church sees being gay as a "trail" someone has to overcome. I've literally heard people compare it to having an addiction you have to overcome. I never saw the issue. It's so sad that the church teaches that this is the best case scenario
1:42 small correction, 1500 documented. There’s probably way way more, cause it’s not something you see everyday and not something that’s equally clear in all species
The number of insect species that are obligate practitioners of incest is staggering, so it might be good to limit the reach just to animals with a vaguely similar lifecycle to humans'.
Another zoologist and ethologist here, and I am of a firm belief that every single species that has a common social gender and sex "binary" has at least one individual who could be considered "queer". The cool thing about studying and understanding other lifeforms is figuring out that expressions, social norms, cultures and experiences are sometimes very similar to ours, but sometimes incomprehensible to us as well. That's why "queer" is the best term here. Some ancient human cultures had homosexuality so normalised it was just daily life, therefore they wouldn't have referred to themselves as "homosexual". And in this similar sense, a gender or sexuality in humans might be differently perceived in snakes or weevils, for example. There are individuals among non-human animals who could be considered asexual or transgender in our terms as well, but compared to us, they don't tend to have any social stigma placed upon them, so someone who is e.g. a male individual but prefers to socially express themselves as feminine for their species, to their peers they wouldn't be transgender, they just *Would Be.* I find that beautiful, and that's something we could have as well if people weren't assigned genders. But all in all, queerness is in all of us, to some extent. We're a bunch of cells who all share genes with others. These experiences that we have are so incredibly simple yet complex. It's endearing to know that you're never really alone and that you can find friends everywhere. And yes, this number is strictly about documented examples, not about the precise number.
I grew up mormon and this kind of thing happens a lot. I left around age 14 because I kept being told that my attractions were wrong, that I had no power as a woman and had to be subservient to a man. Obviously they don't word it that way because it sounds bad, and the mormon church is really good at making things sound "good" But I had a friend in high school that was gay and very adamant about how his queerness was actually just another hurdle that god gave him to overcome. Shit made me so sad, bro. There is a good ending, though. I recently found him on insta and he's been in a queer relationship for a while and they run a cute little soap business, haha.
@@C0SM1XXS Lol I am absolutely not a part of the church anymore. I left around 12 years ago when I was 14ish. The lds church is extremely homophobic and misogynistic in their core beliefs. I'm not saying you are or that every member is, and I'm genuinely glad for you if that belief system makes you happy. For me personally though, I can't be a part of a system that pities my existence.
Any time I see Kurtis’ face it reminds me pf the meme of someone saying post malone’s mustache looks like two capybaras kissing because Kurtis’ mustache looks exactly like that.
The fact that some bronze age dudes thousands of years ago got it in their heads that love is bad if the lovers both have the same genitals and we're still dealing with the consequences in 2024 is batshit insane
And they say humans are the rational animal. We, as a species, don't think much, make much sense and classify ourselves as 'thinking beings'. It is so crappy that we cannot use our own brains properly.
When my mom first told me about gay people, she told me about a woman who was a lesbian but repented and married a man and now goes around preaching about not acting on homosexuality. She says she still is a lesbian, she just doesn't act on it, which is what my parents believe is right. I really hope she's bisexual and is actually happy in her marriage. I think about her a lot.
My parents also think this way. They also believe that it's caused by some sort of trauma (which I personally think is stupid) or a brain disorder (this one I'm unsure. If we're talking about neurodivergence, I've only heard that ND people are more willing to explore sexuality and gender identity compared to NTs, but I've never seen any proof that being LGTBQ+ has any direct correlation with being ND)
So, if I understand what you say at the end correctly about LDS not making conversion therapies anymore, they went from "let's torture gay people" to "let make gay people torture themselves".
My family is mormon and my cousin is currently going through this, its so upsetting to see. He’s confided in me about being attracted to men and has dated men in the past, but is still in deep deep denial. I just wish he could be happy, it hurts seeing him beat himself up for not being able to change his sexuality.
I was that kid. Adults that were safe spaces, not trying to push hard either way (you have to embrace yourself! Or you have to hide to be "worthy"), just accept me exactly as I was, were life saving. Eventually, I did open up to self-acceptance because I went to a queer Mormon youth thing (not sponsored by the church obviously). I HIGHLY recommend looking into Affirmation. It's an organization that just embraces you exactly where you are in your LGBTQ/Mormon journey. This was also life saving for me. They have youth specific programs Definitely the Mama Dragons too, they're a group of moms of LGBTQ+ kids with some sort of history with Mormonism. They have a very strong network of support across the country for "baby dragons" (queer/trans Mormon youth)
Hey Kurtis! Just wanna say I appreciate how you handled the subject matter and pointed out how deeply sad it is to suppress your sexuality out of fear of going to hell rather than just making fun of those guys
SSA stands for side - side - angle, and it means a triangle with known lengths of two sides and one known angle that is not between the two sides (math blog team 2017).
I was born in a religious family too, and being a "SSA" myself, I know what it is to have the pressure to feel something you don't. It's so sad seeing how they say they are doing the correct thing, what they are supposed to do, but not what they genuinely want to, or act on what they feel. Nobody in this video looks happy, not the husbands, not the wives. And it's easy to understand why. Romantic relationships should be about spontaneity, enjoy each others company, to admire the person by your side, and, of course, desire them and be desired back. It's not always easy, but it certainly should never be that hard. What they have is like a 24/7 job! And a bad one for that matter.
Hey folks 👏🏻 As a kurtistown citizen for years and a raised tried and true ex Mormon gay boy this has felt soooo full circle for me :) seeing my fav UA-camr validate the crazyness that is Mormon homophobia felt amazing, thank you Kurtis and thanks for making kurtistown a place where us gays are not just safe but welcome and loved ❤️🧡💛💚💙🩷
Also queer, raised Mormon! Was forced to go until the day I turned 18 🥲 they don’t believe in gay marriage but believe the bullshit Joseph smith spewed to be able to marry and sleep with underage girls 🙃
Exmormon here. Your trio of danny, drew and yourself were some of the first "unsacred" content i watched. Hell, i was still mormon and i refused to watch you dr witnesser video lol, but i definetly owe it to you guys and my brother who introduced me to see that not every single not family friendly thing was bad, and without the clever comedy you guys had, i may not have seen it that way. I fortunately never ended up having significant trauma, but i worry what would happen if i stayed.
I can confidently tell you 99% of members watch "unsacred" content. Some watch R rated movies and shows. I have no idea what you mean by significant trauma, nothing would have happened if you stayed. You could watch these videos perfectly fine
@classiccj2569 nothing would've happened? Look at my religious family who caused me trauma (trauma directly corrolated to LDS, mind you) and what I meant by significant trauma is that i feel like comparing my experience to others I probably got the long end of the stick.
@@spookeymo sure there are families who could induce trauma on their kid, but the church wouldn't directly traumatize a kid. I'd also like to mention that it's not "mormonism" we are Christian. We don't follow Mormon or praise Mormon, we praise Jesus. We are The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Ya it's a long name, but you can't leave Jesus's name out of it because He is the cornerstone of the church.
@@Funkbeat_W you still explained nothing. All you said in reply to me saying "I don't know how you have trauma" is "I have trauma." I'm not trying to discredit you or say it's impossible for you to have trauma because you were in the church. There can still be families who might traumatize their child. But the church directly wouldn't induce trauma. Just saying that it's "directly correlated to LDS" says nothing
What's really sad is that a lot of the people living like this will have had very poor education on LGBT topics if any at all from religious schooling. So their knowledge of it is probably as black-and-white as either being gay or straight, hence the concept of being Bi or Pan isn't even considered.
As an exmormon, I often hear members saying things like "oh the church is accepting of gay people now!!" meaning yeah it's fine if you "struggle with same-sex attraction" but you're gonna have to marry the opposite gender so you can marry in the temple and go to the highest heaven. It's disgusting, that's not accepting gay people!
I'm glad you were able to leave Mormondy. I found out this lady was a exmormon and also under the assumption I would not be nice to them anymore due to dying their hair green the second one was said to me first so I was under the asssumption maybe I had gotten drunk at one point and told people the color green bothered me deeply. Her and her husband were in Canada in fear that we considered them evil due to being interracially married, when it was moreso they were super exceedingly nice people and we figrured they wanted privacy. Their story was some 1800s one drop rule type nonsense for real. Since then I've called Utah Mormondy.
Take advantage of ExpressVPN’s Black Friday/Cyber Monday offer to get the absolute best VPN deal you’ll find all year! Use my special link www.expressvpn.com/kurtistown to get 4 extra months with the 12-month plan or 6 extra months with the 24-month plan totally FREE. That’s www.expressvpn.com/kurtistown to get an extra 4 or even 6 months of ExpressVPN for FREE!
How was this posted 3 hours ago
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR KURT 😭😭😭😭😭
@@julialowes7825literally what i was about to ask lol
kurtis you can admit youre prematurely balding, we wont judge
@@julialowes7825because before it was published he had it unlisted or something
Thanks for coming out as straight, Kurtis. Very brave of you.
I thought up until today that he was our bi icon 😭 😭 😭
@@jplveigaehhhhhhhhh
@@jplveiga lol Bicon
@@ronefero6142lol Bicon
Omggggggg yes biCONner@@ronefero6142
”I don’t have much in common with gay men…except for my attraction to males” is crazy
it's pretty funny that he puts it in the same two-item list as "Broadway musicals"
I want to describe things like him
As someone who doesn’t “present,” I’ve honestly started wearing rainbows to remind people that the biggest part of being gay isn’t being fem, it’s … 🌈being gay✨
Sped comment but okay
@ville-c4u It takes one to know one.
I’m gay and my husband’s bi and there is nothing he loves more than when people ask if he’s gay and he gets to say “I’m not gay but my husband is.” And I kept thinking about that joke this whole video
@@ville-c4usped reply but okay
@@bm-ye1jj female reply but okay
@@ville-c4u haha you're so funny. haha gay people bad. people with intellectual disability bad. haha you're so cool and funny and awesome and i bet you have so many friends irl
@@ville-c4ui just know u r stinky
This is my favorite comment ever
i’m actually a child of an ssa LDS man lol. dad is fully gay, still married to my mom. turns out they’re just best friends who kinda got married out of convenience/because they were/are super mormon and that’s the lifestyle they were taught to follow. hence, me and my two siblings. that was crazy ass dad lore to find out as a 15 year old years ago lmfao
is it weird of me to ask how that made you feel? i’m always curious about how the children feel in these situations. don’t need to answer if you don’t want to! hope your family is doing good.
damn that must've been super awkward for them when it came to the whole insemination thing y'know. I mean I cannot even imagine
i can't tell if some of these people are either bi or heteroromantic and just don't really know about it as a thing that can happen.
@@CoffeeCriminal they still can have steamy times with the opposite sex, not necessarily must be artificial insemination involved 😂 I am a "SSA" and I have been with women casually without issue.
Has this ever made you feel like you were just a convenience child? A lot of people don’t love each other but still have children but you’re different and this insight might be useful.
man the “I don’t feel like a fit the mold of guys who are attracted to men other than my deep love for broadway show tunes and the attraction to males” quote would be such a good one liner in a musical
…or on one of this specific t-shirts
I want it on a T-shirt
"I don't identify with being gay except for having perhaps the most stereotypically gay hobby,
oh and also I like to do gay stuff in my free time. That too"
SSA the musical
@@bellaboo.24that'd actually be a funny topic for like a Book of Mormon sequel💀
The way all of them often go on vacations with other men and "come back happier" is both hysterical and depressing. It's giving real life Brokeback Mountain.
I'm surprised Kurtis didn't make a joke about it tbh.
"camping trip"
God that fucking movie
@@imperfectly_megan He did?
You meant hilarious* not hysterical. Perhaps you could say 'hysterically funny' too. Many people use that word incorrectly ;)
"Not Gay, SSA" is a crazy slogan for the Social Security Administration, but then again, I don't have a Bachelors in business & marketing, so what do I know?
this made me laugh quite loudly
What can I say, it is catchy 🤔
I keep thinking *Serial Sexual Assaulter* lol
What do I nose?
What do I nose? 👃
As a bi man, this is such a surreal thing to watch. Like, the concept of bisexuality doesn't even exist in this universe.
THIS, its driving me insane lol
Exactly but unfortunately people like this exist, I remember when I first came out as bisexual and was told it’s not real and just greedy and people are only gay or straight. I’m glad people are becoming more accepting of bisexuality because there is still a lot of stigma especially towards bisexual men but I am thankful I can now be proud of who I am and not have to feel ashamed despite what other people think of my sexuality.
These men are NOT bi-sexual. I bet they would love to be bisexual but the truth is that they are only sexually attracted to men period. I feel sorry for their wives. How sad to have a partner that doesn't really want you, just tolerates you for the sake of religion.
you're a bull?
It exists, but for most LDS people, being bisexual is like the diet version of the gay struggle. You “experience same sex attraction” but you get (read: have) to commit to an opposite sex partner for time and all eternity.
The framework is that same sex attraction is a temptation to sin, not an intrinsic quality of who you are as a person. So for bisexuals it’s “easier” in the LDS framework…you simply opt to avoid and ignore any potential attraction you have to a member of the same sex.
Source: bisexual and ex Mormon.
this is literally just severe denial, internalized homophobia, and religious guilt. such a sad way to live
It is sad. The even sadder fact is that people who think and behave this way often times choose to make the lives of other gay people (especially those who are proudly out) more difficult. Larry "Wide Stance" Craig comes to mind. There's nothing wrong with being closeted, but even when I was closeted I still spoke out against homophobic rhetoric.
Right i wonder how people act like that their entire lives
The very concept of bisexuality is too nuanced for them to consider lmfao
I've always thought of Kurtis to be a very down-to-earth person. But this video messed with me a little bit. He was rambling on for 26 minutes about how dumb Mormons are for living like this, yet he takes no effort to explore some of the amazing things about the religion. And people who post purely judgemental comments like yourself are exactly the same. You have no clue what goes on behind the scenes and why people try so hard to make their religion work out. Because they've seen incredible things, and lived their life as amazing people purely because of the way this religion works
I'm not saying there's not holes like there is with all things made or restored by man, but people looking at the LDS church from an outside perspective only care to be critical, and don't talk about the enormous amount of money they give to charity, the pure kindness that so many of them show, and the support they give to the less fortunate (including members of LGBTQ).
Bi-bulls to bibles and sacrilegious to sack religious right after each other was perhaps the greatest comedic sequence I've ever witnessed
yeah i was really impressed by the bi-bulls to bibles bit
My mans is killing it with the comedy. Now if only he'd tone down the needless feminist pandering, we'd be golden.
Edit: Before you call me a misogynist, read my explanation below as to what I meant by feminist pandering.
Thank you for this comment I felt the same way, blessed 😂
HIVEMIND SACK RELIGIOUS
@@deadalpeca8099can you give an example of this pandering
This show is absolute proof for conservative Christians that being gay is not a choice. Everything about these men's lives is telling them not to be gay, and yet they still are.
Holy cow you're right.... That could be a problem
@@lonelyroosterloving a beautiful man is never a problem ❤
“NOoOooOooOoOoooOOoO tHeyRe NoT tRyiNg HaRd EnoUGh!!111!11!1!!!1!”
It is also really old school. Lavender marriages and marrying for financial benefit or for begetting heirs has been common thought out history.
@@honeybee347 I feel like the difference here is the sheer level of childish ignorance and pathetic denial.
"SSA is a real problem in Argentina" why did he have to clock us like that?? 😭😭 out of nowhere
Te juro bld que onda💀🙏
Gay is no more of a problem in Argentina than any else in the world. People are people. Stupid thing to say, I know most Argentines are more advanced to let a stupid comment bother them.
tbh argentinians do seem like they’d struggle with ssa
that was so funny and random rofl yall better solve that issue I guess
I wake up, a new glory coronation
I feel sorry for everyone involved, the men who were taught self loathing and hatred and the women who have learned to value themselves so little, that they would accept being with a man who can never truly love them, it's just tragic.
the mormon church truly takes over individuals entire lives, and often destroys them
@@ville-c4uWdym
This is funny and also tragic
Yes, this is exactly what i thought the entire time. Like if you really love your wife (platonically speaking at least) wouldn’t you want her to be with someone who truly like and cares about her?
Yeah the other ken the other channels reaction had the most r*traded takes ever "she thinks she's the victim" like she isn't??? They're the ppl who would always find excuse for abusive boyfriend or husbands, but super liberal/leftist on social media platforms
When I came out my mom made me read a book about suppressing ssa to save your relationship with god. Set me on the right path, and today I’m a proud gay atheist.
Really glad for you friend
Good for you!
I'm happy for you! You deserve people who love you for who you are, not what they want you to be
I'm happy you love yourself for you. Best wishes ❤️
I got scared for a sec when you said "set me on the right path" glad you are true to yourself!
SSA being ass spelt backwards makes me think that they are playing in their face 😭
It fits really well because making people have to suppress who they are if they want a relationship with God is ass-backwards.
The statement "SSA is ass backwards" is true both literally and figuratively.
I had the same thought 😂
Sped comment but okay
@@ville-c4u bot behavior
yeah, Brett(?) at 10:05 or so saying that maybe he would be gay if the church accepted it broke my heart. he sounds so sad and it sounds like his voice is shaking. I hope he finds a way to accept himself somehow, even though I know that's not possible fully where he is. I feel so sorry for all of these guys and their wives genuinely.
i work at amazon, and the amount of "how to heal homosexuality" self help books i package is insane
@ seriously??? That's very sad
That's very BASED
Could you make some little notes to slip into them?
@@FTZPLTC No that's tampering with their stuff
WE DON'T CARE + MY CONTENT INFINITELY BETTER 😂
As an ex-mormon who is also gay, this shit is genuinely horrific. It leads to depression and suicide. Utah has a frighteningly high suicide rate and this type of shit is part of that. When I came out to my mom she literally showed me a "Gay Mormon" who had a blog about living like this in the hopes that I would consider it. Thankfully, that guy eventually came to terms with the fact that he was fucking miserable and left his wife for a man (which actually didn't even destroy their family, they worked out a dynamic to still raise their kids together. It all worked out!) and he also wrote up an apology for his blog, because promoting this to young gay people in the church is SO FUCKING HARMFUL. It's infuriating. I hate it so much.
yeah genuinely horrific. My partner is ex-Mo. There's all this language about "we accept gays" that non LDS people hear but it doesn't mean what they think it means. It means suppressing your humanity and living a fake identity that is harmful for all involved. The women in this video who are talking about how happy they are is because they're taught they're worthless unless you are sealed to a man who can secret handshake you into LDS heaven. That said... on an individual level i know a lot of LDS/Mormon people who aren't like this and accept the gay/trans/etc. people in their families but are afraid to speak up. It's messed up. Glad you are ok.
Hell, I had an identity crisis when I could no longer deny that I was gay and I wasn't even confronted with homophobia in my family, at school or among my friends. It was just becaise nobody thought to tell me that being gay is an option that exists, is accepted and that I'm not the only one at my age in my region feeling that way, that was all!
Finding out you're different after you've been(unintentionally) made to believe that there's only heterosexuality is confusing and scary enough, I can't imagine how terrifying it must to be to find out you're not straight in a social environment, where not being straight means losing your family, your reputation and possibly losing your freedom (threat of incarceration) and safety (threat of violent injury or death)! 😢😭
@willowwinkle An awful amount of straight people seem to genuinely think that this "accepting homosexuality as long as it isn't acted upon" BS was a friendly and tolerant stance and that gay people could happily live in accordance to it.
They simply lack the empathy or care to realize that they're asking people with normally distributed sex drives to live in complete abstinence, which is something they themselves would never accept - let alone live happily with - if they had to follow that advice themselves! 🤦
...or they're all just evil and only pretend to genuinely think this, so can keep up a tolerant and inclusive facade. Some of them sure do, but I don't think they're the majority.
Sped comment but okay
Gay exmo’s rise up ✊
Tom was my high school AP teacher. I’m losing my mind. People used to talk about this show in school but this is the first time i’ve actually seen it. He’s actually a great guy and teacher one of the best ones i remember from high school.
Tom was my gf's teacher too when this episode aired! She said that apparently whenever kids would try to ask him about the show, he would usually reply "the school asked me not to talk about it...."
Wait, people talked about the show in general and you're just now finding out your teacher was on it? Or people talked about him being on it while you were in school?
@@timnimigean8971people talked about him being on this show. but it was more of a “haha our teachers on a show called ‘my husbands not gay’” not in a crazy scandal way if that makes sense
thats crazy! do you know if he had a partner? i was looking for an update
@@kristenc742asking the important questions
The original translation was “man shall not sleep with man,” but there’s been a more recent translation of “man shall not sleep with YOUNG man,” which makes WAY more sense
It makes a lot more sense when you think about christianity trying to differ from roman and greek costums and beliefs.
The greek had a custom that tutors would lay with their adolescent trainees or older rich men with junger men who were not as high in the social system, this translated into marriages with women too, they were awfully young for the most part while their husbands were in their 30s.
The romans on the other hand did not consider it cheating when men slept with slaves (men or women), cause slaves were not considered human/important enough the duality is funny to note: some slaves were pretty high up in the social ladder. Anyways, for young ppl having a tendency to be more attractive, those pairings were similarly to greek pairings: Old dudes on young dudes.
Both patricipants being the same age was being frowned upon in those cultures as well - was a dominance/power thing.
That's why christianity was all about this specific old on young men relationships in the book. Considering that marriages of pretty young women was still a thing, the intention was clear here I think - but of course everyone and their mothers have their own opinions on the bible.
The “problem” with homosexuality in the Judaic/Greco-Roman sexual ethic is that the man is in a submissive dynamic. It is equally sinful for a woman to be on top during heterosexual intercourse.
This is also why woman-woman relationships are never litigated (they are of inferior social status). The sexual social construct of the time was one of domination and social status, so the idea of a man being dominated was what was considered taboo.
@@Maeniel83I believe the specific law they're talking about is from Leviticus, long before Greece or Rome- but it was in a section about specifically setting themselves apart from the people of Egypt. There are other verses where Paul is clearly condemning the Roman practice you mention (pederasty), though. Unfortunately, those verses usually just get translated as condemning any homosexuality at all, because that's just the world we live in, I guess.
boy shall not lay with men.
There was also one of "man shall not sleep with boy"
Kurtis has mastered the art of making gay jokes and not being homophobic, hell ye
And some comics act like it’s super hard to not be a bigot 😮
lol it is when being a bigot is your identity @@babitferreira
"Coming out" as straight is super corny and people should definitely stop doing that annoying shite but other than that, yes.
@@jijittershe did it because people always assume that he is queer in some way
@@jijitters you are just looking for a reason to hate straight people at this point. if you dont understand the reason he said that you are kinda lost, its not a coming out
My church pastors tried to make me do something like this when I admitted I was attracted to men. They gave me pamphlets on SSA, and they even tried to get me to go to conversion therapy. My youth pastor became obsessed with my sex life, asking me super intrusive, inappropriate questions... all while I was under 18
When I told them I was uncomfortable with those options, they outed me to the whole congregation via the prayer requests journal.
In a moment of vulnerability and honesty I was shamed and called disgusting. They acted as if I had some sort of disease.
In regards to my belief in god, the cracks started to show years before, but this was the breaking point for me.
Seeing this issue made into a TV show for shits and giggles is honestly so heartbreaking.
Reading your story was also heartbreaking.
It's like how anti-trans campaigners want bio sex bathrooms, motherfucker, are you the one who will be insisting on checking women's genitals before they pee? WTAF.
It's hard when we think things are getting better but the backlash to that progress takes us back 60 years as a society.
Stay strong fellow resident of Kurtistown. Much love to you ❤❤
That is so horrible I’m so sorry :(
@@skunkrat01because fuck women who feel uncomfortable with it right?
I am so, so sorry you went through such spiritual and emotional trauma, and through such a difficult time in general with your sexuality. I hope you're healthy and happy and living for you.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that 😞
former mormon here... they were still doing conversion therapy as late as 2006, because they did it to me. They sent me to a camp and shock therapy, and when I said I still had feelings of being attracted to women, they excommunicated me and my family disowned me.
FYI this happened over 15 years ago, I'm doing much better now but the camp they sent me to is still running and operational in Arizona.
I'm glad you doing better and glad u having time to heal!!
Wow I’m really sorry you had to go through that. You’re so strong 💛
I am so sorry you went through that. Especially sorry that your family made the wrong choice. But, absolutely happy to hear you are doing better these days.
so f'ing disgusting. its very good to hear you were able to get through it. we have to hope that these places get shut down and families realize how horrible they are being, but in the US its probably unlikely and that kills me.
I have former morman friends who left more recently and they were still doing it then. I also went to college in Indiana in 2015, and there was a convertion therapist's office a few blocks from campus. I'm so sorry you went through, and im glad you're no longer being forced into that type of torture.
Lavender marriage meets religious trauma
When I came out my mom told me that she thought women were attractive in college but she stayed true to gods plan and avoided those “sinful desires”. It was something she had to “overcome”
Guess the gay runs in the family
This is like when I told my mum I was experiencing various ADHD symptoms and she went “that’s not ADHD, that’s normal!”
Yeah she’s got ADHD too. 😂
My wife and I are openly queer, and the amount of "straight" friends we have that have told us about suppressing their feelings because of judgement is insane!
now we know where you got the gay from
I told my mom I was bi and she said "girl I've had more gay experiences than you" lmaooo MOM IM 13!
i love how confident the wives are that their husbands are DEFINETLY NOT gay while theyre being gay 😭😭
Tbf bisexual is a thing.
@@roxassora2706what if they’re bisexual but just don’t like their wives
@@sweet.p34 why even marry them then lol
@@sweet.p34 best plot twist lmfao
Everyone is gonna respond "bisexual erasure" but its obvious these men are gay and because bisexual is slightly more acceptable by like 1% to their homophobic community. If they said they only liked men it would be "worse" for them so they have to soft launch it (seen this in real life too and yes they came out as 100% gay. The whole story is insane)
I live in Utah and have a gay LDS coworker. He’s been in a monogamous same-sex relationship for 2 years now, but says that his dream is to get married to a woman and start a family. I told him he can just as easily start a family with the man he’s dating (or some other man he would want to marry), but he thinks that having a family with another man would be “wrong.” It makes me feel bad for him (and the man he’s decided to leave eventually, and the woman he will marry who will be trapped in a loveless marriage) and other brainwashed people like him :( it truly destroys their lives and happiness
If you watch Jimmy snow's videos he breaks down the brain washing.
It was hard for me to accept myself growing up it was wrong to even have those feelings at all the feeling being okay is a recent change.
I hope he decides to truly accept himself but in the church he may never do so.
No one's forcing them to stay there. They can always leave. I'm sorry but I don't feel sorry for free people that choose to chain themselves. If he was in a Muslim country I'd understand his plight
@@l-kin3480 how free is he really when he had no choice over his upbringing?
@marios1861 he's an adult now. He's free to question, research and leave
@@l-kin3480 you clearly have no idea how cults work
22:37 "Thats the kind of dog you should get, Tom." HOW DID KURTIS JUST SKIP THAT? THATS HARLIOUS AS SHIT
The fact that they’re all still in the same relationships today and some of them even became conversion therapists themselves is so sad😕
oh dear
They did??
What's wrong with that? They stayed together
even sadder for the women who are forced into and trapped into these relationships
@@ceoatcrystalsoft4942one is in a relationship suppressing their sexuality (and probably having affairs and/or hating themselves) and the other is in a relationship with someone who doesn’t desire them. And then the conversation therapy…
What is so heartbreaking to me about these kinds of relationships is the idea that neither person really gets to feel fulfilled in the relationship. The man never gets to be himself and the woman doesn’t get to have a husband attracted to her. That’s just a bummer all around. The delusion on both sides.
maybe not in some ways, but there's still the emotional fulfillment of a best friend and lifelong confidant, as well as the fulfillment of having a family together.
@@pungetello having a family based on lies? Sounds great and really healthy
Yeah, but as an outsider looking in at these relationships, I don't think these men think of their wives as best friends, let alone lifelong confidants.
@@pungetello I suspect you are aroace? People who experience sexual and/or romantic attraction would not feel fulfilled in relationships where they are denied those things. I know ace people especially don't like hearing this and can't bring themselves to understand it, but most people expect sex and sexual satisfaction to be a major factor of their relationships and it does not feel like a true relationship without it. When a non-asexual person is in a relationship and feels like their partner is not attracted to them, it is a major source of unhappiness, and it does significant harm to their self-esteem. I know it is very difficult for ace people to put themselves in this mindset since it seems to not be the same for them but this is so significant for most people that it is a common reason for breakups, cheating, divorce, and general unhappiness in relationships. Your partner finding your attractive, and you finding your partner attractive, is vital to most non-ace relationships. It's incredibly rare for romantic & sexual preferences to completely misalign, so almost certain it means they aren't romantically attracted to them either, and one is bad enough but lacking both sounds like torture. Those wives probably never truly feel loved by their husbands.
@jijitters I get what you're saying, but I honestly believe that thinking that way is detrimental to everyone, regardless if they're aro, ace or neither. It's also unfair and reductive to assume that someone who thinks like op must be aro/ace and just doesn't “get it.” I think people need to examine why they feel they *need* to be in a romantic relationship, and why their self-worth is so dependent on the subjective attraction of others. People can have happy and fulfilling lives without romantic relationships, but oftentimes society's emphasis on romance means that romantic relationships are always, *always* prioritized over friendships, and people are never willing to be as emotionally vulnerable with a friend they've had for years than a romantic partner they've been dating for a month. It's honestly sad how often people overlook the people already in their life because they can't see themselves as happy without a romantic partner, to the point where they'd rather stay in a toxic relationship than be without a romantic partner.
My god, this seems so horrible for both the men AND their wives.
The relationship with their wives gives conservative mother brainwashing their child into thinking they aren't gay vibes.
@ My brother in Christ, one of them literally said that if it was allowed in the church he would preferred to have married a man.
@ thank you
@@Cabdulahi_SomaliAfrican?
@@Cabdulahi_Somali So you sent him to conversion therapy and now he's too traumatised to be himself, he'll never be truly happy, and he'll never forgive you. Great job. Not.
As an exmormon who is out and gay, when I came out I was like I cant do both. and at the time my family they were fine with me being gay but me leaving the church and choosing to act on it was what they had a hard time reconciling. It has been a couple years now and they have really grown to see that me being who I am is the best that could've happened and I am getting to see my mom entering a "supportive cringe" mom of a gay kid stage and its really fun. I am really lucky but they still are all members and that def still has a toll. But I am so glad i didn't have to have my SSA conversation with my church leaders etc. it would've been even more harmful for me.
this is my worst nightmare: to be doomed in a marriage and to be trapped in a religion where it's essentially "we always love you and accept you" with an invisible gun held to your head that can't let you be fully yourself and accepted. it's even more putrid TLC thinks it's entertaining enough to profit of their misery.
I second this. This is also my worst nightmare.
I’m not religious, but I go to a private Catholic school that is predominantly conservative. In my religion class, we talk about politics and social issues such as “homosexual behavior” and “transgenderism.”
It absolutely disheartens me every single time we talk about this because my school treats these normal human things as a disease or something to be cured (ESPECIALLY when it comes to being transgender). For example, my religion teacher compared “struggling with homosexual behavior” to “struggling with alcoholism.”
It’s absolutely disgusting and it scares me to think that my ignorant classmates are being “educated” like this and will grow up to be hateful and full of bigotry.
@@ashleypisarts Is there a way to get away from that school? I can imagine it's not very good for your mental health to be surrounded by hatred...
@@ashleypisartsdayum. This is why I believe organized religion should be a thing of the past already. Never seen one that isn’t at least a little cult-y!
@@ashleypisarts that sounds awful..
Reminds me of how they exploited jazz Jennings and putting her in situations that left her vulnerable to transmisogynists. That shit has had a big effect on her and it pisses me off
Fun fact: Rams have a weirdly high rate of homosexuality, and then scientists wondered why they didn't see a bunch of lesbian sheep. They realized the mating ritual of female sheep is to stand perfectly still. Now we have the joke term Lesbian Sheep Syndrome
lol
Literal stone top
How is this how I find out rams are just male sheep am I stupid???
When two lesbian sheep fall in love they just freeze and stare at each other 😭
So basically if a sheep is lesbian it's asexual?
Kurtis bringing up pictures of his wedding day(s) every chance he can get is so sweet he loves his wife so fuckin much
yes
@@aliceramdom.swell yes
dgk are the holy trinity of men who love their wives
@@aliceramdom.sye s
i would too, they’re gorgeous weddings and he and jenna are equally gorgeous in them. they seem so happy together and i love that for them
I’m ex Mormon and all of my family who live in the same state are Mormon too. I’m also bisexual and non-binary. How I identify was a huge reason why I left the church. I always felt so angry when people would say that it was fine to be gay but never to get married or be in a relationship with somebody you’re actually attracted to
As someone who used to be like this, it is truly a miserable existence. I chose to date a man for several years to get acceptance from my family (not Mormon, but Muslim) and the saddest part is that it worked. They were nicer, more helpful when I struggled, more supportive, and didn't treat me like my existence was a plague anymore. But I was still miserable. I hated being with him, I hated myself because I could never believe it when I'd lie about being happy, I hated the praise from my family for "fixing" myself, I was constantly seeing people happily out and wishing I could be like them, and constantly wishing I was born "right." I constantly had to fight the urge to take myself off this planet. The worst part was people giving him sympathy for "being stuck with someone who doesn't love him" even though he knew since day 1 that I wasn't attracted to men and used my family situation to get to me.
I truly hope those men got out okay and were able to accept who they are. It took years for me to finally embrace being a lesbian and I am SO much happier now. My family does still try to convince me to go back to living in the closet but luckily I'm stronger now and can tell them to fuck off.
I hope you’re in a better place in your life now. Never compromise on who you are, if you do, you’ll never know true acceptance. You’ll only be keeping the peace temporarily.
Stay strong!
That's wonderful you are being true to yourself.
Sincerely good for you for staying true to who you are and making that decision to live a life authentic to yourself and who you love. That takes a lot of courage and you should be proud that you were able to make that happen.
I'm so sorry you went through that. It feels like that should be considered abuse.
I have a similar situation. I came out at 14 but have been basically forced back into the closet. Luckily my family only wants to think about forcing me to marry when im 27. Im 20 rn and working hard to get my own appartement. Does it ever get better? Im dreading losing my whole family. I have been since I realized i wasn’t straight.
The saddest part about this is that both parties in those relationships are suffering. The men can't live their truths and the women aren't loved. The most telling part is how most of the wives were told and then convinced by their husbands that "SSA relationships" were a good and normal thing and that they should just accept it. They're all brainwashed into accepting misery and it's so sad.
I think the only relationship that is hurt is Jeff and Tanya's, at least from the recaps I've seen on UA-cam. Jeff shows more attraction to males than females, and he has had a "close call" situation. That makes me think that he's gay but in denial. Coming out to their wives as bisexual wouldn't be a big deal in any other context but apparently it is when you're religious.
@@mikamattaa8547 I don't think bisexuality is something that the LDS Church really acknowledges. If a person is attracted to someone of the same gender, they're "SSA." If they ever act on that "SSA" they're "gay," whether or not they also experience attraction to the opposite gender.
Yeah, I was a little disappointed that Kurtis never mentioned how awful it would presumably be for those wives. It's possible that some of them are, themselves, queer. So it could be a lavender marriage kind of situation. Some of those women could be asexual, and therefore perfectly happy to forgo an active sex life.
However, I'm guessing that for the most part, Mormon women in their situation are simply just deeply repressing their own sexual desires. While sexual coercion is supposed to be forbidden, LDS also teaches the standard conservative Evangelical thing of the wife's body belongs to the husband, and the husband's body belongs to the wife. That would technically mean that the wife should have access (sexually) to her husband as she pleases.
In addition, the church holds that masturbation is a way of being unfaithful to the spouse. So there's no proper Mormon way of gaining sexual satisfaction _other_ than partnered sex between husband and wife. I can't imagine how one of these "SSA marriages" would work without plenty of self-pleasure on the parts of both spouses.
I guess it comes down to whether the LDS church hates gay people more than all of their other text-based sex rules. I think they chose hating gay people.
1:07 this reminds me of the boxer Emile Griffith who was Bi, during a boxing match in 1962 he k illed his opponent Benny "Kid" Paret in the ring. He said "I kill a man and most people understand and forgive me. However, I love a man, and to so many people this is an unforgivable sin; this makes me an evil person"
you can say "killed"
@aliceramdom.s I did
That's so sad dude😭
holy fuck i didn't know about this. This guy called him a f*g repeatedly, and then he beat him so hard he had to go to the hospital later, and died there. Then griffith had nightmares for 40 years about it. What the actual fuck.
there’s a WW1 or WW2 veteran gravestone that says “they gave me a medal for killing a man, and a dishonorable discharge for loving one.” breaks my heart every time i remember it
8:30 Yeah, great idea guys. Let's get a bunch of gay mormon dudes together. They gonna get along SO WELL.
“i was certainly born with some homosexual attractions but what we say is ‘there’s still a choice in our behavior’” is code for “i knew i was gay since i was born and showed signs so the people around me brainwashed me into thinking its a choice” i hope they all free themselves of this 😭
Sped comment but okay
@@ville-c4uhmm
wow, I started watching kurtis when I was still in the mormon church and "struggling with SSA", and now years later ive left the church and accepted myself and now kurtis makes this video! weirdly healing and crazy how life goes lol
Pop offffff clementine
let's fucking go!!!
i love that for you!! that’s so good for you and i’m proud of you.
sincerely,
a fellow ex mormon ex SSA now proudly very gay
Same
@ tyyy!!!
"The most supportive, most homophobic people ever" so accurately describes mormons. I grew up in the mormon church, and knew I was a lesbian around age 16ish. I stayed in the church until I was 19, and reconciling my queer identity with the beliefs I was raised to have was some insane mental gymnastics. I was never kicked out of anything, never yelled at or abused, but there was this expectation that either I would grow out of it, or that I would "have faith" or whatever and marry a man anyways. Thanks for covering the topic, and making fun of these guys in a more respectful way than some! A lot of people mock mormons incessantly without realizing that while they chose to be like that, many of them have been indoctrinated from birth, and many do not have a safe way to leave, so some commentary/comedy around them just feels like people laughing at my trauma. This one was good.
Sped comment but okay
@@ville-c4ufind a noooooooose
People really underestimate the power of religious indoctrination- I hope you have a safe place now to process :)
@@ville-c4uhaving a rough day, bud?
Ex mormon from Utah here! I had some bad memories watching these people try to negotiate being themselves or being in the church- I attempted to take my life when I was 16 because i was so hopeless of the thought of having to marry a man to make my family love me. I realized I was a lesbian and decided to leave the church, no matter how much my family would shun me for it. It’s still hard but I left Utah and it’s been so much better not being in a culture so hell bent on repressing anyone who is different
This is actually pretty sad but also one of the most funniest things I've ever watched. Feels like a genuine sitcom show
What makes me really itchy inside is that what they’re doing is the same cognitive behavioral therapy used for OCD, it’s genuinely awful to use something so helpful and twist it into suppressing a normal and healthy part of yourself
I was just thinking about this! The concept that they describe for SSA is similar to having intrusive thoughts in OCD
That's awful bro js found out I have ocd and I can't believe people are using my type of therapy for the evil beliefs
This was kinda what I had been thinking about as I kept watching and had been hoping to see others who had noticed! Although it really did make it feel all the more painful to see especially as an LGBTQIA+ person with OCD myself…
Sped comment but okay
ville-c4u has hpd don't pay them attention
This was actually very useful.
I recently moved to Utah for work and have been so bewildered by the “gay is a choice” vernacular. I’ve been in so many arguments saying “obviously it isn’t. Is being attracted to men/women a choice for YOU?”
Until seeing this video, I did not clock that they see same sex attraction and gay as independent things: SSA refers to feelings which cannot be helped; being “gay” is “acting on it” and this is the part that they see as a choice.
This newfound comprehension gives me a route to arguing better in my role as an ally in Utah. Thank you!
To be honest, I’m not personally a fan of the common rhetoric of gayness being a born trait either. It makes it sound like homosexuality (whether that be attraction or behaviour) should be accepted because “it can’t be helped” and treats it as an affliction that doesn’t happen out of one’s agency - rather, I think we should accept sexuality regardless of whether the homosexuality ultimately stems from nature or nurture
I’m not sure what the scientific consensus on being gay is, ie. as being the result of nature or nurture or a mix of both, but given that there are cases of trauma or upbringing affecting sexual desire and behaviour, it feels wrong to rely on it being an innate trait as a justification for it being right (I don’t know if I conveyed that well, but I sometimes think, what if I’m gay because of certain experiences I went through? Would that not be acceptable if it was actually a choice?”). I think ultimately we shouldn’t be using scientific or religious reasoning for lgbtq acceptance. can’t it just be out of respect for human difference?
@@matchasketch8224the scientific consensus is that nature plays more of a role than nurture. I get that these explanations might make you feel uncomfortable but that’s no reason to deny established scientific facts.
Actually you just helped me work that out in my brain too ty lol
@@matchasketch8224 from an allyship point of view, I think the safest thing is to assume that whether it is innate/genetically determined or a result of early childhood, hormonal, or other factors, research bares out that it is not a conscious “choice” that people make, nor is it malleable in most situations, and it can be extremely harmful to try to force change.
Typically this discussion is being had with people who believe that being gay IS a conscious choice, and moreover, it’s a harmful and toxic choice. Having the “well, we should accept sexuality in other people regardless of whether it’s genetically determined” is pointless because they do not believe there is any genetically determined sexuality except for cishet marriages anyways. They’ll often get offended if you call humans “animals” and they don’t believe in evolution. So if taking the position it’s genetic helps them understand that it may not be a conscious and malicious choice, and may even be an intentional piece of God’s design, I say go for it.
@@matchasketch8224ultimately, I think I’m bi because lady Gaga, Britney Spears and Kesha existed
I dated a girl before I realized I was gay and it’s the most frustrating thing to go through because it felt like I had a heart of stone. Like no matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t reciprocate in the way she could. Every “I love you” felt like a hollow lie and I felt like I was constantly pretending. There’s no doubt in my mind that this is what these guys are going through, and to think that they’re planning on living their lives like that is really sad.
That explains why Tom only has death behind his eyes.
kurtis, i have always loved how you're such a fierce ally and always speak positively of the lgbt community. you're truly a king.
Get these guys on Chappell Roan's "Goodluck, babe!" right this instant
i love you
YESS OMG
PLEASE
right like it was the only thing on my mind when watching this 😭😭😭
Heather by Conan Gray too
“If it WAS accepted to be a homosexual in the church, would I be gay? Maybe 8 or 9 years ago, 10 years ago? The answer would be yes.”
That absolutely shattered me. Not being able to express who you really are, not being able to love who you want to love, all while essentially lying to yourself - out of the fear of your OWN beliefs? It sounds miserable.
insert (not so funny) self flagellation joke here. I mean, maybe they're also closeted masochists? "Not that there's anything wrong with that." - Seinfeld
The fact that if he was not to be damned to a place they said he would go he would do it shows he's only doing it for fear. Even in the end he never says what HE wants but what GOD wants and that's just
Bro.
That's why all these religious cults start their work on children during their formative years.
I grew up in a Christian church and it was always hammered into us that it's okay to have same sex attraction provided you NEVER EVER act on it. Your options are being single for life or marrying the opposite sex. That's all. We even had one service where they paraded this poor lesbian in front of all of us and she basically bawled through her whole "testimony" about how she was attracted to women but trying to follow "God's law" by not acting on her feelings. Agonized, in front of a judgmental crowd, about why God would give her these feelings and then condemn her to be alone forever instead of having a family. The worst of course was when the pastor then COMMENDED HER for being such a good example of a Christian for not "giving in to sin." It absolutely messed me up. Years later I found the love of my life--a woman--and I am now the black sheep of my family. Religion does a lot of damage to people like us.
@@katarinaweber9749I’m so happy you were able to find someone you’re attracted to! Congratulations :)
My gay male cousin is married to a lesbian wife (because being queer is not really accepted in our country and they want to keep the peace) but they have a really good and healthy friendship, and plan to introduce their respective partners to any future kids as "auntie"/"uncle". It's honestly very wholesome. This is just sad lol
That’s called a Lavender marriage! It used to be suuuuper commonplace in the queer community, especially for public figures whose relationships are highly scrutinized, like Hollywood actors and actresses.
@@UltraCheesecakeFace lavender is a sweet name for it
@@UltraCheesecakeFace Did not know there was a name for that. Actually a smart choice if you got the option. I could never have a Kid with her though.😅
@@maximumrisk2004 In real-world lavender marriages, when there are kids involved, the biological parentage of the kids may not be limited to the couple in question. And often the kids grow up in a sort of blended family consisting of their lesbian mother, their gay father, and their respective partners (who may be married to each other as well). It's something you also see sometimes in polyamorous families, since most countries don't allow for legal plural marriage (more than two spouses).
Lavender marriages aren't without issues, and there can be jealousy and more significant disagreements. However, for a long time, it was the only way for non-straight people to obtain the societal and financial benefits of marriage.
@@maximumrisk2004
I think they don't have to have a child by having sex with each other, they can use another method. I think it would be sweet for them to have children, but having the woman be a surrogate for her husband and his boyfriend, and the husband can be a sperm donor for his wife and her girlfriend. That way they can have children who have two dads and two moms, they would all be related, and they could have a big blended family!
Although I really hope that one day soon they can be free to openly be themselves without fear
Every time I hear "SSA" I think of "standard school attire" because that's what it was called in school lmao
as a bisexual woman who was raised mormon (and is still figuring out how i work with religion), i can confirm that “the most supportive, homophobic people you’ll ever meet” is a pretty accurate description
sped comment but okay
@@ville-c4u Your entire profile is asking women for their discord. Literally nobody cares about you.
hey can I just say, as a nonbinary and lgbtq-ally lds person, I appreciate you figuring out how to work being bi with religion. If I'm reading that correctly, (am I reading that correctly?) I don't see many people like that. It makes me sad that most people I see are either all-or-nothing, but still either way misunderstand they can be religious AND non-stereotypically christian in the bad way. But I guess it could get pretty contradictory. I wish you the best!
Pretty much
@@pmasonl yes, you’re exactly right!! it took me a very long time to find a balance between the two and i even left the church for a while. i’m glad to have found a way to coexist (a way that is FAR less extreme than what this video shows- i think a very large problem within the church is many people taking “doctrine” as an excuse to be outrightly hateful and discriminatory towards others and i don’t believe that hiding or going against who i am is beneficial to anyone- not to myself, not to anyone in the church, and certainly not to god) but it had definitely taken me a long time to get there. thank you for making it a priority to love people as jesus does. i wish you the best too!!
As a gay guy who grew up in a church that taught us that homosexuality is a sin, and is still struggling with internalized homophobia, this show is honestly pretty horrific and depressing, and I appreciate the tactful blend of humor and empathy Kurtis shows here.
Luckily my parents have accepted me and aren’t as religious anymore, but I shudder to think what life would be like if they hadn’t
You are an amazing person just the way you are. I'm so happy for you, that you have at least some support from your family.
@ thank you, and wow I didn’t expect this many likes lol. I’m doing pretty alright all things considered but I appreciate it
Hello from a fellow queer exmormon. Sending you so much love.
So happy you are in a position where they accept you! You deserve nothing less than that! Sending lots of love and happiness 🥹❤️
I had a friend in high school whose parents were extremely conservative and homophobic. They had 3 gay children. They are no longer conservative or homophoic
1:01 "if youre gay, bye" -kurtis conner
Mayor Kurtis is anti-gay!!
Broke my heart when I heard that...
bi*(short term for bisexual) not bye 😭🙏
unless I'm being autistic and this is a joke...
@@IzzyBoo-ye1sfI hate to break it to you…
Clicked off the video as soon as I heard this... Do better Kurtis.
"A wiener dog"
"That's the kind of dog you should get, Tom"
You know, boys will be boys
man gets a hair cut and suddenly his voice drops by two octaves. THIS IS AN IMPOSTER NOT KURTIS.
i was hoping for a comment to say this i thought i was going fucking insane thank you
Right?!
i thought i was going insane
Noticed that too, I bet he's just sick.
bro im losing my mind, not nearly enough people are talking about this😭 and like why did he get an american accent all of a sudden but somehow his canadian accent got stronger
22:43 “that’s the kind of dog you should get, tom” PLEASE😭
I lost my shit laughing at that part 😂
I'm suprised they joke about that considering they unanimously agreed that they *shouldn't* be getting any wieners but I guess for the show you gotta tease it out a little bit
AND THE WAY HE SAID IT TOO
ikr like okay shady queen
@@bobatealunabro literally has the queen accent😭😭😭😭
I remember my first understanding of this was 10 years ago when I was a senior in high school and this other guy told me “I’m probably gay but it’s against my religion to live in that way. What’s important is to not live in sin; to choose not to sin in that way. Urges aren’t sinful but acting on those urges is.” My heart BROKE for him. I was like.. oh?
The worst part is that isn't even what evangelical or fundamentalist Christianity teaches. In the Bible, Jesus literally says that thinking about the thing is as bad as doing it. It's a breeding ground for OCD.
@@emma2884i have scrupilosity, and i still love Jesus
We don’t know what’s good for us- since the beginning of time we’ve tried to do whatever we wanted and it would end in failure. Just because it’s happened forever or replicated by animals doesn’t mean that it is right because human sin has always existed Jesus loves you and wants best. But please for the love of goodness gracious become aaare that you don’t know what’s best for you in the same way a child reaches for boiling water- and know that maybe people are messed up at love- but He isn’t . I’m sorry if it sounds offensive I just wanted to clarify that the Bible and it’s Spirit that wrote it do assert forms of opposite sex marriage
@izzyk9- yes because loving someone is exactly the same as submerging your hand in boiling hot water!
@@izzyk9-what are you yappin about. I grew up Catholic/Christian and that’s just bullshit. isn’t there literally a commandment that says “love thy neighbor” and like id worry more abt pedophilia from priests than two people of the same sex loving each other. it’s not that serious🤦♀️
I can confirm in Argentina everyone is gay I live here
I feel really bad for these guys, and the women who are married to them. There is no way they will ever be truly fulfilled in their hearts. To deny what is very clear is just sad. I'm not mad at them, they were raised a certain way, but it is sad to see people struggle this way.
😂 it's not real at all. Its reality tv.
@@GrimNephilimyeah but many people do live like this
@@GrimNephilim It's a real thing that happens though, usually called Lavender marriages. whether it's financial, religious, or social.
@@HobbolinGobbolin correct me if I'm wrong, but afaik lavender marriage doesn't have the same connotation as whatever this is. In lavender marriage the queer person is not struggling with their own orientation or identity. They're doing it for protection and the marriage itself isn't built out of guilt
I feel bad for the woman only, how can you be with someone for years, never tell them you love them, have children, then turn around and claim that you’re gay? Maybe if they didn’t know or was questioning, but to think they willfully got into a long term relationship is just cruel.
"SSA not gay" is actually a thing in other Christian sects too. Growing up I had a protestant (female) friend who was gay, but her parents sent her to a day camp with single SSA people who married people of the opposite sex anyway when we were in middle school. After that she was kinda off again on again gay-religious SSA, we mostly fell out of touch, but as a lesbian myself, I really hope she's able to be herself now
They seem to use the verb to be in a convenient way for them ,Its sad and mind boggling.
it's completely different from being gay because it requires a lot more self-hate and a higher tolerance for cognitive dissonance
You should have made a stronger attempt to be "in touch" with her 😉
@@CircusFoxxo😒
That’s some mental gymnastics.
I'm a recently ex mormon, and seeing Kurtis make fun of them has healed my soul
congrats on leaving ♡
you're so strong!!! i'm so proud of you :)
Same
Yay! I love reading stories of people putting religion in the past where it belongs.
congratulations!
This heartbreaking, because these people having hard time come to terms with their sexuality. Please be happy and be yourself ❤
When i was super religious, I (a lesbian) was super interested in becoming Mormon. Why? Because I heard Mormons had this thing called sister-wives. I told my very religious parents this, i told my friends this.
FINALLY, someone was like, "Why do you want to share a husband with someone?" And my response was,"What do you mean, husband?"
I, in the depths of lesbian delusion, just did not notice or care about the husband in these marriages.
I was fully convinced that Mormons were like, the single Christian sect that was just really cool with lesbians for some reason 🥴😩
😂😂😂
i’m living for the phrase “the depths of lesbian delusion” 🤣🤣
This story is hysterical, and sad.
Ridiculous that the same old white men who enforce these ancient, archaic "laws", are beating off to lesbian porn at night. Hypocrites.
Mormans aren’t Christian!! Their a completely different religion
@@Aloekitti well not completely different, they still believe in Jesus and the Christian God specifically. But you're mostly right.
I can’t stop looking at your mustache and seeing two caterpillars kissing each other
This comment is precious 😁😇
Thanks now I won't be able to unsee it 😂
delete this 😭
Gay caterpillars kissing :)
I know, so hot!
Kurtis is like the cool uncle you dont see often
No he’s not
he’s the cool uncle i don’t have
I'd say he's more of the best friends hot dad
@@SheridanM-dc1nk least obvious rage bait
cuncle
My coworker was roommates with Tom welling from smallville and said that he absolutely pulled when they were in living together 😂
god I wish that were me
"i'm damaging myself psychologically for life and setting an example of that for my children and my wife is complicit in it and also she and my kids were only ever an ambition and not a passion no matter how much i love them now"
that is so tragic 😥
"Only an ambition, not a passion" damn that's good
Sped comment but okay
As someone who 1) is queer, and 2) used to be a part of this religion, this is literally the path that people take. The options for queer mormons are to stay single, enter a beard relationship, or leave the church. They literally have resources and testimonials for queer youth "Struggling with same sex attraction" (yes, that is the term used by the church) where people will "experience same sex attraction" and then enter a heterosexual marriage with God "at the enter" and be happy. That's the way that it goes. This show is more real than most reality TV.
i went through the exact same thing. i came out at 13, born into the church, and have still active family members who dont quite understand. it truly is sad to think how many people might be denying this part of themselves out of fear of their salvation or being looked down on by their ward members :/
Can you explain the show about the swingers because I assumed Mormons didn't do that lol
thats messed up thou
Ok I read this comment wrong and I thought it was saying that they made people get heterosexually married to God. And I was like, even if they’re men? How does that work (personally I don’t see God as having a gender but I know that Mormons specifically see God as a man)
@@MeeYeeWeeWee polygamy and swinging are different things. The LDS officially banned polygamy, but some offshoot sects still practice it quietly.
I'm a former mormon living in Utah and this show makes me so sad. I understand their reasoning so much because I've seen it happen. They want to protect their family relationships and their relationship with God so much that they have to deny who they are. It breaks my heart.
Same. I remember having so much cognitive dissonance as a Mormon because the church sees being gay as a "trail" someone has to overcome. I've literally heard people compare it to having an addiction you have to overcome. I never saw the issue. It's so sad that the church teaches that this is the best case scenario
it makes me so sad bc their sexuality will not change their relationship with God. and it always angers me to see ppl be made to believe these things.
not kurtis healing parts of my religious trauma
i love that kurtis felt the need to come out to us as straight. we still love u ❤️ don’t support the lifestyle tho
LMFAO
I’m fine with the straight lifestyle as long as it’s not on TV
yeah i dont support the lifestyle, but as long as he doesnt shove it down our throats or makes it his personality its fine :/ /s
@@kaitlynmorgan4613 I am so sick of straight propaganda in our media! I hate this woke crap being shoved down our throats.
His lifestyle choice is entirely up to him.
But I do agree that their culture is a little... I don't know....
1:42 small correction, 1500 documented. There’s probably way way more, cause it’s not something you see everyday and not something that’s equally clear in all species
Im a zoologist, and as stated by one of my professors: “Where we look for it, we find it.”
The number of insect species that are obligate practitioners of incest is staggering, so it might be good to limit the reach just to animals with a vaguely similar lifecycle to humans'.
he did say “over” 1500… but you’re right! i think it’s such a cool fact :-)
Another zoologist and ethologist here, and I am of a firm belief that every single species that has a common social gender and sex "binary" has at least one individual who could be considered "queer". The cool thing about studying and understanding other lifeforms is figuring out that expressions, social norms, cultures and experiences are sometimes very similar to ours, but sometimes incomprehensible to us as well. That's why "queer" is the best term here. Some ancient human cultures had homosexuality so normalised it was just daily life, therefore they wouldn't have referred to themselves as "homosexual". And in this similar sense, a gender or sexuality in humans might be differently perceived in snakes or weevils, for example. There are individuals among non-human animals who could be considered asexual or transgender in our terms as well, but compared to us, they don't tend to have any social stigma placed upon them, so someone who is e.g. a male individual but prefers to socially express themselves as feminine for their species, to their peers they wouldn't be transgender, they just *Would Be.* I find that beautiful, and that's something we could have as well if people weren't assigned genders.
But all in all, queerness is in all of us, to some extent. We're a bunch of cells who all share genes with others. These experiences that we have are so incredibly simple yet complex. It's endearing to know that you're never really alone and that you can find friends everywhere. And yes, this number is strictly about documented examples, not about the precise number.
Weird correction but alright
I grew up mormon and this kind of thing happens a lot.
I left around age 14 because I kept being told that my attractions were wrong, that I had no power as a woman and had to be subservient to a man. Obviously they don't word it that way because it sounds bad, and the mormon church is really good at making things sound "good"
But I had a friend in high school that was gay and very adamant about how his queerness was actually just another hurdle that god gave him to overcome.
Shit made me so sad, bro.
There is a good ending, though. I recently found him on insta and he's been in a queer relationship for a while and they run a cute little soap business, haha.
awe, that soap business sounds wholesome
Is his name Tyler Durden?
Aww! That sounds so nice, I’m really happy for them :)
fellow (semi) mormon :D i dont exactly agree with all of the stuff the church says, but im still in it i guess 0.0
@@C0SM1XXS Lol I am absolutely not a part of the church anymore. I left around 12 years ago when I was 14ish. The lds church is extremely homophobic and misogynistic in their core beliefs.
I'm not saying you are or that every member is, and I'm genuinely glad for you if that belief system makes you happy. For me personally though, I can't be a part of a system that pities my existence.
You know how Ekans spells Snake BACK-wards (pun intended), what does SSA spell backwards? 🤔
Any time I see Kurtis’ face it reminds me pf the meme of someone saying post malone’s mustache looks like two capybaras kissing because Kurtis’ mustache looks exactly like that.
Thanks, now I'm never going to un-see that. -_-
i see it
Sped comment but okay
I see retro Atari's logo all over that stash.
Mantis shrimp
The fact that some bronze age dudes thousands of years ago got it in their heads that love is bad if the lovers both have the same genitals and we're still dealing with the consequences in 2024 is batshit insane
Fr I wanna see what the world would have looked like if people were more open minded back then, like a parallel universe type deal
They didn’t. It’s a translation/transcription problem
didn’t you get exposed
And they say humans are the rational animal. We, as a species, don't think much, make much sense and classify ourselves as 'thinking beings'. It is so crappy that we cannot use our own brains properly.
@@aetoreousexposed for what
When my mom first told me about gay people, she told me about a woman who was a lesbian but repented and married a man and now goes around preaching about not acting on homosexuality. She says she still is a lesbian, she just doesn't act on it, which is what my parents believe is right. I really hope she's bisexual and is actually happy in her marriage. I think about her a lot.
bruh my mom used to tell me this EXACT same story but her version was a male gay pastor that "chooses" to be straight 🙄🙄😭😭
My parents also think this way. They also believe that it's caused by some sort of trauma (which I personally think is stupid) or a brain disorder (this one I'm unsure. If we're talking about neurodivergence, I've only heard that ND people are more willing to explore sexuality and gender identity compared to NTs, but I've never seen any proof that being LGTBQ+ has any direct correlation with being ND)
this is about jackie hill perry isn't it...
Also, side-note, they didn't "use to do" conversion therapy, that's still happening. Some people are moving away from it... Not everyone though.
kurtis is if the most bisexual man was created then last minute they flipped a switch that made him straight but kept everything else
🤣
Sped comment but okay
@@ville-c4uwe love the ableism king!
@@ville-c4uwhat on earth are you talking about? Weirdo
@@ville-c4uwhat does this even mean!! ableist freak!
Dude, the fact that you're surprised by anything anymore is a surprise
@@ville-c4u kurtis is popular enough to get spam bot comments in the replies lets go
@@IAmDominiXX sped comment but okay
@@ville-c4u lol
@@ville-c4u not being a bot and typing this in comments is more embarrassing and sped than anything🤧
For me it's never that I CAN'T believe it, it's that I don't WANT to.
“We can’t believe it either, mayor!” We all shout in unison
WE CAN’T BELIEVE IT EITHER, MAYOR!
We can’t believe it either, mayor!
I can.
M.Y C.o..ntent IS .WAY. BE.TTER TH_AN THIS :Ñ~~Ñ
.
.
.
....
WE CAN'T BELIEVE IT EITHER, MAYOR!
TLC comes out with the craziest shit 😭😭
You and Chadchad really have perfected the art of ear candy comedy; the sound clips are friggin hilarious sometimes.
I paused the video and when I pressed play I was hit with, "naked men..." *sexy music*
Big agree, they’ve gotten really good at this whole UA-cam thing.
the "ewwwwww" after he talked about priests balls had me dying lmaooo 2:20
So, if I understand what you say at the end correctly about LDS not making conversion therapies anymore, they went from "let's torture gay people" to "let make gay people torture themselves".
They switched from stick shift to automatic.
My family is mormon and my cousin is currently going through this, its so upsetting to see. He’s confided in me about being attracted to men and has dated men in the past, but is still in deep deep denial. I just wish he could be happy, it hurts seeing him beat himself up for not being able to change his sexuality.
I was that kid. Adults that were safe spaces, not trying to push hard either way (you have to embrace yourself! Or you have to hide to be "worthy"), just accept me exactly as I was, were life saving.
Eventually, I did open up to self-acceptance because I went to a queer Mormon youth thing (not sponsored by the church obviously). I HIGHLY recommend looking into Affirmation. It's an organization that just embraces you exactly where you are in your LGBTQ/Mormon journey. This was also life saving for me. They have youth specific programs
Definitely the Mama Dragons too, they're a group of moms of LGBTQ+ kids with some sort of history with Mormonism. They have a very strong network of support across the country for "baby dragons" (queer/trans Mormon youth)
Poor baby
Sped comment but okay
Stay in good contact with him. He prolly needs ppl like you around him desperately and when shit goes down
The way she looked when he brought up the camping trip, PRICELESS!! 😅😂😂😂
Hey Kurtis! Just wanna say I appreciate how you handled the subject matter and pointed out how deeply sad it is to suppress your sexuality out of fear of going to hell rather than just making fun of those guys
i did feel like there was a good balance of humor and like. genuine sadness
2:21 cant believe him, said balls without the barbie clip
im literally shaking how could he do this
Unsubscribed immediately
WE'RE LOSING HIM
He is changing....
The end of an Era 😢🕊
SSA stands for side - side - angle, and it means a triangle with known lengths of two sides and one known angle that is not between the two sides (math blog team 2017).
omg pink triangle! its all coming together...
Same I thought it was about triangle congruency lol 😭🤚
Oh well no wonder that acronym had sounded familiar!
I'm not sure who an angle is, but I hope those two sides and their third partner are happy together. lol
I was born in a religious family too, and being a "SSA" myself, I know what it is to have the pressure to feel something you don't. It's so sad seeing how they say they are doing the correct thing, what they are supposed to do, but not what they genuinely want to, or act on what they feel. Nobody in this video looks happy, not the husbands, not the wives. And it's easy to understand why. Romantic relationships should be about spontaneity, enjoy each others company, to admire the person by your side, and, of course, desire them and be desired back. It's not always easy, but it certainly should never be that hard. What they have is like a 24/7 job! And a bad one for that matter.
I love how SSA is literally ASS backwards lol (edited to say) thanks for the upvotes lol yes I know it’s not upvotes.
Lol
Not the Australian Secret Service!
The whole thing is ass backwards too LMAO
@@iampotsataja oh no
The whole show is ass backwards 🤣🤣
Hey folks 👏🏻
As a kurtistown citizen for years and a raised tried and true ex Mormon gay boy this has felt soooo full circle for me :) seeing my fav UA-camr validate the crazyness that is Mormon homophobia felt amazing, thank you Kurtis and thanks for making kurtistown a place where us gays are not just safe but welcome and loved ❤️🧡💛💚💙🩷
happy that you left!!! im sure it wasnt easy!
I’m so proud of you for leaving and continuing to pursue your best life
Also queer, raised Mormon! Was forced to go until the day I turned 18 🥲 they don’t believe in gay marriage but believe the bullshit Joseph smith spewed to be able to marry and sleep with underage girls 🙃
👏👏👏
i grew up jw as a bisexual girl which is a pretty similar experience lol I'm glad we both made it out okay❤
Exmormon here. Your trio of danny, drew and yourself were some of the first "unsacred" content i watched. Hell, i was still mormon and i refused to watch you dr witnesser video lol, but i definetly owe it to you guys and my brother who introduced me to see that not every single not family friendly thing was bad, and without the clever comedy you guys had, i may not have seen it that way. I fortunately never ended up having significant trauma, but i worry what would happen if i stayed.
I can confidently tell you 99% of members watch "unsacred" content. Some watch R rated movies and shows. I have no idea what you mean by significant trauma, nothing would have happened if you stayed. You could watch these videos perfectly fine
@@classiccj2569 they tell you they have trauma and you say "bullshit mormonism would never do that to you". please reflect on it a little
@classiccj2569 nothing would've happened? Look at my religious family who caused me trauma (trauma directly corrolated to LDS, mind you) and what I meant by significant trauma is that i feel like comparing my experience to others I probably got the long end of the stick.
@@spookeymo sure there are families who could induce trauma on their kid, but the church wouldn't directly traumatize a kid.
I'd also like to mention that it's not "mormonism" we are Christian. We don't follow Mormon or praise Mormon, we praise Jesus. We are The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Ya it's a long name, but you can't leave Jesus's name out of it because He is the cornerstone of the church.
@@Funkbeat_W you still explained nothing. All you said in reply to me saying "I don't know how you have trauma" is "I have trauma." I'm not trying to discredit you or say it's impossible for you to have trauma because you were in the church. There can still be families who might traumatize their child. But the church directly wouldn't induce trauma. Just saying that it's "directly correlated to LDS" says nothing
What's really sad is that a lot of the people living like this will have had very poor education on LGBT topics if any at all from religious schooling. So their knowledge of it is probably as black-and-white as either being gay or straight, hence the concept of being Bi or Pan isn't even considered.
Aint no such ting bro, wrap it up 💔🙏🏿
Perfect timing, needed something to watch while doing my school stuff which I end up not doing
SAME
He posted like perfect timing I was gonna watch his other videos
Same
Real 😭
I mean if you're gonna procrastinate you might as well enjoy your time lmao
As an exmormon, I often hear members saying things like "oh the church is accepting of gay people now!!" meaning yeah it's fine if you "struggle with same-sex attraction" but you're gonna have to marry the opposite gender so you can marry in the temple and go to the highest heaven. It's disgusting, that's not accepting gay people!
Ohhh my god, this! Some people are lacking so much self awareness it’s crazy!!
@@JustDuckiest the fact that when people in the church say shit like that they think they are being saints💀
I'm glad you were able to leave Mormondy. I found out this lady was a exmormon and also under the assumption I would not be nice to them anymore due to dying their hair green the second one was said to me first so I was under the asssumption maybe I had gotten drunk at one point and told people the color green bothered me deeply. Her and her husband were in Canada in fear that we considered them evil due to being interracially married, when it was moreso they were super exceedingly nice people and we figrured they wanted privacy. Their story was some 1800s one drop rule type nonsense for real. Since then I've called Utah Mormondy.
It's been 1,271 days since Kurtis' last extra greeting, and I still have not emotionally recovered
thank god for u omg i lost count like four months ago
Is this true? This is heartbreaking I didn’t know it had been this long
@@theavocadodealer2345 it was over 3 years ago. The first bratz vs Barbie’s video was the first without it
I’ve been thinking about this for so long…
I’ve been rewatching his old videos so much and yes. extra greeting is missed