The Courage To Be Disliked: Three Key Lessons (Book Summary)
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- Опубліковано 14 лют 2021
- The Courage To Be Disliked: How to free yourself, change your life and achieve real happiness by Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga. Listen to the book for free with audible: amzn.to/2YZnlXt
Let's break down the biggest lessons in one of my favourite books: The Courage to be Disliked. Let's talk about how the teachings of a psychologist 120 years ago can help us live a happier life now in the 21st century.
The book takes the form of a conversation between an old philosopher and a young man, as they debate Adler's theories.
Before we jump in, a small caveat! The book follows the teachings of Alfred Adler, an Austrian doctor and psychologist, and the authors of this book clearly have bought into Adlerian psychology as absolute. I am much more of a pick-and-mixer when it comes to schools of philosophy, and think you should take what is useful to you from as many sources as you'd like! I hope you enjoyed this book summary/ book review. I think it's an awesome book and would recommend anyone watching to give it a read!
Get the book here: amzn.to/3rApzcb
Get the free audiobook: amzn.to/2YZnlXt
It's also currently FREE on kindle with prime: amzn.to/3a1oh3S
---- Who am I? ----
I am Connor, a fourth year medical student at King's College London.
I make videos on studying, medical school and lifestyle. New UA-cam videos go up every Monday! Check out my blog [doctordibblin.com/] for tips on applying to medicine.
---- Social Media ----
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#TheCourageToBeDisliked #AlfredAdler #ConnorDibblin
You have a really nice voice but the music is really distracting and stressful for those who struggle with peripheral noises.
That’s such a lovely complement thank you! I will take that in board with the music, thank you for pointing it out. Anything in particular that would improve it? Just less in general or a different type?
Some learners just prefer no music at all, listening solely to the main message instead.
Yeah, I second that. It seems whenever You tubers make a poll about it, the majority of people want the music. But, for the people who have some impediment or challenge, it makes it stressful to listen to the podcast.
A good compromise could be a much lower volume. You could maybe try to find one of your annoying friends or family member who hates noise and have them as a test subject.
Also, try listening to your video on crappy earphones, old laptops with bad sound systems, while riding a bus on a crappy road, etc. It's a different experience. Might give you some insight into sound clarity.
Just suggestions! Thank you for the video, and indeed, love your voice!!!!
I like the music
@@ConnorDibblinjust no music please thanks
Best book review coz I haven’t seen a book reviewer getting straight into the points and explaining it well without telling their own stories. U did it well . Thank you
Thanks so much!
Perhaps the best review of the book available on UA-cam. Thank you. 🌻
That’s so kind! Thanks Arghya! 😁
I'm excited to have discovered your channel. I can already see several books that I've read on here, so I'm hoping I'll get even more recommendations!
Thanks so much for your comment Betty!
Wow, just found out about your channel and video today. This is such a great video and super helpful. Keep going and making great content like these. You have a great voice. The UA-cam algorithm will eventually show your video to others like me, who just found out about your channel today.
Thank you so much Anand, that is so kind! Ia there any other topic you’d like me to cover on the channel?
I love this Book! I cry at the end of this Book ❤️ Bless you all❤️
Great summary - thank you mate! 😊
My pleasure!
good review. thank you for sharing.
Thanks so much! 🥰
Great channel mate !!
I am halfway through this book myself and I believed you have explained the best takeaways in this book so perfectly and honestly !
Subscribed to your channel, keep the videos coming :)
Thank you SO MUCH Akhil, honestly it’s amazing to receive comments like this! Is there anything in particular you’d like to see from me in the future?
@@ConnorDibblin I’ve watched a few of your videos just then and I love the notion tutorials !!
It sounds like you can make some more similar videos for practical study methods and how you use your devices and applications to do effective study with your med school and your self development journey… eg. how to apply, take notes, lessons from books you have read.
Also another idea may be a video on how you organise and use your devices efficiently to make the most out of them and how others can put in place similar processes that you take to balance your life and stay productive !
Finally since I know that you’ve read the courage to be disliked and I am really happy I searched for your video as I was trying to find someone else who related to the lessons that this book taught… I am sure you have read many other books I may be interested in so you can possibly do more book reviews
It may be a lot but all of this would really grow your channel !!
Brilliant video, straight to the point. How have you best implemented these teachings into Your daily life? I often find I eventually forget to incorporate teachings like these daily.
It is definitely SO easy to learn a great lesson from somewhere and then entirely forget to implement any of it! I think the main lesson I have taken from this book and other similar books is that the world is not a zero-sum game. If I win and you win, that's two wins. One person's success does not need to mean another person's failure.
This is awesome, thank you!
Thank you! Any other book you’d like a video on?
Hi, thanks for the review. The book is not "strictly" Adlerian in that Adler's principles come from the philosophical stream of Buddhism and the Asceticism of Marcus Aurelius. (which themselves are so similar already). What I liked was that Adler did not write a lot of books, preferring to be dialectical, and the book mirrors this Socratic method. I know so many NEET's who could use this book.
That’s really interesting to know! Thank you so much for your comments!
I just started listening to this book and definitely noticed “the reek of zen” ;) throughout. I am enjoying it so far and would recommend to others interested in Zen/Daoism
Thank you for sharing, I see style as a signature we put into the world.
You are so welcome!
Great video!!!
Thank you so much!
Thanks for the share mate, it made me think. However, you've misunderstood the book fundamentally - you can't just disagree with the main point that trauma doesn't exist and then pick and choose other points: this is exactly what he says according to Adler when people fail to see the whole, but pick parts of the truth they can agree with. I really am in love with the book too and hope you keep posting more reviews. Good luck!
Thanks for the comment Xen!
This book is Amazing I’ve listen to this audiobook 3 days in a row I learn that my trauma is in past and isn’t real
Life is competetive. Nd everybody either feels inferior or superior at something. The key to not becoming a monster is to allow others to feel and be superior sometimes and also allow urself to be superior over others sometimes. Whenever this balance gets thrown off that's when conflict arises
That's very insightful
March 21,2021 thank you excellent video, teaching content lighting etc
Thank you!
Awesome review! ❤😮 My problem when i read these books is that i believe in anything it is said
Great video 👍, I’m currently reading the book. It was a bit distracting, but I really like the background music. What was the name of the song?
Sorry about that, I'm still pretty new to the world of editing and at the time of making this video was even more so! The louder song is "Know Myself - Patrick Patrikios"
I need to make time for a second read through soon. Great breakdown. I also couldn't accept the non existing trauma bit. But still, very eye opening book
Yeah I think it has some great lessons and some important things to think about. But also you have to take it with a pinch of salt, it's really just one person's thoughts and opinions.
@@17chains o.O yea pretty confrontational, you'd be right. But hey, it's the Internet! Sympathy and pity only comes into play, if at all, if a person actively goes about telling people about their past trauma, which I think most people with trauma do not. It's mostly an internal struggle, thus why some people go to therapy and have therapists struggle to get the story out of them. My answer is actually pretty simple though, some things just take time to think about, acceptance of anything can take time, and one single philosophy may not work for everyone. But that's what makes it interesting I think.
Fantastic
Thank you so much!
Awesome
Thanks so much mate! I'm really glad you enjoyed the video!
hell yeah. you never hear about Adler. He was so under rated in the psych hall of fame.
Past trauma is a tool to be wielded for one purpose or another, quietly or loudly.
Good content, absolutely unneeded Music!
Appreciate the feedback thank you!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I was missing that distinction of nuances in different situations according to Adlerian Psychology and it seemed a bit black and white thinking at times (not reflecting reality accurately). Still, I appreciate the book and like most of it's ideas.
Sounds like we had similar thoughts about the book! Any other book recommendations?
Thank you for this!
I am getting so annoyed about the authors calling anxious people manipulative!! I'm like, FOR WHAT?! Anxious people don't ALWAYS get attention and people telling them that their anxiety is their fault makes them seem more like an @$$hole when they say, "But you haven't validated my pain before throwing a solution at me making it seem like you actually just don't care!" But maybe instead they yell, "UGH!! NEVERMIND!" LOL and the onlooker thinks, 'well they don't actually want a solution'
I'm betting anxiety was not that well understood when this was written.
SO! I agree completely with you the whole "trauma doesn't exist", I cannot not not get on board with and yet I thought, "Hmm, I create my life is a good message. Let me keep listening and distil some of this for myself." I almost stopped tho cuz calling anxiety a tool for gain was... :-S. SO anywayyyy thanks for this video Connor!!
(Also, Indigenous schools of thought where I live think of children and comradery the way it's described in this book.)
That's a really interesting point thank you for commenting!
Good video
Thanks dude!
This book is wonderful! Excited to hear your thoughts on it!
Thank you! Yeah I really loved reading it. I have to be honest, I hadn’t heard of Adler before the book!
@@ConnorDibblin Yes same here! Really changed my perspective on happiness!
Absolutely! Any other similar books you would recommend?
@@ConnorDibblin "The Art of Happiness"- by the Dalai Lama is really insightful, and also the "The Happiness Hypothesis" by Jonathan Haidt is also a nice analysis of positive psychology along with philosophical wisdom. I found that one to be really mind-opening into Happiness theories. There are also some great books to do with Stoicism... like "How to be a stoic?" by Massimo Pigliucci, which is like a nice beginner's guide to embedding stoic philosophy into daily life. Your videos, on the whole, are very interesting, and it's really awesome, that you're including book reviews, that are philosophical, especially during these times.
Thanks for much for the recommendations, I'll check them out, particularly the Stoicism book. That is so kind, I'm very glad you've enjoyed my videos so far!
My interpretation was that it didn't conclude with "trauma doesn't exist" but rather it is not the cause but the meaning you give it is, therefore it is artificial.
Imma Subscribe!
👏 👏 👏
Thank you for this useful summary.
You're very welcome!
Great great!! Top Work!
Thank you! Cheers!
One of the most important book that changed my life
That's amazing! I really enjoyed reading this book and filming the video! What was your biggest takeaway from the book?
I felt like I was the youth in the book. Have you been able to have more long lasting changes in your life?
I do feel like the lesson of realising you have no power over another persons opinions, and the lesson that you have your own expectations which no one else has to live up to have really allowed me to let go of negative emotions
I have recently started reading books Currently reading Psychology of money any other book which you want to recommend..
That sounds interesting I haven’t read it yet!
I enjoyed atomic habits and the chimp paradox. More money focussed would be Your money your life.
I also think everyone should read being mortal by Atul Gawande
Measurable flaws comes with when you are not trying ,if you are trying those flaws will disappear eventually,nobody is perfect at the birth neither at the end that itself says everyone has their own path
I think when he says trauma doesn't exist he is actually trying to state that:
Trauma A doesn't equal reaction B.
That though something may happen to two people exactly the same their reaction to it may be polar opposites!
You yourself create the reaction to the stimulus their for the trauma does not need to change you negatively unless you choose.
Perfect mate, loved it. If only you could slow it down a bit, your narration is too fast so much so that I have to hit rewind and listen again even with subtitles on, maybe just me, don't know. Thanks all the same and good luck.
Thanks for the tip!
Video starts at 0:32
Hi bro. Should I first read how to be dislike or how to be happy?
Hey larc! I'll be honest with you, How to be happy has been sitting on my reading list for months and months, and I haven't gotten round to reading it yet! 😅 I will of course me making a video about it once I have read it and digested it
If you end up reading it before I do, please let me know what you think if it!
The music was distracting and the editing was too jumpy. I could do with some more breathing. Otherwise, thank you for making this :)
Noted!
Okay
If only I had a dreamy voice, then I could have a youtube channel, and then people would like me!
Thank you for the compliment! I'm sure you have a lovely voice!
🔥 🎯 👍 🎯 🔥
Can you do a version without the music please
Unfortunately I can't as I don't have the original footage anymore! But, I will take what you've said on about the music and hopefully future videos will be less distracting!
The music was annoying but loved the vid and the review
That seems to be a common comment, thank you for the feedback! Hopefully if you checkout some of my more recent videos you’ll see an improvement 💪
Do you review any book?
I've only done a couple so far (Chimp Paradox is the other) but would love to do more! Any suggestions?
@@ConnorDibblin I will send you my book. Just finished last night
@@angelmaldonadosworld3639 oh congratulations!
I'm dabblin in Dibblin
It’s now free on UA-cam. I discovered by accident.
Oh awesome!
Sorry. But the music is really distracting.
Thank you for the feedback! I’m still wrapping my head around editing, so you will see in improvement I promise!
“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” Carl Jung
🫂🌎🫂sharing🫂thankYOU
Turn off that annoying noise in the background. And slow down!
Thanks for the feedback! Unfortunately, I can't turn it off once it is in the video, but I will make sure it is less overwhelming in the next one