I’m only 12 minutes in to this conversation. I love Dr Gabor Mate’s work however it’s so painful for me. I was a 22 yr old unwed mother when I had my oldest son. My mother yelled at me when she found out I was pregnant asking me why I didn’t just get an abortion … she’s a prolife catholic. She then shunned me for 3 months and my father barely spoke with me. I was living at home and going to college at the time. They would not talk with me about a plan - give the child up for adoption, bring him home. I was depressed, alone, lost and didn’t know what to do. My son had adhd, developed epilepsy in adolescence and life was a struggle. He died at 32 yrs old from a seizure. I believe that my pregnancy and all of the stress hormones raging through our bodies had a horrible impact on him. His early childhood was full of stress as well. It was an unloving, emotionally unsupportive environment. It has been a struggle to have forgiveness for myself and my parents. They have no idea the impact and wouldn’t want to hear about it. I’m left with this deep pain…so yeah, it’s such an important conversation and really hard too. 💜my Joe
Hurts to read your story😢. I pray you climb over your past and live a life of love moving forward. Dr Gabor is a great teacher for all of us to learn from. We have to be intentional, though, to get the help we need.
Thank you for sharing, your life story touched my heart and saddened to hear of your losing your son. I can only imagine what a painful experience that is @Peace&Love444 💚May all your experiences be an opening to processing and healing. I am also on my healing journey and find it helpful listening daily to content like this.
A good friend once said to me, “don’t try to fix me, just listen!” When I have a problem, just talking about it to someone who will just listen, really helps me to see it and to see the next step towards the solution.
I can feel my own inner child soothed by witnessing you have empathy and understanding for Harry (as well as anyone involved). There is power and healing in aknowledgeing the struggles of another human being, no matter how different we perceive them to be 💚
All this approval and agreement. I feel sad and pained woundedness that there is no open minded, good faith, fair minded engagement in objective standards of reasoned deliberation about this complex and complicated story. 😔
What a magnificent man, I can't get enough of his interviews, his demeanor, attitude, tone of voice and the manner of speech, his beautiful, beautiful and wonderful mind, the depth of sensitivity, humility and wisdom. I wish more people were like him. I am grateful that I have an opportunity and ability to see and listen and understand this man. Thank you Dr. Rangan!
you two doctors confirm my intuitive impression I have had of Prince Harry for years!!!! I am glad for Harry to have such supportive conversation from you Thank you 😀🙏🏻
I am a homebirth midwife and am so glad to see the toxicity of our medical birth culture addressed here. It’s SO important! As well as mothers being supported before and after birth.
Also the status of the person and the couple before and even during the child's conception. Can't jut expect things to get better/be good before and after birth.Needed waaaaay before that. Roots..childhood wounds. All of it
@@toshiojohnston3732 circumcision is done bc males can't keep themselves clean, and doesn't compare to childbirth or Female mutilation. foreskin is nasty, it's the least males can do to not be cheese dicks.
I TOLD MY DAUGHTER THE OTHER DAY,,ALL ANTICIPATING PARENTS SHOULD BE ENCOURAGED TO ATTEND PARENTING CLASSES BEFORE CHILDBIRTH,,,GIVE THEM INCENTIVES TO ATTEND CLASSES,,EG MONEY,GIFT CARDS,STROLLER,FREE DIAPERS,FOOD COUPONS,,,IN THE LONG RUN WE WOULD HAVE A HEALTHIER SOCIETY,,,AND ABOVE ALL GIVING MOTHERS/FATHERS THE FREEDOM TO RAISE THEIR CHILD X 1-2 YEARS.,
Gabor is so amazing to listen to. I learn something every time about my own childhood & upbringing and how a lot of that has played out in my adult life. Asking for help can be the hardest thing to do when you were taught as a child that it’s a sign of weakness & that anyway, everyone else has their own problems so wouldn’t want to be burdened by yours. I’m 60+ and I have reached out for help in the past but still find it hard. Thanks Dr Rangan & Dr Mate. These conversations are so valuable.
🎯villifying & victim blaming the one who exposes the toxic, narcissistic culture (that they are unable to change for the better) ❤ 41:00 "what's happened to you rather than what's wrong with you". Thank you for giving Harry a compassionate platform, God bless you 🙏🇬🇧
I am a senior American who is limited socially...first the pandemic, then the outrageous inflation causing seniors to struggle to afford groceries or anything else; but the terrible healthcare system here and over 200 mass shootings so far in 2023...the racism and hateful political system here - The wars are affecting all of us. HOW CAN WE NOT HAVE MENTAL ISSUES? Although having researched leaving/escaping the US, my life's savings have been exhausted just trying to get by. I know seniors around the world suffer the same 🙏 Praying for all of us 🙏
@@mariamanuelasilva5987 i would love to!!! But I do not have the $$$ to move...I have several rescue cats and I will not leave them behind 🐾🐈 They were all I had during the pandemic and are my babies. Thank you for thinking of me 💌🙏
I live in the UK. We have jobs we love, we live in a lovely neighborhood, we are able to pay a rent and provide everything our children need but I am missing my parents and my friends (that causes a lot of tension, sadness and inconsistency in my parenting practice). I am deprived of friendships and meaningful relationships. Financial stability is precious but social "normality" I used to have in Greece is priceless!
One wise woman compared my immigrant experience to that of someone who had escaped a war or something similar. I moved from Lithuania to the U.S. I can relate to your personal alienation100%! It is no joke! I functioned like a living zombie as I was raising my kids. Best of luck to you, I wish you all the healing I didn't have!
@@almamikaliukas547 Thank you very much! I am sorry to hear you are still struggling. And I also feel that it's so unfair that our governments and the whole system didn't support people to live their lives in their home countries. Thank you and all the best to you too!
I believe from what I have read the Greek culture has a stronger bond in their community than some other cultures. The mental health of a community is very important. As opposed to hanging in an isolating culture.
For the first six years of my daughter’s life, we lived in Taiwan. As a result, I had a nice maternity leave and then a flexible work schedule that allowed me time with my daughter that I don’t think I could have had in The States. Also as a result of living there, I saw that many parents coslept. We did the same with my daughter. She’s now 22 and I can see how these early years and this contact with me and her father at the time, provided her with something good. My daughter is just about to move away for the first time. She’s excited, but not running. Ready and prepared for her independence. Thanks for this talk. I learn so much about how we’re formed.
I have just found this channel, mainly due to the attraction of listening to Dr Mate! I have now subscribed. I found listening to these fine professionals talk about Prince Harry, cemented in my mind why I have supported him all along. There have been reminders for me of my own family life as a child and those of my siblings, all affected in some way by our parents who really only did their best at the time. It's sad for me that so much knowledge has reached me in my later years and having no children to pass it on to, I just hope that at some stage I have shown my vulnerabilities to others and so help them to realise they also have these struggles, we are not alone. Thank you both.
Thanks for the work you put into creating these videos! You've helped me so much in fighting depression, working out, eating healthier, sleeping more! My life is so much better now. I've gained priceless knowledge. The world needs more people like you. Greetings from Poland :)
I like him too. He needs to work out his issues with love and support honestly and within some boundaries and parameters. Dr. Gabor, of all people, should know those parameters. And NO, he has NOT been a kind soul, nor has he approached any of the past 4+ years with any decency ,respect or with privacy for others.
@@jm5386hiding dysfunctions is what causes problems in the first place and dysfunctional families are renown for shooting the messenger. In my view Harry's first responsibility is to the family he created. I'm not concerned by his birth family's suffering as I'd prefer that his kids not suffer in the same way and thereby repeat the pattern.
??? He sat there and said nothing when Megan spouted off all of her wild stories. The late Queen requested to see him just prior to her passing away and he was too busy to visit his beloved granny. I'm not seeing any kindness in any of it.
@@j.t.1215Exactly. I want to be supportive of H because I, too, am a survivor of both childhood and adult Narcissistic ABUSE and Neglect, just like him. But he has shown no compassion or intelligence or anything commendable. He has killed animals - horses etc. and hospitalized sex workers- ALLEGEDLY. He's just sank under his wife's evil tutelage and become his worst traits...I do it approve. I am unimpressed. In fact I am sickened by both of their antics.
For decades, families have toxically groomed their children…to never speak about the mental abuse, alcoholism, physical abuse, financial abuse, sexual abuse, misogynistic and associated hierarchy thinking that the man is the most important (and the only one ‘free’ to do whatever he bloody well pleases, because of his declared ‘high status’) person in the home. And they call it dedication to ‘family privacy’. “Don’t wash your dirty laundry in public”…or YOU are a ‘bad’ person. Rather than allowing the unacceptable behaviour to be openly discussed…as a MEANS to keep the adults accountable for their own actions and behaviour…rather than guilting their children to become their ‘secret keepers’. That…is child abuse, right there!! What a burden, for a child to be expected to LIE (by omission of ‘the truth’)…so save their abusive parent’s reputation. Brutal. It’s disgusting, and it needs to stop. 🛑
Finally someone speaking on compassion for Harry🎉 BRAVO👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏🙌Thank you Rangan and Gabor. Love yr collaboration would like to see more of you together again. Beautiful podcast.
I'm a single mum. Father left us when my son was born, he had no interest in looking after us. My parents, I felt, abandoned me, all my friends and everyone I knew left me to fend for myself. I did my best, my son is now 15yo. I breastfed for as long as possible and tried to have lots of cuddles, but I was depressed, lonely and had nothing and no future. My parents wouldn't let me live at home with them, and so I had to rent alone. I'm still lonely and now I'm burn out and fried. My son is doing well academically, I always try to provide social opportunities for my son and now (it's taken me a while) myself as well. We have joined beach volleyball and our first weekend down to play was the best day we've ever had. When my son goes to uni I'm not sure what to do, I can't afford to pay for his accommodation so we may have to move together to uni and work it out from there, not sure yet. But what compounds my situation is, in a moment of desperation, I entered teaching. So I've added work place chronic stress for 15 years. Time to move on. I cry when I think about how my circumstances has impacted my son thru no fault of his own, mum guilt is terrible. I've tried to do the best I can and suppress my bad habits and upbringing and tried to nurture him. It still isn't easy and I hope he'll be okay growing up as an adult. Thank you for these videos, because it helps verify what I'm going thru and what I need to do to move forward.
I am so glad that you discussed this. So many of us grew up with severe emotional experiences with family. When you do not receive positive emotional feedback, it is scarring as we do not know how to convey to others the right emotions or support. Where are the nurturing parents that make a newly born baby feel secure and loved? I agree with you as well regarding animals. They hug, clean, move their little ones out of danger. We are too desensitized to our inner conscience and feelings of empathy and compassion to self and others.
They are fine, wealthy and making money off of stories about their relatives… Harry should learn to have compassion for his own brother and stop sharing private stories about him. Yes, media is vicious and Harry has blatantly decided to partake in that toxicity, keep in mind he and his wife were forced to admit in a UK court they had been feeding stories to the media without disclosing it, they are no better than weird UK tabloids
I really enjoy listening to Dr Gabor Matė. I have learned so much about how to deal with ADHD, High Functioning Autism/Asperger’s Syndrome and how it effects the people around me. His teachings on trauma have already helped me with my wife and two daughters (1,3) and how I can help them. I wish I could meet him over a cup of tea and bikkies one day.
What an amazingly powerful conversation! I am one of those people who are learning and healing with the help of these podcasts. Please continue to share these thoughts and information with us! 🙏😊
What? Cuddle a kid when they need to be held? It's OK to want to be held, comforted? Totally not my family. When my parents told me my best friend died, I was 15. They told me and then said that I wasn't to mope and needed to understand that life goes on and sent me to a party where I knew no one. It was a nightmare and I still tend to not like parties. But I was always scolded whenever I felt bad. You know, after listening to Gabor I understand my brother so much better and in spite of it all, no matter how clumsy, and it has been, he has always striven to be a good person. Now I feel both bad for feeling so frustrated with him all my life but also so grateful for my newfound compassion for "damaged" people. It heals me, if that makes sense.
When Gabor says 'it's not going to happen' the fact is that change happens slowly and Harry has started it which is really the only way it could happen. So this is the beginning of something...nothing changes over night. It's one small step at a time. Thanks for this conversation.
Good to know & hear someone addressing these problems we have going on around us, nobody else is. He is saying things Ive been feeling, but cant express to anyone.
Such an insightful and compassionate conversation. Thanks for. speaking up for Harry and understand his POV. Just a heartbreaking story. I hope he is ok and his family can all heal.
When I had my first child it was FROWNED UPON to bring your newborn baby into your marital bed = What other animal gives birth to a fragile baby and puts it away in a cot in another room ???? Shocking No wonder we have mental problems today
Thank you for your attention to this issue. I attended the conversation between Dr. Mate and Prince Harry and the issue of childhood traumas which affect us as adults. It was incredibly insightful. In addition to underestimating the impact of the early traumas of our lives, and living in a toxic society, too many people consider celebrity to mean that a fandom as well as the so-called journalists and paps think they own people who are famous. Great artists, athletes and other public figures are expected to tolerate the loss of privacy, constant abuse on social media, and demands for selfies and such. It's on the same level as bear-baiting of centuries past. So if you are a splendid human being with a great deal to offer the world, you will not only need to deal with the trauma that shaped you in your early years, you will be re-traumatized for your excellence. And somehow, many people don't find anything wrong with that.
@@Phoebus_Apollo That's one way to approach the problem. However, in today's world actors' followers and likes are a bankable commodity and likely to result in them being hired for projects. H&M's philanthropy also benefits significantly from this reality. Over $70,000 has been raised for a charity in celebration of Archie and Lilli's birthdays and that number is still growing. Playgrounds for other children will be created as a result. Also, M was silent for several months and the British Press continued to print ridiculous articles about her. On coronation day Twitter was flooded with Megan (and Harry) content. I had to scroll for several minutes to find the first shot of the backs of C&C on the palace balcony. Staying home made no difference. I would prefer stronger legislation that would make stalking and chasing of anyone on foot or in a vehicle of any kind illegal and come with severe penalties. No more hanging about in wait to jump someone for a photo either. Without that level of legislation, the police can do nothing as it's not a crime. The police position consistently is that they cannot protect rich or famous people as that's not their job. Well, I disagree. Protecting ALL people is their job. Society needs to give them the means to do it properly.
Yes, we have a society whose #1 priority is profit. Everything is created and produced for the purpose of profit. So yes, in a sense, you go to school, get a degree for what purpose? To work for a big corporation to make a profit , not to make a world a better place. Therefore people are objectified in this type of society. Everything is based on a superficial narcissistic dynamic of heirarchy, and so famous people are used as a type of example or role model which is peddled and sold to the public... These role models can sell value systems or new medical procedures and such things to the public .. remember when Angelina jolie came out and said she had the breast cancer gene and promptly chopped off her boobs and replaced them with plastic ones? That was a total medical advertisement. But that's how it works. Everything we do is being given to validate and support a toxic society
I admire dr. Mate since I first heared his lecture. Now seen him stend up for Harry despite all the pressure from sociaty, he is reall Herro.❤ Thanks both of you.
Another HUGE factor I believe is how much our culture pushes us to give our blood, sweat, and tears to our jobs…and if we’re not competitive then we are looked as “less than”. Therefore, that stress of climbing the corporate ladder is an expected part of our culture and pushes us in abnormal ways that ultimately have dire effects to our bodies. That stress compounds. No job is worth our health. I’ve learned it the hard way!
Dear Dr I can identify so much with this conversation. I lost my father when I was 13 and although I am okay and happy these days at 54 it took a long time to have some peace. I am also amazed about the venum that is leveled at Harry and Meghan. I feel his pain and can identify with that. To be authentic to yourself and if that authenticity is not in the box or of what is expected of you always makes waves and will bring pain to you.
I live in a toxic little American town. They call it the town built by friendliness but only if you're exactly like them .. I think a huge, huge source of built up anger in alot of people on alot of these small homogenized towns is that they didn't get to be themselves and so how dare you go and try to be yourself!! I even had a client say something similar to me once... Imagine living life in a way that prohibits your self expression? I think the natural response of the soul would be volcanic anger? Maybe that's just my natural drama coming through? Yes, self expression. Is so important
THERE ARE SO MANY OTHER PLACES TO LIVE,,I LIVED IN A TOWN LIKE THAT,MOSTLY HISPANIC FEW BLACKS,,AFTER 7 YEARS I LEFT,SO MUCH RACISM,,,,IF I WERE HISPANIC I WOULD LIVE NO WHERE ELSE...MY YOUNG DAUGHTERS SUFFERED ALSO..
Not just towns but my personal family. My father was a narcissist and called all the shots so we all lived in fear and there was no way we could have self expression or any sense of self. I’ve lived my whole life going by what other people think of me and tell me what to do. For the 1rst time I’m waking up and trying to have some self identity and waiting for my creative self to come out.
I love you Guys, I strongly believe, that you are very kind persons. My unhappy childhood affected all my life, I was bullied, humiliated since I was very little girl, this trauma affected all my life. Now I am nearly 70 years old, but this pain is still inside me. I understand Harry what is he going through. Thank you for this video!!!!
As a person who has suffered Childhood trauma I can say that I would rather suffer it & come from a family of privilege than poverty. I have been on the bread line & had huge issues with my mental health as a direct result. I Think this is the biggest factor that makes anyone complain or criticise him. This sounds negative but I listen to all your pods & usually find them so helpful thank you.
I grew up in a poor family and went through a lot of abuse. Not once did I think that being rich would have been better. You need to do more healing if you need to project you wanted onto Harry who didn’t want it
Glad you spoke up. Poverty can worsen mental health issues. We all have to grow up and tend to our own mental health issues. I too like Gabor. I feel it is unprofessional for him to speak on Harry’s family. If the Prince had no money what choices would he make? Buddha was a prince who chose a life of poverty to find himself. Best to you!
@@laurel7570 Same to you :) & have huge respect for you giving a shout out to my main man Siddhartha Gautama. I think my main point is I am 34 & still struggle with a lot of my conditions due to the fact that I can't fund the treatments, If i were I can 100% say my life would be in a better place. It is why I am such a fan of this podcast, it has been the only thing that I have felt has actually tried to equip me with tools to deal with & manage these issues for no cost.
It’s important to make a distinction between growing up with money, and growing up in an ELITE, WEALTHY, ANCIENT, ARISTOCRATIC family with political, economic, and cultural influence. It’s not really equivalent to “I would’ve preferred to grow up with money than without”. Harry’s family is not like “a family with money”; it’s so beyond that. Theyre enmeshed with history and have intense global media interest. Members of that family are literally born into a role, a contractual agreement with church, state and media against their will. Their identities and personal aspirations are dissolved and discouraged for the sake of maintaining this institution, their wealth and status. They call it the guilted cage for a reason. So that’s why I don’t get why people say, “well he’s got money so how could it have been that bad for him”, because growing up in that kind of family would give you so many issues in itself. I would not trade places with any member of that family ever.
@@OMGitsShrimp Well that was a super well written & well thought out reply, i feel like there is a journalistic background at play here. I first have to apologise that I have not put the same amount of thought into my response. I just try to be honest & am sorry if I have upset anyone with sharing. We are all born into families that come with social, economical & biological contracts that we don't get to have any say in, so he just like the rest of us in that respect. Different families have different relationships with Church & state that they project onto their kids everyday it is just in the press when it happens to the royals. “well he’s got money so how could it have been that bad for him” is what most people are saying is the point of my comment & it isn't. I am saying that trauma is something that is very treatable with specialist help help that isn't offered to all of us despite out NHS as it is such a stretched service (they do so much good I think the NHS is the only good thing about the UK before people think I am having a go at them). He is one of the privileged people who can afford to have therapy when he feels he needs to talk about his trauma & is given healthy & expert advice to help manage his mental health. I am just saying this is the major difference & why I cant really respect what he is saying when he talks openly about his struggles with mental health. I also think he's a pretty cool guy just thought I would make a comment as I found the podcast a good listen. thanks again for your time and reply.
Thank you for this lovely interview. It is my first time listening to Dr Gabor and it is so refreshing to listen to such a wisdom. Wisdom with such compassion that you can hear the possibilities of healing just from listening. Thank you and much respect Sir Dr Gabor. Thank you Dr Rangan for this to watch. A relationship with Jesus is another great solution for faith and healing too.
I learn much more with podcasts and books about myself than with therapy. Maybe I haven’t found the right one yet. This was very insightful, as always! Thank you! In terms of Harry, I think that whoever is self-aware and don’t worship the RF can see what we all see. I also think he’s brave and I would probably have done the same if I was in a system like he was. But that’s me. I understand that opinions differ and respect it. I also have compassion for those who get defensive in this topic and use ‘hate’ as a coping mechanism. Sending loads of love and healing to those hearts ❤️
It's called a class war, people who belong from the private schooling class, Hampstead types, Richmond types, Thatcher wanttobes, come out pointing fingers, gaslight ING, and a lot of these Muslims as well, are acting superior because there told to, are posining society, like the rest of Europe, creating gehttos of violence and crime, and yet no police, policing, so lots of youth have huge dogs for protection and knives, everything is packed to the giills, expensive, this is what I experience, truth doesn't exist, all of this is created by elites given power by monarch on the snide, and yet it's still a democracy, don't follow the media, be aware, protect your self, this country is disgusting, don't trust any organisation like hospitals, they r killing newborns, and old, all in the name of greed, for the godless flabby snobby murderers, English
This is an amazing sane articulate and logical conversation that makes sense unlike all of the other bullying and trolling and nonsense connected to Prince Harry out there. It’s insane how much he is being harassed and bullied.
Absolutelly .. same crossed my mind .. Social media judging harshly due to lock of kniwledge .. Myself impressed with this video .. by two amazing doctors
I absolutely love Dr. Mate. His insights have helped me tremendously to understand the impact of my childhood traumas. Thank you for bringing us such important content. This is my absolute favorite youtube channel.
‘ unnecessary intervention ‘ in child birth - my mum would be 95 yrs of age if she is alive today . She was a midwife in Sri Lanka . She came to UK for my second daughter’s birth in 1984 and commented exactly on un- necessary intervention she witnessed during my short period of giving birth to my youngest daughter . When I was studying psychology , way back , I lived Piaget , Bowlby and many other great psychologists of my time for demonstrating to us how important the ‘ parental love and unconditional love ( Carl Rogers ) mattered to each abd everyone of us - also to any living creatures etc etc . I am enjoying these podcasts and than you so much for making them available for us all to listen and learn . Love abd respect .
Without knowing it Gabor and Rangan are two of the most important and influential people in my life. Sometimes UA-cam/social media can be negative but people like you two are so important and valuable to many thousands of people. Thankyou and keep doing your amazing work
Dr Mate is a truly wonderful advocate for sensitive, kind people 💛 Our society though, which still wants to go into wars, also has a requirement for the opposite, hard, tough people who can ' get the job done'. How do we bring up our children to combine sensitivity and love, in a competitive, often ruthless world? And in the UK, one that currently seeks further division between wealth and poverty? 🤗xx
Yes, it’s crazy that there are people today who want to go to war. Here in Australia we stop for a day each year, Anzac Day, to remember those that served in past wars. The words of Anzac Day ‘Lest We Forget’. Sadly, powerful figures use that day to glorify war. Yet, Charlie Mans, a lad who fought in the First World War spoke the words that reflect the sentiment of the many who actually fought in wars. His mantra was ‘A man who wants war is not right in the head’.
Dr Mate seemed astonished at the negativity and attacks on him after the interview from the media in the UK and on social media. I have to say I'm not remotely surprised in fact it was entirely predictable. I've seen the nasty attitude towards Harry in the media. They lead a lot of people by the nose to make them hate Harry even though they haven't even watched any of his interviews including the one with Dr Mate. But its become the norm in the last few years. We are so divided on every issue under the sun so the attacks on Harry are just part of a wider picture of the media controlling the agenda and feeding people with this bulls*** attitude. Its mind control and its designed to create division and hatred and name calling on both sides. I wish more people would wake up to this.
It isn’t just the attacks from the media. For the media, Harry is entertainment. They just try to destroy him continually. The interview with Harry and Gabor was so moving and real. How dare the psychiatrists and other so called mental health specialists believe that they should have the sole right to diagnose the mental health stresses so many of us suffer from and call Gabor out because he isn’t in their specialist club. I personally learned so much from that interview. I thought Gabor and Harry did a brilliant job in explaining what was going on in Harry’s life. My own mother, working class and British, diagnosed herself as suffering from ADHD., and she never saw a psychiatrist in her life. The closed society of psychiatrists are out of date and out of touch. Thank God for outliers like Gabor. The interview was brilliant. Thanks to both Gabor and Harry for being real, and sharing their life learning experiences with us. The regular media is pretty sick. They help to create the sickness so many of us are suffering from. And the closed world of psychiatry (and much of medicine) is simply out of date.
@@dimitrabouzalas3090 No, Harry is nothing like his mother. I doubt a mother would endorse her own son talking badly about his brother to millions of strangers (for money none the less), and telling petty stories about his brother’s wife.
Sadly, like everyone else in history who tryed to help humanity with GOOD MEDICINE, he would be silenced by those who control the masses. Look what they did to Tesla.
Harry needs a motherly compassionate shoulder to lean on, he misses his late mum very much. Maybe he feels bad he was unable to help her cos he was too young. I wish I could comfort him. I pray that, God willing, he will heal and his soul soothed. Btw, labelling is unkind and isnt helpful at all. It is good to highlight that mental issues need to be resolved in this modern age whereby peace of mind is so elusive. Good to know that kindness, nutrients, psychotherapy, spirituality and going back to Nature help to heal. Stay strong, peace to all, be kind to each other ❤.
"Not being seen for who you are instead of distortions". For me, that is the most important thing you've said. As an unhoused person, I'm constantly seen through distortions. What housed people think they know about homelessness is a set of distortions applied to all unhoused people. It means we are, first of all, hidden from ourselves and hidden from everyone who sees us. All this is compounded by those in position to speak against this atrocity, such as Dr Mate', remaining silent.
@@juliad.6372 Thank you, Julia. I just visited Bosque Redondo, the site of the concentration camp where Apache and Navajo people were held during the Long Walk. The people who run the museum and site learned to listen to the tribes and the museum has been redone to reflect the voices of the tribes. By learning to listen, it is now respectful of the authenticity of people who have long been tossed aside. This can be a lesson in healing and inclusion. If people in power would learn to listen to us and respect us, they could regain their own humanity.
Well done Rangan, well done Harry, I have seen all of your videos Gabor (many) and thank you Gabor, excellent, truthful, courageous, I have experienced big trauma, some similar to Harry. Authenticity and, normal reaction to abnormal circumstances, yes, the truth will set you free. To thine own self be true. Thank you❤❤❤❤❤
Dr Gabor mate, you are exceptional… healing us all by including your first hand experience and guidance! That’s incredible 👏👏 Plus how dr Rangan is bringing this out and addressing to heal each one who can hear and relate … excellent 👍🏼
Yes, scamming vulnerable people one paid televised therapy session at a time. Please wake up, seek one on one counseling and stop falling for these online gurus making bank off of you.
I personally learned a lot from watching how Dr. Maté processed (is processing) his anger and came to terms with the backlash and unkindness of the media. I'm sorry that happened. But, thank you for sharing your heartfelt conflict and honest practice of a raw, almost real-time trauma. The value in this conversation--and thank you so much for sharing this intimate exchange, by the way, it went so deep so quickly--is that we are privileged to see a Master work through such an intense attack like that. Sending hugs and light and a huge imaginary eraser to clear away the noise. Thank you, again. Perfect synergy between you two.
I’m glad Gabor is saying this about Harry. I am Dutch, I have no special interest in any royal family, and I’m sure there’s arguments on both sides - but I’m really taken aback by the way these two people get treated. Venom, indeed. Why are people so ungenerous? Why is it so hard to see that these two people are having a really hard time emotionally? The fact that they have money and status does not heal the psychical wounds. I just don’t get the desire to destroy two human beings emotionally.
This was an excellent conversation! So many of us: (1) feel we have to have an opinion about everything and everyone and that that opinion needs to be expressed (we don’t and it doesn’t; sometimes we just need to listen and allow people to express their story in their own way) and (2) are very selective about which person deserves compassion and grace and which doesn’t, often based on our own trauma, regrets, jealousies, failings, etc. Those people, who are considered people of “privilege,” are often held to a much higher standard of expectations, and there is no mercy applied to them and their story. Thank you for defusing the hyper-emotional responses to the interview and bringing balance and compassion to the entire topic. I so appreciate the stance you both have taken.
I attended a two day workshop in Ireland in 2018 hosted by Gabor. Thank you so much for an amazing podcast interview filled with honesty, compassion, empathy, and courage. Gabor your interviews are getter better! I love your work and what you have done in these past decades on the planet. Love to you and your family. Shane, ☘️
...and kids "pushed" into early (premature, literally) independence make GREAT consumers on so many levels! They're more stressed emotionally and financially but consuming is a great anxiety reliever as big business knows. It's also good for the drug industry. When people live together, they tend to support each other. Costs go down (food, transportation, even clothes and housewares) and they "commune". There's automatically more mirroring; more being seen and heard effortlessly. This is not to say living together never see serious problems, but I'd bet my green smoothie, overall, the mental and physical benefits outweigh anything early independence brings.
There is Scandinavia though, where I'm from. We score high on happiness indexes, and it's generally seen as a little bit socially weird to live with parents after 20 (at the latest), 18/19 is the norm in Norway.
@@HansenFT Indeed. But "weird " is relative. If the average person is emotionally ready to leave home, if they know their position in the world and spiritual landscape, if they reach out for help when overwhelmed by internal or external tragedy regardless of their biological age, they'll be pretty stable and sure, happy. From my experience so far, I'd say fewer and fewer folks at any age in western culture (becoming worldwide as our attitudes infiltrate) have the basic skills needed for confidence and serenity paired with independent living. BTW - being different from the norm doesn't mean one isn't healthy, as Gabor's book title represents. It's wonderful to hear also, that there are places in the world where more people than not have a stable and life affirming foundation!! Please spread the wisdom!
In the USA 🇺🇸 we do not have paid sick/ medical leave for all workers . It depends on what kind of job you have/ this conversation is absolutely eye opening
This 🙌🏾 “the seizing of responsibility - when I understand what happened, now it’s my responsibility and liberty to find a healing.” Incredible wisdom completely wrapped in love. 🌿🌿🌿
i'm so amazed at the discussion regarding Prince Harry. Thank you for bringing that conversation up. I hope people will start changing their opinion about him. Patricia Sydney Australia 🙂
This is a brilliant and ESSENTIAL conversation. Thank you! May we please have more of this to facilitate healing for our societies and our world? Much, much gratitude!
Thank you .i saw the horrid presson both on dr mate and harry ...and it makes my blood boil. I can feel harrys pain.[ My family is /was the same...without the money.] I applaud Harry and megan , i really do. And 2 u also dr mate. Many thanks. Kudos to u dr chatrrjee for recognizing this brilliant man's work...[and yours.] Truly , much appreciation. This work takes COURAGE!
Really great conversation. After reaching a ‘healed’ place after 15 years of constant work and focus. I know better than many how these conversations are essential to make ‘healing wounds’ a real thing.
Whilst understanding all this helps me to know there's nothing wrong with me, in a way, knowing the bigger picture as I suspected it to be instinctively I guess leaves me both feeling empowered and powerless at the same time. It was far easier believing the problems were mine alone in that I felt I had control over how my life progressed, but the insanity of the rest of society and how this has and is currently and horrendously playing out in my life triggering so much trauma that I'm fearful for my life, knowing my limitations in how I can deal with this scares the shit out of me. I find it all exceedingly depressing and want more than ever to get as far as possible from it all but I'm not in any position to leave that won't put my health is further danger. My hands are being tied and breaking free is one hell of a battle, and that's with intelligence and confidence to change my own situation where other people in similar situations as me where I live don't even begin to address as they feel far too anxious and witnessing what I'm going through when I do address this adds to their fears. People I am dealing with have no understanding about trauma and the impact their actions are having on vulnerable people, these are professionals in the public sector who are providers of housing, social and psychological care. The harm they are causing is worth writing a book about, and if I survive this I aim to do just that! The lessons I have learned from Gabor have given me so much confidence. Thank you both for raising awareness about all the crazy madness in this world!
Spectacular interview… I was trepidatious re Dr Mate and Prince Harry’s interview…. However after listening to Dr Mate’s perspectives … I all the more respect and appreciate his voice , his tireless work and insights on the human condition. Thank you 🙏🏾
It’s crazy, isn’t it, that it takes actual COURAGE for dr Chatterjee to confirm and validate the humanity of prince Harry, when a certain mob sentiment has decided anyone not joining in the venom must be taken down. Thanks Rangan and Gabor. I’m glad Gabor and Rangan choose humanity and honesty over
To be fair, Prince William had an even harder time. He was the child who gave Diana tissues while she sobbed, and spoke to her soothingly when she locked herself in the bathroom. Add to that the huge pressures of being The Heir. I'm well aware that siblings experience the same events in family life very differently. Harry, as the younger, was given more protection. Let's be clear: I'm not on the Hate Harry and Meghan bandwagon.
@@SuzanneU There is no doubt they are both traumatised by events from childhood, at the very least. They express it differently due to personality, how each one was treated etc. That does not make Harry less brave especially as he is vilified for choosing to confront a dysfunctional system. I wonder to what extent William has to repress his emotions.
What we cannot ignore, is that this venom towards Harry did not exist, before he married a black woman. The critics and media clearly can not be so nasty towards Megan simply because of her skin color, so they had to find something else to ‘hate’ her for. In walks the ‘narcissist’ label, because…no one likes a narcissist. And because Harry married this (supposed) narcissist…he, too…must now be hated. I can’t help but wonder, had he married a white, British woman…would he STILL have been so viscously attacked when he finally decided to cut his ties with this toxic (albeit ‘Royal’) family?? I can’t help but feel, that he would have been much more supported for his choice to exit (to his mental health) his toxic family, had his partner not been South African. But, we will never know, because he did not marry a white, British woman. Breaking generational toxic patterns takes so much courage, and almost always leads to the ‘pattern breaker’ as being seen as a troublemaker. But not normally on a viscous ‘world scale’ attack. Insulting the Monarchy, by simply escaping, and being honest about their toxic generational habits…should cause applause…not this level of vitriol.
@@cheryldee95 I could not agree more. He is the scapegoat in his family. The media helped rope in a section of the population who need someone to project all their own darkness unto. I hear people willing them to split up each day like playground bullies jeering at the picked on kid in front of a bully saying "fight, fight!!!". I hope they make it as a couple; there is only so much hatred people can withstand before buckling. We live in a toxic world.
No, I think it‘s more that Harry parades his family‘s dirty laundry for money, as well as exploiting his mother‘s death for cash. Harry may be traumatized, but he seems to celebrate it for a living. Not sympathetic at all.
In 1994, my second child, a son, was born in a hospital just outside of Boston. It was a planned C-section - his older sister had been born by emergency c-section 3 years earlier - because ultrasounds had failed to detect that she would weigh 10 lbs at birth - and I am very petite. Her head at birth was bigger than any original anatomical opening available. Despite my second pregnancy being designated as high-risk, no ultrasound could have prepared us for a baby born with several related neurological defects on the spina bifida continuum. A trauma team from Children's Hospital in Boston arrived within half an hour of delivery to take my new baby son for the emergency surgery needed to save his life. Or the 10 days following when he stayed in the NICU, undergoing a battery of tests designed to reveal whether he'd live, and if so, what his quality of life would be. We were fortunate to have access not only to Children's, but to the Chief of Surgery at that time, whose work in separating Siamese Twins was well-known. The family rallied around this little baby, who, born two weeks early at 8 lbs, nevertheless has lost 3 pounds or more by the time I was discharged from the suburban obstetrics unit - 7 days later. I pumped breast-milk while I shook, sobbing, every minute of the day and night for those 7 days. When I was released, I spent every minute I could with my son, in the NICU - but I was not allowed to spend the night. When he was discharged with a tiny colostomy bag, visiting nurses were assigned for a couple of days a week - to make sure I was feeding him properly and managing the colostomy bag. At no point was I offered any counseling; I survived the separation with only the support of daily communion from the Catholic chaplain. My son is 29, married, and applying to elite business schools as I write. My daughter has just begun her residency in Pediatrics at the same hospital that saved her brother's life. My marriage didn't survive. And in 2000, when I left my ex-husband, I was placed on SSDI for severe bipolar disorder, and my legal career, once so bright, came to a permanent end. My son was 5. I had researched everything I could about how to ensure my children's well-being, and the consensus in the mid-'90s was that the first 5 years were crucial to a child developing a healthy sense of self. My children have a healthy sense of self. I do not.
Very insightful conversation. Hoping this gets in the press. This is the important stuff the press should ALSO be mentioning. But is it convenient for them? I hope they start doing it, because this will help people.
Yes, Gabor, as a yoga teacher, I always make sure my students understand that it isn't therapy or practice - it is a class. You were interviewing Harry and you were on a show, not performing therapy.
To begin healing I think first we need to acknowledge there’s a problem or admit to ourselves that we didn’t know better. Now that I know better then apologies to the people you hurt specifically our children so that they don’t think something is or was wrong with them. Own my mistakes, unburden my children, seek help and choose to be emotionally available for myself first then those that I love.
Awesome interview! Appreciate the honesty of personal stories! It makes me think of my childhood and how it affected me in my life choices and raising my son. Thank you! Your podcasts are changing lives!
Totally agree. Ive been waitiing for this conversation amongst all the negative press surrounding Harry. I cant think of a better therapist than Gabor Mate to lead this discussion and a better platform than your channel Dr Chatterjee. Harry is a cycle breaker. And his efforts are even more impressive considering the system he is working against. Respect.
Dr Maté is unbelievably good at what he does, he is a genius. Many of his peers would have like to have an interview with Royalty. Dr Maté just ignore the press, when you are that good, there is bound to be opposition.
Some years ago I stopped watching the television. I started to focus more on time to myself and having my own project each year with a personal hobby. I changed my workflow so I worked 6 days a week for 3 weeks and then my partner and I take a Friday to Monday long weekend and get away for a 4 day break together. We really look forward to each break and enjoy our time together. We both agree that love is not possible all the time, but is actually something we make time for and quality is better than quantity. In areas of life where other peoples anger and frustration interact with me, I let it go. I let people overtake me and I don’t tolerate rude behaviour from customers in my business. It’s not that I don’t think “idiot!” It’s just that I don’t mirror other people’s bad behaviour. One very important thing we’ve both done is improved our diet by eating less but with more fresh vegetables and no processed foods. I just wanted to share this information. My grandmother had a very hard and financially poor and stressful life. She always had time for us and never gave in to anxiety or depression. Many of things we’ve done are an attempt to recreate her lifestyle in a bid to improve out health overall. It’s worked 💯
Ive been a social worker and now psychotherapists in the Uk..... this is such an important sunject with such truth and awareness of what is needed for the workd and balanced human groth. .....how can we get our givernents to hear and understand this vital reasearch.....who and where are people gatgering to explain and promte this at governents in an international way.....still so much ignorance about these basic but life changing needs....😮
It's one of the fantastic talks I have ever heard with Dr. Gabor. Thank you so much for your brave questions and for responding. My name is Sharona Duchne, I m the founder of Adoption Wisdom in Israel. I will be delighted to be a guest in your talk. Thank you
I’m only 12 minutes in to this conversation. I love Dr Gabor Mate’s work however it’s so painful for me. I was a 22 yr old unwed mother when I had my oldest son. My mother yelled at me when she found out I was pregnant asking me why I didn’t just get an abortion … she’s a prolife catholic. She then shunned me for 3 months and my father barely spoke with me. I was living at home and going to college at the time. They would not talk with me about a plan - give the child up for adoption, bring him home. I was depressed, alone, lost and didn’t know what to do. My son had adhd, developed epilepsy in adolescence and life was a struggle. He died at 32 yrs old from a seizure. I believe that my pregnancy and all of the stress hormones raging through our bodies had a horrible impact on him. His early childhood was full of stress as well. It was an unloving, emotionally unsupportive environment. It has been a struggle to have forgiveness for myself and my parents. They have no idea the impact and wouldn’t want to hear about it. I’m left with this deep pain…so yeah, it’s such an important conversation and really hard too. 💜my Joe
I’m so sorry to hear of your situation and loss. I wish you peace and healing ❤️🩹
@@Muslimah393 thank you for the kind words.
Hurts to read your story😢. I pray you climb over your past and live a life of love moving forward. Dr Gabor is a great teacher for all of us to learn from. We have to be intentional, though, to get the help we need.
Thank you for sharing, your life story touched my heart and saddened to hear of your losing your son. I can only imagine what a painful experience that is @Peace&Love444 💚May all your experiences be an opening to processing and healing. I am also on my healing journey and find it helpful listening daily to content like this.
So many women shamed and abused IN THIS MOST VUNERABLE TIME ❤
No matter how much I listen to Gabor Maté, I can't stop listening. 😊
facts ❤
He is one of the greats !
At last an intelligent and compassionate conversation about mental health and its links with society and its culture. Very enlightening. Thank you.
A good friend once said to me, “don’t try to fix me, just listen!” When I have a problem, just talking about it to someone who will just listen, really helps me to see it and to see the next step towards the solution.
I can feel my own inner child soothed by witnessing you have empathy and understanding for Harry (as well as anyone involved). There is power and healing in aknowledgeing the struggles of another human being, no matter how different we perceive them to be 💚
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Beautifully said.
A brilliant discussion from two brilliant caring and empathic physicians. Thank you! Don’t ever stop! We need you!
Yes!
Yes! ❤
All this approval and agreement. I feel sad and pained woundedness that there is no open minded, good faith, fair minded engagement in objective standards of reasoned deliberation about this complex and complicated story. 😔
What a magnificent man, I can't get enough of his interviews, his demeanor, attitude, tone of voice and the manner of speech, his beautiful, beautiful and wonderful mind, the depth of sensitivity, humility and wisdom. I wish more people were like him. I am grateful that I have an opportunity and ability to see and listen and understand this man. Thank you Dr. Rangan!
Yes indeed .. my first time watching and very impressed with Dr Mate .. he has a wealth of knowledge
Harry chose well ..
you two doctors confirm my intuitive impression I have had of Prince Harry for years!!!! I am glad for Harry to have such supportive conversation from you Thank you 😀🙏🏻
Thank you for supporting Harry!
I am a homebirth midwife and am so glad to see the toxicity of our medical birth culture addressed here. It’s SO important! As well as mothers being supported before and after birth.
Yes , thank you 🙏 agreed
Also the status of the person and the couple before and even during the child's conception. Can't jut expect things to get better/be good before and after birth.Needed waaaaay before that. Roots..childhood wounds. All of it
Let's not forget the atrocity of infant male circumcision in the usa if that ain't toxic towards mother and baby don't know what is.
@@toshiojohnston3732 circumcision is done bc males can't keep themselves clean, and doesn't compare to childbirth or Female mutilation. foreskin is nasty, it's the least males can do to not be cheese dicks.
I TOLD MY DAUGHTER THE OTHER DAY,,ALL ANTICIPATING PARENTS SHOULD BE ENCOURAGED TO ATTEND PARENTING CLASSES BEFORE CHILDBIRTH,,,GIVE THEM INCENTIVES TO ATTEND CLASSES,,EG MONEY,GIFT CARDS,STROLLER,FREE DIAPERS,FOOD COUPONS,,,IN THE LONG RUN WE WOULD HAVE A HEALTHIER SOCIETY,,,AND ABOVE ALL GIVING MOTHERS/FATHERS THE FREEDOM TO RAISE THEIR CHILD X 1-2 YEARS.,
Gabor is so amazing to listen to. I learn something every time about my own childhood & upbringing and how a lot of that has played out in my adult life. Asking for help can be the hardest thing to do when you were taught as a child that it’s a sign of weakness & that anyway, everyone else has their own problems so wouldn’t want to be burdened by yours. I’m 60+ and I have reached out for help in the past but still find it hard. Thanks Dr Rangan & Dr Mate. These conversations are so valuable.
Harrys answer made me cry....... thank you Rangan and Gabor, this is so needed. Thank you.
🎯villifying & victim blaming the one who exposes the toxic, narcissistic culture (that they are unable to change for the better) ❤ 41:00 "what's happened to you rather than what's wrong with you". Thank you for giving Harry a compassionate platform, God bless you 🙏🇬🇧
"They're f*** grifters" 😭😭 Spotify gone, Netflix gone. 2 hour car chase in New York 🤣🤣 "We want privacy" Bwaaaghh
I am a senior American who is limited socially...first the pandemic, then the outrageous inflation causing seniors to struggle to afford groceries or anything else; but the terrible healthcare system here and over 200 mass shootings so far in 2023...the racism and hateful political system here - The wars are affecting all of us.
HOW CAN WE NOT HAVE MENTAL ISSUES?
Although having researched leaving/escaping the US, my life's savings have been exhausted just trying to get by. I know seniors around the world suffer the same 🙏 Praying for all of us 🙏
You could think live in Portugal.
@@mariamanuelasilva5987 i would love to!!! But I do not have the $$$ to move...I have several rescue cats and I will not leave them behind 🐾🐈 They were all I had during the pandemic and are my babies.
Thank you for thinking of me 💌🙏
We will pray for you .
@@mariamanuelasilva5987 thank you for your kindness 🙏
Turn of mainstream media and their fear mongering. Lots and lots of positive things and changes happen around the world every day
I live in the UK. We have jobs we love, we live in a lovely neighborhood, we are able to pay a rent and provide everything our children need but I am missing my parents and my friends (that causes a lot of tension, sadness and inconsistency in my parenting practice). I am deprived of friendships and meaningful relationships. Financial stability is precious but social "normality" I used to have in Greece is priceless!
One wise woman compared my immigrant experience to that of someone who had escaped a war or something similar. I moved from Lithuania to the U.S. I can relate to your personal alienation100%! It is no joke! I functioned like a living zombie as I was raising my kids. Best of luck to you, I wish you all the healing I didn't have!
@@almamikaliukas547 Thank you very much! I am sorry to hear you are still struggling. And I also feel that it's so unfair that our governments and the whole system didn't support people to live their lives in their home countries.
Thank you and all the best to you too!
Thank you 🙏.
I believe from what I have read the Greek culture has a stronger bond in their community than some other cultures. The mental health of a community is very important. As opposed to hanging in an isolating culture.
@@laurel7570 Yes, I believe that's also a factor
Such a good and meaningful conversation between 2 intelligent men. It's such a rare event nowadays...
For the first six years of my daughter’s life, we lived in Taiwan. As a result, I had a nice maternity leave and then a flexible work schedule that allowed me time with my daughter that I don’t think I could have had in The States. Also as a result of living there, I saw that many parents coslept. We did the same with my daughter. She’s now 22 and I can see how these early years and this contact with me and her father at the time, provided her with something good. My daughter is just about to move away for the first time. She’s excited, but not running. Ready and prepared for her independence.
Thanks for this talk. I learn so much about how we’re formed.
You cannot believe how happy I am to see him. He is humanity's treasure. You are so lucky to speak to him
I have just found this channel, mainly due to the attraction of listening to Dr Mate! I have now subscribed. I found listening to these fine professionals talk about Prince Harry, cemented in my mind why I have supported him all along. There have been reminders for me of my own family life as a child and those of my siblings, all affected in some way by our parents who really only did their best at the time. It's sad for me that so much knowledge has reached me in my later years and having no children to pass it on to, I just hope that at some stage I have shown my vulnerabilities to others and so help them to realise they also have these struggles, we are not alone. Thank you both.
Thanks for the work you put into creating these videos! You've helped me so much in fighting depression, working out, eating healthier, sleeping more! My life is so much better now. I've gained priceless knowledge. The world needs more people like you. Greetings from Poland :)
BLESSINGS, AND HAPPY HEALINGS
People are so cruel bout Harry it's sad. I like him he is a kind soul
I like him too. He needs to work out his issues with love and support honestly and within some boundaries and parameters. Dr. Gabor, of all people, should know those parameters.
And NO, he has NOT been a kind soul, nor has he approached any of the past 4+ years with any decency ,respect or with privacy for others.
@@jm5386hiding dysfunctions is what causes problems in the first place and dysfunctional families are renown for shooting the messenger.
In my view Harry's first responsibility is to the family he created. I'm not concerned by his birth family's suffering as I'd prefer that his kids not suffer in the same way and thereby repeat the pattern.
??? He sat there and said nothing when Megan spouted off all of her wild stories. The late Queen requested to see him just prior to her passing away and he was too busy to visit his beloved granny. I'm not seeing any kindness in any of it.
@@j.t.1215Exactly. I want to be supportive of H because I, too, am a survivor of both childhood and adult Narcissistic ABUSE and Neglect, just like him. But he has shown no compassion or intelligence or anything commendable. He has killed animals - horses etc. and hospitalized sex workers- ALLEGEDLY.
He's just sank under his wife's evil tutelage and become his worst traits...I do it approve. I am unimpressed. In fact I am sickened by both of their antics.
For decades, families have toxically groomed their children…to never speak about the mental abuse, alcoholism, physical abuse, financial abuse, sexual abuse, misogynistic and associated hierarchy thinking that the man is the most important (and the only one ‘free’ to do whatever he bloody well pleases, because of his declared ‘high status’) person in the home. And they call it dedication to ‘family privacy’. “Don’t wash your dirty laundry in public”…or YOU are a ‘bad’ person. Rather than allowing the unacceptable behaviour to be openly discussed…as a MEANS to keep the adults accountable for their own actions and behaviour…rather than guilting their children to become their ‘secret keepers’. That…is child abuse, right there!! What a burden, for a child to be expected to LIE (by omission of ‘the truth’)…so save their abusive parent’s reputation. Brutal. It’s disgusting, and it needs to stop. 🛑
Absolutely true. And when you tell the truth, prepare to be attacked.
I told the truth. Been ostracized. 💯. But i've never been happier...
Finally someone speaking on compassion for Harry🎉 BRAVO👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏🙌Thank you Rangan and Gabor. Love yr collaboration would like to see more of you together again. Beautiful podcast.
I'm a single mum. Father left us when my son was born, he had no interest in looking after us. My parents, I felt, abandoned me, all my friends and everyone I knew left me to fend for myself. I did my best, my son is now 15yo. I breastfed for as long as possible and tried to have lots of cuddles, but I was depressed, lonely and had nothing and no future. My parents wouldn't let me live at home with them, and so I had to rent alone. I'm still lonely and now I'm burn out and fried. My son is doing well academically, I always try to provide social opportunities for my son and now (it's taken me a while) myself as well. We have joined beach volleyball and our first weekend down to play was the best day we've ever had. When my son goes to uni I'm not sure what to do, I can't afford to pay for his accommodation so we may have to move together to uni and work it out from there, not sure yet. But what compounds my situation is, in a moment of desperation, I entered teaching. So I've added work place chronic stress for 15 years. Time to move on. I cry when I think about how my circumstances has impacted my son thru no fault of his own, mum guilt is terrible. I've tried to do the best I can and suppress my bad habits and upbringing and tried to nurture him. It still isn't easy and I hope he'll be okay growing up as an adult. Thank you for these videos, because it helps verify what I'm going thru and what I need to do to move forward.
I am so glad that you discussed this. So many of us grew up with severe emotional experiences with family. When you do not receive positive emotional feedback, it is scarring as we do not know how to convey to others the right emotions or support. Where are the nurturing parents that make a newly born baby feel secure and loved?
I agree with you as well regarding animals. They hug, clean, move their little ones out of danger.
We are too desensitized to our inner conscience and feelings of empathy and compassion to self and others.
Kudos to mr. Mate!!…I agree 100%, our society is insane🤯😖🤯
Dr. Mate. He is an MD, a medical doctor.
Our society is not insane, don't use that word. It is simply on the wrong path and we should correct it.
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thank you for humanizing Harry
Amen 🎯🥰🇬🇧
Thank you for speaking up for him. This whole thing is heartbreaking. I feel so much compassion for Harry. I pray their family is ok.
I pray for Harry and Meghan.
They are fine, wealthy and making money off of stories about their relatives… Harry should learn to have compassion for his own brother and stop sharing private stories about him.
Yes, media is vicious and Harry has blatantly decided to partake in that toxicity, keep in mind he and his wife were forced to admit in a UK court they had been feeding stories to the media without disclosing it, they are no better than weird UK tabloids
I really enjoy listening to Dr Gabor Matė. I have learned so much about how to deal with ADHD, High Functioning Autism/Asperger’s Syndrome and how it effects the people around me. His teachings on trauma have already helped me with my wife and two daughters (1,3) and how I can help them. I wish I could meet him over a cup of tea and bikkies one day.
What an amazingly powerful conversation! I am one of those people who are learning and healing with the help of these podcasts. Please continue to share these thoughts and information with us! 🙏😊
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What? Cuddle a kid when they need to be held? It's OK to want to be held, comforted? Totally not my family. When my parents told me my best friend died, I was 15. They told me and then said that I wasn't to mope and needed to understand that life goes on and sent me to a party where I knew no one. It was a nightmare and I still tend to not like parties. But I was always scolded whenever I felt bad. You know, after listening to Gabor I understand my brother so much better and in spite of it all, no matter how clumsy, and it has been, he has always striven to be a good person. Now I feel both bad for feeling so frustrated with him all my life but also so grateful for my newfound compassion for "damaged" people. It heals me, if that makes sense.
When Gabor says 'it's not going to happen' the fact is that change happens slowly and Harry has started it which is really the only way it could happen. So this is the beginning of something...nothing changes over night. It's one small step at a time. Thanks for this conversation.
Good to know & hear someone addressing these problems we have going on around us, nobody else is. He is saying things Ive been feeling, but cant express to anyone.
What you on about there is people speaking out however they get labelled far right WS. Try Nick Fuentes for starters.
Such an insightful and compassionate conversation. Thanks for. speaking up for Harry and understand his POV. Just a heartbreaking story. I hope he is ok and his family can all heal.
When I had my first child it was FROWNED UPON to bring your newborn baby into your marital bed = What other animal gives birth to a fragile baby and puts it away in a cot in another room ???? Shocking No wonder we have mental problems today
Or have him circumcised within hours.
Well there is a good chance that you smother the child accidently if you are sleeping together in soft bed with cushions and blankets.
@@SorbusAucubaria In Germany child beds who have one side open that get attached to the bed are popular.
Thank you for your attention to this issue.
I attended the conversation between Dr. Mate and Prince Harry and the issue of childhood traumas which affect us as adults. It was incredibly insightful.
In addition to underestimating the impact of the early traumas of our lives, and living in a toxic society, too many people consider celebrity to mean that a fandom as well as the so-called journalists and paps think they own people who are famous. Great artists, athletes and other public figures are expected to tolerate the loss of privacy, constant abuse on social media, and demands for selfies and such. It's on the same level as bear-baiting of centuries past.
So if you are a splendid human being with a great deal to offer the world, you will not only need to deal with the trauma that shaped you in your early years, you will be re-traumatized for your excellence. And somehow, many people don't find anything wrong with that.
@@Phoebus_Apollo That's one way to approach the problem. However, in today's world actors' followers and likes are a bankable commodity and likely to result in them being hired for projects. H&M's philanthropy also benefits significantly from this reality. Over $70,000 has been raised for a charity in celebration of Archie and Lilli's birthdays and that number is still growing. Playgrounds for other children will be created as a result.
Also, M was silent for several months and the British Press continued to print ridiculous articles about her. On coronation day Twitter was flooded with Megan (and Harry) content. I had to scroll for several minutes to find the first shot of the backs of C&C on the palace balcony. Staying home made no difference.
I would prefer stronger legislation that would make stalking and chasing of anyone on foot or in a vehicle of any kind illegal and come with severe penalties. No more hanging about in wait to jump someone for a photo either. Without that level of legislation, the police can do nothing as it's not a crime.
The police position consistently is that they cannot protect rich or famous people as that's not their job. Well, I disagree. Protecting ALL people is their job. Society needs to give them the means to do it properly.
Yes, we have a society whose #1 priority is profit. Everything is created and produced for the purpose of profit. So yes, in a sense, you go to school, get a degree for what purpose? To work for a big corporation to make a profit , not to make a world a better place. Therefore people are objectified in this type of society. Everything is based on a superficial narcissistic dynamic of heirarchy, and so famous people are used as a type of example or role model which is peddled and sold to the public... These role models can sell value systems or new medical procedures and such things to the public .. remember when Angelina jolie came out and said she had the breast cancer gene and promptly chopped off her boobs and replaced them with plastic ones? That was a total medical advertisement. But that's how it works. Everything we do is being given to validate and support a toxic society
Beautifully put. Thk u
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This is an excellent point.
I admire dr. Mate since I first heared his lecture. Now seen him stend up for Harry despite all the pressure from sociaty, he is reall Herro.❤
Thanks both of you.
Another HUGE factor I believe is how much our culture pushes us to give our blood, sweat, and tears to our jobs…and if we’re not competitive then we are looked as “less than”. Therefore, that stress of climbing the corporate ladder is an expected part of our culture and pushes us in abnormal ways that ultimately have dire effects to our bodies. That stress compounds. No job is worth our health. I’ve learned it the hard way!
Dear Dr
I can identify so much with this conversation. I lost my father when I was 13 and although I am okay and happy these days at 54 it took a long time to have some peace. I am also amazed about the venum that is leveled at Harry and Meghan. I feel his pain and can identify with that. To be authentic to yourself and if that authenticity is not in the box or of what is expected of you always makes waves and will bring pain to you.
I live in a toxic little American town. They call it the town built by friendliness but only if you're exactly like them .. I think a huge, huge source of built up anger in alot of people on alot of these small homogenized towns is that they didn't get to be themselves and so how dare you go and try to be yourself!! I even had a client say something similar to me once... Imagine living life in a way that prohibits your self expression? I think the natural response of the soul would be volcanic anger? Maybe that's just my natural drama coming through?
Yes, self expression. Is so important
THERE ARE SO MANY OTHER PLACES TO LIVE,,I LIVED IN A TOWN LIKE THAT,MOSTLY HISPANIC FEW BLACKS,,AFTER 7 YEARS I LEFT,SO MUCH RACISM,,,,IF I WERE HISPANIC I WOULD LIVE NO WHERE ELSE...MY YOUNG DAUGHTERS SUFFERED ALSO..
Not just towns but my personal family. My father was a narcissist and called all the shots so we all lived in fear and there was no way we could have self expression or any sense of self. I’ve lived my whole life going by what other people think of me and tell me what to do. For the 1rst time I’m waking up and trying to have some self identity and waiting for my creative self to come out.
I love you Guys, I strongly believe, that you are very kind persons. My unhappy childhood affected all my life, I was bullied, humiliated since I was very little girl, this trauma affected all my life. Now I am nearly 70 years old, but this pain is still inside me. I understand Harry what is he going through.
Thank you for this video!!!!
As a person who has suffered Childhood trauma I can say that I would rather suffer it & come from a family of privilege than poverty. I have been on the bread line & had huge issues with my mental health as a direct result. I Think this is the biggest factor that makes anyone complain or criticise him.
This sounds negative but I listen to all your pods & usually find them so helpful thank you.
I grew up in a poor family and went through a lot of abuse.
Not once did I think that being rich would have been better.
You need to do more healing if you need to project you wanted onto Harry who didn’t want it
Glad you spoke up. Poverty can worsen mental health issues.
We all have to grow up and tend to our own mental health issues. I too like Gabor. I feel it is unprofessional for him to speak on Harry’s family. If the Prince had no money what choices would he make? Buddha was a prince who chose a life of poverty to find himself. Best to you!
@@laurel7570 Same to you :) & have huge respect for you giving a shout out to my main man Siddhartha Gautama.
I think my main point is I am 34 & still struggle with a lot of my conditions due to the fact that I can't fund the treatments, If i were I can 100% say my life would be in a better place.
It is why I am such a fan of this podcast, it has been the only thing that I have felt has actually tried to equip me with tools to deal with & manage these issues for no cost.
It’s important to make a distinction between growing up with money, and growing up in an ELITE, WEALTHY, ANCIENT, ARISTOCRATIC family with political, economic, and cultural influence. It’s not really equivalent to “I would’ve preferred to grow up with money than without”.
Harry’s family is not like “a family with money”; it’s so beyond that. Theyre enmeshed with history and have intense global media interest. Members of that family are literally born into a role, a contractual agreement with church, state and media against their will. Their identities and personal aspirations are dissolved and discouraged for the sake of maintaining this institution, their wealth and status. They call it the guilted cage for a reason.
So that’s why I don’t get why people say, “well he’s got money so how could it have been that bad for him”, because growing up in that kind of family would give you so many issues in itself. I would not trade places with any member of that family ever.
@@OMGitsShrimp Well that was a super well written & well thought out reply, i feel like there is a journalistic background at play here. I first have to apologise that I have not put the same amount of thought into my response. I just try to be honest & am sorry if I have upset anyone with sharing.
We are all born into families that come with social, economical & biological contracts that we don't get to have any say in, so he just like the rest of us in that respect. Different families have different relationships with Church & state that they project onto their kids everyday it is just in the press when it happens to the royals.
“well he’s got money so how could it have been that bad for him” is what most people are saying is the point of my comment & it isn't. I am saying that trauma is something that is very treatable with specialist help help that isn't offered to all of us despite out NHS as it is such a stretched service (they do so much good I think the NHS is the only good thing about the UK before people think I am having a go at them). He is one of the privileged people who can afford to have therapy when he feels he needs to talk about his trauma & is given healthy & expert advice to help manage his mental health. I am just saying this is the major difference & why I cant really respect what he is saying when he talks openly about his struggles with mental health. I also think he's a pretty cool guy just thought I would make a comment as I found the podcast a good listen. thanks again for your time and reply.
Thank you for this lovely interview. It is my first time listening to Dr Gabor and it is so refreshing to listen to such a wisdom. Wisdom with such compassion that you can hear the possibilities of healing just from listening. Thank you and much respect Sir Dr Gabor. Thank you Dr Rangan for this to watch. A relationship with Jesus is another great solution for faith and healing too.
I learn much more with podcasts and books about myself than with therapy. Maybe I haven’t found the right one yet. This was very insightful, as always! Thank you!
In terms of Harry, I think that whoever is self-aware and don’t worship the RF can see what we all see. I also think he’s brave and I would probably have done the same if I was in a system like he was. But that’s me. I understand that opinions differ and respect it. I also have compassion for those who get defensive in this topic and use ‘hate’ as a coping mechanism. Sending loads of love and healing to those hearts ❤️
A lot of people seem so hard and angry these days. Thank God for Dr Gabor.
It's called a class war, people who belong from the private schooling class, Hampstead types, Richmond types, Thatcher wanttobes, come out pointing fingers, gaslight ING, and a lot of these Muslims as well, are acting superior because there told to, are posining society, like the rest of Europe, creating gehttos of violence and crime, and yet no police, policing, so lots of youth have huge dogs for protection and knives, everything is packed to the giills, expensive, this is what I experience, truth doesn't exist, all of this is created by elites given power by monarch on the snide, and yet it's still a democracy, don't follow the media, be aware, protect your self, this country is disgusting, don't trust any organisation like hospitals, they r killing newborns, and old, all in the name of greed, for the godless flabby snobby murderers, English
This is an amazing sane articulate and logical conversation that makes sense unlike all of the other bullying and trolling and nonsense connected to Prince Harry out there. It’s insane how much he is being harassed and bullied.
Absolutelly .. same crossed my mind ..
Social media judging harshly due to lock of kniwledge ..
Myself impressed with this video ..
by two amazing doctors
Well said
I absolutely love Dr. Mate. His insights have helped me tremendously to understand the impact of my childhood traumas. Thank you for bringing us such important content. This is my absolute favorite youtube channel.
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‘ unnecessary intervention ‘ in child birth - my mum would be 95 yrs of age if she is alive today . She was a midwife in Sri Lanka . She came to UK for my second daughter’s birth in 1984 and commented exactly on un- necessary intervention she witnessed during my short period of giving birth to my youngest daughter . When I was studying psychology , way back , I lived Piaget , Bowlby and many other great psychologists of my time for demonstrating to us how important the ‘ parental love and unconditional love ( Carl Rogers ) mattered to each abd everyone of us - also to any living creatures etc etc . I am enjoying these podcasts and than you so much for making them available for us all to listen and learn . Love abd respect .
Without knowing it Gabor and Rangan are two of the most important and influential people in my life. Sometimes UA-cam/social media can be negative but people like you two are so important and valuable to many thousands of people. Thankyou and keep doing your amazing work
Dr Mate is a truly wonderful advocate for sensitive, kind people 💛
Our society though, which still wants to go into wars, also has a requirement for the opposite, hard, tough people who can ' get the job done'.
How do we bring up our children to combine sensitivity and love, in a competitive, often ruthless world? And in the UK, one that currently seeks further division between wealth and poverty? 🤗xx
Excellent question ❤
Great question.
This comment needs to be pinned. As the other two commenters have said, it's a good and excellent question.
Yes, it’s crazy that there are people today who want to go to war. Here in Australia we stop for a day each year, Anzac Day, to remember those that served in past wars. The words of Anzac Day ‘Lest We Forget’. Sadly, powerful figures use that day to glorify war. Yet, Charlie Mans, a lad who fought in the First World War spoke the words that reflect the sentiment of the many who actually fought in wars. His mantra was ‘A man who wants war is not right in the head’.
I’m so impressed by the intelligence and sensitivity of Dr. Chatterjee.
Love Dr. Maté. We are lucky to have
his wisdom and compassion
Dr Mate seemed astonished at the negativity and attacks on him after the interview from the media in the UK and on social media. I have to say I'm not remotely surprised in fact it was entirely predictable. I've seen the nasty attitude towards Harry in the media. They lead a lot of people by the nose to make them hate Harry even though they haven't even watched any of his interviews including the one with Dr Mate. But its become the norm in the last few years. We are so divided on every issue under the sun so the attacks on Harry are just part of a wider picture of the media controlling the agenda and feeding people with this bulls*** attitude. Its mind control and its designed to create division and hatred and name calling on both sides. I wish more people would wake up to this.
It isn’t just the attacks from the media. For the media, Harry is entertainment. They just try to destroy him continually. The interview with Harry and Gabor was so moving and real. How dare the psychiatrists and other so called mental health specialists believe that they should have the sole right to diagnose the mental health stresses so many of us suffer from and call Gabor out because he isn’t in their specialist club. I personally learned so much from that interview. I thought Gabor and Harry did a brilliant job in explaining what was going on in Harry’s life. My own mother, working class and British, diagnosed herself as suffering from ADHD., and she never saw a psychiatrist in her life. The closed society of psychiatrists are out of date and out of touch. Thank God for outliers like Gabor. The interview was brilliant. Thanks to both Gabor and Harry for being real, and sharing their life learning experiences with us. The regular media is pretty sick. They help to create the sickness so many of us are suffering from. And the closed world of psychiatry (and much of medicine) is simply out of date.
Yep I wish that too - thank you for your compassion
Sadly yes. Rupert Murdoch seizing on any opportunity to divide the nation, again.
It’s especially weird considering how much Britain loved Lady Di, Harry is so much like her and is going through similar issues . The mind boggles.
@@dimitrabouzalas3090 No, Harry is nothing like his mother. I doubt a mother would endorse her own son talking badly about his brother to millions of strangers (for money none the less), and telling petty stories about his brother’s wife.
Love Gabor!!! He’s brilliant and his teachings need to become mainstream 🙏
Sadly, like everyone else in history who tryed to help humanity with GOOD MEDICINE, he would be silenced by those who control the masses. Look what they did to Tesla.
he already has.He has been on many huge platforms such as Jre.
Harry needs a motherly compassionate shoulder to lean on, he misses his late mum very much. Maybe he feels bad he was unable to help her cos he was too young. I wish I could comfort him. I pray that, God willing, he will heal and his soul soothed.
Btw, labelling is unkind and isnt helpful at all. It is good to highlight that mental issues need to be resolved in this modern age whereby peace of mind is so elusive.
Good to know that kindness, nutrients, psychotherapy, spirituality and going back to Nature help to heal. Stay strong, peace to all, be kind to each other ❤.
Gabor's message needs to be shouted from the rooftops.
Dr. Mate is an amazing healer. Thank you for having him on Dr. Chatterjee. I love your channel.
"Not being seen for who you are instead of distortions".
For me, that is the most important thing you've said. As an unhoused person, I'm constantly seen through distortions. What housed people think they know about homelessness is a set of distortions applied to all unhoused people. It means we are, first of all, hidden from ourselves and hidden from everyone who sees us.
All this is compounded by those in position to speak against this atrocity, such as Dr Mate', remaining silent.
Well said ..
The lock of knowledge , understanding etc .. are those who are incapable to think rationally. 🎉
@@juliad.6372 Thank you, Julia. I just visited Bosque Redondo, the site of the concentration camp where Apache and Navajo people were held during the Long Walk. The people who run the museum and site learned to listen to the tribes and the museum has been redone to reflect the voices of the tribes. By learning to listen, it is now respectful of the authenticity of people who have long been tossed aside. This can be a lesson in healing and inclusion. If people in power would learn to listen to us and respect us, they could regain their own humanity.
THIS CONVERSATION COMES FROM THE HEART & GOES RIGHT INTO HEART !!!❤❤❤❤
Well done Rangan, well done Harry, I have seen all of your videos Gabor (many) and thank you Gabor, excellent, truthful, courageous, I have experienced big trauma, some similar to Harry. Authenticity and, normal reaction to abnormal circumstances, yes, the truth will set you free. To thine own self be true. Thank you❤❤❤❤❤
Greetings from Hungary. I m more proud of Dr. Mate than beating England in football about a hundred years ago.
Dr Gabor mate, you are exceptional… healing us all by including your first hand experience and guidance! That’s incredible 👏👏
Plus how dr Rangan is bringing this out and addressing to heal each one who can hear and relate … excellent 👍🏼
Yes, scamming vulnerable people one paid televised therapy session at a time. Please wake up, seek one on one counseling and stop falling for these online gurus making bank off of you.
I personally learned a lot from watching how Dr. Maté processed (is processing) his anger and came to terms with the backlash and unkindness of the media. I'm sorry that happened. But, thank you for sharing your heartfelt conflict and honest practice of a raw, almost real-time trauma. The value in this conversation--and thank you so much for sharing this intimate exchange, by the way, it went so deep so quickly--is that we are privileged to see a Master work through such an intense attack like that. Sending hugs and light and a huge imaginary eraser to clear away the noise. Thank you, again. Perfect synergy between you two.
My heart has broken for him… the tiny little guy following his Mothers coffin 😭😭😭. People are so dense, cruel, judging and mean 😢
I’m glad Gabor is saying this about Harry. I am Dutch, I have no special interest in any royal family, and I’m sure there’s arguments on both sides - but I’m really taken aback by the way these two people get treated. Venom, indeed. Why are people so ungenerous? Why is it so hard to see that these two people are having a really hard time emotionally? The fact that they have money and status does not heal the psychical wounds.
I just don’t get the desire to destroy two human beings emotionally.
This was an excellent conversation! So many of us: (1) feel we have to have an opinion about everything and everyone and that that opinion needs to be expressed (we don’t and it doesn’t; sometimes we just need to listen and allow people to express their story in their own way) and (2) are very selective about which person deserves compassion and grace and which doesn’t, often based on our own trauma, regrets, jealousies, failings, etc. Those people, who are considered people of “privilege,” are often held to a much higher standard of expectations, and there is no mercy applied to them and their story.
Thank you for defusing the hyper-emotional responses to the interview and bringing balance and compassion to the entire topic. I so appreciate the stance you both have taken.
I attended a two day workshop in Ireland in 2018 hosted by Gabor.
Thank you so much for an amazing podcast interview filled with honesty, compassion, empathy, and courage. Gabor your interviews are getter better! I love your work and what you have done in these past decades on the planet. Love to you and your family. Shane, ☘️
...and kids "pushed" into early (premature, literally) independence make GREAT consumers on so many levels! They're more stressed emotionally and financially but consuming is a great anxiety reliever as big business knows. It's also good for the drug industry.
When people live together, they tend to support each other. Costs go down (food, transportation, even clothes and housewares) and they "commune". There's automatically more mirroring; more being seen and heard effortlessly.
This is not to say living together never see serious problems, but I'd bet my green smoothie, overall, the mental and physical benefits outweigh anything early independence brings.
There is Scandinavia though, where I'm from. We score high on happiness indexes, and it's generally seen as a little bit socially weird to live with parents after 20 (at the latest), 18/19 is the norm in Norway.
@@HansenFT
Indeed.
But "weird " is relative.
If the average person is emotionally ready to leave home, if they know their position in the world and spiritual landscape, if they reach out for help when overwhelmed by internal or external tragedy regardless of their biological age, they'll be pretty stable and sure, happy.
From my experience so far, I'd say fewer and fewer folks at any age in western culture (becoming worldwide as our attitudes infiltrate) have the basic skills needed for confidence and serenity paired with independent living.
BTW - being different from the norm doesn't mean one isn't healthy, as Gabor's book title represents.
It's wonderful to hear also, that there are places in the world where more people than not have a stable and life affirming foundation!!
Please spread the wisdom!
Great interview, Dr. C....delicate questions....and so wonderful to see Dr. M gently respond....love this!!!
In the USA 🇺🇸 we do not have paid sick/ medical leave for all workers . It depends on what kind of job you have/ this conversation is absolutely eye opening
Warmth, comfort, compassion and respect seems to be a lot to ask for.
This 🙌🏾 “the seizing of responsibility - when I understand what happened, now it’s my responsibility and liberty to find a healing.” Incredible wisdom completely wrapped in love. 🌿🌿🌿
Thank you for having on this beautiful human being. Have followed Dr Mate for years
This made me cry so much. Did not realize how it’s passed on from generations, made me feel it was not my fault and did not start with me…..
Only the way you choose to react matters 😢
i'm so amazed at the discussion regarding Prince Harry. Thank you for bringing that conversation up. I hope people will start changing their opinion about him. Patricia Sydney Australia 🙂
This is a brilliant and ESSENTIAL conversation. Thank you! May we please have more of this to facilitate healing for our societies and our world? Much, much gratitude!
Every time I listen to Gabor, I learn more and understand more of my family’s dynamics.
Thank you .i saw the horrid presson both on dr mate and harry ...and it makes my blood boil. I can feel harrys pain.[ My family is /was the same...without the money.] I applaud Harry and megan , i really do. And 2 u also dr mate. Many thanks. Kudos to u dr chatrrjee for recognizing this brilliant man's work...[and yours.] Truly , much appreciation. This work takes COURAGE!
Really great conversation. After reaching a ‘healed’ place after 15 years of constant work and focus. I know better than many how these conversations are essential to make ‘healing wounds’ a real thing.
I am so impressed on how you both interact with such compassion and healing messages I found it quite healing thank so much from USA RHODE ISLAND
Whilst understanding all this helps me to know there's nothing wrong with me, in a way, knowing the bigger picture as I suspected it to be instinctively I guess leaves me both feeling empowered and powerless at the same time. It was far easier believing the problems were mine alone in that I felt I had control over how my life progressed, but the insanity of the rest of society and how this has and is currently and horrendously playing out in my life triggering so much trauma that I'm fearful for my life, knowing my limitations in how I can deal with this scares the shit out of me. I find it all exceedingly depressing and want more than ever to get as far as possible from it all but I'm not in any position to leave that won't put my health is further danger. My hands are being tied and breaking free is one hell of a battle, and that's with intelligence and confidence to change my own situation where other people in similar situations as me where I live don't even begin to address as they feel far too anxious and witnessing what I'm going through when I do address this adds to their fears. People I am dealing with have no understanding about trauma and the impact their actions are having on vulnerable people, these are professionals in the public sector who are providers of housing, social and psychological care. The harm they are causing is worth writing a book about, and if I survive this I aim to do just that! The lessons I have learned from Gabor have given me so much confidence. Thank you both for raising awareness about all the crazy madness in this world!
Spectacular interview…
I was trepidatious re Dr Mate and Prince Harry’s interview….
However after listening to Dr Mate’s perspectives … I all the more respect and appreciate his voice , his tireless work and insights on the human condition.
Thank you 🙏🏾
The royal family is very dysfunctional and i feel so sorry for Harry.
It’s crazy, isn’t it, that it takes actual COURAGE for dr Chatterjee to confirm and validate the humanity of prince Harry, when a certain mob sentiment has decided anyone not joining in the venom must be taken down.
Thanks Rangan and Gabor.
I’m glad Gabor and Rangan choose humanity and honesty over
To be fair, Prince William had an even harder time. He was the child who gave Diana tissues while she sobbed, and spoke to her soothingly when she locked herself in the bathroom. Add to that the huge pressures of being The Heir.
I'm well aware that siblings experience the same events in family life very differently.
Harry, as the younger, was given more protection.
Let's be clear: I'm not on the Hate Harry and Meghan bandwagon.
@@SuzanneU There is no doubt they are both traumatised by events from childhood, at the very least. They express it differently due to personality, how each one was treated etc. That does not make Harry less brave especially as he is vilified for choosing to confront a dysfunctional system.
I wonder to what extent William has to repress his emotions.
What we cannot ignore, is that this venom towards Harry did not exist, before he married a black woman. The critics and media clearly can not be so nasty towards Megan simply because of her skin color, so they had to find something else to ‘hate’ her for. In walks the ‘narcissist’ label, because…no one likes a narcissist. And because Harry married this (supposed) narcissist…he, too…must now be hated. I can’t help but wonder, had he married a white, British woman…would he STILL have been so viscously attacked when he finally decided to cut his ties with this toxic (albeit ‘Royal’) family?? I can’t help but feel, that he would have been much more supported for his choice to exit (to his mental health) his toxic family, had his partner not been South African. But, we will never know, because he did not marry a white, British woman. Breaking generational toxic patterns takes so much courage, and almost always leads to the ‘pattern breaker’ as being seen as a troublemaker. But not normally on a viscous ‘world scale’ attack. Insulting the Monarchy, by simply escaping, and being honest about their toxic generational habits…should cause applause…not this level of vitriol.
@@cheryldee95 I could not agree more. He is the scapegoat in his family. The media helped rope in a section of the population who need someone to project all their own darkness unto. I hear people willing them to split up each day like playground bullies jeering at the picked on kid in front of a bully saying "fight, fight!!!".
I hope they make it as a couple; there is only so much hatred people can withstand before buckling. We live in a toxic world.
No, I think it‘s more that Harry parades his family‘s dirty laundry for money, as well as exploiting his mother‘s death for cash. Harry may be traumatized, but he seems to celebrate it for a living. Not sympathetic at all.
In 1994, my second child, a son, was born in a hospital just outside of Boston. It was a planned C-section - his older sister had been born by emergency c-section 3 years earlier - because ultrasounds had failed to detect that she would weigh 10 lbs at birth - and I am very petite. Her head at birth was bigger than any original anatomical opening available. Despite my second pregnancy being designated as high-risk, no ultrasound could have prepared us for a baby born with several related neurological defects on the spina bifida continuum. A trauma team from Children's Hospital in Boston arrived within half an hour of delivery to take my new baby son for the emergency surgery needed to save his life. Or the 10 days following when he stayed in the NICU, undergoing a battery of tests designed to reveal whether he'd live, and if so, what his quality of life would be. We were fortunate to have access not only to Children's, but to the Chief of Surgery at that time, whose work in separating Siamese Twins was well-known. The family rallied around this little baby, who, born two weeks early at 8 lbs, nevertheless has lost 3 pounds or more by the time I was discharged from the suburban obstetrics unit - 7 days later. I pumped breast-milk while I shook, sobbing, every minute of the day and night for those 7 days. When I was released, I spent every minute I could with my son, in the NICU - but I was not allowed to spend the night. When he was discharged with a tiny colostomy bag, visiting nurses were assigned for a couple of days a week - to make sure I was feeding him properly and managing the colostomy bag. At no point was I offered any counseling; I survived the separation with only the support of daily communion from the Catholic chaplain. My son is 29, married, and applying to elite business schools as I write. My daughter has just begun her residency in Pediatrics at the same hospital that saved her brother's life. My marriage didn't survive. And in 2000, when I left my ex-husband, I was placed on SSDI for severe bipolar disorder, and my legal career, once so bright, came to a permanent end. My son was 5. I had researched everything I could about how to ensure my children's well-being, and the consensus in the mid-'90s was that the first 5 years were crucial to a child developing a healthy sense of self. My children have a healthy sense of self. I do not.
Very insightful conversation. Hoping this gets in the press. This is the important stuff the press should ALSO be mentioning. But is it convenient for them? I hope they start doing it, because this will help people.
How do we live in a toxic culture and not be harmed by it? It's so damn hard!!!!
Yes, Gabor, as a yoga teacher, I always make sure my students understand that it isn't therapy or practice - it is a class. You were interviewing Harry and you were on a show, not performing therapy.
Important and accurate note. It was a public show.
To begin healing I think first we need to acknowledge there’s a problem or admit to ourselves that we didn’t know better. Now that I know better then apologies to the people you hurt specifically our children so that they don’t think something is or was wrong with them. Own my mistakes, unburden my children, seek help and choose to be emotionally available for myself first then those that I love.
Awesome interview! Appreciate the honesty of personal stories! It makes me think of my childhood and how it affected me in my life choices and raising my son. Thank you! Your podcasts are changing lives!
Exceptional interview. Thank you so much to both of you.
Thank you for listening 🙏🏾
Totally agree. Ive been waitiing for this conversation amongst all the negative press surrounding Harry. I cant think of a better therapist than Gabor Mate to lead this discussion and a better platform than your channel Dr Chatterjee. Harry is a cycle breaker. And his efforts are even more impressive considering the system he is working against. Respect.
To be self aware and authentic IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. I’ve experienced this firsthand.
Dr Maté is unbelievably good at what he does, he is a genius.
Many of his peers would have like to have an interview with Royalty.
Dr Maté just ignore the press, when you are that good, there is bound to be opposition.
Some years ago I stopped watching the television. I started to focus more on time to myself and having my own project each year with a personal hobby. I changed my workflow so I worked 6 days a week for 3 weeks and then my partner and I take a Friday to Monday long weekend and get away for a 4 day break together. We really look forward to each break and enjoy our time together. We both agree that love is not possible all the time, but is actually something we make time for and quality is better than quantity. In areas of life where other peoples anger and frustration interact with me, I let it go. I let people overtake me and I don’t tolerate rude behaviour from customers in my business. It’s not that I don’t think “idiot!” It’s just that I don’t mirror other people’s bad behaviour. One very important thing we’ve both done is improved our diet by eating less but with more fresh vegetables and no processed foods. I just wanted to share this information. My grandmother had a very hard and financially poor and stressful life. She always had time for us and never gave in to anxiety or depression. Many of things we’ve done are an attempt to recreate her lifestyle in a bid to improve out health overall. It’s worked 💯
“Unless you’ve walked in my shoes don’t tell me how to tie my laces.”
Dr. Anthony Youn
Thank you Gabor, we see you and the wonderful Prince Harry. Keep going ...............An Irish Admirer
Ive been a social worker and now psychotherapists in the Uk..... this is such an important sunject with such truth and awareness of what is needed for the workd and balanced human groth. .....how can we get our givernents to hear and understand this vital reasearch.....who and where are people gatgering to explain and promte this at governents in an international way.....still so much ignorance about these basic but life changing needs....😮
Just love watching & listening you both good men 🙏🏽❤️
Beautiful podcast Rangan, yourself and Gabor are legends! 🙌
It's one of the fantastic talks I have ever heard with Dr. Gabor. Thank you so much for your brave questions and for responding.
My name is Sharona Duchne, I m the founder of Adoption Wisdom in Israel. I will be delighted to be a guest in your talk.
Thank you
What a beautiful conversation and a beautiful friendship to witness.