he cared more about this woman he never met than making sure the woman who took care of his kids all their marriage had financial peace. devastating. just unbelievable.
Summers in the suburbs My father did this to my mother. But thank god my mother had a pretty sizable pension that he couldn’t run through and give to the other woman. He basically ruined his 401k and any money he had control over. My father is a complete idiot. Lost all respect for him.
@@oc4515 , was it also with a foreigner that he had not met? Like in this story? These stories always leave me scratching my head. It is so sad. It must have hurt you so much.
like it or not lts THERE mess not just his mess. to bad I feel bad though I would like to hear his side of things. still such a foolish dumb thing he did
@@johnsmith-zx5er Yes; people are behaving as if marriage isn't about two people becoming one; no wonder our divorce rate is so high, everyone is just out for themselves instead of looking for someone to really be partnered with.
The biblical reason is ADULTERY. And make no mistake. This was adultery in every sense of the word, irrespective of the lack of (physical) consummation. Because THAT would have happened too if homeboy got the chance.
This man thought he was going to end up with a new woman regardless of the fact there really was no woman on the end of the keyboard. He was going to leave her. Leave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes she will need money, of course. As I recall hes retired. She would be entitled to 50% of his retirement income. That aside, she could seek help from friends and family. This cant be the first time he has deceived her, hopefully the last though.
Just because he was cheating dosnt mean he was gonna leave her. But the fact he let his girl worry about money is sickening. The guys a pos. But truth is that’s both their lives now. He can never be trusted. He’s a goof.
He's 68, who knows how much longer he can work. She has little income earning potential. They have a disabled child... This man truly ruined 3 lives. I feel so sad for her and her at-home child. Hopefully one of her other children is in a position to help.
She needs to move on and not attempt to make things work with this guy. The fact that it was only online does not change a thing. If lets say this was not a scam and this lady was real, he would have left his current wife a long time ago.
Yeah. She gets half of not much. Maybe the equity in the house, half his social security and half his pension. She will have to work full-time to live comfortable. Or, if she stays face financial devastation for years. Not to mention the infedelity. Expect major fights. I would leave and start over. But it's her choice.
emptied out the IRA and the cash from the bank accts. It wasn't a physical affair but it might as well been. Financial affair is worse I think. At least with a physical affair I'd still have money left over afterwards. Geez louis.
Painful, but especially painful at that age. They are looking at retirement and one of the partner's is a stay-at-home mom. They don't have 40 years to recoup. Only 10 years. So sad.
To guests......This couple’s problems possibly stems from the fact that they had NO ONE to council them concerning having TOO MANY foster children and not enough time to themselves. (Did she say there were or had been SEVEN foster children and she home schooled them ALL? Since she decided NOT to contribute to the family income, what level of STRESS did this wrongfully place on the man?? See ... the issues are potentially much more complicated than she’s willing to admit.) PLUS ....a variety of pre-existing financial problems EACH person had pre-marriage and the added complications of STRESS these situations would have caused is never discussed at all during this too-short of phone call with Dave Ramsey. Experts in relationships can only help this woman and her husband IF BOTH of them are able to admit they BOTH contributed in various ways to these tragic issues. A good parallel is when the FAA nearly always discovers that an aircraft crash is a combination and complexity of issues combining together. Never one issue. Unfortunately too many couples hardly ever submit to ‘FAA-level’ equivalent financial and relationship council before the ‘emergency’ hits.
He was full intending to leave her, there is no way she should try and fix this, HE should be trying to fix it. He's not willing and she needs to leave him.
To guests......This couple’s problems possibly stems from the fact that they had NO ONE to council them concerning having TOO MANY foster children and not enough time to themselves. (Did she say there were or had been SEVEN foster children and she home schooled them ALL? Since she decided NOT to contribute to the family income, what level of STRESS did this wrongfully place on the man?? See ... the issues are potentially much more complicated than she’s willing to admit.) PLUS ....a variety of pre-existing financial problems EACH person had pre-marriage and the added complications of STRESS these situations would have caused is never discussed at all during this too-short of phone call with Dave Ramsey. Experts in relationships can only help this woman and her husband IF BOTH of them are able to admit they BOTH contributed in various ways to these tragic issues. A good parallel is when the FAA nearly always discovers that an aircraft crash is a combination and complexity of issues combining together. Never one issue. Unfortunately too many couples hardly ever submit to ‘FAA-level’ equivalent financial and relationship council before the ‘emergency’ hits.
I met this Russian dude, he’s the real deal I saw him on a reddit thread he helped me hack my husband phone contact him through his handle *Crystal_hackers* on instagram
I don't know how any man can have a spouse who: has an income, raised 7 kids and home schooled them, takes care of the house and cooks for you and im sure also meets his needs and he is out here fooling around online with probably a man. She is more that pulling her weight in this relationship and he has the nerve to do that to her and SHE STILL WANTS TO MAKE IT WORK! This is like trading all your gold for a lump of coal! Im sorry but that man does not deserve her at all!
Many churches and communities condemn woman that leave the marriage and are impressed upon from a young age that divorce is wrong. Resulting in many women just standing for the treatment that they receive. More men need to rally and be allies like this post has done! Someone raised this poster right!
ineedhoez the only pathetic one here is you. It’s proven that women are mentally stronger than men & can pick themselves up while a man will still wallow & whine kind of like what all you little soy boys do on any of Dave’s vids.
This is why you keep a skillset and have your own money. I can't imagine how scared this woman is right now. She can't put him out because she is so vulnerable making $10K and having a special needs child.
At this point and at their age, it’s more about companionship than romance. They can still stays together as a family, bracing thru these emotional and financial crisis, maybe just not as a couple.
I met this Russian dude, he’s the real deal I saw him on a reddit thread he helped me hack my husband phone contact him through his handle *Crystal_hackers* on instagram
Ladies and gents, let this be a lesson: pay attention to your money and your investments. Don't leave them in the hands of your spouse, where you don't know what's going on!
Wow! This story just keeps on getting worse. What did this man think was going to happen for the rest of his life?? He emptied out his retirement account for some woman he met online at 68 years of age?? How do you come back from that? Alimony from and life insurance on this man is the only plan for this woman!
@@Suraj-ci9vu With an affair this involved, I'd have trouble believing this is the only one that's occurred in 33 years. I think there was just a financial trail left with this one.
@@KatieBellino This. A man doesn't stay faithful for 30 years and then start acting like this when nearing his seventies. And she sounded just the type of person that sacrifices herself for the good of her family even if it involves forgiving cheating. Even now she sounded like she was only concerned with the financial damage instead of the cheating itself
I feel sorry for her. If she would have had a job, I bet she would have packed and left... But she stayed home all her life, raised 7 kids, one from whom is disabled and still needs care. It's so important to have at least a side hassle or a hobby that brings some money, so one doesn't end up with his/her hands tied... So sad... :(
To guests......Closer to the truth may be the woman should have had a job to begin with AND had the man thought through the potential difficulty he could have HALTED the train wreck, with the too-many foster children they took in. Is she conveniently leaving out these important details? This couple’s problems possibly stems from the fact that they had NO ONE to council them concerning having TOO MANY foster children and not enough time to themselves. (Did she say there were or had been SEVEN foster children and she home schooled them ALL? Since she decided NOT to contribute to the family income, what level of STRESS did this wrongfully place on the man?? What level of STRESS was he experiencing in his JOB or JOBS he had to have to afford all of these children??? See ... the issues are potentially much more complicated than she’s willing to admit, but as well, she obviously has NO EXPERTISE to diagnose what actually has happened, but conveniently blames the man. PLUS ....a variety of pre-existing financial problems EACH person had pre-marriage and the added complications of STRESS these situations would have caused, is never discussed at all during this too-short of phone call with Dave Ramsey. Stress is a condition which only medical and psychological experts, and the experienced, truly understand. It seems obvious this man may have had a mental breakdown of over-passion, which it is possibly why he may have also been in over-stressed already with the children. Many foster parents have false self-righteousness feelings that they are the only ones who care for the ‘rejected’ of society. Obviously, such over-stressed conditions can lead to a detrimental results. Experts in relationships can only help this woman and her husband IF BOTH of them are able to admit they BOTH contributed in various ways to these tragic issues. A good parallel is when the FAA nearly always discovers that an aircraft crash is a combination and complexity of issues combining together. Never one issue. Unfortunately too many couples hardly ever submit to ‘FAA-level’ equivalent financial and relationship council before the ‘emergency’ hits.
James Collins: I am happily married to a wonderful man for over 20 years and appreciate these points you have raised, but I need to point out this caller has only stated what her husband did, which is not "blaming." She merely called in for advice as to how to proceed financially, which the counselor(s) s/he are seeing are not trained in.
She needs to leave him. He has literally put her in a place where she may have to work for another 20 years just to have some money for retirement. That is deceitful and just such an awful thing to do to someone. He should’ve left if he was that desperate for attention.
This lady is so sweet. Even wanting to give him another chance to "rebuild trust". Plus taking care of kids, one if which is special needs. She is a saint, God bless her. This guy totally doesn't deserve this woman.
Oooh thats tough. At 58 and no more kids at home......as much as i belive in marriage....idk, i would be out. He will be dead before things get better. Shes young enough to move on and have a great life with soemone else.
I see what you are saying, but let’s take it a step beyond that for now. She doesn’t need a new person, she needs to find an emotionally and spiritually healthy foundation. Maybe with him, maybe not, but I hope she doesn’t stay with him just because of finances. She has a biblical reason for divorce, if she wants to pursue it, and she has her kids and life besides him. So with him, by herself, or with someone else, I wish her well.
NurturingTalents Paul although divinely inspired is not that authority on divorce JESUS is & Jesus said, “But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath hath committed adultery.”
This is why wife and husband have to both be On board with finances. There's no way over the course of a few years she didn't notice $150,000 gone from all there accounts.
$135,000 of that was loans she said that I’m guessing she did not sign off on. $15,000 over multiple years if they have no budget could be explained away. IF they have no budget that is; it’s easily found if you balance the books
I really like Dave and the advice he gives people is great. But his skill of not freaking out over some of his callers issues should be considered a super power.
Job suggestions for this caller (just thoughts, but I hope it helps). I know her special needs child is in a residence, thus I am presuming she has an element of freedom to work. Real estate agent (can take courses online at relatively low cost). Potential to make significant income. No degree needed. Flight attendant. I know she is 58. All three major airlines are hiring and some new flight attendants are in their 60s. You will start off with a salary and benefits. No degree needed. Histotechnician for Mohs surgery (can make 50-77K year. HS Diplomat or GED, and a course are required. With low income you may be able to get a grant). Quick training. I am a nurse and can vouch for the fact that health care is a thriving field. Manager in an apartment complex. Requires being personable, organized and articulate. Can pay really well and you usually get a free apartment with the job. No degree necessary. Administrative jobs with a health insurance company. They have many remote jobs in which you can work from home. At every level - from clerical to those requiring a doctorate. Home Depot. Pays well, if you are into sales and comfortable around home improvement equipment. Tutoring. You have homeschooled kids. Enough said. If you have a four year degree you can teach ESL online from home and while you won’t be rich, you can earn enough to get you through a slump. All the best, and I wish you a VERY bright and peaceful future. 💗
Also, PLEASE get an attorney. Depending upon the state you live in, there may be legal protections for you based on his financial fraudulence. There are no/low cost attorneys and legal aid societies in most states. Second, what he did IS adultery in every sense of the word. Irrespective of the fact that he did not have the chance to consummate this liaison, he would have. I could see him doing something of this nature again. While this must be your prayerful decision, I believe you have biblical grounds to leave. Please be mindful of the fact that he was (and likely still is) willing to leave his wife and the mother of his 7 kids with no visible means of support, whilst cleaning out his entire financial estate. Third, please see a therapist. Clearly, despite his nature, there were also other things present (as there are in all relationships) that need to be addressed in order for you to have a fruitful life. (You could live another 30 years, God willing.) I believe he is in counseling because he got caught. Please find a therapist who actually has some real training. It’s fine if they are also Christian. But you need a professional in this complex situation.
So so hard. It goes to show that just because you have a lot of children and have been married for a long time, it doesn't mean the relationship is stable. Coming from a family with 8 kids where my mother stays at home, my parents are very stable but it's crazy to think about how different things can be. Prayers to the family 🙏
I completely agree. It makes choosing a spouse - the process of finding someone - so much more important, since knowing that anyone can change their behavior or their mind at any time. I think all we can really do is hedge our position and try to narrow down the possibilities by making sure we choose, as wisely as possible, someone who has the same beliefs on the core issues of marriage/relationships, so it makes something like this as less likely as it could be.
Very sad. The fact that it was "online" makes no difference. Betrayal is betrayal. Given the opportunity, it would have quickly been a "physical" affair. He had many opportunities to stop the madness when he was taking out loans and transferring funds to this "woman." Every time he communicated with this person, took out loans, withdrew funds, transferred funds, he could have stopped. He didn't. If she chooses to try to rebuild their marriage, I pray she has someone in her life who can give her sound advice and guidance. She will need it.
Title should read, "Husband Scammed by someone from India posing as a fake woman" Call the banks and let them know he was scammed and see if any insurance company or bank will protect your dollars you had. Then kick your husband out and tell him to go meet as many girls as he wants, HUGE pool of people out there looking for a 68 year old man.
At 68, what the flippin' heck was he thinking doing this? Obvious scam, but he had a wandering eye. Totally grounds for divorce, he ruined them. I feel so badly for her and the mess HE created.
Mr. Ramsey I love that you said at the end ifwe can help your marriage Stay together we want to be a part of that but if we can't then we want to help you
My heart just goes out to you Rachel. Dr. Henry Clouds books on Boundaries could really help you walk through this. Specifically "Boundaries with Marriage".
Essential Oil Stories I just ordered your suggested book on kindle, thanks. I’d kill my husband if he did something like this however we can benefit from a good book on boundaries.
@@ShadaeBalancesKnightAstro Oh I'm so glad my suggestion was helpful. I have a friend who wants to borrow my copy of it I have on CD, the audiobook. She's struggling with her hubby and I know there is great hope for them but she needs tools, It's a great tool, especially for really NICE people because nice people sometimes don't know about good healthy boundaries so we improve our relationships. 💪
Leave! He was going to leave you. She said that the alleged woman was coming home to the US, AND? Then what? Sweetie, 68 means he could drop any day and it wouldn’t be weird. Statistically he’s got 10 years or so. Just leave with your dignity.
Husband 10 years older than wife, wife is at home homeschool mom to 7 kids, father is only source of income tells you all you need to know about the dynamics of this relationship.
This man has took 32 years and thrown it away. He is too cowardly to divorce her and she him. I have 2 words for her, ANTI-FREEZE. - COFFEE. Nuff said.
@@ineedhoez Stay at home mom's have more economic value than any other woman in society. They are the ones who bring up the next generation with morals and values instead of letting them be mindless drones taught by the public education system to remain poor and be slaves.
There are pros and cons to this: pro: more control over what you buy. Con: it's even easier for a spouse to hid things like affairs or things such as this, harder to budget. I have done both, and for my marriage the best was separate accounts and a joint for household expenses. Sometimes the spouse or yourself are not good with money and the other has to maintain more control. Unfortunately, usually you don't find that out until they make a massive financial mistake. Try to get a credit report before getting married. Their debt will be your debt.
This guy ruined his family's future for a stranger he never met, probably some guy. My wife and I are both 65, we have been married for 41 happy years, and we would never dream of ruining our family's future. This guy doesn't deserve his family.
He deserves to be left. She’ll be lucky if she gets away and starts over. Otherwise, she’s doomed. She’ll end up physically taking care of him and there will be no one to take care of her.
Dave, sometimes it's best to tell people to let go. What this "man" did is unforgivable. No amount of marriage councilling will fix these deep-rooted trusted issues. She needs to divorce and move on.
I feel like he was someone telling her leaving wouldn't be a bad idea in this case. He was asking if they were staying together and mentioned the alimony she would get if she left.
This same type of scam happened to my grandmother. :( They kept telling her it was taxes for winning a sweepstakes and she wouldn't listen to her family. How can people be so heartless.
I was married 20years before I left his tail. It was always a battle to keep him from cheating. I finally walked away. Even though I worked more than 2+ jobs and he made good money. We were never able to save anything. He had sold access to daughter's college fund left by grandad and even went thru that. I recently found out about FPU and I'm trying to save up for the class. I'm 52 and trying to get my feet under me again.
It’s so heartening to see two people - Dave and this woman - still see the value in marriage even after such a betrayal. Everyone in the comments are saying leave and blah blah. Dave even lays out how it would be financially advantageous for her to leave but that he’s willing to help her if she wants to stay. If you haven’t gone through betrayal, then you shouldn’t tell her what to do. This is her life. It’s her choice to stay. People stay with betrayers for different reasons. Like Dave says, her husband needs some serious treatment. Hopefully he gets it.
Rachel in Sioux Falls, take the money you are paying for marriage counseling and get your head examined. Surely you must realize that this marriage, and your ‘life as you know it’ are over. Move on.
My friend just got scammed out of like 3k to a person online. Oldest truck to. Said he was overseas part of peace talks. And stuck there... Needed money to fly home..... I just still can't believe that ANYONE would fall for that garbage!!!!!!
Dave is all high and godly that he would never recommend divorce, even though this women should divorce this man. Divorce his and stick him with his own debt and watch him suffer like he has made you suffer
That's not a woman from "overseas", it's a Nigerian guy living in Lagos.
Anazuo Salihu 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Anazuo Salihu yes!
Livin large in Lagos...may be the mayor by now.
I wish UA-cam would add "lol" buttons to the like/dislike.
That's what I thought, it's probably a dude anyway
68 and he had an online affair? I can't even teach my parents/grandparents how to email! lol
Vincent Titone 😂
😂😂
That's why he had an online scam affair. Because he was a smidge more savvy than your grandparents.
@@numbereightyseven exactly. 68 also isn't that old.
@@et5895 LOL pretty sure you can consider retirement age old
he cared more about this woman he never met than making sure the woman who took care of his kids all their marriage had financial peace. devastating. just unbelievable.
This dude is an absolute bafoon of an idiot. I got so angry listening to it. Don't know why Dave was calm like that. Id have flipped that table
Summers in the suburbs My father did this to my mother. But thank god my mother had a pretty sizable pension that he couldn’t run through and give to the other woman. He basically ruined his 401k and any money he had control over. My father is a complete idiot. Lost all respect for him.
Yeah basically, this is awful
The "other woman" is actually some random man overseas. He had an affair with a man who scammed him out of $150K.
@@oc4515 , was it also with a foreigner that he had not met? Like in this story? These stories always leave me scratching my head. It is so sad. It must have hurt you so much.
She needs to leave him and let him clean up his own mess.
clericstorm2009 agreed! He is not worth the trouble!
I hope she can, but with a 10k income and age discrimination in the workplace his own mess has become her mess.
like it or not lts THERE mess not just his mess. to bad I feel bad though I would like to hear his side of things. still such a foolish dumb thing he did
No kidding!
@@johnsmith-zx5er Yes; people are behaving as if marriage isn't about two people becoming one; no wonder our divorce rate is so high, everyone is just out for themselves instead of looking for someone to really be partnered with.
Divorce. He genuinely didn't care for her if he was willing do literally ruin their lives financially and emotionally.
she doesn't make enough money to take care of herself only 10k. She's getting close to retirement too, it's tough to find a better job
@@Covergirl005 you're right. That's a sad situation to be in :(
It takes two to make a mess like this one. Let the marriage counselor help them sort it out
Katyy Zady how does it take 2??? HE had the affair and HE gave all their $$$ away. Are you completely insane???
Divorce and sue.
This is the saddest I've been for a caller ever.
Same, what a terrible thing to be in.
She has a biblical reason to divorce.
Right?? Sad though
What is the Biblical reason?
@@kizzyjem cheating...duh
The biblical reason is ADULTERY. And make no mistake. This was adultery in every sense of the word, irrespective of the lack of (physical) consummation. Because THAT would have happened too if homeboy got the chance.
More like a digital reason
33 years, raised and educated 7 kids and seems to still be caring for their special needs child. Jeez, this is dark. Really feel for her.
This man thought he was going to end up with a new woman regardless of the fact there really was no woman on the end of the keyboard. He was going to leave her. Leave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Exactly. There should be no working through this.
Corrie Osadchuk she can’t she hasn’t worked in years. Still needs his paycheck.
Yes she will need money, of course. As I recall hes retired. She would be entitled to 50% of his retirement income. That aside, she could seek help from friends and family. This cant be the first time he has deceived her, hopefully the last though.
Just because he was cheating dosnt mean he was gonna leave her. But the fact he let his girl worry about money is sickening. The guys a pos. But truth is that’s both their lives now. He can never be trusted. He’s a goof.
If he was gonna leave her, he would have left. He wanted it both ways.
Not a woman oversees. It was a dude, 100% confident in that.
willieboy3011 Jonas very huge chance it’s a man pretending to be a woman it’s very common
Bottom or top?!!!
Absolutely a man
BRO WHAT ARE THE SECRETS TO BEING TBIS GOOD OF AN EWHORE
@@rc9719 yep. I thought the same
Girl needs to pack up and leave that kind of man. After 33 years?!?! Heartbreaking 💔
Bluenose you’re right, providing primary education and care for 7 of their children wasn’t enough.
Would that be an excuse for what he did? Nothing would be an excuse for what he did.
Shoot, not even The Captain and Tennille could stay together. Nothing is guaranteed.
@Bluenose Your about as smart as the man who lost $150,000 to a foreign scam! Bless your heart
Bluenose sexist pig
He's 68, who knows how much longer he can work. She has little income earning potential. They have a disabled child... This man truly ruined 3 lives. I feel so sad for her and her at-home child. Hopefully one of her other children is in a position to help.
Ummm she said the disabled child is an adult in a group home. Not at home.
She could have worked a long time ago...
Her adult child is hopefully on Medicaid. He should be good to stay in his group home.
Other spouses should not be held liable for loans made in deceit like this
If she decides to divorce him, she can be sure that happens under the circumstances.
I would DEFINITELY NOT call THIS debt OUR debt. This is ALL his.
By law, she's not if only his name is on the loan. She divorces him, it's his mess.
@@KatieBellino it depends on the state. In Wisconsin, i'm pretty sure the spouse still has to pay
GodlessGoddess I TOTALLY AGREE!!!!!!
She needs to move on and not attempt to make things work with this guy. The fact that it was only online does not change a thing. If lets say this was not a scam and this lady was real, he would have left his current wife a long time ago.
You can always leave
Yeah. She gets half of not much. Maybe the equity in the house, half his social security and half his pension. She will have to work full-time to live comfortable. Or, if she stays face financial devastation for years. Not to mention the infedelity. Expect major fights. I would leave and start over. But it's her choice.
He was leaving her regardless.
This is tragic... my heart goes out to her. But "rebuilding trust"?! I would divorce him so fast.😡 he has destroyed their lives for nothing🙁
emptied out the IRA and the cash from the bank accts. It wasn't a physical affair but it might as well been. Financial affair is worse I think. At least with a physical affair I'd still have money left over afterwards. Geez louis.
And the problem is that he did not even get any physical affection, that lady across the ocean was a total manipulator
Angelica S if the "lady" even existed
Painful, but especially painful at that age. They are looking at retirement and one of the partner's is a stay-at-home mom. They don't have 40 years to recoup. Only 10 years. So sad.
Agree!
To guests......This couple’s problems possibly stems from the fact that they had NO ONE to council them concerning having TOO MANY foster children and not enough time to themselves. (Did she say there were or had been SEVEN foster children and she home schooled them ALL? Since she decided NOT to contribute to the family income, what level of STRESS did this wrongfully place on the man?? See ... the issues are potentially much more complicated than she’s willing to admit.)
PLUS ....a variety of pre-existing financial problems EACH person had pre-marriage and the added complications of STRESS these situations would have caused is never discussed at all during this too-short of phone call with Dave Ramsey.
Experts in relationships can only help this woman and her husband IF BOTH of them are able to admit they BOTH contributed in various ways to these tragic issues. A good parallel is when the FAA nearly always discovers that an aircraft crash is a combination and complexity of issues combining together. Never one issue. Unfortunately too many couples hardly ever submit to ‘FAA-level’ equivalent financial and relationship council before the ‘emergency’ hits.
He was full intending to leave her, there is no way she should try and fix this, HE should be trying to fix it. He's not willing and she needs to leave him.
Yep. Idk why she's trying to save this marriage.
Feel really bad for her:/
Hi, I subbed:P
I would feel sad if I believed it
Don't feel bad for her, she choose to stay with him.
To guests......This couple’s problems possibly stems from the fact that they had NO ONE to council them concerning having TOO MANY foster children and not enough time to themselves. (Did she say there were or had been SEVEN foster children and she home schooled them ALL? Since she decided NOT to contribute to the family income, what level of STRESS did this wrongfully place on the man?? See ... the issues are potentially much more complicated than she’s willing to admit.)
PLUS ....a variety of pre-existing financial problems EACH person had pre-marriage and the added complications of STRESS these situations would have caused is never discussed at all during this too-short of phone call with Dave Ramsey.
Experts in relationships can only help this woman and her husband IF BOTH of them are able to admit they BOTH contributed in various ways to these tragic issues. A good parallel is when the FAA nearly always discovers that an aircraft crash is a combination and complexity of issues combining together. Never one issue. Unfortunately too many couples hardly ever submit to ‘FAA-level’ equivalent financial and relationship council before the ‘emergency’ hits.
I subbed too, your channel name sounds interesting 🌼
After I stopped throwing up I would immediately file for divorce. You can never get that trust back, ever. The debt is his, goodbye.
The only thing I'd be throwing is fists
Divorce isn’t a magic pill - she would still be liable for half his debt incurred during the marriage.
She picked him
Wow this was heart breaking . She should leave him. Is there anything left to be saved ?
She is old. I bet it’s hard to leave someone after investing your whole life with them.
@L Cam that's true. I didn't meant she is old. I meant that might be how she feels.
I met this Russian dude, he’s the real deal I saw him on a reddit thread he helped me hack my husband phone contact him through his handle *Crystal_hackers* on instagram
Financially she can't leave. But she needs to start acting like he's like a child and manage their finances that way.
I don't know how any man can have a spouse who: has an income, raised 7 kids and home schooled them, takes care of the house and cooks for you and im sure also meets his needs and he is out here fooling around online with probably a man. She is more that pulling her weight in this relationship and he has the nerve to do that to her and SHE STILL WANTS TO MAKE IT WORK! This is like trading all your gold for a lump of coal! Im sorry but that man does not deserve her at all!
To me she sounded defeated. 10 years younger and it doesn't sound like she typicallys stands up to him. There is a power imbalance here.
Many churches and communities condemn woman that leave the marriage and are impressed upon from a young age that divorce is wrong. Resulting in many women just standing for the treatment that they receive. More men need to rally and be allies like this post has done! Someone raised this poster right!
ineedhoez the only pathetic one here is you. It’s proven that women are mentally stronger than men & can pick themselves up while a man will still wallow & whine kind of like what all you little soy boys do on any of Dave’s vids.
Home schooling was her choice. She should've sent them to school like 95% of America and started working.
@@Nanubaby3385 I find this amusing because I'm actually a vegan. : ) lol Soy boy sounds hilarious!
This is why you keep a skillset and have your own money. I can't imagine how scared this woman is right now. She can't put him out because she is so vulnerable making $10K and having a special needs child.
At first I read skillset as SKILLET. This husband needs one to the head.
@@lovethemflowers I think an iron skillet would work! 🤣🤣🙄🙄
Absolutely! I believe her special needs child is in a residence. She needs to do whatever she can to get away from this man.
@@lovethemflowers Ha! I saw the word SKILLET, too. 'Goes to show, I guess, where the imagination takes us.
Easier said than done. Stay at home moms raising the kids typically lack skills year later because of their absense in the workforce.
Wow 😮 he cleaned out the IRA too? My heart goes out to her.
Do you ever do “ where are they now?” Follow up shows? I would love to hear how some of these turned out
I don’t buy that this type of betrayal can be “worked out.” Long term I mean...
At this point and at their age, it’s more about companionship than romance. They can still stays together as a family, bracing thru these emotional and financial crisis, maybe just not as a couple.
Leave him. Don’t use the kid or finances as an excuse.
You’re right
Agreed!
I met this Russian dude, he’s the real deal I saw him on a reddit thread he helped me hack my husband phone contact him through his handle *Crystal_hackers* on instagram
Ladies and gents, let this be a lesson: pay attention to your money and your investments. Don't leave them in the hands of your spouse, where you don't know what's going on!
And have separate banks accounts. I know Dave frowns on that, but you have to protect yourself.
Man...i agree!!!
And never be financially dependent on a man
TRUTH!!!!
earn. your. own. money.
Do not be dependent on someone else.
Wow! This story just keeps on getting worse. What did this man think was going to happen for the rest of his life?? He emptied out his retirement account for some woman he met online at 68 years of age?? How do you come back from that?
Alimony from and life insurance on this man is the only plan for this woman!
Yeah, financially, she's better off divorcing him, emotionally too.
Not a woman
This is horrible!!! On all levels!! Hope she can get through this.
Have some self respect and divorce him, he's crushed you emotionally and financially.
If this were my husband's I wouldn't need to worry about rebuilding trust, I'd be collecting on his life insurance.
😂
That’s a what I said, the only option 😂
Once a cheater, always a cheater. She should leave him and let him ruin his own life and not bring you down with him.
They spent 33 yrs together. Its logical but for her????
@@Suraj-ci9vu With an affair this involved, I'd have trouble believing this is the only one that's occurred in 33 years. I think there was just a financial trail left with this one.
@@KatieBellino This. A man doesn't stay faithful for 30 years and then start acting like this when nearing his seventies. And she sounded just the type of person that sacrifices herself for the good of her family even if it involves forgiving cheating. Even now she sounded like she was only concerned with the financial damage instead of the cheating itself
@@exantiuse497 It could be dementia.
I feel sorry for her. If she would have had a job, I bet she would have packed and left... But she stayed home all her life, raised 7 kids, one from whom is disabled and still needs care. It's so important to have at least a side hassle or a hobby that brings some money, so one doesn't end up with his/her hands tied... So sad... :(
I think you mean a side HUSTLE ^***
To guests......Closer to the truth may be the woman should have had a job to begin with AND had the man thought through the potential difficulty he could have HALTED the train wreck, with the too-many foster children they took in. Is she conveniently leaving out these important details?
This couple’s problems possibly stems from the fact that they had NO ONE to council them concerning having TOO MANY foster children and not enough time to themselves. (Did she say there were or had been SEVEN foster children and she home schooled them ALL? Since she decided NOT to contribute to the family income, what level of STRESS did this wrongfully place on the man?? What level of STRESS was he experiencing in his JOB or JOBS he had to have to afford all of these children??? See ... the issues are potentially much more complicated than she’s willing to admit, but as well, she obviously has NO EXPERTISE to diagnose what actually has happened, but conveniently blames the man.
PLUS ....a variety of pre-existing financial problems EACH person had pre-marriage and the added complications of STRESS these situations would have caused, is never discussed at all during this too-short of phone call with Dave Ramsey. Stress is a condition which only medical and psychological experts, and the experienced, truly understand. It seems obvious this man may have had a mental breakdown of over-passion, which it is possibly why he may have also been in over-stressed already with the children. Many foster parents have false self-righteousness feelings that they are the only ones who care for the ‘rejected’ of society. Obviously, such over-stressed conditions can lead to a detrimental results.
Experts in relationships can only help this woman and her husband IF BOTH of them are able to admit they BOTH contributed in various ways to these tragic issues. A good parallel is when the FAA nearly always discovers that an aircraft crash is a combination and complexity of issues combining together. Never one issue. Unfortunately too many couples hardly ever submit to ‘FAA-level’ equivalent financial and relationship council before the ‘emergency’ hits.
Spousal support exist for this reason.
James Collins: I am happily married to a wonderful man for over 20 years and appreciate these points you have raised, but I need to point out this caller has only stated what her husband did, which is not "blaming." She merely called in for advice as to how to proceed financially, which the counselor(s) s/he are seeing are not trained in.
@@christinabernat9681 Exactly! Not to mention the assumptions he's making about the foster children, which all but one have left the home anyway.
Wow!! Lady my heart goes out to you, Lord help this Lady, and Bless Dave for his advice, In your name...Amen
She needs to leave him. He has literally put her in a place where she may have to work for another 20 years just to have some money for retirement. That is deceitful and just such an awful thing to do to someone. He should’ve left if he was that desperate for attention.
He also planned on bringing a woman to America. He was about to leave
She can’t retire - she’ll be paying on those loans till the day she drops cold.
Oh come on Dave. She needs to dump him. Just say it. He's an old fool.
Oh, sweetie. Leave him.
makin 10k a year she lucky to make it past the drivway
And "Sioux" him!
LI1NK where there’s a will there’s a way!! She must run from that man. Nothing good left there anymore!
This lady is so sweet. Even wanting to give him another chance to "rebuild trust". Plus taking care of kids, one if which is special needs. She is a saint, God bless her. This guy totally doesn't deserve this woman.
Oooh thats tough. At 58 and no more kids at home......as much as i belive in marriage....idk, i would be out. He will be dead before things get better. Shes young enough to move on and have a great life with soemone else.
Yeah there are a lot of single 58 year women with no job and special needs kid in demand! Men line up for that
I see what you are saying, but let’s take it a step beyond that for now. She doesn’t need a new person, she needs to find an emotionally and spiritually healthy foundation. Maybe with him, maybe not, but I hope she doesn’t stay with him just because of finances. She has a biblical reason for divorce, if she wants to pursue it, and she has her kids and life besides him. So with him, by herself, or with someone else, I wish her well.
He will be dead before it gets better. That's a phenomenal and true statement.
Or a great life on her own.
NurturingTalents Paul although divinely inspired is not that authority on divorce JESUS is & Jesus said, “But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath hath committed adultery.”
This is why wife and husband have to both be On board with finances. There's no way over the course of a few years she didn't notice $150,000 gone from all there accounts.
Exactly
$135,000 of that was loans she said that I’m guessing she did not sign off on. $15,000 over multiple years if they have no budget could be explained away. IF they have no budget that is; it’s easily found if you balance the books
She said since last July, so not even a year- like 8 months.
@@deniseyweesy and the online loans were october, Dec, and Jan. Which was majority of the money
She didn’t see the bills coming in every month? I don’t know, this is a mess. There is no retirement savings thanks to him.
I really like Dave and the advice he gives people is great. But his skill of not freaking out over some of his callers issues should be considered a super power.
WHAT-DA-“H”😳 Was he thinking. There’s truly “No Fool Like an Old fool”
Old men who somehow think they're still desirable to younger women are truly the dumbest of the dumb.
I'm in the wrong field of work lol
You'd be surprised how often that happens.
Warren Henry 😆
Job suggestions for this caller (just thoughts, but I hope it helps). I know her special needs child is in a residence, thus I am presuming she has an element of freedom to work.
Real estate agent (can take courses online at relatively low cost). Potential to make significant income. No degree needed.
Flight attendant. I know she is 58. All three major airlines are hiring and some new flight attendants are in their 60s. You will start off with a salary and benefits. No degree needed.
Histotechnician for Mohs surgery (can make 50-77K year. HS Diplomat or GED, and a course are required. With low income you may be able to get a grant). Quick training. I am a nurse and can vouch for the fact that health care is a thriving field.
Manager in an apartment complex. Requires being personable, organized and articulate. Can pay really well and you usually get a free apartment with the job. No degree necessary.
Administrative jobs with a health insurance company. They have many remote jobs in which you can work from home. At every level - from clerical to those requiring a doctorate.
Home Depot. Pays well, if you are into sales and comfortable around home improvement equipment.
Tutoring. You have homeschooled kids. Enough said. If you have a four year degree you can teach ESL online from home and while you won’t be rich, you can earn enough to get you through a slump.
All the best, and I wish you a VERY bright and peaceful future. 💗
Also, PLEASE get an attorney. Depending upon the state you live in, there may be legal protections for you based on his financial fraudulence. There are no/low cost attorneys and legal aid societies in most states. Second, what he did IS adultery in every sense of the word. Irrespective of the fact that he did not have the chance to consummate this liaison, he would have. I could see him doing something of this nature again. While this must be your prayerful decision, I believe you have biblical grounds to leave. Please be mindful of the fact that he was (and likely still is) willing to leave his wife and the mother of his 7 kids with no visible means of support, whilst cleaning out his entire financial estate. Third, please see a therapist. Clearly, despite his nature, there were also other things present (as there are in all relationships) that need to be addressed in order for you to have a fruitful life. (You could live another 30 years, God willing.) I believe he is in counseling because he got caught. Please find a therapist who actually has some real training. It’s fine if they are also Christian. But you need a professional in this complex situation.
Some awesome advice here for this poor woman! Hopefully she reads it :(
@@carableu Some of the best advice I've seen.
So so hard. It goes to show that just because you have a lot of children and have been married for a long time, it doesn't mean the relationship is stable. Coming from a family with 8 kids where my mother stays at home, my parents are very stable but it's crazy to think about how different things can be. Prayers to the family 🙏
I completely agree. It makes choosing a spouse - the process of finding someone - so much more important, since knowing that anyone can change their behavior or their mind at any time. I think all we can really do is hedge our position and try to narrow down the possibilities by making sure we choose, as wisely as possible, someone who has the same beliefs on the core issues of marriage/relationships, so it makes something like this as less likely as it could be.
If she murdered him and I was on the jury, I wouldn't convict.
I'd thank her for civil service well done.
😂
DIVORCE. This man sounds like the worst
Seriously! There should be NO encouragement to stay with this fool.
BreeZ lol! imagine your dude draining your accounts for a over seas girl that he would never touch. lol!
If she divorces him does she pay for half the debt? 🤔
Absolutely devastating
omg she needs to leave him.
Easier said than done
Very sad. The fact that it was "online" makes no difference. Betrayal is betrayal. Given the opportunity, it would have quickly been a "physical" affair. He had many opportunities to stop the madness when he was taking out loans and transferring funds to this "woman." Every time he communicated with this person, took out loans, withdrew funds, transferred funds, he could have stopped. He didn't. If she chooses to try to rebuild their marriage, I pray she has someone in her life who can give her sound advice and guidance. She will need it.
I cannot fathom why she would even consider trying to work through this.
wait til he actually meets "her".... it's gonna be a Nigerian or Indian dude catfishing him
lol
‘Til debt do us part
👏👏👏😭😭 or the hoochie mama on insta
Time to part... Bye!
Ahahhaah!!! Amen to that!
Title should read, "Husband Scammed by someone from India posing as a fake woman" Call the banks and let them know he was scammed and see if any insurance company or bank will protect your dollars you had. Then kick your husband out and tell him to go meet as many girls as he wants, HUGE pool of people out there looking for a 68 year old man.
He wanted to be a sugar daddy
Yeah especially a broke 68 year old 😆
Grandpa send their savings to a dude in Nigeria 😱😱😱
lol exactly
At 68, what the flippin' heck was he thinking doing this? Obvious scam, but he had a wandering eye. Totally grounds for divorce, he ruined them. I feel so badly for her and the mess HE created.
I'm so sorry to hear this has happened. I pray that everything works out in her Favor.
You had me at “Husband had an online affair”. 🍿
Nor Nev Clothing 🤣 i know, right
He did all that and never saw the woman in person.. the cat is a powerful thing!
💯
Chris Vandernaald runs the world
For real
Mr. Ramsey I love that you said at the end ifwe can help your marriage Stay together we want to be a part of that but if we can't then we want to help you
How sad! God watch over her, I know she’s destroyed.
My heart just goes out to you Rachel. Dr. Henry Clouds books on Boundaries could really help you walk through this. Specifically "Boundaries with Marriage".
Essential Oil Stories I just ordered your suggested book on kindle, thanks. I’d kill my husband if he did something like this however we can benefit from a good book on boundaries.
@@ShadaeBalancesKnightAstro Oh I'm so glad my suggestion was helpful. I have a friend who wants to borrow my copy of it I have on CD, the audiobook. She's struggling with her hubby and I know there is great hope for them but she needs tools, It's a great tool, especially for really NICE people because nice people sometimes don't know about good healthy boundaries so we improve our relationships. 💪
Leave! He was going to leave you. She said that the alleged woman was coming home to the US, AND? Then what? Sweetie, 68 means he could drop any day and it wouldn’t be weird. Statistically he’s got 10 years or so. Just leave with your dignity.
This woman tricked him out of 150k....really think about that. How the BLEEP can someone be so foolish.
that's nothing, other wives complain to Dave about their husband's being tricked out of 300k
What about the loan? Isn't that another 150?
Husband 10 years older than wife, wife is at home homeschool mom to 7 kids, father is only source of income tells you all you need to know about the dynamics of this relationship.
She was a live in maid and nanny not a wife and mother.
Yep. She cant afford to leave him. That's why she won't leave
I agree. Women can’t just live off of their husband’s income.
Maxine F why? That was common back in the day.
Nothing is wrong with being a SAHM. They seem to like those roles.
This man has took 32 years and thrown it away. He is too cowardly to divorce her and she him. I have 2 words for her, ANTI-FREEZE. - COFFEE. Nuff said.
I can't stop laughing.
He should croak from a heart attack and hopefully he’s well insured.
@@lovethemflowers yeah, well in the mean time grind the beans and have a little Folgers in your cup with a slightly sweet aftertaste....Mmmm
One word : HITMAN.
Hahahaha anti freeze coffee. Thats gold
What kind of scumbag does this to their wife, my god.
Run, woman! He doesn’t deserve you!
Why should she clean up the mess get a attorney take what's left out of the bank and leave take it all and leave
Her husband is a disgrace. Shame on him.
Wow my heart breaks for this woman.
This. Is what happens when you are a stay at home mom. You get used. No offense but I work in finance and I see this everyday.
Used and abused. You have no economic value.
@@ineedhoez Stay at home mom's have more economic value than any other woman in society. They are the ones who bring up the next generation with morals and values instead of letting them be mindless drones taught by the public education system to remain poor and be slaves.
Losat of the Lord they may have economic value in theory, but in actuality, they have nothing once their husbands decide to leave.
Let's call this for what it is: evil. She needs to leave him like yesterday (at that time).
The more videos I watch the more convinced I am to have my own checking account when I get married
There are pros and cons to this: pro: more control over what you buy. Con: it's even easier for a spouse to hid things like affairs or things such as this, harder to budget. I have done both, and for my marriage the best was separate accounts and a joint for household expenses. Sometimes the spouse or yourself are not good with money and the other has to maintain more control. Unfortunately, usually you don't find that out until they make a massive financial mistake. Try to get a credit report before getting married. Their debt will be your debt.
This guy ruined his family's future for a stranger he never met, probably some guy. My wife and I are both 65, we have been married for 41 happy years, and we would never dream of ruining our family's future. This guy doesn't deserve his family.
sounds more like a Dr. Phill problem than a Dave one
Dr. Phil is a phony- could be the one who Catfished him!
The 3RD Rail 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I actually remember watching a Dr phil episode with this same scenario
Kenny aka TI The episode with the American White lady and African black guy?!?
@@ShadaeBalancesKnightAstro no a guy was giving money to some female he met online and the wife found out about it. They got into a lot of debt
Get the best lawyer you can
Best advice yet.
I’d think he’d have to have early stage dementia or something to fall for this mess. Crazy. Big prayers for this woman.
No
That is quite likely!!
He deserves to be left. She’ll be lucky if she gets away and starts over. Otherwise, she’s doomed. She’ll end up physically taking care of him and there will be no one to take care of her.
Set up a GoFundMe. I would help.
I would give her money if she divorced him. In no way would I ever want to help the old man out. No. Way.
I would too
Sounds like he had control of ALL the money...... That's why I have my stash. You just never know.
@Kevin Ziegler
Well... enough not to worry about paying for a divorce and have about 5 months of living expenses.
Praying for her. I was shook hearing the story. It is well
The trust is a gone forever!!! You must divorce him, not only did he take money but also cheated on you? LEAVE!
Dave, sometimes it's best to tell people to let go.
What this "man" did is unforgivable. No amount of marriage councilling will fix these deep-rooted trusted issues. She needs to divorce and move on.
I feel like he was someone telling her leaving wouldn't be a bad idea in this case. He was asking if they were staying together and mentioned the alimony she would get if she left.
This same type of scam happened to my grandmother. :( They kept telling her it was taxes for winning a sweepstakes and she wouldn't listen to her family. How can people be so heartless.
Because that's a completely different situation? This guy thought some hot women wanted him so betrayed his wife and kids.
Heartbreaking. Such a giving selfless woman.
She is an angel! She has taken care of seven adopted children! God bless her! Hope her children will get her out of this financial devastation!
She cant afford to leave either. All of this is just sad.
I don't remember Dave speaking this harshly about the woman that gave a bunch of money to a scammer ...
33years!! Maybe it's better off I stay single
I was married 20years before I left his tail. It was always a battle to keep him from cheating. I finally walked away. Even though I worked more than 2+ jobs and he made good money. We were never able to save anything. He had sold access to daughter's college fund left by grandad and even went thru that. I recently found out about FPU and I'm trying to save up for the class. I'm 52 and trying to get my feet under me again.
Leave him without a single penny and let him beg on the street.
It’s so heartening to see two people - Dave and this woman - still see the value in marriage even after such a betrayal. Everyone in the comments are saying leave and blah blah. Dave even lays out how it would be financially advantageous for her to leave but that he’s willing to help her if she wants to stay.
If you haven’t gone through betrayal, then you shouldn’t tell her what to do. This is her life. It’s her choice to stay. People stay with betrayers for different reasons. Like Dave says, her husband needs some serious treatment. Hopefully he gets it.
He is a very sick man.
How do you get someone to give you money like that...what the heck did she type!!
Leave him now !!!!
What kind of monster does something like that? Unbelievable.
Rachel in Sioux Falls, take the money you are paying for marriage counseling and get your head examined. Surely you must realize that this marriage, and your ‘life as you know it’ are over. Move on.
You need to separate your finances NOW.
She seemed surprisingly calm about the whole thing.
She is in a lot of pain and probably not an overly hysterical person to begin with ..
The calm before the storm.......I think this poor woman is still in shock! God bless her!
My friend just got scammed out of like 3k to a person online. Oldest truck to. Said he was overseas part of peace talks. And stuck there... Needed money to fly home..... I just still can't believe that ANYONE would fall for that garbage!!!!!!
This makes me so mad. When a woman is staying at home to take care of children and gets stuck in this situation. Ugh!
This woman sounds like she’s got a heart of gold. Now she is probably going to have to go to work to pay off his debts
Dave is all high and godly that he would never recommend divorce, even though this women should divorce this man. Divorce his and stick him with his own debt and watch him suffer like he has made you suffer
My heart is broken for this amazing women💛 i can’t imagine.