I cried while watching this video. It's as if a big truck hit me and made me realize that I'm a real coward - that the fear of failing keeps me from writing my thesis and there's no one to blame but myself. I've stopped writing my thesis proposal for a month now and completely thought of quitting. I thought maybe this is not for me or maybe I am not good enough for this - but this video made me realize, I've made it through. This is the final stage. Yes, I've made so much bad decisions but I should not let that define me and instead, I need to start making better choices. I will try my best to finish this paper. Whether I pass or I fail, I think what's more important is that I fight through the end and develop the skill of not of not giving up easily when things are difficult. I will watch this every morning until I finish my thesis proposal. Thank you very much, Tara.
This was great, but to anyone reading who feels they have made a 'bad decision' in trusting someone, or not having all the information, or being mistreated - please don't blame yourself. As much as I agree with this video that attitude is everything, and we need to take ownership in our choices: sometimes things happen that never should have, that we didn't ask for, and that stop our lives in its tracks. And that's also okay. Taking time to count stock, and reevaluate - is okay. Sometimes feeling you were the one who made the bad decision is unfair to yourself. Tara gives really personal examples in the video - and while I love how she took back the power and ownership in her life from these example. I love that she is passionate about not labelling herself a victim. But calling it a bad decision makes it sound like it was her fault for putting herself in that situation: and I don't think it is. It's not her fault, and if you have experienced something similar were you have trusted someone that didn't deserve it; where you made (what you felt) was a good decisions at the time (because you didn't have all the info); or were plainly mistreated: it's not your fault, and it shouldn't have happened to you. You don't have to let other people's bad decisions define you, but you don't have to take responsibility for their actions either.
You've written something so polite to disagree with someone. It's a rare sight sometimes in the comments section. I sincerely commend you for that (: However, I feel you might have overinterpreted some of her words. When she gives her own example, I feel like she is not saying this to stop her from victimising herself but to rather truly take responsibility for what she could have done under such and such circumstances instead of focussing on all the things that were, unfortunately, not under her control at that point of time. When we look at things we CAN be responsible for, we become less of a victim. This is but a by-product of trying to look at what we CAN do to have better control of the situation and not what we cannot, in no way downplaying that there are also things that are evidently not under our control and that we are not to blame for. Hope this helps (:
Thank YOU so much. I have a new-found courage that I lost in the midst of this PhD journey. I didn't blame anyone but myself. If anything, I am grateful for the people around me.
I had to stop myself smiling when I heard them, Rosalie. It was fabulous - 6:05 in the morning. I had 20 minutes to record the vlog from the start of the sunrise to the point where the camera couldn't manage the light - I took 17 minutes ;) But the birds were glorious. I just hoped the zoom microphone would pick them up - they did :). Thanks for being you - so great to see you last week. Txxx
Awesome Dean, such carefree and motivating talk. Thank you so much. I was stuck and am still stuck and your video is so timely. Such a joy to listen to your down to earth speech! Thank you Dean!
Thank you Tara! I really needed to hear this. I was quite stuck in my PhD and blamed circumstances, poor supervision and bad research design. My Phd did not move forward for almost 2 years and I knew something had to change. It was me! I've been listening to your vlogs and other material for some time and I have completely taken charge and changed my attitude. What's more radical is how my motivation and productivity have increased. I am a few months away from submitting my thesis!
I have had to write my thesis for and with a company. In the beginning they made it hard/impossible for me to focus on my thesis. And according to my contract i was only there to write my thesis. In this case i do believe that i can blame the company as they did not respect my contract and caused me to have a delay. But they also taught me to not give a flying f*ck what your employer thinks about you. Now i come into the office to work on my thesis and if anyone bothers me i take a deep breath and ignore it. BUT i will not sit infront of the mirror and say this is my fault, i do not accept responsiibility for my delay. However, I am willing to put the time in to make up for it and hand in my thesis in the coming weeks. Thank you for your video!
The statement from the first couple minutes made me feel unsettled. It made me self aware. However, thanks to this video I'm building the courage to give my thesis a second chance. See you in a couple months.
Thanks Tara for your candour and insights, I have become a fan of your vlog series which I only discovered this week while in the (hopefully) last few months of my doctorate. I have found them very helpful. Just a suggestion for a future vlog - 'the last 3 months and getting across the finish line for thesis submission' - for both full and part time students. Many thanks from a dublin doctorate candidate.
Katie HELLLOOO. Dublin is one of my favourite cities on this planet and I've had the privilege of doing some speeches there. Damn fine university system as well :) And congratulations on your achievement. You are nearly there. And Katie - that is a great suggestion. Five of my students are in the final few weeks (days??!!!!) now. And it is an incredible strain. So that is a fine suggestion. I'll do that one for you!!! :) Take care - keep in touch - and thank you for your beautiful comment... Txxx
Thank you so much for that Tara, I feel like it is only an achievement if I finish - and on time! That would be great and so helpful. I am sure your students will do great .I will be sure to attend one of your talks next time you are Dublin.
It really helped follow the steps with your Tara, I have been stuck for weeks and I feel empowered now. I agree about focusing on making better choices in the future rather than on the bad choices of the past you can't change.
Very useful! Will re-plan as you said and push hard focusing on my thesis alone. Two or three months of intense writing would be enough, I hope. Agree, the longer it becomes we die. Frankly, I am dead in every way and have become a monster. 😂 During writing up we are already bombarded with information and for me if I spend more time on on UA-cam I felt mentally exhausted . Having no me time to write, this covid and it’s backfire on every aspects of life including my funding took my routine away.As you said taking the responsibility of our mistakes rather than blaming others or our circumstances is the best way forward. I have to do intense writing and somehow submit before X mas.
Thank you for your comment, Rehana. My goal is to ensure you finish that thesis. If student continually blame other people - they will never finish. If they claim responsibility for their own progress and completion - then they have a fighting chance! Every best wish to you. Txxx
But how do you take responsibility when other people clearly have failed in their duty of care towards you and where you already have a self-critical mindset? How do you not turn that taking of responsibility into further self-blame but into the ability to make empowered and better choices for the future?
Thank you. You hit the nail on the head - I am wallowing and not actually working on the degree. I just moved away from the university to start a job, and complete the degree in the hours after work. I'm finding it easier and easier not to do anything with the dissertation, with maybe a year left - I've considered quitting. Your video was motivating.
i am stuck with the last chapter before conclusion because the matter has evolved during my journey of writing my thesis.. therefore, i need to modify it, but that is tricky.
Absolutely fantastic vlog. Very helpful in getting me back on track. And some really challenging statements there that have me reflecting strongly on my conduct and motivations along my PhD journey.
Thank you so much. for this vlog. It really hits home. I have been doing a part-time PHD for 5 years now, and will enroll for another year. This last few months have been totally different as I am finnally reconnected with my thesis. I know I will arise from phd hell and will succeed! Your vlogs will help me through the slumps, I am sure of it. Thank you!
Thank you Tara, this video has lifted me and helped with getting the ol' work train moving again when completion had seemed to dip back over the horizon.
Liked this Tara thank you-am pre PhD at present and in a PGDip (3rd) that, thanks to you and my lecturers. has suddenly opened my tired mind to find a cause and purpose to achieve my new goal and to gear up my cognitive skills to support itI Am using the talk from the 'springs to strategize with more focus. You are a diamond of the first water! Cathy Jones
I cried while watching this video. It's as if a big truck hit me and made me realize that I'm a real coward - that the fear of failing keeps me from writing my thesis and there's no one to blame but myself. I've stopped writing my thesis proposal for a month now and completely thought of quitting. I thought maybe this is not for me or maybe I am not good enough for this - but this video made me realize, I've made it through. This is the final stage. Yes, I've made so much bad decisions but I should not let that define me and instead, I need to start making better choices. I will try my best to finish this paper. Whether I pass or I fail, I think what's more important is that I fight through the end and develop the skill of not of not giving up easily when things are difficult.
I will watch this every morning until I finish my thesis proposal. Thank you very much, Tara.
This was great, but to anyone reading who feels they have made a 'bad decision' in trusting someone, or not having all the information, or being mistreated - please don't blame yourself. As much as I agree with this video that attitude is everything, and we need to take ownership in our choices: sometimes things happen that never should have, that we didn't ask for, and that stop our lives in its tracks. And that's also okay. Taking time to count stock, and reevaluate - is okay.
Sometimes feeling you were the one who made the bad decision is unfair to yourself. Tara gives really personal examples in the video - and while I love how she took back the power and ownership in her life from these example. I love that she is passionate about not labelling herself a victim. But calling it a bad decision makes it sound like it was her fault for putting herself in that situation: and I don't think it is.
It's not her fault, and if you have experienced something similar were you have trusted someone that didn't deserve it; where you made (what you felt) was a good decisions at the time (because you didn't have all the info); or were plainly mistreated: it's not your fault, and it shouldn't have happened to you. You don't have to let other people's bad decisions define you, but you don't have to take responsibility for their actions either.
You've written something so polite to disagree with someone. It's a rare sight sometimes in the comments section. I sincerely commend you for that (: However, I feel you might have overinterpreted some of her words. When she gives her own example, I feel like she is not saying this to stop her from victimising herself but to rather truly take responsibility for what she could have done under such and such circumstances instead of focussing on all the things that were, unfortunately, not under her control at that point of time. When we look at things we CAN be responsible for, we become less of a victim. This is but a by-product of trying to look at what we CAN do to have better control of the situation and not what we cannot, in no way downplaying that there are also things that are evidently not under our control and that we are not to blame for. Hope this helps (:
Thank YOU so much. I have a new-found courage that I lost in the midst of this PhD journey. I didn't blame anyone but myself. If anything, I am grateful for the people around me.
Listen to the beautiful butcher bird singing in the background!
No no - I really am paying attention to what you're saying Tara!
I had to stop myself smiling when I heard them, Rosalie. It was fabulous - 6:05 in the morning. I had 20 minutes to record the vlog from the start of the sunrise to the point where the camera couldn't manage the light - I took 17 minutes ;) But the birds were glorious. I just hoped the zoom microphone would pick them up - they did :). Thanks for being you - so great to see you last week. Txxx
Awesome Dean, such carefree and motivating talk.
Thank you so much. I was stuck and am still stuck and your video is so timely.
Such a joy to listen to your down to earth speech!
Thank you Dean!
Today I failed my experiment again... 😥 but one day I will be one of the best nanoscientist
Thank you Tara! I really needed to hear this. I was quite stuck in my PhD and blamed circumstances, poor supervision and bad research design. My Phd did not move forward for almost 2 years and I knew something had to change. It was me! I've been listening to your vlogs and other material for some time and I have completely taken charge and changed my attitude. What's more radical is how my motivation and productivity have increased. I am a few months away from submitting my thesis!
I have had to write my thesis for and with a company. In the beginning they made it hard/impossible for me to focus on my thesis. And according to my contract i was only there to write my thesis. In this case i do believe that i can blame the company as they did not respect my contract and caused me to have a delay. But they also taught me to not give a flying f*ck what your employer thinks about you. Now i come into the office to work on my thesis and if anyone bothers me i take a deep breath and ignore it. BUT i will not sit infront of the mirror and say this is my fault, i do not accept responsiibility for my delay. However, I am willing to put the time in to make up for it and hand in my thesis in the coming weeks. Thank you for your video!
The statement from the first couple minutes made me feel unsettled. It made me self aware. However, thanks to this video I'm building the courage to give my thesis a second chance. See you in a couple months.
Thanks Tara for your candour and insights,
I have become a fan of your vlog series which I only discovered this week while in the (hopefully) last few months of my doctorate. I have found them very helpful. Just a suggestion for a future vlog - 'the last 3 months and getting across the finish line for thesis submission' - for both full and part time students. Many thanks from a dublin doctorate candidate.
Katie HELLLOOO. Dublin is one of my favourite cities on this planet and I've had the privilege of doing some speeches there. Damn fine university system as well :) And congratulations on your achievement. You are nearly there. And Katie - that is a great suggestion. Five of my students are in the final few weeks (days??!!!!) now. And it is an incredible strain. So that is a fine suggestion. I'll do that one for you!!! :) Take care - keep in touch - and thank you for your beautiful comment... Txxx
Thank you so much for that Tara, I feel like it is only an achievement if I finish - and on time! That would be great and so helpful. I am sure your students will do great .I will be sure to attend one of your talks next time you are Dublin.
And Katie - let us know when you submit! Everything crossed :) Txxx
It really helped follow the steps with your Tara, I have been stuck for weeks and I feel empowered now. I agree about focusing on making better choices in the future rather than on the bad choices of the past you can't change.
Very useful! Will re-plan as you said and push hard focusing on my thesis alone. Two or three months of intense writing would be enough, I hope. Agree, the longer it becomes we die. Frankly, I am dead in every way and have become a monster. 😂
During writing up we are already bombarded with information and for me if I spend more time on on UA-cam I felt mentally exhausted .
Having no me time to write, this covid and it’s backfire on every aspects of life including my funding took my routine away.As you said taking the responsibility of our mistakes rather than blaming others or our circumstances is the best way forward. I have to do intense writing and somehow submit before X mas.
This made my day! Thanks a lot for the energy and insight! "I am the sum of my choices" :) God bless...
Really hits home! Thank you for your brutal honesty.
Thank you for your comment, Rehana. My goal is to ensure you finish that thesis. If student continually blame other people - they will never finish. If they claim responsibility for their own progress and completion - then they have a fighting chance! Every best wish to you. Txxx
Hi Tara, I just stumbled across your vlog and this is just what I needed to hear at this very moment! This is so inspiring!
The longer your candidature...
Thank you so much, Professor Tara, you are the lighthouse!
Excellent advice! You are one in a million!
this was amazing, thanks!
But how do you take responsibility when other people clearly have failed in their duty of care towards you and where you already have a self-critical mindset? How do you not turn that taking of responsibility into further self-blame but into the ability to make empowered and better choices for the future?
Seek shall you get. I am glad I came across your channel. Thank you for these videos, immensely informative. Thank you again!!
Thank you. You hit the nail on the head - I am wallowing and not actually working on the degree. I just moved away from the university to start a job, and complete the degree in the hours after work. I'm finding it easier and easier not to do anything with the dissertation, with maybe a year left - I've considered quitting. Your video was motivating.
i am stuck with the last chapter before conclusion because the matter has evolved during my journey of writing my thesis.. therefore, i need to modify it, but that is tricky.
Finishing one task is already hard... My motivation to stay longer at school is greater than the motivation to finish it...
Absolutely fantastic vlog. Very helpful in getting me back on track. And some really challenging statements there that have me reflecting strongly on my conduct and motivations along my PhD journey.
Thank you so much. for this vlog. It really hits home. I have been doing a part-time PHD for 5 years now, and will enroll for another year. This last few months have been totally different as I am finnally reconnected with my thesis. I know I will arise from phd hell and will succeed! Your vlogs will help me through the slumps, I am sure of it. Thank you!
Thank you Tara! You have helped me in a way that my supervisor wasn’t able to. I have realized my shortcomings and am feeling confident going forward.
Thank you Tara! You have helped me in a way that my supervisor wasn’t able to. I have realized my shortcomings and am feeling confident going forward.
Thank you Tara, this video has lifted me and helped with getting the ol' work train moving again when completion had seemed to dip back over the horizon.
Luv u! 💗
Thank you very much, Professor Tara. I watch you every day to get the motivation I need.
I am entering my fourth year which will be my final year in the UK. Thank you for your tips
This video is great!!!! Thanks!!! I needed so much so much this
Getting unstuck and reconnection, exactly what I need :(
Australian Ring neck parrots!
I knew you'd know, Rosalie!!! Beautiful :) Txxx
Amazing! Thank you for this :)
Thanks for the valuable tips!! Glad to find this Channel!
Listening to this anno 2021: jup a lot can happen in a short time 😅
Thanks for this Tara I really needed it. Thank you
Yes yes yes! Im pumped up to finish my master's thesis!
Thank you very much 💐💐💐💐
Brilliant xxx
Morning Sana - thanks so much. I hope this vlog is of use to people in that really complex, difficult space. Txxx
Liked this Tara thank you-am pre PhD at present and in a PGDip (3rd) that, thanks to you and my lecturers. has suddenly opened my tired mind to find a cause and purpose to achieve my new goal and to gear up my cognitive skills to support itI Am using the talk from the 'springs to strategize with more focus. You are a diamond of the first water! Cathy Jones