@@gretchengeorge5302 do you feel better about pointing that out? What does that do for you? Does it up your credit score or something? I keep forgetting y’all are mad weird on this internet 😂 🤦🏾♀️
@@whatwasisaying1338 I don't see the problem with spreading knowledge. I love being corrected. I love learning something new everyday. .....or is it every day? Someone correct me! 😃
Now, if black women were the ones at the forefront of this trad-wife movement, we'd most definitely be called lazy asf and all kinds of demeaning shit. I'm glad you brought that up in the video because it's hella true.
Some of your viewers may be too young to remember this, but.... on the first season of the bachelor (possibly the very first episode; I can't remember), there was a BW on the show, and she was offered the first date. The WM took her on a gondola ride during which he initiated a kiss. Not only were the WW in the house angry when they found this out, so were hundreds of thousands of WW who were watching the show. They filled ABC TV and other online message boards with thousands of racist harangues and complaints. After this, nothing like this ever was allowed to happen again. Just thought your viewers would like to know. **Edit** The BW's name was LaNease Adams, and the Bachelor's was Alex Michel. It was the first season, and the kiss occurred in the second episode.
@@izzyNFT69 You're so welcome! It is terrible. I knew that WW came for her in the show's message boards, but I didn't know how badly she suffered as a result of this until I found the article I shared with you. She also has a video on YT where she describes what happened, and you can actually see the kiss scene. She says there was not just one during that ride, but three. I definitely think WW were jealous. Watching her be the first person in the show's history to be kissed was the kind of narcissistic injury that WW don't expect for themselves, but they deem just fine for BW. I'm certain that the show's producers took note of WW's outrage, and they made sure to never let this happen again. I think the show catered to them and their egos exclusively after that.
It’s crazy how a lot of people cry about us having too much diversity (forced diversity), yet a lot of integration and inclusion methods are controlled and neatly gate-kept (controlled diversity).
I also, and this kinda tracks with my spotty memory of childhood shows, remember someone once saying 90s/00s TV was more racially diverse (at least for kid and family shows) than a lot of shows from today and the 10s.
I'm in Japan right now. In sociology class, my teacher asked a Japanese girl whether education was important. She said of course, for a boyfriend it doesn't matter, but for marriage, she'd have to get serious and find an educated man. Then he asked me the same question and I agreed but also made a note that openly admitting that in England is very controversial, especially coming out of my mouth. Men don't feel the need to be educated back home and women outnumber them in higher education. Yet they consider us shallow and insult us if we openly admit we want a man with an education. I've been attacked multiple times for just casually asking a guy whether he's at uni and what he studies. I'm at law school and I've noticed that dating has gotten more difficult because a lot of men resent educated Black women. Yet in Japan, even the teacher was confused why anyone would want a woman to marry a man without education.
Because education is not the end all be all. You have to look at the bigger picture. How expensive is college? What’s the history behind college and black men? There are numerous men who have trades, licenses, or businesses. Of course not all and I’m not defending ignorant or lazy men. One should always continue to better themselves. Nonetheless, education is not the end all be all. I have multiple licenses, mortgage license, insurance license, etc. I’m 26 without a degree yet unlike a lot of the educated men I’ve met I have my own space, I’ve traveled around to multiple countries, and have made something of myself. If I’m on a date and someone ask me how much money I make or what education do I have, I’m going to side eye her.
@@martelly55 are you well read? The culture of people who go to college and those who do is different. Not a shade to your successful life, but what organizations are you a part of? Have a personal platform you help to promote change? Etc. It just ends up different. You don't even have to make bank but the things you learn hit different.
@@martelly55 realistically the more formal education the better job, the better the pay, which allows you more freedom, comfortability, social mobility. We should be encouraging Black men and boys who are able to go to college to do so for just the sake of being able to raise their chances of increasing their resources. I understand that having an education doesn't mean you will exactly be successful, but as a whole it's statistically proven to be beneficial. With more Black men who have resources with formal educations, we can also increase the resources of all Black men and boys who need several types of roles that seek Black men.
@@martelly55college is not expensive at all. It’s about the same as a trade school cost or less in most states, it’s at UNIVERSITY those costs can become exorbitantly high. But college? It’s (cheap asf or free for most students)
@@martelly55ilst you are very right, I think you’re missing her point. She’s not debating her preference. She’s describing the difference between Japanese culture for expecting men to be educated to be married, but as a Black Brit (assuming she is from ‘England as home’ and Black avatar) she’s questioned on this preference. I think she understands your point. Also, why side eye her about a question on what you studied? Maybe she just wants someone whose been through what she has - uni is hard! It’s nice to find someone who appreciates that. It’s the same as people having a preference for someone who owns their business, no? Sometimes, for some people, wanting someone with a degree means; the person enjoys reading at an academic level and research, enjoy constructing arguements, their match put up with 4 years of studying showing commitment and passion. I know this can be shown without but just as valid a preference as other preferences. Note: in England university is far more accessible than the US. All degrees cost the SAME amount of money and take roughly the same amount of years. With an exception of medical degrees, however, the initial costs are the same and other healthcare degrees have special financing got them. A while ago, they used to be FREE. Education is not the be all end all, but degrees - or at least researchers are very much necessary in this world. The reports and papers they write and studies they conduct help us understand the world. I personally don’t care if they’re educated in other ways and respect my academic goals and achievements.
If anyone is interested in digging jnto the social impact if different genres of reality TV- the shows like Flavor of Love; home makeover shows; body makeover shows - Reality Bites Back by Jen Posner is a great read
@@randychavez1979 Its hands down the Absolute WORST thing that has ever happened to TV. I'm one of those old Xennial Fogies who HATED everything about Reality TV as young 20 Something in the mid 2000s.
As a black man who learned about a lot of our history from my father as a child, I absolutely love your channel. It feels like something my father and I can both learn from still and it excites me to no end.
@@folacantubeThere’s nothing inherently wrong with her statement, but it’s annoying asf that black women date out because they have had negative experiences with black men yet you same women tell us that we need to seek therapy and that we’re self haters for staying out libed experiences with black women.
@Chiefteeth1 going to therapy teachs techniques related to loving and appreciating yourself for who you are. Part of that involves not externalizing your inherent Blackness to who you are with romanticlly. Loving and respecting your own Blackness involves not entertaining *anybody* who is anti-Black, that includes some other Black folks, unfortunately.
Let me tell you. I was watching perfect match. And one lady was named colony from selling Tampa I think. She said she wanted a man that worked and a husband and kids. This lady is a realtor. Makes thousands of dollars. And people i know kept saying she was too high maintenance and had high standards. ???? The guy she was talking to either didn’t have a job or said he’d rather be a stay at home dad. That’s cool for some people but this is a lady used to nice things because I don’t recall but someone from that show had family that had money and she had money as well as having a business?? But when the white women were the same or were legit gold diggers no one said they were high maintenance.
@@kiki13451 that's the label we get and the one they do. they believe white women are more human, and women (aka sensitive, needing protection and care) but we aren't. thats the truth.
Oh the irony of marshall questioning black femininity in comparison to latinas then being emasculated and having his masculinity questioned by his latina fiance is so god damn amazing. As an afro latina im soooo glad he got what he deserved. Don't even feel bad for that self hating ass face anymore 🤣😭
Yup its called glorious karma right on the public stage lol. 😂hope he learned his lesson but doubtful. He's currently peddling his Black girlfriend who he was anout to dump right before the tweets came out.
Me either. I clocked from day one that he was only tolerating Jackie bc she fit his preference. He always came across as a reformed colorist, not surprised at all when he was exposed
What in the world is wrong with some not all of these black men. It is so sad that racism and continuous hatred of the Black races have caused this internalized self hatred as well as for their own women. Black men we( black women) love you and want to support you. However, I encourage you to seek therapy from a black male therapist who doesn’t have a intimate relationship with a white person. This may give some insight into how to heal from the pain you are feeling.
I feel like Brett and Tiffany on LIB is because they legit had no drama. The biggest drama they had is when he had to get alterations to his pants on his wedding day where we all damn well know they'd both say yes. So they were deemed "boring" and didn't give them airtime. Sprinkle in the media's anti-blackness, and yep, zero air time.
And when she had that small breakdown because she was stressed over planning things for the wedding. And what did he do? First he held her, let her cry & told her he would help her with whatever she needed. Then he planned a beautiful date for her & showed her the beautiful portraits he took of her. He is one amazing man.
I've noticed a lot of Black women spaces online leaning towards alt right and conservative ideologies due to these anxieties about Black women dating and desirability. It's kind of scary.
I’ve been politically conservative my whole life, but as I got older I began leaning left. Personally, I think there has always been many black conservatives, and it’s only now become more socially acceptable to be vocal about it. I see more black male conservatives than women, btw. I’m asking genuinely and with no maliciousness, but don’t you think it’s misogynistic (misogynoir) to assume that a woman’s decisions are based on emotions (fear, anxiety, resentment, jealousy, PMS, etc.)? Saying that black women are becoming conservative due to romantic anxiety feels kind of racist and anti-black to me. It’s also dangerous to place this sort of stigma on an already vulnerable demographic.
No it's not. It's not leaning to "alt right". Black communities have been republican before welfare was even introduced. Black people decided to vote for the party of their enslavers aka " Democrats" in hopes to get access to benefits like social security, welfare etc. Once they started voting Democrat, most black people stayed voting Democrat. So no black people being "right" is not the problem. Alt right is no different than white people being "alt left or extreme progressives". They are two sides of the same coin. I have have always leaned conservative. Btw a traditional Liberal of the 80s is basically a Republican today. People move groups when one side becomes too extreme from CENTER values. So no many black people are moving back to where they originally started when they were fighting for their own rights . I would have thought that 52% of women that are "unalived" in the U.S. being black women would have been a FAR MORE SCARY focus OR perhaps what's even scarier is you find out it's not these "alt right men" wearing sheets and pointy hats terroizing your neighborhood anymore and making sure you're 6 feet under but it's men that......... LOOK JUST LIKE YOU.
@@Lalamary2266 but conservatism is born from fears, insecurity and anxiety, society's slow, but constant grow into instability feeds into the mental burdens that people carry while facing the interpersonal problems in their particular lives, which makes more simple minded and straightforward reasoning and biases more palatable (conservativism first, later fascism, ex: current USA, you know this). These days, everybody is becoming radicalized, not just black women, left or right, but it is happening, the right has an edge cuz the relied on old and innate human biases, so it makes that a lot sense many spaces for black women become alt right with time, it is not misogyny to point that out
Once upon a time, I almost went to a casting call for Flavor of Love. I got called several times to do Room Raiders and Next. Yes, I was an aspiring actress in Southern California in the early 2000s 😂😇
@@IntelexualMedia I stayed away from the dating shows because I had just started dating the man that is now my husband 😅 but overall, I’m glad I skipped reality television. I am still not well-adjusted and would’ve really hated having to dodge my reality TV days as I got further into adulthood. But ~2005 I thought I was the next ‘it’ girl!
@@AntoinetteChanel wow that’s something, but you made the right decision because if you had been on those shows it would’ve drastically impacted your life . Those shows followed a lot of those ppl in a negative way. Congrats on a happy healthy marriage 💓
@@tamyrah9124 thank you so much! And yes, my husband and I both agree that reality TV wouldn't have been great for me. I did work background for TRL during my time! Particularly in 2004 for MTV's Summer on the Run. The beach house was set up in Long Beach for part of the summer, and I appeared on three episodes...in my friend's bikini that I borrowed/stole, dancing and looking enthusiastic because an angry set director shouted at us all to give more energy or else 🤣
It’s IMPOSSIBLE for you to miss!!! These deep dives are going to hit EVERY TIME! So happy I get to watch content like this at the age that I’m at as I transition into the world of dating in adulthood (as a black woman).
Boy, I just loved this video. Made me put a mirror on why I watched these dating shows. During COVID I got into Married At First Sight. It was in NO and it showed a black man really falling in love with a black woman. Woody and Armani. He pursued her, gave her gifts, he seemed like he fell in love at first sight. I always wanted a comedy movie type of connection. Love the video.
Omg Woody and Amani are one of my favorite....no, the only reality TV couple I ever liked and enjoyed watching. Ngl, in the first episode, one of Woody's cousins said "this is so out of the blue, i've never seen him dating, he's a big party animal, not a marraige type" and I thought "uh oh.....i feel bad for whoever they set him up with" and immediately wrote him off and labeled his marraige as doomed. But when I saw him tear up at his own wedding in front of his new woman, i thought "huh....not too masculine to cry in front of his new woman and he isn't embarrassed abt it. Seems like an emotionally mature and secure move....i might be wrong? We'll see". He was such a breath of fresh air. He and Amani have such a beautiful relationship, she's so sweet and soft, and he is so patient and passionate, and their goofy energy matches the other. They deserve each other. And I'm low key jealous of what they have. (And what she has)
@@Pomagranite167 right. It's like their relationship was so natural. A very real love at first sight. Yeah, I believe that production hired him to bring some drama to the show, but they didn't expect for him to just fall in love with her like that. Seeing that just confirms to me that it's possible to fall in love at first sight and the other person gonna fall back.
When you said that the bachelor had 30-something seasons, you should have the mental image of me, clutching my head, falling backwards into a swirling vortex while the words "Bachelor" and "30 Seasons" echo around me in a taunting chorus.
Amazing video! It is always interesting to watch these videos as a Black lesbian. I used to be into very messy reality show. Im a lil ashamed to say I've always seen the racism in more mixed raced shows but not the misogynior in majority Black casts. I defintely knew their was misogyny in Flavor of Love but didnt link the intersections of them being Black women and that being the reason they were treated like trash. Appreciate this video very much!
Oh Lex! I loved every minute of this episode!!! ❤❤❤❤❤ I’ve been over dating shows since the first season of Love is Blind and I have no interest in watching the other seasons or other dating shows. Thank you so much for this and shedding light on how black women are constantly set aside or limited to a particular stereotype for love.
Lex,You forgot to mention that mariages between black women and white men are statistically more successful. However, I am glad that a content creator with a large plateform is talking about this. Thank you!
Thank you, this is interesting! I didn't even come across that but I just looked it up thanks to your comment. I wonder if it's because of white men's economic privilege. I'll read about it. here's a citation for anyone else in the comments Bratter, Jenifer L. (2008). ""But Will It Last?": Marital Instability among Interracial and Same-Race Couples". Family Relations. 57 (2): 160-171
@@IntelexualMedia I actually looked into that study and most people think it’s because both yt men and blk wm function as “the lead” in their race so it’s easier when we get together. Also studies show that blk women and yt men typically get together for reasons other than fetishization which is why blk men and yt women have a lower success rate when partnered (no shade) Blk men have the MOST success when partnered with blk women. Blk women and yt men are the most successful pairing even above yt men and yt women. That’s VERY telling. When the blk manosphere rails against blk wm I point out that study and it’s usually crickets from them.
@@IntelexualMedia Another content creator on the BWE space hypothesized that BW and WM have several things in common. For exemple, both groups carry their respective communities on their backs, prioritize family and tend to be highly driven/sucessful . Sending you love from Québec city 💕
@@patriciasamo3364 but I think a key difference here is that white men have a social, political, and economic power. im not buying the argument that we have several things in common. nor do I want black women carrying the community on our backs anymore so I dont think thats a brag. Thanks for your opinion though
As a black woman who has dated white men my entire life and is now married to one I have had no issues attracting white and non-black men. Do not allow an outdated online dating study to limit your dating options. I go where I am wanted and appreciate.
As a white guy im probably not the target demographic for your content but i do enjoy it. Its always very informative and keeps me from being bored on the long drives i do for work everyday.
@@silvercunningham1062 We are here but I think this video is mostly for the black community as you navigate messaging from these shows. Because tbh my girlfriend still trolled on IG for posting me - mostly from black men but there’s been a few black women too. She’s accused of being a race traitor and they use her fashion choices as further evidence. I pointed out to a few people that she’s a fashion student and so obviously street fashion is not her thing and they were very deferential to me. Like “oh cool bro, thanks for clarifying”. So her they insult and me they rediscover manners and an ability to spell. Her own people have dehumanised her. It’s bizarre.
@@jakestroll6518 Let’s not try and make this about what Black ppl need to learn please. As a Black trans man it is exhausting talking to whyte ppl about what y’all need to work on. I know how ppl treat us b/c I live it. Colonization has made even Black ppl prejudice. I do not need to be “told”. When y’all wanna do better as the “majority” then y’all will. But while I love reality tv I also know that it does not value Black ppl especially Black women for much more than diversity points. How often do whyte ppl actually make an effort to unlearn what colonialism has given y’all? How often do y’all sit down and read history books on Black trauma?
I had a white dude tell me he only dates black girls. When I asked why(out of curiosity) he didn't have an explanation. Not they're just my type, or anything like that. It was like an Apple Jack's commercial "I just do" it feels as if sometimes people date outside their race for ALL the wrong reasons
@Mel C if he found them attractive he could've just said that but instead he had no reason for me. He just told me he only dates black girls. Not he prefers them, not they're his type, not they are beautiful etc etc. I'm saying he was doing it for wrong reasons, he just didn't want to say.
@Mel C because they are not used to it. And society conditions us to be seen as undesirable and unworthy of love. I know a lot of White men who only date black women. They are just more attracted.
I just wanna stop and say that I can't state how invaluable and fresh every single one of your history essay topics is. I now officially have a patreon account. I can't wait to jump into Investigating History. Here's to your continued success! 🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯 💅💅💅💅💅 💐💐💐💐💐
I love your content! As a black woman I don't discriminate when it comes to whichever race I date. As long as he treats me like a real queen as I would treat him like a real king, then that's all that matters. It is unfortunate that as a darker skinned black woman and just an overall black woman that I have faced colorism from black men in dating. Suprisingly I haven't faced any prejudice or racial discrimination from dating other races.
Other races of men don't care how dark you are. Some are open to dating/marrying black women, and others aren't. Dark-skinned light-skinned FBA Caribbean or African aren't issues white men or any other group concern themselves with.
@@MrDMC11889it's internalized antiBlackness when Black men make decisions based on their partners skin tone. Those men aren't good candidates for fathers either because they are likely to treat their darkskinned children poorly too. I've had lots of success with Asian men, there is a resurgence of pridw for darker skintones in places like Vietnam, Thailand, Laos, and Myanmar and it has reset the standard of beauty in those places, especially for educated men. The cultural change is to differentiate from places like central China, Japan, and Korea where its thought that the focus on aspiring to whiteness is more important than health, spirituality, and preserving their native culture.
0:51 I just want to remind everyone that this woman didn't want a man who made six-figures because of "hypergamy" or anything like that. She wanted a man who made six-figures because she made six--figures. She had dated men who made less than her in the past and all of those relationships failed. There are a lot of other problems I have with this KS call (and with KS in general) but when this clip went viral, so many black men were complaining about her standards being too high when they really weren't. A woman wanting an equally yoked partner isn't unreasonable.
Many men don’t care about how much money a woman makes. The more financially successful a woman is - the less likely she is to find an equally successful partner. There are not enough financially successful men for everybody.
@@tikifreaky5204 I don't think she was trying to use her income level as a way to get a man. It seems like she was using her income to justify her standard. And i think that's one of the biggest misunderstandings that men have about women with money and/or education is that we're getting it for male attention. We're not. We know men don't care. But when someone asks us why we want educated and high-income men, it's because we ourselves are educated and have high incomes.
@@locsoluv94 exactly. The collective intelligence of these men is so poor. They don’t know that men date who they are around, with women that are on their level. So yes, a black woman’s income is not what attracts the man to her. But it certainly gets her close enough to him to be considered or date. If you don’t have money, you can’t travel or have certain experiences. Money matters, even indirectly
@@Mom-mp7fo This is a simple question with a simple answer. If the men aren’t getting married in college or right after, then they won’t be asking anyone to marry them. Simple Google search would show that the average age of marriage is higher for all races and both genders. Marrying someone off at 21/22 is more likely to end in divorce by 30. High achieving young people will mate and possibly meet their future husband/wife, but won’t marry until 28/29. If you’re an African American woman in college, you’re either single and focusing on your studies or single and getting with any guy to secure the ring. If most men aren’t marrying ANYONE at that time, your time is better spent studying.
Thank you for the work you do. I’ve been watching you for a few years now and can safely say you have become one of my favourite channels! I can see watching and listening to you for as long as you create content! Thanks for being you!
I can’t lie I only tuned into love is blind bc of another UA-camr, Kennie JD. Greatly appreciated the recap bc watching that season myself was getting boring fast with too many cringe moments from contestants. but I can appreciate the conversations me and my mom had about our dating experiences inbetween episodes. Really gave me assurance I didn’t know I needed rn with my love life
This was a great video! I'm a cryracial woman who was raised in Wyoming. When we moved to FL, I was really excited about meeting so many different kinds of people. In WY, white boys would tell me they didn't "like black girls". Once in FL I had no idea about colorism or the other issues like hair type, etc. I was so taken aback. I naively thought there was a communal appreciation that black people would have for each other. I'll never forget the day a dark skin black boy put his arm next to mine in class and said, without anyone asking him "I'd never date anyone darker than you." And when I pushed him on why he said, "that's my preference". And sadly I have heard those words echoed from so many other black men. I understand this stems from deeper issues under white supremacy, but damn. I wish we could just be done with it.
I'm glad you made this!! I went back and watched Flavor of Love as an adult. While it is still as hilarious as it was to me as a teen, I caught some stuff in a much much different light. Also this show help set up so many celebrity influences.
Lex I loved this so much! This was an amazing take from a different lens so many have already covered, so appreciate all the hard work you put into these videos!
I thought the video was super informative and interesting! I'm a white woman married to a South Asian man (so a minority/white couple) and I hadn't really considered how there may be differences in representation for interacial minority/minority couples. Back when we started dating it was still considered a bit of a taboo (at least in the deep south). But I feel like nowadays people (especially young people) are much more open to dating outside their race. For me and my partner, I feel like we were initially attracted to each other because we shared a mutual enthusiasm for learning and exploring together. He was also the first person i had been with who genuinely wanted to get to know me and who subscribed to feminist ideals.
Always love the in depth analysis and research you put into these bodies of work 🔥 You provided an excellent breakdown of how the portrayal of black love in these shows are manipulated for entertainment and profit. Absolutely love how everything asserted is backed with so much supporting evidence (something more people need to understand nowadays) ❤
Thank you so much for maki g this video. I’ve been trying to tell yt people about this issue, without the facts and now I get to send your video . In all honesty, it felt good to finally have someone say, we have been played as black women. It just feels like, finally someone sees us. Thank you Lex. You found a new subscriber. Your video made me feel less like my issue and more society issue with seeing me as a viable dating option.
As someone who hasnt watched reality tv aside from Drag Race in years, this was so interesting to me! Ty for doing this dive and can't wait to watch the next vid
I truly enjoyed this video! I admit I did watch Flavor of Love and Rock of love. I’m sure I’d be jaw on the ground shocked if I rewatched a season or two now! I always enjoy your voice, graphics, insight and clarity of ideas. Thank you
This was an amazing video. You really gave great introspection into the current romantic landscape for black women and how years of reality dating shows have played a part in that. I can’t wait for the deep dive into reality television in the next video. Thanks for your hard work ❤❤❤
Y'all, I can't watch reality t.v. anymore. I haven't watched it since 2010! But I do watch UA-camrs give their take on the shows. I can tell it's fake and I don't like seeing black women arguing instead of uniting. Fake or not it bothers me!
It's so sad, especially when you see educated and wealthy black women joining in. They recently did a reality show set in Martha's Vineyard and I was so excited until I watched the trailer. I literally felt my heart drop.
Ok, I'm obsessed with LIB Brazil! I assumed Afro -Brazilians like other people of African descent from countries other than America hid behind their nationality, and denied their African ancestry. But these brothers and sisters are proud of their African heritage, and want to date people of African ancestry. I encourage you all to watch! My next vacation will be to Brazil!
I applaud you for being able to sit through enough reality dating tv shows to do the research needed for your video. I barely have the patience to sit through a summary of any of them, let alone entire episodes. 😝
Love your videos! There was a biracial girl on the bachelor who chose another biracial man. I think that's the closest thing to black love the show will ever have.
Yes, the biracial girl´s name is Michelle Young and she was interesting as the Bachelorette, but I think that the latest season of the same show may surprise you 😄🖤😃🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
I always forget how much I enjoy your videos until I see another ones. I love listening while I'm doing my self care, cooking, etc. I feel your videos are informative and very entertaining 💯💯 Thanks for what you do, literally how I stay abreast on pop culture. 🤣
This morning as I was getting dressed for work, I searched your channel for something to watch and I had watched everything before. I said... where is she and boom! New video this afternoon!
YOURE SO GOOD !! This is why it’s so hard to date because of these shows, we are in this selective projective phase… where we will date multiple people and narrow down the choices. I used to do it but I had to step back from all of that …
I literally love everything about the words you speak! This is nothing but pure truth with a touch of humor and I LIVEEEE! Keep dropping nice content beautiful. You have a new subscriber🩷🙏🏽🎉
This was a great video!!! I’ve never watched an episode of “Flavor of Love”. The previews always made me feel like I’d lose some brain cells and that Black women were being used as sexual objects and jokes.
This brought up an old memory of one of the Flavor of Love contestants pooping on the floor during the elimination round. Apparently she had asked to use the bathroom but was told by the producers to wait for what ended up being 3 hours, and she just couldn't hold it anymore. The showed played it off as a Black woman being trashy enough to poop on the floor like an animal. I can't imagine how humiliated she must have felt.
I absolutely agree with your conclusion. I think as a perspective, even if Black women don't get messaged as much on dating apps it doesnt mean that they get no messages or matches. I remember that I got over 400 matches on Bumble and 900 on Tinder. Now, are these quality men? Probably not all of them. But I think it can help if some women thought of it like "sure a conventionally attractive white woman might get 1000 matches but I won't get 0 matches."
I've always thought of it that way. I am not bothered by not being most men's preference. Many of these men prefer not to be faithful, they prefer to disrespect and mistreat women. I don't not care of they don't prefer me. I want just one man that prefers me and would prefer to treat me well and I'll do the same for him. ❤
thanks for the video. getting insite like this is good to know because my laziness will never look things like this up, and have the insight to look between the lines with these shows
From stupid to authentic docility. I highly recommend and share this channel. It’s documentaries of the so called black community is a way to present a chance to have the hard conversations with family and friends. Much brought up needs to be talked openly about and then seek out resolving the deep rooted issues, feelings and problems. I’m enjoying this channel as it makes me realize, reflect and make my best educated decision regarding some belief systems. You are a gift 🎁. Thank U❤
It’s Hyper-GAH-MEE, luv. Video dope as always though.
It’s actually however I pronounce it with this accent, luv 😂😂😂
@@IntelexualMedia it’s accurate irrelevant to an accent, you said it wrong. You’re very smart, but not right about everything 😊
@@gretchengeorge5302 I didn't already thank you for watching and commenting? thanks for watching and commenting!
@@gretchengeorge5302 do you feel better about pointing that out? What does that do for you? Does it up your credit score or something? I keep forgetting y’all are mad weird on this internet 😂 🤦🏾♀️
@@whatwasisaying1338 I don't see the problem with spreading knowledge. I love being corrected. I love learning something new everyday.
.....or is it every day? Someone correct me! 😃
Now, if black women were the ones at the forefront of this trad-wife movement, we'd most definitely be called lazy asf and all kinds of demeaning shit. I'm glad you brought that up in the video because it's hella true.
24:36
She makes a excellent point here which I thought was obvious………… and this is what these DIEvesters fail to acknowledge ! 🤦🏽♂️
You’re 100% correct. Black women are always the scapegoat for capitalism’s shortcomings.
@@Jedi_Black the women dating outside of the community isn’t the same as the “luxury”women who also happen to date out of the community.
@@vikkidonn
Huh
@@Jedi_Black the divestors aren’t the same as the black girls in luxury women. They overlap but they aren’t the same.
Some of your viewers may be too young to remember this, but.... on the first season of the bachelor (possibly the very first episode; I can't remember), there was a BW on the show, and she was offered the first date. The WM took her on a gondola ride during which he initiated a kiss. Not only were the WW in the house angry when they found this out, so were hundreds of thousands of WW who were watching the show. They filled ABC TV and other online message boards with thousands of racist harangues and complaints. After this, nothing like this ever was allowed to happen again. Just thought your viewers would like to know.
**Edit** The BW's name was LaNease Adams, and the Bachelor's was Alex Michel. It was the first season, and the kiss occurred in the second episode.
Do you remember the season and the name of the bachelor in question?
@@izzyNFT69 FYI: the article also notes that the kiss occurred on the second episode, and the she was the first person he kissed.
@@Lynn.B. ok, thank you for the info! It's so really horrible that she went through that. Those WW must have been so jealous!
@@izzyNFT69 You're so welcome! It is terrible. I knew that WW came for her in the show's message boards, but I didn't know how badly she suffered as a result of this until I found the article I shared with you. She also has a video on YT where she describes what happened, and you can actually see the kiss scene. She says there was not just one during that ride, but three. I definitely think WW were jealous. Watching her be the first person in the show's history to be kissed was the kind of narcissistic injury that WW don't expect for themselves, but they deem just fine for BW. I'm certain that the show's producers took note of WW's outrage, and they made sure to never let this happen again. I think the show catered to them and their egos exclusively after that.
WHAT?! I hope he married a BW irl
It’s crazy how a lot of people cry about us having too much diversity (forced diversity), yet a lot of integration and inclusion methods are controlled and neatly gate-kept (controlled diversity).
Forced diversity isn’t even real. It comes from neo-Nazis
I also, and this kinda tracks with my spotty memory of childhood shows, remember someone once saying 90s/00s TV was more racially diverse (at least for kid and family shows) than a lot of shows from today and the 10s.
And their version of diversity is interracial couples that only include a white partner. Like, why can’t we see Black love in successful ways?
@@SebastianSeanCrowyea i feel like alot of shows have kinda fell off on that front
Diversity needs to be "forced" because segregation was forced. But the integration needs to happen on the white man's term
I'm in Japan right now. In sociology class, my teacher asked a Japanese girl whether education was important. She said of course, for a boyfriend it doesn't matter, but for marriage, she'd have to get serious and find an educated man. Then he asked me the same question and I agreed but also made a note that openly admitting that in England is very controversial, especially coming out of my mouth. Men don't feel the need to be educated back home and women outnumber them in higher education. Yet they consider us shallow and insult us if we openly admit we want a man with an education. I've been attacked multiple times for just casually asking a guy whether he's at uni and what he studies. I'm at law school and I've noticed that dating has gotten more difficult because a lot of men resent educated Black women. Yet in Japan, even the teacher was confused why anyone would want a woman to marry a man without education.
Because education is not the end all be all. You have to look at the bigger picture. How expensive is college? What’s the history behind college and black men? There are numerous men who have trades, licenses, or businesses. Of course not all and I’m not defending ignorant or lazy men. One should always continue to better themselves. Nonetheless, education is not the end all be all. I have multiple licenses, mortgage license, insurance license, etc. I’m 26 without a degree yet unlike a lot of the educated men I’ve met I have my own space, I’ve traveled around to multiple countries, and have made something of myself. If I’m on a date and someone ask me how much money I make or what education do I have, I’m going to side eye her.
@@martelly55 are you well read? The culture of people who go to college and those who do is different. Not a shade to your successful life, but what organizations are you a part of? Have a personal platform you help to promote change? Etc.
It just ends up different. You don't even have to make bank but the things you learn hit different.
@@martelly55 realistically the more formal education the better job, the better the pay, which allows you more freedom, comfortability, social mobility. We should be encouraging Black men and boys who are able to go to college to do so for just the sake of being able to raise their chances of increasing their resources. I understand that having an education doesn't mean you will exactly be successful, but as a whole it's statistically proven to be beneficial. With more Black men who have resources with formal educations, we can also increase the resources of all Black men and boys who need several types of roles that seek Black men.
@@martelly55college is not expensive at all. It’s about the same as a trade school cost or less in most states, it’s at UNIVERSITY those costs can become exorbitantly high. But college? It’s (cheap asf or free for most students)
@@martelly55ilst you are very right, I think you’re missing her point. She’s not debating her preference. She’s describing the difference between Japanese culture for expecting men to be educated to be married, but as a Black Brit (assuming she is from ‘England as home’ and Black avatar) she’s questioned on this preference. I think she understands your point.
Also, why side eye her about a question on what you studied? Maybe she just wants someone whose been through what she has - uni is hard! It’s nice to find someone who appreciates that. It’s the same as people having a preference for someone who owns their business, no? Sometimes, for some people, wanting someone with a degree means; the person enjoys reading at an academic level and research, enjoy constructing arguements, their match put up with 4 years of studying showing commitment and passion. I know this can be shown without but just as valid a preference as other preferences. Note: in England university is far more accessible than the US. All degrees cost the SAME amount of money and take roughly the same amount of years. With an exception of medical degrees, however, the initial costs are the same and other healthcare degrees have special financing got them. A while ago, they used to be FREE.
Education is not the be all end all, but degrees - or at least researchers are very much necessary in this world. The reports and papers they write and studies they conduct help us understand the world.
I personally don’t care if they’re educated in other ways and respect my academic goals and achievements.
I had no idea just how much class analysis there was to be found in reality dating shows.
Reality tv in general kinda seems to have a dichotomy (?) of revered upper class ppl and poor people presented as jokes
oh there's a gold mine for sure!
class is inescapable
If anyone is interested in digging jnto the social impact if different genres of reality TV- the shows like Flavor of Love; home makeover shows; body makeover shows - Reality Bites Back by Jen Posner is a great read
@@randychavez1979 Its hands down the Absolute WORST thing that has ever happened to TV. I'm one of those old Xennial Fogies who HATED everything about Reality TV as young 20 Something in the mid 2000s.
Black women aren’t villains for desiring financial stability , equally matched partners or even a partner to pay all the bills. period
As a black man who learned about a lot of our history from my father as a child, I absolutely love your channel. It feels like something my father and I can both learn from still and it excites me to no end.
Yessss I send her stuff to my mama all the time lol. She's such a gem
@@sweedy3333 it feels so nice improving my relationship with my folks this way. It feels purposeful
You are lost.
@@humanbeing4021 you're miserable
bruh, mane y'all be tripping
This is so spot on. Personally, I am okay with a man of any race at this point - I just want to be treated sweetly.
100%
Yes girl! Go where you’re appreciated bw!
Sounds like you don’t really see any attraction in other races of men. That’s kinda foul.
@@folacantubeThere’s nothing inherently wrong with her statement, but it’s annoying asf that black women date out because they have had negative experiences with black men yet you same women tell us that we need to seek therapy and that we’re self haters for staying out libed experiences with black women.
@Chiefteeth1 going to therapy teachs techniques related to loving and appreciating yourself for who you are. Part of that involves not externalizing your inherent Blackness to who you are with romanticlly. Loving and respecting your own Blackness involves not entertaining *anybody* who is anti-Black, that includes some other Black folks, unfortunately.
Loved this video! I had no business watching Flavor of love as a kid but looking back it was absolutely dehumanizing to black women.
Love and hip hop might b up there as well..
The thing that blows my mind is that it had at least spin off with i love new York and that spin off had a spin off
We all watched and thought they were fast or hoochie even back then....
The BW on the show degraded themselves.
@@humanbeing4021 fact's, finally someone speaking truth and sense
Bw get standards and dont lower them for nobody
❤
I wish that was true. We have to learn boundaries and standards just like everyone else
Let me tell you. I was watching perfect match. And one lady was named colony from selling Tampa I think. She said she wanted a man that worked and a husband and kids. This lady is a realtor. Makes thousands of dollars. And people i know kept saying she was too high maintenance and had high standards. ???? The guy she was talking to either didn’t have a job or said he’d rather be a stay at home dad. That’s cool for some people but this is a lady used to nice things because I don’t recall but someone from that show had family that had money and she had money as well as having a business?? But when the white women were the same or were legit gold diggers no one said they were high maintenance.
@@kiki13451 that's the label we get and the one they do. they believe white women are more human, and women (aka sensitive, needing protection and care) but we aren't. thats the truth.
By standards you mean thugs? Because that's what all of them are attracted to.
Oh the irony of marshall questioning black femininity in comparison to latinas then being emasculated and having his masculinity questioned by his latina fiance is so god damn amazing. As an afro latina im soooo glad he got what he deserved. Don't even feel bad for that self hating ass face anymore 🤣😭
Yup its called glorious karma right on the public stage lol. 😂hope he learned his lesson but doubtful. He's currently peddling his Black girlfriend who he was anout to dump right before the tweets came out.
Me either. I clocked from day one that he was only tolerating Jackie bc she fit his preference. He always came across as a reformed colorist, not surprised at all when he was exposed
OMG, when the world needed her most...
Thanks, again Lexi for speaking the truth to power and digging up the hard truths!
It’s hilarious that blk men site the Moynihan report. That entire report is an indictment against them
literally!
They’re too slow to see this. It’s laughable really.
They have clearly NEVER read it haha. Just repeating talking points from another person who has never read the documents😂
What in the world is wrong with some not all of these black men. It is so sad that racism and continuous hatred of the Black races have caused this internalized self hatred as well as for their own women. Black men we( black women) love you and want to support you. However, I encourage you to seek therapy from a black male therapist who doesn’t have a intimate relationship with a white person. This may give some insight into how to heal from the pain you are feeling.
The problem is that they don't see themselves as those men
I feel like Brett and Tiffany on LIB is because they legit had no drama. The biggest drama they had is when he had to get alterations to his pants on his wedding day where we all damn well know they'd both say yes. So they were deemed "boring" and didn't give them airtime. Sprinkle in the media's anti-blackness, and yep, zero air time.
Lol him and those pants!!!
And when she had that small breakdown because she was stressed over planning things for the wedding. And what did he do? First he held her, let her cry & told her he would help her with whatever she needed. Then he planned a beautiful date for her & showed her the beautiful portraits he took of her. He is one amazing man.
@@juhyassmin Definitely ❤❤❤
Omg that is so lovely. I'm happy for them. Definitely restores my faith in humanity a little
Yeah agreed
I've noticed a lot of Black women spaces online leaning towards alt right and conservative ideologies due to these anxieties about Black women dating and desirability. It's kind of scary.
It’s horrifying. What makes it worse is that their concerns aren’t entirely invalid
The hypergamy/divest to alt right/conservative pipeline is real! Ppl need to recognize when propaganda is being shown to them.
I’ve been politically conservative my whole life, but as I got older I began leaning left. Personally, I think there has always been many black conservatives, and it’s only now become more socially acceptable to be vocal about it. I see more black male conservatives than women, btw.
I’m asking genuinely and with no maliciousness, but don’t you think it’s misogynistic (misogynoir) to assume that a woman’s decisions are based on emotions (fear, anxiety, resentment, jealousy, PMS, etc.)? Saying that black women are becoming conservative due to romantic anxiety feels kind of racist and anti-black to me. It’s also dangerous to place this sort of stigma on an already vulnerable demographic.
No it's not. It's not leaning to "alt right". Black communities have been republican before welfare was even introduced. Black people decided to vote for the party of their enslavers aka " Democrats" in hopes to get access to benefits like social security, welfare etc. Once they started voting Democrat, most black people stayed voting Democrat. So no black people being "right" is not the problem. Alt right is no different than white people being "alt left or extreme progressives". They are two sides of the same coin. I have have always leaned conservative. Btw a traditional Liberal of the 80s is basically a Republican today. People move groups when one side becomes too extreme from CENTER values. So no many black people are moving back to where they originally started when they were fighting for their own rights .
I would have thought that 52% of women that are "unalived" in the U.S. being black women would have been a FAR MORE SCARY focus OR perhaps what's even scarier is you find out it's not these "alt right men" wearing sheets and pointy hats terroizing your neighborhood anymore and making sure you're 6 feet under but it's men that.........
LOOK
JUST
LIKE
YOU.
@@Lalamary2266 but conservatism is born from fears, insecurity and anxiety, society's slow, but constant grow into instability feeds into the mental burdens that people carry while facing the interpersonal problems in their particular lives, which makes more simple minded and straightforward reasoning and biases more palatable (conservativism first, later fascism, ex: current USA, you know this). These days, everybody is becoming radicalized, not just black women, left or right, but it is happening, the right has an edge cuz the relied on old and innate human biases, so it makes that a lot sense many spaces for black women become alt right with time, it is not misogyny to point that out
Such a good point about conservatives not caring about marriage being used as a prop on TV.
Amazing work! I have often considered how systemically Black womens desires are trivialized.
Once upon a time, I almost went to a casting call for Flavor of Love. I got called several times to do Room Raiders and Next. Yes, I was an aspiring actress in Southern California in the early 2000s 😂😇
lmao you should have done Next!
Okay Next and Room Raiders tho was iconic and hilarious 💀
@@IntelexualMedia I stayed away from the dating shows because I had just started dating the man that is now my husband 😅 but overall, I’m glad I skipped reality television. I am still not well-adjusted and would’ve really hated having to dodge my reality TV days as I got further into adulthood. But ~2005 I thought I was the next ‘it’ girl!
@@AntoinetteChanel wow that’s something, but you made the right decision because if you had been on those shows it would’ve drastically impacted your life . Those shows followed a lot of those ppl in a negative way. Congrats on a happy healthy marriage 💓
@@tamyrah9124 thank you so much! And yes, my husband and I both agree that reality TV wouldn't have been great for me. I did work background for TRL during my time! Particularly in 2004 for MTV's Summer on the Run. The beach house was set up in Long Beach for part of the summer, and I appeared on three episodes...in my friend's bikini that I borrowed/stole, dancing and looking enthusiastic because an angry set director shouted at us all to give more energy or else 🤣
It’s IMPOSSIBLE for you to miss!!! These deep dives are going to hit EVERY TIME! So happy I get to watch content like this at the age that I’m at as I transition into the world of dating in adulthood (as a black woman).
Boy, I just loved this video. Made me put a mirror on why I watched these dating shows. During COVID I got into Married At First Sight. It was in NO and it showed a black man really falling in love with a black woman. Woody and Armani. He pursued her, gave her gifts, he seemed like he fell in love at first sight. I always wanted a comedy movie type of connection. Love the video.
Thanks for sharing 💖
Omg Woody and Amani are one of my favorite....no, the only reality TV couple I ever liked and enjoyed watching. Ngl, in the first episode, one of Woody's cousins said "this is so out of the blue, i've never seen him dating, he's a big party animal, not a marraige type" and I thought "uh oh.....i feel bad for whoever they set him up with" and immediately wrote him off and labeled his marraige as doomed.
But when I saw him tear up at his own wedding in front of his new woman, i thought "huh....not too masculine to cry in front of his new woman and he isn't embarrassed abt it. Seems like an emotionally mature and secure move....i might be wrong? We'll see".
He was such a breath of fresh air. He and Amani have such a beautiful relationship, she's so sweet and soft, and he is so patient and passionate, and their goofy energy matches the other. They deserve each other. And I'm low key jealous of what they have. (And what she has)
@@Pomagranite167 right. It's like their relationship was so natural. A very real love at first sight. Yeah, I believe that production hired him to bring some drama to the show, but they didn't expect for him to just fall in love with her like that. Seeing that just confirms to me that it's possible to fall in love at first sight and the other person gonna fall back.
When you said that the bachelor had 30-something seasons, you should have the mental image of me, clutching my head, falling backwards into a swirling vortex while the words "Bachelor" and "30 Seasons" echo around me in a taunting chorus.
Amazing video! It is always interesting to watch these videos as a Black lesbian.
I used to be into very messy reality show. Im a lil ashamed to say I've always seen the racism in more mixed raced shows but not the misogynior in majority Black casts. I defintely knew their was misogyny in Flavor of Love but didnt link the intersections of them being Black women and that being the reason they were treated like trash.
Appreciate this video very much!
Oh Lex! I loved every minute of this episode!!! ❤❤❤❤❤ I’ve been over dating shows since the first season of Love is Blind and I have no interest in watching the other seasons or other dating shows. Thank you so much for this and shedding light on how black women are constantly set aside or limited to a particular stereotype for love.
💖💖 thank youuu for watching!
I love your content. Keep up the "Black excellence" work. You're inspirational for so many black girls and women!!!
Lex,You forgot to mention that mariages between black women and white men are statistically more successful.
However, I am glad that a content creator with a large plateform is talking about this. Thank you!
Thank you, this is interesting! I didn't even come across that but I just looked it up thanks to your comment. I wonder if it's because of white men's economic privilege. I'll read about it. here's a citation for anyone else in the comments Bratter, Jenifer L. (2008). ""But Will It Last?": Marital Instability among Interracial and Same-Race Couples". Family Relations. 57 (2): 160-171
@@IntelexualMedia I actually looked into that study and most people think it’s because both yt men and blk wm function as “the lead” in their race so it’s easier when we get together. Also studies show that blk women and yt men typically get together for reasons other than fetishization which is why blk men and yt women have a lower success rate when partnered (no shade)
Blk men have the MOST success when partnered with blk women.
Blk women and yt men are the most successful pairing even above yt men and yt women.
That’s VERY telling.
When the blk manosphere rails against blk wm I point out that study and it’s usually crickets from them.
You want a cookie
@@IntelexualMedia Another content creator on the BWE space hypothesized that BW and WM have several things in common. For exemple, both groups carry their respective communities on their backs, prioritize family and tend to be highly driven/sucessful .
Sending you love from Québec city 💕
@@patriciasamo3364 but I think a key difference here is that white men have a social, political, and economic power. im not buying the argument that we have several things in common. nor do I want black women carrying the community on our backs anymore so I dont think thats a brag. Thanks for your opinion though
As a black woman who has dated white men my entire life and is now married to one I have had no issues attracting white and non-black men. Do not allow an outdated online dating study to limit your dating options. I go where I am wanted and appreciate.
I needed this. Thank you.
As a white guy im probably not the target demographic for your content but i do enjoy it. Its always very informative and keeps me from being bored on the long drives i do for work everyday.
Hopefully y’all will be the majority of the audience
As a black woman, I appreciate this, Garrett.
@@silvercunningham1062 We are here but I think this video is mostly for the black community as you navigate messaging from these shows. Because tbh my girlfriend still trolled on IG for posting me - mostly from black men but there’s been a few black women too. She’s accused of being a race traitor and they use her fashion choices as further evidence. I pointed out to a few people that she’s a fashion student and so obviously street fashion is not her thing and they were very deferential to me. Like “oh cool bro, thanks for clarifying”. So her they insult and me they rediscover manners and an ability to spell. Her own people have dehumanised her. It’s bizarre.
@@jakestroll6518 Let’s not try and make this about what Black ppl need to learn please. As a Black trans man it is exhausting talking to whyte ppl about what y’all need to work on. I know how ppl treat us b/c I live it. Colonization has made even Black ppl prejudice. I do not need to be “told”. When y’all wanna do better as the “majority” then y’all will. But while I love reality tv I also know that it does not value Black ppl especially Black women for much more than diversity points. How often do whyte ppl actually make an effort to unlearn what colonialism has given y’all? How often do y’all sit down and read history books on Black trauma?
@@jakestroll6518 also discover manners and an ability to spell? You sound racist and the reason ppl troll your gf. Not cuz you’re a mayosapien
that Iyanala Vanvat and Eboni K Williams clip boils my blood.
Exactly ! Other races of women ain't out here struggling with their man,why should we ?
I had a white dude tell me he only dates black girls. When I asked why(out of curiosity) he didn't have an explanation. Not they're just my type, or anything like that. It was like an Apple Jack's commercial "I just do" it feels as if sometimes people date outside their race for ALL the wrong reasons
It’s a hard one. Everyone can say they DONT prefer BW, but if someone does, we still give them the side eye. I get why but it’s giving anti-BW
@Mel C if he found them attractive he could've just said that but instead he had no reason for me. He just told me he only dates black girls. Not he prefers them, not they're his type, not they are beautiful etc etc. I'm saying he was doing it for wrong reasons, he just didn't want to say.
@Mel C because they are not used to it. And society conditions us to be seen as undesirable and unworthy of love. I know a lot of White men who only date black women. They are just more attracted.
Sounds like a good response to me. If a white woman said she just likes white men would you question it?
@Iwas here yes. I'd ask her why. If it's just "white guys are my type" than ok but thats just the thing, he didn't even tell me that
I just wanna stop and say that I can't state how invaluable and fresh every single one of your history essay topics is. I now officially have a patreon account. I can't wait to jump into Investigating History. Here's to your continued success!
🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯
💅💅💅💅💅
💐💐💐💐💐
David!! I appreciate it so much 💖💖
I love your content! As a black woman I don't discriminate when it comes to whichever race I date. As long as he treats me like a real queen as I would treat him like a real king, then that's all that matters. It is unfortunate that as a darker skinned black woman and just an overall black woman that I have faced colorism from black men in dating. Suprisingly I haven't faced any prejudice or racial discrimination from dating other races.
Thank you 💖💖 You gotta do what works for you!
That's the same thing Lauren from love is blind said on her season. So sad
Other races of men don't care how dark you are. Some are open to dating/marrying black women, and others aren't. Dark-skinned light-skinned FBA Caribbean or African aren't issues white men or any other group concern themselves with.
@@MrDMC11889it's internalized antiBlackness when Black men make decisions based on their partners skin tone. Those men aren't good candidates for fathers either because they are likely to treat their darkskinned children poorly too.
I've had lots of success with Asian men, there is a resurgence of pridw for darker skintones in places like Vietnam, Thailand, Laos, and Myanmar and it has reset the standard of beauty in those places, especially for educated men. The cultural change is to differentiate from places like central China, Japan, and Korea where its thought that the focus on aspiring to whiteness is more important than health, spirituality, and preserving their native culture.
0:51
I just want to remind everyone that this woman didn't want a man who made six-figures because of "hypergamy" or anything like that. She wanted a man who made six-figures because she made six--figures. She had dated men who made less than her in the past and all of those relationships failed.
There are a lot of other problems I have with this KS call (and with KS in general) but when this clip went viral, so many black men were complaining about her standards being too high when they really weren't. A woman wanting an equally yoked partner isn't unreasonable.
Many men don’t care about how much money a woman makes. The more financially successful a woman is - the less likely she is to find an equally successful partner. There are not enough financially successful men for everybody.
@@tikifreaky5204 I don't think she was trying to use her income level as a way to get a man. It seems like she was using her income to justify her standard.
And i think that's one of the biggest misunderstandings that men have about women with money and/or education is that we're getting it for male attention. We're not. We know men don't care. But when someone asks us why we want educated and high-income men, it's because we ourselves are educated and have high incomes.
@@locsoluv94 exactly. The collective intelligence of these men is so poor. They don’t know that men date who they are around, with women that are on their level. So yes, a black woman’s income is not what attracts the man to her. But it certainly gets her close enough to him to be considered or date. If you don’t have money, you can’t travel or have certain experiences. Money matters, even indirectly
@@Mom-mp7fo This is a simple question with a simple answer. If the men aren’t getting married in college or right after, then they won’t be asking anyone to marry them.
Simple Google search would show that the average age of marriage is higher for all races and both genders. Marrying someone off at 21/22 is more likely to end in divorce by 30. High achieving young people will mate and possibly meet their future husband/wife, but won’t marry until 28/29.
If you’re an African American woman in college, you’re either single and focusing on your studies or single and getting with any guy to secure the ring. If most men aren’t marrying ANYONE at that time, your time is better spent studying.
whats a lexual video without good history points, laughs, and introspection ! i love these videos its like a good big sis talk
Thank you for the work you do. I’ve been watching you for a few years now and can safely say you have become one of my favourite channels! I can see watching and listening to you for as long as you create content! Thanks for being you!
I can’t lie I only tuned into love is blind bc of another UA-camr, Kennie JD. Greatly appreciated the recap bc watching that season myself was getting boring fast with too many cringe moments from contestants.
but I can appreciate the conversations me and my mom had about our dating experiences inbetween episodes. Really gave me assurance I didn’t know I needed rn with my love life
This was a great video!
I'm a cryracial woman who was raised in Wyoming. When we moved to FL, I was really excited about meeting so many different kinds of people. In WY, white boys would tell me they didn't "like black girls". Once in FL I had no idea about colorism or the other issues like hair type, etc. I was so taken aback. I naively thought there was a communal appreciation that black people would have for each other. I'll never forget the day a dark skin black boy put his arm next to mine in class and said, without anyone asking him "I'd never date anyone darker than you." And when I pushed him on why he said, "that's my preference". And sadly I have heard those words echoed from so many other black men. I understand this stems from deeper issues under white supremacy, but damn. I wish we could just be done with it.
Cryracial?
Every time I see “Love is Blind” on social media the song by Eve of the same name gets stuck in my head 😂
I'm glad you made this!! I went back and watched Flavor of Love as an adult. While it is still as hilarious as it was to me as a teen, I caught some stuff in a much much different light. Also this show help set up so many celebrity influences.
Love the knowledge pop ups in this video! Gives me Blind Date/pop up video vibes
That was the goal! 💖
Lex I loved this so much! This was an amazing take from a different lens so many have already covered, so appreciate all the hard work you put into these videos!
Best decision I made was subscribing to this channel
thank you so much for subbing!
I thought the video was super informative and interesting! I'm a white woman married to a South Asian man (so a minority/white couple) and I hadn't really considered how there may be differences in representation for interacial minority/minority couples. Back when we started dating it was still considered a bit of a taboo (at least in the deep south). But I feel like nowadays people (especially young people) are much more open to dating outside their race. For me and my partner, I feel like we were initially attracted to each other because we shared a mutual enthusiasm for learning and exploring together. He was also the first person i had been with who genuinely wanted to get to know me and who subscribed to feminist ideals.
Super excited to hear your thoughts on this topic, Lex!
Never watched FOL or Bachelor but the impact of these shows are everywhere. Thanks for the well written and researched video.
That ad read was fantastic, they should pay you double what they already have
I always hated reality T.V. The blatant racism is yet another reason I'm so happy I avoided that garbage. Thanks for another banger of a video Lex.
until now I thought Love is Blind was a dating show for blind people no lie
😂 I can’t lol
That’s what I thought it was for years until I saw a video using clips and I was confused
Always love the in depth analysis and research you put into these bodies of work 🔥 You provided an excellent breakdown of how the portrayal of black love in these shows are manipulated for entertainment and profit. Absolutely love how everything asserted is backed with so much supporting evidence (something more people need to understand nowadays) ❤
Thank you Nick!!
Thank you so much for maki g this video. I’ve been trying to tell yt people about this issue, without the facts and now I get to send your video .
In all honesty, it felt good to finally have someone say, we have been played as black women. It just feels like, finally someone sees us. Thank you Lex. You found a new subscriber. Your video made me feel less like my issue and more society issue with seeing me as a viable dating option.
Not only is the research super interesting and well told, but the whole data segment around 30' was soooooo rich and fascinating
As someone who hasnt watched reality tv aside from Drag Race in years, this was so interesting to me! Ty for doing this dive and can't wait to watch the next vid
Jasmine Fiore was killed at a hotel I was staying at with a friend located in Del Mar, CA. I’m still shook by what that man did to her.
This video is soo good. It really opened up my eyes to the issues with FOL and reality shows overall.
Great video, I’m so happy to see your take on this topic!
Love when queen Lex uploads ❤
I truly enjoyed this video! I admit I did watch Flavor of Love and Rock of love. I’m sure I’d be jaw on the ground shocked if I rewatched a season or two now!
I always enjoy your voice, graphics, insight and clarity of ideas. Thank you
i love this video and how you can go from reporter giving us the facts to giving us ur opinion and adding some personality with it I love it.
You are always giving us amazing videos and i love hearing you voice how you feel about things going on
Very informative and inciteful
We love ya Lex
This was an amazing video. You really gave great introspection into the current romantic landscape for black women and how years of reality dating shows have played a part in that. I can’t wait for the deep dive into reality television in the next video. Thanks for your hard work ❤❤❤
Ms. Lexual, love your content and always happy to see a new drop.
Y'all, I can't watch reality t.v. anymore. I haven't watched it since 2010! But I do watch UA-camrs give their take on the shows. I can tell it's fake and I don't like seeing black women arguing instead of uniting. Fake or not it bothers me!
It's so sad, especially when you see educated and wealthy black women joining in.
They recently did a reality show set in Martha's Vineyard and I was so excited until I watched the trailer. I literally felt my heart drop.
Ok, I'm obsessed with LIB Brazil! I assumed Afro -Brazilians like other people of African descent from countries other than America hid behind their nationality, and denied their African ancestry. But these brothers and sisters are proud of their African heritage, and want to date people of African ancestry. I encourage you all to watch! My next vacation will be to Brazil!
I applaud you for being able to sit through enough reality dating tv shows to do the research needed for your video. I barely have the patience to sit through a summary of any of them, let alone entire episodes. 😝
Love your videos! There was a biracial girl on the bachelor who chose another biracial man. I think that's the closest thing to black love the show will ever have.
Please 🤣🤣🤣
They broke up immediately afterwards too.😂
Yes, the biracial girl´s name is Michelle Young and she was interesting as the Bachelorette, but I think that the latest season of the same show may surprise you 😄🖤😃🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
I always forget how much I enjoy your videos until I see another ones. I love listening while I'm doing my self care, cooking, etc. I feel your videos are informative and very entertaining 💯💯 Thanks for what you do, literally how I stay abreast on pop culture. 🤣
The quality of your content is just exceptional. The amount of research and data alone makes my head spin. Excellent!
I appreciate it so much
So grossed out by the directors of these shows intentionally causing chaos.
This morning as I was getting dressed for work, I searched your channel for something to watch and I had watched everything before. I said... where is she and boom! New video this afternoon!
glad I could perk up your day
I love the professional viewpoint with the side of shit talking 😂😂😂 I really enjoy your videos! You do a great job.
Thank you! ❤
it’s so hard out here for black women :( I’m glad I found my man and I hope we get married and have babies one day when we’re done with school ❤️
It is hard out here and I am starting to lose hope. Congratulations to you and your man! Wishing you many years together ❤
wishing you the best
Loved this lex. As a big love is blind fan and think you handled this topic very well.
YOURE SO GOOD !! This is why it’s so hard to date because of these shows, we are in this selective projective phase… where we will date multiple people and narrow down the choices. I used to do it but I had to step back from all of that …
Am I addicted to your content? I am, girl... I know it takes time but I was on a drought. Will anxiously wait for the next one!
More coming sooner than later ❤️
Yass a finally someone doing long form videos for my interest!! Thank you!
Needed. Thank you for this. Also, yes...Love is Blind was way too long, I thought I was crazy.
I wanted to kick my tv screen lol. Thanks for watching!
This is the second video of yours I've watched. I liked and shared the first. This one inspired me to subscribe. I appreciate this information.
Your videos and topics are unmatched
This was absolutely brilliant. Best video essays on modern society on UA-cam in my opinion. I love you
Wow, thank you!
I literally love everything about the words you speak! This is nothing but pure truth with a touch of humor and I LIVEEEE! Keep dropping nice content beautiful. You have a new subscriber🩷🙏🏽🎉
Timely as always and introspective, you are an icon and the moment!
thank you so much for watching
“Jagged Hairline Aside” lol the way I cackled
This was a great video!!! I’ve never watched an episode of “Flavor of Love”. The previews always made me feel like I’d lose some brain cells and that Black women were being used as sexual objects and jokes.
The only good thing that came out of it was the iconic Tiffany.
Your choice of words and subtle shade get me weak every time 🤣
I can’t wait for this one. Love your hair!
As always, thought provoking content. Can't get enough of your channel.👍🏽❤❤
Thank you 💖
This brought up an old memory of one of the Flavor of Love contestants pooping on the floor during the elimination round. Apparently she had asked to use the bathroom but was told by the producers to wait for what ended up being 3 hours, and she just couldn't hold it anymore. The showed played it off as a Black woman being trashy enough to poop on the floor like an animal. I can't imagine how humiliated she must have felt.
Thank you for the new video! I'm so excited!!!!
Commenting to support you Lex! ♥♥ Thank you for everything you do, I absolutely adore your channel!
I absolutely agree with your conclusion. I think as a perspective, even if Black women don't get messaged as much on dating apps it doesnt mean that they get no messages or matches. I remember that I got over 400 matches on Bumble and 900 on Tinder. Now, are these quality men? Probably not all of them. But I think it can help if some women thought of it like "sure a conventionally attractive white woman might get 1000 matches but I won't get 0 matches."
I've always thought of it that way. I am not bothered by not being most men's preference. Many of these men prefer not to be faithful, they prefer to disrespect and mistreat women. I don't not care of they don't prefer me. I want just one man that prefers me and would prefer to treat me well and I'll do the same for him. ❤
Every time you post it’s so magical I lov you
god I’m so glad I’m not getting married or having kids this seems stressful
I love this channel !!! So glad I found it !!
Glad you enjoy it!
I appreciate your insight on every vid!
thank you for watching!
thanks for the video. getting insite like this is good to know because my laziness will never look things like this up, and have the insight to look between the lines with these shows
Super excited to watch this! Thank you for your work!
Thank you! 💖
From stupid to authentic docility. I highly recommend and share this channel. It’s documentaries of the so called black community is a way to present a chance to have the hard conversations with family and friends. Much brought up needs to be talked openly about and then seek out resolving the deep rooted issues, feelings and problems.
I’m enjoying this channel as it makes me realize, reflect and make my best educated decision regarding some belief systems.
You are a gift 🎁. Thank U❤
A well researched, captivating and informative piece.
Flav also tips 18% of the tab, but is a very pleasant patreon who will take pics with staff!
Rev. Lexi on the mic preaching!!! Drop them facts off to 'em girl.....