This guy dodged an absolute bullet with this woman! If she lied about that story about his abusive dad, imagine what she could have made up against him!
Not everybody deserves forgiveness. I’ll never understand people try to force trauma/abuse victims to reconcile with abusive family members. Op made it very clear he wanted nothing to do with their father yet the girlfriend violated that boundary anyway. The fact she also used religion to excuse the dads behavior is just gross.
The only good thing about that kind of attempt to force reconciliation is that you become aware the person doing it doesn't respect your boundaries and isn't worth holding onto. It's hard enough to cope with traumatic abuse without your abuser in your life. I can barely imagine how I'd react if the person who abused me was waiting for me in my home. I certainly wouldn't feel safe there anymore.
She's very religious and a stickler for forgiveness, but she lies easily about her partner and his father? I thought lying was also one of the sins in the bible.
@@Mark73she literally brought her bf rapist father who scarred and abandoned him to his house. It's obvious her father is too good a man. And maybe disowning her is somewhat harsh, but at least remove her from the will. Have whatever portion went to you to go to charity for abused kids or something.
@@Mark73 She literally forced an HIGHLY ABUSED AND TRAUMATISED fiance.. -her fiance- to see who hurt him over and over again in ways that should have lead to the abuser's death( in my opinion). She willingly chose to be dumb, lie about the abuser to get the Abused in trouble with her family. 'Forgiveness is a virtue, but even a virtue can become a Sin if it harms another.'
It's ironic that she uses the forgiveness card to try to guilt trip the OP, but she lies to the family about the OP's father. One of the Ten Commandments even says "Thou shalt not bare false witness." Hypocrisy at its finest.
Man, I really wanna know what that dad did to his daughter. I found the full story, and I sincerely hope he knocked some sense into her. I can't believe she lied like that to her entire family. Poor OP.
My ex tried to get me to reconnect with my abusive family. I listened because she made me feel like I was broken for not having a family. I hate people who don't listen.
That’s what I am afraid of when I start dating again. I come from a family of monsters so I cut most off. I want to date someone who has a healthy family but I don’t want them to try to force reconciliation or judge me for not wanting to try to save them from themselves and each other. I will help if some has made it clear in their actions that they separated from the family and are trying to heal but that’s it.
If your partner respects you, no forced issue shalm come. I'd know after seeing mother twice and father thrice in 13 years of marriage, where every month I get pampered by step parents in one way or another. Ofc they weren't at the wedding and we were happy.
That gf needs to focus on not lying and minding her own business! She knew what the dad did and how hurt and still damaged the bf is but she didn’t care she wanted to play saint save the day not caring of the trauma she would be causing her bf! It’s great that he kicked her out and ended that mess!
I think being a little religious is healthy, religion has good core values, but I definitely agree that being super religious is a red flag. To me, it's beyond moronic that people believe the same things from 5 years old until the day they die, especially things that are hurtful for arbitrary reasons like sexism and homophobia. It's kind of crazy to me that many believe religion at all, like you allow this book, which you were given because you were born into a certain country, and that has zero proof to define your entire perspective. Most people simply rely on religion for coping and community, it's what they know, it makes them feel comfortable, and they would be lost without it, so they don't allow themselves to challenge it and be logical, which is usually okay, but sometimes it leads to hurting people.
@@xddude If you are a kid or really ignorant then yes, being a little religious is healthy. But you should really study a little bit about morality, ethics and philosophy so that you can follow a moral code that makes sense to you and to the world instead of following the teachings of ancient people who thought that slavery was ok. In the end you might not be a extreme fundamentalist and you could be flexible with your beliefs, but the foundation is there and will guide you in ways you don't know to do actions that are harmful to others, like voting for certain politicians...
@@xddudeall the abusers and horrible people ive ever met have been religious, cant say the friends i have that dont give two craps about god or the afterlife have ever done anything wrong to anyone though
Well yeah. In these made up fake reddit stories they always prefecite them with 'very religious" but never say how or show upset with any particular religious thing. It's just a given. It's to make you hate the idea of religion. But they also almost always bring up the quasi religion of modern society called sciencism and push both therapy and other science turned cult ideals in it's place. Very disturbing.
Even though we can forgive people, it doesn't mean we have to let them back into our lives. I can forgive someone for wronging me while still prefering to never see them again. Also, forgiveness is a personal journey. Not to be forced on by others who don't understand the hurt. This woman has missed the mark on the whole faith and instead of using wisdom to approach problems like Christ taught, threw wisdom out the window and made knee jerk decisions based on her feelings. I hope she learns from this experience and OP gets some peace of mind.
Honestly i normally don't agree but i hope her family goes nc with as well because this here is plain unacceptable and can't be excused, She is a threat to her own family with her actions, she lied to her own family about everything that happened, And most of all she talked to a man she clearly knew abused and sa op (and for all we, know possibly others.), and brought him to op's home, and since she didn't tell her family the truth, she made them think this predator was a good man when he's worse then a monster, so no she needs to face consequences and honestly not be near any children in her family if she wants to hangout with people like this pos man, op dodged a bullet because i can't imagine if he had children with this woman.
There a far larger issue at play. An issue that effects us all. And that is people in general dont take the abuse men suffer seriously. Its always: "You're just beinhg dramatic ." Or "Why didnt you defend yourself?" Or "What did you do to deserve that?" And while men are guilty of not caring it you ladies that take it up a notch and use a mans pain against him. Sure I seen men shrug their shoulders, but it women who really drill in the pain. Weaponize it and use it as a tool to manipulate. We are too concerned with the suffering of one sex that we fail to relise that the other is suffering equally. Truly I cant be upset with OPs ex, she lives in a society that literally makes fun of men suffering in all media 24/7. She is just a result of having a good father in an environment that tells her her bf is just dramatizing his plight. If the scars on his body wasnt good enough proff for her to listen nothing will. And dont get me wrong there are men who do the samw to women. But our society makes it a sport when it a man who getting beat down.
Girlfriend sounds like a narcissist with a savior complex. Because op said no she couldn't let that go and need to prove him wrong. Because she couldn't be wrong. But then doubled down by getting her family involved. She didn't even realize how her lies would be exposed. I wonder if the dad actually got their life together. Girlfriend probably fed him some story about wanting to reconnect/bury the past and move forward. Op will need to get security or move since their dad knows where they live now. But maybe after that reaction he will just stay away.
WOW!!! not only she gangs his entire family against op and not telling all the details, but also destroying all his trust using his trauma against him to reunite with this POS of human being....clearly the family is going to do 2 things... 1-revaluate all their beliefs and have the complete proof of the other side of the story. 2-disowning her and throw her out immediately for using their beliefs for the evil.
As much as i am angry about what the dad did in the story and what the girlfriend did, I couldn't stop laughing at what OP said about his girlfriend's family defying the laws of physics.
Rumors has it that OP reembraced the bachelorhood, and stopped dating for the next 5 years. His EX-girlfriend, was removed from her parent's will, and that of her grand-parents, and was banned from dating.
@@SolarBrain4128 She WASN'T disowned; just cut from the will. Besides, she still has older siblings that will make her work 7 days a week, and keep her from dating anymore men.
Okay the fact that she lied to her family about what kind of person his father was proves that she knew what he did was unforgivable, but she just wanted her way to feel some kind of moral superiority
There's red flags, and then there's inviting your partners childhood rapist into your home to get your partner to forgive them. Wtf is wrong with people!?
I’m religious. A Christian too of the Catholic denomination. I forgive everyone even those who have really ruined parts of my life, but that doesn’t mean I have to reconcile with them. Forgiveness does not require reconciliation.
Some optomists think they can make the world better by manipulating people regardless of their right or not to do so. My advice though is keep in touch with the family at least and explain everything that happened so they know the extent of her mistake. Who knows. You may not have them as future inlaws but friends who can understand your pain is a lot better. As for her, its time she sought therapy or a medical exam as clearly she is so deranged she would try to attempt a reconciliation. As for the father, if he tries to contact him then tell him the only time you want to see him again is when they put him in a casket and bury him so you can do unmentionable things on that grave.
What can anyone say? How dare she! I'm truly sorry for your life experiences. First, with your father and second with that bozo of a former fiance. What a doofus! Whether she is religious or not, she had no right to put you into that situation. Why do people do that to their loved ones? She is just as abusive as your father. Red flag!
Seen too many story of narcissistic (and oftentimes religious) people trying to reconnect what never should be brought together again. Whenever someone tries to talk you into forgiving or even just meeting someone you really don’t want to, you need to stomp down on that. Hard! Give an ultimatum. „This is not up for debate, you know why I feel that way and I personally don’t want to change that. I like/love you, but if you go over my boundaries this way just to feel better, we are better off going different ways. And if you actually go through with it, I will make sure to expose you to all who care…since in the case of those events, their approval means more to you than my feelings, wellbeing and approval.“ Never settle for someone who can’t have your back in this way. It’s easy to not do all that detective work, to not play sharade, to not set up a meeting between all parties. It’s easy because it requires to do no work other than not being a narcissist busybody who „needs to do good“. If that is hard to you, please BE offended! Seek help. Or don’t (and suffer potential consequences).
@@professorrosenstock5026 whataboutism is not an argument i will accept. Every piece of actual behavioral science says the men who do this compared to women is so hugely different, its the same as arguing exceptions to disprove rules.
You should never have said to your toxic girlfriend about shoving Christ where the sun does not shine! That is taking the Lords name in vain! He would want you to forgive your abusive father for your own mental, physical, spiritual, psychological, and emotional well-being; but that does not mean that you have to reconcile or reestablish a relationship with him!
So she is very religious but wants op to reconnect whith his dad who did a plethora of things that would have gotten him executed under the old testament?
This guy dodged an absolute bullet with this woman! If she lied about that story about his abusive dad, imagine what she could have made up against him!
They say people who had abusive parents will potentially one day marry someone who behaves like one of their parents
No wonder the girlfriend lied about what happened, she knew that her family wouldn't be on her side when they found out the truth!
Wouldn't have been and absolutely weren't
I would honestly sue her just for the simple fact that that man would now know where I live.
I would’ve instantly moved and put out a restraining order
Would there even be a case for that?
Not everybody deserves forgiveness. I’ll never understand people try to force trauma/abuse victims to reconcile with abusive family members. Op made it very clear he wanted nothing to do with their father yet the girlfriend violated that boundary anyway. The fact she also used religion to excuse the dads behavior is just gross.
The only good thing about that kind of attempt to force reconciliation is that you become aware the person doing it doesn't respect your boundaries and isn't worth holding onto. It's hard enough to cope with traumatic abuse without your abuser in your life. I can barely imagine how I'd react if the person who abused me was waiting for me in my home. I certainly wouldn't feel safe there anymore.
Christians so easily forget the Old Testament
I'm Christian and I think what she did was bullshit
She's very religious and a stickler for forgiveness, but she lies easily about her partner and his father? I thought lying was also one of the sins in the bible.
She's a stickler for forgiveness because she knows that she's a bad person and wants to be with a person that will "forgive" all her abuse.
@@yamairad1This. So much this.
It's literally one of the ten commandments. Thou shall not bear false witness.
Yes @@yamairad1
That the funny thing
People like this love to use
religion as a shield
That daughter needs to be disowned.
That's a little harsh. She needs a good talking to about lying.
@@Mark73she is a grown up. 💀 💀 💀
"a talk about lying" 💀 💀 💀
You are insane.
@@Shuramaru You are insane if you think disowning her for causing her family some embarrassment is reasonable.
@@Mark73she literally brought her bf rapist father who scarred and abandoned him to his house.
It's obvious her father is too good a man. And maybe disowning her is somewhat harsh, but at least remove her from the will. Have whatever portion went to you to go to charity for abused kids or something.
@@Mark73 She literally forced an HIGHLY ABUSED AND TRAUMATISED fiance.. -her fiance- to see who hurt him over and over again in ways that should have lead to the abuser's death( in my opinion). She willingly chose to be dumb, lie about the abuser to get the Abused in trouble with her family.
'Forgiveness is a virtue, but even a virtue can become a Sin if it harms another.'
It's ironic that she uses the forgiveness card to try to guilt trip the OP, but she lies to the family about the OP's father. One of the Ten Commandments even says "Thou shalt not bare false witness."
Hypocrisy at its finest.
I really hope the girlfriend experiences EVERYTHING op had to experience so she knows what it feels like. If anyone deserves that, she does.
2:06 and then she used his trauma that he shared with her against him….. wow
why alot of guys don't share shit with partners ...used againish us. damn some people don't understand why we don't talk to certain relatives/parents
Women 101
Man, I really wanna know what that dad did to his daughter. I found the full story, and I sincerely hope he knocked some sense into her. I can't believe she lied like that to her entire family. Poor OP.
It's funny that she claims to be religious and then lied
Talk about a backfire 😮
My ex tried to get me to reconnect with my abusive family. I listened because she made me feel like I was broken for not having a family. I hate people who don't listen.
That’s what I am afraid of when I start dating again. I come from a family of monsters so I cut most off. I want to date someone who has a healthy family but I don’t want them to try to force reconciliation or judge me for not wanting to try to save them from themselves and each other. I will help if some has made it clear in their actions that they separated from the family and are trying to heal but that’s it.
If your partner respects you, no forced issue shalm come.
I'd know after seeing mother twice and father thrice in 13 years of marriage, where every month I get pampered by step parents in one way or another.
Ofc they weren't at the wedding and we were happy.
TL;DR Broke up with girlfriend because she tried to reunite me with my abusive father
That gf needs to focus on not lying and minding her own business! She knew what the dad did and how hurt and still damaged the bf is but she didn’t care she wanted to play saint save the day not caring of the trauma she would be causing her bf! It’s great that he kicked her out and ended that mess!
At least his ex's dad apologized.
She is a liar, she knew that even her own family would turn on her 😂😂😂
I should not have laughed so hard at “stick Christ where the sun don’t shine”💀
gf''d dad is pretty sensible at the end there icl
"she is very religious" That's when you know you should stop
Yep it's pretty easy to predict the rest of the story after that part
I think being a little religious is healthy, religion has good core values, but I definitely agree that being super religious is a red flag. To me, it's beyond moronic that people believe the same things from 5 years old until the day they die, especially things that are hurtful for arbitrary reasons like sexism and homophobia.
It's kind of crazy to me that many believe religion at all, like you allow this book, which you were given because you were born into a certain country, and that has zero proof to define your entire perspective. Most people simply rely on religion for coping and community, it's what they know, it makes them feel comfortable, and they would be lost without it, so they don't allow themselves to challenge it and be logical, which is usually okay, but sometimes it leads to hurting people.
@@xddude If you are a kid or really ignorant then yes, being a little religious is healthy. But you should really study a little bit about morality, ethics and philosophy so that you can follow a moral code that makes sense to you and to the world instead of following the teachings of ancient people who thought that slavery was ok. In the end you might not be a extreme fundamentalist and you could be flexible with your beliefs, but the foundation is there and will guide you in ways you don't know to do actions that are harmful to others, like voting for certain politicians...
@@xddudeall the abusers and horrible people ive ever met have been religious, cant say the friends i have that dont give two craps about god or the afterlife have ever done anything wrong to anyone though
Well yeah.
In these made up fake reddit stories they always prefecite them with 'very religious" but never say how or show upset with any particular religious thing. It's just a given.
It's to make you hate the idea of religion.
But they also almost always bring up the quasi religion of modern society called sciencism and push both therapy and other science turned cult ideals in it's place.
Very disturbing.
Even though we can forgive people, it doesn't mean we have to let them back into our lives. I can forgive someone for wronging me while still prefering to never see them again. Also, forgiveness is a personal journey. Not to be forced on by others who don't understand the hurt. This woman has missed the mark on the whole faith and instead of using wisdom to approach problems like Christ taught, threw wisdom out the window and made knee jerk decisions based on her feelings. I hope she learns from this experience and OP gets some peace of mind.
Honestly i normally don't agree but i hope her family goes nc with as well because this here is plain unacceptable and can't be excused,
She is a threat to her own family with her actions, she lied to her own family about everything that happened,
And most of all she talked to a man she clearly knew abused and sa op (and for all we, know possibly others.), and brought him to op's home, and since she didn't tell her family the truth, she made them think this predator was a good man when he's worse then a monster,
so no she needs to face consequences and honestly not be near any children in her family if she wants to hangout with people like this pos man,
op dodged a bullet because i can't imagine if he had children with this woman.
She's gonna be in a world of trouble, 😅
There a far larger issue at play. An issue that effects us all. And that is people in general dont take the abuse men suffer seriously.
Its always:
"You're just beinhg dramatic ."
Or
"Why didnt you defend yourself?"
Or
"What did you do to deserve that?"
And while men are guilty of not caring it you ladies that take it up a notch and use a mans pain against him. Sure I seen men shrug their shoulders, but it women who really drill in the pain. Weaponize it and use it as a tool to manipulate.
We are too concerned with the suffering of one sex that we fail to relise that the other is suffering equally.
Truly I cant be upset with OPs ex, she lives in a society that literally makes fun of men suffering in all media 24/7. She is just a result of having a good father in an environment that tells her her bf is just dramatizing his plight. If the scars on his body wasnt good enough proff for her to listen nothing will.
And dont get me wrong there are men who do the samw to women. But our society makes it a sport when it a man who getting beat down.
She knew full well she was in the wrong as she had to make sh*t up to her own parents, and nothing excises stepping on your partners' boundaries.
Yeah if i was the GF dad i would disown her....
Girlfriend sounds like a narcissist with a savior complex. Because op said no she couldn't let that go and need to prove him wrong. Because she couldn't be wrong. But then doubled down by getting her family involved. She didn't even realize how her lies would be exposed.
I wonder if the dad actually got their life together. Girlfriend probably fed him some story about wanting to reconnect/bury the past and move forward. Op will need to get security or move since their dad knows where they live now. But maybe after that reaction he will just stay away.
WOW!!! not only she gangs his entire family against op and not telling all the details, but also destroying all his trust using his trauma against him to reunite with this POS of human being....clearly the family is going to do 2 things...
1-revaluate all their beliefs and have the complete proof of the other side of the story.
2-disowning her and throw her out immediately for using their beliefs for the evil.
They don't know what trauma is.
She's going to get a massive reality check when she gets home and her dad tears her a new one about her lying about everything
As much as i am angry about what the dad did in the story and what the girlfriend did, I couldn't stop laughing at what OP said about his girlfriend's family defying the laws of physics.
Rumors has it that OP reembraced the bachelorhood, and stopped dating for the next 5 years. His EX-girlfriend, was removed from her parent's will, and that of her grand-parents, and was banned from dating.
That last point is off. How the heck do you ban a grown-up from dating, much less one you've practically disowned so what does she have to lose?
@@SolarBrain4128 She WASN'T disowned; just cut from the will. Besides, she still has older siblings that will make her work 7 days a week, and keep her from dating anymore men.
There are some things that are unforgivable for a reason, you did well to drop them both out of your life
Okay the fact that she lied to her family about what kind of person his father was proves that she knew what he did was unforgivable, but she just wanted her way to feel some kind of moral superiority
Well, at least the stupid GFs dad turned out to be a decent person.
"No reason?" - Bill Burr
There's red flags, and then there's inviting your partners childhood rapist into your home to get your partner to forgive them.
Wtf is wrong with people!?
Surprised the OP's ex wasn't disowned
I’m religious. A Christian too of the Catholic denomination. I forgive everyone even those who have really ruined parts of my life, but that doesn’t mean I have to reconcile with them.
Forgiveness does not require reconciliation.
Can't swear, can't get too uppity talking about religion, she doesn't listen. Even without the dad, who the fuck would want a relationship like this?
Forgiveness doesn’t mean hanging out
Should have given them 24 hours to return the money or you'd call the cops and have them all arrested
Some optomists think they can make the world better by manipulating people regardless of their right or not to do so. My advice though is keep in touch with the family at least and explain everything that happened so they know the extent of her mistake. Who knows. You may not have them as future inlaws but friends who can understand your pain is a lot better. As for her, its time she sought therapy or a medical exam as clearly she is so deranged she would try to attempt a reconciliation. As for the father, if he tries to contact him then tell him the only time you want to see him again is when they put him in a casket and bury him so you can do unmentionable things on that grave.
Thats messed up
"very religious" means OP isn't, which is probably the worst combo possible ... this kind of behaviour is just insane.
What can anyone say? How dare she! I'm truly sorry for your life experiences. First, with your father and second with that bozo of a former fiance. What a doofus! Whether she is religious or not, she had no right to put you into that situation. Why do people do that to their loved ones? She is just as abusive as your father. Red flag!
Well she can't be to Religious if she has to lie about the story just to get her family on her side...💔💔💔
Seen too many story of narcissistic (and oftentimes religious) people trying to reconnect what never should be brought together again.
Whenever someone tries to talk you into forgiving or even just meeting someone you really don’t want to, you need to stomp down on that. Hard!
Give an ultimatum. „This is not up for debate, you know why I feel that way and I personally don’t want to change that. I like/love you, but if you go over my boundaries this way just to feel better, we are better off going different ways. And if you actually go through with it, I will make sure to expose you to all who care…since in the case of those events, their approval means more to you than my feelings, wellbeing and approval.“
Never settle for someone who can’t have your back in this way. It’s easy to not do all that detective work, to not play sharade, to not set up a meeting between all parties. It’s easy because it requires to do no work other than not being a narcissist busybody who „needs to do good“.
If that is hard to you, please BE offended! Seek help. Or don’t (and suffer potential consequences).
Stick christ where the sun dont shine 😂😂😂😂
People its fine to be religious but don't push it on people who has a valid reason to not talk to a specific person
*If There's Any New Updates, Please Upload A Video With The New Updates!*
I'm glad the story is well read as I have to scroll down where I can't see the screen. The video used is just too distracting to watch.
Welcome to women folks. Theyre all like this
Just cause your mom sucked doesn’t mean all women are the same Just because op’s Dad was an abuser doesn’t make all men abusers
Men do this sometimes too. There was a recent Reddit post about this.
@@professorrosenstock5026 whataboutism is not an argument i will accept. Every piece of actual behavioral science says the men who do this compared to women is so hugely different, its the same as arguing exceptions to disprove rules.
Whataboutism is wrong, but blanket statements are fine?
@@4plus20isHappy whataboutism is meant to remove focus from the point, the blanket statement is both true and stays on point
Sheesh you let your daddy walk around to this day knowing he got away with it... Nah see id take my time with a chomo like that
You should never have said to your toxic girlfriend about shoving Christ where the sun does not shine! That is taking the Lords name in vain! He would want you to forgive your abusive father for your own mental, physical, spiritual, psychological, and emotional well-being; but that does not mean that you have to reconcile or reestablish a relationship with him!
So she is very religious but wants op to reconnect whith his dad who did a plethora of things that would have gotten him executed under the old testament?
Slow the freak down damn
Hi
Bring religious is a massive red flag