DOMESTIC ABUSE IN THE E.R.
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- Опубліковано 23 лют 2022
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Skits from the ER [Ep. 85].
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Man... Steve gets real sometimes. I couldn't imagine working in a field where I'd see this kind of thing so often. Tons of respect to all the nurses out there who take the time to help beyond what is being asked for by the patient
@@bruh6687 "Any man who must say, 'I am the King!' Is no true king."
@@bruh6687 surely it is bro. The only 4 second video you have in your channel is really deep. And your profile picture stolen from Mr. Beast is totally legit.
YT comment sections are hilarious 🤣
@@bruh6687 sure bruh, now go ask your mommy for another Juicebox.
It’s not beyond-in almost all states it is required for health care providers to report domestic abuse. In those states, it is actually a crime if a health care provider has reasonable suspicion of abuse and does not report.
@@andreamciver7191 he worked as an ER nurse before, dont assume stuff you dont know about honey
I remember going to the doctor and spinning a tale 43 years ago. But domestic violence shelters were just starting and I was so terrified of my husband. His friends were the cops and no help. The doctor told me after I had finally left that he knew the truth. Just couldn't do anything because I couldn't admit it. Thank you to all of the medical professionals for helping with the change. If you are being abused tell them!! I know that today you will be helped.
I'm glad you got out of that situation. You must have felt so helpless being stuck in that situation and the people who were ment to help you just protected him. I can't even imagine what I would have done in your place.😟
I'm sorry you had to go through that and I'm glad you were able to get out.
That helpless feeling wasn't because there weren't shelters. That comes with the abuser. I couldn't tell the truth either
Same except I was 15 yo. I went to the police department and asked to file a report for being raped, beaten, thrown and kicked by my boyfriend. That was in 1975. They could have cared less. Things have changed but not that much. Thanks for the tough subjects. 🤗❤️🤩
I'm so sorry this happened to you, im glad you got out, and im glad things have changed.
As someone who has experienced DV, oftentimes leaving isn't as simple as just making the choice to leave. I had no job experience, no driver's license, no financial means AT ALL to leave. Abusers alienate everyone in their victim's life until they have no one to rely on but them, so they can continue to abuse them. Leaving at the wrong time would have meant homelessness and losing my children
Yes
Also a domestic abuse survivor and it is rarely as easy as deciding to leave the relationship. The Most dangerous times for a woman in a domestic abuse situation are pregnancy and when she tries to leave, assuming she has the resources.
People don't realize just how hurtful it is to say to someone "why don't you just leave?" They don't realize that aside from the physical there's also mental and emotional abuse. If someone hasn't lived it, they don't understand.
Leaving at the wrong time would also mean you could get killed.
Congratulations for finally getting out of there
Find someone you know with a junker RV, Explain the situation, move in and just lie low for a few months.
And say what you will, I'm not going to get upset about a 500 dollar camper getting trashed a little, it is why I don't mind people staying in it.
As an old ER nurse, I could not begin to count the number of times I was in this scenario. This was well done.
Agreed.
I told the ER Dr that my boyfriend hit my knee with a baseball bat. I had to drive myself there. Nothing happened. Nobody talked to me. He wasn't arrested. Nothing. I even had a witness
I was on crutches for 6 weeks.
@@recoveringsoul755 when did yours happen? I’m not doubting you at all…but I will say the VA has been asking for at least 10 years if I’m safe at home etc. they are def trying to identify DV more at the ER and even routine Dr visits.
Hope you got help and are safe now!
@@rhondadavis1483 it was the 80's I think.
Later on, every time I went to the doctor I got some busywork paper questionnaire. I started leaving blank the ones about feeling safe. They never asked. After a few years I asked if it was ever looked at or just something to keep me busy. They claim it was looked at and input.
Finally I went to the psychology dept and ask if they had marriage counseling. No they only had individual counseling. They are really failing people
We need to educate our young people do they know what abuse looks like and feels like. Talk about what true consent is, that you don't need bruises or broken bones to be abused, how absolutely deadly being strangled is.
The courts are even further behind
@@recoveringsoul755 I'm so sorry you were let down like that time after time. I can't imagine how horrible it must've been. :( Have you managed to cope by now? Are you okay?
Step one: Become a nurse
Step two: Do an amazing job at it
Step three: Share comedic stories and tips to gain a fanbase
Step four: Use your fame for good and get real about social, violence, sexual, and other issues to spread awareness
Step five: There is no step five because Steve did everything right.
Super underrated comment💖
Agreed!
❤️
He was never a nurse, he worked in something medical but never nurse or doctor
@@lilyfox313 er tech I think
As a domestic abuse surviorvor, I can say that I wish someone would have told me this sooner. It's not a far cry to say these words could save a person's life. I know they changed mine.
I can absolutely relate. My ex was so good and getting people to believe he was a great guy that no one not even the doctors believed he was hurting me. They all thought I was doing it to myself. He was cold, calculating, and manipulative. I tried to leave several times and it always landed me in the ER. After the third time he would have one of his friends stay with me because he convinced them I would kill myself if I was left alone. I only finally escaped after he went to prison. 13 years later he and still messages threats to me and I still have nightmares that I'm back with him and trying to get away. I really hope you're doing well. ❤❤❤
@@wifeofsauron1658 Suprise. It's me. FOUND YOU.
Related a little too hard to this as well. Hardest part for me was always determining whether I made it up or if he really was abusive.
@@thomasmitchell4128 wow. That was a special kind of disgusting.
@@thomasmitchell4128 just burn in hell my friend.
It's so hard to leave an abusive relationship.
It truly is, took me 25 years
@@donnaconner1117 I'm glad you're out of it now. Do you want to talk about it?
Did you get out?
It took me 32 years 😢
@@kimberlykoch4066 but you are out. You are strong. Time to chase your dreams.
I feel for these people who go through this. My first marriage ended after 6 months due to him trying to choke me out because I refused to go to bed when he did. He thought he was a bad ass because he was a martial arts expert & he could beat me into submission. His words were" You are my wife & I can do whatever the eff I want to with you". A 12 ga pump is an amazing piece of steel that can change attitudes,and adjust life expectancy,very fast. He wasn't the bad ass he thought he was once Winchester was introduced & decided he should leave then & there. Oh he tried to apologize,cried & begged me to take him back but I was having none of it. If they hit you once they will hit you again...fact.After that I made it clear to anyone I dated if you try putting hands on me,the morgue will be your next place of residence. Folks never ever put up with abuse no matter how slight at first. It will most certainly escalate if you stay with them.
Nothing truer was ever said. Thank you for protecting yourself and standing your ground. I’m so glad you’re safe now.
I once had to tell a nurse about ten times that the numerous bruises on my legs were *really, really truly* from an unfortunate day at work, and not signs of domestic (or any other) abuse. I'm still not sure she believed me. I absolutely appreciate and understand why she kept pressing, but at the same time, I was like, "No _seriously,_ this is just what happens when you combine high winds and metal posts and human bodies."
That job sounds like a wild ride, what do you do for work?
@@statikcitten9 I was (at that time) working in traffic management - setting up cones and temporary signs for road works, detours, linesmen working, events like parades, etc. On that particular day, we had a rough combo of stuff going on - working on a winding, hilly mountain highway, so limited places to stand and set up your gear once you've hopped off the truck. And it was crazy windy - so I was balancing on rocky ground trying to wrangle this 12-foot-high metal post into a base and then put a heavy metal sign onto that, all as quickly as possible so we can get off the road and not be hit by traffic. When the wind catches those signs, they're like sails - it's like a door smacking into you. I did look like I'd been beaten. 😅 It's sad and scary to think people can look like that as the result of someone they're living with. 🙁
@@Catherinzsl That’s why doctors and nurses have to be careful because there’s a fine line with just assuming someone is being abused versus if you just bruise extremely easy or if it’s from your job like you said. It really can be a pain and if the diagnosis is wrong then they can get in trouble or it can come back to bite them.
@@Catherinzsl Somehow that sounds cool and terrifying at the same time. Glad it wasn't the other situation.
I went to the ER as a result of self-harm at 14, and the person who gave me an IV didn’t know how to handle my tiny, rolling veins. I also bruise like a peach and am super pale. I wasn’t aware at that age you can ask for someone else after a number of bad sticks, when I was sent to my next phase (adolescent psych ward) my arm was bruised from elbow to hand and I was questioned about either abuse and drug use.. neither of which were the case.
I hope you got a hug Steven after that shift. It’s not only traumatizing for them but for you as well. Seeing so much death and the bottom of humanity all day long it wears on you. I hope you are taking care of yourself while you help others. Leave some in the tank for you too.
I have a friend that is an Er/trauma nurse. I tell her love you don't forget you at the end of every phone call or text message!
empathy fatigue is real. caring takes it out of you. glad to see this comment acknowledge the costs.
Thank you for acknowledging this. I’m a social worker, with people who’ve survived (or witnessed) violent injury, but we support people in recovery, not crisis. So I’d go to the ER and comb the records to find the violent injuries fro the day before, and I witnessed a lot of things happening while I was at the computer, and I heard much more about things that happened the day/shift before and patients or family members of the deceased they want us to reach out to. ER workers are traumatized, from the doctors to the custodians, one of whom I’ve seen crying while he mopped up more blood. They are an overlooked, chronically traumatized group.
He wasnt actually in the E.R and he isnt a medical professional he just worked in a differenf place in the E.R
He's not a nurse, he's not a medical professional...
When I was in labor with my daughter, we got to the hospital and the first thing the nurses did was separate me and my husband. They told me they needed to get a urine sample and asked him to stay in the lobby area. I did give a urine sample, but it was just a ruse to get us separated so they could do an abuse screening. It scared me at first because I thought they wouldn't let us be together again. Thankfully, we are in a very loving, non-toxic, non-abusive situation, and when my husband got in the room with me the nurses were really surprised we figured out what they were doing and asked about it. Then we thanked them, because even though this wasn't necessary for our situation, those nurses are saving women and babies from abusers by doing this. It's so important. Anyone being abused needs to see and be given opportunities to escape.
What hosp. In what state? It would be nice if this was mandatory in all 50 states!
@@leslieschott754 Erlanger in downtown chattanooga, TN
Almost as soon as we got married, I got sick and ended up with trips to the ER, etc. As an RN at the time, I could see that the nurses were trying to get him out of the room and finally I told him to get out and was able to assure the nurses that there was no abuse but when I am sick he sticks to me like a burr. Soon he got the hang of disappearing when needed. Turns out I had both kidney stones and severe rheumatoid arthritis. Not fun.
@gailrodgers3079 goodness! I'm glad he listens to you and I am glad you were able to get the help you needed!
I’m glad I’m not the only one that this happened to. Not exactly the same but they did pull me aside when baby was doing some tests and my husband was sleeping. I thought he had said something stupid because hes silly does weird jokes lol but reading this makes that scenario make a lot more sense now.
That being said I actually have accidentally hurt myself and I feel like people could have asked questions and I was surprised they didn’t 😅💀💀
One of the best ones I've seen thank you Steve for bringing awareness to dm. I am a survivor of dm. And I know that fear. I was pushed down 17 steps and my arm was broken in 4 places I needed surgery. My husband came with me to the ED and they heard him say that he hopes it's broken. So when they took me to do a cat scan he was made to go to the waiting room. When I got back a nurse I know Gary came in. He sat down and told me he knew I was being abused because this was the 5th time I've the last 2 months that I'd been there for various injuries. He told me that he wanted to help me get safe. And they called the police and my husband was arrested. I kicked him out of our home and that started our divorce. I don't regret doing this, I saved my life and my baby's life I was pregnant and didn't know it at the time
Good for you. So glad you got out and saw justice. :)
I'm glad you're not just keeping it light hearted and talking about real issues nobody wants to speak about. Thank you for standing up for the real issues
These are some people who bring change to society
Thank you for making this! In 2019 my ex boyfriend tried to kill me and I ended up in the hospital after I called the cops. We truly do think it’s our fault, we think we are the problem, we think we are the crazy one who needs help, the nurses in the er I will always remember along with the domestic abuse advocates, they made me feel safe for the first time in a LONG time. I also feel so bad for them because they were around and saw me and heard me talk to detectives and I can’t imagine how hard it is on you guys to deal with the things you see and hear. they had me first in the pediatrics section because they thought I was underaged then brought me to the adult section then back to pediatrics because I was so small from losing weight that the pediatrics had the tools to fit me
The sad thing about abuse is that our stories follow the same basic storyline.
Social worker here. Please don’t feel any guilt for talking to us💜 We are trained to support you during these situations and making you feel safer is part of our job.
We as victims have been abused into financial dependence and most of us have been made to have children and this further hinders us from leaving. Childcare and a job and housing falls to a woman with no confidence and we have no idea. Abused and in a relationship before we've had a chance to live or learn. We need housing. Not shelters. Shelters are dangerous places too, we might as well stay home.
Also, we have no place to go. Some of us have children and no job. No way to feed and shelter our children. No cars. Abusers make sure that you are trapped and groomed before the real abuse begins.
@@kaybee2286 how do we get real places to stay and not shelters
You do not realize how many women NEED this type of help. Thank you Steve, you are an angel
Men get abused too.
Stop picking abusive men.
But it's most often women who get abused@@iSheree
@@curious1053 Your mom should’ve swallowed you.. 💀
@@iSheree No Duh smart one..
I was in an abusive situation fairly young, and I wish someone like Steve was around me then. If you're in an abusive situation, male or female, don't be afraid to seek out help! You owe it to yourself!
most victims don't want out. that has been my experience. they may not 'like it' per se... but they definitely have an attraction to the drama and a need to be in the situation. even when they're forcibly removed from it- they go back of their own volition. seriously.
@@melissachartres3219 this is one of the stupidest things i ever read. first of all it's rude and dismissive to the victims, and it's not even backed up by facts and studies. educate yourself on domestic violence before spitting such nonsense. trauma makes someone go back to some situations because it's the closest they can feel to "home". they need to learn true safety and until then, they will go back to violent grounds. people saying things like you just did are the reason they're afraid of getting help.
@@peachysolly7707 Not spitting... SPOUTING.
Which nonsense? Please be specific in your response- point by point.
@@melissachartres3219 wow, i wonder why victims that have been psychologically manipulated and abused to the point they don't think their live matters anymore wouldn't want to get help. i see no other option than them being attracted to the drama.
@@melissachartres3219 You are so ignorant to its not even funny. Educate yourself before you speak. Its always the uneducated who act the most confident in their stupidity
From someone who kept quiet about abuse for 20 years... speak up. All that pain and suffering i endured for 20 years (the abuse ended but the PTSD and nightmares stayed) was meaningless. No one thought less of me when I told... I didn't lose those close to me like they said I would... all that changed was I didn't feel so alone and I was able to start to heal. I'm in a healthy and happy relationship now where I feel safe and respected.
You all deserve to feel safe,happy and that your bodily autonomy is respected. So please,get help and speak up... I wish I could scream that so loud that even my younger self could hear it! I know the younger me can't but you reading this can! Please... give my pain meaning by letting it help you...
Incase you haven't heard it recently... you are worthy Of respect ,happiness and healing.
You also deserve to have your bodily autonomy and boundaries respected
So stay strong, like I know you are.
You. Are. A. Survivor.
I'm really glad you're ok, and in a healthier relationship. Thank you for your story- I hope it inspires all who need this kind of help.
I hope your ok I really just want everyone to be ok sadly that can’t happen
Thank you for sharing
I will listen to you 💗
As a person who was in an abusive relationship for 5 years, this hit hard. Often we don’t even know there is help, and even when there is, it’s scary af. He ended up kidnapping me and held me captive abusing me in different ways for a month and my family thought I just went back to him. Even when I tried to get help, I was either made to feel like a liar or guilt tripped for staying. People don’t understand the psychological manipulation and damage an abuser does to their victim…. I felt brainwashed to feel that’s all there was for me… although this was a trigger, and I’m crying, it’s such an important message to those struggling. Hidden within your comedy is a beacon of hope for someone. Blessings to you, My friend.
Thank you for sharing your story! You're right that people don't understand and they shame victims when they try to get help. This happens with sexual abuse as well. we're so proud of you for staying strong and fighting through.
I hear you - I had an actually extremely similar experience myself. Absolutely wish there were more people asking questions, making sure we were alright, checking in on us, BELIEVING us. It’s about time that the narrative is changing a little as per this video (one can hope society will change too). Hoping you are well after all of that time, and wishing you a healthier future (mind, body, and soul).
Thank you both so much 💚 this was years ago, and my life is full of blessings and abundance now days. I wish the same for your lives as well. Nothing but blessings! Just tossin happy wishes like glitter! ✨
I'm so glad that you are now having a good life
Sending you some love and hugs 💜🤗🌻🤗💜
Thank you for sharing! I hope you are better now and that you are safe and have help! A lot don't know what trauma bonding, gaslighting is, but bit by bit there is more awareness now. It's not your fault! What he did was his responsibility not yours! I hope you can heal one day!
This really hits home. Domestic violence is rampant in my area. I have multiple friends who have been in abusive relationships. My best friend just got out of one. His ex (although very small and lightweight) hit him in the head with a blunt object that gave him a blood clot and caused a stroke. He's in his early 30s.
My cousin's daughter had a very abusive bf. He beat her so badly she had a brain bleed & was in the hospital for over a week. She started drinking afterward. Unfortunately, she went back to him. Now she's dead and he's in prison. She was the at least the 2nd person he killed.
This also applies to emotional abuse. The gaslighting, victim blaming, and other manipulative BS are a big part of it. The victims are made to feel its their fault somehow. They may know intellectually its not true, but emotionally they feel worthless.
I remember the very moment my late therapist told me that I was being abused by my sibling. She was gentle at first then firm in telling me reality. I cried, just like this. Recognize the signs and realize that you are not an exception. You can be hurt by anybody. Especially those who you never thought could be the one to do it. You deserve to not be haunted by hurt. Y’all please, please stay safe. ❤️
A conversation like this saved my life once. I later had to save someone else's with it. Remember that no matter what, it's not your fault.
You got any advice for ER workers based on your experience?
We rarely ever get to find out wether what we say to people actually resonates with them, unless they have another emergency. It'd be nice to know what they said to you and how it helped you.
@@iz2333 sorry, I just saw this. My best advice is to just be gentle, and do your best to allow victims to process (hard because of time constraints, I know). Most of us are so frail, exhausted and beaten down by the time you see us that we're terrified of everything. Of you, of our abusers, but most importantly, ourselves. It sometimes takes time to process and have the shelf break on our situations. A list of resources, printed on something that easily fits in my wallet was a life saver for me. A very, very gay male nurse who'd be through it himself saw through my defenses (I'm a brick frigging wall when I need to be), and his words were simply, 'Honey, you deserve so much better'. No judgement. Just kindness.
@@iz2333 from my experience: try to separate the abuser from the victim if the abuser is also in the ER. get somewhere quite, be super gentle. victims tend to deny everything and are like walls. show compassion, that breaks through the wall. assure them, that this is not their fault and that NOTHING justifies such an act, that he is a criminal and give them support, resources, etc. maybe ask if they want an appointment with the social worker and „disguise“ it as a „follow up appointment“ or „removing stitches“ in front of the abuser. the most important thing is to get alone time with the victim. a small flyer may also help.
and maybe a compassionate emotional sentence like „you have so much love and loyalty to give, there are people that deserving of it and reciprocate it“ or „no matter how much you love someone, some people are life lessons and not life partners“ or „you deserve to feel safe and valued“, whatever fits in that moment.
@@iz2333 my abuse was never physical, but I want to highlight something that really resonated for me: victims need time away from their abuser. During an emergency I ended up staying with two lovely friends for a month. While there, my head started to clear, and without being constantly criticized or controlled I was able to start remembering I was worth something. My friends cared for me without expectations and without coercion, and while it took time, I started to see how much harm my ex had done to me
Obviously with most ER visits time is against you, but anything you can do to delay discharging them back to their abuser is time for them to catch their breath. You can't give them a month, probably, but a few minutes here or there can do a lot of good
Also possibly helpful is letting them see healthy, kind interactions between you and coworkers. Express care and compassion for others, not just the patient. They might not be able to accept that they deserve to be treated well no matter what you say. Seeing how no one puts an ice pick thru another person's knee when they don't get what they want might help them realize that the reactions of their abuser are out of proportion. My friends (a couple, who just got married!) didn't tell me what relationships should be like. I got front row seats to two people working together with love and healthy communication. It told me everything I needed to know
(I mean this in addition to what the others said. While my emotionally abusive ex impacted me in some ways shared by those experiencing physical domestic violence, I don't truly understand their experience like they do. I only hope to be helpful and 100% defer to the experience of survivors)
I'm hospital security, I had an incident like this when I first started out. Woman came in eaten up pretty badly because of her boyfriend. He had left her at home and she came in via ambulance and he went out drinking with the boys. He found out she was there and showed up drunk. Charge said he wasn't coming back. Guy flipped his shit and instantly got in my face. Long story short he took a swing (of course I didn't instigate in the slightest). It was one of the most satisfying times I've ever had to go hands on
❤️
Thank you for taking out the trash 🥰 also side note, I don’t think anyone would have been upset at all if you did instigate lol guy deserved to have his shit rocked.
Interesting... I thought only the janitors had to deal with waste removal. Either way, a satisfying job.
You’re a fucking legend my dude
Thank you for doing what I wish could be done to the ex!
Thank you for bringing awareness. I always thought i'd never be the type of woman to let myself be abused but it happened to me. I cried when i watched this because it brought back the memory of when my abusive ex husband put rat poisoning in my food to prevent me from leaving him. I was in the ER and was so sick i couldn't talk. It was that ER visit that convinced me i had to leave if i wanted to live.
😢
OMG, did you at least have him arrested?
@@brown_eyed_girl Yes. He got 5 years in prison for attempted murder. I also got 5 years retraining order. I divorced him while he was in prison and thankfully hes never gave me any more problems after he got out.
It’s not just women that suffer abuse.
@@cindyjones8284 I know that. There are many men who suffer abuse as well. Its just as terrible.
I haven't been an abuse victim, but I have close, older family members who grew up in an extremely abusive household. One of the things that stuck with me that they told me was as children that they were aware they could get out of there if they spoke up. But they were afraid of the unknown and that they may end up somewhere worse. A case of "the devil you know."
Making the choice to exit an abusive situation is tough. I'm glad there are people and organizations that are able to help and provide support to make that choice a little less scary.
As a DV survivor, this really hit home. I wish I had someone give me that talk. I remember sitting there in the ER with a broken arm and like, I was so scared and I wanted to be done so bad but I didn't have the support to leave.
I truly hope you're doing okay now. You deserve so much dear. Sending you healing energy ❤️
I hope your doing ok now
Mine threaten to put out a contract on my family if I left. He didn't want anyone raising his kids. He was all involved so I stood with him til my uncles intervene.
I quit dating cause I didn't understand why I was attracted to this kind of guy. Schizo. I really hope you are attending some type of counseling.
The first time I was in the ER for domestic abuse was a farce. I was stabbed, burned, raped, and broken boned. All the sheriff said to me was, "So basically you're saying you didn't try to get away?". The ER staff took their cues from that. Please, please do what is best for your patients, please? Thank you for making this video❣️
That's fuuuuuuuucked
I definitely feel you!!!
I was told by police "i should trust better people" :(
The way some (too many!) cops handle abuse/SA cases makes me homicidal... so many people in my family are survivors (including me...) and my mom honestly stopped reporting and would discourage people from reporting...being accused of being an escort ,told she should've been smarter or she should've had a guy with her (in a case where she did that but it was the guy she trusted who did it!!!) When I found out I wanted to scream... the nicest and kindest people I know ... all...survivors...it hurts my soul and I have to fight breaking down when I realize "they understand"... and I'm furious you had to endure that. I'm so sorry...
@@KlintKaras apparently something like 40% of police in America are also violent to their spouses, so you can see where that attitude comes from...
Thank you Steve!
Emotional abuse is just as "killing" as physical abuse.
Only problem is no one sees the bruises, to the partner and the children.
My children and I know the bruises.
I used to feel so alone but I think 2020 really helped open everyone's eyes to stuff like this because s&it got real for a lot of us. Once I started talking to people about it I swear HALF had just left a situationship or were trying to get out! Emotional and psychological abuse throughout my life is why I'm in a wheelchair.
Nobody believed my husband was mentally and emotionally abusive as he was until I left... but after I left with my son he literally started dividing things he would do to me between mutual friends we had, and they were shocked with just recieving a portion of his narcissistic mind games. They didn't think I was lying, but thought I had to be exaggerating... they felt horrible when they actually saw/heard it for themselves.
I don't think people really comprehend how true the phrase "you never know what really happens behind closed doors" is....
As a survivor of emotional abuse, I felt this to my soul. I hope you're doing better and are in a safe space.
@tamarahjanoski2713 Amen! Most ppl couldn't fathom my ex as the narcissistic jerk that he was and it was so shocking to them when I did finally leave. When he went to go wail about it on social media, however, they knew me well enough to ask wtf he'd done to make me leave.
@@stormangelus6638 that's what narcissists do best, fool everyone who will stay around them. I'm glad you got out!
That was awesome !! His awareness n training helped her realize she needed to get help.
This hit so close to home, I bawled. Hardcore bawled. It was a hospital that actually helped give me the strength to walk away.
Incase you haven't heard it recently... you are worthy Of respect ,happiness and healing.
You also deserve to have your bodily autonomy and boundaries respected
So stay strong, like I know you are.
I totally get you. I watched a few videos a lady made of her husband berating and gaslighting her and I was mentally transported back to the abuse I took from my husband 25 years ago. It stunned me and it took me quite a while before I could settle myself again.
Nobody deserves to be berated everyday about how worthless you are and how nobody else would ever want you and that all their problems are your fault. But we listen until something happens to break that cycle. Please people, listen and take help from those trying to help you.
It was similar for me. Usually I laugh at his skits but this felt too real. I went through this type of thing as a kid so it wasn’t a relationship I could just walk away from. Kids are too young to fully understand what happens to them sometimes, and not all kids know that there are options, so it’s so hard to escape as a dependent. But also CPS doesn’t help. It was rough. I am just glad to be alive today.
😢💙💙🙏🏻
The 1st time I have seen Stevio do something serious. Keep sharing. Whether you make us smile, or help someone that needs your advice. Love your stuff!
@@bruh6687 "Any man who must say, 'I am the King!' Is no true king."
He's done a small handful of these types of videos, one that comes to mind is if you come to the ER with thoughts of hurting yourself
I reported him lol
@@johnnytieszen what do you mean
@@22syrniki I reported the guy who posted negativity
Damn Steve. I got goosebumps. I'm sure you see this a lot and I'm glad you brought it out into the light. DA survivor. Spent the first ten years of my life being beaten and broken by my stepfather. Saw him lift my mom's feet off the ground as he lifted her by her throat and was punching her in the face. The real kicker? He left her when I was ten. The fear of leaving him died and it was over... until she turned around and married a man who SA me. I tried to report that and it backfired so bad. I spent years trying to pack all that in a safe place in my brain.
Angel, I am so sorry that this happened, how awful. May you be well, you may find healing and peace. Thank you for sharing 💯
Oh honey I am so so sorry this happened to you. I am sending you hugs but only if you want them as I respect your personal space.
I had an abscessed tooth in ‘21 during Covid.
The walk in clinic wanted me to quarantine for 2 weeks before I could get an appointment, as the infection was in my mouth. I went to ER rather than wait 2 weeks to get antibiotics.
The triage nurse wouldn’t allow my husband to come in with me initially and asked me a bunch of questions. One she asked was “is there any domestic violence in the household”… Without missing a beat, my sarcastic ass says “Yes, but he likes it”.
She didn’t find it very funny, but finally allowed my husband to come in with me.
She walked into the waiting room and told him he could join me… When he stood up he had a huge bruise on his arm from playing with the dogs… The nurse looked at me and gave me the dirtiest look ever.
My husband and I still laugh about it.. And we are both a bit glad of the double standard. If he had made that joke about me and I had a bruise on me, the cops would have been waiting for us before we had a chance to leave the hospital.
Thank you for taking this so seriously - I was so nervous you wouldn't (my PTSD talking). For so many of us who have dealt with this for an extended amount of time, it really is an epidemic within itself. Please keep putting out here the serious subjects so that all of us can be guided on what to do.
Amen
I felt the same way. ❤️lots of love to you
Same here. Hugs and good thoughts your way.
@@ri.b.8700 Thank you
@@raheezamajeed9664 Thank you
The worst part is that there are actual victims who are manipulated into believing they deserve whatever abuse they get, whether it be sexual, domestic, emotional, verbal, or otherwise, and people are only making it worse by victim blaming and asking what the victim was wearing when it comes to r@pe and other sex related crimes, or saying things like “oh, ___ Could NEVER do something like that, they’re so nice to you!”
My sister always felt this way as if she deserved it and that we all hated her and treated her poorly as he instilled this into her.
He murdered her after being released from prison for domestic abuse. He abused her in front of the police and was arrested and convicted without her testimony as the police saw it as it happened.
We all tried desperately to get her to leave him. He wasn't out of prison a week before he beat her and shot her in the back of the head and fled to Florida
Hes in prison for life but my sister never got to be free from him
@@Emeraldwitch30 I am so sorry for your loss, and that you were unable to save her in time.
@@Emeraldwitch30 I am sorry for your loss. I am also sorry that your sister was abused right in front of the police. I believe it though and unfortunately I am not surprised.
Our society talks as if we value wom3n, but we live in a patriarchal society so it's obvious that m3n are entitled and valued. Even in subtle ways that we don't even recognize at first.
It gets old fast when you constantly hear about another wo-man who was abducted or beaten or r8ped or had their life taken from them and often this is what someone they knew and supposedly loved them did to them.
Oh Mother's day will be coming up soon and people will try to find really nice presents for their mothers because it's true, only these individuals sacrificed their bodies to carry children and bring them into the world and raise them. But as soon as that day is over, we go back to focusing on a world where toxic masculinity is the norm.
There probably was nothing you could do to prevent what happened to her but the person who repeatedly made the decision to abuse her and ultimately end her life is the one at fault. Even the abusers who get away with it in the legal system will have to answer for what they did and how they treated people.
All of this.
I was lucky enough to meet up with friends after a long separation while still under the influence of an abusive (suspected)narcissist. After I'd caught them up on how stupid & inept I'd become one of them said very matter of factly that they'd always thought I was smart & creative. My soul latched onto this words like finding water in a desert. They eventually helped me break free... but the mental break away & rebuilding definitely happened long before physically separating myself. And I was very aware that the more I gained the strength to break away... the more danger I was is a tension escalated
@@miwawilliams1339 I’m glad you were able to get out of that relationship and move on enough to be able to talk about it.
I went through DV as well. From family and first and second husbands. It took the love of my life rescuing me from that abuse, supporting me, loving me and getting me the help I needed. It'll be 24 years this July that we've been married. I'm so, so blessed.
Take care everyone. Sending my love.
Thank you with all my heart Steve for this video. 32yrs ago I got out of an mentally and physically abusive marriage after 7 long horrible yrs (he was arrested and sent to federal prison for guns and drugs). If it wasn't for that I would of had no way out for myself and 3 kids. He was arrested several times for abuse but his mother's lawyer always got him out. His mother had even threatened to have me "disappear easily because there's abandoned mine shaft all over", we lived in Northern Nevada. Now I have ptsd anxieties (especially when I heard loud Harleys and firecrackers or gunshots) major depression and night terrors. After the past year of ptsd therapy and moving across country away from reminders I'm finally showing a little progress. I just wish I could of had a nurse like you back then. Thank you and bless you.
Thanks so much for spelling it out. “This is abuse.” A terrifying yet liberating sentence to hear.
My friend's ex-husband broke her arm. In the ER she begged the doctor not to report it (mandatory in that state). She was in the middle of escaping him and was afraid it would de-rail the process. Thankfully, the escape went off without a hitch. Kudos to the Doc for taking a risk and not reporting it.
Yeah, thats the problem unfortunately. I've a former abuse victim and unfortunately sometimes you tell doctors and nurses and they escalate the situation and actually put you in more danger because they don't listen. The number of times doctors chose to go straight to my abuser or the cops over believing me and giving me a chance to safely choose how to get out of the situation is too many. I honestly just now rarely go to the doctor for anything and have learned to only tell them what they need to know (and I work in healthcare myself - but unfortunately our healthcare system is NOT as victim centered as it should be).
@@lolobee313
As I'm sure you're aware the laws that require suspicion of domestic abuse be reported were never made to protect victims, but as a way for the State to shrug off liability for not providing adequate avenues of not just escape from abuse but prevention. In some cases legislation is created to continue the cycle, the report being sent not making the abuser its subject but its recipient, now the victim is being reported to the abuser for attempting to seek help or escape.
I've heard chilling stories of the police driving the survivor back to their residence and placing them in the custody of their abuser, because said person merely refuted the claim of abuse. Domestic violence is essentially legal in many places as long as the one doing the violence meets a certain demographic and passes 'the vide check.'
Makes me want to play with fire again if you catch my meaning.
i think its a failure of planning to not take such things into account. if something happens that would force you to leave a few days early, then leave. adapt.
@@matthewbarabas3052you speak like someone who has no idea how dangerous it is to "just leave" or "adapt". Don't speak on something you don't understand. You're not helping.
@@tracyroweauthor so says someone who failed to just leave or adapt. i understand perfectly. you do not.
This is so accurate. A few weeks ago my neighbour appeared on our doorstep with no shoes or coat on. Her husband beat her up, took her phone and threw her out. What you said was very close to what the police said. She started blaming herself but he had already been arrested. She left him, thank God but the police were willing to arrange safe housing etc. It was heartbreaking
As a survivor and currently in a bad situation I thank you. Sometimes all we need is someone to say "I know this is happening to you" to give us courage. I'm sorry we are so frustrating... I can't imagine how so, but thank you! I appreciate your compassion
You don’t need to apologize ❤ DA is insidious and gets in your head. It’s really hard to break the trauma bonding and figure out what’s real and what’s manipulation. Just know that you are worth being protected and you are valuable just the way you are ❤
Steve, I am so glad you are bringing this to awareness. My daughter is a domestic abuse survivor. She has to have her leg operated on - rebroken and set correctly after her ex broke it when he beat her with an axe. Sh has been stabbed, multiple broken bones, bruises, and cuts. I wish the ER staff had pressed more and not accepted the four wheeler accident excuse. Please keep bringing reality checks to us!
thats not just abuse thats attenpted murder, i think u should bring him to court for that instead of domestic abuse charges as theyll probably be taken more seriously and punished more hardhly. i wish u and ur daughter safety and the best of luck!
Please say that monster is in jail!
@@downhomesunset If we could find him, he would be. He has outstanding warrants for domestic abuse.
When my kids were small, a lady at a Wendy's admired them and said how good it was to see how loved they were. Then she explained that she was an ER nurse and saw lots of children who weren't. It still breaks my heart to think about that.
No matter how many times you see it, it never stops breaking your heart. Especially when they decline the help.
These are the things we see far too often in ERs and in the field in EMS. It takes a toll. Thanks for showing the good, the bad and heartbreaking side of it, Steve
Oh, dude. You made me cry with this. I’m critical care RN and I’ve seen the aftermath of domestic abuse. The patient so very often says that the abuse is their fault and falls back to the abuser when they claim they’ll “never do it again” and they’re “so sorry, baby.” Props to you for shining a light on domestic abuse. You did a great job portraying the abused partner.
I had a very similar experience the last time I was actually admitted to a hospital. I was taken in for a wellness check for a manic episode that was caused by stress after months and months of being gaslit and emotionally/mentally abused by my ex and his mother. The attending took three questions to have it click that I wasn't actually a danger to myself, I just needed help realizing that I was in a really, really bad situation. Sometimes we forget that healthcare workers are trained to pick up on not just physical or biological sides to a problem, but also interpersonal and psychological ones as well.
Your story is similar to my own. I hope you are on the path toward healing and free of enduring that abuse.
@@mrsengeseth Oh yes, I was lucky enough to have family who were supportive and we found a good way to get me out of there and I'm currently as far away from that whole mess as I can physically and mentally get. Best wishes to you too.
Some do a good job. Others don't. I too ended up getting a wellness check after years of abuse. The psychatrist and the EMTs tried to convince me my husband was trying to get me committed because he loved me. The cop told me leave him.
Man, Steve’s acting is getting really good. Time to go pro.
Missed the point sparky?
I'm starting to be really impressed with Steve's acting chops. Also, this one hits really hard when you realize it's Captain IDGAF, aka Ben, that's handling this one.
"You deserve to feel safe"
Once I heard this line I bawled my eyes out! Keep making great content ❤
"safe"
Incase you haven't heard it recently... you are worthy Of respect ,happiness and healing.
You also deserve to have your bodily autonomy and boundaries respected
So stay strong, like I know you are.
It's so important for us healthcare professionals to read between the lines! So true, our patients deserve to feel safe, and we gotta try everything in our power to get them out of the situation. The saddest thing is when we come across child abuse - which is why we have strict protocols on handling it in a safe and sensitive way
Agree
@@bruh6687 "Any man who must say, 'I am the King!' Is no true king."
@@Walter-McIntyre not only does that guy feel the need to say how much “better” he is, he feels the need to *repeatedly* say it.
@@ericaschaidt8588 precisely, the penultimate symptom of Small Dick Energy Syndrome lol
Yeah, heaven forbid I actually fall on something, because "and I fell on it" is immediate red flag for "I can't come up with a good lie for this" (albeit more steriotypical for things going up the butt). I'm sure good professionals would eventually be able to sort it out, but I can be embarrassingly clumsy and have had (thankfully thus far not er-worthy) fall related injuries before from a sprained thumb to a chipped jaw...and probably a fair number of the most minor degree of concussions, to say nothing of uncountable scrapes and bruises.
Considering the scars I have are just a reminder of times I was careless or clumsy and I have _legitimately_ tripped on just flat pavement, the potential always exists for an embarrassing conversation to convince a doctor/nurse that I actually am that clumsy. 😅
(At least I got good reflexes out of the deal)
This one should be seen by every staff in every ER . ❤
Thank you for tackling this with the seriousness it deserves
Just a reminder, not all abuse leaves a visible mark. And never, ever, EVER say “why don’t you just leave?”. There are many very valid reasons someone will stay with their abuser. It’s probably the hardest position that person will ever be in. Don’t question why they choose to stay. Just be there for them.
My abuser was a manipulator. Before I even realized it, I was basically cut off from anyone else but her and her family. And yes, women can abuse, though it's usually not physical abuse. By the time I recognized it as abuse, she had basically used her health to manipulate me into a place where if I had left, I would feel guilty because she said she would just stop taking her medications.
@@Torithewanderingmawhy didn’t you just leave?
What are those reasons I want to know? Money, kids, house? Are you sure these are valid reasons?
@@curious1053 i dont care if u meant it has a joke or not thats not even funny
Yes, I'd like to know those reasons too.@@olgamorozova6222
I never thought I'd be a relationship like that. Making preparation to leave and actually being able to was the best decision I could've made.
Thank you Steve for making this deeply moving video. It touched me deeply as I am a DV survivor. I appreciate all that you and your colleagues do for women and men who are being abused. You are ministering angels. God bless each and every one of you. You each deserve a medal for the efforts you make. On behalf of all those DV survivors, I thank you! God bless you Steve and all those you love.
I like that Steve seems to actually care about what happens to people.
As both a victim of domestic abuse (my ex was quite violent, and it wasnt taken seriously because im a 6'3" man, and she was a 5'2" Peruvian/Puerto Rican woman) and a medical provider who spent enough time in the ER to eventually break down and leave for a different medical field, i can say that this video hits a bit closer to home than i like to admit.
My ex (6’3”) was abused by his first wife (5’). He was a cop, too. Their kids took her side. Just awful.
People ignore the fact that women can be abusers, too. My beloved uncle was married to an abusive woman. Because he had a black belt, he legally could not defend himself against her. He divorced her and got full custody of the kids. The monster kidnapped the kids and moved across the country and joined a cult. He finally got his kids back, but they were deeply damaged by then and don't get along with his new family.
@@sleekoduck oh man, that sucks. I am so sorry. Either parents don’t know how destructive they can be toward their kids, or they don’t care. Sounds like his ex was definitely in the “don’t care” column.
It’s stupid that some people don’t think a woman can be abusive. My grandmother was extremely abusive by way of control, alienation and attempted grooming. These days I wonder if she wasn’t raised that same way because her father sexually assaulted me as a teenager and then later in life, I realized her abuse towards my mother (her daughter) and me.
@@HeronCoyote1234 agreed
As a survivor of abuse I can say without a doubt one of the hardest things is understanding it’s NOT your fault. Now as a healthcare worker Steve did a great job enacting what it’s like to see an abuse patient and try to talk to them and have them accept the help they deserve.
Kudos to Steve. Feels like he's talking to the viewer when he's affirming her right to feel safe. This is an incredibly difficult and heartbreaking issue to deal with. Thank you for addressing it!!
Thank you for doing this video and doing it with so much compassion. People think it's easy to get out but it isn't. I survived my ordeal and I am grateful everyday for the beautiful life I have today!!
This made me cry.
Thank you for posting something so difficult to talk about.
Made me tear up too.
I love this. It’s always important when doctors know the signs of abuse.
Honestly as a nurse, this THIS, is the REALIST you have ever made!!
As someone who went through domestic violence and different types of abuse as a child this is just so beautiful and kind that you are bringing this to light thanks so much ❤
I'm not a DA survivor, but I'm an LPN/RPN student and I sobbed at this. Healthcare workers are such a vital point of contact for patients experiencing abuse and it's so important to ask these kinds of questions if you see signs/symptoms indicative of abuse and to educate them about the resources available to help them. We have a duty to provide safety for our patients both inside the hospital/clinic and out.
After working for a few months you’ll likely be like all the others who ask the required questions without even looking up from the computer screen…while in the same room as the abuser who is making sure nothing is said.
Best wishes in your career. It isn't an easy job, but someone has to do it, & caring people like you are what we need! Like you, I began as an LPN in 1991, but DV made me see that soon I would have to support my kids on my own, so I went to RN school & graduated in 1995. I'm disabled & retired now, but oh how I miss my patients! Just a tip from an old-timer who learned the hard way: take care of yourself as well as you take care of your patients!! I took care of everyone BUT myself! That's why I'm disabled & retired since my late 50's!! God bless you!
@@JH-hd3oy Don't discourage her! Some will end up as you state, sure, but my money is on Ada & folks like her! I became a nurse in 1991 & STILL have concern & compassion for others! My theory is that those you speak of probably never had any, or very much, to begin with.
Health care workers can also be those people too though . See the signs … my sis has been an RN for over 15 years . Her coworkers didn’t see it but I did … I saw her makeup covering her black eyes …. He is finally gone out of her life , hopefully for good this time
@@JH-hd3oy I'm sorry your experience with healthcare workers has been so poor. According to the law, nurses are required to recognize the signs of abuse (e.g. unexplained bruises/wounds at various stages of healing - indicating repeated injuries, esp. wounds that do not match the story given by the patient/spouse/parents), document it, *and* report it to the police, while the patient is in their care. It's not a matter of just asking questions and accepting whatever response the patient gives and giving them a pamphlet for DV resources. A nurse who ignores signs of abuse would be considered liable in a court of law, as we have a duty to report. We also try to get the patient alone to ask them if they feel safe at home and if they would like to get in touch with social services. If the spouse/partner threatens us while asking to speak to the client alone, we call security to remove them.
When the nurse asks "Do you want to press charges?" That is one of the toughest decisions to be made.
I just woke up and wasn't ready for the feels of this video. A difficult topic that was handled wonderfully. Thank you for your sensitivity and care with this video - I have no doubts that it may be just what assume other people that come across this may need. It might not make a huge change immediately, but it will help plant a seed or even help water one that may be growing that will eventually bring people to leave dangerous situations they may be in.
This was well done! This video will help so many who are caught in abusive relationships and feel powerless.
Thank you for this. 🌿
Every time I have an appointment at my clinic, I’m asked if I feel safe at home and with whom I live with. It feels tedious but in reality it probably has saved lives that they’re so diligent about patients opening up to simple questions.
Yup, it's standard now, especially for patients who need regular medical care. There's a direct link between being medically fragile and the increased likelihood of being abused, unfortunately.
@@pansprayers idk where it's standard, but certainly not where I live. For quite a few years, my answer to that question would've been 'no'. And the only reason it's not that now is because I have finally established some basic boundaries. I do still live with my abuser, but we only communicate through sticky notes. If I'd been asked if I felt safe in even one of my hundreds of appointments I had as a kid/teen, my life would be very different. Maybe I wouldn't've developed cPTSD if someone had asked me such a question.
Unpleasant day in my nursing career was when I caught a patient's S.O slapping them. Very difficult long conversations happened (and yes necessary abuse reporting calls) and it took EVERY ounce of brainpower to remain professional. These sitations are not easy and I feel for the ER staff who see it routinely
Thank you for talking about real issues we see. Have had to notify MSW to call in DFCS several times in my career. I can not believe what other people do to people.
Sometimes people stay in bad situations because they feel like they don't deserve better. I pray that we all learn that we deserve better, and that feeling safe, love, and respected should be the norm in our relationships❤️
I've been binge watching these for the last hour and I just took the hardest 180 possible from laughing my arse off to nearly crying. These are brilliant.
Me too...
Uhm
Same ❤️
Same here :D
Man, I was a mess when I first met with the domestic abuse therapist. It took me WEEKS before I stopped saying it's my fault for triggering them. The therapist considered it a huge step forward when I after a few months realized that I hated my former partner for the shit they put me through. Therapy, man.
This is the most heartfelt story i ever saw from you, and it makes me happy to know you people at the ER actually help abuse victims escape these situations, it makes me feel relieved. Ive seen some doctors refuse to help beyond treating the physical injuries in my past. Im glad at least some hospitals and doctors help these victims. My two older sisters from my late father's first marriage were abused in many ways by their biological mom and step-father. So even though i myself haven't been inabused, i have seen what it does to people, even 20 years later.
Damn, that broke my heart a little :( thank goodness for people in healthcare that notice the warning signs and thank goodness for social workers. I don’t know how they do it. Mad respect.
I thought I was invisible and without choices... thought that people believed my 'accident ' excuses... but the day I decided enough I was immediately removed from the situation and given everything I needed to make it on my own...
You got me in the feels with that look you gave 'her'
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
You have more guts and courage in your pinkie finger than I have in my entire body. Stay strong.
Bro!! You just made me cry with this one. I always wondered why my nurses and doctors always asked me if I felt safe at home whenever I came in and now I see why. Stevo you got mad crazy props from me 👍🏽🥰🥰🥰🥰
same! someone be cutting onions around here...
Was a nurse in the ICU after brain surgery who was an abusive survivor who saved my life as I lay there flat after brain surgery being accused of effing 30 people. Because as the nurse had witnessed I called my brother and sister in law to let them know I survived the surgery. She heard entire conversation. Including me reassuring my nieces and nephews I was okay. Hence speaking baby talk as they were little. None of which was true. But also, terrible time. Since I just had 5 brain surgeries at once. That nurse literally saved my life. I almost stroked out with the accusations a d being screamed at in ICU. My heart rate was 189. And BP 301/202. I almost either had a massive stroke or heart attack and died. High numbers after brain surgery is extremely dangerous. That nurse saved my life. I wish her nothing but the best in life, she was the best nurse I've ever had. Mad respect to these people. And many blessings.
Awareness for serious topics like this at it's best! Could you please do a video like this for male abuse victims aswell? We don't get enough support through social media (or anywhere else).
Thank you for addressing such a difficult subject. My ex husband put me in the er when I was pregnant. I am so thankful for the people that helped me. 🙏
I'm glad you are here and I hope with a healthy happy child!
Oh my dear Lord, I pray that you and your baby are healthy and safe ❣️💕🥺
This was so heartbreaking 💔
It's sad that there's so many people men and women who suffer from an abusive partner and worse think they deserve it because of gas lighting. I've escaped me and hope the others can escape theirs. Abuse can be more than physical. Emotional abuse is still abuse.
This is a great example of a great nurse doing his job, I remember every time I went to the ER due to DV nurse never asked me anything about abuse or reporting anything when I was afraid to talk, just left back home with pain medz.
To any victims out there, it's never your fault and abuse is never okay. 🖤
Well, been a bit since one of these made me cry. I went to the doctor for strep throat and he saw hand marks around my neck, and I made up an elaborate story about how I was playing a character who got hanged and it actually caught around my neck, and he just didn't believe me for a second. It still took me another three months to escape my relationship, but I still had all the papers he'd given me about support groups and hotlines, and it helped a lot.
This character was the right one to be there with her. He handled her the right way. ❤
As a nurse and a female I never understood why women wouldn’t just leave. I was a victim blaming fool.
I have a female family member (FFM) who was shot by her partner (I’ll call him B) in at least three different incidents over the years, never mind the overnight stays in hospital to recover from beatings. Things finally escalated to an at-work confrontation where B dragged my FFM by the hair into the parking lot, and put a shotgun in her mouth before pulling the trigger. B then got into his vehicle and shot himself in the head.
When she regained consciousness 2 days later, the first thing my family member did was write “is B dead?” When we confirmed that B died at the scene, the look of relief was a whole body transformation.
Later, after she was recovered and had enough reconstructive surgeries to be able to easily converse, we all went to therapy and she told us, “When you’re dealing with a snake, you can’t turn your back on it or you’ll lose it. You can’t live that way so you stay in a place where you can survive and know the snake’s not attacking your kids or friends.”
I realized that I was as guilty of keeping her with B as he’d been. I had assumed she stayed because she was too weak or accustomed to the abuse to leave. She stayed because it kept me and mine safe.
Please be smarter and more familiar with DA/DV resources in your area than I was. Please don’t blame or give up on the victim; FFM loved who B had the potential to be, not the monster that he was.
The stuttering and confused brain is spot on, keep talking about subjects like this. Our world now seems to deem them innapropriate. Can you do one on male domestic abuse victims? Too many men stay silent at the hands of violent women, i mean look at the Amber Heard trials.
true, I knew a guy who was divorcing his physically abusive wife and the stories and scars were horrible, yet he didn't speak to anyone else about it. He never knew there was help available, and perhaps there wasn't really much :(
@@addo2419 it’s starting to change. One, because there is more acceptance that women can be bullies (hello? High school?) Two, more people are in open homosexual relationships and there can be abuse in those too.
@@downhomesunset ah yes, true!
Yes we need to shed more light on male domestic abuse victims. I had to take a friend in who got a concussion after his girlfriend hit him with a kubton 15 times in the back of the head but he refused to tell the Dr or call the police.
The world definitely needs to shine some serious light on male domestic abuse victims... There's a reason they stay silent.
This brings back some memories. My ex husband was abusive.. I almost lost my daughter (I was maybe 4-5 months pregnant) because of SA, I wasn’t even conscious when it happened.. the nurse and doctors face told me everything I needed to know, but they did nothing. Tomorrow marks our 5 year freedom-versery. ❤️
Incase you haven't heard it recently... you are worthy Of respect ,happiness and healing.
You also deserve to have your bodily autonomy and boundaries respected
So stay strong, like I know you are.
Congrats and many more freedomversies to come
Good for you
Thank you for putting this out there to your viewers! As a family support home visitor I am glad to see things like this getting airtime!
This needs to be shared as a nationwide PSA. It’s hard and scary to leave an abusive relationship. :(
Abuse is terrible I was in an abusive marriage for 10 years. My heart breaks for these men/women that can't escape
Thanks for acknowledging men in this situation. I can’t get my dad out. He’s too beaten down.
In my abusive relationship, we were together since we were born. Our minds were literally built on the pretext that he was allowed to abuse me. I had no escape because, psychologically, I was blind to a "way out". So that, I believe, is a very interesting way of "not being able to escape" an abusive relationship.
@@juliahart8593 Totally. People who victim-blame never understand this. It’s like telling someone in depression to just be happy and find the happiness in life. It’s not so easy. It’s like a huge mental block.
Bringing back feelings of the 12 years I was abused.
The concern and care of the e.r. worker, her responses- spot on.
This hit hard. 😢. I wish everyone cared that much.
"You deserve to feel safe." Got me.
The last domestic I went to involved the wife being stabbed with scissors. All she wanted to do was refuse care.
Getting a patient to accept help can be difficult. Thank you for making this video.
If you are in this situation, please, tell someone.
I thought u stabbed her for a sec till I pressed read more
I called the police for help when my bf and landlord smashed my laptop into my face shattering the computer and cutting my lip, the day before he pushed me down some stairs. He showed the cops his fake ID claiming he lived at a different address and that I was just a crazy tenant. Cops response? Take it up civilly ma'am, and move out. I called the desk Sgt and explained he showed fake ID and it was domestic violence. I was then told to call a psychiatric hot line. As a professional ER nurse I was appalled by this response. Yes for me, but I was shocked to see how others with less skills in life would be treated. And I couldn't access any women's services in my city without that police referral.
@@joywebster2678 yes sorry to say if you ask for help you might not get it
@@Hundredacredaycare but William the original poster says to tell someone. I'm just reporting I did and got zero.
@@joywebster2678: How long ago was this? Laws have changed and cops are better trained in dealing with domestic abuse situations and victims.
I worked at a storage facility and many women got units for their things when they were leaving their abusive partners. After a few months, some of them would move back in with the abusive partner and we knew it wasn’t going to end well. Sure enough, they would end up moving their things back in with us. It was the same women over and over. My heart broke for them every time they moved their things out and went back into that situation again. The manager was a domestic abuse survivor and knew how to handle that with sensitivity.
Steven when the video starts I always expect to see comedy, since let’s be honest, I watch your channel because your humor is tops. But then sometimes one of these deep episodes will start playing. My face drops to that “oh” “dlamn” “oh shplit” expression, and without realizing I become completely engrossed in feeling either emotionally for the characters, or feeling something for myself within the crevices of my heart. I genuinely forget about everything else around me during these moments. You are a stellar actor while also giving so many the rare gift of validation, and you are shedding light on these topics in a way others can hopefully learn from and realize the importance of choosing to take the same kinds of actions as you show should be taken in these moments. Thank you for including these tough, just as important and unfortunately common, ER + life moments into your filming. Great PSA, and great work all around. Thank you!
Thanks Steve! I didn't know that for a long time. I believe more abused folks see this and realize they DESERVE to feel safe
This is somewhat how the conversation went when my friend told me she was being raped and beaten at home, it's a horrible situation and people need to know and need to be able to get help