Our LGBTQ+ BABY IVF Journey Part 1 | We want kids, now what?
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- Опубліковано 2 жов 2024
- Well, the time has come and we are ready to get the process of starting a family rolling! But, since we can't conceive quite as easily as straight couples, that comes with a lot of decisions to make, a lot of money, and a lot of stress!
In this video we discuss our lesbian parenthood options, start the initial check-up process to see what is possible for us - what our preferred menthod, the reciprocal IVF/ROPA method is, and start taking a look at some donor options as well.
Lilian has surgery for an ovarian cyst and we have our first consultation with an LGBTQ+ friendly fertility clinic in Vienna, Austria.
Hope you'll learn as much as we did through these first few steps :)
Thank you for watching,
Alexis and Lilian
/ one99four
/ lilianbrilliant_
Hi friends, we know how personal it is to share this journey on social media to thousands of strangers, but we’ve made the decision to do it. Why? Because we, as a queer couple, still have so much to learn about queer parenthood, and we imagine the rest of the world does, as well - so we’ll take you on this journey so we can make these discoveries together. We’ll be posting a video with our fears about queer parenthood soon, as well as a detailed one about the method we want to do and the possibilities of it in different countries based on what we've learned so far. Hope you find it valuable, and as always, thank you for your support 💜
Proud of you two and thank you for sharing, learning a lot as well. Wishing you a safe and successful journey to parenthood 💌
From all the queer (female) couples out there, I feel that I can only relate to the two of you. You are so genuine and honest! Thank you. I wish you all the best because you would make two awesome moms!
There is a reason you cannot naturally procreate 🤡🤡
Thank you for letting us tag along
Both my partner and I work in health and we were soooo frustrated here in Australia with the amount of hoops we had to jump through in the IUI/IVF process. I am laying here with my newborn on my chest watching your video, having watched you from the very start (when I was a closet gay) and I am sending you all the very best I promise it gets better!!! ❤
Seeing Lilian so sad makes me want to hug her.
Same.
being transparent on the internet about vulnerable and personal matters can be extremely challenging in and of itself, so thank you so much for being open and sharing your own personal journeys and experiences to help others
My wife and I have done reciprocal IVF in the UK. She is currently 15 weeks pregnant 😊 we’ve definitely had some ups and downs but we were really lucky that so far our first try has stuck ❤️ Really hope your experience goes smoothly!
I hope everyone can understand and feel the importance of sharing such a personal process that only belongs to you so other couples that are willing to do it some day can understand it.
As a lesbian woman I think about this method since I remember and I am grateful to be able to learn from you.
As a long time subscriber I wish you the best of luck but from now on, remember that this is yours and you don't own us nothing that makes you uncomfortable.
Again, the best of luck for this two women who inspire queer people, I bet you are so strong together that nothing can stop you from doing it ❤
Thank you for sharing this journey of yours so openly! As a queer woman myself this is incredibly informative and it's kind of insane how little I know about all this! Wishing you a successful journey ❤
PS: I would really appreciate it if you could put a trigger warning before clips about "frustrating" medical situations in the future. I know that there are probably not many other people for whom this would be relevant, but I would be very, very thankful.
I feel you so much, Lilian! Medical system is extremely frustrating in Germany and one needs to fight an endless battle to receive some basic procedure/consultation. Get well soon! Keeping my fingers crossed for you two
Thank you guys for sharing this very personal journey! As a young adult lesbian I've crossed out the possibility of me having children, since it was tough enough to come to terms with my sexuality, but seeing couples like Allie and Sam from Canada and now you guys sharing their journey definitely helps other people like me to go out and find their own way to start a family. Wishing you guys the best!
Thank you for sharing such a sensitive topic like this with us.
I'm very excited to seeing the family you'll build
It's very hard and complicated but worthy and deserves the effort both of you will make 🥰❤️
That's so cool of you to tell about the whole journey! Very interesting and important. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!! Sending love
Very, very excited for you both!
We also have everything planned who gives birth to the first child and then maybe the second one. First shot and we ended up with identical twin boys. Since then we dont plan. We also learned that getting pregnant is not as close to exhausting as being a parent. At least for us. Good luck! I'm sure you can make it.
Get yourselves a nice pad and settled first . Babies change your life completely ,trust me it’s a really big deal . All the best of wishes too you both 💕💕
Seeing content like this makes the solace of my soul happy. In the future I can see myself going down this route with my future wife. 💜🏳️🌈👭🏻
Oh lilian, you are honestly just so cute when you got emotional about the hurdles you already had to face. I wish you both so much luck in the whole baby process! 🍀 You'll rock it and i'm sure you'll be amazing moms. ❤️ Alles liebe aus österreich. 😉😘😘😘
Thank you both for sharing such a personal subject. lilian I see your pain and emotion. I hope this journey fulfills your family wants.
Thank you for sharing! I don't know much about the topic of two woman wanting a child and what for options exist. You are very strong of sharing. Much love to you and wishes ♡
Thanks for sharing your journey. I would just advice not to show donor's profile online as you need an account to access that information and can be considered sensitive data. Good to see the different options available and how the process work (like you have voice recordings), but i would not show the voice, pic or info in itself. I actually think the terms and conditions of the website do not allow it. Please be careful with that. Wish you all the luck for this journey!
You both are brave & gracious to share your journey. We are sending you both positive energy and love.
Recommend looking into banks that have a global limit. So the donor convinced person that is born don't have unlimited amounts of donor siblings. That's a thing a lot of donor-conceived people advocate for now. Also a open donor, so they can contact them and get up to date medical info.
Good luck!
The comment you made about the Lebanese sperm donor was inappropriate and out of place.
If you want to have a white baby, go ahead, no need to be sarcastic like this.
6:38
Me & my partner are not even in a relatioship for a year yet, but I am already feeling the emotional pain when I realize that we won't be able to have biological children together if we decide to want children one day. So, I can only imagine what you are going through and how exhausting the process might be for you. I wish you all the best for your journey and I am rooting for you❤
thank you so much for sharing!! seeing this representation and what starting a family of my own one day would look like and the trials that could be expected is invaluable. been watching your videos for years and wishing you guys the best on this new journey. it may not be easy but im sure it will be worth it! cheering you guys on & sending light from nyc🫶🏽
I have been following you two for 4 years now. I love you guys and admire you so much! I am so glad to see this and all the best guys! Everything will be alright. After following Julie and Camila's(UA-camrs) journey, I am just so excited to see your kid. It must be really hard for Lilian and I want to send you an immense amount of strength. You both are so adorable and you both look perfect.
Go forward with your decision have confidence!!
Thank you for sharing this intimate and important step with us. It is greatly appreciated.
Thank you so much for sharing this process openly🥹 So excited for you both on this journey!!!
Thank you so much for sharing
Thank you for sharing your personal journey and being so open! I'm not looking to having a baby so far, but as you said, it's very important to share experience with other queers. Wish you luck and sending hugs! (actually from Austria hahaha)
Thank you so much for sharing this and for your vulnerability. My wife and I are 21 and 22 and just married so you guys are like our older sisters who are in that very next phase of life. We found you guys through your wedding videos while we were doing our own wedding planning, and we continue to look up to you guys for advice and inspiration (we also were excited to watch your guys’ videos on Amsterdam as we went to the Netherlands for our honeymoon!!) Anyways, although we’re awhile off from making decisions about having children, I’m so grateful to get some insight into what your guys’ journey is like. I’m sure your videos will at least somewhat inform the decisions we make for ourselves in the future. Thank you for filming and posting this, sending you guys so much love
You two are always so brave and intentional with your message. Thank you and I'm sending warm vibrations to you both for a successful conception. 💖
To see you guys back to back is such a sweet treat 💖
Thanks so much for sharing. My wife and I are doing reciprocal IVF in the UK, same costing as over there. All the best in navigating these first steps x
Hoping for the best for you guys! But, why not adoption? So many kids already in the world waiting for love....
Thank you so much for sharing this with us and taking us on this journey with you, and for sharing something so vulnerable and personal - I really appreciate it!
It was also super informative! As a queer woman myself from Copenhagen, I didn’t know it was possible to just travel to another country and get reciprocal IVF treatment - mind blowing.
If it’s possible, I would love to know the name of the clinic you’re using for my future IVF treatment options.
Lots of love!
best of luck in this journey 💞
Thank you for sharing 🥰
I’m sorry it isn’t easy from the very beginning. Best of luck and thank you for inspiring me in considering all the options
I am really happy for you guys❤
It's a journey, but don't give up I promise you ❤❤ me and my partner have a child 8 months and it was the best (ropa)
This brings back memories. Fertility treatment was such a stressful and demanding process. And it felt like there were so many big decisions to make. But my son is now 4 and to be honest the way in which he got here seems so unimportant now. It’s just not something that matters in day to day life. The journey was pretty grim at times, but the destination more than makes up for it. Sending you so much luck. Xx
sweethearts, i have friends who were very succesful , one couple in Spain and the other one in Turkey. Fingers crossed !
Adoption seems a good option. A baby will have a family and you guys will become parents without any exhausting factors.
wish you all goes smoothly for both of you, exciting
Best of luck. Love you both.
Thank you for sharing your journey with us -- I hope this process goes relatively smoothly for you guys ❤
I so appreciate your vulnerability! It has been so lovely watching your journey, what a roller coaster of a next chapter but i will be sending all the warmth and light 🙏🏿🩷
Fingers crossed 🤞 for you ladies I hope you’re journey goes well thank you’s for letting us follow your personal journey 🤞👩👩👦🤞🤞👩❤️👩 cheers from Queensland Australia 🇦🇺
oh, if you ever consider doing ROPA in Spain, I recommend from the botton of my heart FERTTY clinic in Barcelona (I had my little prince Máxime 14 months "conceived" by Dr Checa, awesome persona and clinician) I got pregnant first attempt and had a smooth pregnancy and birth as an old rocking mama in my late 40s:) i still can not really capture the joy and unconditional love i got from this little man snoring next to me:) good luck girls, your future family member is a lucky one! x from sitges
Sending you both love and positive baby vibes
Thanks for sharing this with us
Wow wow wow Danke fürs Teilen❤ und natürlich nur das Beste für euch zwei (Bald Drei 🎉🎉🎉) viel Kraft für diese Reise und Ohman ich kann gar nicht fassen wie lange ich euch schon folge!! War das nicht gerade erst gestern dass Alexis per Videocall ihre German Lessons bekommen hat??!!
Liebeliebeliebe
Im so sorry to hear the are so much trouble doing that method in Germany. Have you guys consider to travel and do it somewhere else maybe? I know where i live is pretty common treatment and it cost 0 money, is cover by the Govern.
Rose and Rosie from UK I followed years ~
They shared baby journey too, for your reference !
Their 1st boy growing 2nd ages and now they are preparing give birth to second kid currently 🍊
Thanx for sharing wishing you the best
Best wishes
Hi there have been with you guys since practically day 1 ❤
I hope all goes well for your both .sending you both lots of love .stay positive things will work out on the end ❤❤❤
I’m so happy for you guys on embarking on this new journey ☺️
I also wondered what you guys do as for work/career, besides UA-cam. I’m currently at a crossroad career-wise and re-visiting my options and different industries so super curious to know what you both do as have been following you for a while x
5:33 Hugs...
Thank you for sharing your experience. Good luck with everything!
I don’t mean to be harsh and I wish you guys the best, but this is kind of ridiculous. Why would you not have done this in Toronto where there are specialist clinics and all of this could’ve been done in-house and in a non-homophobic context? It’s crazy.
in Portugal it is easier, because a person with a uterus, women or a Trans man, can require what we call PMA, medically assisted creation and its legal. all the best for you !
So grateful you are being transparent, sending tones of love. ❤❤
Goodluck to both of you. Watching from California.
You are amazing for sharing this with us! Thank you. Wow that donor site is wild.
Who did you do your consultation with? Where can I find clincis like this?
Thank you for sharing your journey ❤
Bon courage
So sweet! Hope everything goes well for both of you! ❤
Thank you for sharing your journey with us
I’d say why not come to Canada where it is legal
I wish you the very best!
Sending all the good vibes!!
Handwritten love letters is my love language. 🧸 11:44
Sending love to you both, as always ❤
thank you für sharing this with us ! ich wünsche euch alles Glück der Welt
You guys are beautiful ♥♥👩❤👩 Good luck always 🥰🥰
Thx so much for Sharing. Brave and bold, a Lot of Heart. Creating new Pictures on female Representations, gay partnership Representations.
Sounds creepy
shocked…. and Germany was such a western promised land 20-30 years ago… how it can change within short time.
You should connect with Jules and Camilla who just went through this whole thing and sharing it online. I can imagine they could share some good insight and maybe make you aware of things you might not think of in advance in terms of what it's like to be public with the journey. They did it for the exact same reasons but it wasn't always easy. I think it's really cool that I get to watch my daughter grow up seeing stuff like this and just knowing that whatever she wants or doesn't want when she's older who she ends up loving she'll be fully aware that she has plenty of options to make whatever life she wants to have.
Good luck with everything Lillian and Alexis. I hope it works well for you.
thank you for sharing your story and inspiring me to see how my future life might look lik (and the struggles that come with it). wishing you all the best in this journey!
hey guys can you share what clinic/clinics in vienna are you talking to? I really want to look into this option you are considering. Thanks!
Thanks for sharing this with us ....this is really very sensitive and privat issue. You guys are really role models - it needs to be discussed openly as any other insemination. I cross my fingers and send you a lot of positiv energie. ❤
Best of luck my darlings❤
It is nice to see another queer woman with endo starting a family ❤. Ich hatte mich immer für mich selbst gefragt, ob die Kasse eigentlich IVF bei einem gleichgeschlechtlichen Paar zahlen würde, wenn eine Grunderkrankung vorliegt (Endo). Also wenn man nicht die Methode verwendet, die ihr jetzt nehmt. Weißt du das zufällig?
congrats on the apartment and may your trip be smooth
How exciting for you both💜💜
Thank you so much for sharing this!❤
Não posso ver ninguém, não o que aconteceu, mais vai dar tudo certo ❤❤
Thank you for sharing your journey 😊
Where in Australia are you going? I’m in Newcastle NSW if you want to come my way😍
I wish you all the best 💜
Please don't forget to search for the downsides of using a donor of an international company, and how it can influence the future of the child. What if the child wants to know who the donor is, and which characteristics/medical conditions they inherited from him, for example.
Sending my love ❤❤
Good luck with your journey. Very exciting.... it all changes your life MASSIVELY. I just wonder if the donors would appreciate seeing their personal stuff online??
send love ❤
Thanks!
Good luck.