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Hoarders ❤️ How I recovered my Shopping Addiction
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- Опубліковано 29 сер 2022
- In this episode I share how I recovered in my Shopping Addiction in my twenties. In college and most of my twenties, I was addicted to shopping. It was another coping mechanism from being physically and mentally abused from my ex-boyfriend. Since I never processed that trauma, it showed up in different forms. In my twenties I was drowning in $10K credit card debt and decided to pay off the debt before I was married and had babies. It was the best decision I ever made. Once married and my firstborn in 2008, the Great Recession took a toll in our finances but luckily we already had no credit card debt. Now that we are finally more financially independent, that old shopping addiction is starting to appear again. These are the tips & tricks that are helping me modify those behaviors.
If you would like a free pdf of the No Spend Challenge, please email me at hoardersheart@gmail.com with the heading “September No Spend”
#money #shopping #addiction
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Fear of not having enough, loneliness, not feeling like you're enough, lack of love, lack of purpose, something ending or just a bad day can drive impulsive shopping too
Something that always helps me when I'm craving that high: I get excited about something I already own. I treat it like I was researching it to buy online. I look up how others have it styled and read reviews about it and imagine ways to use it. I get myself all excited and then I already own it! 😆🥰❤ Just get yourself obsessed with something you already have!♡ It is very satisfying 😌
I love reading review too, and research what other people think about the product to see if it's worth it.
I used to have a shopping addiction. After racking up and eventually paying off my credit card debt, I vowed to keep my credit limit very low, I also appeased my shopping addiction to only shop at thrift stores because the reality was I didn’t NEED anything but a couple of dollars here or there gave me the thrill of the hunt without the stress afterwards. Now I have finessed my need to shop further by only buying from my specific wish list- so a special book, a piece of costume jewelry in a colour I am looking for. Because thrift stores are so cheap and the inventory is so random it is still fun for me and it lets me do a tiny bit without killing my budget. When I am bummed out/stressed out I don’t go near any stores AT ALL. Too tempting. Easier and safer to go home, make a tasty cup of tea and watching something funny. Does the trick!
Hi, I look at stuff and think how it will take up space...Junk...yes it's pretty 😍 but I don't need it. It will sit and collect dust. It took a lot to not be a hoarder and a shopping addict.
Just stuff...keeping that in mind, helps me to look, admire it, put it back, and then walk on.
I feel better because that object didn't control me...
Good video.
Absolutely!!! Your message has so much truth in it and I appreciate you sharing that with us ❤️🙏🏼❤️
Some thing I do to actually break my shopaholic addiction is not deny myself from shopping. I go to my favorite store homegoods every week and look. I walk around and get the experience of shopping but unless I had a specific item on my list that I need I don’t buy. I walk around look at the items. Touch them. Smell candles etc. and enjoy the experience but anything I see I have the urge to take home I will pull out my phone and take a pic of the items. Some times there are only a couple some times there are many. But I leave the store and I can see the pics later when I am at home and I can look back at them again but by then the dopamine rush has passed. I found like you said if I avoided stores for weeks or until payday etc I’d find myself binge shopping and wanting it all. Now I’ve conditioned myself to be in a store as a regular thing for me and just look. I know it sounds silly and maybe it only works with house hold items for me because I enjoy home decor very much (some people prefer clothes, or beauty items, etc.). Take pics! I’m telling you it works. I even will text a friend when I’m in the store when I am looking and send the favs. It feels like a friends shopping trip together and helps them get their retail therapy done too
All this is also keeping in mind I’m reducing the clutter in my home and trying to reduce my spending. I think this is called exposure therapy on the show hoarders. While I’m looking and touching I’m also saying where would I put this do I need it do I want a cluttered home etc. I talk myself through and some items even make it into the cart with me while I’m walking around but they dont come home. If anyone else struggles with accumulating try this. I also want to add in the past if one was good one in every color was better or I liked a frame why not get one in every size. If I liked a bath towel why not buy six or 8 for each bathroom. Etc. so I had a serious problem. But this works!!
Wow, I did not knew there was a name for this strategy. I've been doing this "exposure therapy" for years and I noticed that the more frequently I visit shops and try out things myself (touching it, smelling it, wearing it), the less I am tempted to buy them. I do take pictures of the items I wanted so I can look at it on my phone later when I am at home. Thank you Trish!
I love this! The idea of the dopamine rush being so temporary is very helpful. I have used a trick that works for me if I’m disciplined. I put all the items I really live in my cart, walk around the store for a while and then I usually don’t even really want the things I had selected. I put the items back and go on my way without spending a dime!
@@rev.robynyoung7680 Not getting the cart has been really helpful for me too!
My dad taught me this trick when I was younger, it really works and is still satisfying!
So thankful to have found your channel. Hoarding bring so many negative thoughts and can be very shameful. I just moved from an apartment I hated where I couldn't have people over due to landlord issues (the apartment was on the back of her house). I was able to keep things manageable in the beginning, but after the first year (of the 10 years I lived there) when they complained about every noise and if I had more than 1 extra car - I stopped having people in and the hoarding took over. I just bought my own home, a small single wide mobile home in a mobile home park that I was able to buy in cash. We took 2 trailers full of garbage to the dump when I moved - there was a lot of shame at being wasteful and not recycling or donating - but in order to get moved, I had little choice. I thought I would end up in crisis over it because I didn't get to process the clean-out process. What i have found is the things I moved to the new home and the things we left in storage shed that I just had room to move into the house - I am ready to get rid of more, this time going through the process and donating and recycling. Your channel and your honesty has helped me to process my thoughts and feeling and knowing that this is a struggle, but one that I can overcome. I enjoy having people over and knowing that they can pop in with no notice and there may be clutter, but the home is clean and comfortable and getting better day by day. Thank you for all you are doing to help people understand that hoarding is not just being lazy - but also that you can overcome it if you put in the work!!
I find when I shop online for something I want but don’t need that if I can afford that item I can afford to put that money in savings. And I do that. Really helps!
Yessss, that’s a wonderful way to see the reward of saving money and not spending it on impulse shopping 🛍💜🦄 Thank you for sharing that with us!!
@@ahoardersheart I’ve already have over $700 that I’ve put in savings since May. Haven’t missed it at all.
I am shopping my garden for my fall decor. We are in the process of harvesting our many gourds and pumpkins. I will also gather dry roadside materials to use in my outside planter bins.
You did so well to pay off so much debt. I’m nearly debt free possibly for the first time in about 12 years. I’ve loved shopping since I was a child now as a single mum to 3 at 36 I’m realising it doesn’t bring me as much joy just too much stuff and no money. Plus it’s so stressful when I have the kids with me . I’ve donated so much stuff over the last few years and the house is nearly sorted. I’ve just got to continue working on not bringing more in . I need to get more no spend days in September. Thank you for such a helpful video 🥰
My problem is buying things for other people. I love giving gifts, especially if I know they are needed and will be appreciated.
You know you are an artist? I am watching you from Italy... Love your videos
When trying to lose weight of course I worked to avoid the tempting grocery aisles, but I also learned that when you have to pass the impulse displays at checkout you can see that as an opportunity to practice the skill of saying "no", which does make you stronger and better at saying no to bigger temptations over time. This probably can apply to pretty things, too!
My parents taught me some skills to mitigate this from ever being a problem. When my mom lost her job, and could no longer afford to shop for self soothing, she taught me how to window shop. She also used layaway and would cancel the order later on after she got the dopamine. And we learned to find things we need at thrift stores.
My dad taught me a trick of just putting something in your cart if you want it. After carrying it around the store, it was way easier to put it back on the shelf and leave without more clutter, only the stuff you absolutely need. These skills really help mediate that "gotta have it" urge.
I love the idea of delaying purchases. If you tell yourself that tomorrow you can come back and purchase it...it does seem to calm the system. If you DO come back and buy that item you really loved and get it home....it becomes a real 'memory' from the trip! And as you mentioned there is still joy in just looking at the items in the store.
If you would like a free copy of the September No Spend printable pdf: please email me at hoardersheart@gmail.com with the subject: Sept. 2022 No Spend
Fumio Sasaki, the author of “Goodbye Things” illustrated how we get used to things. When you go into the ocean, you first feel the coolness of the water, but as time goes on, you get used to it. So it is with things we buy.
If the dopamine rush is in the change of state, by going minimal, you feel more stimulation, joy, gratitude at the simplest change❤️
Wow! Realizing the dopamine rush is short lived is very powerful information. This explains so much of my buyers remorse. Thank you for sharing this.
I love your handwriting! Soo pretty! ✍️❤️
This video is awesome! You are so right about not wanting to shop when you are actually happy and grateful. 😁
What a fantastic channel you have going here. There have been hoarders in my family, and I've helped clean out some hoards. I deeply dislike the way the condition has been sensationalized on TV, and the voyeuristic quality of the programs. You bring so much reality and compassion to this experience. Brava! ❤
I feel called out, and it was much needed. Im at a kinda low point atm, i used to use financing options so much im still paying on it a year later. Ive been doing so much better and i dont want to slip down that slope. Thank you for this video. Its a great mindset. Ive been adding things to my shopping cart, and when i actually can afford to buy one or 2 items i delete everything else. It's helped so much.
I love the spending challenge. I’ve never heard it done this way and it feels more doable.
You explain things so well! I hope you get to do this full time very soon!
Love the No Spend Calendar. Wish my husband would follow along with it, lol.
When I'm shopping in store I go through out the store grabbing whatever I want, then I talk myself out of most of the items especially decor cause I ask myself where would I put it, so it's mostly practical stuff
I was once a shopaholic, big time. You are so right about the rush to have the item. One day I said enough and started to pay off my ten credit cards. I have four left, two will be paid off by Christmas. I got tired of being broke paying for impulse shopping, never again.
I understand the shopping addiction! There are days that I come home and don't even remember what I've purchased. I have those days when I feel particularly bad that I just have to buy something. I usually buy craft items that I know what I'm going to do with it. But I only shop in resale stores where the prices are really reasonable. I'm not buying clothes since I have so many (I desperately need to go through my closet) and have no room for more. The newest clothes are hanging on the doors and wherever I can find places to hang them. I like my stuff but...I'm trying to get rid of some of it. I don't have a basement or any storage so it's cluttering up my home and I'm tired of looking at the mess.
Love the challenge page you made!!! So pretty!!! You should draw up some decluttering and cleaning challenges that we could print and use. I would love that!!!
Wonderful information! I got out of the shopping habit when I was laid off from my job in 2011 and worked temp jobs and only earned a small income and had to pay for my own health insurance. To this day I rarely go to stores that carry home decor items, etc. I usually shop at stores that only carry groceries, not groceries and everything else you could imagine!
i am an online shopper, i do it similar. I go to a shop, put everything in the shopping card and close the site. If its a harder day i do it for dog stuff, but my dog hates playing so he dont like toys, so i know if i buy it now, nobody would use it. And if its a pretty though day i buy things i really need or need in a few weeks, things i really use, like dog food, paper towel, shampoo and so on.
Wow, that sunset at the end! Epic!
Thank you so much for this - especially since the visuals are hitting exactly where my temptations are. You found the products that give me exactly that rush.
You know my Dear Ms. Heart,God has given you a wonderful gift to calmly and lovingly help those that have felt sad and confused and without help.But not to fear. Tossy Tossy is here for those that though they would never have hope, for God has sent you! ♥️❤️
That was so helpful. My weakness is yarn. I have enough. I am not allowing myself to get any more until I finish my projects that I am working on. I dont even open any emails from yarn shops. Thank you, this was a huge help for me.
So exciting to hear that you are trying to do Hoarders Heart full time! ❤️
👍👍👍👍👍 I think you have gotten many people here on this channel to think twice before they buy any new fall decor now. Great insights!
Haven't been to dollar tree in almost a year buy minimal at dollar general usually 1$ items but trying to break habit of target dollar spot not easy but doing better UA-cam videos don't help 😫 but I'm getting better some Amazon basically essentials a few tops but once again seen them on you tube video lord help me give the strength 💪 🙏
Thank you for this 🙏🏼 I’m going to try the challenge 🙌🏼
This was neat, thanks for this information about the dopamine prior to purchasing - that’s so good to know! I really liked seeing your resourcefulness in how you make your no-spend-challenge chart - you have a real eye for that! Thanks for sharing that with us as well!
Thank you so much for your thoughtful video. This helps so very much!
The withdrawal symptoms are the worst thing. I haven't seen anyone talk about how to deal with those. If I don't shop I ache to shop and it's a very uncomfortable feeling.
I love the way you explained the ways to keep from buying! Thank you so much!
30 years ago, my kids would take $5 when they'd go to the mall with a friend. They'd walk or take the free commuter bus. The money would pay for a drink and
a snack. Don't forget, they'd need change for a pay phone. Tina, Al's wife
Hannah Louise Poston has some great videos about finding ways to appreciate beautiful things without buying them - she did a no-buy year to overcome a shopping addiction, and she's super thoughtful about it. :) You have pretty different styles, but I think you both have a lot in common!
Thank you for the No Spend Challenge calendar. Those really help to stay focused! 👍
Thank you so much for sharing this video exactly when I need it! So grateful for the reminder that the dopamine rush peaks when we're thinking about buying, rather than when we've actually bought something. I shop online a lot, and I've noticed that I often send things back because for me, the 'thrill' comes from the shopping / ordering, not the items themselves when they arrive.I always seem to convince myself that the next purchase will be the purchase that makes me happy - and, of course, it never does because addiction of any kind is usually about seeking something that will never actually be found in the addictive behaviour / substance etc. Thank you.
Aside from all the other wonderful things I can say about you, I want to commend you on your beautiful handwriting ~~~✍️
Love your progress. Have to stop myself from the shopping rush. But also with all the love and support, please consider what you would also do if or when you run out of things to declutter and sort, if you want to do Hoarder's Heart full time or more often. 💌One day that basement will be fully organized and made over!
I loved what you said about grieving summer! I think a lot of people feel that way! Stores capitalize on this!
I enjoyed watching your video. I love 💕 the fall decor.
That explanation about the dopamine hormone is absolutely amazing. Thanks for all you’ve thought me about myself. Great video as always. Stay safe and healthy. Mary, Joes wife 🙇♀️👏👍🤞🙏💪💐🥳🌈🐈🦄💵
thank you for showing this I am a hoarder also and I know what your going threw ,I am doing better at not shopping alot
Super cute no spend chart you created 😍. It's so pretty, too!
I never thought about the fall temptations meaning to grieve summer. It makes sense though how you describe it.
Such good advice. I’m going to give it a try next time I’m shopping. ❤
I love this idea! Thank you!
I would describe the dopamine rush as it is a treasure hunt/scavenger hunt and when you find the things that make you happy in store, then you win. Leave the items there because you can go enjoy finding the next one.
Also, instead of using a cart, try a basket or just your hands. If you have to feel your fatigue, it limits the volume greatly.
I am going through therapy to try and get to stop shopping so much
Yesss, you will find so much healing in your therapy sessions too!! That is always best and please know I’ll be cheering you on your journey too ❤️🙏🏼❤️
@@ahoardersheart thank you so much it's very hard to not shop but I know I can do it
This is brilliant information and advice. I think focusing spending on particular days decreases mindless spending when bored, unhappy, etc.
The dopamine rush…I love a good window shopping excursion. I usually return home empty handed with new diy ideas for my already owned decor.
I tell my kids that just because we love something doesn't mean we have to own it.
I’m not sure if you have all the no spend months completed but if you do you should sell the 12 months! You could update them every year and give out one free month for your subscribers to try.
This is a great reminder to be mindful.
I actually think that most of us are wired to acquire stuff. We all have to make a conscious effort not too and really make sure our purchases are intentional. I know when I was facing a quite scary operation, about 7 years ago, I collected a lot of vintage cultural costume jewellery from ebay auctions as a distraction. I still have much of what I collected and I enjoy my collection but I no longer look at it as much as I did nor wear them as much, and have started giving away pieces. Covid actually meant I hardly went shopping at all, if I buy things it tends to be online and is far more intentional.
I've never really spent a lot, we almost have two houses paid off and I've retired early due to a physical disability, my husband is approaching his retirement too, he's on an excellent income, with way too many toys to play with, but he really considers his purchases quite a bit too. Despite all we've been through we've been fairly fortunate financially, just by being fairly careful.
I think we all got our first paychecks and WENT SHOPPING! So I'm feelin' you here!
Because of all of the GREAT SALES (back to school & Clearance!) - I actually have 98% of my Christmas shopping done! (tomorrow I'm going to put some Christmas carols on Spotify and wrap them!)
Ehem! I'm TOTALLY ready for a 'No Buy September!'
Great advice great advice
That dopamine thing is such an important nugget.
Yay I love your no spend 😍😍 Thank you
Love people, use things. The opposite never works. Maybe using I like it, I appreciate it.
You want to do it full time? You could do public speaking, consultations, and also go to people's homes to help them declutter or provide support.
You could also create a sales funnel to a marketable product like a book, an ADHD guide, or an online service or another product...
THANK YOU!!!!!
When I was on a tight budget, but loved to shop, my favorite trick was putting items on hold at the register or at customer service. They’ll usually hold things for 3 days, sometimes less if they’re on sale. I was able to let go of the FOMO and take my time thinking about the purchase. If it was that important I would go back.
Hope not too many items that were abandoned, poor employees 😲
Soooo……this explains why several times I’ve gone into hobby lobby or Walmart, shopped for a while, lots of pretties in my cart, then I stopped and looked at the items before I went to checkout and the “rush” was gone. I parked my cart to the side and walked out of the store feeling good about myself. Donna
I treat stores as galleries or museums. I simply admire the clever creative objects. We know we won’t be buying the Rembrandt…
As someone that cleaned and organized homes for a period, a clue to shopping addiction was items that still had a price tag on them and sometimes never removed from the bag after purchase sometimes months/years later When you give an item a specific home and maintain that item, you are showing good stewardship and pride in possession rather than shame that comes with addictive behaviors.
I haven't been to a physical store in ages (except groceries) but online shopping is even more dangerous. It sits in the cart and I can look at it all day long, reigniting shopping addiction. Lists upon lists of items I want to buy and sometimes the addiction wins and another bag enters my home 🙄 I am curretly into over a 100 hand bags it's friggin ridiculous. The worse for me is when stores offer really good bag deals every couple months it's awful i am trying to avoid shopping as much as possible.
♥️
I personally can’t stand the decor stuff at the big box stores. My issue is food and clothing.
Hello from Germany, hi miss heart, in my 20 I struggle with my shopping too, a lot,..... I learn how to do it with less.... 20 years later I make no spend list,... It's help me. For my kids I go with less....
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
😍😍😍
I did no shopping in August well I spend $20 dress so that still a win in my book 😁 September is my birthday month so I save up my cash back rewards for a year I got $500 that will go towards my trip this weekend 😀.
😊❤️🍂🍁
Have you done a ‘no spend challenge’ recently? We haven’t seen you go over one for a while now x
U should sell ur pdf’s!!❤️
You should write a book.
so I do have a question about your no spending. so my problem is I'm one who doesn't spend money very often but even with a budget when I do I feel I go over boarded. my shopping habits are 1 every couple months or so. How do you curve the temptation of spend your whole budget when you do go shopping. im trying to live a more simple life not minimalist but like I said simple. my dad is a hoader but he will not admit it so I grew up with having tendency from seeing him. so how can I work on that. anyadvice from you or anyone in this community would be greatly appreciated.
HL was an addiction for me until I saw how the treat their employees. The family that owns HL smuggled Christian artifacts into the US among there reproductions. When caught the owner admitted to the smuggling them in to put in his Christian museum, because he is a devout Christian and felt he had a right to them as opposed to the people and country he stole them from. There are employees now talking about how HL does not use bar codes for inventory counts. The reason is the owning family wants no one to know what the actual numbers are, this way the can laundry money through the stores because no one has an exact count. Also it shrinks the amount of taxes they pay. I have not been in the store in years but saw a news report they feel Halloween is the devils work. They don’t pay for birth control the news said but they do pay for Viagra. They are “Christians” and family owned. I am a practicing Christian born and raised and the way HL tainted the meaning in the public is repulsive. They have had very little punishment.
My hoarding is due to online shopping😢
I just listened to not get triggered 😅
How do you do a month of no spending if you have to pay for bills and food?
You only pay for necessities
Yikes to Hobby Lobby. 😬
Send me those thongs we don’t get those beautiful prints our havianas are crap designs in Australia and there from here 🤦♀️🤦♀️
Have you budgeted out how your $30,000 per year loss of income will affect your family budget? Have you discussed how your husband feels about being the only reliable income?
👎🏼too repetitive