You cast “Vicious Mockery”. What do you say to hurt your opponent? part2
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- Опубліковано 9 вер 2024
- You cast “Vicious Mockery”. What do you say to hurt your opponent?
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(On passing my save against Vicious Mockery) “Careful there. Where I come from, it is considered bad luck to use your entire vocabulary in a single sentence.”
I'm pretty sure you just forcefully cast power word kill with a cantrip
Reverse UNO
Vicious Mockery: I bet you carry milk in your water skin in hope of that it will give your father a reason to come back.
You're supposed to mock them not murder them
“When you get to Hell, tell them I sent you. And then apologize for the inconvenience.”
Is exploding a requirement for it to work?
@Oliver-Thyella I see you understood what I was referencing.
Where you see one guy, I C4~
@@carebloodlaevathein6732he was a-
I used this in my campaign and none of my players got it instead they just accused me of creating a dmpc
"Your parents will never love you."
It made the DM cry. I am no longer allowed to play a bard.
God damn, musta struck a nerve. XD
It is a simple, yet effective spell.
maybe it was too irl?
"Bloody hell, casting Feeblemind on you might *improve* your personality."
Ouch
Shout in a French accent "YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMSTER!"
And you're father is an elder berry
@@zambekillerit’s “smells of elderberries”
It looks like you’re being sued for plagiarism by multiple parties because of how unoriginal your backstory is.
You didn't have to go that hard.
This should be called murderous mockery
"I'd describe your hideousness, but I'm getting really tired of the slander lawsuits I get from the things I compare you to."
"Cthulhu said he won't wake up because he'll have to look at you if he does."
"You're the only vampire ugly enough to scare away sunlight."
In group it is a running joke that when you roll a 1 when casting Vicious Mockery all you can say is Deez Nuts.
Do you mean for damage? The enemy rolls to save against Vicious Mockery, you don’t roll to attack.
@@Morbidity100Ah the pathfinder 2 version is an attack spell and you roll to attack like a ranged attack.
@@MasterElementsThat sounds so much more useful.
@@robinthrush9672Pathfinder 2 is dope on so many levels, highly recommend
Here's one, "Out of curiosity, did your birth cause your mom to be placed in the asylum, or was it your intelligence?"
My signature insult from my half-elf ranger is "I'm surprised you've never heard of the ugly tree since you hit every branch on the way down."
I had a friend who used southern lady insults:
"Aw bless your heart, they're just _plain people,_ and there's nothing wrong with that."
"Aw he's so confused, he doesn’t know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt!"
"Hmmm. That form is a little like putting lipstick on a pig, isn’t it?"
"I don’t care what anybody says. I think she’s pretty . . . in her _own way."_
"It’s not their fault they weren’t raised right..."
"You march to your own drummer, don’t you, sweetheart? Good for you. Good for you..."
The passive aggressive mockery was perfect.
Honestly these would hurt more thsn a normal insult
Southern Hostility.
"I hope you didn't plan on leading a virtuous life, otherwise after this there will be no heaven and _ten_ hells...the tenth being reserved for spending eternity with you."
"Don't be mad that I'm insulting you, be grateful that I'm paying more attention to you than your parents ever did."
"You know, tarrasques are only considered immune to being frightened because, apparently, none of them have ever seen your face."
“I believe all beings are perfectly made to be themselves, but that does not mean I can’t be disappointed by what that perfection is.”
I was having a disagreement with the party druid, so I told him "Your garden was overgrown and your cucumbers are soft." Dm asked me to roll vicious mockery.
"I have eaten root vegetables I respect more than you."
"Did you outsource your personality?"
"If laughter is the best medicine, your visage must be curing all the ails of the land."
"I'm not insulting you, sir. I'm describing you."
"I'm jealous of those who have never seen you!"
friend of mine had a story that might fit here:
BBEG is giving a speech about getting revenge for his brother, whom the party killed
one player: "who?"
DM: *spends 8 minutes IRL frantically searching for notes*
BBEG: *canonically spends that same amount of time dying inside during that*
bro pulled a "do you have the slightest idea how little that narrows it down?"
Should've followed it up with "cares"
"At first I thought I would let you kill me to not have to see your face anymore, but I rather it not be the last thing I see."
"I'll pay you any amount of money if you don't sing"
-seto kaiba, yugioh abridged
"You could drastically increase your net worth by merely becoming compost"
"pandas mate more often than you" is the most cute yet the rudest insult i've ever heard !
Bob Ross will not call you a happy accident. He will call you a mistake.
I could have been your father but a dog beat me up the stairs.
BRUTAL
💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
“Fighting you is more disappointing than finding a cookie tin filled with sewing supplies. Because at least the sewing supplies have a purpose.”
At 1st lvl against a Giant Rat, “Hey Ratatouille! Your five star Soufflé is just Five 1 star Yelp Reviews.”
*_"Your mother was an elf!"_*
*_~ Blit Sniksnik, Goblin bard_*
... And your father smells of elderberries...
@@minimalbstolerance8113 now leave before I'm forced to insult you for a second time
my current campaign character would of made a comeback saying "at least my mother was able to seduce a dragon than a ogre with an ugly face to whom you worship"
"Yeah, well you're a blit."
Your existence is the funniest joke in the world (bonus points for anyone who gets the Monty Python reference, and the implications)
My centaur bard used vicious mockery on a snake-like creature last session. "You slimy, egg-laying salamander, I'm gonna make you into a pair of boots! And I don't even wear boots! That's how useless you are!"
It got a great reaction from my fellow players.
i got one
(bard dwarf)
"you khow in my country we say a dwarf is a dish prepared with the most care to make it as great as a dwarf can be BUT YOU WOULD TASTE SO BAD EVEN PIGS WOULDNT WANT YOU"
I got one!
"This fight is so boring, I almost wish you'd just kill me and put me out of my misery... but we both know that's not possible."
[Crying] "It's not the size that matters; it's how you use it!"
Is... is that a butterknife? The sword matches the manhood ya know.
DM: how do you insult it?
Bard: it's a wasp, that's not that hard
Just bee thankful that it's a wasp and not a Japanese murder hornet hehe, 😅
@@Dualbladedscorpion7737well, it was a giant wasp...
I gotta hit um with the "Your mother has a job and is a respected member of the community"
"No one talks about my mom that way!" God, I love Billy and Mandy.
@@greenapple9477 Hell yeah found a real one. It's cool that the show still holds up to.
"You're a 3rd rate Dungeon Master with 4th rate dice" said Kaiba.
Which was really said by our DM as we were roleplaying a dnd session in our yugioh themed dnd session.... Dnd Inception if you will
We had quite a hilarious encounter in our last session. Our DM finished off the session before by saying ‘the black inky mass you see at the of the stone stairway turns out to be a Black Pudding. See you guys in 2 weeks.’ All of us groaned when we heard this and actually started to considering having new characters, since one of the other players (paladin) had experience of fighting against this creature in another campaign and it didn’t end well for one of her companions. Luckily, another of our players in game managed to identify what would help us. After we broke up for the session, we started planning for 2 weeks straight about what would be the best strategy. We had never been this concerned about any other creature in the game so far. 2 weeks comes and goes and we all meet up, eager to get this over with and hope for the best. Everyone rolled initiative. Ranger rolled high, so he went first. Both attacks miss. My Cleric rolled 2nd highest and instead of my first choice of using Beacon of Hope, I used Sacred Flame. I ended up doing critical damage. Next was Blood Hunter. He does crit damage as well. Paladin was after. Guess what? She used Guiding Bolt and that was a critical hit. In a space of 3 people, the Black Pudding was nothing more than a messy black sludge on the floor with the player playing as the Wizard a little upset he wasn’t able to get a Fireball in. The DM wasn’t certain what to say apart from ‘…well done’. As one of players put it best, imagine if the monster was doing nothing but chilling out at home, when suddenly, we come charging in, ramming down the door, and firing spells at it. After calming down, we continue on to the next part of our adventure.
Every breath you take without my permission sickens me, i request you stop.
- bard taking out a bounty
"The most _____________ part of you dried up on your mothers thigh!" (talented for a bard, faithful for a cleric, etc etc its a multipurpose burn)
I wrote several lyrics for my first bard to use for Vicious Mockery, so here's one of them:
Good sir, I got som news for you
And don't take this the wrong way
Your face belongs inside a zoo
Behind the bars on display
But don't be sad I'll be there too
But mostly just to laugh at you
You smell like a hog
That was shot on the sight
It's a miracle if you can sleep at night
(To the melody of ""Rövarnas visa" by Smatterbandet.)
„Half the elf, twice the daddy issues!“ Antrius the Great
Here's one I read a while ago and really liked "Your none of your best friends, best friend"
I’ve seen that one too 😂😂😂😂😂
That is good, but I personally think it's a bit too vague. What about, "All of the people you consider to be a best friend only think of you as an acquaintance!".
@@adamschank7703 yeah, that would definitely be good for vicious mockery.
@@adamschank7703 dang that shattered even my self confidence
If your life was a book, it could only be sold as fire-starter.
"You're so pathetic that when they tried to burn you at the stake, the fire got indignant!"
"Here, let me help you achieve your greatest purpose in life: decomposing for the plants at your feet!"
LAST THING YOU VANQUISHED WAS YO MAMAS RESPECT FOR YOU
ANDDD the
YOU ONLY COMMIT CRIMES ONE 😂😂
"You're probably not the most oxygenated trout in the river, are you ?"
"I didn't know non-dragonborn got breath weapons."
"You're how old?! Damn, all that time and yet you still haven't amonted to anything."
"I envy everyone you've never met"
I LOVE the vicious mockery videos 🥰🥰🥰😂😂😂
“Wow! I am profoundly impressed by how utterly incompetent you are”
“With your build, we would’ve mistaken you for Themberchaud… but dear god you are so much worse.”
"I bet you can't make a starving succubus sign a pact with you. Bonus if she sends herself back to avernas via seppuku."
My players used vicious mockery to make a turtle necromancer scared of the word "Dinner" forever
My current bard didn't pick up vicious mockery, but this has inspired me to put something down:
"I see you're wanted dead or alive, so we flipped a coin to decide your fate. That's the only coin we'll see from this endeavor."
We need a part 3
You were never weaned is my bards go to.
The sirens stopped singing, bringing you aboard was a wise choice
I've been waiting to find a lich for this one: "I once met a hobo who learned magic all by himself and he could still cast better magic then you ever did in your entire lifetime."
Your successes in life make me feel good about my own failures
"Atrocious thing! I would pay any amount of gold to never gaze upon you again!"
4:31 I knew I heard this one before and it was extremely savage then, this time is still good
"The beholder had to look away from you, or it would explode from the sight of your face."
Love that tabaxi line.
"They say one should not speak ill of the dead. So to you I say: Nice try."
~Spoken to a group of bandits by the party Paladin.
An intellect devourer stunned itself trying to eat your intellect.
It's adapted from a TV show quote, but I think a good one would be "If your personality was a spice, it would be flour."
The one about intelligence below room temperature is even more devastating if you use Celsius, because that would be around 20 😂
I wasn't expecting a "Weakest LInk" reference. That was a treat.
“You’ve made me want to learn enchantment magic solely so I can make myself forget this experience”
I would say you're compensating for something, but that would imply you have anything to compensate for.
"Rule is that every life is precious. You, whatever you are, are clearly an exception to that rule."
“Trust me, this’ll be over quick. If his lovers are to be trusted, it will only take a single stroke.” -my sword’s bard in a public duel, to the prince’s fiancé.
"your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries" will always be a classic
make it more dnd based: "your mother was a Harengon and your father attracts bees"
harengon have a similarly high birth rate to rabbits and bees are attracted to honey which is the base for mead so they are the same insults
I say to the ork, thank you for that wonderful vegetable soup recipe.
"Please, Ive seen Galatians Cubes with more Charisma then you!"
Me to an Oathbreaker: "How does it feel to be Rejected by your Own Oath?"
Oh my word
"Don't even say that now you have nothing to lose. Three reasons as to why. One, and the most obvious of which, it's a cliche. Two, you had nothing to start with. And three, that just makes you an easier target."
“Your parents clearly rolled a natural one making your face.”
“You have the worth of a level one fiend.”
“Hey pal did you just blow in from stupid town”
"shaking it more than twice is playing with it"
2:31 "Such a weird insult!" and yet upon looking at the First Edition beholder, I somehow recognized a few people I've seen in my life. 🤣
The first edition drawings of just about anything look pretty bad these days.
@@trishapellis True.
“I would cast_*REPEL MAIDENS*_ on you, but I see another wizard has beaten me to it!”
My character once accused a fiend, in its native language, of having a loving consensual relationship with a celestial. Not, alas, as part of casting Vicious Mockery.
"I can now tell why three whole families, found or otherwise, decided they didn't want your ass."
"According to Aristotle, a man is what he does repeatedly. Unfortunately for me, that means I am your mother."
3:03 the editor has earned my respect
0:34 the Brock Sampson impression is on point.
4:32 May Jo-cat be remembered fondly.
"Ask not "Who the hell do you think you are?!"; ask "Who will even think of you in Hell?" "
I was a DM in highschool. Some of my favorites from my players or myself from the two campaigns I ran.
"What kind of repugnant Swine do you believe yourself to be?" (BBEG Bard Taunting the party before demension dooring away)
"I knew a Narcisistic Drug addict with a Temperment problem that I would put more trust in than you." (The quiet member of the group playing a Bard for the first time in a oneshot)
'I'd say the barbarian bludgeoning you with his hammer would probably fix your face, but we are Adventurers not Plastic Surgeons."
"What's the matter, seeing double?" (Has Mirror Image up, starting a fight at a Tavern with a drunkard in the Fight pit)
"How many times do I have to say it: just because you have a shit eating grin, doesn't mean you should literally eat shit to have it." (After the monk crit twice on a stunned target and was pummeling the poor bastard in the dirt.)
"I would say 'slow down', but if you were any slower, you'd have an IQ comparable to a Freshly salted snail." (The wizard had just cast slow after the party cleric Bane'd them)
"Wait, what was that?" Followed by a "What?" Every round to heckle the hell out of them. (*Insert the Stone cold "What?" chant here.*)
"Damn, that looked like it hurt. Hello? Is there anybody home" *proceeds to knock on their head narratively as a free action*
There are more but some are vile and would definitely get banned.
"You used standard array and still got a 3 in intelligence?"
"Oh gosh, I'm sorry! I truly didn't realize the only language you speak is Charlie Brown teacher."
*Counts up on fingers* "2, that is how many genocides it takes to offset killing you"
"If raccoons are trash pandas what does that make you an otyughs crap after taco hell". (bell)
Love the club penguin dojo music 😂❤❤
"Your delusions of adequacy will be your undoing"
Were your visage committed to canvas, good sir, the artist would require neither hammer nor nail... For a painting so wretched would surely HANG ITSELF!
Here's this one: "This is a waste of a spell slot."
Just a few off the top of my head.
"You look like you have a favorite crayon flavor."
"They say it's nearly impossible to make a Golem out of dung, but here you stand."
"You are the reason the fighter took blind fighting"
"You are less dangerous than a paralyzed squirrel"
"You are the reason your father went to market and never returned"
"They say a life domain cleric can heal any issue, but I don't think even the gods can heal *gestures limply* whatever that is"
"I bet you get this all the time, but you have the face of a writer"
"Ahh, now I get why it smells like a Sewer in here"
(to an orc) Gruumsh must've had his eye closed when he made you.