That One Time House Cured Asexuality
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- Опубліковано 15 вер 2024
- Sometimes representation is bad, let's talk about an episode from the final season of House MD with an Asexual couple in it.
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#DavidJBradley #Asexuality #HouseMD
I watched House with my Dad when I was around 12, and absolutely loved it (it made me fall in love with medicine, and now I'm studying to be a doctor). I didn't know anything about asexuality at the time. Now, several years later, I identify as ace. This episode was brought up in a different video essay about asexuality and I was completely shocked. I didn't even remember the episode, but now I can't stand it. I can still appreciate and really like the show as a whole, but the way the writer (or producers perhaps) handled this makes me lose a bit of respect for them. Especially since this would have been so easy to get right and would have made such a huge difference in public perception. I think your explaination of why they couldn't have made House wrong from a character perspective was insightful! However, I still think that they could have let the wife remain asexual. I mean, why would you add that in? It serves no purpose. House would have still won the bet but asexuality wouldn't be nearly as invalidated.
That's awesome that the show inspired you to pursue medicine. I hope all that's going well for you (I imagine it's a bit stressful right now). It really is a shame how it was handled, and I hope that people take the right lesson from it and do Ace rep right in the future.
I used to like the show too so I felt weirdly betrayed when the episode came up. I do believe the writer was saying the truth because when I watched it I really thought House was going to be proven wrong, that's where I felt it was going. I was literally on the edge of my seat, thinking (pretty naively) "that's it, we're going to have mainstream ace represention!", only to be let down at the end.
Houses' point of view was that no one could be ace, that it just didn't exist. That's probably why the wife wasn't ace either.
Ps: good luck for your studies!
If they left the wife asexual they probably would have had a reason to "fix" her as well though.
I feel like they wanted to have a "happy" ending to this little side plot. After the husband is diagnosed, he starts wondering what he's going to do now, until the wife says that it's okay, because she's not ace. So *hooray*, they'll get to have sex together and be a "normal" couple. (Never mind the fact that if I were him, I'd have a huge problem with finding out my wife lied to me for over a decade)
Yeah... I've had the exact same experience you did and thought the same about the wife.
Wait, doesn't the wife spending ten years not having sex because she loves her husband disprove House's claim that everyone is motivated by sex? Obviously she wasn't, even if she wasn't asexual.
+
Yes. Yes, it does.
He'd probably say "bah, she was cheating, case closed"
@@shizotypical It probably would have been written that way. But it might have left more of an open question in the audience's mind (minds?)
+
"You can't be broken, because sex doesn't make people whole." I wish someone had told me this years ago when everyone around me was sex-crazed and I couldn't understand what was wrong with me when I wasn't (and still aren't).
I am very critical of many Netflix's decisions with shows, but Sex Education (which I am sure it can has flaws) did an amaizing job talking about Taboo stuff and it deserves a lot of praise.
@ÖC because when you're surrounded by hormonal teenagers your age that at least occasionally talk about people they like and would want to fuck, or sex with their partners and their sexual desires, and you're seemingly the only one who has never felt any kind of sexual attraction to another person and there's no one to talk to about that without looking at you weirdly or saying "you'll feel that way soon", you start to think there's something wrong with you for being so abnormal compared to everyone around you. When someone thinks one way and everyone around them, as well as the media and all the kids on TV and in the movies, think the opposite, usually they quickly come to the conclusion that their way of thinking is the problem.
@@platinum_noelle I know I'm a stranger so it don't matter much but I wanted to say I really related to your comment, it's comforting that there are people who feel and experience world similarly to me, I still get overwhelmed with how oversexualised everything is and wish I could disappear because I don't fit in, but then, from time to time I find somebody who is on the same boat as me, and it gives me some courage to keep going, I hope you have a great day and stay healthy : )
Keep in mind that while it's good and fine for ace people, for people who do experience sexual attraction and urges, or who's sexualities are a big part of their identities statement's like, "Sex doesn't make people whole." Can be very hurtful and invalidating. Perhaps a better one might be, "Sex isn't the only thing that makes people whole." Or, "Sex doesn't make *everyone* whole."
@@souffrantdepine3762 I'm pretty sure by saying "sex doesn't make you whole" no one means that it can't be significant for others, it's about the context so no worries
Last time I checked, sexual attraction is different than being horny. So that tumor thing is such bullcrap.
yeap
Not totally
Sexual attraction is linked to that.
It's as dumb as saying that pain and having a fracture are not linked, they are.
Being horny is simply the psychological and physiological reaction to brain chemicals that react creating excitation and sexual pulsion.
Assexual people brain simply don't react.
Homosexual brain react to the stimuli/chemicals of people of the same gender.
Bisexual react to both etc.
Meaning no this is not bullshit but entirely valid.
However sexual orientation, sexual behaviour and romantic orientation are differents things.
For exemple gay people presured or even tortured and traumatised to "change their orientation" can't.
They only change their sexual behaviour.
.
This patient had an altered behaviour due to the tumor, that practically stop his brain reaction to that. Which change his behaviour in accordance to this absence of reaction.
.
Because yes sexual orientation is partially biological and innate, (so all the fuckers who say LGBT IS against nature can shut up and punch themselves).
But the sexual behaviour can be changed through trauma and experience, like torture or social pressure. Or by anomalies or signals in the brain.
@@deinsilverdrac8695 are you asexual?
how is it different? i genuinely don't know and would like to understand. what defines sexual attraction if not arousal?
@@deinsilverdrac8695 I totally get the difference between orientation and behavior, it's a pretty obvious one. I didn't become straight when I started having sex, so why would I think gay people are defined by having sex? never made sense to me.
but I genuinely don't understand the difference between sexual attraction and arousal.
It also perpetuates the sexist idea that women don't have sexual needs and will or will not have sex depending on whatever the man wants
i just realised that , holy hell you are right ! that makes it even more messed up...
That was my immediate thought
I'm not sure I follow. I thought it did imply women have sexual needs because the woman was going behind the man's back in order to meet her needs.
@@mattsmith457 oh didn't realize she did that
@@mattsmith457 oh I didn't realize she was also cheating. I thought she just became celibate for her man like it was no big deal.
Oh yes. Reminds me of “you’re not lesbian, you just haven’t met the _right_ man yet, honey”
Edit: This last year I found I’m not fully straight and am now indeed looking for the right man
Edit: am girl. Turns out that was more a gender crisis than a sexuality one
🤮 i hate the you haven't met the right person yet story.. like honestly it's not about me not being able to love anyone it's about me not feeling sexual attraction to the human form.. like jeesh..
Comphet Comphet Comphet Comphet
That's SO STUPID
HOW DO YOU SAY THAT WITHOUT SHARTING YOUR BRAIN?!
I hate that statement. “Your not gay. You just haven’t met the right girl” oh no I’ve seen plenty of women and most of them are the classic high school asshole stereotypical girls. Even the girls I do like(which is extremely few) I have no affection. But everytime a cute guy goes by I can’t stop staring and I have to concentrate myself from looking away from them
A friend told his mom he was asexual and she didn’t believe him saying that he hadn’t met the right person yet
i remember someone explaining asexuallity to me like
"its like i dont have a sense of smell, like i could never smell, and people are spraying perfume in my nose asking how wonderful it seems. and when i say "i cant smell it." they say "well yes you can! because i can smell it, i see you have a nose like me, so obviously you can smell it!" and even when they dont say that they say "well maybe you just havent found a scent that you like yet. go try more perfumes." but that doesnt change the fact that cant smell them. and even im okay with not being able to smell it, when ive accepted my lack of smell, others seem to hate me for it. it doesnt effect you, karen. go smell your perfume and leave me alone."
That's a really interesting metaphor
brilliant analogy
other one include:
it's like you are in an all-you can eat buffet, but you are not hungry.
I actually am both asexual and have a bad sense of smell so I absolutely understand this
There's also a very good ace representation in Bojack Horseman series
Yeah, Todd! Ah, I miss BJ
Yes! What I loved is that Todd gets one partner, the Axotlotl but they don't work out and it shows that you don't just need to date the first other ace you meet. Also the Bunny he ends up with is so cute and funny and a perfect match for him.
lyadmilo Todd and Maude !
Pretty much the only
I fucking cried when I found out that there was a relatively well-known show that had asexual representation and I cried again every time Todd came out because I felt so seen and validated
There was also that time a teenage girl came on the show. She turned out to be intersex, but House revealed it to her by saying something like 'Surprise, you're actually a boy!' and persistently misgendering her until she cried. So that's fun. Really great representation.
That's how House speaks. I'm pretty sure he did that, as another comment pointed out, to disgust the Father who was sexually abusing the intersex model.
yunafires there’s an episode where he calls an intersex boy a freak so eeeeeh nah he’s just an ass.
@@lorgarspersonalchair The man left the country after stealing drugs from the hospital he worked at. its his character, even if it is messed up
hes also sexist and racist. House is not a good person, never was, never will be
@@drljevic583 true but that's not great for the little intersex rep that is out there. Also I don't watch this show but, does the show itself indicate why he was wrong or does ir gloss over it n
"You don't need arousal to be happy"
Indeed, there are any number of ways that arousal can make you incredibly *unhappy*, both directly and indirectly.
I agree
Whenever I get “aroused” i find it so uncomfortable and annoying.
And sometimes it happens at nothing.
@@Dragonmongamer Absolutely. Mine is sometimes outright painful
@@Dragonmongamer same. My arousal just happens weirdly and against my own wishes. It's crazy. It's like I don't want to feel any arousal, and yet my body has an erection, like my body is betraying me. It's insane.
@@Dragonmongamer this!
Dude, despite being married 16 years, we both have to admit that cuddling and head scratches and kisses and hugs are sooooooo much better than anything sexual and arousing any day of the week. And, since I am disabled and my husband is the only one working, we both have no energy and even way less energy than when we were younger to want to do anything so heck yeah cuddles!
That's funny when you remember that House was based on Holmes who's one of the asexual icons in pop-culture history
Well...yikes
Nope, Moffat's Holmes is Ace, not the original Holmes. Appreciate the point though
@@lewisjnewmanify no, it's definitely the OG sherlock that's got the signs
Right, and even Holmes was wrong/outsmarted on more than a few occasions.
Wasn’t Holmes grey-sexual? He had a thing for Irene Adler right?
It’s.unfortunately similar to the way gays were handled on TV early on. They usually ended up “cured” (they weren’t “really” gay after all) or dead.
"Kill your gays" is STILL a thing. The Walking Dead has killed off just about every gay character they've ever had, which is already a short list.
Hollywood: Pssshhhh, we’re not HoMoPhObIc, we have gay characters on our show!
Also Hollywood:
**kills the gay characters**
**portrays the gay characters in a stereotypical manner**
**portrays gay characters as predators**
**makes a random background character in the crowd gay and call it representation**
Cerridwen DragonArt Il sorry if I come across as ignorant but, didn’t the Walking Dead kill like, everyone? Not to undermine that particular thing, I have seen it often enough in other comics I’ve read
@@raydaly8827
The way they shamelessly killed off just about every single gay character ever is important to look at. Only one is still alive currently. A lot of these characters weren't even canon comic characters, so they didn't have to be killed off like that. Not without having a couple seasons of good portrayal first at least.
Making and introducing gay characters only to kill them off within a season or two isn't representation, it's tokenizing and performative corporate bullshit.
@Winter Soldier Yeah the "one" I was referring to was Aaron, he's still alive, so far at least!
My problem with that writer saying that "House needs to be right all the time" is that they had an opportunity for House to not only be on the side of ace people, but prove that asexuality is real, and they just... couldn't be bothered to do that.
The problem is that they had to combine "House is right all the time" with the fact that House is a toxic asshole...
I swear to god, that show seems written by one of those edgy teenagers who mistake being mean with being smart
@Clap Em
You are right, they don’t!
The thing is, if you write one of these characters as your protagonist, it’s extremely important for your story to eventually tackle the fact that you can’t be a functional human being if you are a toxic piece of shit to everyone you come across.
It’s not even necessary for the character to grow out of this mindset, mind you. They just need to be framed as wrong.
Holmes was a dismissive jerk to Irene Adler. He then got his comeuppance when Adler totally outsmarted him and left.
Cause there’s no such thing as that
@@edgarpuente1985No such thing as you.
Yeah not only that, no one really talks about how asexuality is a spectrum. It's few and far between when the spectrum is talked about but its true. Greysexuality, demisexuality, and asexuality not to mention repulsed asexuality versus neutral asexual people and that's a really small fragment of the list of the asexuality spectrum.
It would’ve fixed so much if the wife was just actually ace instead of lying to protect his feelings. You can still let House be “right” about a medical issue being involved but then also show that people can actually be ace. Bonus: have the couple decide to stay together even after they find out they are an allo/ace pair
They’ve been together for 10 years, there really was no need for the woman to lie. And it felt like an easy cop out.
If you’re together for 10 years, and doing well, getting diagnosed with a tumor should change nothing.
My partner is allo while I’m grey ace. We’ve been together for two years now, but I realized that I was ace as recent as last December. His response? Research! He keeps sending me articles about asexuality to verify their legitimacy, asks me how I’m feeling when we’re together, and even sends me memes.
Nah they did good with this episode
My asexulity is like my autism. I don’t want a cure. That’s my brain you’re talking about fundamentally altering.
Dragoneta Slayer fellow aspie here wazzup 👋🏼
As a fellow ace person with several family members with genetic mental "disorders" (I don't like that word very much because of the negative connotations), I also find it so annoying when people are like "cure autism" or "cure asexuality". There's nothing wrong with us. We're not broken. We don't need fixing. We're just different. Period.
As a fellow autistic ace, aspy specifically, I completely agree.
@@archerestarcher I'm guessing the ace makes the aspie easier? If you're just aspie I can see it being harder. But...I'm not ace, so I guess, I'm stuck with just imagination and empathy.
I'm autistic and I'm not in need of a cure but I'm not at all threatened by the notion that this identity has an aetiology. I'm all for a persuing an physiological account of autism. Yes such an explanation might lead to a "cure", it is incumbent on us to insist and demonstrate that ours is not a defective existence but an autonomous and equal way of being. Sexual drive - and its absense - certainly is explicable in terms of functions of the body, this shouldnt in anyway undermine anyones identity. At least no more than understanding oneself as a contigent explicable being undermines personal identity in general.
I don't get why asexuality is so hard to understand
Everyone understands heterosexuals. They are attracted to ppl of the opposite gender.... But you could also define them by saying they are /Not/ attracted to people of e.g. their own
So the concept of not being attracted shouldn't be foreign.
And extending it to just "having this non-attraction towards everyone" is not a leap either.
Ive always thought its because society can be very sex focused so someone NOT engaging in such a setting is unfathomable. like when people say "you DONT eat steak???" or insisit you have to try/like something they do.
I described it to my mom as having a bunch of switches in your brain. A switch for attraction to males, a switch for attraction to females, and a switch for everyone (because pans are valid too). For me, all the switches are off. I don't know how to represent demi people in that example, so if anyone has a solution, I would love to see it.
@@innohasclay9996 In all your examples, the switches are fixed and can't be flipped. So for demis, they have all the same kinds of switches, but their switches are not fixed and can be flipped. They are usually set to the off position and it takes a lot of force to flip them to on. As soon as that force is not present (they are not around the person who they feel that strongly about) the switch flips itself back to off. It's a stubborn switch.
Heterosexuals are understandable. Most of the time these so-called "asexuals" might actually be heterosexuals or homo or whatever, it is just that they are not feeling any sexual needs at the moments. So no one is truly asexual hence, asexuality is not really a thing.
It’s like
Imagine someone you’re not attracted to
Now imagine you feel that way about everyone
Don't forget the episode with the trans woman that everyone, including House, treats like she's some sort of deceptive monster.
Or the episode where House bullied and misgendered an intersex girl who was being sexually abused by her father. Why did he misgender her? To make her father feel icky for being “gay” and not, you know, sexually abusing his daughter.
Do you mind telling me The episode?
Fernanda Ribeiro Mello I honestly can’t remember. I think it’s in season one.
I'm glad I never watched any of this show. It didn't appeal to me then, and it doesn't appeal to me now.
@@StudlyFudd13 I can honestly say that your thoughts about the show are mine. I'm glad I didn't watch it.
It appears some of the critique-of-your-critique is centered around the idea that House only "disproved" asexuality in one couple, and that's not representative of him "disproving" it for everyone. But that's exactly the point. When your body of work only includes ONE example of a thing, and that thing is shown as bad, evil, or in this case not-valid, you're not left with any reassurance that the writers believe that thing COULD be good or valid. And that blows.
Awesome vid, can't wait to hear from you again
Thanks so much, glad you liked it.
He says that everyone wants sex and doesn't believe otherwise, that's why he want's to find out what's wrong with the couple because asexuality doesn't exist.
@@setrakarcana4920 ugh, I'm allo and I still hate that attitude. If you want to do the nature fallacy route (fallacy being natural =good) the ace traits being protected in nature makes sense the same way there is a lot of gay animals in nature: sometimes having more adults around to care for the babies that exists including the ones whose parents died is far better for the local population than absolutely every one producing their offspring. Not that ace people can't reproduce, but they will be less pressured by their bodies to get into dicey situations that leads to accidental reproduction, they only have to worry about asshole peer pressure.
Woah, cool to see you on an ace vid DaThings! Love your ytps
Even if it did include other ace people in the episode, just the idea of someone "disproving" another person's sexuality is kinda shitty.
It enforces this paternalistic mentality towards LGBTIA people, which is often used as justification for policing us. "Oh, but we need to dictate your sexuality for you, you're too young/disabled/inexperienced to know it yourself".
Erghhhh, not only is this a huge disservice to the Ace community, it also misunderstands what happens to a guy with a tumour crushing the anterior pituitary gland. Libido doesn't drop in isolation, it's accompanied by loss of secondary sexual characteristics, muscle wasting, fatigue, weight loss, visual disturbances, and blinding headaches.
medically inaccurate show being medically inaccurate? no way! house is like one of the least accurate medical dramas so i'm not surprised they'd do that lmao 🥲
Oh fuck I remember watching a thread in the Ace Forums when they discussed the preview before the episode aired. There was interest, curiosity, excitement and a bit of worrying about how they would handle it. Oh God the reaction after the episode aired, it was incredibly sad to see. A comment in particular before the episode aired was "Oh, I hope they do this right. My mom and I both watch House religiously. I came out to her about a year ago and she didn't believe me. If this is done right...I'm excited". I can't imagine how he/she felt
i looked for this comment and searched a bit more and found that this person said this after watching the episode: "Ugh, I'm so glad I saw this before my mom (who doesn't believe in asexuality) saw the episode. I'll have to sneak down and delete it sometime before tomorrow, and then watch it myself online once it's posted. I am angry."
I feel very bad for them :/
Christ that's heart breaking
I read the same forum when I first heard about this episode...it was heart wrenching
i never watched it but i heard about it. my friend is asexual and liked it but then they saw that episode. also *cries in xe/xym*
@ um, as an aro/ace who is sex repulsed, the idea of wanting sex sounds like torture. It disgusts me, and I want no part in it. Not that I'm judging people who do.
In the words of Overly Sarcastic Productions: write what you know, but you can always know more
I love osp. That's great advice.
"I see you are a man of culture as well"
Extra pertinent since Red is ace!
She probably is responsable for me discoviring my assexuality. When i heard that she was...i started thinking about a lot. Until i realizing that a lot of my teenager years confusions was because of my assexuality.
Red is ace
House disproved asexuality and just like that, I have begun fading into the aether, I am losing my form, I am seeping out of reality
Farewell, my friend. You will be missed.
@@mr.goldfish1530
F
Well, your identity is only real on the internet, so might as well...
@@illseeyaonthedarksideofthemoon average Quartening fan desperate for a crumb of female attention
Or even, let House get it half-right: the guy wasn't asexual, but the girl actually is. Then leave the relationship open-ended (they are going to try to get it to work). That way, you show that asexuality exists, and that relationships between different sexualities is possible (although a bit tricky, because of a difference in wants and needs).
Also, this even gives a chance for House and Wilson to bicker / discuss it (House insisting on the money, even though Wilson was right about asexuality existing).
YES! The solution was right in front of them, but they tripped over their dicks and fell before the finish line. Fuck, I hated this episode! I was a newly-out baby ace when it aired, and my parents and I loved this show, so of COOOUUURRRSE we watched this episode together. It made me wanna disappear into the ground like a mole and live there forever 🙃
I don't understand why something being explained physiologically would undermine the identity. He didnt experience sexual desire, he was asexual.
Exactly! That's what I just thought...
@@egodeosum As explained in the video, asexuality is the lack of *attraction,* not the lack of libido.
wait, so "curing" assexuality is not okay but assuming everyone should be okay with open relationships is? feels pretty double standart to me
Lets not forget the time he discovered that a patient was intersex, misgendered her repeatedly thereafter, and then said that her being "manipulative" was a trait of her hyperfemininty caused by her condition. That episode... is about the time I stopped liking House.
People act like being intersex is a illness cuz they don't want to know that there more out there then jus fully male or fully female
@@lord_xylozdoomsday959 I'm hugely fascinated by the intersex community. They're so shrouded in mystery and I mean, just the concept is so mindblowing in a good way. That's how I started disliking Alpha/Omega. Why turn a human basically into an animal and make men give birth when a story about intersex people would be so much more interesting and natural? I mean, smh.
Was that by any chance the one where her dad was having sex with her and then only had a problem with it because she was biologically male? And she was blamed for it because she was ‘manipulative’?
I vaguely remember that as being a house episode
Exactly that one. I remember being uncomfortable with it, not even knowing why- I didn't know much about LGBT+ and intersex people.
@@Jackylification oh god i remember that episode, i'd completely forgotten about it until you described it
“ yOu ArE nOt ✨asexual✨YoU aRe jUsT lOnElY nOw fInD a pArTnEr aNd sHuT uP” I love when they tell me that it’s sarcasm btw
The representation would've been genius when the guy had got his libido back only to reveal that he's still asexual cos he still doesn't feel sexual attraction. That way they could've explained what asexuality actually is to the audience and misconceptions could've been destroyed. Anyways, BoJack Horseman does a way better job and I'm glad that more asexual characters are included in shows
Ooh! That actually sounds like it could be a neat story. I like that sort of thing. Like a tale of hubris. The more confident someone is about being right the more satisfying it is when they turn out to be wrong.
I study bachelors degree in psychology, and on a lecture we were studying hormones' effect on human behaviour and how the lack of estradiol (a type of estrogen) can be the cause low or non-existent libido in female-bodied people. I almost started weeping right then and there when our professor made a very clear point that even though we posses this information, we should never use it to try to "cure" or diagnose other people unsolicitedly because asexuality is valid and a sensitive topic to people. I felt so seen.
"I felt so seen." Yeah, I can imagine!😊 Your professor sounds so nice, and I'm glad they taught that class.
Well it also matters on how the person feels like me I for one don't feel comfortable with sex because of trauma and then two I lack estradiol so I am asexual...
@@FREEPALESTINE_0_ Yes exactly! I'm sorry that you've had to go through that, hopefully you've been able to heal and live your life the way that makes you happy♡ It's so important to discuss that asexuality can have multiple different reasons behind it and all of them are equally valid. I myself have average hormone levels and I have never experienced any trauma relating to sex, just goes to show that you shouldn't make assumptions and diagnoses about people based on their asexuality.
@@Quile99 yes! And I am doing great and I have been healing! But yes you should not assume that all asexuals are broken and they are not healthy but really it's just some people don't feel comfortable doing anything like it and it's wrong to assume that a asexual has trauma!
genuinely curious, but as an acearo spec, I still find it to be a bit odd because I know my libido is high asf and I enjoy the concept of s*x itself, but I don't have any desire to do it with anyone in specific (maybe at most, my partner on occasion, but it's repulsive with everyone else), I can't even imagine being with some random person or even finding them "hot". In this sort of sense, do I lack that type or estrogen or not? (considering that I feel like I have an excess of that in terms of action, but too lacking in terms of attraction, even when I used to try and convince myself that I "can be allo")
Thank you for saying ace people can have romantic relationships. I am an Ace female and I have a bi-sexual genderfluid partner and we enjoy a complete romantic non-sexual relationship for nearly year now. Sexual attraction isn't needed for a relationship to be valid
@landaclay9331 you chose to say this three years after the comment was posted?
This is even more fictitious than the Dr House tv show, at least make up a cool fantasy instead of being a loser's cuckhold...
I remember watching one episode where a 15 year old girl has Androgen insensitivity syndrome and when House diagnoses her he starts referring to her as a boy simply because she was born with XY chromosomes
This episode unintentionally proved trans as legitimate in many ways, but they were also such pricks in handling if it. One, she was assigned female at birth, and despite her chromosomes, she was happy as a girl. When she found out she had xy chromosomes, she felt great distress about the idea of being a boy bc she is actually a girl despite chromosomes. So she ended up being assigned the correct gender at birth, and when they tried to match her identity to xy chromosomes, she experienced pain in being misgendered.
But they fucked up the narrative by framing her gender identity as wrong or a lie. And they also were sexist bc manipulation was part of her illness from female hormones and she even stripped naked to prove she was a girl. Like this whole thing was not handled sensitively, even in their own narrative they treated her like shit, bc house didn't avert his eyes or encourage her to cover up, he just looked surprised and oogled her.
I love House but that was one of many episodes that pissed me off
I was just about to talk about it, isn't that transphobic? If she identities as a woman then she is a woman!
SLYKM That's House's character. His whole demeanor is the complete opposite of an ideal doctor, but he's also a genius. He's a prick, and even the other doctors don't like him while also respecting his mind. House also deliberately riles up his patients and associates to patients to find information about them ie finding out family relationships. House is not a good person, from his abrasive demeanor to his bigotry. Like, it feels good when House actually does get things wrong, it shows that he's not always in the right.
@@aienbalosaienbalos4186 Actually, feeling like a woman or a men is something that exist, you see, it has been proven that the brain of a woman and the brain of a male are different, and sometimes a brain more femenine is in a masculine body. And the "feelings" part is what creates gender disforia which is the thing that makes, for example, mtf people to feel extremely disconfort with their sex, is not thinking that your live will be better if you're sex is different, but to feel a disconection between what you feel and you're body (also sorry if I make some mistakes, english is not my first lenguage)
I've noticed that in more than a few films, Asexuality/Aromanticism became the thing to "cure".
The actual term of Asexual/Aromantic wouldn't be used, but one character would be disinterested in a relationship or something like that, this would usually be presented as a bad thing, and then another character would come along and be that special person to give the first character their "sexual awakening".
This usually came along with the trope of "I'm going to stalk and bother you until you fall in love with me".
I guess they would be demisexuale than.
though it is dangerous, I'm demisexuale and the first time I felt sexual attraction to someone, I did believe he "cured me" from my Asexuality, it can get you into vary abusive relationships vary easily.
I know, it's so annoying. The same thing happens when a character (usually female) doesn't want to be in a relationship and ends up 'learning their lesson', even if nothing else changed
This happens in Six Feet Under, except the character is still ace at the end and perfectly secure in the fact that he's ace and him and the stalker break up. It's a little iffy because it's unclear whether you're supposed to side with the stalker (and think the ace guy is a weirdo) or the ace guy (and think the stalker is creepy and unreasonable). You also have a gay character saying he thinks aces are actually secretly gay (and says the same about bi people), although once again it's a bit iffy because it's implied this gay character is insecure about all of the women he's slept with so he's always accusing people of being secretly gay.
It's not the best representation, but it's still better than I expected for being a show airing around the same time as House. Also the ace guy is played by Rainn Wilson, and he's great in everything.
awww, yes, I was always salty about Seven-of-Nine from Voyager not being consequently ace. Everybody around her is trying to convince her that having sex is part of the human condition bla bla bla instead of trying to figure out what SHE wants
have you just described sheldon cooper from the big bang theory?
Sex isn't love.
All I have to say.
Be proud of yourself my fellow aces! Homoromantic, Biromantic, Aromantic, Heteroromantic, Panromantic, Polyamorous, whatever your attraction you count as ace and you are valid! I repeat: YOU. ARE. VALID.
It's called LGBTQIA+
The plus adds the many more letters in the acronym. Aspectrum counts and deserves representation!
Edit: Asexual and Aromantic are umbrella terms, there are many different variations of them. You are all valid and deserving of love; whether it's romantic or platonic, it's still love.
"Love is love is love is love is love is love"
- Lin Manuel Miranda
'Sex isn't love'
You sure you're mentally okay?
@@iamerror6546 its not tho? whats your point
@@no1uno388 I don't think that blanket statement is very helpful, sex means something different to each individual. Obviously, sex isn't EVERYTHING, but to say it isn't love is pretty rude. For me, sex is PART of love, part of how you show intimacy and affection alongside everything else. For some, they could take it or leave it. For others, they don't want it. It just depends on what you want in a relationship. It's not wrong to find sex important since we all have different needs to be met, so long as we don't push it on others or invalidate them for not viewing it the same way. I genuinely hope that helps since that other person didn't respond to you very kindly.
@@xobunnyfangsxo *For me, sex is PART of love*
Well, not for the modern world. The modern world treats sex as anoter need you have to satisfy with anyone, anytime you want, and without consequences.
@@Simba436 As I said, it means something different to each person. It's valid if someone views it casually like that, as long as they don't shame others for not viewing it that way. I'm not talking about the modern world here.
Hous MD did this a couple of times. There was a really disgusting b plot in one episode with a trans character. She was played by a man, House and everyone else constantly referred to her with "he/him" pronouns, and instead of using her name he just called her "the transvestite".
Not a very good show in terms of representation.
I'm guessing you're referring to the episode 'Skin Deep'? That was... pretty embarrassing.
Then she turned out to be intersex. That, at least, wasn't mocked.
@@DrGregoryHouseIT I think you're mistaken. The intersex person in Skin Deep was played by a woman, Cameron Richardson. They were only revealed as intersex right at the end. House was offensive about it, mostly using it to spark homophobia in the father who had been sexually abusing them at the expense of the victim, his actual patient. I'm not sure how that's not mocking.
@@DrGregoryHouseIT I'm actually not talking about skin deep. Just rewatched it and it's not the one.
ad wow you’re so original. I bow down to you, you amazing asshole. If only I (and many other people) knew my body better than an idiot on the internet 🙄
ad Twat: 1. A person regarded as stupid or obnoxious. 2. A woman’s genitals.
Being so excited that someone just acknowledged asexuals that you tweet about it is honestly such a mood
What can I say? I'm easily pleased.
Also hi Grace, I love your videos 😳
@@DavidJBradley Haha, thank you!
I know, if anyone even mentions asexuality in passing I do a little dance.
As a demisexual, it really lifts my spirits (especially during the pandemic) that you also wear a black ring on your middle right finger. It makes me feel less alone, considering one time I told my therapist I was asexual and he said "that doesn't exist" and I had to explain to an older guy that it in fact it IS real and I'm a person who is experiencing it, even if it's a subcategory of asexuality. Anyway, thank you for making this video :')
I'm demisexual, too!
What does it mean to be demisexual?
@@The_Rat_Qu3n3 You do not feel sexual attraction to people you don't know well and feel no emotional or romantic bond with
@@mrpickles-hb6zx Keep being phobic somewhere else. It's not the way everyone is. Allo people feel the attraction even to people they are not close with, and even if they dont want to act on this attraction. Demisexuals do not, and it overshadows also their disinterest in hookup culture and such.
@@eiserneskreuz8408Ok it's not your responsibility to explain, but I thought I'd ask if you're willing. What is non demisexual vs demisexual, like what's "normal" and what's different from that in demisexuals? Also do you think demisexuals are rare compared to that "normal"?
I remember when I came out as Ace to someone in my life and they used this very episode to tell me that Asexuality isn't real and ngl this show has kind of sickened me ever since
It's a TV show with a laughably bad medical practice shown. If that is their source for such information I weep for the future.
@@HermitKing731 wtf? : |
@@HermitKing731 well..I hope you let go of your internalised acephobia.
@@HermitKing731 can we swap i'm literally the opposite of you omg and it scares me. bro i'd love to be asexual cuz with society so focused on sex i literally cannot be comfortable feeling sexual attraction without feeling like people are watching me every single second! i literally feel like being asexual would be amazing because i could just NOT feel sexual attraction and not care abt whatever society thinks. that's why whenever i call something "sexy" i feel gross inside and just stay with calling things "beautiful" instead cuz it's less about wanting to fuck things and society watching you, but rather because beauty is versatile and makes me think of something more than just goddamn sex!
@@HermitKing731 the fuck are you saying lol
I literally had a tumor on my pituitary that affected all of my hormones.... still ace..
Can I ask what symptoms you had? I'm actually a little suspicious I may have something like this.
@Kelly linze old man what do you mean?
@@gallerinafromverdantisland1457 I had migraines daily, always sleeping, gained over 100 pounds, my menstrual cycle stopped completely, affected my mental health, etc
@person person honestly I'm not sure! for me it resulted in having to take replacement hormones and hgh replacement. it made me basically regress to before puberty and then I went through menopause. they said I probably had it my whole life so
@person person oh wow, definitely not for me I'm barely 5" 3
It took me ages to find out I was asexual because of how underrepresented and misrepresented it is, you can still be sexual and not attracted to anyone, you can be attracted to people but not in a sexual manner, it's more complex than simply just not being attracted to either gender
I've identified as asexual for almost over a year now and when I told my mother her first question was "is it a hormone issue?" And I had to say "no its definitely not that" and she never really understood it and never asked anything about it. And whenever I mention I get looks that basically "oh yeah, sure you are" and what really hurt for me was when I started dating a girl back in January I told her straight up that I was asexual and her response was a mix of supportive but also mixed with a "oh I can fix that" mentality, which I think she never really got over as she was always trying to get me aroused as she (and I'm paraphrasing but still pretty much what she said) "has never been more turned on by a partner then with me" which put this like massive pressure on my shoulders like I almost had to be sexual in the relationship to a point where I thought I'd just go get viagra or something just so I could make her happy. It wasnt until early June when i decided all the pressure wasnt worth it and then broke up with her
If anybody is ever making you feel uncomfortable, please have a chat with them. If they don't agree with you being asexual or just her wanting it and you not, I recommend sorting something out. Breaking up is always the easiest way though, no pressure amigo 😼 also I'm sorry you had to feel that way, you're strong
@@xyellowcoffeexfatrat7923 thanks, but it wasn't just the pressure to preform, there were a ton of fights that basically ended in me just defending things that I really shouldn't have needed to, by the end there was just too much fighting and I was just mentally, emotionally, and physically, tired of it all
that's literally rape culture to a tee. if the genders were reversed in your situation, people would see that clearly. acephobia is always steeped in rape culture, ideas of purity and procreative duty from living in a christian society, and amoronormativity-and it's bad for everyone. the worst is when they're actually more into you because they fetishize you aceness as being 'pure', a challenge for them to overcome. a lot of people with sexual trauma who deal with it by becoming pseudo-predatory themselves (continuing the cycle) are attracted to me in this way- but they write it off as 'finally becoming sexually free' and that i'm slut shaming them.
“Oh but maybe you haven’t met the right person yet!” Actually enrages me to no end
I missread this and thought you were dating your mum
My own doctor had never heard of asexuality and tried to say "when you become sexually active." I haven't gone back to her since.
I had a similar problem when I went for a well-woman so I could get birth control (partially for hormonal migraines and partially because on occasion I am sexually active) and when I explained I’m asexual to my doctor she ignored what I was saying and left the room so I would “have a moment to say goodbye to my virginity, and collect myself before ‘it’ happened” 🙄
Oh, and the kicker was she didn’t want to give me a prescription for birth control because at the time I hadn’t been sexually active and she said I shouldn’t take any until I have been???? Like that’s LITERALLY terrible advice. “Roll the dice once before you protect yourself. 🤷🏼♀️”
Something similar has happened to me but under different circumstances. It was kinda traumatic.
@@averyemlholy shit that woman should not be a doctor
Damn, a doctor said something that applies in almost all cases. What a bitch.
This is why hospitals should only hire soothsayers.
When I was going to my therapist she didn't want to believe my asexuality when I came out to her at the age of 14 because I was "probably a late bloomer"
I am 19, almost 20 and I still identify as ace and I brought it up to her
Her response? She believes I was sexually assaulted by someone in my family when I was a child thus this damaging my psyche and my growing up process and how I view sex and that she will try to continue our therapy until I will feel comfortable enough to "tell her the whole story"
I am looking for a new therapist currently lmao
House also has an episode where he is blatantly transphobic and intersexphobic (sorry if that’s not the right term!). I can’t remember the episode number or season, but he finds out a girl is intersex and starts misgendering her, calling her he and saying everything one who is attracted to her is gay (it’s also a really creepy sexualisation of a minor) even when she is literally in tears saying that she is a girl. It’s horrible to watch
wow
and people recommended this show to me
@@sydssolanumsamsys
I can’t tell if your username I’d pro-communism or anti-communism. If you can, could you please tell me?
@@l-3832 i am a socialist with a self-deprecating sense of humour
@@sydssolanumsamsys aren't we all 😂😂
I'm glad I've never watched it...
It would have been so easy for the show to just cure his tumor, maybe he would get his libido back (depending on when the tumor arrived he might have had some before), him still identifying as asexual in the cultural sense as he would still have no sexual attraction. And his wife also still being ace.
Or even have a reversed situation. Someone come to a consultation because they have no sex drive and think they are sick. Letting House finding the person is in fact asexual and that nothing is wrong with them.
I think it could've been interesting if the husband's tumor was removed, he was seemingly cured, but he still felt no sexual attraction and proved House wrong
That's why I prefer Black Jack. He's like japanese House, a genious unlicensed surgeon who once operated on a falling airplane. And I identify with him as an asexual person. He isn't officially anything, but in the fandom everyone agrees he is asexual. Oh and he's also quite less of an asshole.
Sounds cool, tell me more about that
Black Jack is an awesome series! Probably more like the precedent for House depending on the writer’s inspirations as they have parallels (geniuses with unpleasant personalities, horrible injury leaving them disabled or disfigured). However I tend to find Black Jack to be a much more likable person despite his rude tendencies lol. I never really thought about it but I suppose I identify with him more than I thought with his interests in medicine and general disinterest in finding a partner suggesting asexuality
@@javelinnia3203 Well it's a manga by Osamu Tezuka, the guy who made Astro boy. It later got adapted into multiple anime series. I watched the tv version in Crunchyroll back in the day, maybe it's still there. The OVAs just got added to retrocrush. I suggest starting with the tv version if you can.
There is one chapter of a manga that is really iffy, though, and I dunno if it can be passed as a product of its time...
Spoiler:
A woman needs to get rid of her uterus due to health complications and Black Jack straight up tells her she'll stop being a woman because of that before asks her again if she's ready for the procedure. And after that she just changes her gender, I guess and assumes the role of man.
Oh, and they were attracted to each other, but it went nowhere after the girl disappears and, uhhh, stops "being a woman" and then reappears again.
I looove Black Jack, specially Young Black Jack 💙💙
I spent several years trying to figure out what was ‘wrong’ with me. Honestly I just assumed all my friends were abnormally horny instead of me being notably not horny.
Then there was that episode where a woman was punished for wanting an open relationship by mysteriously contracting a dangerous STD that nearly kills her.
Or that time a fat person was ridiculed for *shock* liking food and sex and then just gets freaking lung cancer for no reason.
This series has plenty of yikes episodes
I always viewed the episode with the fat man as a critique of the medical system as a whole; the fact that these doctors were so convinced that his health problems _had_ to be related to his weight that it never even occured to them to run other tests. He might never have had his cancer diagnosed because so many doctors are prejudiced assholes, a frighteningly common reality.
The episode about George didn't make fun of him at all, the whole point was that making fun of him was wrong
Silburific 17 this can weirdly happen to pregnant women, too, sometimes. I had a friend’s mom who nearly died because doctors ignored her saying she didn’t feel right compared to her previous pregnancies. while I understand trying to reassure someone who likely is simply suffering the effects of pregnancy, they should still be aware that it could be something far worse.
but what do I know
I actually quite liked the ending with the fat guy because the entire episode they're blaming his condition on his weight, but when it's revealed he has lung cancer he says "I've never smoked in my life..."
It just further drives home the idea that most people can accept a non smoker with cancer, but a healthy overweight person is nonsensical.
It was the first time I'd ever felt seen tbh. I just wish they would have addressed Chase's gross attitude a bit better. He learns nothing.
@@pheonixrises11 It happens to women all the time. Doctors are literally taught not to take pain complaints from women (or people of color) seriously because women be exaggerating, amirite? So many women have severe endomitriosis undiagnosed for so long because medicine is and always has been a male-oriented field. You'd think in the year 20xx, when a woman says her period is so painful she vomits that a doctor might think "well, that's not right- better check you out", but NOPE! "Lots of women have painful periods". Yeah, dipshit- something's wrong with them too!
“I said the writer’s name wrong for the entire video” well she got our orientation wrong for an entire episode of a critically-acclaimed full-length TV show, so 🙃
@some rando don’t want to sound mean but from my understanding she was trying to spread awareness and it wasnt her decision to include the part where house “disproves” asexuality
@@pixelsoda okay, but if that is the case, then whoever did decide for House to 'disprove' asexual made any attempts at spreading awareness null and void. Because people who say asexual isn't real will use House's point of view to try and 'prove' their point.
Laura James oh i’m not saying the episode isn’t offensive or bad because it is and it really misrepresents ace ppl, i’m just saying that it’s not that specific writers fault for it being that way, it seems like she was really frustrated with the team for spinning her concept into what it became.
@@pixelsoda oh, I understand that. It just seems really irritating that the rest of the writing team decided to devalue her attempts at spreading awareness by implementing the societal belief of asexuality not being real.
Dang disproving someone's non-hetero sexuality on a tv show? They keep slapping the same sticker over more sexualities, homophobes did the same thing with gay characters.
“If it doesn’t apply to them directly, it surely cannot be real.”
I am shook. As a bisexual, this is exactly why people think that I have to ‘pick a side’... but equally it’s symptomatic of a problem within the bisexual community where we assume that everyone is some shade of bi because that’s the way we see things. Interesting.
But sorry. Ace people are valid and beautiful people.
God, that flag analogy. *chef's kiss*
That feast analogy. Two chef's kisses
Honestly, i hate all the little misinformation about asexuality, because when i finally felt comfortable coming out, I got told that it didn't matter and didn't need to be brought up ever, because I'm married. I just discovered your videos, and i like how calmly you dissect things, and it's great to see more people that feel like me.
If you married at that point it really doesnt matter
@@videogamebomer BEGONE, APHOBE.
@@videogamebomer
Yes it does. I see no reason for it not too. Marriage doesn’t suddenly take away your sexuality or make it unimportant or something that’s just stupid.
I was 15 years old back when this aired and just had found my identity as ace and told it to all my close friends and family. The only good thing about this episode was that it prepared me to the exact same reaction last year, when I went to the trans clinic. ''Are you sure you want testosterone, as many who identify as asexual, later get partners?'' To this day, I really don't get how those two statements contradict.
I've read multiple times that people find it creepy that they develop sexual attraction or ... urges when on T. (and a decrease when on E)
Which can be scary, weird or (if still ace) unfortunate.
@@leporid257 libido =/= sexual attraction though
@@leporid257 Hormones don't affect most asexual people because hormones are not the source of their asexuality. Asexual people simply don't have sexual-desire the same as homosexual, bi-sexual, or heterosexual are just that and nothings going to change that. Hormones isn't going to give that sexual desire. Basically, you pulled a house in that comment and said injecting hormones can potentially fade-away to some extent asexuality. "they develop sexual attraction or ... urges when on T. (and a decrease when on E)" ---- this is saying you can become asexual if you switch to E and you can leave asexuality if you switch to T which by your own admission "can be scary, weird or (if still ace) unfortunate".
If you take away a persons sex-drive you're not taking away their desire for sex. So if someone takes E, yes, they have a decent chance at losing all of their sexual drive and potentially develop inability to have sex...... However..... the important thing to note here is they're still sexual beings so they miss sex. They talk about missing it, they feel inadequate, they look for ways to bring sex and desire for sex back into their life. .... So they never became asexual. It's the same reason guys with ED or Low T looks for supplements to make their sex life healthy again. Sexual people never lose their desire for sex even if you remove their sex drive and hormones and ability to have sex. Conversely this means asexual people never become sexual and there's no way to give an asexual person desires or cravings for sex. They would be perfectly happy never having sex no matter what hormones they have in their body. Also asexual people can have sex, they just don't care about it and often it's of no interest to them.
Asexual people can have desire without having attraction. Those are not the same thing.
@@junehanabi1756 Actually when hormones take away my sex drive I lose all desire for sex. There are medical issues and things like birth control that can take away even romantic attraction. I have always wondered how someone would be able to tell the difference between a medical cause of no sexual desire and asexuality. As I am not asexual I have no idea how those experiences differ.
Love that because I'm watching videos about asexuality, UA-cam is now giving me ads for a webinar to "fix my intimacy issues" if I have "messed up hormone levels or trouble connecting with my partner".... As if my years of research, changing medication, crying and thinking I'm "broken" weren't enough for me to now know that I've always felt this way I'm actually not some libido-poor medical anomaly, I'm just ace.
Thanks UA-cam, great targeted advertising choices
"There had to be a mystery for House to solve and he had to be right."
Was the idea of him just... turning out to be wrong and this being a learning experience for him just not on the table? Was the show truly so dedicated to having its protagonist come out on top *every single time?*
there are moments that he lost, this is was certainly not one of those
I think it would be more in character for House that even when proven that he doesn`t know everything, he can`t bare to admit to anyone else he was wrong, even though he knows he was.
Wilson: "Well House. For once, you were wrong. But don`t take it so hard, everybody`s wrong sometimes."
House: "This never happened, and if you tell anyone I`ll piss on your coffee every morning."
House walks away.
Wilson: "Such a sore loser."
I think it would have worked a little better if like he "figured out what was wrong " with the husband but kept the wife be ace. Could end with House being annoyed and arguing with his buddy who actually won the bet.
I used to love House, and I recently rewatched it and played the Nintendo game, and it's awful in handling a LOT of topics - gender identity, most mental health (calling people crazy and nuts in a vague way and restating that mental health has no effect on medical health time and time again), eating disorders, sexual orientation, non-straight or non-monogynous couples, ect. All handled horribly.
There's a House Nintendo game?? What system? How bad is it?
that is house for you and that is why he is fun and amazing
@@dinuxplay8003"fun and amazing" is great until it starts having real world conveniences. Especially on topics that are already taboo like sexuality and gender. Some people will look at what house is doing as gospel, and use it as fuel to say they know better than people who are LGBTQ+
And then the community has to take time to unravel those misconceptions, and the stigma it adds will never be completely undone. So yeah, not as "fun and amazing" if you're on the other side of it.
@@ryanmackenzie6109 that applies to anything that is fun and amazing. It certainly is no gospel but truth has fun in it too. LGBT community trying to unravel misconception? Lmfao. More like enforce em. Regardless point is you shouldn't take it to heart. That is what I meant by "fun and amazing". It always feels good to be on the other side when you are winning only.
@@dinuxplay8003 Not everything fun and amazing has to hurt minorities. But I've got a feeling you don't believe it's fun at all if it's not actively hurting someone, with that jab at the community. I'll stop taking shit to heart when other people grow a heart and stop actively trying to put others down. I hope you'll learn some empathy before reality humbles you into it.
I was a young teen when I first saw this episode. I watched it with my mom and I felt very iffy about the episode 'disproving' asexuality, so I mentioned my discomfort with that theme out loud. My mom told me she doesn't believe in asexuality.
Years later, I'm afraid to come out as ace to her because I absolutely don't want to go through the ordeal of trying to validate my identity, and every time the subject of relationships or attraction comes up, I remember this episode of house and have a viscerally uncomfortable reaction that leaves me off-kilter for hours. So. Yeah. Maybe if media didn't treat my orientation as a joke and represent it completely wrongly, I wouldn't have struggled for years to come to terms with it. IDK that may be just me \:
Edit: this isn't meant as an attack on the idea you expressed towards the end of the video! Merely my past experience, and kind of me realising why I've come to consider diverse representation to be so important.
I feel like that was the point I was making. I firmly believe that we need good, thoughtful representation of all marginalised groups because of the positives it can have.
And coming out is hard to do. Can't offer much advice there beyond only do it where you feel safe doing it.
Today I saw this video in my recommended so I decided I’d watch it later. I told my mom about it and she said that there was a reason for it because it’s house. Needless to say I’m very deep in the closet.
Mentally Unstable umm tv shows aren’t reality
Being intimidated by her not believing in it is understandable. You're allowed to only share your identity with those you feel safe and accepted by. It's unfortunate to not be able to trust someone close to you with something so personal, and I hope you find a way to bridge the gap.
Maybe try framing the idea from a perspective they can grasp, not even necessarily using sex. It could be any activity that's popular or considered the 'norm' that they don't feel an urge to participate in. I've seen some people successfully explain Ace using other sexualities, something like: You're not attracted to X, right? I'm like that, but for all options.
Note: Both my partner and I fall in the asexual spectrum, but only recently learned the words to describe and identify that. Neither of us have felt a need to explain ourselves to others; because, we are who we are, and getting the proper label didn't change anything.
You are great as you are. You don't need to come out if you don't feel it's safe for you or it's too difficult right now. You know yourself, that means you can build on that, and better help others who may need your understanding too.
I don't get why it's such a big deal. Just say you're asexual and call her a primitive monkey for liking that disgusting shite. It's not a thing you need to come out as. It's a thing you just tell people you are.
I'm asexual, and I literally wouldn't care if I was in a relationship with someone who wasn't asexual. The only thing I'd care about, is for the other person in the relationship to respect that I have no sexual desire or attraction. I'm also sick of people saying we aren't LGBT. We are. We do not feel sexual attraction.
from a proud bi , ya'll are valid af , and we love you ! also aces and bi's are probably the two sexual identities that get the " its just a phase" the most , so i feel you ! stay proud !
I'm an ace (though more on the grey end) in a relationship with an allo though I'm sex positive I have discussed with them that sometimes I just don't feel comfortable with sex. He 100% respects that and I'm so glad
As a fellow member of the LGBTQIA+ community, you are part of it and so very loved and welcome. (One of us, one of us!) I think asexuals have to face some of the most ignorance and hate out of all of the groups of the LGBTQIA+ community.
@@tyrennosaur oh defenitely.. the things people say are so annoying.. like on top of being ace i have ADHD and autism.. imagine having social anxiety trough the roof and people making comments about UGH YOU JUST NEED THIS OR UGH YOU JUST HAVEN'T FOUND THE RIGHT PERSON.. all bullcrap and it angers me to a point where i want to smack them and yell at them but my social anxiety causes me to just completely stay mute because selective mutism is a bitch.. like sometimes i wish i wasn't ace just because of these comments.. like my country is pretty accepting when it comes to sexuality but there are still some short sightes sons of bitches out there that just can't and won't understand
I thought I was asexual, and tough in my case, years have proven me wrong. In those years I learned a lot about asexuality and the asexual spectrum (because my reaction to being or having something is always to research). And I have a lot of respect for the ace community. If my partner was asexual I would never try to change them, or pressure them, because hey, it’s not that big of a deal.
How hard is it for people to not insult being ace like bro, they just vibing
Well... I'm not Asexual, but I understand "it's sort of like I'm surrounded with huge feast with everything I could want to eat but... I'm not hungry".
The number of times I (a young, athletic college student) have been told on the internet that the only reason I'm ace is probably because I'm unhealthy which lowers my libido is staggering
@@antalkalous9604 I've heard people say that. It's probably because of the false belief that plant based products increase estrogen in the body, which it doesn't, and people assume that lowers sex drive in AMAB people.
I literly freek out when any creator mentions asexuality in a positive light. It makes me feel so validated.
If people wouldn't think it was weird, I'd write all of the characters in my novel as ace. Honestly, so sick of stories getting sidetracked by "romantic" aka lustful b-plots. Or it just becomes the a-plot. I dare most writers to write a novel/script with no sex or romance. Most wouldn't be able to come up with a story. I'm not aromantic personally, but I sure am sick of it taking over every story. I actually have to work hard to remember to add non-ace orientations to my characters because I just don't care, lol. It's actually made me feel at odds with most writers who start with "sex" and add a story later
Validation is like drugs, try to feel good about yourself without external stimuli
@@martlettoo, so I'm not alone seeing this issue in literature. They add romantic storyline where it needed and don't needed. To show how annoying it can get I'll compare it to potatoes being added in all the dishes you consume: Meat with potato, soup with potato, ice cream....also with potato, glass of water...with potato slice floating in it 😂
@@kelpermoon23 I write them that way because **I** am ace, and that's what comes naturally. I care about a fascinating, complex character with many challenges, so that's what I spend my time on. Not imagining a fictional love life. Like I said, I have to remind myself that some of these characters would be intimate, but I don't start with hot and bothered people and then cram them into a plot structure. I don't write them like that to relatable or not relatable, I write them ace because I'm busy telling an actual story, not narrating someone else's tingly feelings that add nothing to a plot, and usually detract from it. I think people forget that many, many people have done amazing, dangerous, crazy things without stopping to drool over each other every five minutes. Turns out one could, say, fight an entire war without ever ending up in a love triangle. Just seems like most authors and readers have forgotten there's more to life. Besides, I have many characters in loving romantic relationships as well as loving non-romantic relationships. But their dating problems and private time aren't the story, because I actually came up with a plot that's more than x number of people being indecisive about who they want to sleep with.
@@kelpermoon23 Also, you need educate yourself about ace people, and really the world at large, because sex and love are not the same thing. Being asexual does not have ANYTHING to do with not loving anyone. I never said I didn't have love in my story, now did I? It doesn't even necessarily have anything to do with hating sex or never having sex. Where did I say sex was bad or unimportant? What I said was, in essence, that it would be nice if not every story had pointless romance and list shoe horned in where it adds nothing to, or actively detracts from, the plot. Seriously, so many shows and books (YA books and shows especially) have gotten so out of control they literally don't have a plot beyond essentially just erotica. If people want to fool themselves into thinking they're reading anything more than that, fine, but if you want an actual story, look for the ace writers
Recently discovered I’m ace, and this video is all around great!! And boy I LOVE that you used Ninja Sex Party as an example of no reason arousal lmao
I like to think I am the first video essayist to realise the academic potential of No Reason Boner.
Also I hope no-one likes coleslaw that much
@@DavidJBradley I knew someone that liked coleslaw a lot, and I do wonder about them.
NSP inadvertently wrote an ace anthem. 😄
Random note: I don't like coleslaw I think it's gross 😶
If the writer meant to introduce asexuality as a valid orientation, why was the wife lying?
This episode was my first experience with asexuality and as I grew up I genuinely thought that all I needed was the correct medication to be normal. I also still have lingering shame over subjecting someone to a non-sexual relationship.
that's horrible, I'm so sorry
when I saw the episode I was just grateful that I knew enough about asexuality by then to see it was wrong, but I knew that it was such a misunderstood topic that blatant misrepresentation like this would be harmful and it's so unfortunate you and others got hurt by it
I remember stumbling across this episode when my younger stepsister was binging her DVD collection of the series. I couldn’t not yell at the bet. I’m an asexual nursing student. Low libido is only a symptom of something if it’s a deviation from the baseline-ten years of an ace relationship is not a deviation from the baseline.
My stepsister had to kick me out of the living room because I wouldn’t shut up about it.
I had considered watching House a couple years ago, around the same time I realised I was asexual. Of course, before I could watch the show, I started researching asexuality and came across this episode of House. As much as I hate completely disregarding an entire show over one episode, I just can’t ever bring myself to watch it now because of this. I’ve met someone in my life (pretty uneducated) who believed wholly that I would ‘grow out of it’. Of course, I didn’t and I’m still a proud asexual. Really enjoyed this video, and I think your views on the episode were pretty insightful.
Hi. Biromantic gray-ace here. I used to refer to myself as ace but then I discoverd the term gray-ace and I relate to it more. Anyways, that only happened a year or so ago and before that I actually met someone who was trying to convice me that 'ace People are just people who never had sex or have never had GOOD sex. Once you have it, or at least try to masturbate, you'll want it and will have sexual attraction to people."
To this day I regret never saying to that person 'well, then straight People are just people who never had sex or never had GOOD sex with people of the same gender.' Because that is the logic they seem to be operating on.
The reason why I swiched to gray-ace is I DO feel SOME sexual attraction but it's very, very rare and mild.
Don't worry it's not just one bad episode. He is an awful person who regularly treats people like complete shit for no reason and the narrative of the show is that he is never ever wrong. So yeah. There's episodes on trans people, intersex people, rape victims, and more. These people are treated like shit, and everything he says is considered absolutely true but just rude to say to their face.
Kya B But he has been didproven multiple times by his coworkers. It's not often, but when it does happen it's pretty satisfying when House doesn't get his daily ego boost.
@@kyab2815 Its almost like the premise of the show is he is an asshole that get results are you gonma tell us the sky is bule too
Honestly I have a hard time watching House anyway, even if you disregard the problematic ways the show tries to represent LGBT individuals. I just don't enjoy shows with asshole main characters, and also I'm just one of those people that can't stand realistic-looking blood and organs like House or any other medical show go for. I just get grossed out.
I actually hate House! I have a rare chronic genetic condition (EDS) and it’s vastly misunderstood and even most medical professionals don’t have a clue. An episode of House featured EDS where we were portrayed as solely hoarding agoraphobics who can have recurrent miscarriages. It isn’t a psychological condition (nothing wrong if it was and there are many of us with poor mental health and there might be a link with ASD) My community was outraged. The primary features of EDS are frequent joint subluxions and dislocations, pain, fatigue, gastro issues, postural or this tactic intolerances and MCAS and that’s just scratching the surface. I would be happy if House disappeared entirely only being remembered when discussing the Mandela effect. For a better rep of Eds greys did it, series 13 episode 4!
Oh my god YES! I have Hypermobility, with a ton of symptoms super reminiscent of hEDS, and have subsequently done a ton of research on both of them. The EDS episode had me *seething*. Like “oh you had a miscarriage? You have vEDS!* like NO, THATS NOT HOW THAT WORKS WTF
Fantastic video mate. We need more people making content about our comunity x
Thanks, Alice. And yes, more Ace content!
Just because he has a low labido or ed doesn’t mean he actually finds people sexually attractive, those things don’t change how your mind works. Just depressing that this was viewed by so many who will take that on whether consciously or unconsciously
"You can imagine how excited I was about Florence"
Dante Alighieri: "Can't relate"
As an italian i can relate to the comment
I feel like the not-really-ace couple needs their own Lifetime movie. The poor guy has a tumor and his wife has been lying to him for years, and the show treats that like it’s a happy ending for them. It’s just the beginning of their movie about how they deal with all of those changes.
My ex friend I thought I could trust told me to go see a doctor when I told them I'm asexual.
oof
hey , you are valid ! people are wicked some times , but that doesn't have to do with you ! don't ever feel like you are not valid cause you are! be proud of who you are !
youll meet better people , that's a promise
@@marsimane259 Thank you.
@@JadeDRail don't mention it !
@@wyntertheicewyvern6226 Thank you for that.
I always love when people say *everyone* experiences something, like sexual attraction, like sure buddy, over 7 billion people definitely have the same lived experience, that makes sense statistically lmao
When I saw the aromantic flag and the asexual flag at the same time I screeched in happiness
“...staring at the blinking cursor on a blank Word document while eating their third sleeve of depression Oreos”. MOOD
That's why Todd is basically my favourite Ace representation. He was already my favourite character in Bojack Horseman because of his dumb ideas and he was very funny, but then he realized to be ace and I loved him even more because I relate to him and it's thanks to him I discovered my own asexuality. I think it just feels natural and I love it. Also, I never expected Spongebob to be Ace as well, but I think it fits his character and seeing one of the biggest names in cartoon history being an ace icon it just felt heartwarming to me after this
Another good thing about Todd is that he's not a cold and unemotional asshole genius like many other ace characters you see on tv or other kinds of media
@@phoney2627 Yeah. I think the choice of making him not only basically the comedic relief, but also one of the very few characters in Bojack to not be a dick is great
I'm ace too. I feel like it's even harder for men, because of how rare it is for us. I wish people would stop trying to "fix" us.
I remember seeing that episode when it aired. I'd known I was ace for a few years, since 2005, and House was my "popcorn" tv show I would have on in the background while writing my uni essays. But this episode popped up and I put everything down; it was the first time I'd heard "asexual" on tv. The first time a character that was *human* was referred to as such. I was shocked, I was hopeful.
It was like a punch to the stomach that just didn't stop.
I remember watching this episode and waiting for some sort of end reveal where everyone learns that “asexuality isn’t a medical condition it’s just a lack of sexual attraction to people and it’s okay for people to be ace” or something.
It's like appropriating the myth that gayness exists because people were traumatized by the opposite sex or have daddy or mommy issues or something🙄 I never liked house when I saw it but before a friend showed me it I only knew Hugh Laurie from Stuart Little in which he was a very kind idealized version of a father lol how opposite
I remember watching this as a kid and thinking "wow, that's kind of offensive". I mean, I didn't know what asexuality was back then, but still, not too hard to piece together
There was also the episode where a character who was discovered to be intersex was revealed to be predator who raped her own father, and once her male organs were discovered house started using male pronouns for them against her wishes... just AWFUL connotations for the transgender and intersex community.
Not to completely hi-jack the discourse, but there's also something pretty insidious (and heteronormative) about the idea that erections are necessary for sex, when there's plenty of ways to have sex that don't centre on, or require, an erection.
Great video, btw!!
I heard about this before, it's really awful! Like... why would you do that?! And of course you're right, I'm Aro-Ace and also have a libido (if triggered on purpose actually lol) and they did everything wrong they possibly could. Not only did they, as you said, erase a sexual identity, but also pictured it in an entirely wrong way! I'm still shocked and angray about all of this, hmpf.😤
Hello fellow aroace. I don’t have anything to say about your comment but hello
@@jamcat1584 Hi fellow aro/ace! I'm a triple A battery, hbu?
This episode made me so mad when I watched it being young
Even I as a child hated people forcing others into becoming something they are not
I'm so happy to hear you talk about having a libido while being ace. It's something people seem incapable of understanding. Even myself for the longest time; I was convinced that, because I'd been aroused, that had to mean I was sexually attracted to someone, even though I still didn't want to have sex. It was The Big Bang Theory, of all things, that put it into words better than I ever could: "I have a stomach, I get hungry. I have genitals, I have the potential for sexual arousal." "A cross we all must bear."
I think the writer was talking out of her ass to prevent herself from getting canceled. She knew full well how it would come across.
Reminds me of that one time I was part of an LGBTQ+ dating community (before I started questioning being aromantic too)
I said I'm ace and the dude I was talking to IMMEDIATELY told me there was something wrong with me, my hormones and I should get that checked.
On a positive sidenote, he got banned like an hour later because I reported him lol
To everyone saying that the show doesn't misunderstand asexuals bc they weren't asexual in the end.
I'm pretty sure House proving that asexuality isn't real is misunderstanding them, bc he's basically saying they don't exist. Which,,,, they do
I've seen people saying "House is mean to everyone!". Yeah, no. He is rude to patients but he will always do what he thinks is best for them regardless of what other doctors say. A real House move would have been to write an episode where House calls a bigoted doctor and idiot and he cures a patient while completely ignoring their sexual or gender identity. Cause House's character really wouldn't give a shit.
Also!! This wasn't a random couple who happened to be ace, it shows House going OUT OF HIS WAY to get involved in someones personal lives.
I genuinely think that the better way the story would’ve been written is for house to still believe there’s something wrong with the asexual person but then simply just be wrong about that fact, and have to cope with the fact that his ideas on sexuality and romance are flawed and that he doesn’t know everything the world has to offer.
One of my fav shows that gave me comfort in my newly realised ace identity was Bojack Horseman in the form of Todd and Maude. I would love a deep dive analysis from you on that show since asexuality is a key point for Todd's character and they had an ace advisor and actual ace VA for the character of Maude, youtuber Echo Gillette. Anyways to try to keep this short, I love your vids keep up the good work!
I was so happy when you talked about demi sexuality! I always get weird reactions when I tell people that I'm demi sexual and explain what that means. It's very hard to find people who understands that you can be in the ace spectrum and still have a libido and be in a healthy relationship. It's about honesty, communication and understanding yourself and your needs.
I heard about the wall hooks failing to hold up the flag and my first thought was "What is the acephobia?" Then it turned out to actually be used in a metaphor about that so now I don't know what to think but good job for somehow making a great metaphor that matched by brains dumb jokes.
Ps. Great video. You managed to dull my anger about the show and how badly it represents us. It's important to remember that most people don't have harmful intentions but are mearly ignorant. Thank you for reminding me. 🖤
They could've just... made the wife ace. House could've looked into them both and been stumped by the wife and rejoice at his discovery of the husband's tumour and the go back to being stumped by the wife. Maybe even the guy had a lower libido _and_ was asexual. This really was completely unnecessary and easily fixable, what the hell?
"let's keep things casual" *turns his tie into a scarf*
This is slightly unrelated but I wish asexuality was taught about, or even just mentioned in schools.
oh my god I agree
yes, so many people don't know they are asexual because of the lack of education about it.
I had a discussion with a very sexually active person (who also said that he was a very open person, but i guess not) just this summer about asexuals. He couldn't understand WHY people are asexual because "sex is such a good realse for your mind and body". He also said that it is just probably people who cant get laid so they "made up a sexuality as an excuse for not having sex" which made me so flipping angry that I had to take deep breathes before I started my side of the discussion. I told him, just as he is a straight dude who craves sexual realses, there are people who doesnt have that crave, which is perfectly normal and okay! But, this stupid cishet man couldn't get it through his narrow mindset, even though we had a veeeery long discussion about it, that asexuals are valid and are perfectly normal aswell.
And i was so happy in Sex education that they made this representation for the asexual community.
I love morally gray characters and watched all House episodes multiple times. But holy shit there is some problemstic stuff in there.
I'm not ace and the episode luckily never influenced my perception of asexualty. I always knew it was 100% valid. But I get that such "rep" in media can be hurtful and harmful.
I didn't realise this video was three years old until you used 'he' for Philosophy Tube and I was like WOAH
I’m not finished with this video so I hope I’m not jumping the gun, but if they didn’t want house to be wrong, it could’ve been pretty easy. just make it all EXACTLY the same, but have the couple at the end go “thanks for finding that tumour, that could’ve been bad. we’re still asexual tho”
im demisexual/demiromantic and even then my "attraction" is mostly........aversion, partly bc autism complicates how i feel about touch and relationships but!! this was such a nice, validating video that makes me really happy!!! i just realized i recognize you from one of ms. lola's videos!! the one about bisexuality!! wow lgbt+ rights