Facts, my Aunt died today and it's all because her heavy Alcoholism and drug use, I don't talk much to my Aunts on that side of the family because only 2 of them ever treated my family good, but my older Aunt got her smoking at 12, she introduced Alchol to her by 15 and I believe my Dad said she was caught shooting up heroin by the time she was 17, and my other Aunt who I don't talk to encouraged it and would help her buy the drugs and alchol and now the addiction got to her, she made it to 62 but had she been able to get help maybe she would've gone longer, I just wished I could've been a better family member and tried to help her or at least tried to talk to her more than once every few years instead of abandoning her, but it's too late now.
Been clean 4 year now and I'm never going back to that hell ever again and i pray for all those who still struggle with addiction.. there is hope. God Bless You all
"Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you" , this sentence hits so deep. My first love and I spent our whole teens together and in the end I had to force her away cause I knew I would only drag her life down with mine and cost her so much opportunity. It worked and after 10 years she still has me blocked and removed from her life but she's doing so wonderful in her life. It so painful to do and even to this day I still love her so much but I know I can never go back into her life.
As of someone who identifies more to this song now than ever bc of the guy I love ending things "bc I deserve more" let me tell you when you love someone never do that again if you think something is wrong talk and try and fix it. You may think theyre better off but trust me it is absolute hell
I understand more than you could ever believe I've done the same and I still think of him daily but I know I had to make him hate me for him to ever have a real life .....
My mom showed me this song while in recovery but unfortunately lost her battle to addiction in March, I will forever scream and sob this at the top of my lungs just for you ♥️
I'm so sorry your mom lost her battle with addiction. It is a miserable one. I am a recovering addict. I played this song for my mom 15 years ago because I knew how much I was killing her. No words can really comfort but if they could, I'd say them to you.
Sending you love. My mother was a addict. She passed two years ago. Shit hurts. She would be sober almost nine years. I miss her everyday. She used to love this song too. I hope your momma found peace. But I'm so sorry. My heart break's for you.😭💕
This song really hits hard I'm in recovery now since April 27th of this year and I know I put my mother through hell and she hates me and it hurts so much for all the wrong I've done I wish I got to do it and make it right
I just despise myself for what i put my parents through in active addiction. It's been almost 19 months sober now and for me? The absolute hardest thing is letting go of that shame and guilt.
@@williamrickettsii7453 they did it because they love you, so forgive yourself, you are worthy and and a better person because you're not there anymore. ❤
I have 3 sons and I'm dying inside watching them do this to themselves. I am a recovering addict as well and knowing what they actually are going through in every way breaks my heart to pieces. So glad your son finally saw the light! That has to be amazing for you!
This song means something different to everyone. And it all fucking hurts. If you ever feel like for whatever reason your parents couldn't bring themselves to love you, just know you're not alone out there.
My girlfriend and I found this song the other day on a road trip to see my family. My beautiful partner who is a recovering alcoholic and I both cried hearing it. Thinking about when she was in active addiction and how that hurt me, our relationship, her mental health, etc. it almost broke us and she knew that. There was a time where she wished I could just hate her and leave her behind like the song says. But I never could. She realized what it was doing to us. Us as a couple, my well-being, and hers. After almost ruining us, just like the song, I’m proud to say that she has put down that toxic bottle. I just want to let everyone struggling right now know that it’s going to be hard, and it will take time, but you can do it. And it’s so fucking worth it. To all of you out there in recovery or struggling, I’m so fucking proud of you. And to my love who overcame these feelings in the song, I will ALWAYS love you
@@davidrohr2592 recovery isn’t linear, and she’s had some set backs here and there. But I’m still proud to say that she has NEVER reverted back to the way it was, even in her darkest moments since. Life is always hard, but we’re still here, doing better every single day❤️ if you don’t have relapses you’re doing amazing, and if you do have relapses you’re still doing amazing. This life shit is fucking hard, ESPECIALLY when you’re also battling addiction. So If you are able to pick yourself back up and keep going in the direction of recovery, you are doing AMAZING, and you should be proud of yourself. Always.
The phone call tightens up my face and throat, the first verse I'm crying. This song is very relatable and so deep. I hope the fellow who wrote it finds his way. I hope you all find your way as well.
Justin is from the area of Texas that I live in. He lost his mother to cancer and that is why he wrote the song, for her. He was a raging addict and felt he needed to get clean when his mother passed. He did and like suddenly made it big with his band. He has the same struggles as an addiction but he is doing well these days. I wish him all the best and hope he can continue to write these incredible songs.
This song always makes me tear up. Mom died when I was 14. I was already on drugs and not a great son. Wish she could've seen me clean and doing well. Most of all I wish she could've met the grandson she has now
I'm one of the lucky few that survived a serious heroin addiction and my wife stayed by my side regardless of how impossible I was to deal with. My own parents told her to leave me and she refused. 5 years sober now and we are the happiest we've ever been. Dont give up hope people there's always a way though the dark.
@@christiangilley527 You manifest what you believe, believe in what you want out of life, believe in a better life, a better future. Just imagine you can have anything you truly wanted, what fulfills you, you just have to do everything you possibly can to increase the probability of it happening. Do your part, life is a balance in all aspects. And hey, if you did relapse you can self correct, understand you can't increase your wellbeing through decreasing your faculties. Devout the time and energy into your wellbeing.
I'm sorry your own blood gave up on you so easily. That's wow so unbelievably ignorant. Im speaking from experience my mother has struggled with drugs since I was 3 and her parents never gave up on her and never abandoned her even though she failed every program and they released she would always be an addict but thank god she had a lot of sober days which we cherished. It's A lot for those who have family members that are addicts it's a lot for them to deal with it's a hard time it's a hard life but thank god your girlfriend stood by you. I'm so proud for you I'm so happy for you guys my heart goes out to you and you know the truth is Some people are just not strong enough to stand by addicts and I think that's probably what happened with your parents either that or they Really did not want to and perhaps they were ignorant and think all addicts are the same and less than those who don't have to suffer from such a powerful (probably the most powerful mental illness)..its a non bias mental illness it can effect anyone its not picky.. Doesn't care who you are once its catches its hooks on for dear life. I am greatful for the attention mental illness is finally getting , fuck it took way too long and its a huge failure on society as a whole. So many deaths so many people suffering. How many Centuries did take to really just admit were human. A lot sets us apart from fellow life forms we share this planet mental illness is definitely ONE of them!!
Jammed this at the absolute worst time in my life, deep in addiction, playing it now sober, and beyond happy it hits different. 3 1/2 years clean ,and i couldn't have done it without my beautiful girlfriend 🥰
I keep hearing that but fuck man. Idk what to do. At what point do you just say I’m so far down this hole I might as well let em bury me in it. But I really am happy for you.
@@user-tr9nj6ki8u When you're thinking of letting it swallow you that's the sign to start fighting back. I wish you the best of luck, it's not easy that's for sure, but it's worth it.
This hits hard, having trouble letting go of my late father, seems like I’m gonna relive what happened every freaking day, never fails 😔 Whoever’s going through a rough time it’s gonna be okay, we’re all in this together 👊🏼
Whenever I hear this song I just want to go kneel before my wife in the most profound gratitude for all she’s done for me to help me out of the darkness I’ve lived in. She has, and will forever have my absolute loyalty.
That’s wonderful. Sometimes we do all we can for the one we love and they find things both real and lies to blame us for their use. It’s a feeling of pure hell. So good to know you love and appreciate all she has been for you
Just love her, be grateful and show it with actions....get out of your way for the little things she may want.... we do notice all the little things...
I really wish my husband could understand that I truly LOVE him and ONLY HIM! And that I'm completely sincere when I tell him that I would do ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING for him, and that I've ALWAYS been loyal and faithful and will ALWAYS IN ALL WAYS!!
@@tiffanybrantley-lovelace818 Well I don't know if your husband or not in that really none of my business but I will tell you that from personal experience depending on what kind of drug is it can rewire your brain permanently and I mean that literally Ness is a big one and it was my drug of choice for 3 years. Now 3 years isn't necessarily long term use compared to a lot of other people I know who have been on it but 3 years when 2 of those 3 were spent with only a combined total of 8 days sober out of 2 years then It can have permanent effects and make you more jealous and paranoid really
struggling with addiction since 13. struggling with depression since I can remember. I woke today and chose life. keep pushing to find a reason to take another breath.
Oh check there whole album they all express strong emotional feeling that we all relate to Listen to Into the Ocean or Ugly Side. Beautiful and strong right in the feels
You are loved my friends, it may not seem like it now and the world is cruel. You gotta brush yourself off and fight for it, work for it and I promise you that everything will work out. Much love.
My cousin passed away some years ago now. Some time before she passed she gave me a phone that still had a bunch of her music on it. Blue October was one of the bands that I discovered within it. Amongst many other songs and artists she accidentally introduced me to of course. I can't thank her enough. I've cried to so many of them, and laughed, and wept, and danced. Wherever you are Kacy, I hope you're happier there ❤️ thank you for being more of the aunt I needed than a cousin, even when you can't be here in person. Thank you for a playlist that could touch my heart, I think about you when i hear these songs 💕
Me and my mother never really got along.... had to force an I love you out of her. Found her dead from an overdose one day. She always told me she was gonna find me dead from the same thing. Been clean 14 years now and have a beautiful wife and daughter. But Justin and Blue October have got me through some very rough patches and I truly thank them for that.
In her own way, she did love you. I'm glad you overcame everything, and I'm proud for your accomplishments! I'm sure your children feel very loved and grateful to have a family like yours.
"Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be. Then she whispered 'How could you do this to me?'" Yep... Four years of sobriety and it still echoes in my mind when I wake up.
God I want to cry hearing this. 13 years has gone so fast, im an adult... my best friends arent, my father is gone, I work a job i love... but I would give anything to go back. Back to the homework, back to my dad having a snack around.. back to before I used. Love your family. I dont give a shit how corny this is. go hug your mom, your dad... the brother or sister you're mad at... cousin you dont see. God damn it goes so fast. Love well, and live well. Enjoy your life.
Jesus, im in a very introspective state of mind and have lost people close to me lately, 2 people, and reading this is making me feel out of breath.... idk wher im going, ive fought addiction for soo long, i wana cry because i love my family so much it hurts...that ive fucked up and twisted myself into a helpless man, wanting to just sleep life away. But i cant. I have to fight. God give me the strength to fight.
Wow, I thought the song was sad, then I read through some of the comments. My heart breaks for each of you. I hope things get better for you guys. May you all find the strength and courage to love and live for others again.
I grew up loving this song, but never really FELT this song until I almost lost my son to addiction. My first born who taught me how to be a mother battling something I nor his father could make better. The countless nights praying he was safe and I would wait to hear from him the next day. The days I prayed he would eat. The time I felt relief when he was in jail because he wouldn't be out in the elements. The horror I felt when I got a text of him sharing his location "just in case" anyone needed to know the last address he was at. And now, the happiness I feel with him finally happy in his own skin, sober, productive, and about to be a father. I pray he makes the daily choice to be here for the people he loves and especially for himself and the wonderful life he's built.
I'm sober now for three whole months that's one accomplishment that you helped me with the one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won't touch again - mood
Beautiful array of words . Nobody can say it any bolder better perfect eloquently lol then this right here!. Cheers to the hell you all have pulled ur selfs out of. I dove in broken I'm coming out whole!.
This song was such a profound influence on my relationship with my mother, through my youth, my journey to sobriety, her struggles to navigate her own journey, and her death. This song means SO much to me for so many reasons.
For me it’s the toxic relationship, she was perfect, but I was absolutely horrible, and even though she didn’t know it I was dealing with alcoholism. Now she’s happy and that makes me feel better.
For all the sober ppl: this ain't no save a hoe For all the non sober ppl: PS, for the ish I do for a living: y'all would be so proud. Prob not for my vocab but u know, I try Sigh rip mom/"mommy"
I’ve never felt with addiction or heartbreak in such a way, but the voice and the tone of this song speaks volumes. Every verse is full of heart wrenching sorrow, and it hits hard. To all of those who can relate to this song, I hope things have gotten so much better and easier.
God I miss the 2000's rock music. Songs that actually had a story to them and carried weight. I'm sure the music that comes out today is also good, but it's not something I can get into. I just miss early and mid 2000's rock so much.
Holy sh**... I remember when this came out when I was in middle school. I'm 30 years old now. Life has a really harsh way of changing a person. I wish I didn't grow to understand this song in the way that I do now.
this song is the song i've been playing for an hour on loop now. i love my husband so much, he's made my life so worth living and rescued me from my darkest time. his addiction wasn't an issue until I understand how much it is tearing us apart. i myself have addiction issues and end up hurting him too, but he always is by my side no matter how hurt he is. i don't know what I can do for him while I'm watching him fall apart and he pretends to be okay. he's truly the only thing that makes me know what happiness is like.
I dedicate this song to my estranged mother. Never really knew her even though we lived together for most of my childhood life, she was rarely home but when she was, we would always bud heads. Really wish I was better to her back then because she was always out working trying to feed us but ig I was just mad she neglected us. Hope you're doing better mom.
This song makes me realize how truly toxic I am to others and the neverending ache for everyone around me to hate me. I'm too afraid to walk away and they're too kind.
no matter what i do or what i say..no matter how hard i try i hurt the people i love. its the worst feeling. i deserve to feel so much pain for it..i want them to hate me the way i hate myself. i want them to kick me and punch me and scream about how awful i am because i know i deserve it
@@403l2-g4j so right after I wrote this comment. I went on medication to help with my anxiety and depression. It doesn't fix everything, but it helps me get up in the morning and I'm able to forgive myself for the things I've done and I've realized that the people I love have hurt me too, but we all find people worth hurting for and live with them. And that self hatred isn't healthy. There was one point in my life where I wanted people to hate me so bad, I practically begged for a fight and that isn't something I should or would ever want again. It's toxic for me and the people I care about. I'm just trying to make a point that you should probably seek help from a therapist or psychiatrist. Meds aren't for everyone but it sure does help me. I wish you luck on your recovery journey.
@@angryartist3170 ive been on so many meds and no one knows whats wrong with me lmao im just fucked up yk..im really glad you're doing better tho,, i hope you keep doing good
@@403l2-g4j I mean it's possible to get better without being on meds. I've done it before, but quarantine got to me and messed up my entire routine. I'm just tryna say is to just keep pushing. It's cheesy but it's true
Honestly my love for music came from my mom, having the ability to sit down talk and listen to music with meaningful lyrics. That she was always there for me, I honestly don't tell her "I love you" enough, but I love you mom thank you for the way you've made me
@@VioletEmerald Yes but it is incorrect say the times were "simpler" than today. Neither did I have responsibilities back then but I still saw many tragedies that occurred during that time period.
Having a parent with an opiate addiction and several mental disorders this song hit hard i remember my mom saying this was her song to her daughters and its been a while since i listened to it because it always made me cry I never looked up the lyrics until now and i balled like a baby because i can see that my mom was hurting and needed us to guide her but when we did try to help her she would become irate and refused help until she got the call back home on April 3rd 2018
Sometimes the people you love are the ones you hurt the most. This song is a great reminder that if you have the time to make amends, do it. Before its to late. But mean it.
Thanks for uploading the shorter yet uncensored version of the song! There's a lame one labeled best version that's censored. THIS is the best version.
When you admit your faults and feel someone else's pain it's one of the most beautifully bitter sweet experiences in life.....hold your heart to the heart of the world and let it beat for those in pain
My mother is 76 years old just battled cancer now is in the hospital with pneumonia and has a weak heart because of all the chemotherapy and my daughter 30 years old just died.... no matter how much I pushed my mother away she was always on my voicemail every single f****** day and still is my heart is broken so badly I just cannot fix it
I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. And I really am happy knowing you have been happy and achieving your goals all of these years. Thank you for everything. You have been my greatest teacher. Life is so crazy. Maybe in our next lives.
It been 6 months since I said my last goodbye to my mom. I hope she have found the peace I couldn't give her while she was alive. She never gave up hope for me and my addiction and demons I had. I love you mom, I'll be okay.
I’ve had a heroin addiction since my early twenties. I’ve relapsed so many times. And the one person who was always there who never judged me and always made me feel so strong, is my mom. She still to this day is here for me, and always checks on me and cares for me. This song makes me cry, thinking about all the pain that I put us through. I love you so much mom.
Grew up listening to this my childhood was filled with vile memories of sexual abuse and being beaten. I have listened to this song since I was 9 years old. Alcoholism & substance abuse are key chapters in my life. It’s easy to fill your heart with loss & hate but there is always something that can make it worthwhile, for me it’s my husband he took the time to help me to get to know me to look past the outside and look within. If someone you love can look within and see value you have value and are loved.
No matter what happened in the past you can always come out of it stronger than you ever were I can say I never really had my parents in my life which I had a major impact on me I am still struggling with depression trust issues a fear of a abandonment and anxiety you have support no matter what stay strong and in this world.
I owe my life to my wife without her i wouldnt be here to see my 2 beautiful children growing into the young adults they are .. When i was so far down and literally lost everything and gave up everything i owned and worked for chasing that next high , she never ever turned a cheek on me when i didnt even deserve to be in her presence.She deserved so much more than what i put her and our family through and luckily i seen that and changed.. It was hardest thing ive ever done and still do but almost at 10 year mark clean and about to celebrate our 28th year anniversary together..Thank you cindi marie for never giving up on me..❤
I have homeless son who is missing & this song reminds me of him. He says similar things to me. What i don't understand that he doesn't seem to get is, that i could never hate him and no way I could ever forget him. I love him so much.
The VERY first Blue October song i ever heard, back in the 2000s on the alt rock radio! As i aged i had forgotten who they were and was re-exposed through songs like 'The Weatherman' and 'Oh My My!'. Makes me happy to know theyre still going strong
Man I've had a disturbed life. I've seen some effed up things, and unfortunately gone into addiction myself. I love this song, I know it applies to a lot of people but it sure hits home with me. Cheers my friends
Back here to remember where I've been and to tell anyone who might be in the same boat as I was that there is hope and no matter how helpless it seems to fight. Much love.
I was once married but after 3 years she walked out on me , and at 1st I placed the blame on her , and carried resentment for years , until I had to take a real look at the part I played and I was big time at fault for our marriage failure, so this song I dedicated it to her , and ask for forgiveness for all the things I did wrong and didn't do in our relationship! We have 3 beautiful kids together so our relationship is better than ever, but after my life spiraled out of control because of drug addiction it was the best decision she could have made to leave me , so I thank her for giving that wake up call! So this song hits home big time, she even helped me get sober by taking me to the hospital and never stopped being my friend so this song word for word expresses everything I wanted to tell her! Thank you for sharing it!!
Hate Me is my song to self. My warning to others to not go there with me. To wish my name never existed. To wish my memories never taint another. I am my own worst enemy. Miles alone solo driving is my life. I have known so many honest people who genuinely loved me for me...unfortunately time changes them and me. Never lasts. And memories with songs is the only booze I need these days. Crying. Grieving. Hating myself. And knowing tommorrow will be more tolerable. Being a man must be easy. Tune out and ignore whatever to keep from feeling anything. While ladies - we carry not just ours - but everyone else around us! So wish I had that nothing box that men have to just tune off and turn off what life feels like 😢😢
Surely the line is “loved”, past tense? When he sings… “And will you never say that you love me, just to put it in my face?” It changes the meaning a lot… And will you never say that you Loved Me, just to put it in my face…. Makes so much more sense to me…. And, obviously, hits home. I love this song. Thank you for uploading.
As somebody with an addict father who still isn't sober, to anybody who IS finally sober, and still feels guilty; you're doing good. I can't express how much I wish he'd try for me like you try for your babies. They love you, they're proud of you, and it's okay. ❤
I actually cried when my mom showed me this song because ive been suicidal and had suicidal thoughts. When i heard this song i actually started crying so much.
I just stopped being suicidal a few months ago and I feel bad that I could have hurt others badly but the Lord helped me get through it and he'll do the same for you
Ive heard this song once before, 2017 pa adult & teen challenge in Rehersberg Pa when i was at rehab the last time. We did some music reflection group and this dude chose this song and when i read the lyrics i was like oh damn this speaks volumes...me and my wife are both coming up on 7 years clean in august... This song was in my dream last night so i looked it up and here i am
I remember even this came out in 2006. You think you've grown until you hear this again and realize you haven't moved that far from what's hidden under the facade 17 years later
I can listen to this song but every time I try to sing it a big lump forms in my throat and I can’t make it through a verse I cry every time. Heavy shit.
I was an addict, not being wanted by my parents, family, girl, friends, I mean so far away from society, but this distance make me realized, how, lonely I'm snd I need help... With little courage I came up, enter rehab, and it's been many yrs I'm happy again. This song will always be my inspiration... Truly songs do change perspective..
Sarah, im sorry for everything i did to you, i know i was everything to you and i tore you apart for 5 years, all the damage i did to you, you were still loyal to me till the day i left you. i wish i never did, but thats life. This song is a perfect example of what we were. " ill love you to the moon and back".
I love that i found this song again, walked in a store and it came on. It brought back memories that i never thought i see again. I almost cried in the store hearing the song. Im 25 years old and i listened to this song when i was a kid, so what i experienced was a childhood song, but id only listened to this song on the radio. I'm so happy i got to find a little part of me that i thought i lost.
For all of you , for the bravery and openness to share your experiences and your deep hurt , thank you , for helping to ignite understanding that we aren't always as alone as we feel . For all of you and myself, I wish peace.
I used to listen to this song and think about my mom as I was battling depression and addiction. I’m 8 years clean and now have a great relationship with my mom. She battling cancer and I’m thankful I’m here and that I’m here for her to help her as much as helped me through those hard times.
I dedicate this to my mom, ive been continuously relapsing and she's always there and always believes in me. I'm sorry I'm not getting better. I wish she could leave me and see how much she deserves. I love you mom. I'm sorry.
This song brings me tears listening to it now after experiencing my fiancé being an addict. SO many times he did me wrong. SO many lies. SO much deceit. But that was before I knew about his addiction. After I found out, I wanted to be there for him, make him better. I wanted him to know that we (myself and our 1 year old daughter) love him very much. Addicts go through so much those of us who are sober cannot comprehend. He's been sober now for years with occasional struggles but no matter what becomes of us, I will always make sure he's ok. Nobody wants to suffer with a life of addiction.
I’m sober now for 5 whole months!! Feels so good too!! My mom finally told me she’s proud of me the other day… this song gets me crying like a baby every time 😭. Love it so
I've been sober for almost 5 years now. I needed it bad. Not 1 single person said good job or they were proud. Nobody understood my struggle. Such a lonely feeling.
Very powerful song . Broke through whatever front I put up. Made me apreciate my Mother Wife and everything else ...after they left me.Only tears were left.only tears were able to console me and clean my soul . God Bless Con Safos.
I spent 7 years with a girl who I loved dearly. We split up almost 6 months ago and I’ve been working on myself. I never realized how toxic I was to her how manipulative I was. I miss her so much. My heart aches every time I think of her. She was my rock and my foundation. She was there for me when my mother passed unexpectedly do to a blood clot. She has me blocked on everything. I hope she’s doing well. I still look back on those days and wonder how I let such an amazing person slip away from me. Why was I so ignorant and stupid? I know for a fact she hates me. It burns like a hot ash on my skin. We were planning on getting married and having a family. I just don’t know if I’ll ever be able to move on. She moved on so easily but that’s understandable due to what I put her through. The emotional torments I gave her and all of my jealousy. I hope one day she sees I’ve changed for the better. I know I’ll never have her again as my love. We were just kids when we got together. I feel so lost and when I hear this song it just reminds me of my failure of a man to her. I was supposed to trust and love her unconditionally and I couldn’t. My depression from the loss of my mother got the worst of me. She begged me to go to therapy. I wouldn’t. She begged me to stop hurting myself and I wouldn’t. She begged me to stop getting so upset at the little things and I just fucking wouldn’t. I was smoking weed all the time and wouldn’t care about anything unless I had it. I was drinking my sadness away every night. I’m sober now. Almost 4 months sober to be exact. I work out and seek therapy often. I dedicate my time and effort into bettering myself every day whether it be work or the gym. I miss her. She was my backbone and I let it all slip away. They say move on and try to find someone that will love me again but it’s hard to move on from your first true love. Her family took me in like I was one of them, we would spend Christmas and thanksgiving together and they didn’t necessarily love me the way she did but they accepted me for me. Now I’ll be spending it alone this year. The point of this rant is to love and treat your significant other with the care and happiness they want. Don’t let them slip away like I did. If they want you to change try to change. It’s truly one of the worst feelings in the world to lose the love of your life due to your own mistakes. I’ll regret it till the day I die. I miss you Jasmine. I’ll love you forever mi amor. I’m so sorry for everything I put you through.
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry and I hope you are okay, I met someone I fell in love with for the first time in forever and she is doing so well and she caught me using, I think I lost her for good and the absolute agony I feel is unbearable, I don't know how to mo e forward alone again
How do people not. It’s about an abusive depression addicted boyfriend who’s trying to get over everything do his gf will come back but he knows she will always hate him
@@PineMountainMusician I'd say that it's actually about someone struggling with addiction and seeing what it is doing to their relationship. Seeing how their significant other is doing everything they can to help but the addiction continues to control their life. Wishing he could stop and telling them that they should hate him because all he causes is pain. I speak from experience that directly relates to that very situation.
The message at the beginning of the song is from his mother- reminding him to take his medication- he is battling mental illness w severe depression- wrapped into addiction- he is begging for his girl to hate him because he is always hurting her and he doesn’t want to hurt her anymore- and he knows that she loves him- he realizes he is not good for her.
First verse I thought was about how she cheated on him... “playing reels in my head that make a porno feel like home” Second verse I thought was about his addiction. Idk
😢 every time I hear this song it reminds me of me on all what I’m going through right now but the grace of God I’m here every time I listen to this song. Remind me what I was gonna do but here I am a lot today thank you to my best friend Pancho, I love you man
This one hits right in the feels as it always had for me since it was released. I've always thought my life was sh*t cuz of how people treated me and how I was never good enough. But when I tasted the good life, I tried to take advantage of it like it was owed to me. I made a blue eyed girl cry plenty of times. I thought I was doing the right thing but what I was doing was treating the great ones like how everyone treated me. I didn't deserve her. I still don't. So this song reminds me of how, sometimes you gotta have the other person hate you in order to move on cuz you won't hate them. You can't. So for me, it's bittersweet. I relate to the pain but I also relate to the destruction caused after for holding on too long. Sometimes, we're our own worst enemies and music is our only friend. Be safe y'all ✌🏼
Shit u might be my ex lol. I think of him every time I listen to this song. He was the one though who was trying to stop the fight inside me. I love him even still today and I always will.
@@trillyfly7805 unfortunately, the struggle is real and I still feel the same about her. One day we'll be ok. Until that day, we remain the best broken self we can be until we find the one that's gonna pick up the pieces that we can't anymore. Stay strong, music is always there for you
I've been broken. Heart and soul. But I never let anyone take the good out of me. These people that did me wrong are still happy after all the mess. So to that, they can be happy but can never be REAL.. I thank God he made me this way. I ain't perfect but I know...... I'm definitely worth it.
Looking back I remember watching my ex sing this song word for word w/ so much intensity. I regret not being a better listener. If I had a chance for a “do over” I would ask “What do u feel when you hear this song”? And I would wait w/open ears & a closed mouth all night long if that’s what it took for him to feel comfortable enough to share🙏🏻
This song makes me cry even though its an amazing song. Who is listening to this in 2024
😢
I am
🙋🏻♀️
Did the same to me today
I am
Addicts/addiction is one of the worst things for a person/family to experience. Hats off to the sober!! #STAYSTRONG
Facts, my Aunt died today and it's all because her heavy Alcoholism and drug use, I don't talk much to my Aunts on that side of the family because only 2 of them ever treated my family good, but my older Aunt got her smoking at 12, she introduced Alchol to her by 15 and I believe my Dad said she was caught shooting up heroin by the time she was 17, and my other Aunt who I don't talk to encouraged it and would help her buy the drugs and alchol and now the addiction got to her, she made it to 62 but had she been able to get help maybe she would've gone longer, I just wished I could've been a better family member and tried to help her or at least tried to talk to her more than once every few years instead of abandoning her, but it's too late now.
Been clean 4 year now and I'm never going back to that hell ever again and i pray for all those who still struggle with addiction.. there is hope. God Bless You all
Addiction is the ONLY prison I know of that have the keys on the inside ~ John Sanders
Im 3 months sober but my husband continues to struggle so It hurts me to have to love him from distance and just pray he gets better one day.
Thanks bro
"Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you" , this sentence hits so deep. My first love and I spent our whole teens together and in the end I had to force her away cause I knew I would only drag her life down with mine and cost her so much opportunity. It worked and after 10 years she still has me blocked and removed from her life but she's doing so wonderful in her life. It so painful to do and even to this day I still love her so much but I know I can never go back into her life.
As of someone who identifies more to this song now than ever bc of the guy I love ending things "bc I deserve more" let me tell you when you love someone never do that again if you think something is wrong talk and try and fix it.
You may think theyre better off but trust me it is absolute hell
I have similar problem with my ex. Now she completely ignored me from her life and that breaks me apart.
I understand more than you could ever believe I've done the same and I still think of him daily but I know I had to make him hate me for him to ever have a real life .....
I know you're pain brother
@@ashleyadams8746 best damn answer ever!!!
My mom showed me this song while in recovery but unfortunately lost her battle to addiction in March, I will forever scream and sob this at the top of my lungs just for you ♥️
sorry to hear that.
I'm so sorry your mom lost her battle with addiction. It is a miserable one. I am a recovering addict. I played this song for my mom 15 years ago because I knew how much I was killing her. No words can really comfort but if they could, I'd say them to you.
Sending you love. My mother was a addict. She passed two years ago. Shit hurts. She would be sober almost nine years. I miss her everyday. She used to love this song too. I hope your momma found peace. But I'm so sorry. My heart break's for you.😭💕
This song really hits hard I'm in recovery now since April 27th of this year and I know I put my mother through hell and she hates me and it hurts so much for all the wrong I've done I wish I got to do it and make it right
My mom overdosed on heroin. *Hug*
I'm so grateful I had the strength to be there for my son through his addiction. He is now the man he was always meant to be.
I just despise myself for what i put my parents through in active addiction. It's been almost 19 months sober now and for me? The absolute hardest thing is letting go of that shame and guilt.
That's amazing. I'm an addict and all my mother did was judge me
@@williamrickettsii7453 they did it because they love you, so forgive yourself, you are worthy and and a better person because you're not there anymore. ❤
@@rochelleknutson8552 you are worthy, so love and forgive yourself❤
I have 3 sons and I'm dying inside watching them do this to themselves. I am a recovering addict as well and knowing what they actually are going through in every way breaks my heart to pieces. So glad your son finally saw the light! That has to be amazing for you!
This song means something different to everyone. And it all fucking hurts.
If you ever feel like for whatever reason your parents couldn't bring themselves to love you, just know you're not alone out there.
I don't even know u but I completely understand and have much love for you. 💜
It really does. I really feel my own hurt right now. Just know that no matter what, there is a stranger out there who wants you to love and feel love.
@@ShaDHP23 Exactly. I firmly believe there is more good in the world than bad. 💚💚
Thank you
My girlfriend and I found this song the other day on a road trip to see my family. My beautiful partner who is a recovering alcoholic and I both cried hearing it. Thinking about when she was in active addiction and how that hurt me, our relationship, her mental health, etc. it almost broke us and she knew that. There was a time where she wished I could just hate her and leave her behind like the song says. But I never could. She realized what it was doing to us. Us as a couple, my well-being, and hers. After almost ruining us, just like the song, I’m proud to say that she has put down that toxic bottle. I just want to let everyone struggling right now know that it’s going to be hard, and it will take time, but you can do it. And it’s so fucking worth it. To all of you out there in recovery or struggling, I’m so fucking proud of you. And to my love who overcame these feelings in the song, I will ALWAYS love you
I'm in recovery right now🙂this song Hit's home on so many levels..99 days sober and counting.. 🙂 We do recover ❤️🙏
I hope it made you feel better to express this.
Good post, just sayin. 👍
No sarcasm intended at all- beautiful comment. Made me feel a bit better tonight. Hope all is well
@@davidrohr2592 recovery isn’t linear, and she’s had some set backs here and there. But I’m still proud to say that she has NEVER reverted back to the way it was, even in her darkest moments since. Life is always hard, but we’re still here, doing better every single day❤️ if you don’t have relapses you’re doing amazing, and if you do have relapses you’re still doing amazing. This life shit is fucking hard, ESPECIALLY when you’re also battling addiction. So If you are able to pick yourself back up and keep going in the direction of recovery, you are doing AMAZING, and you should be proud of yourself. Always.
The phone call tightens up my face and throat, the first verse I'm crying. This song is very relatable and so deep. I hope the fellow who wrote it finds his way. I hope you all find your way as well.
Justin is from the area of Texas that I live in. He lost his mother to cancer and that is why he wrote the song, for her. He was a raging addict and felt he needed to get clean when his mother passed. He did and like suddenly made it big with his band. He has the same struggles as an addiction but he is doing well these days. I wish him all the best and hope he can continue to write these incredible songs.
This song always makes me tear up. Mom died when I was 14. I was already on drugs and not a great son. Wish she could've seen me clean and doing well. Most of all I wish she could've met the grandson she has now
Respect. I feel you.
She sees and knows.
Keep being the best parent you can be.
Congratulations !
She did and she does
Coming from a momma, she sees, she heard, and she still loves you. Never forget that.
I'm one of the lucky few that survived a serious heroin addiction and my wife stayed by my side regardless of how impossible I was to deal with. My own parents told her to leave me and she refused. 5 years sober now and we are the happiest we've ever been. Dont give up hope people there's always a way though the dark.
Blessed 🙌
This comment made me cry, I’ve been clean for years but lately I’ve been so alone I might as well start up again right it will be all I have
Totally made me cry. I'm glad you have such a wonderful person in your life ❤️
@@christiangilley527 You manifest what you believe, believe in what you want out of life, believe in a better life, a better future. Just imagine you can have anything you truly wanted, what fulfills you, you just have to do everything you possibly can to increase the probability of it happening. Do your part, life is a balance in all aspects.
And hey, if you did relapse you can self correct, understand you can't increase your wellbeing through decreasing your faculties. Devout the time and energy into your wellbeing.
I'm sorry your own blood gave up on you so easily. That's wow so unbelievably ignorant. Im speaking from experience my mother has struggled with drugs since I was 3 and her parents never gave up on her and never abandoned her even though she failed every program and they released she would always be an addict but thank god she had a lot of sober days which we cherished. It's A lot for those who have family members that are addicts it's a lot for them to deal with it's a hard time it's a hard life but thank god your girlfriend stood by you. I'm so proud for you I'm so happy for you guys my heart goes out to you and you know the truth is Some people are just not strong enough to stand by addicts and I think that's probably what happened with your parents either that or they Really did not want to and perhaps they were ignorant and think all addicts are the same and less than those who don't have to suffer from such a powerful (probably the most powerful mental illness)..its a non bias mental illness it can effect anyone its not picky.. Doesn't care who you are once its catches its hooks on for dear life. I am greatful for the attention mental illness is finally getting , fuck it took way too long and its a huge failure on society as a whole. So many deaths so many people suffering. How many Centuries did take to really just admit were human. A lot sets us apart from fellow life forms we share this planet mental illness is definitely ONE of them!!
Jammed this at the absolute worst time in my life, deep in addiction, playing it now sober, and beyond happy it hits different. 3 1/2 years clean ,and i couldn't have done it without my beautiful girlfriend 🥰
Good job man rooting for ya 👏
On July 26th, I will be 2 years sober.
You just have to take it day by day.
Never give up on yourself.
The sun will rise again.
July 26th is my birthday. I'm glad it's a good day for someone, someone so strong. I'm proud of you and you're a complete stranger.
God bless you! Congratulations on two years sober. I will pray for you that you continue day by day with sobriety. Thank you for sharing ! 🙏
My birthday as well. Congratulations and stay safe friend.
I keep hearing that but fuck man. Idk what to do. At what point do you just say I’m so far down this hole I might as well let em bury me in it. But I really am happy for you.
@@user-tr9nj6ki8u When you're thinking of letting it swallow you that's the sign to start fighting back. I wish you the best of luck, it's not easy that's for sure, but it's worth it.
Sometimes you have to let go, no matter how much you love them
Very true even when it hurts . it hurts giving up on someone when you don't do that.
Please tell me how cuz I haven’t been able to figure it oht
*out
This hits hard, having trouble letting go of my late father, seems like I’m gonna relive what happened every freaking day, never fails 😔
Whoever’s going through a rough time it’s gonna be okay, we’re all in this together 👊🏼
Truth
Whenever I hear this song I just want to go kneel before my wife in the most profound gratitude for all she’s done for me to help me out of the darkness I’ve lived in. She has, and will forever have my absolute loyalty.
That’s wonderful. Sometimes we do all we can for the one we love and they find things both real and lies to blame us for their use. It’s a feeling of pure hell. So good to know you love and appreciate all she has been for you
That made me cry
Just love her, be grateful and show it with actions....get out of your way for the little things she may want.... we do notice all the little things...
I really wish my husband could understand that I truly LOVE him and ONLY HIM! And that I'm completely sincere when I tell him that I would do ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING for him, and that I've ALWAYS been loyal and faithful and will ALWAYS IN ALL WAYS!!
@@tiffanybrantley-lovelace818 Well I don't know if your husband or not in that really none of my business but I will tell you that from personal experience depending on what kind of drug is it can rewire your brain permanently and I mean that literally
Ness is a big one and it was my drug of choice for 3 years. Now 3 years isn't necessarily long term use compared to a lot of other people I know who have been on it but 3 years when 2 of those 3 were spent with only a combined total of 8 days sober out of 2 years then It can have permanent effects and make you more jealous and paranoid really
"When I was busy waging wars on myself you were trying to stop the fight"....heavy lyrics
struggling with addiction since 13. struggling with depression since I can remember. I woke today and chose life. keep pushing to find a reason to take another breath.
Let's go good job
I hope your doing better Danielle. I’m the mother of a heroin addict. I pray for you and all who are suffering addiction
I wish I could do that
I’m very proud you!!
@@Angrondiesyou can do it I believe in you
This song breaks me in every way. I was looking for a song to express just how I feel... i found it....
Me too
you both got problems
Oh check there whole album they all express strong emotional feeling that we all relate to Listen to Into the Ocean or Ugly Side. Beautiful and strong right in the feels
You are loved my friends, it may not seem like it now and the world is cruel. You gotta brush yourself off and fight for it, work for it and I promise you that everything will work out. Much love.
Honestly, same..
My cousin passed away some years ago now. Some time before she passed she gave me a phone that still had a bunch of her music on it. Blue October was one of the bands that I discovered within it. Amongst many other songs and artists she accidentally introduced me to of course. I can't thank her enough. I've cried to so many of them, and laughed, and wept, and danced. Wherever you are Kacy, I hope you're happier there ❤️ thank you for being more of the aunt I needed than a cousin, even when you can't be here in person. Thank you for a playlist that could touch my heart, I think about you when i hear these songs 💕
RIP Kacy , your story is beautiful
"you made me compliment myself when it was way to hard to take." That hits deep
Being bipolar depression this song got home for real
@Hammerschlägen M I mean addiction can 100% lead to extreme depression
It hits me really deep rite now
@Hammerschlägen M music is interpreted differently by each individual, that's the beauty of it.
@Hammerschlägen M it does'nt matter what the song is about exactly. The song could also be about someone with depression or bipolar or what have you.
Too everyone that has the balls to feel something no matter how much it hurts, here’s to you
Thanks man, that means more than you know
Alex Currie I’m glad I could help. Take care
To you too man. Keeping being an awesome person even if it's hard to feel like being one.
Yeah, just found out my other half was messing around while I was at my grandmother's funeral in my bed and house.
Thank you.
Me and my mother never really got along.... had to force an I love you out of her. Found her dead from an overdose one day. She always told me she was gonna find me dead from the same thing. Been clean 14 years now and have a beautiful wife and daughter. But Justin and Blue October have got me through some very rough patches and I truly thank them for that.
In her own way, she did love you. I'm glad you overcame everything, and I'm proud for your accomplishments! I'm sure your children feel very loved and grateful to have a family like yours.
@@Vaporvision Thank you...this made my day.
I'm so sorry
Congrats to u for being do strong
God bless.....so much!
Justin, lead singer of Blue October, is my friend on fb.. It's good to see him doing well and being a family man.. Love him!!
No way
"Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be. Then she whispered 'How could you do this to me?'" Yep... Four years of sobriety and it still echoes in my mind when I wake up.
God bless on your sobriety. I have been sober for 22 years now. Keep up the great work, and you are never alone.
Hope all is well
It's always going stay with u Sarah but u think about it for a second because your 4 years of sobriety is a new better life
God I want to cry hearing this. 13 years has gone so fast, im an adult... my best friends arent, my father is gone, I work a job i love... but I would give anything to go back. Back to the homework, back to my dad having a snack around.. back to before I used.
Love your family. I dont give a shit how corny this is. go hug your mom, your dad... the brother or sister you're mad at... cousin you dont see. God damn it goes so fast.
Love well, and live well. Enjoy your life.
Fucking this.
Do it now, or regret that you didn't tomorrow.
Well said, i appreciate ppl like u left in this world that give 2 shits about others and not just YOURSELF! We are unfortunately a rare breed anymore
I too would go back to the past to fix my marriage before it ended... Keep my family together... Keep your head up, well make it thru
This really hit me. I need to be better.
Jesus, im in a very introspective state of mind and have lost people close to me lately, 2 people, and reading this is making me feel out of breath.... idk wher im going, ive fought addiction for soo long, i wana cry because i love my family so much it hurts...that ive fucked up and twisted myself into a helpless man, wanting to just sleep life away. But i cant. I have to fight. God give me the strength to fight.
Wow, I thought the song was sad, then I read through some of the comments. My heart breaks for each of you. I hope things get better for you guys. May you all find the strength and courage to love and live for others again.
I grew up loving this song, but never really FELT this song until I almost lost my son to addiction. My first born who taught me how to be a mother battling something I nor his father could make better. The countless nights praying he was safe and I would wait to hear from him the next day. The days I prayed he would eat. The time I felt relief when he was in jail because he wouldn't be out in the elements. The horror I felt when I got a text of him sharing his location "just in case" anyone needed to know the last address he was at. And now, the happiness I feel with him finally happy in his own skin, sober, productive, and about to be a father. I pray he makes the daily choice to be here for the people he loves and especially for himself and the wonderful life he's built.
I am so sorry 😭
I'm sober now for three whole months that's one accomplishment that you helped me with the one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won't touch again - mood
Crazy i been sober three months. .. .hate me
very relatable for me
Beautiful array of words . Nobody can say it any bolder better perfect eloquently lol then this right here!.
Cheers to the hell you all have pulled ur selfs out of. I dove in broken I'm coming out whole!.
This song was such a profound influence on my relationship with my mother, through my youth, my journey to sobriety, her struggles to navigate her own journey, and her death. This song means SO much to me for so many reasons.
This one always kills me... no matter how many times I listen, I cry...
@Hammerschlägen M It doesn't fucking matter what they are. If they cry they fucking cry.
Same. My first long term ex played this for me when we broke up after 6 years. That was back in 09/10. Still makes me think of him sometimes.
There can be many perceptions to this song. It's a good song for closure after a toxic relationship. Either way, it's written well
For me it’s the toxic relationship, she was perfect, but I was absolutely horrible, and even though she didn’t know it I was dealing with alcoholism. Now she’s happy and that makes me feel better.
For all the sober ppl: this ain't no save a hoe
For all the non sober ppl:
PS, for the ish I do for a living: y'all would be so proud. Prob not for my vocab but u know, I try
Sigh rip mom/"mommy"
@@ahhwe-any7434 I’m proud of you
I live with PTSD and BPD, this song hits home.
Same here.. and I totally feel this song.. ur not alone my friend..
Same here as well. Be strong and know that those that abandoned us do not define us.
Same.
Same here sis. combat ptsd and survivers guilt. Be strong and keep pushing forward. God bless you
Same
I’ve never felt with addiction or heartbreak in such a way, but the voice and the tone of this song speaks volumes. Every verse is full of heart wrenching sorrow, and it hits hard. To all of those who can relate to this song, I hope things have gotten so much better and easier.
God I miss the 2000's rock music. Songs that actually had a story to them and carried weight. I'm sure the music that comes out today is also good, but it's not something I can get into. I just miss early and mid 2000's rock so much.
Holy sh**... I remember when this came out when I was in middle school. I'm 30 years old now. Life has a really harsh way of changing a person. I wish I didn't grow to understand this song in the way that I do now.
this song is the song i've been playing for an hour on loop now. i love my husband so much, he's made my life so worth living and rescued me from my darkest time. his addiction wasn't an issue until I understand how much it is tearing us apart. i myself have addiction issues and end up hurting him too, but he always is by my side no matter how hurt he is. i don't know what I can do for him while I'm watching him fall apart and he pretends to be okay. he's truly the only thing that makes me know what happiness is like.
I dedicate this song to my estranged mother. Never really knew her even though we lived together for most of my childhood life, she was rarely home but when she was, we would always bud heads. Really wish I was better to her back then because she was always out working trying to feed us but ig I was just mad she neglected us. Hope you're doing better mom.
This song makes me realize how truly toxic I am to others and the neverending ache for everyone around me to hate me. I'm too afraid to walk away and they're too kind.
Hang in there.🙏
no matter what i do or what i say..no matter how hard i try i hurt the people i love. its the worst feeling. i deserve to feel so much pain for it..i want them to hate me the way i hate myself. i want them to kick me and punch me and scream about how awful i am because i know i deserve it
@@403l2-g4j so right after I wrote this comment. I went on medication to help with my anxiety and depression. It doesn't fix everything, but it helps me get up in the morning and I'm able to forgive myself for the things I've done and I've realized that the people I love have hurt me too, but we all find people worth hurting for and live with them. And that self hatred isn't healthy. There was one point in my life where I wanted people to hate me so bad, I practically begged for a fight and that isn't something I should or would ever want again. It's toxic for me and the people I care about. I'm just trying to make a point that you should probably seek help from a therapist or psychiatrist. Meds aren't for everyone but it sure does help me. I wish you luck on your recovery journey.
@@angryartist3170 ive been on so many meds and no one knows whats wrong with me lmao im just fucked up yk..im really glad you're doing better tho,, i hope you keep doing good
@@403l2-g4j I mean it's possible to get better without being on meds. I've done it before, but quarantine got to me and messed up my entire routine. I'm just tryna say is to just keep pushing. It's cheesy but it's true
Honestly my love for music came from my mom, having the ability to sit down talk and listen to music with meaningful lyrics. That she was always there for me, I honestly don't tell her "I love you" enough, but I love you mom thank you for the way you've made me
Doesn’t this remind you of 2006 when this came out and how simpler times were and how much responsibility you have now. Look how much has changed.
Time was never simpler back then. Look at 9/11.
@@andrew2393 i think this person meant they were young so had no responsibilities then
@@VioletEmerald Yes but it is incorrect say the times were "simpler" than today. Neither did I have responsibilities back then but I still saw many tragedies that occurred during that time period.
All the songs I heard as a kid have really real meanings now ..some I can't even listen to because they trigger some bad thoughts ha
This was one of my step dads favorite songs, rest in peace Bob. The more I grow up the more I realize why you listened to music like this🤙
Having a parent with an opiate addiction and several mental disorders this song hit hard i remember my mom saying this was her song to her daughters and its been a while since i listened to it because it always made me cry I never looked up the lyrics until now and i balled like a baby because i can see that my mom was hurting and needed us to guide her but when we did try to help her she would become irate and refused help until she got the call back home on April 3rd 2018
Addicts don't ask for help. We do reach out though. For all who read this, please fucking help.
Sometimes the people you love are the ones you hurt the most. This song is a great reminder that if you have the time to make amends, do it. Before its to late. But mean it.
Thanks for uploading the shorter yet uncensored version of the song! There's a lame one labeled best version that's censored. THIS is the best version.
When you admit your faults and feel someone else's pain it's one of the most beautifully bitter sweet experiences in life.....hold your heart to the heart of the world and let it beat for those in pain
The voicemail in the beginning makes me cry.
same
My mother is 76 years old just battled cancer now is in the hospital with pneumonia and has a weak heart because of all the chemotherapy and my daughter 30 years old just died.... no matter how much I pushed my mother away she was always on my voicemail every single f****** day and still is my heart is broken so badly I just cannot fix it
It hits diffrent when you know what the lyrics mean
I know what they mean. I feel what they mean. I am living what they mean ... I cry with knowledge of what they mean 💙
So much this 😢
It hits different when the lyrics are you
It does
yeah, you know it’s for the best for both of you
I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. And I really am happy knowing you have been happy and achieving your goals all of these years. Thank you for everything. You have been my greatest teacher. Life is so crazy. Maybe in our next lives.
It been 6 months since I said my last goodbye to my mom. I hope she have found the peace I couldn't give her while she was alive. She never gave up hope for me and my addiction and demons I had. I love you mom, I'll be okay.
I’ve had a heroin addiction since my early twenties. I’ve relapsed so many times. And the one person who was always there who never judged me and always made me feel so strong, is my mom. She still to this day is here for me, and always checks on me and cares for me. This song makes me cry, thinking about all the pain that I put us through. I love you so much mom.
Grew up listening to this my childhood was filled with vile memories of sexual abuse and being beaten. I have listened to this song since I was 9 years old. Alcoholism & substance abuse are key chapters in my life. It’s easy to fill your heart with loss & hate but there is always something that can make it worthwhile, for me it’s my husband he took the time to help me to get to know me to look past the outside and look within. If someone you love can look within and see value you have value and are loved.
No matter what happened in the past you can always come out of it stronger than you ever were I can say I never really had my parents in my life which I had a major impact on me I am still struggling with depression trust issues a fear of a abandonment and anxiety you have support no matter what stay strong and in this world.
I owe my life to my wife without her i wouldnt be here to see my 2 beautiful children growing into the young adults they are .. When i was so far down and literally lost everything and gave up everything i owned and worked for chasing that next high , she never ever turned a cheek on me when i didnt even deserve to be in her presence.She deserved so much more than what i put her and our family through and luckily i seen that and changed.. It was hardest thing ive ever done and still do but almost at 10 year mark clean and about to celebrate our 28th year anniversary together..Thank you cindi marie for never giving up on me..❤
Sober now for 3 whole years! This song helped me when it was only 3 whole months. Thank you. 🙏🏻
This song hits home in so many ways....powerful, painful, and beautiful. Much love, peace, happiness and health, maybe not for me, but for all of you.
I have homeless son who is missing & this song reminds me of him. He says similar things to me. What i don't understand that he doesn't seem to get is, that i could never hate him and no way I could ever forget him. I love him so much.
The VERY first Blue October song i ever heard, back in the 2000s on the alt rock radio! As i aged i had forgotten who they were and was re-exposed through songs like 'The Weatherman' and 'Oh My My!'.
Makes me happy to know theyre still going strong
Man I've had a disturbed life. I've seen some effed up things, and unfortunately gone into addiction myself. I love this song, I know it applies to a lot of people but it sure hits home with me. Cheers my friends
Back here to remember where I've been and to tell anyone who might be in the same boat as I was that there is hope and no matter how helpless it seems to fight. Much love.
I was once married but after 3 years she walked out on me , and at 1st I placed the blame on her , and carried resentment for years , until I had to take a real look at the part I played and I was big time at fault for our marriage failure, so this song I dedicated it to her , and ask for forgiveness for all the things I did wrong and didn't do in our relationship! We have 3 beautiful kids together so our relationship is better than ever, but after my life spiraled out of control because of drug addiction it was the best decision she could have made to leave me , so I thank her for giving that wake up call! So this song hits home big time, she even helped me get sober by taking me to the hospital and never stopped being my friend so this song word for word expresses everything I wanted to tell her! Thank you for sharing it!!
Hate Me is my song to self.
My warning to others to not go there with me.
To wish my name never existed.
To wish my memories never taint another.
I am my own worst enemy.
Miles alone solo driving is my life.
I have known so many honest people who genuinely loved me for me...unfortunately time changes them and me.
Never lasts.
And memories with songs is the only booze I need these days.
Crying. Grieving. Hating myself.
And knowing tommorrow will be more tolerable.
Being a man must be easy.
Tune out and ignore whatever to keep from feeling anything.
While ladies - we carry not just ours - but everyone else around us!
So wish I had that nothing box that men have to just tune off and turn off what life feels like 😢😢
Surely the line is “loved”, past tense? When he sings…
“And will you never say that you love me, just to put it in my face?”
It changes the meaning a lot…
And will you never say that you Loved Me, just to put it in my face….
Makes so much more sense to me…. And, obviously, hits home.
I love this song. Thank you for uploading.
Finally found this song. Been stuck in my head for weeks...I still love you.
Imagine dumping this man and he drops this masterpiece
It’s not a war on drugs it’s a war on personal freedom keep that in mind at all times.
As somebody with an addict father who still isn't sober, to anybody who IS finally sober, and still feels guilty; you're doing good. I can't express how much I wish he'd try for me like you try for your babies. They love you, they're proud of you, and it's okay. ❤
Almost 2 years clean and man this song hits still..
I don’t think there’s a single song Blue Octobers put out that don’t just hit on every emotion you feel
I actually cried when my mom showed me this song because ive been suicidal and had suicidal thoughts. When i heard this song i actually started crying so much.
I just stopped being suicidal a few months ago and I feel bad that I could have hurt others badly but the Lord helped me get through it and he'll do the same for you
Ive heard this song once before, 2017 pa adult & teen challenge in Rehersberg Pa when i was at rehab the last time. We did some music reflection group and this dude chose this song and when i read the lyrics i was like oh damn this speaks volumes...me and my wife are both coming up on 7 years clean in august... This song was in my dream last night so i looked it up and here i am
I remember listening to this when I was in high school in the early 2000s.
Golden Blue89 yea and it was my breakup song for someone that I was bad for , I loved her but I was bad for her I had to let her go .
@@nuadasilverlance4252 I love this song
They dont make music like they used to!
Me 2 man 2001 2005
I remember even this came out in 2006. You think you've grown until you hear this again and realize you haven't moved that far from what's hidden under the facade 17 years later
I can listen to this song but every time I try to sing it a big lump forms in my throat and I can’t make it through a verse I cry every time. Heavy shit.
Yes This one !!
I was an addict, not being wanted by my parents, family, girl, friends, I mean so far away from society, but this distance make me realized, how, lonely I'm snd I need help...
With little courage I came up, enter rehab, and it's been many yrs I'm happy again.
This song will always be my inspiration... Truly songs do change perspective..
This has to be the song I've listened to most in the last two years
This band doesn't realize how much significance they have in my life. My brother died in the month of October. October has always been blue for me.
I'm so sorry😢
Sarah, im sorry for everything i did to you, i know i was everything to you and i tore you apart for 5 years, all the damage i did to you, you were still loyal to me till the day i left you. i wish i never did, but thats life. This song is a perfect example of what we were. " ill love you to the moon and back".
This song is what addiction feels like in your soul. So glad to be sober today
I’m a recovering addict almost 8 years sober and I think of all I did to my momma when I hear this song. It brings me to tears
I love that i found this song again, walked in a store and it came on. It brought back memories that i never thought i see again. I almost cried in the store hearing the song. Im 25 years old and i listened to this song when i was a kid, so what i experienced was a childhood song, but id only listened to this song on the radio. I'm so happy i got to find a little part of me that i thought i lost.
For all of you , for the bravery and openness to share your experiences and your deep hurt , thank you , for helping to ignite understanding that we aren't always as alone as we feel . For all of you and myself, I wish peace.
I used to listen to this song and think about my mom as I was battling depression and addiction. I’m 8 years clean and now have a great relationship with my mom. She battling cancer and I’m thankful I’m here and that I’m here for her to help her as much as helped me through those hard times.
The memories this song bring back hurt. But I rather hurt than forget.
This is hitting hard . Mental health sucks
Mental health is good. Poor mental health sucks. But I know what u meant ;)
I dedicate this to my mom, ive been continuously relapsing and she's always there and always believes in me. I'm sorry I'm not getting better. I wish she could leave me and see how much she deserves. I love you mom. I'm sorry.
praying for everyone dealing with addiction and all the ones who love them........ hardest and saddest love to have to walk away from 😭💔
Brings me to a past I dont want to remember. Like a fever dream. The way things would be now if I was smarter back then.
This song brings me tears listening to it now after experiencing my fiancé being an addict. SO many times he did me wrong. SO many lies. SO much deceit. But that was before I knew about his addiction. After I found out, I wanted to be there for him, make him better. I wanted him to know that we (myself and our 1 year old daughter) love him very much. Addicts go through so much those of us who are sober cannot comprehend. He's been sober now for years with occasional struggles but no matter what becomes of us, I will always make sure he's ok. Nobody wants to suffer with a life of addiction.
I’m sober now for 5 whole months!! Feels so good too!! My mom finally told me she’s proud of me the other day… this song gets me crying like a baby every time 😭. Love it so
After a month of withdrawal its just easier to keep using. Jealous of your perseverance.
@@privilegedwhitemale306 I hope you’re doing okay
This nigga probably chasing that joy again
I've been sober for almost 5 years now. I needed it bad. Not 1 single person said good job or they were proud. Nobody understood my struggle. Such a lonely feeling.
@@adamboughner681you are awesome brother.m. A lot of people can’t make it even for 1 months. You the man my brother 🙏
Very powerful song . Broke through whatever front I put up. Made me apreciate my Mother Wife and everything else ...after they left me.Only tears were left.only tears were able to console me and clean my soul . God Bless Con Safos.
I spent 7 years with a girl who I loved dearly. We split up almost 6 months ago and I’ve been working on myself. I never realized how toxic I was to her how manipulative I was. I miss her so much. My heart aches every time I think of her. She was my rock and my foundation. She was there for me when my mother passed unexpectedly do to a blood clot. She has me blocked on everything. I hope she’s doing well. I still look back on those days and wonder how I let such an amazing person slip away from me. Why was I so ignorant and stupid? I know for a fact she hates me. It burns like a hot ash on my skin. We were planning on getting married and having a family. I just don’t know if I’ll ever be able to move on. She moved on so easily but that’s understandable due to what I put her through. The emotional torments I gave her and all of my jealousy. I hope one day she sees I’ve changed for the better. I know I’ll never have her again as my love. We were just kids when we got together. I feel so lost and when I hear this song it just reminds me of my failure of a man to her. I was supposed to trust and love her unconditionally and I couldn’t. My depression from the loss of my mother got the worst of me. She begged me to go to therapy. I wouldn’t. She begged me to stop hurting myself and I wouldn’t. She begged me to stop getting so upset at the little things and I just fucking wouldn’t. I was smoking weed all the time and wouldn’t care about anything unless I had it. I was drinking my sadness away every night. I’m sober now. Almost 4 months sober to be exact. I work out and seek therapy often. I dedicate my time and effort into bettering myself every day whether it be work or the gym. I miss her. She was my backbone and I let it all slip away. They say move on and try to find someone that will love me again but it’s hard to move on from your first true love. Her family took me in like I was one of them, we would spend Christmas and thanksgiving together and they didn’t necessarily love me the way she did but they accepted me for me. Now I’ll be spending it alone this year. The point of this rant is to love and treat your significant other with the care and happiness they want. Don’t let them slip away like I did. If they want you to change try to change. It’s truly one of the worst feelings in the world to lose the love of your life due to your own mistakes. I’ll regret it till the day I die. I miss you Jasmine. I’ll love you forever mi amor. I’m so sorry for everything I put you through.
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry and I hope you are okay, I met someone I fell in love with for the first time in forever and she is doing so well and she caught me using, I think I lost her for good and the absolute agony I feel is unbearable, I don't know how to mo e forward alone again
When we have a perfect parachute, we still tend to cut the ropes. Goodluck and grow from this!
No matter how far apart, Mama still loves, even through the shattered pieces of Mama's heart 💕
May you never understand these lyrics...
How do people not. It’s about an abusive depression addicted boyfriend who’s trying to get over everything do his gf will come back but he knows she will always hate him
@@PineMountainMusician I'd say that it's actually about someone struggling with addiction and seeing what it is doing to their relationship. Seeing how their significant other is doing everything they can to help but the addiction continues to control their life. Wishing he could stop and telling them that they should hate him because all he causes is pain. I speak from experience that directly relates to that very situation.
I thought he went out of his way to let people know it’s not about a girl
The message at the beginning of the song is from his mother- reminding him to take his medication- he is battling mental illness w severe depression- wrapped into addiction- he is begging for his girl to hate him because he is always hurting her and he doesn’t want to hurt her anymore- and he knows that she loves him- he realizes he is not good for her.
First verse I thought was about how she cheated on him... “playing reels in my head that make a porno feel like home”
Second verse I thought was about his addiction. Idk
😢 every time I hear this song it reminds me of me on all what I’m going through right now but the grace of God I’m here every time I listen to this song. Remind me what I was gonna do but here I am a lot today thank you to my best friend Pancho, I love you man
❤ still here 2023 ❤
This is helping me get through so much right now
This one hits right in the feels as it always had for me since it was released. I've always thought my life was sh*t cuz of how people treated me and how I was never good enough. But when I tasted the good life, I tried to take advantage of it like it was owed to me. I made a blue eyed girl cry plenty of times. I thought I was doing the right thing but what I was doing was treating the great ones like how everyone treated me. I didn't deserve her. I still don't. So this song reminds me of how, sometimes you gotta have the other person hate you in order to move on cuz you won't hate them. You can't. So for me, it's bittersweet. I relate to the pain but I also relate to the destruction caused after for holding on too long. Sometimes, we're our own worst enemies and music is our only friend. Be safe y'all ✌🏼
Shit u might be my ex lol. I think of him every time I listen to this song. He was the one though who was trying to stop the fight inside me. I love him even still today and I always will.
@@trillyfly7805 unfortunately, the struggle is real and I still feel the same about her. One day we'll be ok. Until that day, we remain the best broken self we can be until we find the one that's gonna pick up the pieces that we can't anymore. Stay strong, music is always there for you
@@jeremymarsillo8578 my ex and I are getting back together now after 16 years. He is the one
@@trillyfly7805 good for you!
I've been broken. Heart and soul. But I never let anyone take the good out of me. These people that did me wrong are still happy after all the mess.
So to that, they can be happy but can never be REAL..
I thank God he made me this way. I ain't perfect but I know...... I'm definitely worth it.
This song was recommended by my ex and I was cryin when I listen to it. Hey I don't want to hate you and I don't want you to hate yourself too.
One of the only songs to make me cry hard. Hits hard family history
Everytime I play this .. I end up breaking down Soo hard... 😪😪 Here's to the hurt. You're not alone...
Looking back I remember watching my ex sing this song word for word w/ so much intensity. I regret not being a better listener. If I had a chance for a “do over” I would ask “What do u feel when you hear this song”? And I would wait w/open ears & a closed mouth all night long if that’s what it took for him to feel comfortable enough to share🙏🏻