So i spoke the chorus of this song to my now ex when we broke up back in janurary and i havent really listened to this song since then. I cant remember when i started to stop waiting for her and to start livong but hearing this just now brought me back there. I love seeing my growth! Yet now i'm starting to miss her. I havent thought about her in so long and this feeling is bittersweet. I did my mourning. I went through all of the text messages and DM's and photos trying to see whatvi did wrong but all i discovered was that i didnt do anything wrong. I didnt fumble or self sabotage. Learning that was so liberating. I had conditioned myself for so long to believe that i did. Shoutout therapy, Neville Goddard, and Hermeticism for helping me become stronger and in tune with myself. To anyone going through it, theres a light at the end of the tunnel. You got this!
Holy crap the song hits completely different on rewatches if you consider the "I don't want to go" as being from the memories of her, and so the chorus etc is pleading to stick around.
As soon as the song ended and you broke down the first lyrics I stopped and said "why is she yelling at me!?" 😭 I bury things for every reason you mentioned
So one important line that I think was missed was “I can wait for you at the bottom, I can stay away if you want me to.” My interpretation of the song is that the subject is going through a downward spiral and the narrator is trying to hold onto the relationship but can’t.
Im taking therapy for anxiety and self-esteem for many aspects in my life and no matter how many times i watch just prettend i’m having a mental breakdown bc i had a tortuous relationship with an ex bf, where i knew he wasnt good for me and i still did it. Now this song was a whiplash to those days and i felt deeply sorry for the past me. Healing is definetily caring ❤
From Wings: I understand feeling sorry for the past you. It's best to acknowledge those feelings. Along with that, self forgiveness is essential. It sounds like you are taking the necessary steps to avoid repeating past mistakes. Hang in there!
From Micro: It sounds like you've had a breakthrough moment that is now leading you to more compassion for yourself. How beautiful! I hope that this will be the first step towards many in supporting yourself as well as being kind to your heart. You've had your own share of pain and heartbreak, and the past you dealt with the cards, knowledge, resources that were available at the time. They survived as they could, and that is something to be proud of. You can now also look back and see how much you have grown and learned too. Hold fast friend. And may your journey through therapy be a strong, healing one for you. :orange_heart:
Don't know if I'm pretending to be okay or faking it, but I'm honestly just trying to live my life out as best as I can with what I have. I recently discovered Too Close to touch's "Sympathy" and the chorus there kind of changed my whole perspective on things: "Don't you dare say I'm gonna make it, cause I don't believe a word you say. There's a sickness living inside me, you can spare me all your sympathy" I think I've just accepted my depression and the things that's caused it (don't get me wrong, it sucks, and I do really hate how it affects my energy levels and stuff). I ended up on the edge of a bridge in March and was ready to jump, but I couldn't do it, the thought of my son, my friends and my cats stopped me, and someone eventually walked past and helped me back onto the bridge. After that and hearing "Sympathy" I've sort of accepted that I will always have my sickness (in this case the depression) and I'm not gonna make it, I know it will get me some day eventually. But I'm more content with it now, content enough to make sure I at least live my life to the absolute fullest to make sure I have as little regrets as possible the day it finally gets me.
I only recently discovered this song. As always, your excitement and the purity of your enjoyment is amazing! It's not just a clinical analysis, it's a: "I love this and also here's my professional opnion". Would love you to do a reaction of Never Too Late by Three Days Grace at some point. Been recently going through some of your reactions to some of my favourite songs. Keep up the good work
So timely I just saw this as you uploaded. This whole album rocks! I’m struggling with the faking it til you make it thing. I feel like I can’t really express anything at all anywhere unless there’s a catalyst that will enable me, which in this sense is music. The going is rough and some days I just can’t stand it because of how disrupting it gets, and feels like I’m lying to myself as I fake it til I make it. But I guess the only way is through. Haven’t been able to listen to song in full due to a very recent event, but somehow coping thru the other songs in this album, which was a gateway band to me to discovering Sleep Token. Also LOL @ your giggle in the beginning. Haha.
From ThriceTheThird: I struggled with the phrase fake it till you make it for a long time, until I began to understand that I think what this phrase is trying to imply is the concept of "You can't be anything that you don't believe yourself capable of being." So that by believing that you can become, and are the best at what you do. While also investing time and effort. Are the thing that mold a person into being the best. You are not faking it because it's fake. You are faking it because it's in the process of becoming true. This is just how my brain worked that phrase into something useful for me. I have no idea how it's truly meant to be interpreted.
From Micro: "Fake it 'til you make it" can be an interesting perspective, but also how challenging it is once we really put it into practice! Opening up in itself can be so very difficult and feel *unsafe*. Somehow you invite others into your private world, you expose parts of your soul that are very vulnerable - and putting it out to the open feels like a risk. The risk of being hurt, of being judged, of being misunderstood, of being invalidated... We welcome others reactions and response in the conversation, but at the same time there's not way to really know how it will go. Expressing things is surely a learning process in itself, and it may take time for many of us to feel comfortable doing it. Personally, with social anxiety especially, I've progressively realized that it's really like a muscle to train - which is how I've taken the "fake it til you make it" at my advantage over time. At some times there's going to be fails - either on my end, or on the end of the person I'm talking to -, but each time I *try* to express myself means that I am enlarging the diversity of experiences I have, and therefore creating a habit of extending my comfort zone. For a long time though it sucked and only *felt* like pure agony. The changes and progression were very subtle. But it's journey that is worth it overall, because it's about pursuing something that is right *for you*. It's truly wonderful that you have at least this outlet of music to express yourself and resonate with your own emotional world. You have identified something powerful that can help others understand you better, but also for you to really put words - or notes - on how you feel. Sometimes words are not enough to express the complexity of what we feel inside, but creativity/art in general can really be a powerful crutch on that matter. finding a song that resonates with you, and sharing it with someone, can be a very meaningful way to still express yourself and parts of who you are. I hope that, with time, the discomfort of expressing yourself will be overshadowed by more confidence in your voice, and in your *right* to share it. You absolutely deserve to be heard when you need it. And... for what it's worth, you succeeded at it right here in this comment! ;)
If I'm being honest, I don't really care what you are reacting to, your energy and emotion is worth the watch. The fact that you keep reacting to music I love is just a bonus. :) EDIT: Sorry. I just noticed this is an old one, not that my opinion has changed....
The title is so clickbait-y 😅 but your comments and analysis of the lyrics was great! I want to become a therapist too (music therapist to be exact) and I love Bad Omens too, they're my favorite band! ❤🖤
From Mamadien: It always seems easier to say "I'm okay" instead of being honest. Being honest feels like such a risk. I totally feel you on this and yeah, someone keeps asking and it's easy to go from sad to mad. Thank you for speaking up.
From EvilGenius: Hey friend. First of all, I 100% do understand how you're feeling. I do also know that sometimes it's tough to be open about your emotions. When others insist it can be annoying. Sometimes we just need our own space. Your emotions should be expressed in your own time
From Micro: Yea, it's annoying - if not purely distressing - when someone asks how you're doing and really insists on having an accurate answer. From an external perspective, I would imagine that it usually comes from genuine care. If someone sees you crying or seemingly being sad, they can start to worry for you and wonder how they can support you. "How are you?" is usually the first step towards that kind of conversation. But how stressful that can be to be asked that, especially if you're just not in the mood for talking. Personally, if someone sees me sad and crying, I also tend to have adverse reactions. It's not comfortable to feel that vulnerable, even less to know that someone saw you in that spot. It makes sense to push others away and to just want to protect yourself when it feels all your inner barriers are gone. So many time, because I wouldn't want to be seen, I used to cry in silence even if I'd share the same room as someone else. Weird to describe, but it's definitely part of those times when you just feel a high need to protect yourself. It feels easier to get hurt when we're already hurting and vulnerable. I hope that, with time, there can be more open conversations for you about how you feel. Just because your voice matters, as much as your inner world. It's okay if sometimes it feels impossible to wear a mask. Truth be told, the way it is *received* by others is their sole responsibility. In the end, you're not wrong for having a plurality of emotions, and you wouldn't be wrong if you ever decide to *say* how you really feel. Sometimes we're so used to the need of wearing a mask that it becomes automatic. But with people who are trustworthy, who love us as much as we love them, there is a path on which we can learn to lay down our masks when they are not necessary. Ultimately, there's a right time for everything. Wishing for you to always follow your heart on that matter, and to choose when it is appropriate to share things when *you* feel like it. Hold fast, friend.
There my favorite band right now they have a real possibility to become my favorite all time they are unbelievably talented and it’s not like just one of them is talented there all insanely talented
Ok I... Would like to share my own experience of break up which happened last year just in case someone going through hell like I did in 2023 finds this and may find a soothing story here. First of all I totally agree with what you said in the video. As a person who felt like the clients she supports, I can tell you that eveything here is accurate trust me. Anyway, in my own experience, I find myself feeling that I am not worthy of anything when I am single. So when I broke up with my gf, my world just crumbled. The only thing that kept me going at first was to believe that "'Okay, she WILL come back one day, so what I have to do in the meanwhile is to work on myself, so when the time comes she won't find a desparate heart in pieces, begging for her to come back. She'll find a man who learned from this experience and came back stronger than ever". After some time it was almost like an obsession, so I took some distance with my thoughts and started to repeat to myself that "I have to do this for me first, not her, she is like a bonus, but the objective is myself". So after that, for many months I continued working on myself, doing sport, reading, learning, started piano and so on... I was still thinking about her A LOT but it wasn't like back then, now I was focused on being a better person for the world in general, a world in which she now MAY come back one day. Regularly I found myself thinking that no matter what I can do, if she isn't there I am not worthy anyway. Dispite everything I worked for these last months, I was still struggling with my own head. But I kept going anyway. And one day, a girl entered my life. And she made me forget instantly my ex gf. Because she saw that worth in me that I couldn't see myself. Today, we are not together, we just met. But since someone else truly recognized me, I feel like no matter if it works out or not, I know that there are people in this world that see me as a good and loving person. So I can finally acknowledge it myself. So what about the future ? Will my ex gf come back ? Maybe. Will I be the happiest person alive with this girl I met recently ? Maybe. I can not predict the future. All I know is that I will be fine, getting excited for whatever I am waiting for. In the meanwhile, I'll just continue to spread love as much as I can around me, because this world needs it. Be a good heart, even when you don't feel like it. I know it's hard sometimes. Trust me I know... But it's so brave to not let the darkness consume you and your personnality. You are a sun. Give light to people around. Shine and you will attract. Just wait for it to happen. Whatever happens. Take care of you. I'm proud of you.
Can you react to the new album from Polaris called - FATALISM it is a big mental health album dealing with the loss of their beloved band mate Ryan Lew who passed just recently, there’s a lot of mental help messages in almost every song of the album 10/10 recommend
This song in video makes me literally cry in grief so much for some reason because I overthink In it resonates with my life so much because I have always pushed my feelings way down because I've always been told that I need to be a man in not show weakness or be a pu$$ or dramatic I was never allowed to show emotions growing up
From Micro: Well done for crying, friend. Well done for letting these emotions out. Well done for allowing yourself to feel it all, and on top of it for expressing how this experience is for you. What you've done here, through this comment and through this grief that you are naming, is so important, so fundamental. You are a *person*, and every human being on this earth has emotions - which should never be shamed or repressed. You are allowed to feel - to be human. Life is hard enough as it is, and it is okay to give yourself the time and space you need to free yourself from these lies that you were told as you grew up. the myth of "manning up" and not showing emotions is so hard to live with. I can relate to you to some extent as in my own family, while growing up, showing emotions was just taboo. Internally I knew I could not go to my parents to tell them when I'm not okay. If I had to cry, I would do it in my room and try to be as silent as possible - because the fear of being caught and grounded for it was huge. As a result, I have spent most of my childhood and adult life not understanding my emotions most of the time, and enduring them rather than owing them. It's awful when you grow up in a place where emotions are not told, where you are supposed to keep up appearances. It creates habits that are difficult to understand, deconstruct and reverse over time. And it is just such a lonely place to be. Feeling these things inside that are so deep, yet feeling at the same time that it is utterly wrong to feel that way. It is as if it was forbidden to even be human in the first place, which is so unfair. It's such an injustice. My heart goes out to you as you explore your emotions and learn to experience that *feeling* is not a bad thing. That you can cry *and* be safe at the same time. That your tears are not the reflection of your character - but of your own humanity. Feelings are never something to debate or to be called wrong. It just is. It is absolutely powerful that you've named these experiences and lies that were told to you. I feel with you the inner conflict it creates, and how much un-safety it somehow triggers within. It's like your heart leans towards a direction, but your mind has learned different ways and is opposed to it. But through your post here, you also share how much you *know* intuitively that what was told to you in the past was wrong. It is the shaming and guilt-trip put on you that was wrong. Never how you felt, never you for being you. For what it's worth from a stranger, I'm so very proud of you for letting the tears be. You are experiencing a kind of grief that is deeply heartbreaking. At the same time, you are also moving on a path that will provide healing and restoration to your heart. It may have been in need of it for a long time, and you deserve to give yourself all the care, patience and attention you need - and always needed. Sending hugs your way, friend. <3
First I love your reaction and that you analyse the lyrics, cause this is the part which makes a song more emotional and relatable.🙏 Second is you NEED to check out the band "CITIZEN SOLDIER"❤. Because this is one of THE mental-health bands out there. Their songs hit right in the feels even when's a heavy banger or a sad ballad, cause their lyrics are 💔. Besides they always have lyric-videos, cause they want that the listener is been heard, especially in their darkest hours, so they show they're not alone. Requests by this band are: "Monster Made Of Memories"😈, "Afterlife"🙏, "Strong For Somebody Else"💪🏻, "Fever"🔥 (heavy bangers🤘🏻). And the other side with "Waiting On The Sun"☀️, "Reason To Live"🙌, "This Is Your Sign"(;)💙, "Always December"❄ and "Hand Me Down"😔. (emotional rollercoasters 🥺💔). Hope that you're well and that you give them a chance.🙏
Hiii i'm from Brazil I love your reacts We need makes a react one band Much , muchhhh popular from Brazil Band : rosa de Saron Song : Invernia Brazilian go love your react Thanks
My wife is divorcing me she's been having an affair for at least a month and can't stop blaming me. We are almost a week separated and I just can't come to grips with it. I want nothing more than to go back in time and fix it before it's too late. I have never felt so helpless in my life.
From DyllonKG: @travisheckaman2175 Hey there my friend. I am so so sorry to hear about the situation that you are in right now and I do not blame you at all for what you're feeling. I could imagine feeling so betrayed and hurt, but also feeling like I could've been better. Treated them better. Spent more time or been nicer. I could imagine sleepless nights and lack of appetite. Just anguish. Im so sorry. I was just recently married a few months ago to my wife. Sometimes I get anxious about it. I really love her but worry that I am not enough. Or not good enough. I've always struggled with my self worth and with feeling like I deserve what I have. I sort of have it in my brain sometimes that you have to earn love and earn affection. I went to therapy about 5 years ago to unravel a lot of that. A lot of it stems from my parents. The people that shouldve shown me unconditional love didn't really show up for me in that way. And so I assumed that nobody will. Through my therapist I sort of unraveled that I was putting pressure on myself to earn love, instead of understanding that that isn't the way it should be. Intrusive thoughts still come up in my marriage. But when they do, I sometimes talk to my wife. And we always have a quote for each other - "I choose you. Every day. This love is a choice." In that, we mean that yes, we may have little crushes on other people. Or get bored sometimes. We may fight. But as long as we are both trying our hardest - we choose each other. We make the conscious choice to be here in this pact that we made. If one of us broke that pact - then that would be another choice. I dont know your wife. I dont know your situation. But leaving instead of talking, going to therapy or anything like that sounds like a choice that they made. I dont think that changes your worth as a person or whether or not you deserve love. I know that what Im sharing and typing wont fix the world. Hell, it may not make you feel worlds better. I just hope that you can see that you're worth it. Your pain is real. The anguish is real. But you still have value in spite of all of that. Ok? Thanks so much for posting here friend. Dont be afraid to reach back out and post again should you need more support, another listening ear, anything. Hold fast.
@HeartSupport thank you for those kind words if it wasn't for my girls I would have already given up. But I can't even begin to describe what a difference you just made in my mindset today.
I'm just pretending to live life and want to be awake at this point. Just pretending to be happy. My boy is the only thing keeping me around. Not gonna kill myself but without him and going through university as an old man I am not sure what I'd have.
From Carmony2: @wallied3583 Your resilience to keep going is so very motivating. You see the good things in your life: your son and the University, and you use those things to keep going even though you're feeling empty inside. I hope you can see that and find more motivation within yourself to keep looking for the beautiful things around you that make it worth living this life for. That "talent" of Pretending To Do Life, is a hard one to learn. I believe we can become lost behind those masks we wear for protection, when all we are trying to do is fit in and feel normal...whatever normal means. We want to be awake, but we have been faking it so long, we've forgotten what that looks like. And that can be scary. Sometimes it's the only way I've survived for months at a time, hiding behind the Mask of Fake. It's exhausting and it feels like an imposter is in my place. Then I think maybe I was the Imposter and people like the Fake Me better. Sometimes I do as well. But she's not ME. You'll take your mask off when you feel you're ready. And when you do, you will shine brightly. I'm glad you found Support. Allow the music you love guide you through your troubling times my Friend. Carmony
@HeartSupport I pretend to be okay because I feel embarrassed about my emotions, especially for the people around me everyday. I don’t do anything about it ever. Some big part of me doesn’t want to get better and that part is much more prevalent than the side that wants help. I’m not sure how anything can ever help if I don’t want help😅
From Wings: I suspect there is no reason for you to be embarrassed about your emotions. Everyone has emotions they won't admit to. Even people who are pretty good at sharing emotions probably have a few they'd be embarrassed about sharing. So, I guess I'm trying to say is there's no need to be embarrassed about embarrassing emotions. :upside_down_face: I think if you identify with your emotions, controlling or modifying them could feel like losing some of your identity. It's like asking yourself the question "without these emotions, who am I?" Fear not! There's a zillion percent more to you than just your emotions. Actually, your emotions respond to your thoughts. Your thoughts come from the consciousness that exists behind the inner dialogue that we "hear." Anyhow, relax. Thoughts and emotions drift through like clouds. However, unlike clouds, we can decide which ones to nurture and which to let go of.
From NateTriesAgain: This is actually a phenomenally self-aware admission. I'm embarrassed about my emotions - I want to get better, but there's another part in me that is warring against that, and it's winning. How do I get out of this place of being stuck? How do I get more of me to buy into the idea of getting help? This is a beautiful awareness of what is going on inside of you. My wife says over and over and over, "The beginning of change is always awareness." The fact that you're able to name that part of you is resistant is certainly the first step towards change. Before trying to dive headlong into seeking help though I'm curious - what is it about that part of you that is embarrassed? What is it inside of you that doesn't want to seek help? For me - I struggle with an addiction to porn, and I remember the very first time I spoke those words out loud. I was f--king terrified. I was literally shaking in my boots when I told these two guys who were kind of mentoring me at the time that I had this secret struggle. I was embarrassed because I felt like no one would understand me, no one struggles this way, I am disgusting, I am the worst. And deeper than that, I thought it would change the way they looked at me, and ultimately, they would confirm the fears I have about myself- that I'm unlovable and that I'll be rejected. If you're anything like me - I can definitely understand why you'd struggle to seek help. It is indeed terrifying, especially that first step. But one of the most profound things that I realized - and continue to realize over time...that just absolutely boggles my mind...is that every time I'm vulnerable - people don't think less of me, they actually respect me more. They are more drawn to me. They want to be in relationship with me because people find comfort in others who have courage. Which, is what I see in you making this post here. So thank you for having the courage to take this first step. Well done.
I struggle with the fake it till you make it. I act fine in front of everyone all day, and then I break down in my room at night with my music. I also didn't realize that the embodiment thing was an actually thing. I have been taking the characteristics and dressing as Ricky Olson (one of the guitarists of Motionless In White) for a way to be happy. I've also been turning to learning how to play my guitars as well to be like him, so I don't do anything stupid when I'm really down or angry with myself or the world around me. @HeartSupport
From eagertuna0: Thank you for sharing with us and for being here. It can be so disheartening when it feels like we need to be okay and act like everything is just fine around others while struggling with turbulent emotions inside. Sometimes, getting through a day really can be a lot, and I know it's such a struggle when all those emotions just build and build and build, and we need to let them explode at the end of the day. With that said, it's wonderful to hear that you are building healthy coping mechanisms. Music really is a wonderful outlet for emotions and it's amazing to hear that you're learning to play guitar! That's so exciting and I hope that continues to be a positive outlet, both for emotions and to just have some time to enjoy yourself. And who knows -- maybe one day, you'll be able to play like Ricky Olson! -Tuna
@heartsupport The end there where she's talking about stuff... I didn't come here to get judged (kidding), but a lot of that is very true & eye opening.
@HeartSupport I pretend to be ok, I smile and nod When it comes to night when family / partner were/ are asleep I tear up in silence But I’m 23 and don’t know where I’m going in life and don’t know what my purpose is or how to find it. I always tell myself I would like to be wealthy one day and happy / kind person but right now this tunnel doesn’t seem like a tunnel anymore it seems like I’m at the bottom of the ocean walking continuously with no light in sight. I have broken up with my partner few years ago and then got back together thinking I’d be ok again I guess I was happy or atleast she made me forget about the unhappiness I guess until (last few weeks it just felt like she didn’t respect me as her partner/as a person and treated me like a dog when she said here boy she’d expect me to come) type thing my actual main reason Started mainly since last couple years of school after I had open heart surgery I lost my motivation and happiness. I’m Australian so my atar was awful / not great to go straight into uni and then even that I didn’t know what I wanted to do for my future. I’m not stupid but I’m not a straight A student either During school I wasn’t the most popular person but I had a lot of people that knew me and few “real” friends but had a lot of fake friends or acquaintances I guess. Now those few real friends moved away I still sometimes keep in touch and see them very occasionally. I feel stuck, lost and lonely. I wouldn’t say I hate socialising but I find it quite draining with certain people. I use to be more of a extrovert and would speak to anyone say anything wtc but I feel like I’ve lost myself and I’m more of an introvert now but I feel like it’s because I suppressed who I was because of a previous partner for so long I lost me. As well on top of everything @heartsupport
From ThriceTheThird: @Rick-gz4ug Hey! When I was younger, I'm kind of old now in my mid 30s, I also wanted wealth/love as my main focus' in life. I learned through, achieving the "material dream" side of success when I was with my last long term partner, that none of that was the answer for me. I was grateful for learning this lesson, but it was also a hard lesson to learn at the same time. It was when I first hit rock bottom, realizing that wealth\ an attractive partner, and having the things I need. Were not the answer to me feeling happy, and not wanting to be alive anymore. I also had the similar situation where I was with someone for that amount of time, and I became very accustomed to the way they treated me, and the expectations that they put on me(some of which I do not think were healthy expectations). After that relationship it had me feeling a lot of insecurity when trying to weed through the things that were correct about that relationships expectations, and the things that were not correct. I am still effected by it today I think, a little bit, but it was a long time ago now, so the effects are much lessoned. I think that the answers for me, that have really helped me grow past some of these things. Were I worked really hard on beating the co-dependency side of my personality and growing self-love to try to be more self sufficient in my emotions, and to not rely on others so heavily for the gratifications I needed. Self-gratification, through building healthy routines/outlets for some of the feelings I was experiencing. I think it will be important that you try to find the things that make YOU happy, and just YOU. Trying to build routines, a career, hobbies, around the things that make you feel this way. Regardless of who you are with, and understanding that no matter what things you find that you love. People who truly care about you will be accepting of that person. You should not try to force yourself to change for someone who is not treating you the way you want to be treated. You should instead look for someone who will treat you right, while allowing you to be your true self. It must be hard having been through your surgery, and having still been in school in a state where you were/are unsure what you wanted to go to school for. Also having friends move away is tough. I never had a lot of close IRL friends myself. I have found a lot of friends through gaming. So most of my friendships exist online. I believe that you can re-find you, it may take time, but you can definitely do it. Don't socialize too much with the peopled who drain you, if you don't have to. I'm not sure the best place to find people who don't, but if you can find a less draining way to let things out/socialize. I'm sure this could be helpful. Even if it is just sharing your feelings on here. We got your back. I don't know if I say the right things ever, but I do help you find some relief, and feel a bit better. Feel free to share more if you want/need. <3
@@HeartSupport thank you, it helped a bit to see that I’m not the only one in a similar boat. Do you have anyway that you did to help you find what your enjoyment or passion was for either studying or working towards something you enjoyed? In terms of a career
The insight you give is great, but what I appreciate the most is the pure joy on your face when you listen to an amazing song.
So i spoke the chorus of this song to my now ex when we broke up back in janurary and i havent really listened to this song since then.
I cant remember when i started to stop waiting for her and to start livong but hearing this just now brought me back there.
I love seeing my growth!
Yet now i'm starting to miss her. I havent thought about her in so long and this feeling is bittersweet. I did my mourning. I went through all of the text messages and DM's and photos trying to see whatvi did wrong but all i discovered was that i didnt do anything wrong. I didnt fumble or self sabotage. Learning that was so liberating. I had conditioned myself for so long to believe that i did.
Shoutout therapy, Neville Goddard, and Hermeticism for helping me become stronger and in tune with myself.
To anyone going through it, theres a light at the end of the tunnel. You got this!
Holy crap the song hits completely different on rewatches if you consider the "I don't want to go" as being from the memories of her, and so the chorus etc is pleading to stick around.
As soon as the song ended and you broke down the first lyrics I stopped and said "why is she yelling at me!?" 😭 I bury things for every reason you mentioned
From ThriceTheThird: Thank you for sharing. You don't have to bury everything, if you don't want to. <3
So one important line that I think was missed was “I can wait for you at the bottom, I can stay away if you want me to.” My interpretation of the song is that the subject is going through a downward spiral and the narrator is trying to hold onto the relationship but can’t.
Im taking therapy for anxiety and self-esteem for many aspects in my life and no matter how many times i watch just prettend i’m having a mental breakdown bc i had a tortuous relationship with an ex bf, where i knew he wasnt good for me and i still did it. Now this song was a whiplash to those days and i felt deeply sorry for the past me. Healing is definetily caring ❤
From Wings: I understand feeling sorry for the past you. It's best to acknowledge those feelings. Along with that, self forgiveness is essential. It sounds like you are taking the necessary steps to avoid repeating past mistakes.
Hang in there!
From Micro: It sounds like you've had a breakthrough moment that is now leading you to more compassion for yourself. How beautiful! I hope that this will be the first step towards many in supporting yourself as well as being kind to your heart. You've had your own share of pain and heartbreak, and the past you dealt with the cards, knowledge, resources that were available at the time. They survived as they could, and that is something to be proud of. You can now also look back and see how much you have grown and learned too.
Hold fast friend. And may your journey through therapy be a strong, healing one for you. :orange_heart:
Don't know if I'm pretending to be okay or faking it, but I'm honestly just trying to live my life out as best as I can with what I have.
I recently discovered Too Close to touch's "Sympathy" and the chorus there kind of changed my whole perspective on things: "Don't you dare say I'm gonna make it, cause I don't believe a word you say. There's a sickness living inside me, you can spare me all your sympathy"
I think I've just accepted my depression and the things that's caused it (don't get me wrong, it sucks, and I do really hate how it affects my energy levels and stuff). I ended up on the edge of a bridge in March and was ready to jump, but I couldn't do it, the thought of my son, my friends and my cats stopped me, and someone eventually walked past and helped me back onto the bridge. After that and hearing "Sympathy" I've sort of accepted that I will always have my sickness (in this case the depression) and I'm not gonna make it, I know it will get me some day eventually. But I'm more content with it now, content enough to make sure I at least live my life to the absolute fullest to make sure I have as little regrets as possible the day it finally gets me.
I only recently discovered this song. As always, your excitement and the purity of your enjoyment is amazing! It's not just a clinical analysis, it's a: "I love this and also here's my professional opnion". Would love you to do a reaction of Never Too Late by Three Days Grace at some point. Been recently going through some of your reactions to some of my favourite songs. Keep up the good work
So timely I just saw this as you uploaded. This whole album rocks!
I’m struggling with the faking it til you make it thing. I feel like I can’t really express anything at all anywhere unless there’s a catalyst that will enable me, which in this sense is music. The going is rough and some days I just can’t stand it because of how disrupting it gets, and feels like I’m lying to myself as I fake it til I make it. But I guess the only way is through.
Haven’t been able to listen to song in full due to a very recent event, but somehow coping thru the other songs in this album, which was a gateway band to me to discovering Sleep Token.
Also LOL @ your giggle in the beginning. Haha.
From ThriceTheThird: I struggled with the phrase fake it till you make it for a long time, until I began to understand that I think what this phrase is trying to imply is the concept of "You can't be anything that you don't believe yourself capable of being." So that by believing that you can become, and are the best at what you do. While also investing time and effort. Are the thing that mold a person into being the best. You are not faking it because it's fake. You are faking it because it's in the process of becoming true. This is just how my brain worked that phrase into something useful for me. I have no idea how it's truly meant to be interpreted.
From Micro: "Fake it 'til you make it" can be an interesting perspective, but also how challenging it is once we really put it into practice! Opening up in itself can be so very difficult and feel *unsafe*. Somehow you invite others into your private world, you expose parts of your soul that are very vulnerable - and putting it out to the open feels like a risk. The risk of being hurt, of being judged, of being misunderstood, of being invalidated... We welcome others reactions and response in the conversation, but at the same time there's not way to really know how it will go. Expressing things is surely a learning process in itself, and it may take time for many of us to feel comfortable doing it. Personally, with social anxiety especially, I've progressively realized that it's really like a muscle to train - which is how I've taken the "fake it til you make it" at my advantage over time. At some times there's going to be fails - either on my end, or on the end of the person I'm talking to -, but each time I *try* to express myself means that I am enlarging the diversity of experiences I have, and therefore creating a habit of extending my comfort zone. For a long time though it sucked and only *felt* like pure agony. The changes and progression were very subtle. But it's journey that is worth it overall, because it's about pursuing something that is right *for you*.
It's truly wonderful that you have at least this outlet of music to express yourself and resonate with your own emotional world. You have identified something powerful that can help others understand you better, but also for you to really put words - or notes - on how you feel. Sometimes words are not enough to express the complexity of what we feel inside, but creativity/art in general can really be a powerful crutch on that matter. finding a song that resonates with you, and sharing it with someone, can be a very meaningful way to still express yourself and parts of who you are.
I hope that, with time, the discomfort of expressing yourself will be overshadowed by more confidence in your voice, and in your *right* to share it. You absolutely deserve to be heard when you need it. And... for what it's worth, you succeeded at it right here in this comment! ;)
If I'm being honest, I don't really care what you are reacting to, your energy and emotion is worth the watch. The fact that you keep reacting to music I love is just a bonus. :)
EDIT: Sorry. I just noticed this is an old one, not that my opinion has changed....
I think it's time for you to revisit Bad Omens. I highly recommend The Fountain and Kingdom of Cards. They're deep cuts but absolutely amazing!
Love this song. I'm not afraid to be gone. I'm not worthy
Favorite song. Favorite Channel. Makes work on a Saturday a little more tolerable.
I've never seen someone come off this song and video with a smile... Respect
The title is so clickbait-y 😅 but your comments and analysis of the lyrics was great! I want to become a therapist too (music therapist to be exact) and I love Bad Omens too, they're my favorite band! ❤🖤
My favorite bad omens song, can't wait to see them in 2 months
Yeah I always say I'm good,even if someone catches me crying,then I get mad if they keep asking,so me being sad turns into now I'm pissed off
From Mamadien: It always seems easier to say "I'm okay" instead of being honest. Being honest feels like such a risk. I totally feel you on this and yeah, someone keeps asking and it's easy to go from sad to mad. Thank you for speaking up.
From EvilGenius: Hey friend. First of all, I 100% do understand how you're feeling. I do also know that sometimes it's tough to be open about your emotions. When others insist it can be annoying. Sometimes we just need our own space. Your emotions should be expressed in your own time
From Micro: Yea, it's annoying - if not purely distressing - when someone asks how you're doing and really insists on having an accurate answer. From an external perspective, I would imagine that it usually comes from genuine care. If someone sees you crying or seemingly being sad, they can start to worry for you and wonder how they can support you. "How are you?" is usually the first step towards that kind of conversation. But how stressful that can be to be asked that, especially if you're just not in the mood for talking. Personally, if someone sees me sad and crying, I also tend to have adverse reactions. It's not comfortable to feel that vulnerable, even less to know that someone saw you in that spot. It makes sense to push others away and to just want to protect yourself when it feels all your inner barriers are gone. So many time, because I wouldn't want to be seen, I used to cry in silence even if I'd share the same room as someone else. Weird to describe, but it's definitely part of those times when you just feel a high need to protect yourself. It feels easier to get hurt when we're already hurting and vulnerable.
I hope that, with time, there can be more open conversations for you about how you feel. Just because your voice matters, as much as your inner world. It's okay if sometimes it feels impossible to wear a mask. Truth be told, the way it is *received* by others is their sole responsibility. In the end, you're not wrong for having a plurality of emotions, and you wouldn't be wrong if you ever decide to *say* how you really feel. Sometimes we're so used to the need of wearing a mask that it becomes automatic. But with people who are trustworthy, who love us as much as we love them, there is a path on which we can learn to lay down our masks when they are not necessary. Ultimately, there's a right time for everything. Wishing for you to always follow your heart on that matter, and to choose when it is appropriate to share things when *you* feel like it. Hold fast, friend.
There my favorite band right now they have a real possibility to become my favorite all time they are unbelievably talented and it’s not like just one of them is talented there all insanely talented
Love your reaction to amazing band you say you love this band didn't see any more reactions to this band songs.
Cliche I know but damn I love the love you have/show for music and mental health ❤
Ok I... Would like to share my own experience of break up which happened last year just in case someone going through hell like I did in 2023 finds this and may find a soothing story here.
First of all I totally agree with what you said in the video. As a person who felt like the clients she supports, I can tell you that eveything here is accurate trust me.
Anyway, in my own experience, I find myself feeling that I am not worthy of anything when I am single. So when I broke up with my gf, my world just crumbled.
The only thing that kept me going at first was to believe that "'Okay, she WILL come back one day, so what I have to do in the meanwhile is to work on myself, so when the time comes she won't find a desparate heart in pieces, begging for her to come back. She'll find a man who learned from this experience and came back stronger than ever".
After some time it was almost like an obsession, so I took some distance with my thoughts and started to repeat to myself that "I have to do this for me first, not her, she is like a bonus, but the objective is myself". So after that, for many months I continued working on myself, doing sport, reading, learning, started piano and so on... I was still thinking about her A LOT but it wasn't like back then, now I was focused on being a better person for the world in general, a world in which she now MAY come back one day.
Regularly I found myself thinking that no matter what I can do, if she isn't there I am not worthy anyway. Dispite everything I worked for these last months, I was still struggling with my own head. But I kept going anyway.
And one day, a girl entered my life. And she made me forget instantly my ex gf. Because she saw that worth in me that I couldn't see myself.
Today, we are not together, we just met. But since someone else truly recognized me, I feel like no matter if it works out or not, I know that there are people in this world that see me as a good and loving person. So I can finally acknowledge it myself.
So what about the future ? Will my ex gf come back ? Maybe. Will I be the happiest person alive with this girl I met recently ? Maybe. I can not predict the future. All I know is that I will be fine, getting excited for whatever I am waiting for. In the meanwhile, I'll just continue to spread love as much as I can around me, because this world needs it.
Be a good heart, even when you don't feel like it. I know it's hard sometimes. Trust me I know... But it's so brave to not let the darkness consume you and your personnality. You are a sun. Give light to people around. Shine and you will attract. Just wait for it to happen. Whatever happens.
Take care of you. I'm proud of you.
please make videos about bad omens - the hell i overcame
Can you react to the new album from Polaris called - FATALISM it is a big mental health album dealing with the loss of their beloved band mate Ryan Lew who passed just recently, there’s a lot of mental help messages in almost every song of the album 10/10 recommend
Song about internal struggles
Do a reaction to “the grey” but bad omens
I’d honestly love to see this channel do some songs of my favourite band alexisonfire
Bro I wish you could be my therapist, I feel like you’d get me bc you like metal! Therapy has never really worked for me 🤷♀️ music is my therapy
This song in video makes me literally cry in grief so much for some reason because I overthink In it resonates with my life so much because I have always pushed my feelings way down because I've always been told that I need to be a man in not show weakness or be a pu$$ or dramatic I was never allowed to show emotions growing up
From Micro: Well done for crying, friend. Well done for letting these emotions out. Well done for allowing yourself to feel it all, and on top of it for expressing how this experience is for you. What you've done here, through this comment and through this grief that you are naming, is so important, so fundamental. You are a *person*, and every human being on this earth has emotions - which should never be shamed or repressed. You are allowed to feel - to be human. Life is hard enough as it is, and it is okay to give yourself the time and space you need to free yourself from these lies that you were told as you grew up.
the myth of "manning up" and not showing emotions is so hard to live with. I can relate to you to some extent as in my own family, while growing up, showing emotions was just taboo. Internally I knew I could not go to my parents to tell them when I'm not okay. If I had to cry, I would do it in my room and try to be as silent as possible - because the fear of being caught and grounded for it was huge. As a result, I have spent most of my childhood and adult life not understanding my emotions most of the time, and enduring them rather than owing them. It's awful when you grow up in a place where emotions are not told, where you are supposed to keep up appearances. It creates habits that are difficult to understand, deconstruct and reverse over time. And it is just such a lonely place to be. Feeling these things inside that are so deep, yet feeling at the same time that it is utterly wrong to feel that way. It is as if it was forbidden to even be human in the first place, which is so unfair. It's such an injustice.
My heart goes out to you as you explore your emotions and learn to experience that *feeling* is not a bad thing. That you can cry *and* be safe at the same time. That your tears are not the reflection of your character - but of your own humanity. Feelings are never something to debate or to be called wrong. It just is.
It is absolutely powerful that you've named these experiences and lies that were told to you. I feel with you the inner conflict it creates, and how much un-safety it somehow triggers within. It's like your heart leans towards a direction, but your mind has learned different ways and is opposed to it. But through your post here, you also share how much you *know* intuitively that what was told to you in the past was wrong. It is the shaming and guilt-trip put on you that was wrong. Never how you felt, never you for being you.
For what it's worth from a stranger, I'm so very proud of you for letting the tears be. You are experiencing a kind of grief that is deeply heartbreaking. At the same time, you are also moving on a path that will provide healing and restoration to your heart. It may have been in need of it for a long time, and you deserve to give yourself all the care, patience and attention you need - and always needed. Sending hugs your way, friend. <3
The worst in me by bad omens is my favorite
First I love your reaction and that you analyse the lyrics, cause this is the part which makes a song more emotional and relatable.🙏 Second is you NEED to check out the band "CITIZEN SOLDIER"❤. Because this is one of THE mental-health bands out there. Their songs hit right in the feels even when's a heavy banger or a sad ballad, cause their lyrics are 💔. Besides they always have lyric-videos, cause they want that the listener is been heard, especially in their darkest hours, so they show they're not alone. Requests by this band are: "Monster Made Of Memories"😈, "Afterlife"🙏, "Strong For Somebody Else"💪🏻, "Fever"🔥 (heavy bangers🤘🏻). And the other side with "Waiting On The Sun"☀️, "Reason To Live"🙌, "This Is Your Sign"(;)💙, "Always December"❄ and "Hand Me Down"😔. (emotional rollercoasters 🥺💔). Hope that you're well and that you give them a chance.🙏
P.S. their first few songs don't have lyric-videos. So to say "always" was wrong, I'm sorry.
Perfect
Hiii i'm from Brazil
I love your reacts
We need makes a react one band
Much , muchhhh popular from Brazil
Band : rosa de Saron
Song : Invernia
Brazilian go love your react
Thanks
🌹
My wife is divorcing me she's been having an affair for at least a month and can't stop blaming me. We are almost a week separated and I just can't come to grips with it. I want nothing more than to go back in time and fix it before it's too late. I have never felt so helpless in my life.
From DyllonKG: @travisheckaman2175 Hey there my friend. I am so so sorry to hear about the situation that you are in right now and I do not blame you at all for what you're feeling.
I could imagine feeling so betrayed and hurt, but also feeling like I could've been better. Treated them better. Spent more time or been nicer. I could imagine sleepless nights and lack of appetite. Just anguish.
Im so sorry.
I was just recently married a few months ago to my wife. Sometimes I get anxious about it. I really love her but worry that I am not enough. Or not good enough. I've always struggled with my self worth and with feeling like I deserve what I have. I sort of have it in my brain sometimes that you have to earn love and earn affection.
I went to therapy about 5 years ago to unravel a lot of that. A lot of it stems from my parents. The people that shouldve shown me unconditional love didn't really show up for me in that way. And so I assumed that nobody will.
Through my therapist I sort of unraveled that I was putting pressure on myself to earn love, instead of understanding that that isn't the way it should be.
Intrusive thoughts still come up in my marriage. But when they do, I sometimes talk to my wife. And we always have a quote for each other - "I choose you. Every day. This love is a choice."
In that, we mean that yes, we may have little crushes on other people. Or get bored sometimes. We may fight. But as long as we are both trying our hardest - we choose each other. We make the conscious choice to be here in this pact that we made.
If one of us broke that pact - then that would be another choice.
I dont know your wife. I dont know your situation. But leaving instead of talking, going to therapy or anything like that sounds like a choice that they made. I dont think that changes your worth as a person or whether or not you deserve love.
I know that what Im sharing and typing wont fix the world. Hell, it may not make you feel worlds better. I just hope that you can see that you're worth it. Your pain is real. The anguish is real. But you still have value in spite of all of that. Ok?
Thanks so much for posting here friend. Dont be afraid to reach back out and post again should you need more support, another listening ear, anything.
Hold fast.
@HeartSupport thank you for those kind words if it wasn't for my girls I would have already given up. But I can't even begin to describe what a difference you just made in my mindset today.
I'm just pretending to live life and want to be awake at this point. Just pretending to be happy. My boy is the only thing keeping me around. Not gonna kill myself but without him and going through university as an old man I am not sure what I'd have.
Comments defintely go unread. This is why I lost faith in therapy. You go, they talk, you leave. Nothing else. What a fucking scam
From Carmony2: @wallied3583 Your resilience to keep going is so very motivating. You see the good things in your life: your son and the University, and you use those things to keep going even though you're feeling empty inside. I hope you can see that and find more motivation within yourself to keep looking for the beautiful things around you that make it worth living this life for.
That "talent" of Pretending To Do Life, is a hard one to learn. I believe we can become lost behind those masks we wear for protection, when all we are trying to do is fit in and feel normal...whatever normal means. We want to be awake, but we have been faking it so long, we've forgotten what that looks like. And that can be scary.
Sometimes it's the only way I've survived for months at a time, hiding behind the Mask of Fake. It's exhausting and it feels like an imposter is in my place. Then I think maybe I was the Imposter and people like the Fake Me better. Sometimes I do as well. But she's not ME.
You'll take your mask off when you feel you're ready. And when you do, you will shine brightly.
I'm glad you found Support. Allow the music you love guide you through your troubling times my Friend.
Carmony
Most MEN don't like to show emptions as we dont wanna appear weak specially infront of other women...
@HeartSupport I pretend to be okay because I feel embarrassed about my emotions, especially for the people around me everyday. I don’t do anything about it ever. Some big part of me doesn’t want to get better and that part is much more prevalent than the side that wants help. I’m not sure how anything can ever help if I don’t want help😅
From Wings: I suspect there is no reason for you to be embarrassed about your emotions. Everyone has emotions they won't admit to. Even people who are pretty good at sharing emotions probably have a few they'd be embarrassed about sharing. So, I guess I'm trying to say is there's no need to be embarrassed about embarrassing emotions. :upside_down_face:
I think if you identify with your emotions, controlling or modifying them could feel like losing some of your identity. It's like asking yourself the question "without these emotions, who am I?"
Fear not! There's a zillion percent more to you than just your emotions. Actually, your emotions respond to your thoughts. Your thoughts come from the consciousness that exists behind the inner dialogue that we "hear."
Anyhow, relax. Thoughts and emotions drift through like clouds. However, unlike clouds, we can decide which ones to nurture and which to let go of.
From NateTriesAgain: This is actually a phenomenally self-aware admission. I'm embarrassed about my emotions - I want to get better, but there's another part in me that is warring against that, and it's winning. How do I get out of this place of being stuck? How do I get more of me to buy into the idea of getting help?
This is a beautiful awareness of what is going on inside of you. My wife says over and over and over, "The beginning of change is always awareness." The fact that you're able to name that part of you is resistant is certainly the first step towards change.
Before trying to dive headlong into seeking help though I'm curious - what is it about that part of you that is embarrassed? What is it inside of you that doesn't want to seek help?
For me - I struggle with an addiction to porn, and I remember the very first time I spoke those words out loud. I was f--king terrified. I was literally shaking in my boots when I told these two guys who were kind of mentoring me at the time that I had this secret struggle. I was embarrassed because I felt like no one would understand me, no one struggles this way, I am disgusting, I am the worst. And deeper than that, I thought it would change the way they looked at me, and ultimately, they would confirm the fears I have about myself- that I'm unlovable and that I'll be rejected.
If you're anything like me - I can definitely understand why you'd struggle to seek help. It is indeed terrifying, especially that first step. But one of the most profound things that I realized - and continue to realize over time...that just absolutely boggles my mind...is that every time I'm vulnerable - people don't think less of me, they actually respect me more. They are more drawn to me. They want to be in relationship with me because people find comfort in others who have courage.
Which, is what I see in you making this post here.
So thank you for having the courage to take this first step. Well done.
I struggle with the fake it till you make it. I act fine in front of everyone all day, and then I break down in my room at night with my music.
I also didn't realize that the embodiment thing was an actually thing. I have been taking the characteristics and dressing as Ricky Olson (one of the guitarists of Motionless In White) for a way to be happy. I've also been turning to learning how to play my guitars as well to be like him, so I don't do anything stupid when I'm really down or angry with myself or the world around me.
@HeartSupport
From eagertuna0: Thank you for sharing with us and for being here. It can be so disheartening when it feels like we need to be okay and act like everything is just fine around others while struggling with turbulent emotions inside. Sometimes, getting through a day really can be a lot, and I know it's such a struggle when all those emotions just build and build and build, and we need to let them explode at the end of the day.
With that said, it's wonderful to hear that you are building healthy coping mechanisms. Music really is a wonderful outlet for emotions and it's amazing to hear that you're learning to play guitar! That's so exciting and I hope that continues to be a positive outlet, both for emotions and to just have some time to enjoy yourself. And who knows -- maybe one day, you'll be able to play like Ricky Olson!
-Tuna
@heartsupport The end there where she's talking about stuff... I didn't come here to get judged (kidding), but a lot of that is very true & eye opening.
@HEARTSUPPORT l always pretend, it's been 13 years of pretending. It's been a long road losing Jessica and Kayliegh
@HeartSupport
I pretend to be ok, I smile and nod
When it comes to night when family / partner were/ are asleep I tear up in silence
But I’m 23 and don’t know where I’m going in life and don’t know what my purpose is or how to find it.
I always tell myself I would like to be wealthy one day and happy / kind person but right now this tunnel doesn’t seem like a tunnel anymore it seems like I’m at the bottom of the ocean walking continuously with no light in sight.
I have broken up with my partner few years ago and then got back together thinking I’d be ok again I guess I was happy or atleast she made me forget about the unhappiness I guess until (last few weeks it just felt like she didn’t respect me as her partner/as a person and treated me like a dog when she said here boy she’d expect me to come) type thing
my actual main reason
Started mainly since last couple years of school after I had open heart surgery I lost my motivation and happiness. I’m Australian so my atar was awful / not great to go straight into uni and then even that I didn’t know what I wanted to do for my future. I’m not stupid but I’m not a straight A student either
During school I wasn’t the most popular person but I had a lot of people that knew me and few “real” friends but had a lot of fake friends or acquaintances I guess. Now those few real friends moved away I still sometimes keep in touch and see them very occasionally.
I feel stuck, lost and lonely.
I wouldn’t say I hate socialising but I find it quite draining with certain people. I use to be more of a extrovert and would speak to anyone say anything wtc but I feel like I’ve lost myself and I’m more of an introvert now but I feel like it’s because I suppressed who I was because of a previous partner for so long I lost me. As well on top of everything
@heartsupport
From ThriceTheThird: @Rick-gz4ug Hey!
When I was younger, I'm kind of old now in my mid 30s, I also wanted wealth/love as my main focus' in life. I learned through, achieving the "material dream" side of success when I was with my last long term partner, that none of that was the answer for me. I was grateful for learning this lesson, but it was also a hard lesson to learn at the same time. It was when I first hit rock bottom, realizing that wealth\ an attractive partner, and having the things I need. Were not the answer to me feeling happy, and not wanting to be alive anymore.
I also had the similar situation where I was with someone for that amount of time, and I became very accustomed to the way they treated me, and the expectations that they put on me(some of which I do not think were healthy expectations). After that relationship it had me feeling a lot of insecurity when trying to weed through the things that were correct about that relationships expectations, and the things that were not correct. I am still effected by it today I think, a little bit, but it was a long time ago now, so the effects are much lessoned.
I think that the answers for me, that have really helped me grow past some of these things. Were I worked really hard on beating the co-dependency side of my personality and growing self-love to try to be more self sufficient in my emotions, and to not rely on others so heavily for the gratifications I needed. Self-gratification, through building healthy routines/outlets for some of the feelings I was experiencing. I think it will be important that you try to find the things that make YOU happy, and just YOU. Trying to build routines, a career, hobbies, around the things that make you feel this way. Regardless of who you are with, and understanding that no matter what things you find that you love. People who truly care about you will be accepting of that person. You should not try to force yourself to change for someone who is not treating you the way you want to be treated. You should instead look for someone who will treat you right, while allowing you to be your true self.
It must be hard having been through your surgery, and having still been in school in a state where you were/are unsure what you wanted to go to school for. Also having friends move away is tough. I never had a lot of close IRL friends myself. I have found a lot of friends through gaming. So most of my friendships exist online. I believe that you can re-find you, it may take time, but you can definitely do it. Don't socialize too much with the peopled who drain you, if you don't have to. I'm not sure the best place to find people who don't, but if you can find a less draining way to let things out/socialize. I'm sure this could be helpful. Even if it is just sharing your feelings on here. We got your back. I don't know if I say the right things ever, but I do help you find some relief, and feel a bit better. Feel free to share more if you want/need. <3
@@HeartSupport thank you, it helped a bit to see that I’m not the only one in a similar boat.
Do you have anyway that you did to help you find what your enjoyment or passion was for either studying or working towards something you enjoyed? In terms of a career