Why I Kept Burning Out On My Creativity
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- Опубліковано 28 чер 2024
- In this video, I reflect on what led to me burning out on creativity over and over. There is always a core reason behind your motivations. This is where I explore mine. Support this channel by joining our Rogue Community on Patreon (We REALLY appreciate it): / rafiwashere
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It's been my experience that there's several kinds of 'busy' a person can find themselves in. One is busy that is placed on you by people or circumstances outside yourself. Get out from under those as quick as you can. The second type is being busy because there are just so many things you want to do. That feels great for a time, because you're doing all this stuff - but you have to be careful not to stretch yourself too thin. A third type of busy is kind of the same thing you're talking about - forcing yourself to do more and more because it makes you feel as if you're not worthless. Your self-worth can only come from within yourself, same way as happiness is an inside job. Nothing you can pile on yourself is going to make you 'worthy'. It only makes you tired. Don't do that to yourself.
Thank you so much for sharing this!
Nailed it!
This!!!
I think your (and Klee's) authenticity and ability to put yourself out there as a vulnerable human being is one of the key parts of what you give. Leading by example. Thank you for keeping it real ❤
Working as a digital artists I spend most of my time staring at a screen. From last year, I Really got burnt out so I went out to enjoy the sun, flower, wind and such. Just enjoying life as is. It taught me that I've been missing a lot of things because I was so fixated on art and succeeding on art career. Doing art does make me happy. But ONLY doing art made me miserable.
I just came across your channel about a month ago, when I was at a really low point creatively, and was searching UA-cam for a video to give me a reason why I should get back to painting after a massive burnout or crash some months ago. I came across one of your older videos and your message in it just blew my mind and was exactly what I needed to hear! . . . click on your channel to find out more and . . . right when you were saying you were questioning whether to keep YouTubing lol!
I am so glad you did this video - I just absolutely love what you have to say. You've made a difference - thank you.
Jen xx
I kinda miss your older videos where blurry Klee made the funny statements and I could see your paintings in progress all around you. I think I'll watch them all again.
I understand. What I want to make vs bills vs showing stuff vs ideas = endless mind crazy.
That is so true!
I have found that less is often more and doing only the extras (in the context of art) when orders are slow. And being in my 60s, I reserve the right to change my focus when I feel inclined (even if that inclination is for financial reasons only).
Oh my gosh, THIS is why I love your and Klee's messages! Your REAL.
OUR desires and expectations are subconsciously linked to our childhood, external acceptance, and it translates into how we might function unconsciously.
A lot of humans, not only artists, build walls that hold them back from JOY & abundance when they don't ground and check-in on themselves.
KEEP SLINGING TRUTHS, Rafi!! 😃💯
Learning to slow down when life gets hectic, definitely a challenge, I just tell myself that whatever I don’t finish will still be there tomorrow.
Maslow's hierarchy of needs.....if your safety/security (job security, financial security, food security) need isn't being met you are kind of stuck there. It is hard to worry about the next level, love and belonging when you are desperate to just survive. Sometimes a person can progress to the self-actualization level and then even to transcendence, where they are a teacher/mentor and giving back, and then take a hit to safety/security needs and have make that climb back to the top, once that need is met. ❤ it is up and down throughout your life but once you have gotten to the top, you know you can get there again, it's easier to bounce back after a big or little pitfall. It's human nature and I love that you continue to share your authentic self.
This is completely why I burned out, myself! Living in survival mode while operating out of desperation and feeling I needed every little thing, every post, every video, every photo, or any little thing I put out had to validate me. It all took its toll and I'm still recovering 😔
Thank you so much for sharing! One of the things that I love about your videos is that you share these things that are uncomfortable, which make you vulnerable, but which all of us must face in one form or another. There's always someone in the back of our heads driving us to do the things we do. Ultimately, we want that to be ourselves, but often it isn't. It's remembered criticism, or fear, or guilt, or need. All of which feeds into that desperation you mentioned, and that sudden feeling, "I love my life. Why am I so unhappy?" *hugs*. You'll get there. I've been following you and Klee for many years now. You're sort of my mentor, and my beacon, and I know I'm not alone in saying that we all have faith in you both.
By husband is going through burnout, too many irons in the fire and too many fires to put out. He’s an active volunteer member of 4 different organizations and a full time employee and an amazing father and husband. I could go on, but you get the picture. He’s starting to crack. He feels like his value comes from what he does for others, so much that if he has to say “no” to someone he beats himself up for what he sees as letting someone down, disappointing them. He sees it all now, finally, and he’s working hard at valuing himself enough to set boundaries. Hopefully soon he’ll be comfortable with taking time just for himself.
As always, you've given me so much to think about. I have total confidence that whatever you and Klee work out, it will be awesome and real and organic and unique, and I'm fine waiting for it.
Sometimes, I feel like the busy-trap is tied to fear of success. I think one reason we artsy types often get so confusingly busy is because our creative minds generate so many ideas that we will always be pulling ourselves in 20 directions at once. And yeah, it can be paralyzing if we drive ourselves too hard, but as I often say, we're artists, not brain surgeons, so who cares if our experiments fail or we never finish a given project? We're just out here in the cultural wilderness, blazing trails and putting our creativity out there for anyone who wants it.
But then, when you start to get attention, the impulse to give starts to morph into feeling obligated to give. You're not just putting yourself out there anymore - suddenly it feels like you have to deliver things that meet others expectations. And suddenly, our 20 different ideas per day aren't just creative experiments. Now they have stakes attached. Things depend on us doing these things, and how and when we do them, and which of the 20 ideas we decide to fulfill, and if we make the wrong choice we might lose support/followers/audience/whatever - all that validation that, once we get it, we think we can't live without, despite never having had it before.
That's when I start panicking. The idea of having to figure out why people are following me, and what they like about what I do, what they don't like, and what they want from me - I just can't cope. And of course, they'll never tell me, because they don't know either. So you start chasing the likes and trying to placate your audience - who aren't even asking for that - rather than actually expressing yourself and your creative impulses - and now being an artist is a job, only you don't even have a boss who can approve your accrued PTO. And if you're struggling to build a following, trying to figure out what is going to hit with people is even more hellish. It all freaks me out so bad, I can't commit to any of my 20 ideas/day, and it gets really, really bad, emotionally. Just logging into my own website raises my heart rate.
I believe there are ways around this problem, but I haven't figured out what mine is yet.
I find the endless struggle to figure out things I don't understand absolutely exhausting, on top of all that anxiety.
You've put your finger on it: *obligation*. When something first done freely out of inner desire, turns into a burden of obligation, a "should". And that drains all the joy out of it. The baffling thing is, why do we do this to ourselves?
I really appreciate all that you do. When I found you and Klee I felt like leaving my art behind, but through your videos and books I found what I needed to continue and I am really grateful for you guys. Thank you so much
I feel like we’re on the psychic friends network. I realized I was driving myself crazy at the start of the year and needed to remember what mattered. ❤
It is so hard to make time to do all the things! Self taught artist, self taught business owner (which takes up SOOO much time and resent the most!). I still work my day job 3 days a week as well. Throw in adult child drama 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 and it can suck all the creativity out of a person. The family drama actually had me emotionally/mentally paralyzed.
now that things seem to have somewhat settled down (for now) I’m dying to get back to my painting but I have 7 orders to get out, taxes are due and I have a meeting tomorrow morning about booth space at the city market.! I have only completed one large and 5 teeny paintings this year.
ARRRGGGG
Thank you for being you, Rafi. Thank you for your gift of willing to be vulnerable and honoring your authentic self. As someone mentioned, leading by example.
You light the path for others to find their own truth and beauty.
Witnessing yours and Klee's continual self-reflection and exploration of WHY encourages and reminds me to do the same.
Love to you both 💕🙋♀️
Well HELLO Rafi! I have been missing you and YES💥 you and Klee were very much missed!
Yes we all want success, popularity, $ and the validation that comes with it.
Perhaps you multi-tasked to superhuman heights and that’s not sustainable for long.
Glad that you took a break and refreshed, very glad you and Klee are still together and EXCITED that you’re back!
Hi to Klee! ♥️
I just want to end this with a well earned THANK YOU for all of the inspiration that you both give that helped to motivate me.
I really missed you guys-Ceal posting from Long Island, NY
I definitely got something out of this! I struggle with this on the daily and i honestly thought it was mostly a ME problem, but hearing you be vulnerable made me realize im not alone in this artist journey, and that other artists struggle with this too. Everything you said resonated. Sometimes you have to take a hiatus and gain some clarity, and thats ok! Im glad youre back, and i always look forward to hearing your pockets of wisdom. It helps me to keep doing what im doing.
I'm so glad you share on videos. I think of art and life as a journey on a path-sometimes I veer off into the ditch or get a bit lost off track,Sometimes distracted. Other times steady and smooth.I admit that my regulary meditation has been helping me come back to center so that I am taking the next step forward from a centered self,rather than reaching forward at the goals or desires ahead of me. I am enough and from there I can give, rather than I'm not enough and need...But, wow, what a trip...we learn the lessons again and again in different ways. So glad you are enjoying your creativity and relaxing more -thanks for sharing, Rafi.
Totally get it and so glad that you have figured out that you didn't like what was happening and that you started to take action to make some changes. I'm a middle aged artist/mom, and my brain is always trying to figure out Balance. You guys have so many cool things going for you that I can imagine it would be hard to say No to any of it. But, that is the conundrum. We people have only so much energy and time to allot to anything that interests us. I hope you see that it is completely OK for you to say No to the outside world in order to say Yes to the other things that are important to you- just you. Creativity and generosity and commerce can all be great things, but if they take away from mental space, family life, personal care, etc.- well, you know. That's why you set a boundary, and then created this video for the public. I am so glad that you are taking this time to re-evaluate your lives. We should all do that, all of the time. Life is too dang short. Much love to you both.
Thank you so much for this message! I recognized myself in what you said. You're so right about changing our focus from receiving to giving! Sending good vibes!
Thank you. You are making a difference in the world. In my world especially.
Thanks buddy for that message, resonates with a lot of people.
I totally understand.
Yes, Rafi. It happens more than we'd like. As creatives that are aware of our purpose and passion as our motivation and rejoice in sharing beauty with the world, we are simply going against the current. As you clearly name it, the getting. When I hear the English phrase "give and take" I find it very revealing of this Shadow in the culture. We do not say "giving and receiving" because to us receiving is weak. It means that we owe someone. Instead we want to take it, to snatch it from them-- so we feel strong. And this is a patriarchal dominant definition of power. This definition distorts our giving from a place of love to a place of fear and hunger, and that's how the lack and the getting hunger sneak in. This program is running 24/7 around us and it's programmed in us. This is to say three things:
1. This is a Shadow in our culture and when you share this vulnerability you are helping us to become aware and shift from that wounded place.
2. Thanks for sharing. I've missed you guys but I appreciate the time you take for yourselves because you will come back with richness as you just shared here, and
3. Be kind to yourself. I know you have a good sense of humor. Maybe 'cause you are Latino like me. But yes, be kind and apply humor because it's an ongoing thing. It creeps into our days because it's in the culture and in the subconscious and our growth work is to acknowledge, learn from it and re calibrate our energy use to stay in beauty.
Thanks again for your inspiring, uplifting and empowering presence.
Excellent point about the phrase "give and take"! I had never thought about it like that.
We are all human and we all fall down this pitfall. Mostly these hard times are a preface fie new growrh and more authentic living. At least that is what I tell myself when I go through this. I'm too stubborn to yield and keep looking for signs of improvement and growth. I wish I was more eloquent handling these challenges but hey, it's a form of failing forward. I suck at times, but at least I do it colourfully (stole that line from the movie Major League). Hang in there! ❤
a gift to the world of artists.😊
I totally needed to hear this. Thank you so much for sharing Rafi and Klee 💖🙏💖😊
Interesting video! Artists are on a journey- it is too easy to spread yourself too thin- trying to keep up with self imposed deadlines and requirements- every day can’t be a whirlwind of different activities without exacting a toll on your self esteem and psychological wellbeing
Love you guys! Thank you for sharing. I've been experiencing burnout. It's really a challenge, being a sahm (to my 2yr old) and an emerging artist. If I'm not caring for my daughter and home, then I'm creating or doing something to do with the art business. I'm just tired haha. And maybe I can afford to take a break? But then I feel guilty for taking a break. A visious cycle! 😂 I'm just trying to stay present. Enjoy each moment, instead of having my mind on the future constantly! ✌️❤️
Oh boy, I can relate very much. I've always been in survival mode. Always needing to work just a little harder to justify any success. I need to learn how to slow this crazy stuff down. Thanks for all y'all do. I'd love to hace a few beers on the porch with you two.
Open up to the creators that made you wonderfully creative.
I love your channel and message to the world because of who you are.
Great message/reminder! I appreciate you sharing your authentic vulnerability with us.
Listening to you and Klee's ambitions over the years always made me wonder how you had the time or energy. I dont have the answer but for myself need to stick to 2 things only: art & family otherwuse I just dont feel good, I feel sick and stressed under the pressure. Take care of yourself ❤
Great stuff Rafi. Appreciate you figuring out these things and sharing.
@trishsaunders4296 YOU ARE AWESOME!
Totally understandable ❤❤❤
Thank you for being so vulnerable ! Totally get it and thank you for the reminder!!! You’re the best❤
Great video. I ran the rat race for many years and out of becoming full time artist for 35 years. Except rightfully so. Art is a speculation until it is't anymore. If you know the rat race your'e running is going to get the kids through college, pay off your mortgage and build a decent retirement capital, you do what you're most certain of. For me, there came a point where I felt comfortable of totally letting go of my rat race and possibly making it as an artist. Yet not at some financial risk. It's like how poor am I willing to accept if art does not bring in enough? I found that once I had decided to take the leap, I became fairly minimalist. Not just minimalist on consuming things but friends, entertainment, the works. Is it worth the consequence you must live with if you don't do well. My answer was yes, I can live as low as need be for the chance to do art full time.
Really appreciate you making this video, honest and true.
Rafi, every video you provide is
What's funny is that I was journaling last night trying to get my own focus back. I was trying to get a handle on what I should be getting out of my creative time. Thanks for the honesty, Rafi.
Thank you for sharing❤️❤️❤️
Love you guys man. I’m just getting started and I’ve been going through all your videos. Sooooooo helpful and I’m grateful for you both. Awesome honest perspectives that inspire me. Thanks 🙏. You’ll never know.
(hugs) I keep on running up against this again and again; the things that I want to do turn into the things I *ought* to do, and then I either do them without joy, or refuse to do them because of the negativity associated with them. Why do we rob ourselves of joy? I find it incomprehensible, even as I do it to myself. Right now, I'm in the midst of setting things up so I can actually be a self-funded retiree. That should mean I have no obligations, right? And yet I cannot relax, I cannot just let myself *be*.
The famous quote: "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness". Well... the "pursuit of happiness" is backwards, really. If you pursue happiness, it will run away like prey being chased by a predator. You have to sit down and let happiness creep up on you.
This is so relatable. Thanks for sharing this!
Thanks for this- 100% needed this at this fine time( it’s 1am). Would love to say $thank you but not through Yt
Ironically working on a podcast episode about this topic right now. Thanks as always Rafi!
That's AWESOME @zack_feldman!
I really needed to hear this today!!! Thx ❤
You Rock @gailfriend550!
👍👍
James 😁
We adore you @saintjamesmodernart!
Great video, Rafi, and thanks for the update. If you choose not to do any or as many videos on YT, will you still do them on Patreon?
I really want a “successful” art career in illustration. I’ve been trying so hard and feel like I can’t make anything of it. I make work, I pitch, I’ve started a baby UA-cam channel…. And now I’m wondering if it would’ve been better to have a nice day job and do this on the side, instead of putting all this pressure to get validation (and money) from creative work.
I have to sell my art in order to live, on into my old age because I don't have any other financial security. My health's too poor to do most jobs and I'm really not good at anything else ( adhd doesn't help).
It's not a cool attitude by I've k8nd of got to in order to survive. Not a pity party, just the way it is.
That's a valid perspective. However, not much wiggle room to get out from under it.
@woozelwoo922. First, I am going to be 73 shortly. The majority of my life I sold my art to basically support two husbands (both ex's for many years) and raise my daughter with almost no help from her father. I have multiple serious health problems...physical and mental. One of doctors said that being an artist was good for me due to the fact that creating brings me joy. The first group of artists that gave me a perspective on living as an artist were the impressionists. Renoir is my favorite not only for his art but his attitude concerning what defines art. One of many things that struck me is he always wore a worker jacket when painting...not a painter smock. He be!ieved creating art was a job like any other. But he also believed creating art was an act of passion. It's interesting that artwork is often used term...
It might be time to open a new chapter. The holy Spirit may be tugging on your heart.
Sometimes as a artist one needs to stop and look around . I personal y had a blah year thus far. Work home, and loved ones need me or don't need me. It's hard for me to ⚖️ balance . Let alone juggle ,as I call it what UA-cam creaters do 🤹🏻♀️. That being said out there or in there. Take your time.
OMG! Rafi!!!! ❤i soooo appreciate ur authenticity and vulnerability. U give so much to so many with your big generous heart. Thank u. And I hear u. “Striving” ; give it up.
It seems u r always pertinent to what I go thru am feeling and things I have felt…🙏🙏🙏❤️🩹
I so appreciate you and Klee.