I used to listen to this as a teen but now I’m older... this ACTUALLY applies to my life. Especially “I’m not a faerie but I need more than this life so I became this creature representing more to you than just another girl and if I had a chance to change my mind, I wouldn’t for the world.” DAMN. That is... pretty much what happened.
Hearing this for the first time as an adult with BPD being afraid to start taking medication to become stable….it hits SO close to home. “20 years sinking slowly…” Damn. Amazing stuff.
She really opens herself truly in her songs, that I can tell. Not many people could put themselves out there, so vulnerable, but she does. Battling with your mental health for years and years.. I'm sure it's something a lot of people can relate to. This is one of my favorite songs, and the line "Twenty years, sinking slowly" always gets to me.
I highly recommends the. Buying the book, Emilie Autumns, Asylum for wayward Victorian girls! Just got it for Xmas and its far far greater and wickedly written and drawn then I had expected. And has so many different things in it and is very long and beautiful. Read my comment above about it! 🍭🐁🍭🐁💕💀💕💀🍭
It makes me think again and again, how many great minds never found peace in life or prolonged happiness. Many great artists, musicians, scientists, or revolutionaries were bipolar or driven by passion and it hardly ever ended well... I guess, when you're happy with your life, you won´t be motivated to go to places no-one else dared to venture or work thrice as hard as the others...
So nice seeing others commenting. Always was my favorite song of hers and I'm still listening to it despite assuming that I'm the only person in hundreds of miles who even knows who she is. Can't even say I'm the biggest fan, couple other songs on this album I like but I love this one.
I found this song in 2009, when I was 19. I thought 'I've never heard anything quite like this'. I remembered this last night for the first time in years. I still haven't heard anything quite like Emilie's music. I also wouldn't say I am a 'fan', but I admire her willingness to insist on her own vision against what's been a lifetime of people who love her talents in one way telling her the things they like in her are incompatible with the things they don't like. She refuses to compromise and I admire it.
Now that I'm older, I realize the lines "You tell me everything's alright, as though it's something you've been through" and "You think this torment is romantic? Well it's not, except to you" are so much like a relevant, subtle dig at the people (mainly "edgy" teenagers) that glamourize mental health issues. And thus this song just became so much more relevant and meaningful to me, a Schizophrenic, dissociative, anxiety ridden 23 year old girl. Still, this song changed my life, it will always be one of my favorites from Emilie
You always in the first time,dont go search any other person make you happy and minder depress because you have all power for domitaded ,you have great strenght for make you life is better,only you know how,i wish all the good viber and light for you Rosethemad. b y e !
Trippy i think i used to see you comment on these videos. Hey i think im where you were, any advice? Bc right now the only thing i can think to do is drink lol
SAME...opheliac was my favorite album in highschool, but I always skipped swallow because I thought it was "boring". Listening to it as an adult I'm realizing that I just didn't GET it yet
I remember have listened Opheliac and Shalott after reading a list about "rock" women in music, so i had to give a long listen to this artist. After Opheliac, second album track is this Swallow. I fell in love instantly.
This song is basically Emilie saying, "Alright, I'll take these pills, "I will swallow", if it will help me(sea level being her manic depression & suicidal tendencies). Even though I don't want to, but I will. But you better fucking hope this works, because if it doesn't, I'm coming for you, & if I die(drown), I'll come back to haunt you." It's a last resort to help her w/ her manic depression that she feels is swallowing her & drowning her. At least that's what I got when she explained the song
A big remote thank you to any fathers, mothers, aunts, uncles, big sisters, little brothers, cousins, friends, teachers, concerned neighbors and others who buy EA music for human beings . . . The lives you save, the souls you reinforce, the good you do… is appreciated!!
Last time i heard this song, i was 15, and in one of the darkest places in my life. Now im almost 22 and the only thing thats changed is whats causing it.
@@INFINITE_AM_RADIO No, it isn't, that's true. But I've been in therapy since I was 8, 17 years later still am in therapy and still traumatized. Doctors have helped the symptoms, but they've never helped me resolve my trauma successfully.
@@INFINITE_AM_RADIO damn, maybe i should tell my therapist, med doctor, and physician that i need to go to the damn doctor. Damn. I wish they would have told me this years ago. Its almost as if you need to go to a damn doctor to even know you have cptsd
This song is so beautiful. I really do understand what she is putting out through the lyrics since I also have the same disorder. Emilie Autumn, thank you for everything you have done. :)
It's talking about Emilie's bipolar disorder (I think that's what she has) and that she struggled with taking her pills, hence the side effects of them and stuff. On facebook, I wrote these lyrics in a status and someone thought it was talking about sex too, haha. xD
I really love how well her songs especially this one embodies(expresses? sympathizes?) My own trust issues and sheer bitterness about some of the shit in my life. Singing along or just listening is an easy way to breath through the feelings without getting so helplessly angry about it
She's so amazing! In every way 💞💀💞 for Christmas I finally got her book, Emilie Autumns, asylum for wayward Victorian girls. Woooow the book is compleltly amazing with real diary entries. Her drawing and scratching all over! I love her lymers leeches, Zoloft makes a girl happy, Wife killer or I can't remember something like wife killer something corsets. With the drawings and very funny fake adds he puts in. Her amazing and bloody cutting diary! I feel like this is my bible bc I "attempted" suicide at 18 and was locked up in a looney bin. It wasn't as ancient as hers is pointed out to be. But I share so many feelings and things that I have gone through with her. Even though they are very unpleasant things. It's comforting to know that the way she was thinking was almost exactly the same way I was too. Used to be a big cutter, and I highly recommend buying the book if your a fan. It has sketches from her, come see these girls, crazy girls, song! It has funeral biscuits recipe.
I read the book a couple years ago and then one day I took it to college with me and realised I actually hadn't finished reading it and there was a whole section at the back that I misses, felt like it grew extra pages because its a magical book.
my doctors give me focolan pills to help me stay focus. but I couldn't feel a thing, just blank. I felt like a puppeteer to my doctors when asking me questions that I don't know anything about. Pissed me and my mother off! She trys to look for a doctor who would understand, and provide me with better information to benefactor my low anger issues for hurting certain people with their immaturity. But I still stand strong. Real strong.💓
Emily Autumn Fritzges (Born 09/22/77) She is the 2nd oldest of 5 children (all of which are still alive). Her mother is world renowned costumer Janice Longmire (still alive as well), who dropped “Fritzges” after a separation from Wolfgang Fritzges, her estranged husband and father of all 5 children, and returned to her birth name “Longmire”. Wolfgang passed away after a brief yet fatal battle with lung cancer in the fall of 2004. EA, who had simply gone by “Autumn” her entire life before taking on her current persona, was the only member of the family who had refused all communication with her father throughout his illness, and did not attend his service. “Liddell” was the married name of EA’s maternal grandmother, who had little to no contact with the family throughout the children’s upbringing. Being that Liddell was actually the step father of Janice Longmire, there is no biological connection between Liddell and EA whatsoever. As for the connection to Alice Liddell, there’s absolutely zero proof, and this was never something that was claimed, promoted, or encouraged within the family. EA’s decision to change her name is strictly cosmetic, and for promotional purposes, as is much of what she claims to be her past. She grew up in the loving environment of a lower-middle class Southern California family. Aside from the separation of her parents, which was handled peacefully and without putting any tension on the children, she experienced a positive upbringing with absolutely zero underlying mental conditions or elements of alienation. EA chose to be home schooled which allowed her to devote nearly all her time to practicing violin and music composition. This was a desire and commitment that was met with no opposition by any members of her family. After repeated attempts to secure recording contracts in Los Angeles throughout her late teens, all ending in failure, EA left her family for a 2 week trip to Chicago in hopes of establishing a deal. This would be the last time her family saw her. Like a child running away from home, EA soon cut off all communication to her family, only reconnecting when in need of money or favor. Her mother, who had already designed and produced all of EA’s original theatrical outfits (pre-fairy wings) was asked to make several more pieces and send them back East. Upon completion of the costumes, all ties were cut and EA began experimenting with vocals, face-painting, falsifying her past, and branding herself as an emotionally and mentally damaged orphan with fictitious accounts of abuse. The singular truth is that EA is a fictional character, with fictional interests, fictional illnesses, and a fictional past. The hordes of fans and followers who’ve spent a great amount of their time idolizing her and researching her past have ultimately done so in vein, to her own amusement, at their expense. It’s an intentionally and maticulously manufactured facade, created to engage a niche market of subculture, after she was unable to secure success in her previous attempts at the world’s larger audience. As weak-minded people observe her stage and social performance as genuine, there exists an underlying insincerity that only manifests from something so forced. Her fans identify with her as an act of fantasy, now turning her self-manufactured success into legitimate success. This is the type of person who updates their own Wikipedia…
Who cares she had a difficult past or not ? Nobody can write about suffering as she writes about it without feeling it. Because her songs really go deep into her listeners' feelings. Maybe almost as deep as it goes into her. You dont need to know theoretical things about how her pain took shape, through what kind of experience, you just need to feel it through her songs. Those speculations bring nothing.
I don't know very much about her or whether or not she's fabricated or hidden parts or a lot of her past. All I know is that her music strikes a chord with me and obviously a lot of other people who've struggled. Plus she's insanely talented so it doesn't really matter to me
Sappho Pique i agree with you. That's all i kept thinking while reading that. Idc if her past is fake no-one can write music so deep on depression like this and not feel it. Trust me, people with out mental illness do not understand it especially on this level. That's why i love her. She's also talented and the way she plays a violin is awesome.
I used to listen to this as a teen but now I’m older... this ACTUALLY applies to my life. Especially “I’m not a faerie but I need more than this life so I became this creature representing more to you than just another girl and if I had a chance to change my mind, I wouldn’t for the world.”
DAMN. That is... pretty much what happened.
i relate to her lyrics sooo much
Hearing this for the first time as an adult with BPD being afraid to start taking medication to become stable….it hits SO close to home. “20 years sinking slowly…” Damn. Amazing stuff.
She really opens herself truly in her songs, that I can tell. Not many people could put themselves out there, so vulnerable, but she does. Battling with your mental health for years and years.. I'm sure it's something a lot of people can relate to. This is one of my favorite songs, and the line "Twenty years, sinking slowly" always gets to me.
+taqu Slowly, sinking slowly. It resonates far too well.
I highly recommends the. Buying the book, Emilie Autumns, Asylum for wayward Victorian girls! Just got it for Xmas and its far far greater and wickedly written and drawn then I had expected. And has so many different things in it and is very long and beautiful. Read my comment above about it! 🍭🐁🍭🐁💕💀💕💀🍭
It makes me think again and again, how many great minds never found peace in life or prolonged happiness. Many great artists, musicians, scientists, or revolutionaries were bipolar or driven by passion and it hardly ever ended well...
I guess, when you're happy with your life, you won´t be motivated to go to places no-one else dared to venture or work thrice as hard as the others...
So nice seeing others commenting. Always was my favorite song of hers and I'm still listening to it despite assuming that I'm the only person in hundreds of miles who even knows who she is. Can't even say I'm the biggest fan, couple other songs on this album I like but I love this one.
I found this song in 2009, when I was 19. I thought 'I've never heard anything quite like this'. I remembered this last night for the first time in years. I still haven't heard anything quite like Emilie's music. I also wouldn't say I am a 'fan', but I admire her willingness to insist on her own vision against what's been a lifetime of people who love her talents in one way telling her the things they like in her are incompatible with the things they don't like. She refuses to compromise and I admire it.
Now that I'm older, I realize the lines "You tell me everything's alright, as though it's something you've been through" and "You think this torment is romantic? Well it's not, except to you" are so much like a relevant, subtle dig at the people (mainly "edgy" teenagers) that glamourize mental health issues. And thus this song just became so much more relevant and meaningful to me, a Schizophrenic, dissociative, anxiety ridden 23 year old girl. Still, this song changed my life, it will always be one of my favorites from Emilie
Much peace to you.
You always in the first time,dont go search any other person make you happy and minder depress because you have all power for domitaded ,you have great strenght for make you life is better,only you know how,i wish all the good viber and light for you Rosethemad. b y e !
The last time I heard this song I was a junior in college with nothing to live for. Now I'm a grown adult. Damn.
Gwynne Belle and how was the trip? :)
Trippy i think i used to see you comment on these videos. Hey i think im where you were, any advice? Bc right now the only thing i can think to do is drink lol
SAME...opheliac was my favorite album in highschool, but I always skipped swallow because I thought it was "boring". Listening to it as an adult I'm realizing that I just didn't GET it yet
@Jessey Ellis I hope you will find a way out of your solitude soon. You can always talk to me if you need to.
The last time I heard this I was 13 years old, secretly crushing on Emilie while having no idea I even had a thing for girls.
That violin outro, though... 💘
Who’s still listening in 2020
2021
2023
@@The_Etchaleon 2023 gang
2024 ♥️
I remember have listened Opheliac and Shalott after reading a list about "rock" women in music, so i had to give a long listen to this artist. After Opheliac, second album track is this Swallow. I fell in love instantly.
This song is basically Emilie saying, "Alright, I'll take these pills, "I will swallow", if it will help me(sea level being her manic depression & suicidal tendencies). Even though I don't want to, but I will. But you better fucking hope this works, because if it doesn't, I'm coming for you, & if I die(drown), I'll come back to haunt you." It's a last resort to help her w/ her manic depression that she feels is swallowing her & drowning her. At least that's what I got when she explained the song
Oh god, of course *some* people just had to do that... I'm not against sexual songs. But please, don't turn serious songs into one! ew
@@MintMovies there's nothing sexual about that interpretation you skimmer...
She's really An ARTIST ; O
A big remote thank you to any fathers, mothers, aunts, uncles, big sisters, little brothers, cousins, friends, teachers, concerned neighbors and others who buy EA music for human beings . . .
The lives you save,
the souls you reinforce,
the good you do…
is appreciated!!
This song meant a lot to me when I was 15 and it still does now.
My ultimate favorite EA song
I love her.
Mine also!!
Last time i heard this song, i was 15, and in one of the darkest places in my life. Now im almost 22 and the only thing thats changed is whats causing it.
@Rachel Fourieyeah, im 23 now and now im an oversharer cus i havent resolved my C- PTSD
Bro if u need to talk about, u can tell me
Go to the damn doctor. Its not cool and hip to stay traumatized.
@@INFINITE_AM_RADIO No, it isn't, that's true. But I've been in therapy since I was 8, 17 years later still am in therapy and still traumatized. Doctors have helped the symptoms, but they've never helped me resolve my trauma successfully.
@@INFINITE_AM_RADIO damn, maybe i should tell my therapist, med doctor, and physician that i need to go to the damn doctor. Damn. I wish they would have told me this years ago. Its almost as if you need to go to a damn doctor to even know you have cptsd
This song is so beautiful. I really do understand what she is putting out through the lyrics since I also have the same disorder. Emilie Autumn, thank you for everything you have done. :)
It's talking about Emilie's bipolar disorder (I think that's what she has) and that she struggled with taking her pills, hence the side effects of them and stuff.
On facebook, I wrote these lyrics in a status and someone thought it was talking about sex too, haha. xD
id love to see an Alice in Wonderland movie with Emilie as the Mad Hatter ^.^
I really love how well her songs especially this one embodies(expresses? sympathizes?) My own trust issues and sheer bitterness about some of the shit in my life. Singing along or just listening is an easy way to breath through the feelings without getting so helplessly angry about it
She's so amazing! In every way 💞💀💞 for Christmas I finally got her book, Emilie Autumns, asylum for wayward Victorian girls. Woooow the book is compleltly amazing with real diary entries. Her drawing and scratching all over! I love her lymers leeches, Zoloft makes a girl happy, Wife killer or I can't remember something like wife killer something corsets. With the drawings and very funny fake adds he puts in. Her amazing and bloody cutting diary! I feel like this is my bible bc I "attempted" suicide at 18 and was locked up in a looney bin. It wasn't as ancient as hers is pointed out to be. But I share so many feelings and things that I have gone through with her. Even though they are very unpleasant things. It's comforting to know that the way she was thinking was almost exactly the same way I was too. Used to be a big cutter, and I highly recommend buying the book if your a fan. It has sketches from her, come see these girls, crazy girls, song! It has funeral biscuits recipe.
I read the book a couple years ago and then one day I took it to college with me and realised I actually hadn't finished reading it and there was a whole section at the back that I misses, felt like it grew extra pages because its a magical book.
I'm crying. so beautiful.
I can't stop listening to this song.I LOVE IT!!
The picture is so cute!!!
Oh lyrics, I always thought she sang ''if it will help my fear level go down''. Makes much more sense now :)
How beautiful she is・・・
10 years ago since last time I heard this song.Now im almost 25
Quite appropriately I was listening to this song in the pouring rain
Words cannot say what this song means to me. Dear gods and goddesses, let this Covid bullshit end soon for I need to try and see Emilie Autumn live.
The song is about her manic depression and her struggle with the medication.
i forgot all about this song, i orget when and where i heard it from but the minute i saw emilie autumn's name i knew i heard them from somewhere c:
my doctors give me focolan pills to help me stay focus. but I couldn't feel a thing, just blank. I felt like a puppeteer to my doctors when asking me questions that I don't know anything about. Pissed me and my mother off! She trys to look for a doctor who would understand, and provide me with better information to benefactor my low anger issues for hurting certain people with their immaturity. But I still stand strong. Real strong.💓
I wance wrote a pome about this before years ago in [2012]*
Before I ever heard of The Asylum, I totally thought this was about something dirty. Haha >_
didn't we all? XD
I always knew it was about pills or something, but my dirty mind still thinks of it as something dirty too XD
It sort of goes with her Ophelia analogy though, talking about "I will haunt you if I drown."
2023 you will always be my one true love Emilie.
love this song
This is my mums ringtone and it sounds weird to hear it as a song and not think that her phone is ringing
Your mom sounds awesome :)
It’s been my ringtone too from 2012 till 2014 look out for your mom ❤
Me right now..ill take the pill if it keeps me from drowning
true true
Atleast we know the answer to that question hue hue hue.
Karis Braithwaite It's joyous fun.
KaY cEE It's a joke
I know its a joke but there's a time and a place and this isn't it.
+Arthur Whyte pff
ohhhhhhhh thank you
Omfg I haven't heard this since like 2011 holy shit.
everything sounds so magical when you're young
and then you grow up, and your mind lives in the gutter so this song gets the most giggles
i love the song but lol i dont get it but it rockss thoo culd someone explain to me wat the song means pweasee
hermosa :)
Trying to figure out if that's a tiny cat in that tea cup.
I believe it's a mouse. Lol
It's a rat. A cute one it seems. Look at its curious perked up ears! It's saying "I see a hoomans. Hai hoomans!"
Yeah I think its a rat because of the whole plague rats thing, its adorable either way.
VampyTheRaidioactiveWolf it's her rat
It a mouse
can anyone tell me what the lyrics mean?
Is that a cat in the tea cup?
jokerswarpig That would have to be a big ass cup to hold a Cat haha It's a Rat.
Emily Autumn Fritzges (Born 09/22/77)
She is the 2nd oldest of 5 children (all of which are still alive). Her mother is world renowned costumer Janice Longmire (still alive as well), who dropped “Fritzges” after a separation from Wolfgang Fritzges, her estranged husband and father of all 5 children, and returned to her birth name “Longmire”. Wolfgang passed away after a brief yet fatal battle with lung cancer in the fall of 2004. EA, who had simply gone by “Autumn” her entire life before taking on her current persona, was the only member of the family who had refused all communication with her father throughout his illness, and did not attend his service. “Liddell” was the married name of EA’s maternal grandmother, who had little to no contact with the family throughout the children’s upbringing. Being that Liddell was actually the step father of Janice Longmire, there is no biological connection between Liddell and EA whatsoever. As for the connection to Alice Liddell, there’s absolutely zero proof, and this was never something that was claimed, promoted, or encouraged within the family. EA’s decision to change her name is strictly cosmetic, and for promotional purposes, as is much of what she claims to be her past. She grew up in the loving environment of a lower-middle class Southern California family. Aside from the separation of her parents, which was handled peacefully and without putting any tension on the children, she experienced a positive upbringing with absolutely zero underlying mental conditions or elements of alienation. EA chose to be home schooled which allowed her to devote nearly all her time to practicing violin and music composition. This was a desire and commitment that was met with no opposition by any members of her family. After repeated attempts to secure recording contracts in Los Angeles throughout her late teens, all ending in failure, EA left her family for a 2 week trip to Chicago in hopes of establishing a deal. This would be the last time her family saw her. Like a child running away from home, EA soon cut off all communication to her family, only reconnecting when in need of money or favor. Her mother, who had already designed and produced all of EA’s original theatrical outfits (pre-fairy wings) was asked to make several more pieces and send them back East. Upon completion of the costumes, all ties were cut and EA began experimenting with vocals, face-painting, falsifying her past, and branding herself as an emotionally and mentally damaged orphan with fictitious accounts of abuse. The singular truth is that EA is a fictional character, with fictional interests, fictional illnesses, and a fictional past. The hordes of fans and followers who’ve spent a great amount of their time idolizing her and researching her past have ultimately done so in vein, to her own amusement, at their expense. It’s an intentionally and maticulously manufactured facade, created to engage a niche market of subculture, after she was unable to secure success in her previous attempts at the world’s larger audience. As weak-minded people observe her stage and social performance as genuine, there exists an underlying insincerity that only manifests from something so forced. Her fans identify with her as an act of fantasy, now turning her self-manufactured success into legitimate success. This is the type of person who updates their own Wikipedia…
I Never said this was The real Emilie Autumn, I'm spreading it around To see if i can get Information about her.
*****
Her birth certificate.
Who cares she had a difficult past or not ? Nobody can write about suffering as she writes about it without feeling it. Because her songs really go deep into her listeners' feelings. Maybe almost as deep as it goes into her. You dont need to know theoretical things about how her pain took shape, through what kind of experience, you just need to feel it through her songs. Those speculations bring nothing.
I don't know very much about her or whether or not she's fabricated or hidden parts or a lot of her past. All I know is that her music strikes a chord with me and obviously a lot of other people who've struggled. Plus she's insanely talented so it doesn't really matter to me
Sappho Pique i agree with you. That's all i kept thinking while reading that. Idc if her past is fake no-one can write music so deep on depression like this and not feel it. Trust me, people with out mental illness do not understand it especially on this level. That's why i love her. She's also talented and the way she plays a violin is awesome.
hermosa *_*
The title sounds like a really wrong one.. sorry.. but the song is overal nice
The only because you have dirty mind 😞
but they did they all agreed oh how i spear
Como ti!
Is she trying to drink a gerbil?
It's a rat!!
Tiktok before tiktok existed amazing
hey Johnny! listen to this it from Emilie's Opheliac Companion (no one explains it better than Emilie Herself) /watch?v=exqxTreDJ5I
Well, yes, but I was just trying to be funny. (Did I fail?)
uhh i dunno her but just searched the song and listened again. Is it talking about sex? XD