Thank you Marilyn I was adopted. I was around 4 when daddy dear began coming to my bed at night. My mom at that age never held me again. I overheard her tell my dad at age 14 when I started my monthly cycle that he better stop if he didn’t want to explain to everyone they knew why their 14 year old daughter was pregnant. I’ve never married never had a successful relationship. I am 69 years old I’ve told people but unless it’s happened to them they can’t begin to comprehend the horror living inside you . They don’t understand what it is to not have any memories of what happened for decades after the abuse because they don’t understand dissociative amnesia, and so many other things that result from childhood sexual abuse. The best I can do today is say I no longer consider suicide because I at least got the point where I realized I would be killing the wrong person. That man died in 2010 all I felt was relief not a shred of grief. It took me decades of work to forgive him which was far more for my soul than his. My biggest regret is as I am reaching what little time is left of my life that I have never experienced love as an adult which requires trust. I don’t know how to do that.
So sorry this happened to you. However, let me give you a word of advice: People are not going to understand what you have went through. Never in their WILDEST DREAMS, they just can't concieve of it. I was ABUSED AND NEGLECTED by my egg donor. When I begin to tell what happened to me, people tell me I should write a book. I am sorry you never experienced love. I had an extended family, that was awesome, (non bio related.) They provided me with LOVE, GUIDANCE AND PATIENCE. I could not have made it without them. Therefore, after experiencing hatered and REJECTION, I was able to turn my life around, thanks to them. I could go on, but I will say, keep your chin up and try to find the beauty in life.
@@Imissyoulou At 69 I don’t much care what people think what they do or don’t understand. I survived and got the sob’s money in the end. What people should get is this is where rape is inculcated in our culture. Like charity it begins at home with a relative. I am sorry that you experienced sexual abuse, so many have the scars it leaves are ones never seen. I’m happy you had an extended family able to help you. As I said I’m 69 in the 50’s 60’s 70’s and into the 80’s this kind of abuse NEVER spoken of it wasn’t on the radar at all. In my 30’ and 40’s I went to therapists and began healing what I could and learning to live with the rest of it. I believe those that can’t understand this are those who most likely have it going on somewhere in their family and denial ain’t a river in Egypt it’s so much easier to deny this kind of abuse until the thing blows up like a pressure cooker where the feelings and memories have been trapped with no one to release the pressure in that pot. What we are seeing all over the world today is thousands of years of male patriarchy completely out of balance with the feminine. If we don’t address this imbalance mother earth will do it for us. Just my opinion but I think it’s about spot on.
Oh my gawd...you have so well articulated my own feelings as an incest survivor...I’m in tears here, you have expressed the feelings that I still grapple with at sixty y/o. I can look back on my life and so clearly see the huge impact sexual abuse had on me, and my life choices. The harm, the damage is devastating and lifelong. We must protect children. Please.
@franklange957 hello Frank, hope you are doing okay. I suggest social media isn't the place to find support or friends. It is good to make a connection I think and sometimes that's all you need to go on. For me at least. Other people are braver maybe? Anyway good luck and all best to you. Hope you get what you need to heal. xx ♥️♥️🍀🍀🍀🍀🙏🙏🔥🍏🍀✌️💪👍👍👍👍
I had a very close friend and I watched her start to remember her father abused her many nights for years. One day shopping she said to me “I am having these flashes and I think my father abused me while I was growing”. More and more memories started happening and she eventually she had to be hospitalized. During that time they used drugs to allow the me,pries to come out and more clearly. She finally told her husband whose family lived down the street growing up. His reply to her was to just forget it and don’t start trouble in the family. Until she passed away I don’t think she ever got the help she needed. Like many she found out her mother indeed knew. It is so damaging and the more people I met along the way I was amazed at the number of close friends, coworkers etc. I was blown away. So many women and men were forever changed. This woman has helped so many with her courage.
I read your book about ten years ago. It was so impactful because of my own life, thank you thank you. I Never met my Larry, sadly. How brave to have stood up! Bravo beautiful lady ❤
Marylin is absolutely correct. I cannot remember my mother actually beating me. It was a known fact, and even her friends knew but hoped my dad would keep her at bay...What in the world...This was in the late 70's, back when CPS was really just getting started. I begged to be taken to a foster home because there was something really wrong in our house. I never told, and also ended up that your not close to anyone because the abuser with and without words, infuses their victims with absolute uncertainty that if they told anything to anyone, horrific things would happen. It's been 28 years and after finally asking my old friends if I eve mentioned anything about my mom and all of them said...The only thing you would say over and over is how much you hated her. No one ever asked why. Marylin paved the way for all the survivors by speaking the truth and being shamed. Her sister even came forward.
I met Marilyn at a fund raiser for victims. Before the event started > (the people in charge of it ..knew my story was much like hers.) They put us together alone & I could see she already knew. We hugged & we cried together & she signed my book of hers. Etc. Thankyou Marilyn & you were right 23 yrs after we met. It's still hard. I was a nurse of abused babies who's moms were too young from LA etc I will Make a diff by changing the laws for children federally! ( after all Animals have rights federally so should babies & children.) "For such a Time As This."
I TOO... SEVERAL YEARS AGO I SAW ONE OF MARILYN'S VIDEO...I SAT DOWN AND CRIED WITH RELIEF AND THIS HAS LED TO MY HEALING JOURNEY...I SAW THIS VIDEO AND ONCE AGAIN I CRIED AND CRIED AS THE SHAME,GUILT AND FEAR LEFT MY BODY.. I'VE HEALED TRAUMA ISSUES AND THIS VIDEO ADDRESSED THE SHAME AND GUILT... IM 72 AND IM HEALING WONDERFULLY THANKS TO MARILYN'S STORY AND HER COURAGEOUSNESS TO SPEAK HER TRUTH... SHE'S AN 😇 ANGEL COME TO THIS EARTH... THANK YOU MARILYN FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY ❤.. I'VE RESCUED THE INNER CHILD AND NOW THE INNER CHILD IS RESCUING THE ADULT IN ME. IVE NEVER LOST MY INNOCENCE...MY TRUE HIGHER BEING WAS NEVER TOUCHED BY THIS.. IM FREEEEE NOW... I LOVE YOU MARILYN ❤❤❤❤
Just recently, God has brought 4 women into my life... over a few months I’ve learned all 4 women have been diagnosed as being Bi-Polar... ... ... ... all four were sexually abused. Hmmmm??
My mom was rabid talking about this. It saved my daughter from a relative at THREE. He offered to help her in the bathroom and she yelled loudly that she did not need help in the bathroom. He got put on a plane and sent home. It was my mom's "reverse grooming" that saved her.
Thank God your mother spoke these truths into your child's life. Raised on Porn is a book by Exodus Cry that everyone needs to read in this day and age. It's said if we wait until 8 (it's too late) we need to speak to them at their age level. Good pictures and bad pictures and be open. Normalize it because porn pops up on a phone or computer all the time. Or if they look up boobs or something, up pops hard core pornography. I urge, speak about these things also so people break up with secrets.
Crying...my heart just aches hearing your story. I’m a survivor of varied abusers, so I understand it all. You are a real hero, and I want to thank you for sharing your story. God bless you and your family ❤️
I am so sorry that you had to endure such horror at the hands of the person that should have protected you the most. You are an amazing woman, beautiful inside and out!
There couldn't have been a better person to burst through the barrier of secrecy and shame than this woman. It makes me very angry to know the shame these victims carry, making them twice victims. It's heartbreaking. Thank God for Marilyn and her loving mission.
Thank you for telling your story. I am sure you have helped others by sharing this. So sorry you went through this abuse. Never blame yourself. You were totally innocent, a victim. You are to be admired for surviving this. A truly remarkable lady!
My husband... It hit him in his 40s. Drugs now. I cried through this. Going to send this to him. Have been trying to get him to get help, but he's gotten so bad, we're seperated. Even his parents and siblings didn't know, until I told them. We were married in our late 20s and not even alcohol in our home. So, it's true what she says... For some reason it starts getting hard for them in their 40s and 50s. I cried for my husband while listening to her talk.
AMAZING WOMAN. I am a survivor as well, lived with my pedophile stepfather from age 5-16. It is the HARDEST thing to talk about. Thank you (x's100000!) For STANDING UP FOR THE REST OF US. I think the thing that nobody understands is that it is the hardest thing to think about/worst thing in the world to have to speak of. The damages that it does are forever....It is even harder to think of the cognitive dissonance that my mother chose. There was NO WAY that my mother was unaware. She claims that she didnt know, but as a mom I now know that it was IMPOSSIBLE for her not to know. There were just too many things that just dont make sense. Thank you for putting this out, I appreciate it more then I can tell you.
@Marilyn Willett She has obvi had alot of therapy to deal with her experiense and feelings. Alot of people don't. Don't have the money too or don't feel like they have the strength to do so. And they are boiling with emotions, I'm sure they/we would love to be able to sound like this awesome lady. Try not to judge the delivery of victims/survivors.
To me the best part of her story is where she said It is never too late to be a mother. So she lets any such mothers, who are willing to be mothers and not go into denial, see that saying they are deeply sorry for the incest to their child, can be an incredibly worthwhile thing to do for their relationship. Otherwise there will be no true relationship, and love will not have won.
This is an amazing story of a most courageous, beautiful and eloquent woman! Marilyn, I congratulate you on living your truth and, in doing so, helping so many others. May God continue to bless you on your journey!
Amazing woman. I am so sorry for what you endured. Both your parents failed you. I am so very glad you had a wonderful husband and that your in-laws were so supportive.
Can you believe some people didn’t believe her until her sister came forward & they wonder why people don’t tell & the predators play on this . Let’s make it safe for those hurt to speak
Thank you for speaking out Marylin! Perpetrators are the ones who should feel guilty, they are the ones who do horrific things! Why victims feel ashamed? This is not right! All darkness should be brought to light - it's time to get rid of it now!
Beautiful lady inside and out. She’s like an Angel and inspiration for many man and women all over the world victims of evil people, “it’s never late to tell someone” sadly those perpetrators, most of the time are relatives.
She was keynote speaker at a Counseling Conference I attended and she did have us stand, which I was one of, then my friends and others layed hands on us and prayed over us. So healing. Romans 8:28
Marilyn says , " To tell someone , when you begin your journey " . I did . Tried to tell two close female family members (that I trusted) . They called me , "CrAzY" . A Liar . Told me I was Insane ; and , needed to be committed . I was Crushed . The only other people I told were : my husband , my Mother-in-law , and a Therapist . I am 45 yrs old . And , those feelings are resurfacing . I am in the place that Marilyn is speaking about . 45 - 50 yrs old . The hard times .
I have been molested by my 3 years older cousin through the ages 5-10. When I was young, I thought that what has happened to me was 'normal'. Much later, when I was at college I realized that what have happened to me was anything than normal. I confided to my mother last year and she was shocked but I don't think she could fully understand what I was and probably still am going through. She said something like 'you were both children and didn't know what you were doing' but the problem was that I DID NOT DO anything. It was him! Not me! I see my cousin from time to time, he is married but I could never like him and still can not. He does not like me, he never liked me. I didn't do anything wrong to him, yet he dislikes me! I have all the right to hate him but he does not!! My mother tried to give forward following explanation: Your cousin comes from a broken home, parents divorced, father later died in a car crash - THTA'S why he probably acted weird. 'WEIRD'???? I was just crusched and I swear that I will never opened up this subject to anyone anymore. I felt tlike I was not taken serious and as if I was exaggerating this whole situation - which I do not! Anyways, any kind of sexual abuse encounter leaves a deep scar and I know that I need to take professional counseling at some point....
oh dear, I am so sorry that you have to go through such a horrible story.... two months ago my 21 years old son came and told me that the neighbour boy who was 5 years older raped him a few times when hi was 6 years old...I was and still am so shocked about it...We were crying together so much. He started with therapy, I am glad that this memory came back to him, because he had two years of deep depression. For me it is a hard pill to swallow that I couldnt protect him and I cant understand why I never found out about this, to think that my little boy had to be alone with this hurts me so much... I hope you can get compassion from someone else than your mother, at least I will send you from here a huge hug full of love and understanding♥️
I too am so sorry for what happened to you but more so the way yr mother has betrayed you on top of all that.. Gosh us parents can do such alot of damage by our ill used words & lack of compassion & motherly care n love!! Well guess what, you have shared again..here..so, well done to you. Of course it was not your fault & i think you should make your mother understand yr story once more. And when u nxt see yr cousin, u might consider asking him what his problem with u is & tell him how he should be thankful u never told his wife..and that u are not going to tolerate his treatment of u & that u are waiting for an apology. Thats what I reckon. Im glad it wasnt yr father. But one thing I want to say is this..they raped your body but I didnt touch yr soul..dont you let it! You share about it more & make yr mum accountable to listen properly & handle with respect toward you! How did she excuse the cousin's behaviour & u let her know youvdidnt share such things just to hear her not have yr back!
Memory Malunga would you have as much respect for her if she was still actually broken? I noticed most people don't have respect for people who are broken. Which is ironic, considering they're willing to worship people who pulled it together. We're all the same people. Just a question worth asking. If she didn't come out in the end this strong, would you still think she was amazing? For having survived at all?
@@ladymaiden2308 so true madam maiden so very true....this woman has been thru hell yet is very glamorous and put together. she deserves admiration....but so do all survivors of this kind of horror as well, no matter their image. she also had a wonderful husband and i know that mustve helped her heal a lot.....so many survivors never get that. in spite of it all she had some help, because of her beauty im sure. she's beautiful inside and out but at the same time, we all know most men are primarily attracted to looks no matter what other attributes a woman may have
Thank you for sharing your story. I've been there myself. I was touched by many boys and men. I hated myself. I tried telling people but it went against me. I was treated like it was my fault. People I would tell my story to turned around and shared my story (not their story to tell. I've left communities to start over several times. I hated people but I hated myself more. I'm 70 and still have issues. I'm married to a wonderful man and have a grown son. They don't judge. Thank you for letting me understand myself a little better. Still the pain will follow me to my grave. Tearfully yours Donna 😢
♥️🙏 for you I pray and the other beautiful innocents. You'll be ok. You deserve good things and you'll have them. Be good to yourself too, kind and gentle. ♥️♥️♥️🐦🙏 You are so dear to the Lord.
How the hell does a father do this to his own little girl? This is evil evil stuff!!! I can’t imagine the pain these people have to go through every day thinking about what happened!!!
Unfortunately many predators start young and then turn into a dirty old man. They never get stopped, and just like Marilyns dad, he was a predator with other kids.
Even knowing the statistics of CSA doesn’t always give us survivors peace because of the extra shame involved when it’s your own parent. I’ve felt much more isolated because it was my father - the one person who was supposed to protect me - who molested me. It absolutely shatters your sense of being safe in the world. The reason I had to face what was going on, is he apologized to me the next day, obv. feeling guilty for what he had done. It was like my whole world crashed down in one second, and even I couldn’t deny it because he was acknowledging what he had done was wrong. He did apologize one more time when he thought he was dying, and then on his deathbed he confessed to my brother. Did my mother know? I don’t think so, but I have no desire to make her miserable (she’s 96). My bro and I both know he was a monster. My wound healed somewhat with the apology but the scar is always there, but the damage was done - I have had a very hard time trusting men. I have only told one person - my therapist. My husband of 24 years never knew (he passed in 2017). I will never marry again.
Its all very sad..& sadder because you couldn't tell yr husband even..i guess hed have to have known something was amiss because the relationship gets affected one way or another because of our hidden shame & pain. Do you think your father was sorry though?? He apologised thrice, the 2nd in front of yr brother. ( have I read right?). I know that doesnt make him right but if you could forgive him it might take any bitterness you may have, away. I know all about unforgivess leading to bitterness..i lived with a mother who was bitter up to 4 yrs ago..shes 90 now. It was awful to be around ..like a poison that harmed her & us children. What yr dad did will still be wrong but you might get yrself freer. Also..if u could realize that all humans are born with a sin nature & there is no one who is without. Yours tho' the worst type I feel..sexual sins against a child! Helen Roseveare has a good message Id love u to listen to..i think it could help. Maybe you have been able to help others too as Marilyn has..even just one. I imagine youd be kind & caring of vulnerable. One thing though..to be molested by a father is a big one to get over..the very 1st male we love & as you say, should be protecting us. Unfortunately, they are not all whole themselves(& may have been touched by the same hand themselves), & do let us down..some more so than others.& some: over n over. I also let my children down as a mother in many areas. Im sorry for all youve been through..but you are a survivor..you have spojen out here..well done!
This lady has done the right thing by so many other people. What a woman! What a hero! Marilyn van Derber, you'll never know how many lives you've saved, and will continue to save. Well done and a standing ovation on another topic so difficult for many people to discuss. ❤😊😊
Please do not trust any males alone with your young daughters, not even doctors or sports coaches, there is no good reason for it. Quite a few women have confided their sexual abuse past to me.
I agree 100%, Ms. Willett. Parents, sitters, and teachers have to be VIGILANT, because lifelong damage can happen in seconds, NO EXAGGERATION, and the pedophiles are vigilant looking for opportunities, both planned and random. And, as Van Derbur pointed out, ________________________________________________ average "mentally healthy" 14 year-old boys are the number 1 perpetrators of childhood sexual abuse-- ________________________________________________ (against easy targets like sisters, sister's friends, little sisters of THEIR friends, neighbors, etc.) . Van Derbur's talk took it EASY on 'normal' boys: I have six brothers (we're all 50 - 63 now) and every one of them knew damn well where the line was with me: they'd hit, kick, and cuss at me, throw rocks, but, they did not EVER touch or gawk at or speak about my person in a sexual way, ever, and I am not aware of any training they got from my folks. My normal healthy brothers, older and younger, KNEW because people understand expressions of pain, hurt and confusion, and if I told on them for hitting me, they were getting disciplined. If they had touched me sexually, they would have been severely disciplined, I am sure, but it never even occurred to me that they might ever. Teenage boys KNOW if they are HURTING their little sister or her friends. Your sons, folks, need continual training and reminders of what is okay and consequences, and you birddogging them when they are alone with your daughters to make sure you catch any degree of inappropriate touching, or SNOOPING in her things, or SPYING on her from the closet. I have a daughter and was vigilant, I protected her from joining a day care at age 2 because I FELT a vibe from the teacher before she started: two months later that teacher's photo was on the front page having abused 2 year-olds IN DIAPERS for several months, over 40 repeat victims. Absolute vigilance is not possible without imprisonment, and we may fail, but we must try. Never let down your guard, never. We may never know, never be told that that one time we let down our guard, our child was abused and they have been terrified by the perpetrator from telling you. Yes, protect your sons, too, but it's 90% girls who are sexually abused by males. Keep that in mind when as a parent of boys you get offended that 'it's all about girl victims." It's by far and away mostly girl victims. Add your stories about your sons, speak up for them, yes, definitely, but you don't have to 'shove it' in the face of parents of girl victims like 'we don't care' about the boy victims. In our patriarchal society, womens/girls issues, even still with the "Me, too" clarion calls, and "Times up," digging in of our heels, women victims have to fight for space, for acknowledgement of our suffering and loss (example: it was only when the male victims of Keven Spacey came forward and Spacey was IMMEDIATELY reprimanded with losing his jobs that we could see how STILL, men's voices are taken at face value while the dozens of female Bill Cosby victims, and tens of female Harvey Weinstein victims, et al, had to cool their jets while it took WEEKS, MONTHS, and YEARS for those victim stories to merit being considered TRUE, and worthy of national media address, or reprimand of any kind from those perps' business associates and corporate overlords.)
We can be pretty confident in keeping 100% focus on men and teenage boys, though. The teensy % of female abusers could multiply by 1,000 incidents per year and our focus on male abusers and ACTUALLY stopping them would be the highest and best use of our time for generations to come, TRAGICALLY. Morality isn't at an all time low, MEN are at an all time EXPOSURE. Their morality is low, and ALWAYS has been in our patriarchal society. Male victims have my complete sympathy and concern, and they are WELCOME to join the fight. Men STANDING UP for women victims would be awesome, where are you guys who were not assaulted but believe, support and stand by all the MILLIONS of little girls and women who are molested? Where is THEIR morality? Like breast cancer though, which does not KILL men but in tiny numbers, and that is why the AMA does not push mammograms for men, we aren't going to see breast cancer posters in men's locker rooms. Please don't distract from the MUCH LARGER ISSUE. GALACTICALLY LARGER. Thank you.
My brother was almost 14 when he molested me. My mom passed away never knowing. I wasn't close to her. She was on drugs really bad & very abusive. Her father molested her and her sister repeatedly for years until they were adults. They STILL communicated with him before he died. Put it this way.....5 aunts, 5 uncles. All male cousins and uncles including my brother were/perverts that I don't fool with, ever! I moved to a whole new state! There's just way too much to this story. I should wrote a book. Smh😩
Freckled Beauty I’m sure your mom turned to drugs because of what happened to her as a child. I went through the same thing and ended up using drugs in my 40’s. I’m 57 now and look back and I believe I ended up getting addicted to drugs to mask the pain of my childhood.
I'm sorry to hear what happened to you, your brother may have had it done to him, if most of the males in your family where pervs! and thought it was the norm, which we all know isn't,
This is the most important interview I have ever seen. Why only 115 thumbs up for this brave woman's truth, and why in God's name 3 thumbs down. . Soul murder , which incest and rape is , must be punishable by death. Marilyn Van Derbur is a SAINT !
Thank you for making this Video I think it will help so many people. You are an inspiration! I was molested by my father from three to five. I innocently told my mother she took my three brothers and I from Alaska to Seattle. I somehow knew the divorce was my fault...or believed it was. As a young adult I was different. Not interested in men. Sadly I went into therapy to find out why and was sexually abused by him! I never married and have no trust in men. Watching your story and seeing your courage is so uplifting! Thank you. 🙏
woow great that your mom believed you most moms would not and deny out of thier own fear.its not a matter of winning over darkness but heal it reveal it no self judgment which was never yours and the world changes for ever.
I think there needs to be a support group for people who have not been sexually abused but are tramatized by knowing their friends have. My best childhood friend was abused and her daughter was abused. I tried to intervene, but the denial took over and we cannot communicate. I realize now after watching this that she was too young, but I'm still mad that she didn't do more to protect her daughter. And I'm mad that I can't forgive.
You are such a courageous woman with a beautiful soul. Thank you so much for sharing your story and helping so many people to heal and to let go of their shame. Bless you.
I'm now 51, I've had to learn to like me. Through the years I had always felt like I was alien. Different. Till others shared there horrible stories. It's cathartic to tell.
I have always thought her story is so heartbreaking!! Anyone who hurts a child is evil, the worst thing to me is sexual assault of a child!! I have thanked God many times I did not go through that horror. This woman is awesome and has helped so many people, she is truly doing Gods work here on earth. Thank you for telling your story as hard as it may have been. A true blessing!! God help you all
Thank you so much for opening your heart to others that have been abused. I was fortunate that I didn’t have to go through and the pain you went through 😢😢😢❤❤
Hurt people, from every strata of society, hurt others. Many go to their graves with their secrets of their abuse. Kudos to Ms. Marilyn for helping with the healing!!
Oh, I am absolutely stunned! My older brother inappropriately touched me when I was eight years old and he was only 11. I repressed that memory for 32 years! And then there were more perpetrators amongst whom my 30 year old nephew when I was 16. It is both upsetting and comforting to know that this happens frequently. I never heard this before. The aftermath of all that has happened to me is huge. My adrenal glands don’t work properly anymore because of the severe stress, and because of that, I lost most of my eyesight 2 1/2 years ago. I’m on disability. But I am glad to be Dutch because in this country things are organized better for people like me, although never perfect of course. Now you see your braveness has done many many people good.
Thank you Marylin Van DerBur, you're a light that touches many hearts, mine included. I'm not a survivor, but I've met 2 people in my life that shared their heart wrenching stories with me. One of them was the daughter of a leader in a Satanic Church in Holland. She had to participate in a ritual killing of 2 adults when she was young. With great courage and perseverance she managed to escape her family and stay alive. She chose to teach herself to detox from the effect of post hypnotic programming in her brain, which tried to convince her that she should kill herself. That's the fortification around these cults using black magic. Once you're out, your life is in danger and you're cursed by all who stay inside. No contact, no life sign, as if one ceases to exist. Affection and withdrawal of affection, plus torture, at a very young age creates a fragmented personality and this form of mind-control creates people who can live a normal life, with a successful career and friendships, even contributing to the community. At the same time they're able to participate in secret gatherings, where consciousness altering substances are provided, allowing members to perform extreme behaviour. Once they wake up next morning, the normal life mode is switched on again. The woman, who was a mother of 2 kids, she had her son with her when we met, told me (we spoke English so that her son didn't follow the conversation) that she was frequently taken from her bed at night and brought to a private air-plane by car, to visit gatherings. After she escaped she needed many years to heal and recover, coming to terms with that horrific past. She met her future husband who.... lo and behold... escaped from a similar family background and they found great comfort in understanding one another, started a family together and now raise 2 children. The mother expressed her concern about the choice of school for her children. She told me that large school institutes in Holland are in great competition with each other, drawing pupils to their school and manipulating the graduation results, in order to receive funding. Due to that need, headmasters also accept large sums from certain people who are involved in pedophile practices, bringing schoolchildren to certain venues, under the pretence that they will enjoy a special activity outside the school. These school children are programmed in the same manner, to prevent them from talking about these activities. Holland and Belgium are the 2 countries where most human trafficking takes place. By now, some of you may shake their heads in disbelief and maybe shock, reading this long comment of mine. Believe me, when I listened to this mother, my body wanted to run away and be done with it. My heart told me to stay and share my feelings, which I did, in tears. The mother fully accepted this and understood. She was a very wise mature woman, after her visit to hell and escape from it. This conversation, which happened in 2014, has changed me and by listening to your story I've found a deeper understanding of how it is to be a survivor and what living in shame means. Thank you, may your work be blessed and may your heart beat strong for yourself and others who dare to open their heart again to themselves.
If I didn't know of friends who are Pastors who spent years, weeks at a time opening their home to a victim of something similar (I don't know all the story so if I say not as gruesome I could be wrong, but her privacy was respected by them) then I would have rolled my eyes in incredulous disbelief. But I do and so can believe what you are sharing. They learnt about SRA (satanic ritual abuse) to help her and they did help her but it involved the super natural very powerfully. Thank you for being there for your friend. It's so hard to believe such incredible human ugliness exists. As a christian it sure makes more real the battle between darkness and light. God Bless you.
Thank you, Yonnie68, in a way it's comforting to know that you know too and so are more in the know, I'm sure. I remember how I felt when I said goodbye to the mother who shared her dramatic life-story with me. For the time I did my shopping in the city where I lived, I was in turmoil, processing the intensity of that meeting. My imagination ran away with me, for I felt as if there were underground tunnels connecting to secret places for these Satanic Rituals, under my feet. It took me a couple of days to digest all of it, so to speak. To me, the condition on planet Earth with forces of light and darkness, is a learning curve in consciously choosing and to experience the harvest of what I sow. The fruit of understanding, also in making new choices... until I learn.
I have a friend who had the same experiences on an altar at the age of 3, and continued in her childhood. Another, a man, who was sodomized with objects growing up. They both suffered from huge scar tissue damage though adulthood. And a little girl who's older brother was sneaking into her bed at night from 14 till he left. And a girl who's dad and uncle snuck into her bed until it came out and a lock was installed on her bedroom door. Subtle way to tell them to leave her alone. It's so hard to talk about that it's hard for the other half of yourself to feel safe to be honest.
Marian B....That is one powerful message Marian & truly scares me. I am glad not to have small children in my family now because I am sure things like this still happen. We live in such an evil world.
What a generous soul to be able to move beyond her shame to help others. I kept my secret for 31 years. You think you had something to do with it, that you did something wrong.
I'm speechless that she survived. I suffer from depession and I don't think I can survive it I take one day at a time I never thought a person can go through this and survive. I was not an incest victim but the truma of depresss is the same. I thank her for telling her story.
You have all my respect. Bravo for your courage and thank you on behalf of all the children who silently undergo the gestures that will largely destroy their confidence and self-love. I was abused and raped I was only 13 and got pregnant at 15. My mother was not there for me she was absent she especially did not want to speak with me because she knew to be responsible also in part. Thank you, thank you for putting words in to awaken young people and tell them that they have power. thank you for the mission that you once decided to take on, well done. Thank you Jo from Quebec
About the shame..what you are saying is absolute, sterling truth! After her mother's death when she was a young teen, my adoptive mother was molested by one of her younger brothers (who were all older than she). Because she could not live safely in her own home any longer, she spent her teen years living with relatives. It was not discussed...ever. The whole family knew about it but refused to acknowledge it so I had no place to go when the going got rough. My adoptive mother was an absolute monster to me...I could never trust her, ever. She would not discuss her issues with me but continued to abuse me verbally, mentally and emotionally. (She also abused my adoptive brother, his wife and my son, as well.) When she died at the age of 84, I was so relieved. (I think we all were!) Thankfully, my adoptive father loved me a lot and supported me when I really needed it! So incest can be the gift that keeps on giving if a survivor lives in denial and vents his or her tortured emotions on his or her family.
Thank you For coming through for all of us that have gone through this painful situation, I was sexually abused by my 3 cousins, I has only 5 and it when through it till I was 12.
Think how many incest victims Marilyn's open ,courageous disclosure has helped liberate and bring healing to. .Bless you Marilyn, for your courage and leadership.You are a true inspiration!
She is such an amazingly beautiful woman! The Lord turned her tragedy into strength and her suffering to help thousands of women AND men find their strength!!! She is a blessing to so many
❤i was sexually assaulted at 4 by a female babysitter. Your testimony is lovely, how you have held to the grace and faith in yourself and others AND with such wisdom. I also thank you from the bottom of my heart for your work as a beautiful young lady and woman. A mountain in my recovery is reclaiming my voice as well as my beauty, always struggling with words and what I am supposed to look like. Elegant, lovely, safe and kind. I am enjoying a season of success as i become more skilled in sharing the blessings in being a beautiful woman and child of God. Withoit women like you, I never could have envisioned such strength, resilience, and love together
I mean no disrespect by what I am going to say here, so here it is. I find it quite strange that she shakes her head "no" while she is saying how proud she is of herself. It is heartbreaking to see because I have been taught that this means she does not really believe what she is saying when she says one thing, yet her body is saying the opposite. It's like she still struggles to believe she is the incredible, strong woman that she is. I do understand however, because when we go through this type of abuse, there is always that night time child lurking around every corner, just waiting for an opportunity to steal your joy. Marylin, you can believe what are saying because it is true. You have overcome what I believe is the hardest thing in life that any of us can ever have to face. I am so proud of you and the workyou are doing to help the rest of us to find healing and empowerment. You are so very inspirational. I thank GOD for you and the courage and strength He has given you to go out there and be who He has called you to be. I am amazed at how GOD gives us "beauty for ashes". I love you, you dear precious woman, and I love that little girl part of you who was so traumatized. If you were here right now I would hold that little girl and tell her she has been so brave and so strong and we are all so proud of you for telling your story and helping us. Love to you ALWAYS!
With respect to your point of view and encouragement, Unknown Person, I believe that what we're taught of theories and definitions are merely one of many ways of looking at things. Theories are in essence definitions of one single person and they're as valid as yours and mine. Isn't the proof of theories in the pudding of mundane daily life, instead of the other way around? If you park that what's been taught to you about body language, for 10 seconds outside of your belief-system and than look at Marilyn again (in that moment of her pride) feel what your gut feeling is telling you. To me, the shaking of her head showed her amazed feeling about the transformation she's gone through, arriving at where she is now. Happily surprised. To me, Marilyn shows a remarkable honesty in the steps she took, plus her paralysis while holding on to terror, for that's all she knew. I've learned a great deal by listening to her story, for I've got to learn compassion for myself and humility in allowing others to be in where they are, no matter how devastating it looks like to me, triggering my need to do good. I'm realising in my life now, that by my need to end suffering in others I'm co-dependent in affirming my sense of being someone for myself. To realise I'm a sovereign human being. My imagined sense of autonomy (projected on others) is a mirage only. It's a persona I've come to call Mother Superior. She's stepping down from her oratory now, mingling with the people of the street and relieved for having left her solitary existence. My suffering in company with superior feelings, is sublimated by helping others to end theirs and that's a delusion in my present eyes. Auchh.... and hurray..! at the same time. My eyes are open, I'm free now to be able to acknowledge that truth within! In Marilyn's life, having overcome her mirage of identity creation, with glamour and beauty, choosing to be a public speaker, all that in an isolated position, is an inspiring example of what it means to heal one's autonomy. As I see it, Marilyn learned to feel her heart for herself, so that she can share the treasure that she found in it. Isn't the pearl a treasure, grown after doing an amount of knitty gritty work by the animal in the shell? Marilyn has left her shell and I'm making cracks in mine, by trusting that life can be nurturing when I'm open to receive it ;)
@@devonseamoor I hope you got an A for that fucking boring dissertation ...this lady is right its used by experts around the world to tell if murder suspects are lying The crazy bullshit rant must have made her feel awful congrats you old hag
Are you serious lady? Can you show us your Unknown Doctorate in this field? lol I have been taught that anyone who speaks as "unknown" does not exist! lol
Marilyn, Your mother knew. Coming out with the truth, that I believe, is phenomenal. What a living nightmare global sexual violence is. I share as often as I feel moved by GOD to do so. It cuts like a knife how treacherous is the evil, when you tell your story. what a world world what a world. Listening to the numbers of incest survivors is not acceptable, shocking. Thanking God first, how precious a gift, the truth is , it just heals.
I need you in my life. My cousin sent me this video today. I am 65 now “FREE” is still a destination for me. I think of death more than life. Not suicidal by any means, just like something died in me when I was 4. What would my life had been like if my dad had not been so sick. I am now remarried with 4 children and 2 grandchildren. That is where my happiness it. Thank you wish we could talk.
Yes her mother should not have allowed this to go on..period. like, at all. I know her mother was also upset, blah blah blah blah blah but as soon as you have a child, that's your job. That's your 100% and full and total job. Do your fucking job. Care for your child. That's it, that's all.
The eyes tell stories. I look at the photo of her father and I can tell he was evil. There's a certain look in a predator or criminal person. One need to learn recognize. I am so sorry for the life of this beautiful woman. She's not the only one. It's more common than a naive person can understand. It happens all over the world, to different races and culture. Some people become possessed by the evil of sexual lust.
I love how you are holding your head up high! Thank you for being an inspiration to other chidren facing horrific physical, emotional and psychological abuse.
Dearest Marlin, thank you for speaking out! You are beautiful, wise and God sent to many of us. I'm a father to 2 girls, and your testimony and words here mean a lot to me. I'm sending you a big hug as I'm feeling your words. On behalf of the "good" men, I wish to extend love, respect and appreciation to our children and women. That's exactly what I taught my children - " your privates- no one touches it, unless you are hurt and BOTH your parents approve"
I've felt shame for being groomed online, I ended up willingly showing myself on cam, to 2 different guys. But the worst guy was living in England. I had actually felt love for him. From age 13 till age 16, and I ended up saying something at 17. Nothing happened to him, but eventually he was caught because he and his girlfriend had raped a girl in his flat, and the police found hundreds of child porn on his computer. I feel embarrassed still that I exposed myself and fell for it. But to be honest, I was just very young and naive. He knew what he was doing, he groomed me and other girls into doing what he wanted.
You have nothing to feel embarrassed about! Thank you for sharing your story! Just as you said, you were young and naive. Please ask God or whomever you believe in to have this removed from you! Love & Blessings
@@bonnielucas1941 thank you ❤️. I think I can finally move on from it, not long after posting this comment, I remembered details and why I first showed him anything, cried it out, which was something I hadn't done before. I have knowledge now about this kind of thing, which I can teach my girls about whenever they end up online. If my experience keeps them from the same thing, then it's probably a good thing in a way that I learned the hard lesson, instead of them having to.
Sorry to hear this. Hope you are getting the help you deserve. The internet is this great mystery that we are all learning by the day. Don't feel ashamed.
Ashenicky2009 Don’t feel bad. You did not know predators, the lowest of low are out there. I constantly tell kids when I see them do not talk to strangers on the internet. I tell them not to tell people any personal info about themselves. Don’t worry we don’t think bad of you, we think bad of the predators that did that.
Marilyn Van Derbur....It is such a devastating thing to happen. Which is why women must be allowed an equal role with their husbands so they can talk and debate as equals. You mother never had the courage to stand up for her child. You are a brave woman and a beautiful accomplished one too. God Bless you!
6/25/23: I wept with Marilyn during the first video I saw. Marilyn has helped thousands if not millions of victims. Thank you, Marilyn!
An amazing woman tells a tragic story with such grace and authenticity ❤❤
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Thank you Marilyn I was adopted. I was around 4 when daddy dear began coming to my bed at night. My mom at that age never held me again. I overheard her tell my dad at age 14 when I started my monthly cycle that he better stop if he didn’t want to explain to everyone they knew why their 14 year old daughter was pregnant. I’ve never married never had a successful relationship. I am 69 years old I’ve told people but unless it’s happened to them they can’t begin to comprehend the horror living inside you . They don’t understand what it is to not have any memories of what happened for decades after the abuse because they don’t understand dissociative amnesia, and so many other things that result from childhood sexual abuse. The best I can do today is say I no longer consider suicide because I at least got the point where I realized I would be killing the wrong person. That man died in 2010 all I felt was relief not a shred of grief. It took me decades of work to forgive him which was far more for my soul than his. My biggest regret is as I am reaching what little time is left of my life that I have never experienced love as an adult which requires trust. I don’t know how to do that.
So sorry this happened to you. However, let me give you a word of advice: People are not going to understand what you have went through. Never in their WILDEST DREAMS, they just can't concieve of it. I was ABUSED AND NEGLECTED by my egg donor. When I begin to tell what happened to me, people tell me I should write a book. I am sorry you never experienced love. I had an extended family, that was awesome, (non bio related.) They provided me with LOVE, GUIDANCE AND PATIENCE. I could not have made it without them. Therefore, after experiencing hatered and REJECTION, I was able to turn my life around, thanks to them. I could go on, but I will say, keep your chin up and try to find the beauty in life.
@@Imissyoulou At 69 I don’t much care what people think what they do or don’t understand. I survived and got the sob’s money in the end. What people should get is this is where rape is inculcated in our culture. Like charity it begins at home with a relative. I am sorry that you experienced sexual abuse, so many have the scars it leaves are ones never seen. I’m happy you had an extended family able to help you. As I said I’m 69 in the 50’s 60’s 70’s and into the 80’s this kind of abuse NEVER spoken of it wasn’t on the radar at all. In my 30’ and 40’s I went to therapists and began healing what I could and learning to live with the rest of it. I believe those that can’t understand this are those who most likely have it going on somewhere in their family and denial ain’t a river in Egypt it’s so much easier to deny this kind of abuse until the thing blows up like a pressure cooker where the feelings and memories have been trapped with no one to release the pressure in that pot. What we are seeing all over the world today is thousands of years of male patriarchy completely out of balance with the feminine. If we don’t address this imbalance mother earth will do it for us. Just my opinion but I think it’s about spot on.
Oh my gawd...you have so well articulated my own feelings as an incest survivor...I’m in tears here, you have expressed the feelings that I still grapple with at sixty y/o. I can look back on my life and so clearly see the huge impact sexual abuse had on me, and my life choices. The harm, the damage is devastating and lifelong. We must protect children. Please.
I hope that you get help and get better soon.🙏🙏
♥️🙏✌️xx
I cried at different places as she spoke. I cried for her and I cried for myself.
@franklange957 hello Frank, hope you are doing okay. I suggest social media isn't the place to find support or friends. It is good to make a connection I think and sometimes that's all you need to go on. For me at least. Other people are braver maybe?
Anyway good luck and all best to you. Hope you get what you need to heal. xx ♥️♥️🍀🍀🍀🍀🙏🙏🔥🍏🍀✌️💪👍👍👍👍
it is like 1 crack in auto Windshield- it grows & Distorts
I had a very close friend and I watched her start to remember her father abused her many nights for years. One day shopping she said to me “I am having these flashes and I think my father abused me while I was growing”. More and more memories started happening and she eventually she had to be hospitalized. During that time they used drugs to allow the me,pries to come out and more clearly. She finally told her husband whose family lived down the street growing up. His reply to her was to just forget it and don’t start trouble in the family. Until she passed away I don’t think she ever got the help she needed. Like many she found out her mother indeed knew. It is so damaging and the more people I met along the way I was amazed at the number of close friends, coworkers etc. I was blown away. So many women and men were forever changed. This woman has helped so many with her courage.
I read your book about ten years ago. It was so impactful because of my own life, thank you thank you. I Never met my Larry, sadly. How brave to have stood up! Bravo beautiful lady ❤
Marylin is absolutely correct. I cannot remember my mother actually beating me. It was a known fact, and even her friends knew but hoped my dad would keep her at bay...What in the world...This was in the late 70's, back when CPS was really just getting started. I begged to be taken to a foster home because there was something really wrong in our house. I never told, and also ended up that your not close to anyone because the abuser with and without words, infuses their victims with absolute uncertainty that if they told anything to anyone, horrific things would happen. It's been 28 years and after finally asking my old friends if I eve mentioned anything about my mom and all of them said...The only thing you would say over and over is how much you hated her. No one ever asked why. Marylin paved the way for all the survivors by speaking the truth and being shamed. Her sister even came forward.
I met Marilyn at a fund raiser for victims. Before the event started > (the people in charge of it ..knew my story was much like hers.) They put us together alone & I could see she already knew. We hugged & we cried together & she signed my book of hers. Etc.
Thankyou Marilyn & you were right 23 yrs after we met. It's still hard. I was a nurse of abused babies who's moms were too young from LA etc
I will Make a diff by changing the laws for children federally! ( after all Animals have rights federally so should babies & children.)
"For such a Time As This."
The absolute torture that this lady went through and for her to think it was her shame.. beyond words 😭😭😭😭😭
This woman is exquisite, what an amazing person with such a story that needs to be told.
she's so regal and classy even after all the horror she's been thru. its amazing
Truly beautiful woman inside and out.
You are the gift, I'm feeling incredibly privileged to listen to your story.
I TOO... SEVERAL YEARS AGO I SAW ONE OF MARILYN'S VIDEO...I SAT DOWN AND CRIED WITH RELIEF AND THIS HAS LED TO MY HEALING JOURNEY...I SAW THIS VIDEO AND ONCE AGAIN I CRIED AND CRIED AS THE SHAME,GUILT AND FEAR LEFT MY BODY..
I'VE HEALED TRAUMA ISSUES AND THIS VIDEO ADDRESSED THE SHAME AND GUILT...
IM 72 AND IM HEALING WONDERFULLY THANKS TO MARILYN'S STORY AND HER COURAGEOUSNESS TO SPEAK HER TRUTH...
SHE'S AN 😇 ANGEL COME TO THIS EARTH...
THANK YOU MARILYN FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY ❤..
I'VE RESCUED THE INNER CHILD AND NOW THE INNER CHILD IS RESCUING THE ADULT IN ME.
IVE NEVER LOST MY INNOCENCE...MY TRUE HIGHER BEING WAS NEVER TOUCHED BY THIS..
IM FREEEEE NOW...
I LOVE YOU MARILYN ❤❤❤❤
Thank you Marylin Van Derbur, you gave me the strength to get help for my childhood violence and torture.
Just recently, God has brought 4 women into my life... over a few months I’ve learned all 4 women have been diagnosed as being Bi-Polar... ... ... ... all four were sexually abused. Hmmmm??
Bless you, Rhonda.
@@merryheartenterprisesaka-t72TV
My mom was rabid talking about this. It saved my daughter from a relative at THREE. He offered to help her in the bathroom and she yelled loudly that she did not need help in the bathroom. He got put on a plane and sent home. It was my mom's "reverse grooming" that saved her.
Thank God your mother spoke these truths into your child's life. Raised on Porn is a book by Exodus Cry that everyone needs to read in this day and age. It's said if we wait until 8 (it's too late) we need to speak to them at their age level. Good pictures and bad pictures and be open. Normalize it because porn pops up on a phone or computer all the time. Or if they look up boobs or something, up pops hard core pornography. I urge, speak about these things also so people break up with secrets.
Crying...my heart just aches hearing your story. I’m a survivor of varied abusers, so I understand it all. You are a real hero, and I want to thank you for sharing your story. God bless you and your family ❤️
What a pity Marilyn didnt get to read all these comment's..just couldnt really..pkus..is ut ger page?
Everything she says is so painfully true. It’s just a blessing she can articulate all aspects of this terrifying living experience.
How awful that Marylin did not have one good parent. She was blessed in other ways.
You are a very inspirational woman, truly one class act, I sincerely applaud you!
I am so sorry that you had to endure such horror at the hands of the person that should have protected you the most. You are an amazing woman, beautiful inside and out!
There couldn't have been a better person to burst through the barrier of secrecy and shame than this woman. It makes me very angry to know the shame these victims carry, making them twice victims. It's heartbreaking. Thank God for Marilyn and her loving mission.
Thank you for telling your story. I am sure you have helped others by sharing this. So sorry you went through this abuse. Never blame yourself. You were totally innocent, a victim. You are to be admired for surviving this. A truly remarkable lady!
My husband... It hit him in his 40s. Drugs now. I cried through this. Going to send this to him.
Have been trying to get him to get help, but he's gotten so bad, we're seperated.
Even his parents and siblings didn't know, until I told them.
We were married in our late 20s and not even alcohol in our home.
So, it's true what she says... For some reason it starts getting hard for them in their 40s and 50s.
I cried for my husband while listening to her talk.
How does this story not have more views?? She is am AMAZNG woman !!!!
AMAZING WOMAN. I am a survivor as well, lived with my pedophile stepfather from age 5-16. It is the HARDEST thing to talk about. Thank you (x's100000!) For STANDING UP FOR THE REST OF US. I think the thing that nobody understands is that it is the hardest thing to think about/worst thing in the world to have to speak of. The damages that it does are forever....It is even harder to think of the cognitive dissonance that my mother chose. There was NO WAY that my mother was unaware. She claims that she didnt know, but as a mom I now know that it was IMPOSSIBLE for her not to know. There were just too many things that just dont make sense. Thank you for putting this out, I appreciate it more then I can tell you.
This woman proves you don't have to be loud, belligerant, vulgar, or cuss to get your point across.
Thank you.
Bill?
And sometimes you need to be loud, belligerent and cuss. Don't judge how others release their pain...damnit.
@Marilyn Willett She has obvi had alot of therapy to deal with her experiense and feelings. Alot of people don't. Don't have the money too or don't feel like they have the strength to do so. And they are boiling with emotions, I'm sure they/we would love to be able to sound like this awesome lady. Try not to judge the delivery of victims/survivors.
She talks/speaks beautifully.
To me the best part of her story is where she said It is never too late to be a mother. So she lets any such mothers, who are willing to be mothers and not go into denial, see that saying they are deeply sorry for the incest to their child, can be an incredibly worthwhile thing to do for their relationship. Otherwise there will be no true relationship, and love will not have won.
Yes,it's never too late to start validating your adult children's experience.
This is an amazing story of a most courageous, beautiful and eloquent woman! Marilyn, I congratulate you on living your truth and, in doing so, helping so many others. May God continue to bless you on your journey!
So glad she found a compassionate husband and in-laws!
Same.
Amazing woman. I am so sorry for what you endured. Both your parents failed you. I am so very glad you had a wonderful husband and that your in-laws were so supportive.
Can you believe some people didn’t believe her until her sister came forward & they wonder why people don’t tell & the predators play on this . Let’s make it safe for those hurt to speak
Thank you for speaking out Marylin! Perpetrators are the ones who should feel guilty, they are the ones who do horrific things! Why victims feel ashamed? This is not right! All darkness should be brought to light - it's time to get rid of it now!
I am so sorry for you .God loves you so much .he will pay one day .you or so sweet. 😂❤
I have always known that also. They are/were to busy living their full life!!!
I’m commenting today 4 years after your beautiful comment. Goes to show how time can stand still!!!
In ways we wish it didn’t.
💗
Beautiful lady inside and out. She’s like an Angel and inspiration for many man and women all over the world victims of evil people, “it’s never late to tell someone” sadly those perpetrators, most of the time are relatives.
She was keynote speaker at a Counseling Conference I attended and she did have us stand, which I was one of, then my friends and others layed hands on us and prayed over us. So healing. Romans 8:28
Priceless beauty full of grace, light, strength and wisdom
Marilyn says , " To tell someone , when you begin your journey " . I did . Tried to tell two close female family members (that I trusted) . They called me , "CrAzY" . A Liar . Told me I was Insane ; and , needed to be committed . I was Crushed . The only other people I told were : my husband , my Mother-in-law , and a Therapist . I am 45 yrs old . And , those feelings are resurfacing . I am in the place that Marilyn is speaking about . 45 - 50 yrs old . The hard times .
I have been molested by my 3 years older cousin through the ages 5-10. When I was young, I thought that what has happened to me was 'normal'. Much later, when I was at college I realized that what have happened to me was anything than normal. I confided to my mother last year and she was shocked but I don't think she could fully understand what I was and probably still am going through. She said something like 'you were both children and didn't know what you were doing' but the problem was that I DID NOT DO anything. It was him! Not me!
I see my cousin from time to time, he is married but I could never like him and still can not. He does not like me, he never liked me. I didn't do anything wrong to him, yet he dislikes me! I have all the right to hate him but he does not!! My mother tried to give forward following explanation: Your cousin comes from a broken home, parents divorced, father later died in a car crash - THTA'S why he probably acted weird. 'WEIRD'???? I was just crusched and I swear that I will never opened up this subject to anyone anymore. I felt tlike I was not taken serious and as if I was exaggerating this whole situation - which I do not! Anyways, any kind of sexual abuse encounter leaves a deep scar and I know that I need to take professional counseling at some point....
oh dear, I am so sorry that you have to go through such a horrible story....
two months ago my 21 years old son came and told me that the neighbour boy who was 5 years older raped him a few times when hi was 6 years old...I was and still am so shocked about it...We were crying together so much. He started with therapy, I am glad that this memory came back to him, because he had two years of deep depression. For me it is a hard pill to swallow that I couldnt protect him and I cant understand why I never found out about this, to think that my little boy had to be alone with this hurts me so much...
I hope you can get compassion from someone else than your mother, at least I will send you from here a huge hug full of love and understanding♥️
I bet your cousin is abusing his kids too
I too am so sorry for what happened to you but more so the way yr mother has betrayed you on top of all that..
Gosh us parents can do such alot of damage by our ill used words & lack of compassion & motherly care n love!!
Well guess what, you have shared again..here..so, well done to you.
Of course it was not your fault & i think you should make your mother understand yr story once more. And when u nxt see yr cousin, u might consider asking him what his problem with u is & tell him how he should be thankful u never told his wife..and that u are not going to tolerate his treatment of u & that u are waiting for an apology. Thats what I reckon.
Im glad it wasnt yr father. But one thing I want to say is this..they raped your body but I didnt touch yr soul..dont you let it!
You share about it more & make yr mum accountable to listen properly & handle with respect toward you! How did she excuse the cousin's behaviour & u let her know youvdidnt share such things just to hear her not have yr back!
She is such a strong courageous woman. Imagine all that she has to endure for so long.
Your inner light shines bright and beautiful for all to see, especially that little night time little girl. She’s not afraid anymore. God Bless You!
smokedoliver1 :m
What a remarkable woman. There is nothing about her that says broken at all. What a beautiful lady inside and out.
Memory Malunga would you have as much respect for her if she was still actually broken? I noticed most people don't have respect for people who are broken. Which is ironic, considering they're willing to worship people who pulled it together. We're all the same people. Just a question worth asking. If she didn't come out in the end this strong, would you still think she was amazing? For having survived at all?
@@ladymaiden2308 so true madam maiden so very true....this woman has been thru hell yet is very glamorous and put together. she deserves admiration....but so do all survivors of this kind of horror as well, no matter their image. she also had a wonderful husband and i know that mustve helped her heal a lot.....so many survivors never get that. in spite of it all she had some help, because of her beauty im sure. she's beautiful inside and out but at the same time, we all know most men are primarily attracted to looks no matter what other attributes a woman may have
Thank you for sharing your story. I've been there myself. I was touched by many boys and men. I hated myself. I tried telling people but it went against me. I was treated like it was my fault. People I would tell my story to turned around and shared my story (not their story to tell. I've left communities to start over several times. I hated people but I hated myself more. I'm 70 and still have issues. I'm married to a wonderful man and have a grown son. They don't judge. Thank you for letting me understand myself a little better. Still the pain will follow me to my grave.
Tearfully yours
Donna
😢
♥️🙏 for you I pray and the other beautiful innocents. You'll be ok. You deserve good things and you'll have them. Be good to yourself too, kind and gentle. ♥️♥️♥️🐦🙏 You are so dear to the Lord.
@@carolcasey5441 Thank you so so so much!
How the hell does a father do this to his own little girl? This is evil evil stuff!!! I can’t imagine the pain these people have to go through every day thinking about what happened!!!
I can understand about repressing memories of major portions of your life. I was so moved by her story. She speaks for so many of us. Thank you.
The points she made about younger teenagers doing it is important .
I hadn't thought of that
Unfortunately many predators start young and then turn into a dirty old man. They never get stopped, and just like Marilyns dad, he was a predator with other kids.
What a truly beautiful lady inside and out! She is such a blessing to so many people and so beautiful and elegant
Even knowing the statistics of CSA doesn’t always give us survivors peace because of the extra shame involved when it’s your own parent. I’ve felt much more isolated because it was my father - the one person who was supposed to protect me - who molested me. It absolutely shatters your sense of being safe in the world. The reason I had to face what was going on, is he apologized to me the next day, obv. feeling guilty for what he had done. It was like my whole world crashed down in one second, and even I couldn’t deny it because he was acknowledging what he had done was wrong. He did apologize one more time when he thought he was dying, and then on his deathbed he confessed to my brother. Did my mother know? I don’t think so, but I have no desire to make her miserable (she’s 96). My bro and I both know he was a monster. My wound healed somewhat with the apology but the scar is always there, but the damage was done - I have had a very hard time trusting men. I have only told one person - my therapist. My husband of 24 years never knew (he passed in 2017). I will never marry again.
Its all very sad..& sadder because you couldn't tell yr husband even..i guess hed have to have known something was amiss because the relationship gets affected one way or another because of our hidden shame & pain.
Do you think your father was sorry though?? He apologised thrice, the 2nd in front of yr brother. ( have I read right?). I know that doesnt make him right but if you could forgive him it might take any bitterness you may have, away.
I know all about unforgivess leading to bitterness..i lived with a mother who was bitter up to 4 yrs ago..shes 90 now. It was awful to be around ..like a poison that harmed her & us children.
What yr dad did will still be wrong but you might get yrself freer.
Also..if u could realize that all humans are born with a sin nature & there is no one who is without.
Yours tho' the worst type I feel..sexual sins against a child!
Helen Roseveare has a good message Id love u to listen to..i think it could help.
Maybe you have been able to help others too as Marilyn has..even just one. I imagine youd be kind & caring of vulnerable.
One thing though..to be molested by a father is a big one to get over..the very 1st male we love & as you say, should be protecting us. Unfortunately, they are not all whole themselves(& may have been touched by the same hand themselves), & do let us down..some more so than others.& some: over n over.
I also let my children down as a mother in many areas.
Im sorry for all youve been through..but you are a survivor..you have spojen out here..well done!
This lady has done the right thing by so many other people. What a woman! What a hero! Marilyn van Derber, you'll never know how many lives you've saved, and will continue to save. Well done and a standing ovation on another topic so difficult for many people to discuss. ❤😊😊
So inspiring!!! Thank you Marilyn Van debur Atler for being a role model for survivors. You mean the world to me. 🙏🏼💐 Jena
I am so happy she found a very kind husband and family in law that supported her.
Please do not trust any males alone with your young daughters, not even doctors or sports coaches, there is no good reason for it. Quite a few women have confided their sexual abuse past to me.
Marilyn Willett don’t leave your sons alone either.
I agree 100%, Ms. Willett. Parents, sitters, and teachers have to be VIGILANT, because lifelong damage can happen in seconds, NO EXAGGERATION, and the pedophiles are vigilant looking for opportunities, both planned and random. And, as Van Derbur pointed out,
________________________________________________
average "mentally healthy" 14 year-old boys are the number 1 perpetrators of childhood sexual abuse--
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(against easy targets like sisters, sister's friends, little sisters of THEIR friends, neighbors, etc.) . Van Derbur's talk took it EASY on 'normal' boys: I have six brothers (we're all 50 - 63 now) and every one of them knew damn well where the line was with me: they'd hit, kick, and cuss at me, throw rocks, but, they did not EVER touch or gawk at or speak about my person in a sexual way, ever, and I am not aware of any training they got from my folks. My normal healthy brothers, older and younger, KNEW because people understand expressions of pain, hurt and confusion, and if I told on them for hitting me, they were getting disciplined. If they had touched me sexually, they would have been severely disciplined, I am sure, but it never even occurred to me that they might ever. Teenage boys KNOW if they are HURTING their little sister or her friends. Your sons, folks, need continual training and reminders of what is okay and consequences, and you birddogging them when they are alone with your daughters to make sure you catch any degree of inappropriate touching, or SNOOPING in her things, or SPYING on her from the closet.
I have a daughter and was vigilant, I protected her from joining a day care at age 2 because I FELT a vibe from the teacher before she started: two months later that teacher's photo was on the front page having abused 2 year-olds IN DIAPERS for several months, over 40 repeat victims. Absolute vigilance is not possible without imprisonment, and we may fail, but we must try. Never let down your guard, never. We may never know, never be told that that one time we let down our guard, our child was abused and they have been terrified by the perpetrator from telling you.
Yes, protect your sons, too, but it's 90% girls who are sexually abused by males. Keep that in mind when as a parent of boys you get offended that 'it's all about girl victims." It's by far and away mostly girl victims. Add your stories about your sons, speak up for them, yes, definitely, but you don't have to 'shove it' in the face of parents of girl victims like 'we don't care' about the boy victims. In our patriarchal society, womens/girls issues, even still with the "Me, too" clarion calls, and "Times up," digging in of our heels, women victims have to fight for space, for acknowledgement of our suffering and loss (example: it was only when the male victims of Keven Spacey came forward and Spacey was IMMEDIATELY reprimanded with losing his jobs that we could see how STILL, men's voices are taken at face value while the dozens of female Bill Cosby victims, and tens of female Harvey Weinstein victims, et al, had to cool their jets while it took WEEKS, MONTHS, and YEARS for those victim stories to merit being considered TRUE, and worthy of national media address, or reprimand of any kind from those perps' business associates and corporate overlords.)
Nowadays hard to trust any sex with a child, sadly. Morality is at a all time low of what’s happening in the world.
We can be pretty confident in keeping 100% focus on men and teenage boys, though. The teensy % of female abusers could multiply by 1,000 incidents per year and our focus on male abusers and ACTUALLY stopping them would be the highest and best use of our time for generations to come, TRAGICALLY. Morality isn't at an all time low, MEN are at an all time EXPOSURE. Their morality is low, and ALWAYS has been in our patriarchal society. Male victims have my complete sympathy and concern, and they are WELCOME to join the fight. Men STANDING UP for women victims would be awesome, where are you guys who were not assaulted but believe, support and stand by all the MILLIONS of little girls and women who are molested? Where is THEIR morality?
Like breast cancer though, which does not KILL men but in tiny numbers, and that is why the AMA does not push mammograms for men, we aren't going to see breast cancer posters in men's locker rooms. Please don't distract from the MUCH LARGER ISSUE. GALACTICALLY LARGER. Thank you.
We know or all should know about sons of course--HOWEVER it is much more common in the lives of little girls.
My brother was almost 14 when he molested me. My mom passed away never knowing. I wasn't close to her. She was on drugs really bad & very abusive. Her father molested her and her sister repeatedly for years until they were adults. They STILL communicated with him before he died. Put it this way.....5 aunts, 5 uncles. All male cousins and uncles including my brother were/perverts that I don't fool with, ever! I moved to a whole new state! There's just way too much to this story. I should wrote a book. Smh😩
Freckled Beauty I’m sure your mom turned to drugs because of what happened to her as a child. I went through the same thing and ended up using drugs in my 40’s. I’m 57 now and look back and I believe I ended up getting addicted to drugs to mask the pain of my childhood.
ZBless your heart. thank you for sharing this.
I'm sorry to hear what happened to you, your brother may have had it done to him, if most of the males in your family where pervs! and thought it was the norm, which we all know isn't,
im sorry that happened to you. I hope you can heal from it 1 day if you have not
@@lepen4652he was 14 not 4! he is responsible for whaT he did. to hell with your excuses
Thank you for your courage & compassion. God bless your personal & private life.
Healing is beautiful.
This is the most important interview I have ever seen. Why only 115 thumbs up for this brave woman's truth, and why in God's name 3 thumbs down. . Soul murder , which incest and rape is , must be punishable by death. Marilyn Van Derbur is a SAINT !
factsaregrand yes!! Perfectly said.
Thank you, Marilyn ... for sharing 'Your TRIUMPH over shame.'
Thank you for making this Video I think it will help so many people. You are an inspiration! I was molested by my father from three to five. I innocently told my mother she took my three brothers and I from Alaska to Seattle. I somehow knew the divorce was my fault...or believed it was. As a young adult I was different. Not interested in men. Sadly I went into therapy to find out why and was sexually abused by him! I never married and have no trust in men. Watching your story and seeing your courage is so uplifting! Thank you. 🙏
woow great that your mom believed you most moms would not and deny out of thier own fear.its not a matter of winning over darkness but heal it reveal it no self judgment which was never yours and the world changes for ever.
Now go expose that therapist, if you can! I'm so sorry!
I think there needs to be a support group for people who have not been sexually abused but are tramatized by knowing their friends have. My best childhood friend was abused and her daughter was abused. I tried to intervene, but the denial took over and we cannot communicate. I realize now after watching this that she was too young, but I'm still mad that she didn't do more to protect her daughter. And I'm mad that I can't forgive.
it triggers everyones anger which needs to be healed blame and guilt never stoped this darkness but fed it.
Oh my heart. For some reason hearing these stories told by these elegant beautiful older ladies just breaks my heart.
we should all be just half as humble and courageous.
You are such a courageous woman with a beautiful soul. Thank you so much for sharing your story and helping so many people to heal and to let go of their shame. Bless you.
So many people have kept the secret of abuse😨so very sad.
Marylin Van Derbur you are an incredibly strong and admirable woman. Thank you for sharing this, I am sure it will help many people.
We have to tell and NEVER stop telling. If our fathers, grandfather's, brothers, cousins think we'll tell, they'll back off or serve prison time!
sisters,mothersn aunts are predators too. please teach kids that!
More beautiful now than ever... Also, your youth minister was your angel, Marilyn!
I'm now 51, I've had to learn to like me. Through the years I had always felt like I was alien. Different. Till others shared there horrible stories. It's cathartic to tell.
And helps the healing process.
You are a beautiful person. Thank you for shining a light on this.
I have always thought her story is so heartbreaking!! Anyone who hurts a child is evil, the worst thing to me is sexual assault of a child!! I have thanked God many times I did not go through that horror. This woman is awesome and has helped so many people, she is truly doing Gods work here on earth. Thank you for telling your story as hard as it may have been. A true blessing!! God help you all
I am still screaming in my head and I am 63
I'm so sorry.
Oh Denise 💔 my heart hurts for you.. I’m sending you all the love I have💗💗💗
Thank you so much for opening your heart to others that have been abused. I was fortunate that I didn’t have to go through and the pain you went through 😢😢😢❤❤
Hurt people, from every strata of society, hurt others.
Many go to their graves with their secrets of their abuse.
Kudos to Ms. Marilyn for helping with the healing!!
Oh, I am absolutely stunned! My older brother inappropriately touched me when I was eight years old and he was only 11. I repressed that memory for 32 years! And then there were more perpetrators amongst whom my 30 year old nephew when I was 16. It is both upsetting and comforting to know that this happens frequently. I never heard this before. The aftermath of all that has happened to me is huge. My adrenal glands don’t work properly anymore because of the severe stress, and because of that, I lost most of my eyesight 2 1/2 years ago. I’m on disability. But I am glad to be Dutch because in this country things are organized better for people like me, although never perfect of course. Now you see your braveness has done many many people good.
Thank you Marylin Van DerBur, you're a light that touches many hearts, mine included. I'm not a survivor, but I've met 2 people in my life that shared their heart wrenching stories with me. One of them was the daughter of a leader in a Satanic Church in Holland. She had to participate in a ritual killing of 2 adults when she was young. With great courage and perseverance she managed to escape her family and stay alive.
She chose to teach herself to detox from the effect of post hypnotic programming in her brain, which tried to convince her that she should kill herself. That's the fortification around these cults using black magic. Once you're out, your life is in danger and you're cursed by all who stay inside. No contact, no life sign, as if one ceases to exist.
Affection and withdrawal of affection, plus torture, at a very young age creates a fragmented personality and this form of mind-control creates people who can live a normal life, with a successful career and friendships, even contributing to the community. At the same time they're able to participate in secret gatherings, where consciousness altering substances are provided, allowing members to perform extreme behaviour. Once they wake up next morning, the normal life mode is switched on again.
The woman, who was a mother of 2 kids, she had her son with her when we met, told me (we spoke English so that her son didn't follow the conversation) that she was frequently taken from her bed at night and brought to a private air-plane by car, to visit gatherings. After she escaped she needed many years to heal and recover, coming to terms with that horrific past. She met her future husband who.... lo and behold... escaped from a similar family background and they found great comfort in understanding one another, started a family together and now raise 2 children.
The mother expressed her concern about the choice of school for her children. She told me that large school institutes in Holland are in great competition with each other, drawing pupils to their school and manipulating the graduation results, in order to receive funding. Due to that need, headmasters also accept large sums from certain people who are involved in pedophile practices, bringing schoolchildren to certain venues, under the pretence that they will enjoy a special activity outside the school.
These school children are programmed in the same manner, to prevent them from talking about these activities. Holland and Belgium are the 2 countries where most human trafficking takes place. By now, some of you may shake their heads in disbelief and maybe shock, reading this long comment of mine. Believe me, when I listened to this mother, my body wanted to run away and be done with it. My heart told me to stay and share my feelings, which I did, in tears. The mother fully accepted this and understood. She was a very wise mature woman, after her visit to hell and escape from it.
This conversation, which happened in 2014, has changed me and by listening to your story I've found a deeper understanding of how it is to be a survivor and what living in shame means. Thank you, may your work be blessed and may your heart beat strong for yourself and others who dare to open their heart again to themselves.
If I didn't know of friends who are Pastors who spent years, weeks at a time opening their home to a victim of something similar (I don't know all the story so if I say not as gruesome I could be wrong, but her privacy was respected by them) then I would have rolled my eyes in incredulous disbelief. But I do and so can believe what you are sharing. They learnt about SRA (satanic ritual abuse) to help her and they did help her but it involved the super natural very powerfully. Thank you for being there for your friend. It's so hard to believe such incredible human ugliness exists. As a christian it sure makes more real the battle between darkness and light. God Bless you.
Thank you, Yonnie68, in a way it's comforting to know that you know too and so are more in the know, I'm sure. I remember how I felt when I said goodbye to the mother who shared her dramatic life-story with me. For the time I did my shopping in the city where I lived, I was in turmoil, processing the intensity of that meeting. My imagination ran away with me, for I felt as if there were underground tunnels connecting to secret places for these Satanic Rituals, under my feet. It took me a couple of days to digest all of it, so to speak. To me, the condition on planet Earth with forces of light and darkness, is a learning curve in consciously choosing and to experience the harvest of what I sow. The fruit of understanding, also in making new choices... until I learn.
I have a friend who had the same experiences on an altar at the age of 3, and continued in her childhood.
Another, a man, who was sodomized with objects growing up.
They both suffered from huge scar tissue damage though adulthood.
And a little girl who's older brother was sneaking into her bed at night from 14 till he left.
And a girl who's dad and uncle snuck into her bed until it came out and a lock was installed on her bedroom door. Subtle way to tell them to leave her alone.
It's so hard to talk about that it's hard for the other half of yourself to feel safe to be honest.
Marian B....That is one powerful message Marian & truly scares me. I am glad not to have small children in my family now because I am sure things like this still happen. We live in such an evil world.
Oh god, what an amazing woman. At last she found peace and happiness she so well deserved
What a generous soul to be able to move beyond her shame to help others. I kept my secret for 31 years. You think you had something to do with it, that you did something wrong.
This beautiful lady was once the keynote speaker at a convention I attended. She was most inspiring and an absolute Delight.
thank you so much for sharing! i was not believed....but am always at the ready to listen and hug anyone that is hurting
I'm speechless that she survived. I suffer from depession and I don't think I can survive it I take one day at a time I never thought a person can go through this and survive. I was not an incest victim but the truma of depresss is the same. I thank her for telling her story.
She is the most elegant lady I have ever seen!
You are so lovely and gracious.! Thank you for sharing your story.
omg, she is so beautiful and kind.
I cant imagine...I must be one of the few people who was NOT abused or molested.
Ma'am....you are the epitome of eloquence and class.
You have all my respect. Bravo for your courage and thank you on behalf of all the children who silently undergo the gestures that will largely destroy their confidence and self-love. I was abused and raped I was only 13 and got pregnant at 15. My mother was not there for me she was absent she especially did not want to speak with me because she knew to be responsible also in part. Thank you, thank you for putting words in to awaken young people and tell them that they have power. thank you for the mission that you once decided to take on, well done. Thank you Jo from Quebec
About the shame..what you are saying is absolute, sterling truth! After her mother's death when she was a young teen, my adoptive mother was molested by one of her younger brothers (who were all older than she). Because she could not live safely in her own home any longer, she spent her teen years living with relatives. It was not discussed...ever. The whole family knew about it but refused to acknowledge it so I had no place to go when the going got rough. My adoptive mother was an absolute monster to me...I could never trust her, ever. She would not discuss her issues with me but continued to abuse me verbally, mentally and emotionally. (She also abused my adoptive brother, his wife and my son, as well.) When she died at the age of 84, I was so relieved. (I think we all were!) Thankfully, my adoptive father loved me a lot and supported me when I really needed it! So incest can be the gift that keeps on giving if a survivor lives in denial and vents his or her tortured emotions on his or her family.
Thank you For coming through for all of us that have gone through this painful situation, I was sexually abused by my 3 cousins, I has only 5 and it when through it till I was 12.
What a brave brave person you are!
May the Father and Creator of heaven and earth bless you dear one💕
Think how many incest victims Marilyn's open ,courageous disclosure has helped liberate and bring healing to. .Bless you Marilyn, for your courage and leadership.You are a true inspiration!
She is such an amazingly beautiful woman!
The Lord turned her tragedy into strength and her suffering to help thousands of women AND men find their strength!!! She is a blessing to so many
❤i was sexually assaulted at 4 by a female babysitter. Your testimony is lovely, how you have held to the grace and faith in yourself and others AND with such wisdom. I also thank you from the bottom of my heart for your work as a beautiful young lady and woman. A mountain in my recovery is reclaiming my voice as well as my beauty, always struggling with words and what I am supposed to look like. Elegant, lovely, safe and kind. I am enjoying a season of success as i become more skilled in sharing the blessings in being a beautiful woman and child of God. Withoit women like you, I never could have envisioned such strength, resilience, and love together
I mean no disrespect by what I am going to say here, so here it is. I find it quite strange that she shakes her head "no" while she is saying how proud she is of herself. It is heartbreaking to see because I have been taught that this means she does not really believe what she is saying when she says one thing, yet her body is saying the opposite. It's like she still struggles to believe she is the incredible, strong woman that she is. I do understand however, because when we go through this type of abuse, there is always that night time child lurking around every corner, just waiting for an opportunity to steal your joy.
Marylin, you can believe what are saying because it is true. You have overcome what I believe is the hardest thing in life that any of us can ever have to face. I am so proud of you and the workyou are doing to help the rest of us to find healing and empowerment. You are so very inspirational. I thank GOD for you and the courage and strength He has given you to go out there and be who He has called you to be. I am amazed at how GOD gives us "beauty for ashes". I love you, you dear precious woman, and I love that little girl part of you who was so traumatized. If you were here right now I would hold that little girl and tell her she has been so brave and so strong and we are all so proud of you for telling your story and helping us. Love to you ALWAYS!
With respect to your point of view and encouragement, Unknown Person, I believe that what we're taught of theories and definitions are merely one of many ways of looking at things. Theories are in essence definitions of one single person and they're as valid as yours and mine. Isn't the proof of theories in the pudding of mundane daily life, instead of the other way around?
If you park that what's been taught to you about body language, for 10 seconds outside of your belief-system and than look at Marilyn again (in that moment of her pride) feel what your gut feeling is telling you. To me, the shaking of her head showed her amazed feeling about the transformation she's gone through, arriving at where she is now. Happily surprised.
To me, Marilyn shows a remarkable honesty in the steps she took, plus her paralysis while holding on to terror, for that's all she knew. I've learned a great deal by listening to her story, for I've got to learn compassion for myself and humility in allowing others to be in where they are, no matter how devastating it looks like to me, triggering my need to do good.
I'm realising in my life now, that by my need to end suffering in others I'm co-dependent in affirming my sense of being someone for myself. To realise I'm a sovereign human being. My imagined sense of autonomy (projected on others) is a mirage only. It's a persona I've come to call Mother Superior. She's stepping down from her oratory now, mingling with the people of the street and relieved for having left her solitary existence. My suffering in company with superior feelings, is sublimated by helping others to end theirs and that's a delusion in my present eyes. Auchh.... and hurray..! at the same time. My eyes are open, I'm free now to be able to acknowledge that truth within!
In Marilyn's life, having overcome her mirage of identity creation, with glamour and beauty, choosing to be a public speaker, all that in an isolated position, is an inspiring example of what it means to heal one's autonomy. As I see it, Marilyn learned to feel her heart for herself, so that she can share the treasure that she found in it. Isn't the pearl a treasure, grown after doing an amount of knitty gritty work by the animal in the shell? Marilyn has left her shell and I'm making cracks in mine, by trusting that life can be nurturing when I'm open to receive it ;)
It is normal to shake you head when thinking of something tramatic.
Yes it's one of a definite tells used by body language experts around the world
@@devonseamoor I hope you got an A for that fucking boring dissertation ...this lady is right its used by experts around the world to tell if murder suspects are lying
The crazy bullshit rant must have made her feel awful congrats you old hag
Are you serious lady? Can you show us your Unknown Doctorate in this field? lol I have been taught that anyone who speaks as "unknown" does not exist! lol
Marilyn, Your mother knew. Coming out with the truth, that I believe, is phenomenal. What a living nightmare global sexual violence is. I share as often as I feel moved by GOD to do so. It cuts like a knife how treacherous is the evil, when you tell your story. what a world world what a world. Listening to the numbers of incest survivors is not acceptable, shocking. Thanking God first, how precious a gift, the truth is , it just heals.
her mother may have been afraid of him too. he was an abuser!!!!
I need you in my life. My cousin sent me this video today. I am 65 now “FREE” is still a destination for me.
I think of death more than life. Not suicidal by any means, just like something died in me when I was 4. What would my life had been like if my dad had not been so sick. I am now remarried with 4 children and 2 grandchildren. That is where my happiness it.
Thank you wish we could talk.
Joannesmith…How wonderful that you can talk about it now. I wish you all the best in life. You deserve everything that’s good.
Marylin you are an amazing woman. Thank you.
AND HER MOTHER WAS AWARE THIS WAS GOING ON, REPULSIVE!!!
POLARBEARSRUS i
@@suzannayoung8891 Thank you
Very common.Denial is complex
Yes her mother should not have allowed this to go on..period. like, at all. I know her mother was also upset, blah blah blah blah blah but as soon as you have a child, that's your job. That's your 100% and full and total job. Do your fucking job. Care for your child. That's it, that's all.
I agree. That’s how it was then though. Idk why. Well I do. But it doesn’t make it any better. But I don’t judge anyone. I cant
She can be so proud of herself. Wonderful woman. Great
The eyes tell stories. I look at the photo of her father and I can tell he was evil. There's a certain look in a predator or criminal person. One need to learn recognize. I am so sorry for the life of this beautiful woman. She's not the only one. It's more common than a naive person can understand. It happens all over the world, to different races and culture. Some people become possessed by the evil of sexual lust.
I said the exact same thing that her father's pictures just give me a horrible feeling inside
I love how you are holding your head up high! Thank you for being an inspiration to other chidren facing horrific physical, emotional and psychological abuse.
You are a beautiful hero! Thank you for all you have done for survivors
Dearest Marlin, thank you for speaking out!
You are beautiful, wise and God sent to many of us.
I'm a father to 2 girls, and your testimony and words here mean a lot to me.
I'm sending you a big hug as I'm feeling your words.
On behalf of the "good" men, I wish to extend love, respect and appreciation to our children and women.
That's exactly what I taught my children - " your privates- no one touches it, unless you are hurt and BOTH your parents approve"
I've felt shame for being groomed online, I ended up willingly showing myself on cam, to 2 different guys. But the worst guy was living in England. I had actually felt love for him. From age 13 till age 16, and I ended up saying something at 17. Nothing happened to him, but eventually he was caught because he and his girlfriend had raped a girl in his flat, and the police found hundreds of child porn on his computer.
I feel embarrassed still that I exposed myself and fell for it. But to be honest, I was just very young and naive. He knew what he was doing, he groomed me and other girls into doing what he wanted.
You have nothing to feel embarrassed about! Thank you for sharing your story! Just as you said, you were young and naive. Please ask God or whomever you believe in to have this removed from you! Love & Blessings
@@bonnielucas1941 thank you ❤️. I think I can finally move on from it, not long after posting this comment, I remembered details and why I first showed him anything, cried it out, which was something I hadn't done before. I have knowledge now about this kind of thing, which I can teach my girls about whenever they end up online. If my experience keeps them from the same thing, then it's probably a good thing in a way that I learned the hard lesson, instead of them having to.
Sorry to hear this. Hope you are getting the help you deserve. The internet is this great mystery that we are all learning by the day. Don't feel ashamed.
Ashenicky2009 Don’t feel bad. You did not know predators, the lowest of low are out there. I constantly tell kids when I see them do not talk to strangers on the internet. I tell them not to tell people any personal info about themselves. Don’t worry we don’t think bad of you, we think bad of the predators that did that.
Marilyn Van Derbur....It is such a devastating thing to happen. Which is why women must be allowed an equal role with their husbands so they can talk and debate as equals. You mother never had the courage to stand up for her child. You are a brave woman and a beautiful accomplished one too. God Bless you!
Thank you for sharing this! Thank you for your courage!