Letting Go of Control

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  • Опубліковано 27 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 95

  • @tonidarko8410
    @tonidarko8410 3 роки тому +6

    You speak in an academic way. For some reason i find this easier to understand maybe because i am used to university education. Thanks for this.

    • @DougsDharma
      @DougsDharma  3 роки тому +7

      😄Well, I guess it's my PhD speaking ... glad you found the approach helpful!

  • @nelsoncarson2465
    @nelsoncarson2465 2 роки тому +6

    I benefit greatly from going regularly temple and learning directly from the monks. That said, I also enjoy the spin you put on the teachings… very palatable for me, the lay practitioner 🙏

    • @DougsDharma
      @DougsDharma  2 роки тому

      Glad to hear it, Nelson. Yes, I enjoy learning from monastics as well.

  • @photistyx
    @photistyx 5 років тому +19

    Fantastic talk! It really gets to the heart of it, and in a pragmatic way. An expression I like in this regard is, "Don't take yourself too personally."

    • @DougsDharma
      @DougsDharma  5 років тому +1

      Excellent expression photoistyx. Agreed! 🙂

    • @davidchrist1037
      @davidchrist1037 2 роки тому +1

      @@DougsDharma graveyards are full of people that took themselves too seriously. Big heads and ego can get
      You in trouble. It happened to my brother in laws. One was shot Dead, the other arrested for brandishing a 9mm at a hamburger joint.

  • @angelmaria3361
    @angelmaria3361 Рік тому +1

    I really enjoy this channel because this person feels like the less judgemental person in the world. Thank you 🤍

    • @DougsDharma
      @DougsDharma  Рік тому +1

      🙏😊
      I do make many judgments but practice not to take any but a few of them too seriously. It is a practice!

  • @FernandaFerreira-eo6sp
    @FernandaFerreira-eo6sp 2 роки тому +1

    Wonderful!!!! Thanks a lot!

  • @stevevest7206
    @stevevest7206 4 роки тому +2

    What I take from this is an example of how the Buddha taught to deal with the issues of the world.

    • @DougsDharma
      @DougsDharma  4 роки тому

      Yes I think that's right Steve, thanks!

  • @sln5968
    @sln5968 4 роки тому +3

    Thank you Doug:)

  • @swengappuli
    @swengappuli 5 років тому +12

    Thank you Doug for a great explanation of a complex subject. As always enjoy your videos very much. Thanks again

    • @DougsDharma
      @DougsDharma  5 років тому

      You're very welcome Shantha. Thanks for the kind message! 🙏

    • @davidchrist1037
      @davidchrist1037 2 роки тому

      @@DougsDharma You're gifted my brother in speaking well and keeping
      It light and understandable. Namasta

  • @rosemaryfrew5571
    @rosemaryfrew5571 2 роки тому +1

    Thank you.

  • @soundhealingbygene
    @soundhealingbygene Рік тому

    It may be sad but it is also mostly true, that being the following: Social Constructs lead to Social Conditioning, Social Conditioning leads to Social Control in one way or another. Again well spoken Doug

  • @petercriscuolo3090
    @petercriscuolo3090 5 місяців тому +1

    Thanks!

  • @stephenrizzo
    @stephenrizzo 3 роки тому +4

    Buddhists make a big deal out of impermanence and it’s connection to not-self, probably because of the concept of atman in the culture, but as a westerner unwilled or undirected thought really drives it home. Descartes said “I think therefore I am”, but what should we make of thought that comes out of nowhere during meditation? I remember thinking “where did that come from?” When it happened to me the first time.

    • @DougsDharma
      @DougsDharma  3 роки тому

      Yes! Unwilled thought is a big thing, and we don't tend to be aware of it until we start meditating.

    • @powpow9560
      @powpow9560 2 місяці тому

      "I think therefor I am" is fundamentally incorrect. The saying itself implies duality. The phrase should go "I am, therefor I can think"

  • @chriskaplan6109
    @chriskaplan6109 2 роки тому +2

    This subject has been at the fore in my practice recently, and I found this talk approachable, educational, and practical. Gave me new perspective on some questions that had been vexing me. Thanks!

    • @DougsDharma
      @DougsDharma  2 роки тому +1

      My pleasure, Chris. Thanks for watching. 🙏

  • @autodidacticasaurus
    @autodidacticasaurus Рік тому +1

    This was excellent!

  • @shantanushekharsjunerft9783
    @shantanushekharsjunerft9783 4 роки тому +4

    There was a stretch of time in 2017 when I was practicing daily for almost 1.5 hours. The states of mind I accessed were beautiful. However, this ability to meditate and access these mental stares daily paradoxically reinforced the sense of self within and got me anxious when the mind would not cooperate. It was humbling experience to see lack of control in a seemingly well trained mind.

    • @DougsDharma
      @DougsDharma  4 роки тому +2

      Yes, I found something similar when I was meditating for longer periods. It's possible to get attached to one's own achievements, or even supposed achievements.

    • @Anna-mv9ew
      @Anna-mv9ew 2 роки тому

      It's similar to a well trained dog. She's so well tempered, smart and trained in a proper way, but actually she's still a separate being with its own needs and aspirations, how strange it is, that our own mind fits so close in that description: some have an untrained mind, some cannot comfort it when it's not okay, others forget that it should have some freedom on its own..

    • @middlewayers
      @middlewayers 2 роки тому

      Meditations are the distractions of Mara..do not take pleasure in any stage of Mediation..do not compromise...
      Go all the way towards Extinguisment..

  • @chriskaplan6109
    @chriskaplan6109 2 роки тому

    one of the best talks yet. thank you for sharing this in a practical and approachable way.

  • @jillianspofford4165
    @jillianspofford4165 3 роки тому +4

    Would love if you had a podcast! Really enjoy listening to you!

    • @DougsDharma
      @DougsDharma  3 роки тому +1

      Thanks Jillian, very kind of you to say!

  • @ConexionHumanaOficial
    @ConexionHumanaOficial 5 років тому +2

    Thanks a lot my great teacher. I really appreciate you share your knowledge. Evangelina Cortes.

  • @dromgarvan
    @dromgarvan 3 роки тому +2

    A clear explanation, thank you!

  • @AnattaAnattata
    @AnattaAnattata 3 роки тому +1

    สาธุ!...อนุโมทามิ🙏🙏🙏

  • @michaelbraden8279
    @michaelbraden8279 4 роки тому +16

    Didn’t think my browsing would land me at the Pali Cannon. Like hearing a great grad school lecture.

    • @DougsDharma
      @DougsDharma  4 роки тому +1

      Glad to hear it Michael! Welcome.

    • @coldhart79
      @coldhart79 4 роки тому +2

      What makes me here is kinda funny... I was watching, "was there a real jesus?"
      Out of curiosity after watching the prompted documentary on my UA-cam, I search to see whether anyone makes a documentary on was there a real Buddha(?) I am a Buddhist and just want to see is there anyone got their say(badl) on Buddhism. So I got here and become a subscriber. Never got to see doubts, but yet got bonus watching Doug's videos.
      Appreciate 🙏🙏🙏

    • @coldhart79
      @coldhart79 4 роки тому

      Everything happens for a reason. Maybe Buddha guide me here becos I am kinda lost in my life.

    • @mosesmaximiliano3111
      @mosesmaximiliano3111 3 роки тому

      You prolly dont give a shit but does any of you know a way to log back into an Instagram account?
      I somehow forgot my login password. I would appreciate any tips you can give me

  • @anjalib2210
    @anjalib2210 4 роки тому +2

    Buddhism is the 2nd oldest religion in India after Jainism
    Samrat Ashoka had constructed around 84000 Buddhist monasteries in India along with Pakistan Afghanistan Bhutan Nepal Cambodia Myanmar Sri Lanka
    Namo Budhhay 🙏🏻

  • @Threetails
    @Threetails 6 місяців тому +1

    You know how Zazen allowed me to tame racing thoughts and live better with ADHD?
    By giving them permission to race! Stop trying to lock onto one and make sense of it. Let them fly here and there until I've got the fidgets out of my system. Then suddenly, I can think in one clear, unified stream and not ten thousand disparate thoughts. That's all my racing thoughts are: they're just the mind fidgeting. A common thing in the inattentive subtype. So trying to stop them by force or thought stopping or focusing on just one thing or emptying the mind? I never made any progress. But a midnfulness practice taught me that fighting these thoughts was the wrong way. As my teacher said, sit by the overpass and watch the cars go by, don't walk over to the road and try to catch one. I've found a skillful teacher who knew how to explain it to me and fill in the gaps in my understanding.

    • @DougsDharma
      @DougsDharma  6 місяців тому

      Wonderful! Yes that's a great teaching.

  • @rufushume8910
    @rufushume8910 5 років тому +2

    I personally prefer to think in terms of influence rather than control.

    • @DougsDharma
      @DougsDharma  5 років тому +2

      Yes, "influence" is a milder term that allows more room for life to get in the way.

  • @michaelmalloy2138
    @michaelmalloy2138 Рік тому +1

    Great talk! I am troubled this week by a young child that went to school and shot his teacher. How do we square this with the notion of control in the Buddhist sense? On the one hand, the child's mind may not have the ability to understand completely the ramifications of taking another person's life, yet on the other hand, it is hard to imagine that even at that even at age there is no understanding that shooting another person is a bad thing. What's more, isn't a teacher's authority a proxy for a young person's control as they mature?
    In my mind, it's hard to imagine that someone so young is in a situation where the forces to commit the act outweigh what one would expect to be "right action," in the sense of hurting someone in that way. What I have come to is that maybe I cling to the notion that people behaving to my assumptions. There are things that I don't know that somehow caused this child to behave this way. But this brings on sadness that we live in a society that cannot "control" our children to this basic level and that maybe this is something I need to work on. Thoughts?

    • @DougsDharma
      @DougsDharma  Рік тому

      Yes, I'd say that in all cultures we know instinctively that children have an undeveloped sense of self-control or understanding. The problem as I see it is about the availability of guns. A child should never have the possibility of carrying a gun around, and certainly not without close adult supervision.

  • @studentofspacetime
    @studentofspacetime 5 років тому +9

    Wow, another great explanation. This is a totally new angle on "non-self" for me. Thanks again!

    • @DougsDharma
      @DougsDharma  5 років тому

      You're very welcome Andrés, glad you found it useful!

  • @Esther-op4si
    @Esther-op4si 5 років тому +4

    Appriciate your sharing and thank you very much! It puts the ‘pop ups’ in another way of looking at them, for me. I have a question, how do feelings of guilt relate to controle? And how to practice, letting go of guilty feelings? Thanks🙏🌸

    • @DougsDharma
      @DougsDharma  5 років тому +1

      You're very welcome esther! I haven't talked much about guilt, it's not an emotion that really exists in early Buddhism. What does exist is remorse, which is the appropriate attitude to have for something we've done badly. Guilt involves a grasping onto the bad deed, an identifying with it, which is unskillful. So one practice would be to work with non-self and consider how who we are changes from moment to moment. But this is only one practice. Hope that's helpful. 🙂

    • @Esther-op4si
      @Esther-op4si 5 років тому +1

      Doug's Secular Dharma Thanks! Truely helpfull. 🙏Sort of, gives room to more being free.....Maybe. Beautiful the possibilities of internet.....me here in The Netherlands learn from your teachings. The English word guilt feels somewhat , like, more detached, as the Dutch word (schuld), more free from the connotation, inherent in our culture. Made me right now think of a ‘guilty pleasure’ 🤗 wish you well being 👌🍀

    • @DougsDharma
      @DougsDharma  5 років тому

      You as well esther! 🙏

  • @davidalbares5950
    @davidalbares5950 3 роки тому +2

    How cool would it be to be In Control of giving up control

    • @DougsDharma
      @DougsDharma  3 роки тому +1

      That would be cool. We can sort of inch our way there by being slightly in control of small things for a long enough time that we get better at it.

  • @samfawlia
    @samfawlia 2 місяці тому +1

    i love the little house behind you, what is it?

    • @DougsDharma
      @DougsDharma  2 місяці тому +1

      One of my Mom's sculptures!

  • @anjalib2210
    @anjalib2210 4 роки тому +2

    If you are interested you should read The Buddha and His Dhamma written by Barrister Dr BR Ambedkar
    Because there are some books available with the wrong information
    Or you can follow Mr RajRatnya Ambedkar on UA-cam
    Namo Budhhay🙏🏻
    Buddhism is the 2nd oldest religion in India after Jainism
    Samrat Ashoka had constructed around 84000 Buddhist monasteries in India along with Pakistan Afghanistan Bhutan Nepal Cambodia Myanmar Sri Lanka
    Namo Budhhay 🙏🏻

  • @rufushume8910
    @rufushume8910 5 років тому +3

    I would like to see a video on heedfulness. I feel like it is too often neglected in Western Sutric practice.

    • @DougsDharma
      @DougsDharma  5 років тому

      How do you view a practice around heedfulness? I ask because typical synonyms of "heedfulness" include "mindfulness", "attentiveness", and "prudence", which are central to early Buddhist practice.

    • @rufushume8910
      @rufushume8910 5 років тому +1

      ​@@DougsDharma I associate heedfulness with a level of spiritual urgency. The kind you get from reflecting on things like the inevitability of aging, sickness, and death and the level of unavoidable suffering that comes from being trapped inside Samsara.

    • @DougsDharma
      @DougsDharma  5 років тому +3

      Yes. I did a video for example about the five daily reflections, which serves the same purpose: ua-cam.com/video/MEu4kzfUSDk/v-deo.html . The Buddha was famous for saying that we should practice as though our hair was on fire ... something that makes most sense from within a monastic context, but there you are. Many householders have enough on their plates and are working with stress and over-efforting generally so appreciate a more Zen approach to the dharma, which exists as well. At the end of the day it's a balance that each of us has to figure out for ourselves. 🙂

  • @isaacgreenough3448
    @isaacgreenough3448 3 роки тому +1

    🙏😔

  • @pacman470
    @pacman470 3 роки тому +1

    Where is the boundary/difference between not taking things(which) personaly and supressing emotion i.e if somethig bad is happening, if somebody is insulting us?

    • @DougsDharma
      @DougsDharma  3 роки тому +1

      Well it's something you have to feel, if you're aware of what's going on inside you. If you have emotion but push it down, because you don't want to deal with it, then that's suppressing it. If on the other hand you simply don't have any emotional reaction to someone insulting you, then there's nothing to worry about. Many of us I think may be somewhere in between, but tending towards the former: we get emotional but don't want to deal with it.

  • @Captaincrunchh
    @Captaincrunchh 3 роки тому +1

    Hey doug, any dhamma teachers who you would recommend to study the works of?

    • @DougsDharma
      @DougsDharma  3 роки тому +1

      Well personally I'd start with people like Bhikkhu Anālayo or Bhikkhu Bodhi, although they are traditional believers and I'm secular. They are both however very knowledgeable about the early material as well as being kind and good people. There are many, many others as well such as Andy Olendzki or Bodhipaksa.

  • @yongjiean9980
    @yongjiean9980 4 роки тому +2

    You meditate to let go

  • @anjalib2210
    @anjalib2210 4 роки тому +1

    In India some people claim Buddhism is originated from Hindusim... No No No
    In ancient times there were only 2 religions that is Jainism and Buddhism
    Sanskrit is originated from Bhagwan Buddha's Paali language
    Bhagwan Buddha has taught us Vipassana.. Meditation
    Nalanda university is the 1st university of India
    Only Vedas are older than Buddhism
    And in Vedas you won't find the word Hindu
    You can watch Mr RajRatnya Ambedkar on UA-cam
    He is uploading videos of The Buddha and his Dhamma..in English

  • @simeondawkins6358
    @simeondawkins6358 2 роки тому

    Control is just an idea that useful for the ego

  • @NeoShaman
    @NeoShaman 5 років тому +1

    What is that which has partial control?

    • @DougsDharma
      @DougsDharma  5 років тому

      I'm not sure I understand the question Leśny. Can you elaborate a bit?

    • @NeoShaman
      @NeoShaman 5 років тому +2

      ​@@DougsDharma you speak about having partial control (or not having perfect control), which implies some degree of freedom and agency, which can be seen as the self. In other words, self is that which has partial control. If not, what is the basis of differentiating between uncontroled change and controlled change?
      If there is something that can consciously change the causal chain, isn't that a good definition of an agent?

    • @DougsDharma
      @DougsDharma  5 років тому +1

      Ah yes Leśny. This is what we might term the "conventional" self. Indeed, the Buddha says we should take refuge in ourselves. That's what he means: we should take refuge in our own ability to put skillful effort into our practice.

    • @NeoShaman
      @NeoShaman 5 років тому +1

      But doesn't this contradict anatta? If we had full control (or no control), self wouldn't be visible. Having partial control is the only configuration that implies an actor, makes it "visible".
      As I understand it, there is just an illusion of self having a partial control, where in fact everything is fully causal, and there is no control at all, hence anatta. As you said, self is just a convention, delineated on a causal flux. Understood this way, there is no letting go of control, as it was never there, just letting go of the idea of control.

    • @DougsDharma
      @DougsDharma  5 років тому

      The idea that we really have no control is one that the Buddha specifically rejected; it's the view of Makkhali Gosāla of the Ājīvikas. You can see my video on the Buddha's competitors here: ua-cam.com/video/aoxagmtSHI0/v-deo.html In general anatta doesn't mean there is "no self"; it means that there is nothing permanent that makes up our selves. We are always changing. I also have a video on non-self if you are interested in a deeper look there: ua-cam.com/video/gSZjKKuvHEQ/v-deo.html

  • @Newbill17
    @Newbill17 4 роки тому +1

    I learned a couple of things. You really didn’t satisfactorily get to the heart of the matter in 26 minutes which I consider wasted. And as a secular humanist, I have no interest in spending time on Buddha’s specifics other than as an academic matter.

    • @DougsDharma
      @DougsDharma  4 роки тому +1

      Sounds like it's not the approach for you then, William. Glad you learned something from it though!

    • @Newbill17
      @Newbill17 4 роки тому

      Doug's Dharma Thanks. My apologies for being rude. I get the secular Jew tradition because of the recency of the holocaust. And I’ve been vaguely aware of secular Buddhism for a long time but just not that interested. I was looking for concise stripped-down help.
      I finally found an article in psychology today that addressed my concerns in two very concise and helpful pages. And I found a couple Jon Kabbat-Zinn videos on mindfulness attitudes of “Letting Go” and “Acceptance” each around 4 minutes also very helpful. They all got right to the point quickly in ways I could understand and appreciate. Interestingly, one of those attitudes is patience which I obviously don’t have. I know Jon’s MBSR techniques are partly based on some ancient traditions but thankfully he didn’t go into the details and rarely does because they’re just not necessary to understand the techniques of mindfulness to effectively use them in the modern world.
      I trained in the Maharishi’s TM which is also thoroughly secular in its’ technique and approach (more than less) but different in kind from mindfulness. TM training does sneak in some Hindu elements into the training rituals though. But I find even that hard to maintain a consciousness discipline as a practice although I try.

  • @localnugget
    @localnugget 5 років тому

    Doug, would you say that (to some extent) Buddhist teachings seem to coincide with philosophical materialism? The 5 aggregates and the notion of non-self point me in this direction.

    • @DougsDharma
      @DougsDharma  5 років тому +3

      Thanks for the question Chris. I’d say early Buddhism corresponds to a kind of analytical deconstruction of the self. But it isn’t materialist: four of the five aggregates are mental. Also the Buddha specifically argued against the materialism of one of his competitors: ua-cam.com/video/aoxagmtSHI0/v-deo.html