How trauma in your marriage can affect your sex life | Fridays with Tab and Chance
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- Опубліковано 29 вер 2024
- Put those kids to bed 'cause it's going to get real in here. We've talked in the past about gender roles, lingerie, all these things and it lead us to a conversation about Sex... Who should be initiating? How can rejection affect your marriage? Lets get into it!
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My Husband and I have been married for 51 years and we have definitely been through those times like You and Chance concerning our sex life. Early in our marriage we we like little bunny rabbits and later we had our ups and downs, having babies and more responsibilities sex wasn't our priority anymore. Now all of our are grown and married and have children of their own. We are enjoying each other all over again. Our communications together is very important. We hold hands, walk together, hug, kiss and it feel like we are courting all over again! He calls me his girlfriend and I call him my boyfriend, lol😂😂❤
This was si cute to read love it.
Congratulations on reaching over the half way point. Wishing you both many more prosperous years to ahead. 🌹
Admirable
That is soo beautiful. ❤
Aawww! I love this! It’s beautiful on the other side 🥰
The friendship that they share is what allows for these uncomfortable conversations..they truly seem to not just love each other out of obligation, but like one another genuinely. The laughter that they collectively share is also so healthy...they're laughing with each other not at each other! Love this dynamic ❤️😊
Me too
Me too
My Husband and myself will be celebrating 31 years of marriage on 6/26 and this segment of Tab & Chance is sooooo spot on for me! ✨💜✨ I love this Truth which is soooo very similar to our marital journey. I love the honesty because I too am very honest about our marriage and it’s growth. Our marriage grew up along with our growing. I got married at 19 and my husband was 24 and we literally grew up together in the good, the bad, the ugly and indifferent. But the growing has grown us to this peace and this equilibrium. Y’all, this is honesty of what many marriages look like and to get to this space is beautiful indeed! Thank you Tab & Chance for keeping it real! Love you both! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
Happy anniversary……..🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 my husband and I celebrated 33 years on 6/16…I struggle with when the atmosphere is foul now you want intimacy from .. It is very difficult for me to get past the emotional abuse and then switch to intimacy .. Can I get some advice from the seasoned folks …..
6/2 11 yrs..Now that makes sense. Women foreplay starts in our mind and works it's way 👇. Actually learned this is premarital counseling. We're all diff Soo maybe tell him how he can change the energy. What's your thing??? Like for me it's music. If he can't get me dancing or singing it changes me instantly. MAYBE acts of kindness.. what's your thang?
Also did y'all talk about the problem and come to an understanding? Once again if our minds are cluttered..YOU KNOW it's NOT happening.
Does he know your love language & you too?
@@BlaydeAlabama for real if the mind is off its not going to happen. Im praying that God will give us wisdom and create a different mindset. Its a rough season though.. but we still say I DO.. inspite of it all …I love candles and music and he cool with it…thank you for commenting sister…
Happy Anniversary!
When a couple is content with one another they can be this vulnerable...
Beautiful
I’m am crying. Chance say, aight NIE you gone have these old ladies in my DM again. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Great video once again. This will help a lot of households.
lol I was weak
This just helped me to release some offense from my ex husband. Thanks Tab and Chance .💯🙏🏼
You guys are a blessing. Your vulnerability will be a breakthrough for others.
This hit home in a lot of areas of my marriage. I’ve learned ALOT and hope to have this conversation with my husband. Got me in tears. 😭😭. Thank you Tab and Chance for being transparent. Love you both ❤
I like how you both admitted to some very rocky past years together. It speaks a lot to resilience, commitment, and sometimes sacrifice all playing a crucial role in a successful marriage. I’m glad you arrived at a place of continual love and happiness. 🥂🎊🍀 And ya’ll are hilarious, btw.😁
I always let my husband make the first move, until he stopped,and acted like I didn’t exist anymore , so now things have turned around, so now I dress up , make up, and make 1st 2nd and third move. Trust me it works 🎉
I love how the two of you lean into each other. Like a human mountain. The body language is so powerful. Thank you both for sharing ❤️
“Stop thinking about what you can get! Focus on what you have and what you want to keep” Come on Chance!! Boy, you better say that again🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
Intimacy requires talk, time and togetherness. Too often we try to get to it without these three components. The conversation that the two of you had will clearly hence your intimacy and take it to a different level. It was awesome watching the two of you being vulnerable.
It’s the smiles for me!!!! Joyful moments
Chance, those last couple minutes when you admonished the man and the woman in the relationship, was most powerful, and I pray that both sides listen and heed those words!
This episode was soooooooo good. Thanks Tab & Chance for your transparency because it definitely helps other couples have perspectives on this topic that they previously hadn’t considered. Your love for each other is evident and inspiring to others. Keep up the great work And keep the lines of communication open on being sensitive to your partners feelings as you’ve said, bc it’s workin! ❤❤❤
Yes it was absolutely amazing 🎉
topic idea: I would love to know what attracted yall to each other back then vs what you appreciate about each other now? Love the videos btw!
I hear Tabatha when it came to first beginning couple. My husband wanted it everyday all day. Fifteen years after marriage we had twins and it wasn’t happening as often. The babies were born 13 weeks early and I was very tired taking care of them. Now at 35 yrs he still wants it regular and with my age I be tired. Y’all hit a lot of me and my husbands issues and conversations. Love this topic.
What would your husbands alternative be? that would benefit both of you?
Thank y’all this was great. and definitely good wisdom. I passed it along to my adult children.Tab and Chance continue doing this you have blessed content❤️
These 2 are guaranteed to bring wisdom, love, respect, and humor to the table
" I don't want none of them nasty pictures" 🤣🤣
Whew! This was a much needed conversation. Great marriage/relationship guidance and advice with a lot of hilarious moments sprinkled in. I love how encouraging Tab and Chance are to marriages. They really teach excellent communication skills for strong marriages❤ Respect 🙏🏿
You two are hilarious but real helpful.
This is so power and transparent! Thank you Lord...Teach pastors how to speak about this! no one teaches this! This is so true! My husband and I lived through this! Now we are older in 54 and 62 Trust me... sex is not what going to hold you together! Thank God we love eachother!
Great conversation. I personally wasn’t mature enough in my marriage to have those types of conversations and do the work. I’m happily divorced, no hard feelings but seeing y’all friendship gives hope in my big age.
CHANCE 👏👏👏👏 I'm sharing this to my spouse!!! Thank you Tab and Chance!
I love you all. Y’all helping somebody…Me and my husband of 22years of marriage. Physical trauma really does play a part. Tabitha I’m you these days.however, my husband is 52 and I’m 49 and he is physically going through some things. This is why substance in a marriage is so important
I just love this couple so refreshing and they laugh while also being informative for other couples
Much needed conversation. Thank you guys❤
I can understand chance side. My husband rejected me for almost a year. I’m pretty sure he was going through some depression that was hard to get out of, but the most painful feeling is laying beside your parter in bed, only desiring them, and they turn their back. Now my husband wants me and I have no desire for him because I’ve learned to shut those feelings down. It’s like putting out a fire and trying to relight it. So I def get it what chance went through, it’s not that he rejected tab she just had to go through a season of feeling what her husband went through. It’s refreshing to see they’ve learned and grew through it .
That's right Chance in his closing statements.
Great episode. Uncomfortable topic normalized💜
love this episode! This was powerful. Thank you for sharing your life, your growth...amazing...this was absolutely yummy!
Deep talk always good convos
We LOVE each OTHER who cares LETS DO IT 😊😅❤ BUT NOT WHEN I AM FALLING ASLEEP 💤 Sand man comes first.🤪🤪🤪
I'm cracking up at y'all 😂 this was a good conversation
Baby this is a WHOLE topic!!
OMG THESE TWO RIGHT HERE!!!
Dealing with Mental illness from My husband and I who has Schizophrenia, Initiating sex is very delicate, it is unspoken and body language. If I verbally say I need sex it will get rejected. If I just give a deep hug it's on and popping.❤
Boy yall had me CRACKING up at the end. 😂
Auntie Tab, Chance is right don’t tell us EVERYTHANG😂🤣🤣
We got it - y’all was on and poppin…
You really have to like and respect and and love your partner to be willing to listen to their point of view without the disrespect
Yes everybody need to
Move in a space of love
So beautiful to hear for single people too,
😂😂😂😂😂😂! Y'all got me looking crazy in the coin Laundry!
Great conversation!! 🔥♥️
Thanks for sharing. After listening ro you for a while ...the problem was conversation.
Thinking about this, the Bible in the new testament talks about if 1 partner needs rest from sex for a time period. The understanding needed. But you guys found it.
Thanks
The Five Love Languages…Gary Chapman…Highly Recommend…❤
This topic would be great also the other way around. Men who reject women.
It all worked out for your good and God’s Glory❤
Tab, Lord have mercy...lady you something else 🤣😂🤣
This whole conversation!!!❤❤❤❤
I feel u girl. Tab I'm a Pisces to
GET.GOT.KEEP.❤
Thank You !
I love Tab 🤣🤣🤣 I be the same way when I'm talking about sex topics. My husband is like Chance, he be like "Okay babe🙄🥴" 🤣🤣🤣 I be like "What?? sex with my husband is GOD ORDAINED which means it is VERY GOOD 🤣🤣🤣 I have no shame!! 🤣
You crazy kids are so cute! Good & fun conversation to share.
I love Tab and Chance 😊❤
🫶🏽 This was so good guys! I understand having PLANS to go somewhere & either not making it, arriving late, being M.I.A. during the event 😉, AND leaving early. ✌🏽😄 Marriage is a beautiful thing... 😌💞
“Don’t think about what you can get! Think about what you’ve got and how you want to keep it!” That was a powerful statement!
Yessss!!!
Amen
I love that Chance emphasized the importance of listening to a man when he's being vulnerable. Ladies, that is so important to let him open his heart so he can feel comfortable sharing. Like Chance said, if you shut down a man's vulnerability, that is damage that you will likely never recover from. A man may never open up again - and then we wonder why more men aren't emotionally available or emotionally intelligent. Take care of your partner's heart. ❤
Looooooove the realness
Preach Preach!!! 🗣👏🏿
That part hit home! It’s sooooo important to let your man feel safe to show his sensitive side.
Amen
Absolutely 💯 correct men has feelings that goes deeper then the surface and for some it's hard to open up and talk about it they have to be able to trust you to listen and trust you ❤
Love the fact that Chance is able to voice things from a man’s perspective. Feeling seen.
Me too
tell us more lol love watching them together
😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
Awww happy for you sis
It feels like you can substitute “initiating sex” for basically any need that your partner has. it’s so difficult to navigate meeting each others needs within your relationship and I appreciate hearing how y’all unpacked your feelings and egos to work through it
THESE are real conversations and so very necessary. My husband and I both sat here saying "Have they been in our house???" #22yrsAndHolding You two are helping men, women, relationships, and marriages. You two are a Blessing to the Kingdom Team Brown!!!🧡🙏🏾🙏🏻
They are talking like grown married people who have learned and are learning.❤
Facts
Kudos to y'all for recognizing the issue and working to improve. Many couples have turned to porn-addiction, side relationships, etc and consequently grew further apart until the great separation was inevitable.
This is so true...
My husband and I are 33/34 and have been married 12 years. We literally just had this convo and I prayed and asked God what did I say wrong cause he got so defensive!!! And I got on UA-cam and this popped up!!! God is so good and this has been so relevant!!! Thank y’all for your transparency and obedience to God!!!!! This is so good!!!!
🙏 for y'all
You guys are saving marriages with this video. May God bless yours abundantly. To hear Tab our bubbly positive american mom talk about going through sickness and not wanting it is so real, and healing to my soul. You 2 encourage people to not give up and that marriage has valleys and mountains but don't give up in the valleys. Omg you 2 are good. Where is the offering bucket?
These are the convos that our generation did not have. My marriage did not make it because of not knowing ourselves, what traumas we still had from childhood, not knowing how to talk about anything without it feeling like an attack or having the vocabulary to do so, etc…. I’m hopeful for the next generation and for my future relationship.
Same! If there is a next time, I’m ready.
Absolutely. Mines didn't make it for lack of communication. I'm hopeful for my future relationship.
@paulabrown
I agree with you 💯. ❤🎉
@@ibiminaabiye257
AMEN. Same reason why mine didn't make it.😢❤
I'm so glad you're talkin about having the hard conversations. It can really save a lot of marriages.❤❤
I love how Chance always says "we done helped these people enough!" hahaha
Honey he has to....Auntie Tab will tell it all! LOL
This such a healthy and honest conversation
Many couples divorce because of lack of understanding of each other. We have to be mindful of each other's life load and move accordingly with grace, kindness, compromise and gentleness for a solution that benefits both.
👑❤️👑
That was good ..mindful of each others life load…
You talking right! Well said and I totally concur
Well said! 😊
Tell it all
Me either. I was young and did not wait
What an amazing and authentic conversation. Y’all out here saving relationships. You two are a gift
It’s something about when us women hit our 40’s! They getting a whole new woman out of us!😁
I’m learning this …. I have to talk to her like girl what’s wrong with you acting 18😮😮 help me … not your pEee feeling good 😮😮40 is the new young woman… we need to talk about this issue lol
It must skipped all over me then, I never want to 🤷🏿♀️
Facts
Sho is.... I'm learning😂
So true
This was a much needed conversation.. there is a lot of growth in you guys, it's obvious! But most of all the maturity of you guys listening (actively listening).. keep pushing.. keep moving forward... TOGETHER!!❤❤❤❤
Omg I was just having a convo last night with my partner of 8 years. We get so swept away with kids, financial troubles, grief etc that we get easily used to the routine of not having sex and intimacy overall. I can tell you one thing after having these talks I too look forward to the fun...cause it really does make both people grow closer and fall all in love again. Yall know what im talkin bout 😅.
It tickles me whenever Chance tells Tab to "Stay Focused." Tab was about to drive that conversation to the left😁😁😁😁 It's great where you can banter with your partner.
Chance: "Baby...you're gonna have those old ladies in my DMs. I don't want those nasty pictures." 🤣🤣🤣
@@mjohnson6841 Almost took me out 🤣🤣🤣
He catches her every time 😅😂
I applaud both of your for having this uncomfortable conversation that a lot of us need to hear. Me and my husband have been in a similar situation and it helps to hear both sides.
😂😂😂I laughed so hard at Chance trying his best to hold Tab back.."alright, you gonna have these old ladies in my DMs"😂😂
Giiiirrrlll i hollered 😂
I had to run it back...Ol ladies been sending him pic??😂
I wish Tab & Chance would counsel young couples so they know making it as far as they have is possible. Overcoming things together instead of apart. People change every decade. It’s inevitable.
Thank God for videos! They can only do so many things in their life, BUT these videos can go a looong way and be shared with Millions! 🎉
Young people have to want the advice. Many of us try, but they reject with such horrible attitudes.
This is the counseling !! Free and accessible at our convenience. It doesn’t get much better. If they have access or resources they can get a licensed professional to expound on how they relate to the topics personally and work through it with them.
I feel like we encountered an inside joke at 19:30 cuz they were both laughing TOO hard 😂 I love y’all
I’ve never been married but I always wanted someone I can talk every thing to and about as a best friend in marriage, even the hard times and hard conversations. I enjoyed getting a glimpse of what people experience in loving each other through phases of difficulty instead of people pretending as if they don’t have/haven’t had issues and grew or worked towards change.
Chance is right. We get it. We don’t need to know the details. Sometimes too much will cause people to look at you differently. But make no mistake, you all give good advice & have helped so many of us. I’ve been married 40 years & have learned some great things from you. Things I didn’t necessarily realize. You all are hilarious too! Thank you & God continue to bless you! 💕💕💕
😮բլ չ չ նի բ
Tab you hit the nail on the head!! When hubby isn’t initiating it rips us wives to shreds! It brings insecurities, makes us feel bad about ourselves, and wonder if we’re good or pretty enough. Chance you’re so right… Rejection hurts both husbands and wives.
Let’s respect and honor growth in eachother❤ I’m so proud of you both for surviving the growing pains🙏🏽
I'd love for you all to discuss how you adapt to changes in your relationship. If one person evolves, how does your spouse receive the "new and improved" you although they haven't changed? For instance, if you were typically more passive and become outspoken. Also, how can you encourage your partner to hear you instead of just listening? Love these discussions ❤.
Tab and Chance Fridays Topics are Vital to our Community bc sometimes we don't have people in our lives, who can have these types of honest conversations. Thank you❤
Great video, I was in a beautiful marriage before my now ex wife left me, i still love her and most times i cant stop thinking about her, i am doing my very best to get rid of the thought of her, but i just cant, i love her so much, i dont know why i am bring this here for, i cant stop thinking about her.
@jaypritchett3414 wow, how did you get a spiritual adviser, and how do I reach her?
@jaypritchett3414 Thank you for this valuable information, I just looked her up now online. impressive.
Go FIX it and lay it all out on the line and be accountable and apologize and go get your woman !!!!
This is very familiar. I told my husband, we need to start with fourplay, setting the move. My husband said he doesn’t always have to be the one to initiate. I said ok! I always have initiate so, It’s good to have theses conversations with our spouses amen! I’m going to push fourths through the layers of my life amen. Earth 😇😇💜✝️💜🔥🔥🔥
Y’all had me crackin up!! “get the ice, get the ice” 😂😂😂 This was such a good episode that a lot of married and single folk needed to hear. I’m divorced and realize a lot of the things I did wrong. I’ve been single for 7 years working on myself and I think I’m ready to try again: this time a healed and evolved person. Anyway, loved the video! Many blessings to you two for sharing your journey with all of us. ❤❤❤❤❤
Stop thinking about what you can get. Think about what you got and what you want to keep. Words of wisdom from Chance
Tabitha Brown 1.01M!!!! Congratulations!!!🎉🎉🎉
Tabitha you guys crack me up. I enjoy your conversations. GOD BLESS YOU BOTH
Chance is like, “Oh lord she putting all my business in the streets”
So glad y'all made it through the tough years, because y'all are beautiful now!
Look! We thank you both for the must needed message..my husband and I had a great night because of you all. (Currently 4 months PP and our season is definitely a season) Very insightful and positive words for married folks!
If I close my eyes and change the voices, I would swear this is my husband and I. Reassuring to hear how this is a very common theme in marriages and how you all work through it. I'm going to listen again with my husband. It will not only validate his feelings but see that it's not just him and it's not just me. It's not just US and WE can get through these same issues! Thanks Tab and Chance!
This can up today (again) with my 16 year marriage...so I'm here for it...👀
They are hilarious...I'm dying over here...💀
Makes perfect sense. Time changes things and then things can change back. As women Theres health, chores? Tiredness and then surgery and kids get grown. We totally ready again.
Thank you for this conversation ❤ it was needed, I am 18 years married and I watched this with my husband. We were able to see each others side ❤ I apologized and now we can move forward.
Watching the video made it less awkward and we were able to listen and not feel alone on this topic ❤ Thank you Tab
I needed this episode SO BAD!!!!! Thank you for making this.
@queenlex4138 100%agreed