So You Want to Lose Weight? Binge Eating Recovery
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- Опубліковано 14 січ 2021
- SO YOU WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT? BINGE EATING RECOVERY - For many of us, the desire to lose weight runs deep. We also have some awareness that focusing on weight loss can lead to more bingeing. We are in conflict. Is it possible to recover from binge eating and lose weight, or are we supposed to let go of the desire to lose weight forever?
This is an area that hampers many people from breaking free from the cycle of binging.
My book, I Can't Stop Eating, is available on Amazon amzn.to/3a6M6Hb
Website - thebingeeatingtherapist.com/
Instagram - / the_binge_eating_thera...
"I don't know if my body will change or not, my only job is looking after my body today."
This brought tears to my eyes. I'm so sick of being in the monthly cycle of "I'm going to do better" research a new way of eating for 3 days, plan diligently, eat that way for a day or even just a few hours just to relapse.
After 40 years of eating and not understanding why I am having a whole different conversation with my therapist now. It almost feels like you went inside my head to write this book.
Today is all that matters, and I really love this way of thinking. Body acceptance, compassion for myself, and knowing that my disordered eating was a way to survive in an abusive family. With no contact, I am safe from harm, and I no longer need to cope with fear and hurt in this self-destructive way. I added new hobbies that I love to replace over-eating. Coloring, painting, swimming, walking, photography, dancing, gardening, and playing with my pets.
I know how hard fought and hard won this is. I just want to say that I really admire you and commend you for achieving this true liberation and triumph. I cried with relief and joy for you when I read your comment.
"Just because something is true for you today doesn't mean it will always be true." Ah, good nugget to remember. Thank you!
I am currently going through cycles of Binging and restricting, especially when I’ve been focused on weight loss and not seeing the scale go down or it goes up, i tend to give up or even if it would go down even slightly like a pound or two i felt like “rewarding” myself and then goes back up again. I had no idea i had binge eating disorder until i realized i had a problem. Taking a step back and looking back at my toxic patterns, i’ve implemented just being more conscious of my eating patterns and emotions. I haven’t weighed myself, I am trying to eat slower, chew my food and stay hydrated throughout the day. Understand feeling hungry vs craving something (very different) and just listening to my body and just trying to understand my emotions instead of suppressing them.
Love that quote where are you say people pleasers are always running around and checking on others needs and taking care of them and taking responsibility for them. Unfortunately, us people pleasers don’t take care of ourselves and don’t take responsibility for ourselves. That is a game changer quote! That hit right in my gut!
And that we are not irresponsible. We are too responsible just in the wrong places. Love that.
Oh wow…the people pleasing! That’s me!!! I didn’t realize that could play a role in my own eating issues.
Cannot imagine this chanel not going viral at some point. The way you articulate the inner struggle and then clearly show a way forward is immensely helpful, inspiring and reassuring. And for me, these are the aspects by which your videos stand out from the rest of the creators and content on this topic.
I've ordered your book already and look forward to more of your content! Thank you!
CuriousSomeone Ahhh, that’s very kind of you to say. I’m really pleased to hear that my content is helpful to you ❤️
The subject of taking responsibility for others, for the past, and for the future- but not for myself in the moment.....that hit hard. I didn't realize the extent of my desire to please others, or my avoidance of taking responsibility for myself in the moment. Thank you, dear one. Thank you!❤
I've had some physique goals, and I have been on a caloric restriction for close to 3 months I've got to a point where I'm sick of the tracking and weighing of food, it works for physique goals, but it's mentally exhausting, and I'm sick of restricting myself and restricting myself from the things I enjoy and want to eat. I'm leaning toward just eating more and something I enjoy versus the food I know will get me results but that I don't really want to eat. I've always done cycles of cutting fat and then wanting to eat in a surplus to gain muscle mass before rinsing and repeating, but Im not exactly a bodybuilder, and I am coming to the realization that I should focus on health and lifestyle over vanity. I still do want to work on my physique and body but I don't want to resict anymore or yoyo diet from cutting to bulking. Its just way to stressful and makes me obsess over food even more and binge even more. self..... just eat the damn food you want self ! and stop worrying about how much calories are in the food you eat ! 😡
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Yes I do because gaining is a negative for my joints and I really need long distance running to stay somewhat level mentally. The idea I could not run anymore because of injuries because I am running when overweight is like a nightmare to me.
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Hi, i just wanted to say. I've been struggling with ed for 9 years, since I was 13. Never had a binge problem, but recently in a period of couple of months it just started. I wasnt familiar with that. And i was loosing my sh*t. It frustrated me a lot, because i knew how the circle worked, but couldnt convince myself not to starve after a binge. After watching this video i spontaneously decided to stop hurting myself, focusing on the numbers. It isnt easy at all, having my whole life and brain structured for fullfilling my ed. But I think i've had enough and for the first time i really want to pick up where i've left off- before the life focused on food, numbers and measurements. I dont know if i will beat this, but i just want to focus on living, experiencing freedom. I just want to stop distracting myself from living by thinking of loosing weight. Thank you for being here, for me. Wish you the best
i hope you find freedom one day ❤ i know exactly what you mean about wanting to just live life. i feel the same way and i am still figuring out since age 12 and it’s been over 10 years. it really helps me to say to my self, “you are enough. you have always been enough”
You really make wonderful videos .
I once recovered from binge eating, but it definitely was a slow process + I wasn't so desperate to lose weight. I think that's the key . Focusing on health , just keeping patient and letting those urges pass , rather then act straight then and there .
This is easily the best, most helpful, insightful and REAL conversation I’ve ever come across on this topic. I love all of your videos (and the podcast) but this one resonated on a whole new level. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and for keeping recovery expectations realistic & manageable but still hopeful/attainable ❤️
I’m RARELY hungry during the day.
So here is what I say to myself to make myself eat. “Eat NOW, when you have ZERO hunger. To prevent yourself from overeating later, when you have ZERO CONTROL!!”
Sarah, you're amazing. Your videos are the most realistic & helpful resource I've come across. I've felt such an energy, mind shift since "binging" (pardon the pun) on all of them. Love your Podcast too. I consider you the voice of reason in this space & obviously your painful journey was delivered bc you have a real gift to help others. Thank you x
This is so valuable to me. Thank you.
This was so insightful, the whole “letting go of black and white thinking” that you encourage in your message is really helpful. I’ve started applying it not only to my eating (I follow a specific diet for my Crohn’s but being flexible and kind to myself when I can’t follow it as rigorously). I also apply this “grey thinking” recently to other aspects of my life, which helps immensely with procrastination! A lot of it stems from self compassion and kinder beliefs about myself. Anyway, thanks so much for all you do Sarah!! Natalia
N Salv 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 That’s exactly it! 😍 It doesn’t work to only change your way of thinking in one area of your life. The way we do one thing is the way we do everything ❤️
I think this is particularly hard for me because as someone with borderline personality disorder I see almost everything in black and white.
I'm having a really really hard time to stop trying to lose weight. I can think of at least three valid reasons for why I absolutely have to lose weight. I have listened to half of your audio book twice now (listened two hours in and went back and started at the beginning again) and watched this video a few times too but I'm having a hard time to let what you're saying, sink in. My desire to stop eating and lose weight runs really deep. I have to lose weight for work (I'm growing out of my uniform and can't afford a new one), I can't climb the stairs to the second floor of our home anymore, my marraige is suffering because of it... Not all reasons for wanting to lose weight are tied up in society's beauty standards and I don't know how to not want to lose weight based on practical reasons.
I know this comment is pretty old but just from one person trying to figure this stuff out to another: is the only solution to your problems to lose weight? Could you put the weight loss on the back burner and try to figure other ways to tackle the problems without putting all the pressure on the weight loss to fix them?
On the work uniform: trust me I totally understand financial stress. But buying new clothes is something that everyone has to do for many reasons throughout their lives so would it really be so bad to just budget for a new uniform? What would you do if it got ruined or lost? Or, alternately, what if you lost so much weight that your current uniform didn't fit anymore? You'd still have to buy a new uniform. I don't think losing weight is going to prevent you from having to buy new clothes in the future.
On the stairs: is there a type of movement that would feel good, enjoyable, and fun, and at the same time help strengthen the muscles in your legs, so they can support your knees up and down stairs? I'm a huge fan of yoga and there's lots of inclusive yoga instructors online, my favorite is Yoga with Kassandra. Or maybe calisthenics or weight lifting or cycling would be more your style. Or, if it's accessible, maybe working with a size-inclusive physical therapist would be a good option. I just think that would be a more proactive solution and much less mentally taxing and bad for your mental health as seeing weight loss as the only way.
On your marriage: I'm not married but people of every size can be happily married so I don't think your size is the actual problem and therefore losing weight is probably not the solution.
I agree with this. I also suffer from the desire to stop the eating and wanting to lose. I recently heard a quote from James Clear in Atomic Habits that goals interfere with habits. I feel like the last couple videos I have watched on this channel support this quote. A quick goal of weight loss will encourage unhealthy habits to get the weight loss as quick as possible. If you focus on stopping the habits that promote binge eating and focus on the habits that will make you healthier, then weight loss will come. Not as fast as a crash diet, but the crash diets weren’t working anyway. Thought I would share because this quote/thought/idea has been so revolutionary for me in next steps.
@@ksollmann4294wow thank you for wording it like that! I’ve screen shot your comment to mull it over as it resonated with me. Thanks. Best wishes to everyone watching these videos!
@@ksollmann4294to continue on with that, for me ‘focusing on habits that will make you healthier’ I believe to be keeping my kitchen space tidy, meal prep, have easy healthy snacks available, good sleep routine, make time to do exercises I enjoy instead of so much screen time.
Sarah, another thoughtful video from you, I can't thank you enough for your honesty and providing this so valuable information and making FREE! It has been nothing short of quote life-changing" for me. Thank you so much💖 .
thank u so much!!! i really love ur content. it is very helpful for me. it is realistic and approachable
Fantastic video Sarah. Love the way you covered this topic and especially what you said about not having to get rid of the desire to lose weight completely. Because I'd be lying to myself every day if I said that I could. Great content, thanks
makeupland26 Thanks for the comment! I’m very glad you liked it ❤️❤️
This video was amazing. Thank you!
I am so glad I found your channel everything you say I can relate, thank you for being there for everyone who is struggling .
I’m very glad you found me too and that my content resonates with you ❤️
Thank you SO much, yet another video from you that hits it on the head. I needed the reminder that when I focus on weight loss,my eating is chaotic and upsetting (thanks January diet triggers). But also thank you for the body acceptance comments/intuitive eating purists. My internal conflict between trying to be body positive and still in the back of my mind wanting to be 'thin' has been yet another thing to beat myself up about! Love your content and can't express how much your words help.
Gillian Sharma Ah, thanks so much for the comment Gillian. It means a lot ❤️❤️
I don't think i've found anything that has resonated with me more than what you've said in this video.
Really helpful video. The thinking about how it actually affects you and also the part about allowing yourself to accept that you may still have the desire but that it is something you have to manage was very though provoking. Thank you xx
You are very welcome. Happy to hear it provoked your thoughts ☺️
Thank you, I needed to hear this today xx
Yvonne Moore I’m glad it came along at the right time ❤️
Still really enjoying your video content and have listened to the podcast as well. Alot resonating with me. I have read a book called Fierce Self-compassion by Kristin Neff. Although the orientation of the book is for women, I found the content really useful. It is still hard for me to accept myself where I am. Meditation practices have helped.
i just discovered your content and am so grateful that you speak about relationships with food in such a candid, truthful and compassionate way 🥺 this video is especially pertinent to me right now and i look forward to learning more from you!
honey menu Hi, thank you so much for the kind words. Welcome ❤️❤️❤️
You made it possible for peace today. ❤
Very insightful but not popular enough. The world only want a simple way to lose weight no matter how many times it fails. I love your videos, very good.
Read any of his books or listen to Michael Singer on UA-cam. Teaches people how to transcend human problems. How our thoughts about our thoughts are the root of most issues.
I’ve often wondered if I’m addicted to my addictions. They are not severe but annoying enough that I get pulled into them constantly. It’s the perfectionist mindset.
9 out of ten days I eat well. Then one evening, usually bcz I’ve not eaten ENOUGH that last day or two a night binge will kick off followed by a miserable night of sleep.
Thank you so much this really helped me
Dear Sarah, here is what I do. I treat it like a job. Meaning I excersise daily for 30 or 45 minutes. No matter my mood, or if I'm tiered. Like for my job I show up and lift my weights or go swimming etc I'm 59 and post-menauposal and everything is sagging. On good days I track my calories. But doing sports every day, with no excuses, has helped me loose 10 kilos in a half year. So my goal ist not to loose weight, but to get firmer. The weightloss ist a nice side effect. Greetings from Germany ❤
This also makes me think it is just like I had to admit I have anxiety. It is probably never going away but I know it is there and I just live with it just like the desire to lose weight.
100% me. Been watching your vids an listening to your Podcasts, but this simple question. Wow!
Thank you.
Took so many insights from this… wow! Have to listen to it again. Let it sink
Glad you found it useful 🙂
I will focus on asking myself, 'Is this food choice nutritionally dense?' This video has encouraged and given me hope.
Another great video!
Excellent insights
You are helping me so much Sarah
And I am from Egypt 🇪🇬 , yes u reached Egypt
hello, i had a really hard time back when i didn't know how to deal with binge eating. i used to want to lose weight and restrict my meals or tried to follow diets which doesn't contain "bad food" like junk food and fast food in it. and it caused binging, obviously. after that, i realised that i'm mentally exhausted and decided to stop thinking about all these losing weight, eating, eating disorder stuff and I ate everything i wanted. I can say that it felt super free and relaxed without thinking abt food all the time. but while doing this, i gained 4 or 5 kilos and now i want to lose weight before school begins. i know it's not a healthy type of thinking but like, in general, i don't know how to stop stressing about schools beginning(not abt the academic stuff, abt my weight) and how to lose weight. and i don't know how to learn that. it's really hard to live with eating disorders 😔
Thanks for sharing your experience. I think we can develop the skill of managing our minds (not controlling, managing). Finding ways to tame our minds so that they do not drag us all over the place. Things like mindfulness or any practices that encourage you not to identify with your thoughts is a good place to start. I have done a video called Manage Your Mind that you might find helpful ❤️
You have no idea how every single word you've said felt like a worm hug that I really needed I've been in a recovery journey for 3 years now and I was thinking it's over and the last year I loved my weight and I was able to maintain it but recently I've gained a little bit of weight and it's like the end of the world in my mind I want to lose those pounds with healthy mindset thank you so much definitely will binge watching your videos now😂❤️
I hope you meant "warm hug"?
Not worm? ; )
@@lisasommerlad1337 😂English isn't my first language sorry not sorry
Really useful, thank you
Bonita Walker ❤️❤️❤️
Thanks!
Thank you! That’s very kind ❤️
8:50 I would so love to challenge this. Focus on weight loss how? wouldn't you agree that what approach you choose might make a difference?
So if I developed an eating disorder because I’m at a BMI of 30, should I be happy with my BMI or is there a way to safely get into a healthy weight?
iit makes me cry :')thx
This was sooooo helpful to reframe things for me. Thank you! I have been talking to my BED therapist and nutritionist about this concept but they've never really been able to answer me in a realistic way like you've done here. I'm super future-focused and always comparing my now to where I want to be and feeling disappointed. But focusing on the goals here and now, today, is really the only thing I can control, and feels way less overwhelming.
For me, on weekdays i eat normal, i find that rice make me hard to lose weight, most of the time, i choose low carbs food, and i practice IF, so that my body wont go to heavy side. These routine help to maintain my weight, on weekend, i know i will indulge with family, i eat rice, noodle, cake, dessert. But now due to long vacation, my body feel and is heavier. In progress to return to routine eating.
U know me so good
When people are talking about realising the desire to lose weight. More realistically, I think they mean to ignore or agree that it is not fair to live in lust of the desire when it does come up. Personally I agree but I also believe that it is fair to desire it. It is totally fair that we do. It is for good reason. We must give or ego that; that It is fair. But we must also let it know that we need love. And that the desire to lose weight is accepted. It will not be ignore; we understand why. Come into constant agreement to see what we can do to pay our egos desire respect in return for acceptance for our issue: befriending your ego; Not to try and kill it.
Gilberto Nino I agree. Making friends with our egos is the path to peace, not trying to destroy them
in my case when I stopped focused on weight loss it was a littlbe bit worse
What if it is not a desire to lose weight, but a mandate to? I’m struggling with managing if both BED and losing weight to manage diabetes 😢
I don’t have the answer. We know that pursuing weight loss makes binge eating worse and I don’t know a way around that.
There are health promoting behaviours that help a lot with diabetes such as increasing fiber intake and moving after meals. This account shares non diet ways to manage diabetes: instagram.com/prediabetes.nutrition?igshid=MmVlMjlkMTBhMg==
The better question is why is is not loose weight or binge.
Why can’t you understand that it’s not just a desire. It is a health requirement in many cases including mine.
I know that I need to loose it as I had been fibbed off for years due to my weight. Turns out I couldn’t feel my legs and was heading towards being paralysed because I needed neurosurgery. I would likely ah e ended up in a wheelchair without the weight
I don’t understand what black and white thinking means and how that’s present with BED