To Vab or Not To Vab...Analyzing the Latest Trend in Social Media Dating Advice

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  • Опубліковано 7 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 633

  • @Seleste777
    @Seleste777 2 роки тому +577

    Absolutely unnecessary. Everyone has their own scent anyway. Just use unscented soaps and deodorants and your natural scent will peek through. I agree. This feels a little invasive. And I don't want to be hugging on people and shaking people's hands if they are dabbing vaginal fluids behind their ears and wrist. 🤢🤮 You've just given me a new reason to stop shaking people's hands and hugging people.

    • @WatchandLearn16
      @WatchandLearn16 2 роки тому +87

      The Covid was enough for me.

    • @cmg25
      @cmg25 2 роки тому +15

      😭😭😭

    • @ya.baldheadedmama97
      @ya.baldheadedmama97 2 роки тому

      Don’t forget dudes grab they weenies when they use the bathroom and don’t always wash their hands so you might shake hands with weenie juice 🥤

    • @Seleste777
      @Seleste777 2 роки тому +28

      @@WatchandLearn16 True. Well this is the final straw.

    • @samanthamadison7249
      @samanthamadison7249 2 роки тому +17

      This just made another reason why I don't like handshaking

  • @cosmicbeauty5682
    @cosmicbeauty5682 2 роки тому +614

    I don't think my vagina is disgusting, but I'm not wearing my vaginal fluid as perfume. This woman seems to get away with certain things that many wouldn't be able to

    • @devenalexis
      @devenalexis 2 роки тому +37

      my thoughts exactly!

    • @purplelove3666
      @purplelove3666 2 роки тому +66

      I don't take advise from her. And by that video,you shouldnt either

    • @ya.baldheadedmama97
      @ya.baldheadedmama97 2 роки тому

      It’s definitely her looks. She can say stuff like this and everybody will jump on board. Didn’t Gwyneth Paltrow have a candle that smelled like her coochie coo?

    • @opocoyo
      @opocoyo 2 роки тому

      Pretty privilege. I can see women that are less conventionally attractive being mocked mercilessly for much less.

    • @rachelboateng8839
      @rachelboateng8839 2 роки тому +8

      @@purplelove3666 LOL

  • @pestyobsrvr4278
    @pestyobsrvr4278 2 роки тому +430

    As a male who recently found out Vabbing is my initial thought is… You cannot be serious… I’m attracted to women enough, I don’t think anything extra like that needs to be done to get a man.

    • @spacebars9677
      @spacebars9677 2 роки тому +52

      i actually saw this guy complaining about his girlfriend vabbing on reddit. he didn’t like the smell at all and was pleading for her to stop but she just kept saying he’ll learn to love it. he was adamantly against it lol

    • @Sara-9865
      @Sara-9865 2 роки тому +44

      @@spacebars9677 he probably doesn’t really like her at all. That’s weird to me to be with someone if you don’t like their smell

    • @bb-od9ku
      @bb-od9ku 2 роки тому +28

      @@Sara-9865 ya that seems like a sign they don't like you

    • @learningearning8385
      @learningearning8385 2 роки тому +2

      So 3,4,5’s don’t need help?

    • @Kari_Michele
      @Kari_Michele 2 роки тому

      Word, thank you for this confirmation 💯💯💯

  • @anotherwarren7994
    @anotherwarren7994 2 роки тому +264

    Just one more reason to REMAIN 6 FEET AWAY from people you don't know and perhaps some you do know. Prayers for this generation.

    • @drakedrones
      @drakedrones 2 роки тому +20

      All kinds of epidemics of STDs 🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🥴

    • @NatashaRaisorGlam
      @NatashaRaisorGlam 2 роки тому +2

      😂

    • @orubek355
      @orubek355 2 роки тому +3

      @@drakedrones And the weird smells...

    • @artisticagi
      @artisticagi 2 роки тому +20

      Seriously it’s like a violation of my personal space without even being in my personal space

    • @glory2hisname1
      @glory2hisname1 2 роки тому +2

      This!!

  • @Knaivyisaging15
    @Knaivyisaging15 2 роки тому +431

    Steph if you made 5 videos a day I’d watch them all. You are smart, eloquent, beautiful, witty, and the list goes on. Love you girl!

  • @KAMROXX2K11
    @KAMROXX2K11 2 роки тому +60

    OMG I freaking hate when people say "you should love yourself more" or " it'll come when you love yourself". Shut tf up!

    • @beewest5704
      @beewest5704 2 роки тому +19

      The truth is many ppl who don't love themselves have or found love. Just as many ppl who love themselves have not. We just have to accept that love is organic. It is a different as ppl are different.

    • @AS-so8dh
      @AS-so8dh 2 роки тому +3

      Lol them totally disregarding people’s trauma’s and life experience.

  • @everythingshareable
    @everythingshareable 2 роки тому +45

    Lots of people that I know, met their husbands in a family setting, in a friends group, in their neighbourhood… it’s also ok to ask your family and friends to look for someone for you.

    • @mofe4960
      @mofe4960 2 роки тому +6

      Thank you, really. Thank you

    • @eve3363
      @eve3363 2 роки тому

      I met my fiance one afternoon playing pool and our first date was at church.

  • @sweetpeaj1952
    @sweetpeaj1952 2 роки тому +168

    If that works, it only allows men to want to mate/fk, not necessarily love you. And that's a little gross honestly. I don't think you have to put it anywhere. Where it is located is enough.

    • @glory2hisname1
      @glory2hisname1 2 роки тому +7

      Thank you!

    • @khrisi9410
      @khrisi9410 2 роки тому

      Some women jus wanna fk, hell you're only young once. I've been celibate for a big portion of my life but I understand even women have urges.

    • @SharonBoo0305
      @SharonBoo0305 2 роки тому +12

      Exactly. If he’s not marrying you, it doesn’t count.

    • @angieang26
      @angieang26 2 роки тому +6

      I didn't need to do that to attract my husband.

  • @kimberleymchaney6940
    @kimberleymchaney6940 2 роки тому +168

    My husband and I have been together since we were 16. I thought he was cute but one day he opened his locker with his sweaters and stuff was in and I got this big whiff of “his smell.” I don’t know how to describe it but to this day I remember being overwhelmed with this feeling towards him. We knew nothing of pheromones and didn’t wear perfume/cologne but would always tell each other how we loved how each other smelled. We always say we are so in love because of biology.
    That being said these pheromones were our general scent not our nether regions.

    • @GUITARTIME2024
      @GUITARTIME2024 2 роки тому +14

      Part of that smell comes from the fun zone. Lol.

    • @LethalLemonLime
      @LethalLemonLime 2 роки тому +4

      aka must

    • @beewest5704
      @beewest5704 2 роки тому +16

      Pheromones are also important when it comes to reproduction. You will be turned of by someone who has the same genetics as you & also someone who has same dysfunctional as you. Thus better, healthier offspring.

    • @mrod87
      @mrod87 2 роки тому +10

      😭😭😭😭😂😂😂😂😂 nether regions

    • @angieang26
      @angieang26 2 роки тому +2

      @@beewest5704 I didn't understand that. My kids are healthy and I wasn't turned off by my mate.

  • @justcallmebon2684
    @justcallmebon2684 2 роки тому +143

    Don’t men already lust after women. You don’t really have to do more.
    Love and lust are a bit different

    • @AS-so8dh
      @AS-so8dh 2 роки тому +10

      Exactly. Step 1 - are you a woman or look like one? Step 2 - step outside someone will pay you attention Step 3 - profit

    • @marie-francoiset9402
      @marie-francoiset9402 2 роки тому +1

      I guess this is from the perspective of women who think they are a 5 instead of a 10 (those exact words are said in this video. I'm not saying that). They feel they need the extra boost to receive male attention. I don't think that's true but obviously many do.

    • @beverlykelly6270
      @beverlykelly6270 2 роки тому

      @just call me bon... Men lust because it's a physical need, not because we're in love and dying to commit to some we barely know, or has " vabbing" going on.

  • @naturally_nica
    @naturally_nica 2 роки тому +53

    This is just...wow. When she said that men would soak their handkerchief in their pit sweat it just brought back a memory from grad school where ONE MAN had a room full of people holding their breath because his natural pheromones were so powerful that it could burn the skin within your nostrils. Had everyone in the room with their finger under their nose trying to block out the noxious gases.
    A woman's body is a marvelous thing and the more we break the patriarchal expectations the closer we will get to accepting and acknowledging that marvel. However, placing cervical mucus on one's person should not be the default way to empower yourself.

  • @mmikiogt54
    @mmikiogt54 2 роки тому +433

    I'm not disgusted but my question with the vabbing, let's say it works. Do you attract any man out in the wild, even the ones you don't want? Why would you want that? Like to me it's so similar to the natural hair movement when they'd say you need a powder that grows in a rainforest in the Amazon, that was extracted with the blood of Jesus for your hair to grow 😂. Everyone's looking for unicorn advice in every aspect of their lives, when the real magic in life happens for you through trial, chance, individual lived experiences and learning.

    • @katherinesavarese6009
      @katherinesavarese6009 2 роки тому +56

      Exactly my thoughts. What scent will attract the PERFECT husband for me? Not any and every random guy 🤣

    • @Kari_Michele
      @Kari_Michele 2 роки тому +7

      @@katherinesavarese6009 That’s what I was worried about too…

    • @cmg25
      @cmg25 2 роки тому

      This

    • @gabilovessinging
      @gabilovessinging 2 роки тому +10

      Whew that last sentence though! What truth!

    • @Maw906
      @Maw906 2 роки тому +14

      Not the blood of Jesus! 🤣😂🤣

  • @kjkhamil1026
    @kjkhamil1026 2 роки тому +142

    My only thing is I don’t want to hug a fellow person who has rubbed bodily fluids on themselves. Lol I don’t consent

  • @drakedrones
    @drakedrones 2 роки тому +176

    I have lived long enough to confirm that attracting a mate, does not need ANY tricks or manipulations. Even if you are female with a terrible BO, you will find the one, if you are meant to - which goes in this order: physically attractive and/or are lucky. That’s all. Ladies, these dumb tricks that coaches post, is an absolute joke 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @angieang26
      @angieang26 2 роки тому +3

      Are you saying that a woman needs to be attractive to find a mate. There are many unattractive women who have husbands.

    • @stargazer_stacey7415
      @stargazer_stacey7415 2 роки тому +28

      @@angieang26 perhaps their husbands find them attractive. “Eye of the beholder” and all that…

    • @alijade9494
      @alijade9494 2 роки тому +1

      @@angieang26 yes

    • @design401
      @design401 2 роки тому

      I wouldn't discredit what the coaches say... I've tried some of that stuff and it works...lol Not vabbing though. 🤮 A nice floral perfume works wonders too...

    • @yada4tube
      @yada4tube 2 роки тому +3

      @@angieang26 “and/or ‘lucky’” you missed that part hun

  • @sweetchocolatesecret
    @sweetchocolatesecret 2 роки тому +47

    1:40 I am TIRED of hearing this. Yeah, it's fine to be strong, independent and single. But I don't want that. I want to be loved and I want to be married!! Stop telling me it's okay to be single. I know it is but I still want a family!

    • @fantasiazplatkami
      @fantasiazplatkami 2 роки тому +2

      i agree, i feel the same , +1

    • @marie-francoiset9402
      @marie-francoiset9402 2 роки тому +8

      I hear you. However that energy isn't going to get you want you want. Don't get desperate. don't depressed. It's hard but you have to stay calm and cool.

  • @lola2837
    @lola2837 2 роки тому +40

    Your “boo-boo doo-doo garbage” comment at 18:34 kept me giggling for the extent of the video. It totally caught me off guard. Thanks for the much needed laugh. 😂

    • @EclecticGiraffe
      @EclecticGiraffe 2 роки тому +3

      I replayed that part too many times 😭 I need to start using that.

  • @JubeiKibagamiFez
    @JubeiKibagamiFez 2 роки тому +78

    Shannon did make a good point about consumerism convincing all of us that normal, natural body functions are dirty and disgusting and should be "fixed" with this product or that product. This includes makeup, hair perms, etc. all the way to plastic surgery.

    • @JubeiKibagamiFez
      @JubeiKibagamiFez 2 роки тому +6

      @DaaamnDia! It's a travesty. I wish society would mind their own business and let beauty be varietal. Beauty should be whatever we want it to be, not a singular, unreasonable standard.

    • @dinkyboss
      @dinkyboss 2 роки тому +11

      I think this is an often misunderstood talking point because while shaving, for example, was heavily advertised once hemlines rose, humans have been trying to remove body hair forever. Deodorant is marketed heavy but humans have been trying to smell better forever as well. It’s hard to tell when consumerism starts and a human desire to feel and look better ends.

    • @JubeiKibagamiFez
      @JubeiKibagamiFez 2 роки тому +3

      @@dinkyboss True, but who is it that determines "looking" and "smelling" better? That's the real question that needs to be asked.

    • @alleyinn1
      @alleyinn1 2 роки тому +5

      @@JubeiKibagamiFez In utopia perhaps. Not in real world with real men & women... especially as Steph explains- when you are a dark skinned black woman who is not 25 y/o. Perhaps others can be cavalier. We dont have the flexibility to do things to further lessen our desirability. This may be a socially unacceptable thing to say.... but its true.

    • @JubeiKibagamiFez
      @JubeiKibagamiFez 2 роки тому +2

      @@alleyinn1 I don't disagree, but, again, who is it that determines what is less or more desirable. I've found that those type of people see ugliness in themselves, therefore seeing ugliness in what I and many, many others, would consider extremely beautiful people. No one in this world has the right to judge what is and is not beautiful and then push those standards on the others.

  • @CandyCoated96
    @CandyCoated96 2 роки тому +81

    This is a nasty trend. You have to consider the other people around you. I mean they should know they are coming in contact with body fluids. I would be angry, if I hugged someone, only to later find out they do this. Like no...I actually heard about this a long time ago. They think it's like those pheromone perfumes and can attract the opposite sex. Seems like some ritualistic stuff to me. Maybe even animalistic. Like why not just wear some vanilla? They say that is most men's favorite scent on a woman. Also if I am not mistaken isn't musk perfumes mimicked or created by secretions from animals?

    • @1234pixy1
      @1234pixy1 2 роки тому +1

      Why would anyone be coming into contact with your fluids more than they already do...? You go around licking and touching strangers necks and stuff? If you use any public seating or touched a door... You've been in A LOT of contact

    • @CandyCoated96
      @CandyCoated96 2 роки тому

      @@1234pixy1Just a personal preference. Its a issue for me to be around someone who rubs there body fluids on themselves. But that's just me though.

  • @selenadesanti4920
    @selenadesanti4920 2 роки тому +212

    Soo I’ve actually done this before 😬 I know a lot of you think this is disgusting but hear me out! I work in the adult entertainment industry (a strip club) and this is a trick many of the ladies use. I’ve done experiments comparing my results when I vab vs when I don’t vab and almost every time I make more more when I vab. Would I use this to attract real love? Hell no. But to sexually attract more men (which equals more money for me) then hell yes!

    • @ya.baldheadedmama97
      @ya.baldheadedmama97 2 роки тому +12

      Hmmm 🤔 you got me wanting to try it out just for a social experiment.

    • @josss_ie8083
      @josss_ie8083 2 роки тому +42

      Doesn't this low-key sound like some form a manifesting? 🤔 It's kinda like the placebo effect.

    • @MoniqueD305
      @MoniqueD305 2 роки тому +41

      Get the bag sis

    • @SharonBoo0305
      @SharonBoo0305 2 роки тому +64

      A lot of women misinterpret sexual desirability with genuine interest. Vabbing only works in your line of work, not in day to day life.

    • @louenatnine51
      @louenatnine51 2 роки тому +12

      @Dennis Plum The only reason confirmation bias doesn’t really hold here is because we have a very tangible metric to confirm the OPs results - money lol. If she really did randomly choose nights to vab and made more money consistently on those nights, assuming no confounding factors because of the random night selection, then … yeah.

  • @cristinarivera5707
    @cristinarivera5707 2 роки тому +74

    This is so gross and unnecessary! If I gotta do all that I’ll grow old a single woman.

    • @cosmicbeauty5682
      @cosmicbeauty5682 2 роки тому +13

      Hear! Hear! 🍺🥂🥂 LMAO

    • @thtgirlgizi6233
      @thtgirlgizi6233 2 роки тому +12

      Very much disgusting and unsanitary 😐

    • @bb-od9ku
      @bb-od9ku 2 роки тому +7

      Do yall know the gross stuff that they put in perfume. You should look into it. All kinda weird animal stuff. Just saying we already put gross stuff on us and don't think about it. I'm not against using animal products or anything either but there's really weird stuff in perfume. I don't think this is a good idea though lol.

  • @cindys2995
    @cindys2995 2 роки тому +36

    This feels like when I used to watch "natural hair gurus" telling me how to do a wash and go or twist out when they have GORGEOUS, full hair while mine is thin and fine. Nope.....LOL....

    • @SpamNeggs23
      @SpamNeggs23 2 роки тому +1

      Thin hair gang-gang! 😂🤗

    • @cindys2995
      @cindys2995 2 роки тому +1

      @@SpamNeggs23 🤣🤣🤣

  • @onyinyesarah1226
    @onyinyesarah1226 2 роки тому +33

    I feel like if you have to “vab” you’re down extremely bad

  • @Kiki32131
    @Kiki32131 2 роки тому +64

    Yessss, I love your hair. I'm so glad that I was born in the 80's, growing up was less stressful. I am not into any trends, whether it be dance moves, vabbing, keto diets etc. I don't have any interest in modern nonsense lol

    • @artisticagi
      @artisticagi 2 роки тому +6

      I hated keto too until I realized I was a sugar addict and noticed that I could not go two days without eating some kind of sweet.
      In addition, regular meals esp breakfast would make me sleepy within 10 minutes of eating it. After having a keto breakfast, this sleepiness disappeared.
      A lot of new things are lame but the main ethos of keto is low carb which is beneficial.
      High carb diets have been associated with Alzheimer’s and refined sugar esp increases inflammation in the body.
      As someone with an autoimmune disease keto and no refined sugar have been helping me loads!

    • @clearbleuskya5556
      @clearbleuskya5556 2 роки тому

      Jen,
      I am in total agreement with you! I miss the simpler times, and I rebel against trends.

    • @nancykerrigan
      @nancykerrigan 2 роки тому +4

      I'm sure the 80s had trends too.

  • @mandyb5167
    @mandyb5167 2 роки тому +30

    STAHP! You don't need any of this shit. If someone is attracted to you they are. You can never force them into it.

    • @fantasiazplatkami
      @fantasiazplatkami 2 роки тому +3

      life wisdom

    • @LionessOfBeauty
      @LionessOfBeauty 2 роки тому +3

      It's real live crossing the line of witchcraft. Ppl may become witches because they're lonely and looking for a mate.

    • @mandyb5167
      @mandyb5167 2 роки тому +1

      ForChristOnly It's plain stupid, silly and weird with a side of sad.

  • @cindys2995
    @cindys2995 2 роки тому +31

    You need to know your body if you're going to do this. We don't smell the same all month - hormonal changes impact your "aroma". Pick the wrong day, get the wrong result, LOL!

  • @whitney2589
    @whitney2589 2 роки тому +146

    I’m just flabbergasted. What in the hell are we coming to as a society? Are we literally turning back into cavemen/women? This seems like some land before time 💩. People will do anything in the name of “finding a partner” and this, THISSS… If I wasn’t totally over dating before this video was the last nail in my coffin. I WISH I could un-hear this lol

    • @anissa2361
      @anissa2361 2 роки тому +12

      Right it's truly sad at this point.

    • @Maya__Mia___
      @Maya__Mia___ 2 роки тому +16

      LMAOOOOOO! Not “Land Before Time” I loved that movie 😂😂😂

    • @anissa2361
      @anissa2361 2 роки тому +5

      @@Maya__Mia___ Me too, lol 😆

    • @SexyChoclateThunder
      @SexyChoclateThunder 2 роки тому +12

      Big facts it’s getting pathetic 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @SharonBoo0305
      @SharonBoo0305 2 роки тому +9

      This society is going to hell. Vabbing is another reason why I don’t take dating advice from women seriously. Wanna date men? Listen to men.

  • @bleeploughly6311
    @bleeploughly6311 2 роки тому +30

    AHHHH a new video from you! You’re quickly becoming my favorite UA-camr, I like your videos before I watch them and I drop everything when I see you’ve uploaded, thank you for your honesty in your content ☺️☺️

  • @reconnu3126
    @reconnu3126 2 роки тому +55

    I'm sorry, but vabbing sounds unhygienic and unsanitary. Like, I would compare vabbing to rubbing one's own saliva all over their body...It's a bit repulsive. I like Shan, but I don't understand why she promoted that.

    • @drakedrones
      @drakedrones 2 роки тому +10

      Coz that Shan lady is bored and has no other solutions that she can provide. Therefore, the next elusive thing is to brainwash women with ideas that don’t work 🤣🤣🤣

    • @SharonBoo0305
      @SharonBoo0305 2 роки тому

      Shan is loony as hell, as are a lot of those polyamorous sex-positive, liberal feminist-types. I stopped following her a long time ago.

    • @nancykerrigan
      @nancykerrigan 2 роки тому +2

      That reminds me. I remember there as talk of a pastor who spat on his hand and rubbed his saliva over a parishioner for some reason??? Pretty sure in the discourse I engaged in the consensus was, (in my Cleveland voice) "Oh that's naaasty." How is this any different??

    • @DeeperThanMyThoughts
      @DeeperThanMyThoughts 2 роки тому

      Vaginal secretions and saliva are not the same things. With that being said kissing, which is an exchange of saliva could then be interpreted as repulsive by that definition as the human mouth contains far more bacteria and germs than a woman's vagina does.

  • @melijellybelly
    @melijellybelly 2 роки тому +52

    The reason why people say you should love yourself before entering a relationship is because a lot of toxic behavior comes from not loving yourself and not being secure in yourself. *****Not saying that people that don’t love themselves are toxic****

    • @sarahjane4266
      @sarahjane4266 2 роки тому +15

      Yeah I realise I have low self esteem & some deep rooted insecurities, so I’m not dating until I have worked through some of these things with therapy. I understand that these feelings will always be there but I want to gain better coping mechanisms.
      It’s not fun dating when you don’t really like yourself and I don’t feel it’s fair on the other person.

    • @melijellybelly
      @melijellybelly 2 роки тому +9

      @@sarahjane4266 not only is it not fun, but if you decide to date while not knowing your worth/ not loving yourself/not knowing what makes you happy, you will end up in a relationship that’s either abusive, toxic, or unfulfilling in the long run. Too many of us have made these mistakes and end up in these situations. I’m glad you’re doing yourself a favor.

  • @loryncrittendon3505
    @loryncrittendon3505 2 роки тому +139

    I LOVE your content AND Shan's content and would find it really interesting if you two did a collab to discuss pretty privilege in dating.

  • @gigilina1782
    @gigilina1782 2 роки тому +9

    i love both you and shan’s channels and i think the majority of her content isn’t dating advice, it’s relationship/intimacy/sex and is usually very science focused! she goes into niches and dives into interesting topics, but i can’t remember a time where she truly made a piece of content on how to acquire a partner. i feel like you’re very aligned as creators actually, and i think you would be an amazing guest on her podcast, esp if you’re open to having a discussion about your perception of dating/sex coaches. y’all are two of my favorite creators and i think your messages are far more parallel than you think!

  • @aprilneilson1163
    @aprilneilson1163 2 роки тому +5

    If a good man comes along great, I'm not stressing if one don't come. You gotta look out for your happiness. I'm not out here trying to please nobody but myself.

  • @CharisMaggieTV
    @CharisMaggieTV 2 роки тому +8

    New subbie here! Loved this video 💕
    In all fairness, I initially had the same mindset about Shan when I came across her content cuz I thought, “she’s hot, she won’t have any issues dating” BUT, I gave her content a chance and she doesn’t give cringey dating advice like gurus out there. As a matter of fact, just cuz she’s attractive, doesn’t mean she was successful in relationships, which she had used her platform to share with us. Apart from encountering narcissists and getting an STD from a long term partner, she also realized she had to work on herself and other things to set herself up for dating and attractive the best partner for her.
    Her content ranges from self work, talking about taboo topics around sex education and more… thing you’d be surprised if you gave the content a chance.
    I also don’t agree with everything she says but her overall content advocates for talking about topics that is often glossed over

  • @Daft_Sage
    @Daft_Sage 2 роки тому +8

    I agree with almost everything in this video except one thing. I think attraction is more charisma/charm than anything else. Yes, your looks matter, but you can calibrate it to be more attractive if you are charming or charismatic enough. The easiest way to see this is to go on reddit and see people who are genuinely asking for advice on their dating profiles. Some people are above average in looks, but their profiles just tells you how uncharismatic they are and hence why not many people are interested. while others are just average but have very engaging profiles (even the pictures are interesting).

  • @ad2094
    @ad2094 2 роки тому +6

    3:29 And this study showed what happens when women held hands with their siblings, friends, gym acquaintances, random stranger? Lol just thinking how it's odd the researchers would not think to see if that impact was as a result of relationships in general and not long term romantic relationship specifically.

  • @anastasiabrown3801
    @anastasiabrown3801 2 роки тому +14

    I just wanted to note that Shan is accredited and not just a self titled coach

  • @godsfavor6939
    @godsfavor6939 2 роки тому +32

    WTH!!!!! 😳 I’ll stick to store bought perfumes!!

  • @NatashaRaisorGlam
    @NatashaRaisorGlam 2 роки тому +8

    It’s a placebo affect. It’s basically a meditation that causes you to focus on people being attracted to you.

  • @Veryvery987
    @Veryvery987 2 роки тому +9

    “I did not oblige”😂 but truly, all points are 100% on point

    • @chai_lattes
      @chai_lattes 2 роки тому

      The deadpan way she said it😂😂😂

  • @Manifest-222
    @Manifest-222 2 роки тому +12

    Hey Stephanie glad to see you uploading more. Missed you.

  • @popularreject626
    @popularreject626 2 роки тому +8

    I really love that while you don't necessarily think that her advice/content is for you, you can still appreciate the labor and skill of said content. I watch a lot of your dating content even though I'm not currently dating, and I feel similarly. You produce quality content and you do so with care so I always walk away feeling like I've learned something. Thanks you for your continued labor.

  • @catalinacrisostomo6214
    @catalinacrisostomo6214 2 роки тому +40

    In Chile, when a man is mad in love with a woman, people say 'she gave him "agüita de calzón"', which means the water you have washed your panties in. This vabbing thing is not really new 😂, and it all stems from chilean agüita de calzón...

    • @badgyalxtine
      @badgyalxtine 2 роки тому +16

      Wow thank you for the cultural tidbit. Cultural sayings are always hilarious. Agüita de calzón 😁

    • @Jujulianap
      @Jujulianap 2 роки тому +19

      We have a similar saying here in Brazil. Except it goes something like brewing the guy’s coffee in the panties acting as a filter. 🤣

    • @naomicampana
      @naomicampana 2 роки тому +21

      It’s probably universal… not from Chile. Lol. Worded differently according to culture.

    • @anactivatedthroatchakra1637
      @anactivatedthroatchakra1637 2 роки тому +8

      @@naomicampana yeah I was gunna say def doesn’t originate from Chile all cultures talk about this.

    • @AnNeachDorcha
      @AnNeachDorcha 2 роки тому +7

      No, not new at all. This is such an old spell...

  • @adams8830
    @adams8830 2 роки тому +12

    Steph, you're spoiling us.

  • @prettyqueen573
    @prettyqueen573 2 роки тому +10

    This is exactly why I don't fall for the hype of these "coaches" online. I completely agree if you don't look like me or have similar lived experiences then I usually tune you out because your starting point may be miles ahead of my starting point. 😒😐

  • @AlaciaLaRobin
    @AlaciaLaRobin 2 роки тому +6

    We are down bad! I don’t have the energy any more.

  • @verablexitasap858
    @verablexitasap858 2 роки тому +1

    You ARE THE MOST sensible and REAL down-to-Earth person that has ever provided their opinion. If people have a beef with what you say, I believe they're not too smart nor are they deeper thinkers

  • @dorothymonroe
    @dorothymonroe 2 роки тому +1

    Im glad that woman talked about dating advice from attractive people. I really think some men need to hear that disclaimer also.

  • @TannyYem
    @TannyYem 2 роки тому +7

    I haven't seen you video since pretty privilege. This is right up there with it. This conversation was very interesting. For me it's a No I don't even like the feel of my own sweat. So to purposely use my punnay fluids isn't it. I agree the message is different when it's coming from a person who is a preferred phenotype. Side note I'm so damn tired of trends/challenges. Why can't everyone be themselves w/o outside influences? Such a boring world this place has become.

  • @CNJL1
    @CNJL1 2 роки тому +11

    Not surprised that content creator promoted this.
    I hate coaching advice in general. Everyone is a coach /guru/teacher. Sick of it.

  • @Century-sb3ql
    @Century-sb3ql 2 роки тому +1

    Steph i enjoy listening to you and your 'discussions', please consider turning your videos in to podcsts as well for those who wanna listen to your dialogue when running, walking or just out!

  • @Gabster1990
    @Gabster1990 2 роки тому +23

    I would say romantic love isn't a big deal but this is coming from a person who already had romantic relationships. I don't know what it feels like to never experience romantic love.

    • @tamarastuart9904
      @tamarastuart9904 2 роки тому +14

      I agree-- romantic love is absolutely amazing, but I also love being blissfully single 💚💚💚💚... My objective is to experience radical enjoyment regardless of my relationship status 🥰

    • @rosedalinevaletine6931
      @rosedalinevaletine6931 2 роки тому +7

      @@tamarastuart9904 It’s easy to radically enjoy something when you can compare it to another thing. It gives you perspective.

    • @fadedpages
      @fadedpages 2 роки тому +8

      @@tamarastuart9904 This is where I'm at. I'm open to the different paths life can take me. My future may or may not include a partner, but either way my aim is to get the maximum enjoyment out of life. I'm not waiting on anyone or anything to LIVE.

    • @tamarastuart9904
      @tamarastuart9904 2 роки тому

      @@fadedpages yesssssssss!!!!!!!!! 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 My sentiment EXACTLY🎯

  • @candyDander
    @candyDander 2 роки тому +1

    Ha! I remember when I saw that vabbing article come up in a list of articles google was trying to show me. I immediately closed it once I saw what vabbing consisted of. Hearing Shan's explanation of it was interesting, though. Great job with expressing why this concept potentially makes some women uncomfortable. The possibility of smelling wrong, or whatever still effects me and my comfort level in regards to intimacy with men. This idea is way too free spirited for me, lol.
    I loved the information Zoey shared about the effects of long romantic relationships. It's really amazing how humans function, physically and socially and how it all intertwines. So neat! I definitely felt everything you said regarding the dating advice, and the stuff people can lackadaisically say not realizing how truly varied the human experience can be when it comes to dating and finding partners.

    • @marie-francoiset9402
      @marie-francoiset9402 2 роки тому

      What you said about vabbing really hit me. I feel the majority of the comments speaking against it have an underlying ewww feeling to them. It deeply reflects what we women have been taught to think and feel about an intimate part of ourselves. Very interesting. the romantic relationship one mad me uneasy. Sounded like she was insinuating that women are emotionally unbalanced unless they are with a man, therefore need a man to live and thrive. or maybe i'm completely misunderstanding her! lol

  • @joelaundabeauty
    @joelaundabeauty 2 роки тому +41

    WHAT IN THE H!!!!! This can’t be real women really doing this mess! Ain’t no way it’s never that deep to get a man! 🥴

  • @yeseniah7373
    @yeseniah7373 2 роки тому +24

    I think people say "it's not that big of a deal" to other people who never had romantic relationships not to gaslight them, but to protect them by not making a big deal out of it. Can you imagine if the reply to : "I never had a partner/love/relationship" would be: "OMG!?! You haven't?!?! What is wrong with you?! That is the best part of being human." Isn't it better for a fellow human to answer: It's not that big of a deal! to spare your feelings which are already down?

    • @Mysteriuminiquitatis1998
      @Mysteriuminiquitatis1998 2 роки тому

      It’s a lie though and it is important. There’s no real way around that feeling tbh

  • @catchyusername3083
    @catchyusername3083 2 роки тому +6

    Coochie cologne? No ma'am. However I used to use a cologne called inner realm thats no longer on the market that claimed to have human phermones or work with them or whatever. I swear I got soooo many compliments from both men and women every single time I wore it. Men were literally entranced. I'm convinced there's something to the phermone thing.

  • @DJ_1981
    @DJ_1981 2 роки тому +1

    Ms. Stephanie, this hair. YES! You look absolutely AMAZING

  • @Moni-yn3kq
    @Moni-yn3kq 2 роки тому +1

    Okay, going to be random! Your skin is positively glowing..... just gorgeous!

  • @ItsShayyy
    @ItsShayyy 2 роки тому +8

    I’ll stick to perfumes and body mists.

  • @tishataray
    @tishataray 2 роки тому +1

    Congratulations on 70 thou Steph!

  • @misszee007
    @misszee007 2 роки тому +18

    You give off natural pheromones- especially when your on or before your menses. I’ve noticed, that I get noticed during that time more so than usual. I assume it’s pheromones and subtle engorging of the lips etc. and other sexual markers that give off that “I’m ready to mate” to the opposite sex. Would I vab, no.

  • @JM-ip1es
    @JM-ip1es 2 роки тому +33

    Yes vabbing works... but only to attract a sensual connection.... at least in my experience.
    I use to wear my perfume mixed with vabbing, and I would even put my than partner’s nose next to my private area.... But guess what?... we broke up,... because he wasn’t a good fit, and he couldn’t commit. So do I believe this technique attacks men ?, sure.... no more than wearing regular perfume and wearing a pretty dress. But as for as attracting a lasting partnership...I believe that is solely base on someone’s intentions and desire to love.

    • @ya.baldheadedmama97
      @ya.baldheadedmama97 2 роки тому +6

      Question…do you put the cooch juice on first and then apply perfume or the other way around? I’m weirdly intrigued by this process.

    • @JM-ip1es
      @JM-ip1es 2 роки тому +8

      I use to spray my perfume in my hand first and mixed some of my juices in my hand... rubbing them together... then dab it between my thighs and chest... before having intercourse with my partner 😂😂. I always eat pineapple, and drink plenty of water, so I always smelled sweet...... Oh lord,... not me telling my business 😂😂💯😩

    • @ya.baldheadedmama97
      @ya.baldheadedmama97 2 роки тому +5

      @@JM-ip1es Lol it’s okay. This is just a really interesting concept to me.

    • @angieang26
      @angieang26 2 роки тому +1

      @@JM-ip1es I will try vabbing with my husband tonight.

  • @masterofnothing2360
    @masterofnothing2360 2 роки тому +4

    It’s a hell to the no for me. TF? I feel like this intrusive to other people…

  • @Tauruses.Love.Luxury
    @Tauruses.Love.Luxury 2 роки тому +5

    I just have to say I loved your description of “BOO-BOO DOO-DOO GARBAGE” I would’ve been LMAO if it wasn’t 4am and my newborn wasn’t asleep!!! 😂🤣😂🤣
    🦋 the next thing I’ll say is my scent works on my husband it has from almost day 1 and still does & idk why!!!

  • @tambariw
    @tambariw 2 роки тому +6

    My fiance absolutely loves my natural scent. I know this because by the end of the day he comments on how good I smell and gets... excited. He never compliments my scent after I've showered :/. But yeah, I think vabbing is a wasted effort and a bit extreme. Women don't need more tricks and tips.

  • @jothisorthat
    @jothisorthat 2 роки тому +1

    Always love your take on what’s trending. This in particular is bizarre to me & just another thing we are going to put down in a few weeks. There are too many rules in dating these days.

  • @EasyA15
    @EasyA15 2 роки тому +12

    Yikes, I don't know honestly how to react to this information. On one hand I have experienced instances when exes have communicated that they like my scent and some months after breaking up state they still associate me with certain scents similar to my own. Of those most of the time was due to my Versace cologne and the other one's I take into consideration that being a Dark skinned Black guy with a lean muscular athletic build as well as having traits bearing the standard of masculine desirability in that part of South Africa made me more likely to get attention from the opposite sex so I didn't think much into it and so in that case I don't see much validity. Then there is the instance of my ex, who is my first love and they are moments when certain scents spark feelings of nastalgia in me as I am taken back to moments when we shared emotional intimacy like me helping her with her braids or the first picnic we had. This I might conclude to bring primarily due to association of emotionally intense moments with scents and creating some form of emotional trigger through scent based memory.In those cases I do see some validity in the stance but I stand firmly against people rubbing genital fluids on their bodies. Primarily because of the fact that our genitalia no matter your sex has a different pH level and secretes different hormones than other parts of your body, mix that with your sweat and other bodily excretions and that is a chemical concoction that may not be healthy for your epidermis or your nostrils at all. With considering the testimonial of that light skinned, racially ambiguous woman of a larger body I have to conclude(all these will become clear later) that her situation is merely coincidence and also other privileges playing in her favor. For example racial ambiguity is preferred in most communities, also she is quite obviously atractive, taking in to consideration that although of a larger body she seems to primarily hold her weight in areas that most men are socialized and biologically likely to prefer...ie her glutes, hips, and breast, with stark difference in waist ratio. So it is more likely that the guy saw her pick up a barbell and as they say the rest was history. This isn't to say that pheromones aren't a possibility for others but in her case I am most likely to say not.

  • @birez6625
    @birez6625 2 роки тому +4

    “In the 19th century…” you mean the century where cholera, tuberculosis and typhoid fever were rampant?

  • @purelightworld9164
    @purelightworld9164 2 роки тому +6

    I guess I'm just old fashioned but I was raised in the way of doing everything possible to make sure no one can smell my nether regions

  • @VenusianLissette
    @VenusianLissette 2 роки тому +18

    Hahahaha I’m sorry but I cackled when you read off the tiktok nicknames for this trend.
    UH….I’m grossed out, if a man did that..spread his bodily fluids on his body.. for the public…🤢dear god…..no. Full stop.
    &
    this reinforces my hatred of being touched w/o consent in any context, or being too close to other strangers in general.

  • @alyjahflakes
    @alyjahflakes 2 роки тому +1

    Hey I love your content I think that you’re so well spoken and everything you product is so thoughtful. Please consider increasing your volume on your videos!

  • @LadySilence
    @LadySilence 2 роки тому +9

    Erykah badu has been doing this before it was cool.
    But thank you! I was like shes conventially attractive (That tik tok girl) anyways so I question how much of an effect that would have had if its on someone else. I was highly suspect once you showed some visuals of her.

  • @cathyb214
    @cathyb214 2 роки тому +5

    Honestly I’d love to see your video essays on TikToks 🤷🏻‍♀️

  • @eastafrika728
    @eastafrika728 2 роки тому +1

    I'm a 44 year old black Afrikan man who is still single, I've been told many times that I am to handsome and organized to not be married. Every day I get comments and complaints of all kinds, some even think I'm cursed.

  • @Mimi-hn6iv
    @Mimi-hn6iv 2 роки тому +7

    SO, I tried it when my husband came home from deployment and let's just say, it was pretty successful 😏 but, it also may have been the fact that we hadn't been around each other in 7 months lol

    • @hellostephco84
      @hellostephco84  2 роки тому +3

      I definitely think it can be because it reminds people of a pleasurable experience. Dating app dude was a fan!

  • @sepharcallwood2422
    @sepharcallwood2422 2 роки тому +1

    In other cultures it’s not new but it’s used in another way. “Sweat rice” or cooking a “special dish”, you would give it to the intended to eat.

  • @27jthompson
    @27jthompson 2 роки тому +3

    I said you should try the faux locs you look gorgeous also try some of the ombre ones.Yes Steph slaying.

  • @beigenegress2659
    @beigenegress2659 2 роки тому +2

    I love your clean, natural makeup-look. I don’t like the heavy “T” makeup look that seems to be the trend for BW these days. You look so pretty and fresh.

    • @nancykerrigan
      @nancykerrigan 2 роки тому +1

      @Talks w/ Lee I guess when they overly highlight the forehead and nose to mark a T?

  • @PlayabyTaya
    @PlayabyTaya 2 роки тому

    🤣🤣🤣 I was not expecting that to be what vabbing means 🤣🤣🤣 bruh I am in stitches people are so wild 🤣

  • @msve3730
    @msve3730 2 роки тому +16

    I need less sex and more Love. What woman want to be constantly chased after for s*x . Ask someone who is tired of this dance 😒.

  • @eyesofwater123
    @eyesofwater123 2 роки тому +27

    In regards to vabbing: Why do people insist finding new ways to be dumb? 😐

    • @prassociates2000
      @prassociates2000 2 роки тому +6

      For-realz...wtf...I'm 54 and never of this crazy bat shit BUT the world is truly coming to be a weird oversexualized perverted nature of seeking sexual attraction

    • @drakedrones
      @drakedrones 2 роки тому +2

      “Content creators” 🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @eyesofwater123
      @eyesofwater123 2 роки тому

      @@prassociates2000 I'm convinced someone watched a nature documentary and got the wrong idea

  • @ayanomar1408
    @ayanomar1408 2 роки тому +6

    first I hate when people say that being in a commited relationship is “not that big of a deal” yes it is. we humans crave conpanionship and mutual understanding and support from a partner. I dont claim that I know ISH about relationship cause everyone is not the same. I only advise my sister to avoid the mistakes I made. yet marrige is incredible specially when both partners want whats best for the other and are in it for healthy long term. now that I got that off my chest😅. I dont believe women need to go that far to Vap in order to attract men. ofcourse scent plays a huge role in how people percieve you but instead a perfume that blends well with your natural body scent produces far more long lasting affect. personally my spouse like a touch of perfume not too much that it overwhelms. and I perfer the scent of the cleaniness for me. that feeling when you just took a bath and basically drowned yourself in good lotion😊.

  • @noemita494
    @noemita494 2 роки тому

    You have scarred me for life, Steph. FOR LIFE 😭

  • @lucyazl2483
    @lucyazl2483 2 роки тому +2

    This look looks so goood on you Step!!!!

  • @madamepaka
    @madamepaka 2 роки тому +4

    Whew! If that's what some of these women are doing to keep up in the Dating Olympics, then I gladly withdraw. Coach, take me out!

  • @payehomage6922
    @payehomage6922 2 роки тому +5

    The practice is totally redundant. Its summer time and our sweat should be enough 😅.

  • @ITNoetic
    @ITNoetic 2 роки тому +5

    I stopped the video almost immediately to look up vabbing. Ay YO! Hahaha

    • @mystuff8579
      @mystuff8579 2 роки тому +2

      😂😂😂🤮

    • @drakedrones
      @drakedrones 2 роки тому +3

      I know right!! The stench of desperation!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @AS-so8dh
      @AS-so8dh 2 роки тому +1

      I thought it was related to vaping. But chile 💀

  • @Ms.Yana83
    @Ms.Yana83 2 роки тому +6

    This isn’t something I would do. Doesn’t seem necessary to put your “secretions” behind your ear. Either a man is going to be attracted to you or not. I don’t think scent plays that heavily into it.

    • @princessm8977
      @princessm8977 2 роки тому +4

      This. Either he is or he isn't, and he knows immediately.

  • @maricrisr.
    @maricrisr. 2 роки тому +3

    Wow! I learn something new today. Thank you!

  • @anafox421
    @anafox421 2 роки тому +1

    Being pretty can literally get you anywhere and literally anything .

  • @jessicaberry87
    @jessicaberry87 2 роки тому

    You look so much like "Life with Shawnda" in this video, I just had to make sure I was on the right channel. I'm going to circle back and watch this video in a few hours.

  • @gloriinher40s
    @gloriinher40s 2 роки тому +10

    I feel like the whole concept of vabbing isn't new even if the term was just recently coined. I vaguely remember hearing about this back in like the 90s or 2000s.. either way I can see where people are going with it, however I personally wouldn't do it lol.

  • @ya.baldheadedmama97
    @ya.baldheadedmama97 2 роки тому +4

    I always wondered why guys would get right beside you when you’re sweating at the gym and there’s plenty of equipment to get on…now I know why lol 😆

  • @KiKiCarr
    @KiKiCarr 2 роки тому +4

    back in the day they also didn’t wash nor sanitize surgical tools 🤣 it’s a reason evolution exist .. we learn new things 🤣

  • @jss4424
    @jss4424 2 роки тому

    It's the first 1 minutes 29 seconds for me! Yoooo!!!! Okay now back to listening lol

  • @chustar2620
    @chustar2620 2 роки тому +1

    21:57 has me cracking up💀💀😂🤣🥴

  • @VaunTV
    @VaunTV 2 роки тому

    before i even dive in, girl - you look so damn good with locs. yes. so damn good.

  • @sparklyunicorn5431
    @sparklyunicorn5431 2 роки тому +33

    I'm sorry but Shanboody is really deceptive about her 'credentials'. She is NOT a therapist, psychologist or 'Dr.'. She should be careful with impersonating professionals who have ACTUAL education in these areas.

    • @MsLiberianLady
      @MsLiberianLady 2 роки тому +4

      Shan has never claimed to be a doctor

    • @ZZ-mh2nv
      @ZZ-mh2nv 2 роки тому +4

      Shan never claimed to be a dictor but she does have quite a few qualifications for her line of work and is constantly studing and acquiring further qualifications

    • @sparklyunicorn5431
      @sparklyunicorn5431 2 роки тому

      @@MsLiberianLady yes, she has on her insta intro, she claims she's a mix of Dr. Ruth (a therapist with credentials) and Rihanna 🙄

    • @sparklyunicorn5431
      @sparklyunicorn5431 2 роки тому +5

      @@ZZ-mh2nv you can't say you're a therapist even if you're in school to eventually become one. You are a therapist when you get that License after graduating, passing exams, AND working under supervision of a licensed therapist for YEARS..

    • @ZZ-mh2nv
      @ZZ-mh2nv 2 роки тому

      @@sparklyunicorn5431 Shan primarily talks about sex. That is the dr. Ruth reference. She is not claiming to have any medical knowledge.. Omgd. It s not rockect science.

  • @shehan7353
    @shehan7353 2 роки тому

    Love the execution of this video

  • @KiKiCarr
    @KiKiCarr 2 роки тому

    🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 omg i’m the just got in a relationship and tell you it will happen when you least expect it! 😭

  • @alexatoussaint8951
    @alexatoussaint8951 2 роки тому +2

    Side bar: I’ve just realised you resemble Life with Shawnda who does the strawberry letters on UA-cam 😍👌🏾