I'm so sorry. I had no idea what I was doing. I've been made aware of my mistake. no more hitting on innocent people who don't want my (smokin' hot) bod.
Ash Hardell gosh Ash! I just got my tonsils out and am taking a crap ton of narcotics, so those sleepy doped up texts could totally be a thing! Also love you and Grace and your fur babies bunches!
@@1co293 sexuality and "genital preference" are intertwined. we ARE talking about that. like seriously, how deep does your delusion run? for example, 100% straight men don't like dick. thats why they're straight. the same way 100% straight women arent attracted to boobs and vagina because they're STRAIGHT. The same way 100% gay guys dont like women and lady parts, thats literally the whole point of being gay. This gender idealogy has you so far removed from reality...
Jupiter you aren't wrong. But going on about it and stating that trans people are outside your preference is. To spell it out for you. It's ok not to date trans people. Just shut the fuck up about it. No one is coming into your home and forcing you to date them. But reminding them every five minutes that you exclude them IS hurting them.
Mijochda: No ones is going around telling trans that they are not in a dating pool. It was a bunch of transtrender stating all this because they have been rejected (likely because they are just disgusting people). So, your affirmation is a lie. And if you get offended and traumatised every time you get rejected, maybe you should work on that and not the rest of the world.
Mijochda If you wanna fucking blame someone, blame Riley. She's the one who started all of this by making videos calling people transphobic just because they're only attracted to certain genitals.
@@ivorygoth8849 A close friend of mine is trans and I love him a ton but still wouldn't date a trans person. It's like calling a gay guy sexist because he wouldn't date a woman.
As someone who is trans, I would not think it's transphobic if someone wasn't sexually attracted to me because of my genitalia. Just don't tell me that unless we were CONSIDERING DATING
I think an exception can be made if your trying to discuss the morality of hiding your biological sex from a partner. I wouldn’t say “You” specifically but if I were having a discussion like that, I might bring up how I’d feel in the event that someone hid such a thing from me, because I’d want to defend how someone might feel in such a situation.
@@Envision_ stonewall was led by trans people you absolute goon. Without trans people you would have the rights you enjoy now. The gay rights movement was made possible by trans people. You can't change history because of your transphobic beliefs.
@@Eza_yuta trans people's agenda is the same as gay people's -- being granted the human decency and respect they deserve to be themselves. Being gay doesn't mean you can't still be a bigot.
Éliottulio Camaradonge that Is still not transphobic. If I was transphobic I would either dislike or be scared of trans people which I am not. Your are not transphobic for not wanting to date them, regardless of your reason.
@@eliottuliocamaradonge2706 well im happily a deplorable transphobe because i believe in the biology and common sense i was taught for 10 years But hey thats just me... an actual biologist.
Ash, again I love ya, but there is a reason why a lot of people are saying this (specifically online). It's mostly because a lot of people are posting the fact that not dating a transperson because they have the wrong genitals is transphobic (i.e. Riley J. Dennis). Because you identify differently than what is considered normal (not saying that the way you identify is incorrect or wrong in anyway, just that it's away from the ordinary) people might feel the obligation to say they wouldn't date a transperson, or someone who is non-binary etc. I have no issues with you identifying the way you want to, being married, etc. I'm only stating that the reason why these people are posting videos is because of the fact that many Social Justice youtubers are saying it's transphobic. Thank you for your video, love ya, have a nice day.
Phobia [foh-bee-uh] (noun): an intense, persistent, irrational fear of a specific object, activity, situation, or person that manifests in physical symptoms such as sweating, trembling, rapid heartbeat, or shortness of breath, and that motivates avoidance behavior. Are genital preferences transphobic? No.
@@eugenemotes9921 you absolutely decimated the trans agenda i think you just converted me, how can words not be real? lmao goofy ass arrogance is a choice and you obviously picked it :)
Misia = From Ancient Greek μῖσος (mîsos, “hatred”) or μῑσέω (mīséō, “to hate”) (+ -ia); attested since at least the 1950s. Devised as an alternative to the suffix -phobia, which etymologically (and clinically) denotes fear, though it is also widely used in English to denote hatred.
I get why you did this, but there's an legitimate response to the "cotton ceiling" theory that's been going around. It's fucked up and a lot of lesbian women are responding to that. It's not random.
That basically means I can identify as a woman for an evening, hit on a lesbian and call her transphobic if she rejects me. You guys are absolutely insane
Jamesy Bumholes Hey maybe you should not comment on other people's weight when what they're talking about has nothing to do with their weight or their want for popularity or whatever you think she's talking about
I know you are being facetious and this video is funny but here's the thing: I spent 14 or 15 years thinking being bi/pan was the most 'enlightened' sexuality to have and actively guilt tripped myself into having almost no sexual boundaries out of a misguided attempt to not 'discriminate'. What Reily and Fiona and everyone else who push this message don't seem to understand is that discrimination in a romantic or sexual context is a skill some people actually have trouble learning and is in no way the same as discrimination against minority groups in the legal sense of the word. Things changed for me and I needed to conceptualize my sexuality a bit differently to feel like I had real autonomy and in order to do that I had to be able to learn how to even *visualise* having sexual boundaries let alone enforce them when it came to consent. It seemed like as soon as I had come to this fairly difficult realisation, everyone around me seemed to be pushing this message that I have to think of my sexuality in the way *they* wanted me to or I was a bigot. I hope this explains why lots of people are upset with some of this discourse.
We're upset with this discourse because this is straight up homophobia. There is no way around it. A "no" is a "no" and trying to get gay people to "unlearn" their sexuality is just gross.
It’s because most are white and privileged and outside of being trans, don’t really seem to get what it’s like to truly be discriminated for your existence or having your existence “denied”. They only experienced it after transitioning, so they somehow think it’s comparable to racial discrimination, which just comes off as ignorant.
People who do that are homofobic, as a lesbian trans woman, everybody has a right to choose which genitalia they like to have sex with. And as a trans woman we need to tell these things to cis woman and cis woman need to say they re preferences. And not saying these things when almost having sex or when almost dating.
Date who you want... Don't tell me you will *NEVER NEVER NEVER* date me unless i asked you out... Why do you think the fact that i'm into your gender means i'm into you...
I quite agree with you. Shame this person doesn't. They seem to be under the impression that if you're attracted to one gender or sex, you must be attracted to every individual in that gender or sex: twitter.com/Awesomwott/status/896638180555993088 Sorry about labouring the point, but I just wanted to offer the perspective who doesn't find this issue to be particularly unsolicited, at least not in every case. But I'm pretty sure most of you find these people particularly unsavoury... If not, feel free to explain it to me.
Toby Martin This tweet has some mistakes in it, If you are into non binary people, you don't have to be pansexual, Some people are only into biological males/females, but they would date a non binary person in the sex they are attracted, Edited* I said here something and then realized i used the wrong words, Hating all trans people because they are trans is transphobic, Not being into a trans person is totally cool👍 Being awsome is awsome, keep doing that❤💙💚💛💜
Ash, these videos aren't coming out of nowhere. They are responses to certain people (riley j dennis and her girlfriend specifically) saying that someone's sexuality is wrong because they aren't attracted to certain genitals. In most cases, sexual attraction and romantic attraction are very intertwined with each other, for instance sex is an important part of a romantic relationship to a whole lot of people. That is where people are saying they wouldn't date a trans person, but they are more talking about having sex with them.
I don't think having genitals preferences is transphobic, but loudly announcing them to any and all trans people you meet definitely is. Assuming you know what genitals someone has is also transphobic.
How is it NOT transphobic? The fact that a man has a vagina makes him trans. Rejecting him because of said vagina despite you being into men because you're a straight woman or a gay man is literally transphobic by definition. That's the whole point about "Your body is okay the way it is" and "It's okay for women to have a penis".
@@ivorygoth8849 Scott Ryder I am so sorry if my vagina is transphobic, I try not to be, but literally my downstairs live it's own life and can't get wet with certain anatomy. Again I'm so sorry on behalf of my vag. Have a nice day!
people keep making videos on how they won't date trans people because everyone started claiming they were transphobic for not wanting to date trans people. I don't believe it is wrong for them to speak out about the issue, join in on the conversation, and defend themselves (and not just accept being called transphobic by people). Discussion is how issues are solved, on youtube discussion just happens in this way. If you don't want to hear about what people have to say, then simply don't watch it, nobody is forcing you to. Unlike your analogies, nobody is actually personally coming up and telling you they won't sleep with you because you are trans, a more accurate analogy would be like seeing the description of a lecture that is happening about why gay men and this gay male lecturer in particular won't sleep with women, and choosing to walk in and join the audience in listening (and now wondering why this guy is talking about why he won't sleep with women). You don't care about what these people have to say about their own sexuality, just as a lot of people don't care about what you have to say about being trans or polyamorous; you don't have to be part of their audience if you don't want to and they don't have to be part of your audience if they don't want to. anyways, I'm just saying that it's not completely unfair or wrong for these people to be making their videos about not having sex with trans people, there's nothing wrong with talking about things on a website that is made for talking about things and on their channel which is about.. them.
The internet is weird. It isn’t like real life interactions. People make grandiose statements that would seem awkward in real life. No one should care who someone else isn’t having sex with, but it’s become a back and forth thing on the internet, so now everyone has to have a stance. 🙄
I'm a Lesbian, and honestly having a genital prefrence is not transphobic. I am not sexually fascinated with the penis - male or female. In fact, there are also transgender people who have genital prefrence as well!
it's very simple, most dudes don't want to date a dude. so regardless of what you think you are, you're not a woman then males won't date you. I'd rather date a tomboy as that is still a woman. I don't fancy fencing
Well, people say it, because some other people on UA-cam say that it IS transphobic to have genital preferences. So yeah. Nobody asked them either to tell their opinion. If they can, people with a different opinion can also state theirs
Exactly, they are addressing the people who claim that it is, not trans-people in general. This video is not addressing the issue at all, it's mocking people who dare to stand up to that accusation and let the world know that it's not acceptable. There are growing cases of gay women having been pressured into dating transwomen because they are in this world and are genuinely afraid that if they refuse, they will be labelled as transphobic, there's this push to accept the idea that transwomen are 'just women' and that there's no difference at all. This idea erases sexual boundaries as in order to maintain that boundary, you have to admit the reality, which is that for all you might virtue signal the rest of the time, you know transwomen ARE still men. Then these women get trapped between what they know is reality and their ideology. Between a rock and a hard place, basically. It's good for those women to hear that no, actually, it's okay to only want to date biological females, you are not a bad person for that. The video doesn't even address how wrong it is for anyone to try to overstep someone's sexual boundaries in the first place. And to deny it happens, when you can go watch these videos is so disingenuous.
I came across this (at the time) 5 year old video looking for another. Others may know the video I'm referring to. In any case, the reason I'm commenting is because ash spends a good portion of this video drawing weird comparisons to other situations in which people announce their preferences of things. Problem is this video came out at a time when the likes of riley and others were running around telling you that is you had a preference that didn't allow for trans people, you were transphobic. Technically true, but in the age where phobias are treated as bad, this comes off as a stupid thing. It essentially means no doesn't mean no. If you're not allowed to say no to someone BECAUSE they are trans than there's a problem. So, not sure if this is addressed later in the video because it got repetitive very fast, but that is the reason many were announcing it, to hopefully help others realize how stupid it is to vilify those who say...no.
Wo would be so weak-minded to be persuaded by activists that they are bad phobes if they didn't date certain people? That's just crazy. The whole point of dating is to be with someone that you are really into. It is inherently discriminating, and that's OK.
Whatever your opinion is, can we all just agree that it's nobodies business who or what kind of person you're attracted to? Nobody 'owes' anyone attraction. Somebody likes you for you? Great! They don't? Just move on! Whatever your sexuality/gender/looks/anything is
genital preference for me is a very “sticky” issue, because while i 100% support anyone who’s transgender and their journey to becoming a different gender, i just don’t like penis. at all, but i do 100% support any trans person
I'm publicly ftm and I don't care what your genital preferences are. If you dont want what I've got I have NOTHING to gain by trying to get you to feel bad or forcing you to have sex with me. It just means we aren't compatible. Just cause I'd have sex with the dude or lady parts doesn't mean I think everyone should. They're missing out, not me. I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE WHO WOULD REFUSE MY GENITALIA, GODDAMNIT I've been sad when I've been rejected but it's not a big deal in the long run. Nothing will be gained by calling them transphobic because just like I can't change the fact that I'm trans and gay, I can't change the fact that someone else has their own preferences. Even if they give "other parts" a try, and honestly re-examine their sexuality, they may not decide its something they like. What's the point of having labels for sexuality if you have to sleep with someone on the basis of their gender identity anyway?
I LOVE SATIRE AND I LOVE LGTBQ+ TOPICS SO THIS IS HEAVEN (Or like a really good thing depending on your views on organized religion and proselytizing and the concept of reality). Great vid!
The past really is a different country, just the fact that you unironically say this and dont pass out from the cringe... in 2022 you would have been mauled to death for speaking like this
Look, it's not people just randomly stating thier preferences unwarrantedly. It's because people are being judged and called bigoted for their own personal sexual desires and that is not okay. It is completely justified for people to defend themselves when they are getting insulted and attacked. I get the humor in your video but you are disregarding the many members of your community that are calling people transphobic because of their views. It is not as completely random and unsolicited as you make it out to be.
Ash, I just want to let you know that I think you're super cute and attractive, but I would NEVER date you... ...because I am also married and monogamous.
I think Ask is cute and I don't identify, period. But I also think that everyone should just STOP talking about his whole topic. How can we say people are born gay, les, trans, ect, and THEN say your preferences make you prejudice? Should anyone really be telling people that if they don't have sex with someone based on their personality OR body, that they are inherently a bad person? I say no. I think LOVE IS LOVE. You like what you like -- and you don't what you don't -- no one should think they HAVE to like everything so they don't accidentally offend someone.
A lot of people wouldn't date me because I'm fat but I wouldn't drag them because of it. It's like, a new trend to drag people for their preferences and it sucks.
Corylus Bluefox - This whole debate was started by certain people from the trans community stating that if you do not wish to date a trans person then you are transphobic and it is this that has started a whole host of response videos. When you start any discussion then the opposing side has every right to have their say.
@Brittany D dream on. What percentage of trans people are "stealth". I'm sure it's extremely small. But even if it wasn't, no, no one has to be open to dating anyone, trans or otherwise. Because when someone discovers someone is trans, it is perfectly valid not to date them. You cant guilt anyone into dating you!
@Brittany D that's precisely what I expected from someone like you. The percentage does matter and you avoiding the answer says it all.😂 No, you can't destroy anything I say when you support an ideology that beliefs in usurping peoples sexual consent by fraud. No one has to date trans people, regardless of when they find out the person is trans.
I prefer people that are slim/athletic (cis) Latinas. It's crazy that I have to have so many words in my preferences nowadays. That doesn't mean I never find black/white/blonde/fat/trans unattractive. Welcome to the world of "socialism".
I am completely open about being ftm and I love that being trans is a part of my identity but it does bother me when people tell me randomly they would never date a trans person. Why do people feel they have to tell me this!?! Thanks for making this vid because it really helps me not feel alone
Also Ash I don't know if you even read these and if so I'm sure my comment won't stick out but I do want to tell you that your videos have been a huge help in my life! I've been watching you since you were on my drunk kitchen and your videos showed me that someone in the world was kind enough to show they cared about LGBT+ people and knowing even one person did gave me the strength to tell my family I was transgender. Thank you for all you have done for me even tho I know you will probably never know who I am I am grateful for everything you do
Lucas Rickman omg yes!! I already have this huge problem with myself bc of how i was born and being on Testosterone helps but when people say things like that I feel like there is something wrong with me
Have no fear! (or do, your choice, I myself have a fear of heights! lousy, no good for nothing heights...their a bunch of jerks...always changing colour to black, white and grey...wait, where was this going...oh yes) I (need a job) know how you're feeling (with your hands right?) because I here that too (as in never date a trans person) and I'm like '...o.k...' and then shrugs. Oh and mtf here! :D Have a great day...or night...afternoon?
Yeah, that sucks. My friends have told me multiple times that they'd never date an asexual person. It's irrelevant because I don't want to date them, and makes me feel like shit. I guess people saying they wouldn't date trans people is similar
Ash! First of all you look good af in this video! (I love Grace as well!) And second of all, regarding the title, I haven't seen many people necessarly saying they wouldn't date trans person, maybe pre-op And as a bisexual, even tho I don't relate, I get it. You can't choose your attraction to certain genitals. And honestly, if someone doesn't wanna date a trans person post-op, I understand it too. To some it's important to have biological children. I think this topic is very simple and I don't understand why this debate exists... but it does. I just wish it wasn't so heated and full of pettiness. Like you said: it's all good, chill out :)
Honestly, I've been "called out" after being asked multiple times by several "trans allies". Mainly a "what do you think about this so we can all attack you for how you feel" situation. When it comes to actual trans people I've had this problem 0% of the time.
There seems to be a lot of cross-purposes with this particular matter, and I'm not entirely sure if anyone quite gets the point...I'm certainly confused. One thing I will say is that the things I've seen being said concern people who haven't said they'd never date a trans person, but simply said they wouldn't be willing to sleep with someone with a particular phenotype or genitalia regardless of what gender they identify as, and people have said some pretty nasty things to them, including fabrications. Now, I don't doubt for a second that they are in the minority of overly enthusiastic people, and I am truly sorry that people have been sending you unsolicited things saying they'll never date you. I can imagine that would be rather irritating and insulting... Perhaps someone who's informed can explain in to me, as a cis person. One thing some people (again, I'm not trying to pin this on all trans people at all) have been saying, or at least how I interpreted it, is that lesbians unwilling to sleep with a woman with a penis should 'work through their issues.' That just sounds too much like homophobia to me - not that trans women aren't women, but rather it's like saying one's sexual orientation is theirs to control, or, God forbid, fix. I want to understand this as best I can, because the TERFs on Twitter are mistaking me for one of them, which is fucking horrifying...
Toby Martin its not about people not being willing to date a woman with a penis, its not being willing to date a trans woman - there are many trans women who do not have penises, so if the preference is about genitalia, then just excluding "trans women" is irrelevant. The main point of this video, however, is that people just offer up their genital preference unprompted and often in a very inappropriate manner (there is a comment higher up talking about how somewants wants "dick not pussy" or whatever, which is a good example of what ive heard real people actually say unprompted in person lol)
Toby Martin I made a post slightly above this one in response to a question something along the lines of "is it transphobic to have genital preferences?" I can't really link it and I'm on mobile, so I can't just copy said response, but it's there and highlights how I feel about the whole situation. It may give you more info ^^; Sorry for the inconvenience!!
Sebastian James Dillingham - I am not aware that this happens a lot. I am nearly 40 years old and I can honestly say that I have never had an unprompted discussion about “genital preferences” and I am not aware of anyone who has. This issue seems to have arisen from certain sections of the trans community who claim that not being attracted to to someone who is trans is transphobic and this has prompted a response from people defending their sexual orientation and their absolute right to date who they please without having to justify rejecting anyone . The idea of “ genital preferences’ being up for debate seems absurd and homophobic to me and it has predominantly been brought up by people from the trans community. I am a straight male who is attracted to biological females - this is based on biology and not bigotry!!!
Honestly, this issue has arisen because certain vocal members of the trans community call people (usually cis lesbians) transphobic for not dating trans people, apparently we have a vagina 'fetish', not a sexual orientation. This youtube video belittles the real issue - the fact cis women and to a lesser extent cis men who have specific sexual boundaries are bullied and excluded. This video implies is that the big issue is the people who say they won't date trans people, NOT the trans people (predominetly trans women) who make is so difficult for us to have sexual boundaries without being shamed for it. People wouldn't have to constantly state their sexual boundaries if vocal subsets of the trans community left us tf alone.
The core issue here is that people who derive their self worth or identity from others’ opinions will always have a fragile sense of self, as their identity is constantly changing- reflecting the predictable truth that people have differing opinions.
I love the humour and I know you haven't called anyone transphobic for not being into certain folks, but some have and that's where the reactions came from. That said, I think the number of response videos from certain individuals are ridiculous - but at the same time, you can see the people in them are really hurt and feel they have to defend themselves. In short, it's a huge mess and there is responsibility on all sides of the issue. No one is 100% to blame and no one (involved directly in the current situation) is 100% innocent either.
Genital preferences aren't transphobic, I don't think. If you aren't sexually attracted to someone with a vagina (or a penis), that's fine. Just be a respectful, decent human being about it. What is transphobic is being an asshole about it and insulting someone based on their genitals. If a trans person asks you out/hits on you and that isn't your cup of tea, then turn them down respectfully. :) Regardless, I love that you're so outspoken about these things. I really enjoyed this.
I know some people state it so no one who is transitioning can get the wrong idea. I am trans and I personally don't mind people stating their preferences. We all have them.
someone made a video saying that if you don't want to have sex with someone who is trans that makes you transphobic and many people are making response videos
Be happy, that you personally haven't experienced transpeople calling anyone transphobic, for not wanting to date them - because in my personal experience, I was coerced into a sexual relationship with a transwoman, a one-night thing, I felt used and awful about it and when I tried to come out about my experience, in a wicca facebook group in a thread about others talking about their SA's, I was absolutely rediculed by another transwoman, told that my r*pe was a lie, I was transphobic, laughed at and I ended up having a breakdown over it and then the facebook group kicked me out for being transphobic...
I had a bad experience a few months ago. Due to reasons I ended up having trauma and was very vocal after my 2nd boyfriend (I only realized then I picked up the trauma) and with my 3rd boyfriend I was very vocal that I was uncomfortable with sex and a lot of times I ended up having to tell him to stop since he attempted to get us to have sex. I also recently realized that I picked up that I get uncomfortable anytime I see anything Black Clover related. For a long time I didn't voice it since I was under the belief that "since I didn't experience SA, there's people who experienced worse than just this". I eventually told someone and they told me that trauma is trauma and no one can say otherwise. So yeah, just letting you know that what you experienced was traumatic and no one can tell you it wasn't and anyone who laughs at that and mocks you for it are assholes. Also hope things are slowly getting better for you. Also perhaps for the best you got kicked out if they think you're transphobic because someone said so when you voiced your experience.
@@likeAflamingo-i2e I didn't know I needed a comment like this, until I read it. Thank you. Things are better for me now. I had a kinky relationship with a transwoman (no intercourse) and have severel trans-crushes. I know that a few transwomen being shitty, doesn't mean all of them are.. I have healed a lot and I'm happy, that I got kicked out of that group, because it wasn't a safe group for me to be in.. I am sorry to hear about your trauma as well. It's awful, that one person, gets to alter such a big and personal intimate part of someones being and life. I hope you heal, however long it may take..
I'm glad you think so, because it's always hard when you believe that your trauma can't be that bad. It makes it hard but like i said, no matter the trauma, your trauma is valid and no one can tell you otherwise.the saddest thing that I find and understand many people will find difficult, is that if you have one horrible experience it'll make it difficult for you to become comfortable enough specifically even while knowing that not everyone is bad. I'd say it's easier said than done. But I'm glad you're doing better. Just take your time since it's a process that depends on each different person. And like I said, glad you're doing better and what happened sounds like it's not affecting how you feel about trans people. So very happy for you.😊 Also glad your doing better after leaving such a toxic group. Probably sucks when you loved the things on there but not worth your sanity. I was mostly angry due to having explained why I want ro take things slowly because of it and it being disrespected. Heck afterwards I was thankful for wearing those silly shirts that's basically a one suit. I actually recently told my mother about it and we're trying to find a therapist I can see. Because it's frustrating due to fearing to be intimate and trusting. What didn't help was him being a bit gaslighty. But I know I'll find the one and I will get through it no matter how long it takes.
This was like the most Ash Hardell way you could've responded to this. As someone else who is nonbinary, I love the way you respond to transphobia with humor! It's really refreshing. (Sometimes rant videos can just get exhausting!)
A few years ago I read a debate article in one of Sweden's largest newspapers where a trans woman claimed that it was transphobia if a man didn't want to have sex with her just because she happened to have a penis instead of a vagina. Reminded me a bit of when a gay friend was accused of being a misogynist by a drunk radical feminist when he said no when she tried to seduce him. It is just idiotic to claim that it is discriminatory that heterosexual men prefer vaginal intercourse. But according to the person behind that debate article, the right to say no and the right to have whatever preferences you want apparently did not apply if the other person is a transgender person. I think I'm going to start using the same argument every time I get the nob from a lesbian woman, then she's bigoted and anti-LGBTQ. Since I myself am an LGBTQ person (bisexual), the lesbian women must be LGBTQ-hostile when they don't want to sleep with me. But I think I pass. To resent this is just as unreasonable as if I tried to start meeting lesbian women and then bitterly resent the inevitable fiasco that would follow.
This is wonderful, you know I really respect that you can take ownership of your mistakes like this and apologise for something you clearly /must/ have started. It's so inspiring. So brave. (Also fyi lol I like, don't date people with septum piercings, so like plz chill.) Ily!
I'm glad that we can all be so clear (passive-aggressive) about our preferences when they are utterly necessary (uncalled for). It's so cathartic and really, how else could we possibly express our discomfort with whole categories of people? It's almost beautiful, some would say!
Everyone makes it seem bad to have preferences, obviously some are just rude and uncalled for like "no blacks, no asians" etc and I feel that how we are as a society today and specifically the LGBT community the big tag line for us is "SEXUALITY AND GENDER IS FLUID" and while yes, that is correct and it can change which I've experienced, I use to think I was bi, I might not have been, maybe that was just my subconscious insecurities projecting onto who I thought I was, this gender/sexuality fluidity isn't the same for everyone. I also agree that cis people don't need to be all "I don't want to date trans people cause their genitals doesn't match their gender" but like at the same time for a lot of people including myself sometimes it's hard to separate the two. And take a woman who is attracted to women and isn't pan or asexual, usually genitals matter, especially to cis people like if we took gender out of the equation in this, gender doesn't exist, no males no females, nothing just genitals. Not everyone is going to be comfortable with their sexual partner having penis or a vagina. Then add in today's mindset and all the internalized gender shit that we are brought up on and the things we are taught and how things are suppose to be, so a cis woman and a trans man who doesn't want or doesn't have bottom surgery, not every cis hetero woman is going to be fine with that cause she isn't attracted to vaginas. Maybe I'm wrong, I don't know, it's cool if I am and I'll try to be better and more educated cause let's be real, I find myself thinking things that maybe can be considered transphobic and I recognize that those things are wrong. And don't take that wrong, I don't care if someone is trans, I believe you should live as you feel and do what makes you feel good and comfortable and not go against your own personal grain but people are people and we aren't perfect. But there are billions and billions and billions of people in the world so in the grand scheme of things my opinion doesn't matter and there are plenty of people who'd wanna get their rocks of with trans people without it being like a fetish thing.
Wrote this whole long reply to someone who said they were lesbian but didn't know if they'd date a trans woman, then her comment was deleted but I'm still gonna post it because why not (plus that's five minutes I'll never get back might as well share my thoughts) :p Hiya, so this is basically what Ash is talking about; if you're figuring that out for yourself that's okay, but it really sucks for people who are MTF and lesbian that have to read all these comments (not on this video but on others that solicited the question) about how a ton of people wouldn't be able to love/date/sleep with them. This type of dialogue makes a lot trans people feel very bad unlovable. Since it hurts to read those words, and since no MTF person is currently asking you out, it helps to keep that information to yourself :)
Jack Jupiter But this isn't out of the blue. All of this talk about not wanting to date trans people is in response to Riley's videos calling people who wouldn't date or have sex with a trans person because of their genitals transphobic. If you wanna blame anyone for this drama, blame Riley.
Great point. As a cis het guy who's trying to be an ally I definitely had some cognitive dissonance I needed to work through, and I did rely on thoughtful conversations with my trans friends to work through that. I didn't blare my internal dialogue from the rooftops or anything, but I do hope that those discussions didn't come off as unsolicited when no one was hitting on me. Thanks for helping me be more mindful.
I found even weirder that people actually do this in real life too, not only on the internet! Like when you come out and some people start acting differently around you as if you would suddenly start hitting on them.
I think this has come down to the question of the chicken or the egg. What came first? People unproved declaring and sharing why they would not date trans people or trans people declaring that people are to not want to date people they know are trans? Does it even matter? I think it’s a mixture of both. There a people out there declaring their preferences when it s not necessary and there are trans people and their supporters who feel that most cis people will not date trans people and feel the reasons are unfair and based on lack of seems trans the same as cis. You make good points. However if I keep my preference to myself and somebody asks me then the answer doesn’t change. Which has happened.
Yes. If a women is attracted to women, then she could have the potential to be attracted to trans women. Because they are women. If they start talking, dating, developing romantic attraction with a person, find out they're trans and they're like, "oh nvm" they are either 1.) assuming to know what their genitals look like and/or 2.) reducing that person and their gender to their genitals, and saying basically that they are not enough of a *insert gender here* for them to be attracted to them, which both induces dysphoria and is transphobic. The point of this video, though, and what some other have said is. You can have these preferences, and just go on about your life having these crappy preferences, they just don't understand why you need to make a declaration saying you wouldn't date them unless they specifically asked you out.
It's not a preference. A preference means that you're considering both options, but leans more towards one. What this subject is about is a genital REQUIRMENT.
My best guess is people are overreacting to the Riley J. Dennis video who openly called people who have genital preferences transphobic. Some people will take what one person from a specific group said and then apply that mentality to everyone they believe fits in that group. I am sorry that you have had to deal with all of that. People can be jerks.
I honestly believe that people who are trans were really always that gender emotionaly and mentally but just not physically. To me, you are the gender you feel that you are and not the gender you were born.
As a trans person, I respect your choice to date whoever you want, and for whatever your rationalization for that might be. Never, ever should you be judged for that. But still do not insult anyone and spread the hate.
I don't think that not wanting to date someone that is bi or another similar sexuality is bad. If you aren't comfortable with that, you don't need to do that. If you aren't happy with that, don't do that.
Lesbians and gay people naturally exclude people by saying that that is their sexuality. We don't say they are being mean to straight people by saying that. There ought to be nothing wrong with saying you're super straight. If trans people want to be accepted for who they are, they should not inhibit others from expressing themselves about their identity. Being biologically female is important to my identity. Don't call me cis bc I don't identify with that way of thinking about the world. Otherwise, it is hypocritical.
If you dont want to date someone, just dont date them. You have that right and you dont have to give anyone a reason. If they insist on one, say "Im just not that into you". Its not a big deal.
Yeah but then they go to that person’s employer, claim the reason is because they are transgender, accuse them of discrimination, and get them fired from their job.
I'm so sorry.
I had no idea what I was doing. I've been made aware of my mistake.
no more hitting on innocent people who don't want my (smokin' hot) bod.
Ash Hardell well I must have missed this flirting/hitting on people too lol xx love ur sense of humour xx
Ash Hardell I'm literally dying 😂😂😂😂😂
Ash Hardell gosh Ash! I just got my tonsils out and am taking a crap ton of narcotics, so those sleepy doped up texts could totally be a thing! Also love you and Grace and your fur babies bunches!
SHIT ASH YOU KILLED ADDY SOMEBODY CALL AN AMBULANCE
at 7:23 the subtitles mess up your name and tell me to give you fries.
genital 👏 preferences 👏 are 👏 not 👏 transphobic
@@gartgreenside3657 nobody is talking about that. This is about genitalia preference. Very different
@@1co293 sexuality and "genital preference" are intertwined. we ARE talking about that. like seriously, how deep does your delusion run? for example, 100% straight men don't like dick. thats why they're straight. the same way 100% straight women arent attracted to boobs and vagina because they're STRAIGHT. The same way 100% gay guys dont like women and lady parts, thats literally the whole point of being gay. This gender idealogy has you so far removed from reality...
@@1co293 your sexual orientation is inherently based on genital preferences, so they are very much related to each other…
@@gartgreenside3657 so being gay is not a choice anymore? What you have in between your legs matters. Sexual compatibility is a thing
@StopIgbt lmfao im transgender and bisexual you're replying to the wrong person bud
Saying genital preference is transphobic is basically saying you don’t think “no” should mean no.
Hello there fellow Coservative/Libertarian
@@davegity8796 YOUR BODY YOUR CHOICE.
*MY* BODY *MY* CHOICE.
I don't HAVE to date you. GFY.
@@CrimTube Lol dumbass didnt even read my comment just bashed me for being conservative without context and then deleted comment
@@davegity8796 just say conservative. IT'S an oxymoron
@@isaakchatelet7260 wait wut
No one is entitled to dating anyone, period.
^^^this
its literally like incel arguments.
You aren't entitled to my attraction. I can disqualify you for ANY reason I so desire.
Genital preference is NOT transphobic.
Jupiter you aren't wrong. But going on about it and stating that trans people are outside your preference is.
To spell it out for you. It's ok not to date trans people. Just shut the fuck up about it. No one is coming into your home and forcing you to date them. But reminding them every five minutes that you exclude them IS hurting them.
Mijochda: No ones is going around telling trans that they are not in a dating pool. It was a bunch of transtrender stating all this because they have been rejected (likely because they are just disgusting people). So, your affirmation is a lie. And if you get offended and traumatised every time you get rejected, maybe you should work on that and not the rest of the world.
Mijochda If you wanna fucking blame someone, blame Riley. She's the one who started all of this by making videos calling people transphobic just because they're only attracted to certain genitals.
What is it, then? Trans-friendly? Trans-inclusive?
@@ivorygoth8849 A close friend of mine is trans and I love him a ton but still wouldn't date a trans person. It's like calling a gay guy sexist because he wouldn't date a woman.
As someone who is trans, I would not think it's transphobic if someone wasn't sexually attracted to me because of my genitalia. Just don't tell me that unless we were CONSIDERING DATING
For sure and you make sure to declare your biological sex if we are going to start to date.
I think you have a long way ahead of you. I wish you lots of energy and people who support you.
Fat bastard Only if you write “I don’t date trans folks” on your forehead.
Dont tell people what not to say when there are trans people calling them transphobic for not wanting to date trans people.
I think an exception can be made if your trying to discuss the morality of hiding your biological sex from a partner. I wouldn’t say “You” specifically but if I were having a discussion like that, I might bring up how I’d feel in the event that someone hid such a thing from me, because I’d want to defend how someone might feel in such a situation.
I always say "You don't have to be attracted to someone to support them"
But i don't support them
@@Je_suis_ton_pere me neither, not after they started co-opting the gay rights movement
@@Envision_ Fellow trans non-supportive gay here. Can I know what is co-opting rights is? I must be aware of all their agenda.
@@Envision_ stonewall was led by trans people you absolute goon. Without trans people you would have the rights you enjoy now. The gay rights movement was made possible by trans people. You can't change history because of your transphobic beliefs.
@@Eza_yuta trans people's agenda is the same as gay people's -- being granted the human decency and respect they deserve to be themselves. Being gay doesn't mean you can't still be a bigot.
Trans people should date each other.
My opinion is just people shouldn't be telling people who they should and shouldn't date. Just leave people the fuck alone
Are Genital Preferences Transphobic?
In short: NO, It's not!
Éliottulio Camaradonge Tf?
Éliottulio Camaradonge PREFERENCE IS NOT TRANSPHOBIC
Eliottulio it is not transphobic.
Éliottulio Camaradonge that Is still not transphobic. If I was transphobic I would either dislike or be scared of trans people which I am not. Your are not transphobic for not wanting to date them, regardless of your reason.
@@eliottuliocamaradonge2706 well im happily a deplorable transphobe because i believe in the biology and common sense i was taught for 10 years
But hey thats just me... an actual biologist.
Ash, again I love ya, but there is a reason why a lot of people are saying this (specifically online). It's mostly because a lot of people are posting the fact that not dating a transperson because they have the wrong genitals is transphobic (i.e. Riley J. Dennis). Because you identify differently than what is considered normal (not saying that the way you identify is incorrect or wrong in anyway, just that it's away from the ordinary) people might feel the obligation to say they wouldn't date a transperson, or someone who is non-binary etc. I have no issues with you identifying the way you want to, being married, etc. I'm only stating that the reason why these people are posting videos is because of the fact that many Social Justice youtubers are saying it's transphobic. Thank you for your video, love ya, have a nice day.
Phobia [foh-bee-uh] (noun): an intense, persistent, irrational fear of a specific object, activity, situation, or person that manifests in physical symptoms such as sweating, trembling, rapid heartbeat, or shortness of breath, and that motivates avoidance behavior.
Are genital preferences transphobic?
No.
well the meaning of phobia chnages when it comes terms like homophobia and transphobia.
but its still not transphobic to have genital preference
@@fromhell11112 no such thing as Homophobic or Transphobic.
@@eugenemotes9921
you absolutely decimated the trans agenda i think you just converted me,
how can words not be real? lmao goofy ass
arrogance is a choice and you obviously picked it :)
Misia = From Ancient Greek μῖσος (mîsos, “hatred”) or μῑσέω (mīséō, “to hate”) (+ -ia); attested since at least the 1950s. Devised as an alternative to the suffix -phobia, which etymologically (and clinically) denotes fear, though it is also widely used in English to denote hatred.
People's dating pools are personal, discriminatory and under no circumstances do they make someone transphobic.
I get why you did this, but there's an legitimate response to the "cotton ceiling" theory that's been going around. It's fucked up and a lot of lesbian women are responding to that. It's not random.
thank you!
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
it's only gotten worse :(
@@Layla-qx3sp and continues to get worse😅😅
That basically means I can identify as a woman for an evening, hit on a lesbian and call her transphobic if she rejects me. You guys are absolutely insane
Did you even watch the video?💀
"here I am to make amends for my big..... TRANSgression."
I don't know if you meant to do that but I'm dying. Awesome video Ash!
Hailey Delaney (in the bottom right hand corner of the vid it says pun :P)
AW Man I usually catch all of those! lol.
I didn't even see "pun" and I literally did finger guns at the screen when you said "transgression"
Hailey Delaney I also picked on that hehe
Jamesy Bumholes Hey maybe you should not comment on other people's weight when what they're talking about has nothing to do with their weight or their want for popularity or whatever you think she's talking about
I know you are being facetious and this video is funny but here's the thing: I spent 14 or 15 years thinking being bi/pan was the most 'enlightened' sexuality to have and actively guilt tripped myself into having almost no sexual boundaries out of a misguided attempt to not 'discriminate'. What Reily and Fiona and everyone else who push this message don't seem to understand is that discrimination in a romantic or sexual context is a skill some people actually have trouble learning and is in no way the same as discrimination against minority groups in the legal sense of the word. Things changed for me and I needed to conceptualize my sexuality a bit differently to feel like I had real autonomy and in order to do that I had to be able to learn how to even *visualise* having sexual boundaries let alone enforce them when it came to consent. It seemed like as soon as I had come to this fairly difficult realisation, everyone around me seemed to be pushing this message that I have to think of my sexuality in the way *they* wanted me to or I was a bigot. I hope this explains why lots of people are upset with some of this discourse.
We're upset with this discourse because this is straight up homophobia. There is no way around it. A "no" is a "no" and trying to get gay people to "unlearn" their sexuality is just gross.
THIS. It was the same for me. Thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart for this comment.
It’s because most are white and privileged and outside of being trans, don’t really seem to get what it’s like to truly be discriminated for your existence or having your existence “denied”. They only experienced it after transitioning, so they somehow think it’s comparable to racial discrimination, which just comes off as ignorant.
@@punkgrl325 you seam do be ignorant too
People who do that are homofobic, as a lesbian trans woman, everybody has a right to choose which genitalia they like to have sex with. And as a trans woman we need to tell these things to cis woman and cis woman need to say they re preferences. And not saying these things when almost having sex or when almost dating.
Date who you want...
Don't tell me you will *NEVER NEVER NEVER* date me unless i asked you out...
Why do you think the fact that i'm into your gender means i'm into you...
YASSSS HUNTIE.
Ash Hardell
Omg i'm fangirling now!!!
You're awsome❤💙💚💛💜
Btw.
It's ok to be a boy and a fangirl...
I quite agree with you. Shame this person doesn't. They seem to be under the impression that if you're attracted to one gender or sex, you must be attracted to every individual in that gender or sex: twitter.com/Awesomwott/status/896638180555993088
Sorry about labouring the point, but I just wanted to offer the perspective who doesn't find this issue to be particularly unsolicited, at least not in every case. But I'm pretty sure most of you find these people particularly unsavoury...
If not, feel free to explain it to me.
Although I'm not sure about the authenticity of this tweet. I can't find elsewhere on the user's page.
Toby Martin
This tweet has some mistakes in it,
If you are into non binary people, you don't have to be pansexual,
Some people are only into biological males/females, but they would date a non binary person in the sex they are attracted,
Edited*
I said here something and then realized i used the wrong words,
Hating all trans people because they are trans is transphobic,
Not being into a trans person is totally cool👍
Being awsome is awsome, keep doing that❤💙💚💛💜
Ash, these videos aren't coming out of nowhere. They are responses to certain people (riley j dennis and her girlfriend specifically) saying that someone's sexuality is wrong because they aren't attracted to certain genitals. In most cases, sexual attraction and romantic attraction are very intertwined with each other, for instance sex is an important part of a romantic relationship to a whole lot of people. That is where people are saying they wouldn't date a trans person, but they are more talking about having sex with them.
Skywardocarina1 Its deluded.
Are genital preferences transphobic?
No....
I think Ash is intentionally missing the point. These people aren't offering their unsolicited opinion. They are responding to being called bigots!
Exactly but she of course sides "with her own"
She just said well i never called anyone that so no one called anyone transphobic for that
Genital preferences are NOT transphobic.
I don't think having genitals preferences is transphobic, but loudly announcing them to any and all trans people you meet definitely is. Assuming you know what genitals someone has is also transphobic.
Abnormaldiversity agreed
How is it NOT transphobic? The fact that a man has a vagina makes him trans. Rejecting him because of said vagina despite you being into men because you're a straight woman or a gay man is literally transphobic by definition. That's the whole point about "Your body is okay the way it is" and "It's okay for women to have a penis".
@@ivorygoth8849 Scott Ryder I am so sorry if my vagina is transphobic, I try not to be, but literally my downstairs live it's own life and can't get wet with certain anatomy. Again I'm so sorry on behalf of my vag. Have a nice day!
Scott Ryder that self entitlement dude.
@@ivorygoth8849 Homophobic christians force us gay folks to fuck vagina .
You are here doing the same . You are a disgusting homophobe .
The term "Sis gender" is heterophobic
If you're going to call me transphobic for having that preference then go ahead and call me transphobic.
This is just rediculous.
This narrative completely erases and is offensive to lesbian and gay folks.
people keep making videos on how they won't date trans people because everyone started claiming they were transphobic for not wanting to date trans people. I don't believe it is wrong for them to speak out about the issue, join in on the conversation, and defend themselves (and not just accept being called transphobic by people). Discussion is how issues are solved, on youtube discussion just happens in this way. If you don't want to hear about what people have to say, then simply don't watch it, nobody is forcing you to. Unlike your analogies, nobody is actually personally coming up and telling you they won't sleep with you because you are trans, a more accurate analogy would be like seeing the description of a lecture that is happening about why gay men and this gay male lecturer in particular won't sleep with women, and choosing to walk in and join the audience in listening (and now wondering why this guy is talking about why he won't sleep with women). You don't care about what these people have to say about their own sexuality, just as a lot of people don't care about what you have to say about being trans or polyamorous; you don't have to be part of their audience if you don't want to and they don't have to be part of your audience if they don't want to. anyways, I'm just saying that it's not completely unfair or wrong for these people to be making their videos about not having sex with trans people, there's nothing wrong with talking about things on a website that is made for talking about things and on their channel which is about.. them.
The internet is weird. It isn’t like real life interactions. People make grandiose statements that would seem awkward in real life. No one should care who someone else isn’t having sex with, but it’s become a back and forth thing on the internet, so now everyone has to have a stance. 🙄
I'm a Lesbian, and honestly having a genital prefrence is not transphobic. I am not sexually fascinated with the penis - male or female. In fact, there are also transgender people who have genital prefrence as well!
There is no such thing as female penis, gal...
There's no female penis.
There are no females with penises. Just very confused men.
@@Corrosive_Acid I'm saying for transwomen who still have their penis.
@StopIgbt Ok? I don't know what that's gonna do.. Doesn't stop me from being Gay lbs
Even "this is Jazz " is grossed out about having to reopen his gaping fake wound to the point his mother threatened to force him to keep opening it up
That's why it's homoSEXual not homoGENDERal
it's very simple, most dudes don't want to date a dude. so regardless of what you think you are, you're not a woman then males won't date you. I'd rather date a tomboy as that is still a woman.
I don't fancy fencing
Well, people say it, because some other people on UA-cam say that it IS transphobic to have genital preferences. So yeah. Nobody asked them either to tell their opinion. If they can, people with a different opinion can also state theirs
Its the freaking double standards that preent us from resolving our issues
Exactly, they are addressing the people who claim that it is, not trans-people in general. This video is not addressing the issue at all, it's mocking people who dare to stand up to that accusation and let the world know that it's not acceptable. There are growing cases of gay women having been pressured into dating transwomen because they are in this world and are genuinely afraid that if they refuse, they will be labelled as transphobic, there's this push to accept the idea that transwomen are 'just women' and that there's no difference at all. This idea erases sexual boundaries as in order to maintain that boundary, you have to admit the reality, which is that for all you might virtue signal the rest of the time, you know transwomen ARE still men. Then these women get trapped between what they know is reality and their ideology. Between a rock and a hard place, basically. It's good for those women to hear that no, actually, it's okay to only want to date biological females, you are not a bad person for that. The video doesn't even address how wrong it is for anyone to try to overstep someone's sexual boundaries in the first place. And to deny it happens, when you can go watch these videos is so disingenuous.
So does that make gay people straightphobic? You people are hilarious
I came across this (at the time) 5 year old video looking for another. Others may know the video I'm referring to. In any case, the reason I'm commenting is because ash spends a good portion of this video drawing weird comparisons to other situations in which people announce their preferences of things. Problem is this video came out at a time when the likes of riley and others were running around telling you that is you had a preference that didn't allow for trans people, you were transphobic. Technically true, but in the age where phobias are treated as bad, this comes off as a stupid thing. It essentially means no doesn't mean no. If you're not allowed to say no to someone BECAUSE they are trans than there's a problem. So, not sure if this is addressed later in the video because it got repetitive very fast, but that is the reason many were announcing it, to hopefully help others realize how stupid it is to vilify those who say...no.
Wo would be so weak-minded to be persuaded by activists that they are bad phobes if they didn't date certain people? That's just crazy. The whole point of dating is to be with someone that you are really into. It is inherently discriminating, and that's OK.
Whatever your opinion is, can we all just agree that it's nobodies business who or what kind of person you're attracted to? Nobody 'owes' anyone attraction. Somebody likes you for you? Great! They don't? Just move on! Whatever your sexuality/gender/looks/anything is
it would be like a ton of content online claiming people are transphobic for not wanting to date them, and you simply going no
I'll answer for you Hun no.
genital preference for me is a very “sticky” issue, because while i 100% support anyone who’s transgender and their journey to becoming a different gender, i just don’t like penis. at all, but i do 100% support any trans person
I'm publicly ftm and I don't care what your genital preferences are. If you dont want what I've got I have NOTHING to gain by trying to get you to feel bad or forcing you to have sex with me. It just means we aren't compatible. Just cause I'd have sex with the dude or lady parts doesn't mean I think everyone should. They're missing out, not me.
I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE WHO WOULD REFUSE MY GENITALIA, GODDAMNIT
I've been sad when I've been rejected but it's not a big deal in the long run. Nothing will be gained by calling them transphobic because just like I can't change the fact that I'm trans and gay, I can't change the fact that someone else has their own preferences. Even if they give "other parts" a try, and honestly re-examine their sexuality, they may not decide its something they like.
What's the point of having labels for sexuality if you have to sleep with someone on the basis of their gender identity anyway?
@poopoo sprinkle No one asked you to explain your sexual fetishes. Please stfu.
I LOVE SATIRE AND I LOVE LGTBQ+ TOPICS SO THIS IS HEAVEN (Or like a really good thing depending on your views on organized religion and proselytizing and the concept of reality). Great vid!
Ender Wiggins hahaha this comment is awesome
The past really is a different country, just the fact that you unironically say this and dont pass out from the cringe... in 2022 you would have been mauled to death for speaking like this
Look, it's not people just randomly stating thier preferences unwarrantedly. It's because people are being judged and called bigoted for their own personal sexual desires and that is not okay. It is completely justified for people to defend themselves when they are getting insulted and attacked. I get the humor in your video but you are disregarding the many members of your community that are calling people transphobic because of their views. It is not as completely random and unsolicited as you make it out to be.
Well shes obviously defending her group. Cant expect he rto be objective when she belongs to a group that likes to cannibalize heretics
Ash, I just want to let you know that I think you're super cute and attractive, but I would NEVER date you...
...because I am also married and monogamous.
I think Ask is cute and I don't identify, period.
But I also think that everyone should just STOP talking about his whole topic.
How can we say people are born gay, les, trans, ect, and THEN say your preferences make you prejudice?
Should anyone really be telling people that if they don't have sex with someone based on their personality OR body, that they are inherently a bad person? I say no. I think LOVE IS LOVE. You like what you like -- and you don't what you don't -- no one should think they HAVE to like everything so they don't accidentally offend someone.
Wtf. Nothing wrong with sexual identity. That's not transphobic. Let's stop this bs
It's also not a preferance. It's a sexuallity.
A lot of people wouldn't date me because I'm fat but I wouldn't drag them because of it. It's like, a new trend to drag people for their preferences and it sucks.
No I prefer to have relations with normal people
It's like if a person who didn't happen to want to raise children calling up every adoption agency in the world to say that they don't want to adopt.
Corylus Bluefox - This whole debate was started by certain people from the trans community stating that if you do not wish to date a trans person then you are transphobic and it is this that has started a whole host of response videos. When you start any discussion then the opposing side has every right to have their say.
Must have broke your arm with that reach.
Not even close.
@Brittany D dream on. What percentage of trans people are "stealth". I'm sure it's extremely small.
But even if it wasn't, no, no one has to be open to dating anyone, trans or otherwise.
Because when someone discovers someone is trans, it is perfectly valid not to date them.
You cant guilt anyone into dating you!
@Brittany D that's precisely what I expected from someone like you. The percentage does matter and you avoiding the answer says it all.😂
No, you can't destroy anything I say when you support an ideology that beliefs in usurping peoples sexual consent by fraud.
No one has to date trans people, regardless of when they find out the person is trans.
I prefer people that are slim/athletic (cis) Latinas. It's crazy that I have to have so many words in my preferences nowadays. That doesn't mean I never find black/white/blonde/fat/trans unattractive. Welcome to the world of "socialism".
Yeah, people, stop reminding people you have a sexual orientation....................
Seriously, i wouldn't want to talk to anyone calling me transphobic, i wouldn't want to touch anything that person touches or even be nearby
I am completely open about being ftm and I love that being trans is a part of my identity but it does bother me when people tell me randomly they would never date a trans person. Why do people feel they have to tell me this!?! Thanks for making this vid because it really helps me not feel alone
Also Ash I don't know if you even read these and if so I'm sure my comment won't stick out but I do want to tell you that your videos have been a huge help in my life! I've been watching you since you were on my drunk kitchen and your videos showed me that someone in the world was kind enough to show they cared about LGBT+ people and knowing even one person did gave me the strength to tell my family I was transgender. Thank you for all you have done for me even tho I know you will probably never know who I am I am grateful for everything you do
Lucas Rickman omg yes!! I already have this huge problem with myself bc of how i was born and being on Testosterone helps but when people say things like that I feel like there is something wrong with me
they probly found their self atracted to you while being conflicted with their fear of random peoples judgment
Have no fear! (or do, your choice, I myself have a fear of heights! lousy, no good for nothing heights...their a bunch of jerks...always changing colour to black, white and grey...wait, where was this going...oh yes) I (need a job) know how you're feeling (with your hands right?) because I here that too (as in never date a trans person) and I'm like '...o.k...' and then shrugs.
Oh and mtf here! :D Have a great day...or night...afternoon?
Yeah, that sucks. My friends have told me multiple times that they'd never date an asexual person. It's irrelevant because I don't want to date them, and makes me feel like shit. I guess people saying they wouldn't date trans people is similar
Tell me you're a Gaslighting egomaniac without telling me you're a Gaslighting egomaniac....
Anyone can call me transphobic I don’t care I just don’t date trans people. And as they don’t want to date me as well it would be brilliant
Ash, I don't usually make these type of comments, but you look so great🌻🌻🌻
No true. Brad pit won’t date a trans person. But a trans person would want to date him.
Ash!
First of all you look good af in this video! (I love Grace as well!)
And second of all, regarding the title, I haven't seen many people necessarly saying they wouldn't date trans person, maybe pre-op And as a bisexual, even tho I don't relate, I get it. You can't choose your attraction to certain genitals. And honestly, if someone doesn't wanna date a trans person post-op, I understand it too. To some it's important to have biological children. I think this topic is very simple and I don't understand why this debate exists... but it does. I just wish it wasn't so heated and full of pettiness.
Like you said: it's all good, chill out :)
Honestly, I've been "called out" after being asked multiple times by several "trans allies". Mainly a "what do you think about this so we can all attack you for how you feel" situation. When it comes to actual trans people I've had this problem 0% of the time.
There seems to be a lot of cross-purposes with this particular matter, and I'm not entirely sure if anyone quite gets the point...I'm certainly confused.
One thing I will say is that the things I've seen being said concern people who haven't said they'd never date a trans person, but simply said they wouldn't be willing to sleep with someone with a particular phenotype or genitalia regardless of what gender they identify as, and people have said some pretty nasty things to them, including fabrications. Now, I don't doubt for a second that they are in the minority of overly enthusiastic people, and I am truly sorry that people have been sending you unsolicited things saying they'll never date you. I can imagine that would be rather irritating and insulting...
Perhaps someone who's informed can explain in to me, as a cis person. One thing some people (again, I'm not trying to pin this on all trans people at all) have been saying, or at least how I interpreted it, is that lesbians unwilling to sleep with a woman with a penis should 'work through their issues.' That just sounds too much like homophobia to me - not that trans women aren't women, but rather it's like saying one's sexual orientation is theirs to control, or, God forbid, fix.
I want to understand this as best I can, because the TERFs on Twitter are mistaking me for one of them, which is fucking horrifying...
Toby Martin its not about people not being willing to date a woman with a penis, its not being willing to date a trans woman - there are many trans women who do not have penises, so if the preference is about genitalia, then just excluding "trans women" is irrelevant. The main point of this video, however, is that people just offer up their genital preference unprompted and often in a very inappropriate manner (there is a comment higher up talking about how somewants wants "dick not pussy" or whatever, which is a good example of what ive heard real people actually say unprompted in person lol)
Toby Martin I made a post slightly above this one in response to a question something along the lines of "is it transphobic to have genital preferences?"
I can't really link it and I'm on mobile, so I can't just copy said response, but it's there and highlights how I feel about the whole situation.
It may give you more info ^^;
Sorry for the inconvenience!!
Sebastian James Dillingham - I am not aware that this happens a lot. I am nearly 40 years old and I can honestly say that I have never had an unprompted discussion about “genital preferences” and I am not aware of anyone who has. This issue seems to have arisen from certain sections of the trans community who claim that not being attracted to to someone who is trans is transphobic and this has prompted a response from people defending their sexual orientation and their absolute right to date who they please without having to justify rejecting anyone . The idea of “ genital preferences’ being up for debate seems absurd and homophobic to me and it has predominantly been brought up by people from the trans community. I am a straight male who is attracted to biological females - this is based on biology and not bigotry!!!
Honestly, this issue has arisen because certain vocal members of the trans community call people (usually cis lesbians) transphobic for not dating trans people, apparently we have a vagina 'fetish', not a sexual orientation. This youtube video belittles the real issue - the fact cis women and to a lesser extent cis men who have specific sexual boundaries are bullied and excluded. This video implies is that the big issue is the people who say they won't date trans people, NOT the trans people (predominetly trans women) who make is so difficult for us to have sexual boundaries without being shamed for it. People wouldn't have to constantly state their sexual boundaries if vocal subsets of the trans community left us tf alone.
Why did U express what I was trying to say so greatly? Absolutely impressive
No. It's not transphobic. It's called SEXUAL orientation. If you think like that you are being homophobic by not respecting peoples orientations.
Not attracted to biological men sorry it’s physically impossible
This is the quality content I signed up for
The core issue here is that people who derive their self worth or identity from others’ opinions will always have a fragile sense of self, as their identity is constantly changing- reflecting the predictable truth that people have differing opinions.
A reminder that being called transphobic is nothing compared to having to experience transphobia every. single. fucking. day
nobody cares. tell them to stop being weird. its literally 1000x easier to be normal. FREAK lmao
I love the humour and I know you haven't called anyone transphobic for not being into certain folks, but some have and that's where the reactions came from. That said, I think the number of response videos from certain individuals are ridiculous - but at the same time, you can see the people in them are really hurt and feel they have to defend themselves.
In short, it's a huge mess and there is responsibility on all sides of the issue. No one is 100% to blame and no one (involved directly in the current situation) is 100% innocent either.
Genital preferences aren't transphobic, I don't think. If you aren't sexually attracted to someone with a vagina (or a penis), that's fine. Just be a respectful, decent human being about it. What is transphobic is being an asshole about it and insulting someone based on their genitals. If a trans person asks you out/hits on you and that isn't your cup of tea, then turn them down respectfully. :)
Regardless, I love that you're so outspoken about these things. I really enjoyed this.
You may not be pushing it but a part of your community is and thats why there is push back as it doesn't come from nowhere
I know some people state it so no one who is transitioning can get the wrong idea. I am trans and I personally don't mind people stating their preferences. We all have them.
someone made a video saying that if you don't want to have sex with someone who is trans that makes you transphobic and many people are making response videos
Be happy, that you personally haven't experienced transpeople calling anyone transphobic, for not wanting to date them - because in my personal experience, I was coerced into a sexual relationship with a transwoman, a one-night thing, I felt used and awful about it and when I tried to come out about my experience, in a wicca facebook group in a thread about others talking about their SA's, I was absolutely rediculed by another transwoman, told that my r*pe was a lie, I was transphobic, laughed at and I ended up having a breakdown over it and then the facebook group kicked me out for being transphobic...
I had a bad experience a few months ago. Due to reasons I ended up having trauma and was very vocal after my 2nd boyfriend (I only realized then I picked up the trauma) and with my 3rd boyfriend I was very vocal that I was uncomfortable with sex and a lot of times I ended up having to tell him to stop since he attempted to get us to have sex. I also recently realized that I picked up that I get uncomfortable anytime I see anything Black Clover related. For a long time I didn't voice it since I was under the belief that "since I didn't experience SA, there's people who experienced worse than just this". I eventually told someone and they told me that trauma is trauma and no one can say otherwise.
So yeah, just letting you know that what you experienced was traumatic and no one can tell you it wasn't and anyone who laughs at that and mocks you for it are assholes. Also hope things are slowly getting better for you. Also perhaps for the best you got kicked out if they think you're transphobic because someone said so when you voiced your experience.
@@likeAflamingo-i2e I didn't know I needed a comment like this, until I read it. Thank you. Things are better for me now. I had a kinky relationship with a transwoman (no intercourse) and have severel trans-crushes. I know that a few transwomen being shitty, doesn't mean all of them are..
I have healed a lot and I'm happy, that I got kicked out of that group, because it wasn't a safe group for me to be in..
I am sorry to hear about your trauma as well. It's awful, that one person, gets to alter such a big and personal intimate part of someones being and life. I hope you heal, however long it may take..
I'm glad you think so, because it's always hard when you believe that your trauma can't be that bad. It makes it hard but like i said, no matter the trauma, your trauma is valid and no one can tell you otherwise.the saddest thing that I find and understand many people will find difficult, is that if you have one horrible experience it'll make it difficult for you to become comfortable enough specifically even while knowing that not everyone is bad. I'd say it's easier said than done. But I'm glad you're doing better. Just take your time since it's a process that depends on each different person. And like I said, glad you're doing better and what happened sounds like it's not affecting how you feel about trans people. So very happy for you.😊
Also glad your doing better after leaving such a toxic group. Probably sucks when you loved the things on there but not worth your sanity.
I was mostly angry due to having explained why I want ro take things slowly because of it and it being disrespected. Heck afterwards I was thankful for wearing those silly shirts that's basically a one suit. I actually recently told my mother about it and we're trying to find a therapist I can see. Because it's frustrating due to fearing to be intimate and trusting. What didn't help was him being a bit gaslighty. But I know I'll find the one and I will get through it no matter how long it takes.
"Hi, I'm Steve, and I don't date bi people because I'm shitty and have trust issues!"
BEST
This was like the most Ash Hardell way you could've responded to this. As someone else who is nonbinary, I love the way you respond to transphobia with humor! It's really refreshing. (Sometimes rant videos can just get exhausting!)
'Are you wearing the gender binary, because we should slip into something more comfortable?'
😂😂 oh my
A few years ago I read a debate article in one of Sweden's largest newspapers where a trans woman claimed that it was transphobia if a man didn't want to have sex with her just because she happened to have a penis instead of a vagina. Reminded me a bit of when a gay friend was accused of being a misogynist by a drunk radical feminist when he said no when she tried to seduce him.
It is just idiotic to claim that it is discriminatory that heterosexual men prefer vaginal intercourse. But according to the person behind that debate article, the right to say no and the right to have whatever preferences you want apparently did not apply if the other person is a transgender person.
I think I'm going to start using the same argument every time I get the nob from a lesbian woman, then she's bigoted and anti-LGBTQ. Since I myself am an LGBTQ person (bisexual), the lesbian women must be LGBTQ-hostile when they don't want to sleep with me. But I think I pass. To resent this is just as unreasonable as if I tried to start meeting lesbian women and then bitterly resent the inevitable fiasco that would follow.
This is wonderful, you know I really respect that you can take ownership of your mistakes like this and apologise for something you clearly /must/ have started. It's so inspiring. So brave. (Also fyi lol I like, don't date people with septum piercings, so like plz chill.) Ily!
Max Shanahan well I don't date people with the name Max, sorry just not my thing, but you're so brave to be who you are😉
Jam Parker i, for one, would never date someone named Jam. just reminds me of a traffic jam and i hate those. but you do you, i still accept you!
I'm glad that we can all be so clear (passive-aggressive) about our preferences when they are utterly necessary (uncalled for). It's so cathartic and really, how else could we possibly express our discomfort with whole categories of people? It's almost beautiful, some would say!
Everyone makes it seem bad to have preferences, obviously some are just rude and uncalled for like "no blacks, no asians" etc and I feel that how we are as a society today and specifically the LGBT community the big tag line for us is "SEXUALITY AND GENDER IS FLUID" and while yes, that is correct and it can change which I've experienced, I use to think I was bi, I might not have been, maybe that was just my subconscious insecurities projecting onto who I thought I was, this gender/sexuality fluidity isn't the same for everyone. I also agree that cis people don't need to be all "I don't want to date trans people cause their genitals doesn't match their gender" but like at the same time for a lot of people including myself sometimes it's hard to separate the two. And take a woman who is attracted to women and isn't pan or asexual, usually genitals matter, especially to cis people like if we took gender out of the equation in this, gender doesn't exist, no males no females, nothing just genitals. Not everyone is going to be comfortable with their sexual partner having penis or a vagina. Then add in today's mindset and all the internalized gender shit that we are brought up on and the things we are taught and how things are suppose to be, so a cis woman and a trans man who doesn't want or doesn't have bottom surgery, not every cis hetero woman is going to be fine with that cause she isn't attracted to vaginas. Maybe I'm wrong, I don't know, it's cool if I am and I'll try to be better and more educated cause let's be real, I find myself thinking things that maybe can be considered transphobic and I recognize that those things are wrong. And don't take that wrong, I don't care if someone is trans, I believe you should live as you feel and do what makes you feel good and comfortable and not go against your own personal grain but people are people and we aren't perfect. But there are billions and billions and billions of people in the world so in the grand scheme of things my opinion doesn't matter and there are plenty of people who'd wanna get their rocks of with trans people without it being like a fetish thing.
Wrote this whole long reply to someone who said they were lesbian but didn't know if they'd date a trans woman, then her comment was deleted but I'm still gonna post it because why not (plus that's five minutes I'll never get back might as well share my thoughts) :p
Hiya, so this is basically what Ash is talking about; if you're figuring that out for yourself that's okay, but it really sucks for people who are MTF and lesbian that have to read all these comments (not on this video but on others that solicited the question) about how a ton of people wouldn't be able to love/date/sleep with them. This type of dialogue makes a lot trans people feel very bad unlovable. Since it hurts to read those words, and since no MTF person is currently asking you out, it helps to keep that information to yourself :)
Jack Jupiter But this isn't out of the blue. All of this talk about not wanting to date trans people is in response to Riley's videos calling people who wouldn't date or have sex with a trans person because of their genitals transphobic. If you wanna blame anyone for this drama, blame Riley.
Great point. As a cis het guy who's trying to be an ally I definitely had some cognitive dissonance I needed to work through, and I did rely on thoughtful conversations with my trans friends to work through that. I didn't blare my internal dialogue from the rooftops or anything, but I do hope that those discussions didn't come off as unsolicited when no one was hitting on me. Thanks for helping me be more mindful.
I found even weirder that people actually do this in real life too, not only on the internet! Like when you come out and some people start acting differently around you as if you would suddenly start hitting on them.
But why even come out? Didnt she criticize giving out unwanted information about yourself?
I think this has come down to the question of the chicken or the egg. What came first? People unproved declaring and sharing why they would not date trans people or trans people declaring that people are to not want to date people they know are trans? Does it even matter? I think it’s a mixture of both. There a people out there declaring their preferences when it s not necessary and there are trans people and their supporters who feel that most cis people will not date trans people and feel the reasons are unfair and based on lack of seems trans the same as cis. You make good points. However if I keep my preference to myself and somebody asks me then the answer doesn’t change. Which has happened.
sorry i don't want to like entirely miss the point of the video but... genital preferences aren't transphobic, right? or am i totally wrong?
I was hoping the video would answer the question in the title but, maybe I just missed it, or it didn't really give an answer?
ash's perspective (from what i understand) is that this whole discourse is irrelevant
so basically no?
yeah basically no
Yes. If a women is attracted to women, then she could have the potential to be attracted to trans women. Because they are women. If they start talking, dating, developing romantic attraction with a person, find out they're trans and they're like, "oh nvm" they are either 1.) assuming to know what their genitals look like and/or 2.) reducing that person and their gender to their genitals, and saying basically that they are not enough of a *insert gender here* for them to be attracted to them, which both induces dysphoria and is transphobic.
The point of this video, though, and what some other have said is. You can have these preferences, and just go on about your life having these crappy preferences, they just don't understand why you need to make a declaration saying you wouldn't date them unless they specifically asked you out.
At the end of the day, no one should feel compelled to have sex with you in order to validate your gender identity.
Those videos didn't come out of nowhere Ash. Your overdrawn metaphors are unrelated to the situation.
It's not a preference. A preference means that you're considering both options, but leans more towards one. What this subject is about is a genital REQUIRMENT.
It’s sexual orientation and it’s defined in U.K. law.
you're doing amazing, sweetie ❤️
the queer feminist lol your profile picture explains your username.
@@TheLuminous01 egypt = nazi...
Bruh
My best guess is people are overreacting to the Riley J. Dennis video who openly called people who have genital preferences transphobic. Some people will take what one person from a specific group said and then apply that mentality to everyone they believe fits in that group.
I am sorry that you have had to deal with all of that. People can be jerks.
I love the new direction with the channel. IM FRICKING DYING THIS VIDEO IS HILARIOUS.
There is nothing hilarious about my thirst.
Ash Hardell true. I apologize. This is no laughing matter
take a glass of water.
I honestly believe that people who are trans were really always that gender emotionaly and mentally but just not physically. To me, you are the gender you feel that you are and not the gender you were born.
As a trans person, I respect your choice to date whoever you want, and for whatever your rationalization for that might be. Never, ever should you be judged for that. But still do not insult anyone and spread the hate.
The real gems of this video are the pick up lines
And Grace's laughs
I don't think that not wanting to date someone that is bi or another similar sexuality is bad. If you aren't comfortable with that, you don't need to do that. If you aren't happy with that, don't do that.
Omg ash i love you so much
Lesbians and gay people naturally exclude people by saying that that is their sexuality. We don't say they are being mean to straight people by saying that. There ought to be nothing wrong with saying you're super straight. If trans people want to be accepted for who they are, they should not inhibit others from expressing themselves about their identity. Being biologically female is important to my identity. Don't call me cis bc I don't identify with that way of thinking about the world. Otherwise, it is hypocritical.
Do you want a boyfriend or a girlfriend because I can be your they-bae 😎
But like... Can't you date someone but not want to have sex with them if you're uncomfortable or totally unattracted to their genitals?
If you dont want to date someone, just dont date them. You have that right and you dont have to give anyone a reason. If they insist on one, say "Im just not that into you". Its not a big deal.
Yeah but then they go to that person’s employer, claim the reason is because they are transgender, accuse them of discrimination, and get them fired from their job.
You're taking it well. I would feel bad if people unsolicited-ly told me they found me unattractive.
hahahaha this is the perfect amount of sass 😂😂 thanks, Ash ❤️💙❤️💙
Yeah Riley wanna fuck off with your male privilege
Aren't you the person who thinks it *is* transphobic if someone has a preference against dating a trans person?
An unexamined life she literally never said that.
@@ezra55595 yeah... She did
IF INCELS ARE NOT OWED SEX FOR BEING NICE WHY SHOULD IT BE ANY DIFFERENT FOR A TRANSGENDER???
GOOD VIDEO your channel is just getting better with each video i love you