I am a Japanese man living in Thailand now. Japanese salarymen often prioritize work schedules and drinking parties (飲み会) over spending time with friends. In my view, this tendency is rooted in the country's collectivist culture. The "village rules (村の掟社会)" mindset was built over centuries in Japan's isolated island society, where survival depended on group harmony and adherence to unspoken rules. However, globalization and internet-driven individualism are gradually eroding its relevance. Anyway, if I were living in Japan now, I’d love to be friends with you! :)
Thank you for your comment! That makes sense! It definitely feels like one of the strongest indications of a collectivist culture that is still standing. In some ways, I hate to see individualism erode the collectivist culture; but, if it helps people feel less stress after work, then maybe a little less can be a good thing. Or just people viewing less nomikai's as being better for their peers. A sort of "newly informed collectivism" maybe 😊 Hit me up if you're ever back in Japan! Hope you're having a great life in Thailand
@@william_in_japan Thank you for your thoughtful reply! 😊 I completely agree that a "newly informed collectivism" could strike a great balance between harmony and personal freedom. It's not just the nomikai culture, but also late-night meetings, and the excessive "customer-first(≒Omotenashi)" mindset that can add stress to Japanese workers. For example, in some big advertising agencies, it's not uncommon for creatives to receive calls even at 2 a.m. to meet last-minute demands. Finding ways to make work-life balance better while keeping the positive aspects of collectivism would be ideal. If I ever return to Japan, it would be great to connect! Thailand has been wonderful so far, but there are many things about Japan I still love. 😊 Thanks again for your kind words, and I hope you're doing great too!
interesting 村の掟 / むらのおきて I think you can make many friends in Japan but much of social life is related to drinking so its a bit bad for you but I had lots of friends in Japan. It did take me a long time to adjust to life in Japan. seemed like the first 5 years were challenging but you just have to persevere. Well at least you’re not an English teacher so thats nice. I saw many English teachers with horrible jobs and so frustrated living in Japan. I loved living in Japan but I didnt like my employer and the kuyakusho stuff. I finally left because covid was going on for so long. I want to go back but maybe I should go to a different country. But I speak a lot of Japanese. Maybe take a java bootcamp and try again? But Im ojisan now.
@@william_in_japan Hi William, Your video Life in Japan means having no friends really resonated with me and inspired me to create my own video exploring a related topic-Japan’s work culture and karoshi. I’ve mentioned your video in my description as a source of inspiration, and I wanted to share my work with you: [ua-cam.com/video/vwrwVtv6iSc/v-deo.htmlsi=foIWbH6mAxO5C6gy]. Thank you for being such an inspiration and for sharing your unique perspective about life in Japan!
I am returning to Japan after a very long time. The very fact that people keep each other at a distance is a big plus for me. The various international centers are great., because you can drop in for an hour or two, and if you want to go to dinner with a group of people you like, you can . But there are no obligations. Don't know if there are so many of those around anymore, though.They used to be in every big - mid size city.
This rings so close to home as someone who just returned from exchange in Japan a few months ago. I’ve never felt so lonely and alienated in my entire life to when I was in Japan. Like I had friends, but no one who I could casually invite to hang out on the weekend or even on the same day and they would actually come, and it wasn’t for lack of trying. Japanese acquaintances were always nice but there’s that same issue that you mentioned that you have to plan things 1-2 months in advance if you want to hang out with them, it was easier to plan things with foreign friends but most people I met in my dorm were already people who knew each other from the other semester so it was kind of hard to mingle in that midst and in general form deeper connections. That’s the only thing that makes me hesitate in moving to Japan in the future
I'm guessing you mean college exchange right? I wonder if joining a club might have been better. When I was in language school, I made a lot of good international friends, so during that period I wasn't so lonely. Now that I am in a company full-time, honestly it helps fight loneliness, because everyone is very friendly. I just don't hang out with anyone outside of work events yet. I think everyone just gets in groups and pretty much schedules most everything as group events here.
Well if you are in college, joining a club is the go to way for socializing. This is at least the trend in asian countries, in my country, NO ONE will hangout with you if you just walk up to them and ask. They will in fact find it weird, joining a literature club, or the football club etc is the only way of finding people to hangout with in college. That's the reason why there is every kind of club in college.
@@william_in_japan That sounds nice! Yes college exchange, I definitely made a mistake in not joining any clubs , I thought I was gonna be too busy with academics and once I realised it was too late. But that’s ok, I still had a wonderful experience and made lots of friends! What’s meant to be will be!!
If you want to make friends in Japan, go to high school or university in Osaka, Nara, Wakayama? Also learn everything about the Japanese way of living the best you can? Be curious, open minded, curtious, industrious and ambitious and friendly and integral and punctual.
Enjoyed the video! I did have an experience trying to make friends in a foreign country. I think partly it was my age and partly my lack of people skills in general. I talked to everyone and everyone and eventually found some good friends.
I'm currently walking across Japan, so my experience has very much been hopping from place to place. But I agree, meeting people is easy, but meeting up again becomes a lot more difficult. I've made friends I wish to hang out with more, but because of the nature of my travels and the work schedule in Japan it is often impossible. It does become quite lonely, because I do struggle building a deeper connection with people. But at the same time, I've built up a large social circle throughout the country, so wherever I go, I have someone to meet up with for some drinks. Just gotta give them a month+ notice lol.
Wow, very cool. I like taking long walks here pretry often, so I would love to walk across the country someday. Do you have a fully remote job that you check in with everyday? Or are you living off of savings?
@@william_in_japan mix of savings and freelance work. walking across the country has been a major challenge though, so be careful what you get yourself into lol. If you have time for a smaller trip, I recommend exploring Nikko, the mountains near Hakodate, or Noboribetsu
When I think of social isolation, I think of the Hikikomori phenomena, something I feel like im going through but Im not Japanese nor in Nihon itself. Maybe this is part of that struggle, people are busy and won't shift their lives some to meet yours
Maybe, but I don't think they are actively difficult to make friends with, just that many people aren't talkative with strangers enough to get to know them.
I’m based in the US and work from home. I’ve never met my coworkers. I think this is pretty common for tech jobs in the US. Does this sort of thing happen in Japan? I’m just thinking that mean no nomikais
Hello there ,young man! I just subscribed to your channel. Thanks for sharing your opinions with us Btw can you make a video with info about yourself? I mean how you ''ended'' working in Japan and your past in the USA? Also how old are you etc... you seem very young. I am kinda busy right now and haven't watched all of your videos but only 2-3 ... Have a nice one there,thanks for reading my comment.
@@william_in_japan I was very extroverted when residing in Tokyo, and it was still challenging making genuine japanese friends that were male. Often seemed that way in multiple east asian countries though. Thankfully the females have been MUCH more friendly usually. Congratulations on the waifu👍🏻
Thats a good point dude but yeah after experiencing working in Japan on a ワーホリ and working for a Japanese company you really have to push the extrovert side of you to the max... Ik thats hard for some people but I think being an extrovert really helps you push the social norms in a way when your in Japan (not saying that im a full extrovert but I'd say I'm somewhat between an introvert and a extrovert) but yeah its hard I feel regardless you have to actively push yourself out of your comfort zone to make friends and experience cool situations but regardless it will happen if you put in the effort it did for me anyways even though my Japanese was nowhere near as good as it is now (it still sucks 😆), But if you make it that you're driving the conversation most of time the time I felt like that worked for me even though my Japanese was broken as fuck and just kept it flowing because notably I noticed that most Japanese people weren't open to just outright say stuff about their 趣味 or 仕事 or w/e you kind of have to just drive the conversation in that direction but yeah it can be hard... But push through bro you have the Japanese skills try to find groups or meetups that match your hobbies or interests and I'm sure you'll find people that genuinely care about you and want to hang out with you on maybe not a regular basis due to work but more often than every few months you got this bro.
I am a Japanese man living in Thailand now. Japanese salarymen often prioritize work schedules and drinking parties (飲み会) over spending time with friends. In my view, this tendency is rooted in the country's collectivist culture. The "village rules (村の掟社会)" mindset was built over centuries in Japan's isolated island society, where survival depended on group harmony and adherence to unspoken rules. However, globalization and internet-driven individualism are gradually eroding its relevance. Anyway, if I were living in Japan now, I’d love to be friends with you! :)
Thank you for your comment! That makes sense! It definitely feels like one of the strongest indications of a collectivist culture that is still standing.
In some ways, I hate to see individualism erode the collectivist culture; but, if it helps people feel less stress after work, then maybe a little less can be a good thing. Or just people viewing less nomikai's as being better for their peers. A sort of "newly informed collectivism" maybe 😊 Hit me up if you're ever back in Japan! Hope you're having a great life in Thailand
@@william_in_japan Thank you for your thoughtful reply! 😊 I completely agree that a "newly informed collectivism" could strike a great balance between harmony and personal freedom. It's not just the nomikai culture, but also late-night meetings, and the excessive "customer-first(≒Omotenashi)" mindset that can add stress to Japanese workers. For example, in some big advertising agencies, it's not uncommon for creatives to receive calls even at 2 a.m. to meet last-minute demands.
Finding ways to make work-life balance better while keeping the positive aspects of collectivism would be ideal. If I ever return to Japan, it would be great to connect! Thailand has been wonderful so far, but there are many things about Japan I still love. 😊 Thanks again for your kind words, and I hope you're doing great too!
a 4 day work week seems the way to go for Japan in the near future
interesting 村の掟 / むらのおきて I think you can make many friends in Japan but much of social life is related to drinking so its a bit bad for you but I had lots of friends in Japan. It did take me a long time to adjust to life in Japan. seemed like the first 5 years were challenging but you just have to persevere. Well at least you’re not an English teacher so thats nice. I saw many English teachers with horrible jobs and so frustrated living in Japan. I loved living in Japan but I didnt like my employer and the kuyakusho stuff. I finally left because covid was going on for so long. I want to go back but maybe I should go to a different country. But I speak a lot of Japanese. Maybe take a java bootcamp and try again? But Im ojisan now.
@@william_in_japan
Hi William,
Your video Life in Japan means having no friends really resonated with me and inspired me to create my own video exploring a related topic-Japan’s work culture and karoshi.
I’ve mentioned your video in my description as a source of inspiration, and I wanted to share my work with you: [ua-cam.com/video/vwrwVtv6iSc/v-deo.htmlsi=foIWbH6mAxO5C6gy].
Thank you for being such an inspiration and for sharing your unique perspective about life in Japan!
I am returning to Japan after a very long time. The very fact that people keep each other at a distance is a big plus for me. The various international centers are great., because you can drop in for an hour or two, and if you want to go to dinner with a group of people you like, you can . But there are no obligations. Don't know if there are so many of those around anymore, though.They used to be in every big - mid size city.
This rings so close to home as someone who just returned from exchange in Japan a few months ago. I’ve never felt so lonely and alienated in my entire life to when I was in Japan. Like I had friends, but no one who I could casually invite to hang out on the weekend or even on the same day and they would actually come, and it wasn’t for lack of trying. Japanese acquaintances were always nice but there’s that same issue that you mentioned that you have to plan things 1-2 months in advance if you want to hang out with them, it was easier to plan things with foreign friends but most people I met in my dorm were already people who knew each other from the other semester so it was kind of hard to mingle in that midst and in general form deeper connections. That’s the only thing that makes me hesitate in moving to Japan in the future
I'm guessing you mean college exchange right? I wonder if joining a club might have been better.
When I was in language school, I made a lot of good international friends, so during that period I wasn't so lonely. Now that I am in a company full-time, honestly it helps fight loneliness, because everyone is very friendly. I just don't hang out with anyone outside of work events yet.
I think everyone just gets in groups and pretty much schedules most everything as group events here.
Well if you are in college, joining a club is the go to way for socializing. This is at least the trend in asian countries, in my country, NO ONE will hangout with you if you just walk up to them and ask. They will in fact find it weird, joining a literature club, or the football club etc is the only way of finding people to hangout with in college. That's the reason why there is every kind of club in college.
@@william_in_japan That sounds nice! Yes college exchange, I definitely made a mistake in not joining any clubs , I thought I was gonna be too busy with academics and once I realised it was too late. But that’s ok, I still had a wonderful experience and made lots of friends! What’s meant to be will be!!
If you want to make friends in Japan, go to high school or university in Osaka, Nara, Wakayama? Also learn everything about the Japanese way of living the best you can? Be curious, open minded, curtious, industrious and ambitious and friendly and integral and punctual.
Finnish guy living in Kanagawa, let me know if you want a foreign friend ✌🏼
Moi! Suomalainen joka muuttamassa Japaniin lähitulevaisuudessa. Etsin tällä hetkellä ohjelmistokehittäjän töitä Japanista.
I'm just on the other side of Tokyo! It might be cool to meet-up in Tokyo sometime! Message me on discord if you'd like
Enjoyed the video!
I did have an experience trying to make friends in a foreign country. I think partly it was my age and partly my lack of people skills in general. I talked to everyone and everyone and eventually found some good friends.
If you’re in Tokyo and like to drink or smoke, meeting people is easy
Making long term friends… eh yeah
I'm currently walking across Japan, so my experience has very much been hopping from place to place. But I agree, meeting people is easy, but meeting up again becomes a lot more difficult. I've made friends I wish to hang out with more, but because of the nature of my travels and the work schedule in Japan it is often impossible.
It does become quite lonely, because I do struggle building a deeper connection with people. But at the same time, I've built up a large social circle throughout the country, so wherever I go, I have someone to meet up with for some drinks. Just gotta give them a month+ notice lol.
Wow, very cool. I like taking long walks here pretry often, so I would love to walk across the country someday. Do you have a fully remote job that you check in with everyday? Or are you living off of savings?
@@william_in_japan mix of savings and freelance work. walking across the country has been a major challenge though, so be careful what you get yourself into lol. If you have time for a smaller trip, I recommend exploring Nikko, the mountains near Hakodate, or Noboribetsu
When I think of social isolation, I think of the Hikikomori phenomena, something I feel like im going through but Im not Japanese nor in Nihon itself. Maybe this is part of that struggle, people are busy and won't shift their lives some to meet yours
never planning to live in japan but this is a very interesting and insightful channel, very enjoyable keep up the good work ☺☺👍👍👍👍
Thank you!
Hi William,
You mentioned your Chinese friends in Japan and Im curious how you met them? Would love to hear a little about that
I met them studying at language school together! I am planning a video about my time at language school. Thank you for your comment!
@@william_in_japan I guess anything that's a "school" is a friend-making environment.
It’s even difficult to begin a topic with Japanese people…they’re very kind but are difficult to make friends 😭
Maybe, but I don't think they are actively difficult to make friends with, just that many people aren't talkative with strangers enough to get to know them.
I’m based in the US and work from home. I’ve never met my coworkers. I think this is pretty common for tech jobs in the US. Does this sort of thing happen in Japan? I’m just thinking that mean no nomikais
Hello there ,young man!
I just subscribed to your channel.
Thanks for sharing your opinions with us
Btw can you make a video with info about yourself?
I mean how you ''ended'' working in Japan and your past in the USA?
Also how old are you etc... you seem very young.
I am kinda busy right now and haven't watched all of your videos but only 2-3 ...
Have a nice one there,thanks for reading my comment.
*No. Being non-japanese in japan sometimes may though, unless extroverted enough to overcome that somehow*
I am definitely not extroverted by nature. But I'm working on being more outgoing.
@@william_in_japan I was very extroverted when residing in Tokyo, and it was still challenging making genuine japanese friends that were male. Often seemed that way in multiple east asian countries though. Thankfully the females have been MUCH more friendly usually. Congratulations on the waifu👍🏻
Thats a good point dude but yeah after experiencing working in Japan on a ワーホリ and working for a Japanese company you really have to push the extrovert side of you to the max... Ik thats hard for some people but I think being an extrovert really helps you push the social norms in a way when your in Japan (not saying that im a full extrovert but I'd say I'm somewhat between an introvert and a extrovert) but yeah its hard I feel regardless you have to actively push yourself out of your comfort zone to make friends and experience cool situations but regardless it will happen if you put in the effort it did for me anyways even though my Japanese was nowhere near as good as it is now (it still sucks 😆), But if you make it that you're driving the conversation most of time the time I felt like that worked for me even though my Japanese was broken as fuck and just kept it flowing because notably I noticed that most Japanese people weren't open to just outright say stuff about their 趣味 or 仕事 or w/e you kind of have to just drive the conversation in that direction but yeah it can be hard... But push through bro you have the Japanese skills try to find groups or meetups that match your hobbies or interests and I'm sure you'll find people that genuinely care about you and want to hang out with you on maybe not a regular basis due to work but more often than every few months you got this bro.
I am Australian and I can relate to Japanese 100%
finding a spot to be a regular is good. find multiple spots to be a regular at! one day at a time.
5:52 doo doo hehe
🤌🏻
@ 冗談です🤭
Loads of people want to practice English.
Play soccer?
Or make online friends in Japan on 2 Channel?
Do you have a Japanese wife?
Yes!
Make Japan great! 🇯🇵
I have 7 Japanese friends from highschool and community college. I have 10 total.