I only recently became aware of this when a guy I was dating basically told me step by step how logically he planned out every single thing he did with me to get a certain result. It occurred to me then that it's really only women who are always emotionally confused by relationships. Since then, I do not put up with ANYTHING men do anymore and I cut them off immediately when I see behaviors I do not like. I don't care if it's someone I am interested in or someone I work with. I don't question whether they might fix that behavior if they knew about it. I don't assume they misinterpreted something. I do not give all those benefits of doubt that I used to. They always know what they are doing in pursuing women or being around women because most of them spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to manipulate women to get what they want.
Isn't that just normal human interaction? I mean if you are interested in someone and you want to establish a reletionship you have to plan somthing to show intrest right? Is it really bad if you try to work to a certain outcome with actions? I don't understand what you mean tbh..
I find myself way more interesting than many of the men I come across. You can be beautiful, intelligent all these things and men will still not appreciate you. So don't feel bad and continue to love and appreciate yourself.
I have seen men buy women flowers, food, cars… fix shit, meet family, friends, put labels on it, post on Facebook … show up… and then tell me she’s a “cunt” and he can’t stand her while trying to cheat with me. My ex husband was bringing me coffee and cuddling while planning our divorce behind my back. Do not come at women and call them stupid for not knowing, because you don’t. Ps… I’ll take the low effort I’ll give you absolutely nothing guy, because at least I KNOW where I stood with him. If he’s a fuck up piece of shit from day 1… I guess he can’t wreck my world with a switch up 🤷♀️ … that being said I found peace and freedom alone. I’m the only one disappointing me right now 😘
There was once a guy that was totally doing all the things that boyfriends do only to tell me that he wanted to be friends with benefits. Like… It’s really not us, it’s them changing the rules and the meanings of things. And then trying to make it like we’re the dumb ones for believing what we see.
This is also true.happened to me.while taking me place's,telling me how much He want's US to build a Family get a child, cuddling,smiling,taking me to romantic Restaurants..He also was planing he's Exit behind my back😂🤣Like wtf.this is one of the worst way to break up with a person.also this reminds me of Yeezy divorcing Jeannie Mai behindeher back.this men are sick
@@vector3d654Focus on vetting, have good standards, then you won't need to be scared. Be ruthless when vetting people or learn how to vet throughly, even friends, then you will be safe and it is the key to healthy relationships.
My opinion : “dating” is stupid & pointless. Unless you’re young and dating to have fun and NOT sleeping with people and just having men court you and take you out to places, it’s just a complete waste of time. I opted out of dating and I’m staying celibate and in prayer for the right man to come to me. I’m not wasting anymore energy on trying to find him.
Yes! Everything you said! I've decided not to waste time dating either. Especially NOT online dating. MAJOR WASTE OF TIME. My time is more valuable than any man's time - literally and metaphorically.
If i had been listening to the first clip even just a year ago, i know i would have been feeling pangs of shame and envy that i wasn't "that girl" who gets to be treated like a queen (or whatever that first guy thinks he's doing.) But i just listened and got to the end of the video without thinking about myself and my lack of male validation. I just came back to write this comment and celebrate, de-centering men must really be taking root in my heart❤
I know those feelings of shame all too well when you aren’t “that girl”. But really it is those men who should be ashamed, stringing us along, treating us badly because they feel they would rather have someone else. This type of man is a bad partner. Even if he finally finds “that girl” and treats her better he is only treating her well because he is getting what he wants, not because he is a decent person. I wish I had been able to watch these types of videos when I started dating.
@@Lilzki Yes! You really hit the nail on the head. After I got some time out from relationships and "romance" etc, those are the types of questions I was asking myself. Like why am *I* the one feeling ashamed when it's someone else that acted disrespectfully? Once you start thinking about that, then you start letting go of baggage that isn't yours to carry. And you see the men more clearly, and their validation just doesn't feel important anymore. And then you can finally exhale.
Yep, killing the myth of the bumbling partner or the unaware partner who ‘just isn’t that kind of guy’ to buy or acknowledge special occasions and make his partner feel special is the biggest step towards raising your standards. Men are aware of their words and actions far more than we’ve been giving them credit. It’s why short of outright lying, many men will go as far as stretching the truth, moving the goal post, and creating all sorts of excuses to attain whatever benefit he gets out of dating or continuing to date you while also not fulfilling your needs or wants as long as you let him. And because he knows you want more out of him, and are still entertaining him when he doesn’t measure up, THAT is why he’ll continue to do less. There’s no incentive because he gets what he wants out of it (for now) and no consequence from the woman.
My husband refuses to write me love letters but always by force would buy me the latest gadgets, buy me houses and takes me on trips. He even called me ugly in so called jokes in comparison to our daughter. At this point I don’t care, the real estate is mine and Id rather fight for that than love and flowers.
Even if they genuinely didn’t know they were doing wrong, it’s still okay for you not to accept the behavior. You didn’t break em, don’t waste your time trying to fix them or waiting for them to fix themselves. (They won’t)
There are women out there getting flowers, stuffed animals, being treated great, emotional needs are being met, trips, respect, white picket fence & a dog the whole 9. That SAME man also has a whole different family in another location doing the same thing to another woman. A man treating you like a “queen” doesn’t mean he’s not also treating another woman like a queen. Men have been living double and triple lives since the beginning of time and it won’t stop. Quit thinking you’re special sweetie- there are women all over the world who thought they had a “good man” until they discovered he was being the same to someone else. Men are who they need to be when they need to be it. Common sense is necessary.
@@AL-ALady lol so I can get multiple allowances, TUITION fully paid, get free luxury vacations, rent paid for years, a car, and presents, but because I don’t have a house yet in my early twenties, it’s a failure? Lol sis if you are jealous just say so 😘 💋. But it isn’t cute and won’t get you what you want 😉
the way i see it is, if a man is showing a woman just enough interest to keep her hooked but not enough to make her feel loved, that man isn’t a good man, he isn’t good for anyone not even the one he “‘really wants” .Those are games and real men don’t play games. when women come out saying things like the way he treats you is how he feels about you or he did this and that because he doesn’t like you, i beg to differ. How he treats you is who he is, it has nothing to do with anyone but himself. This narrative i believe contributes to women internalizing negativity about themselves ultimately causing self-hate. Now the woman is left feeling like she is not good enough or she could have looked or acted differently to make him treat her better. No sis, it’s none of the above. That is called mistreatment. Decent people don’t go around mistreating people simply because of how they feel about them. That is an excuse for being a shitty human. Only good for nothing, selfish and characterless humans do that. It’s a sad world when women find it necessary to read and decode a man’s actions just to find out he doesn’t want you. We need to instead normalize men simply sitting a girl down and respectfully telling her how he feels and that he needs to move on.
Exactly. Men who give you loads of gifts and spoil you haven’t found “the one,” per se. They probably have you on a pedestal, and it’s only a matter of time before he finds a reason to push you off.
thank you for bringing in this perspective, because this whole video maybe meant well, but came off as blaming only women for the way men treat them. Always show people how you need to be treated, but also, like, maybe don't deal at all with assholes capable of treating a woman like trash? A *real* nice guy isn't going to do that, even to a woman he isn't interested in, because it's not in his character.
if a man is showing a woman just enough interest to keep her hooked but not enough to make her feel loved, that man isn’t a good man, he isn’t good for anyone not even the one he “‘really wants” .Those are games and real men don’t play games. THANK YOUUUUUU!!!!!!!
They all know what they are doing. It's in how they be treating other men with empathy but withdraw that when it comes to you and then you start making excuses for them. You don't need to teach no man how to treat you. If he wanted, he would.
Thank you so much, Priscilla. Men know. And when they get away with less, they remember. And ultimately, your life is generated by how you treat yourself. Someone else can augment, but they can never replace your own self-concept.
Well yea, they’re not morons. If you feel like you deserve better, cut contact with him. This took me a long while to realize, but yeah it is what it is.
that woman in the robe is full of it. she knows damn well all that stuff isn't the norm gtfoh. we are raising the low standards ma'am. thats the damn point
Exactly, I have had some relationships be awesome, long and respectful but not because I did some "perfect" magic to make it happen. It's just because it WAS or ended up that way. There is no recipe to make it work with everyone or just anyone. I've had guys act this way upfront (take charge, paying for things, being a real gentleman) and quickly fizzle out. That's why for over a year now I told myself I NEED to just be friends with a guy and not get sucked into the whirlwind of the "dating activity." (FYI - online dating folks, always move faster than when you meet in person, I don't know why...its just something I have noticed with men)
Online dating people have this “you know what this is” mentality, and have a “Tinderfied” expectation of dating regardless of what app or website you meet them from.
I can honestly say, that I have never had a man who didn't do things like that for me. If I ever came across a guy who wasn't romantic in the way that I wanted, he got cut off. I didn't even waste my time. Ladies, I'd advise you do the same.
This guy ain’t lying. That is why I don’t understand why women deal with men that treat them Like crap. No man is better than a man who is treating you like garbage. Find a man that is just as excited and happy to be with you like you are with him. 😊
I'm glad I stumbled across this because it verifies something I've said many times... People are honest, loyal and loving to who they choose to be those things to. If you aren't their ideal you're a bench warmer period. You can't force or teach someone to love you if they don't. I commented this on another post a while ago and I was getting replies like "that's a lie", "they can only be that way for their ideal for only so long before their true colors show", "this is victim blaming"!
They ALL know how they treat you. It's not just SOME MEN. pay no attention to what he SAYS. ONLY PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT HE DOES. YES, know your boundaries and cut them no slack!
Wow. I wish I’d known this years ago rather than staying with my ex for so long, thinking he still probably cared because he did the bare minimum. Love these videos, but genuinly considering never dating again now, it just doesn’t seem worth it.
I went on a date with a guy and I drove a decent way to pick him up. We decided to go to a restaurant that was back closer to where I came from. We got there and sat down and before we even ordered a drink he says " damb I forgot my wallet!" I looked at him and said," Are you serious??" He thought I was going to feel bad and pay for the whole date. I said well enjoy your water because I didn't bring enough money for this and all I have is gas money to replace all the gas I just used to pick your ass up. I drove him home and that was that. It was so obvious he did it on purpose.
Yes my man broke his word and I don't put up with it then he came to me saying "I did nothing", I told him "have a nice day". I don't put up with any BS then 10min later he confronted why I was upset. I still didn't tolerate until he fixed it. So guess what? A few hrs later, he did what he supposed to do as promised. Summary, they know what they do to you and test your boundaries and intelligence. Don't bend down ur boundaries
That first one is painfully true, even if the guys aren't aware of it. Those "I don't show affection like that" types are just going "I don't show affection like that to YOU." If he cares about you, he will want to spoil you. Period, paragraph.
I personally had it happen where all the things I begged one of my exes to do, I watched him do for the woman he left me for. It was a hard truth but I learned that you find someone who does all those things for you with out you asking. But don't expect them to be a mind reader either also state your expectations.
This is why l stopped building men after my divorce. I keep seeing men on facebook who want women to help them succeed and l laugh at the joke. I build myself for success before l can even consider anyone if there is room. Because after succeeding, am chilling. Whoever came up with ' helping a man suceed' must be a man. Well... not any more and alot of women have come to that realisation. They are labelling us feminist or the independent woman with a negative connotation to it... Well...we are not stepping back. It's an unstoppable movement cause we are ending slavery of women. Its a DIVINE CALLING. FEMININE ENERGY RAISING....period
If how people treat people is a reflection of themselves, that also applies to men too. If he dont respect his self; he wont respect you. Why would a man want to be with a woman he thinks he can undermind; unless he is underminding himself in his OWN life.
Ooohhh lived 10 years with a guy in my 20s. He refused to acknowledge me as his partner on something a basic as face book. He begrudgingly let me have a facebook profile and i was allowed to say I was in a relationship.... but not who. 6 months after the last time i saw him (when i helped him moving out of the house i was still listed on the lease 3 years after i left him), he showed up as "in a relationship with X" .... so clearly i just wasnt good enough 😕
I actually appreciate him saying this! It proved my suspicions about whenever I would call guys out on this. They would tell me that's not what it is. Weeeell, BAM! There it is! I was right and I feel even better about ditching those dudes.
This is the proper take away. Why would I want a man that did that to 6 other women, but not to me? 😂 that sounds like dating a serial killer who won't kill you.
Also don’t fall for the trap of I’m the special one that he treats different. He should have been treated all the women he was with nicely because he chose to be with them. What happens when YOU stop being special. When you gain weight, when you get sick. He will treat you like all the other unspecial woman he was with.
After this video, I feel significantly less guilty about cutting ties with a guy in college who led me on and claimed he was sorry and wouldn’t do it again
Got flowers...after fights...pushed into marriage from distant family. Told to be more understanding/tactical in telling him NO I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX....didn't marry, never will, hence why they were pushing for it.
I married one of those. He won’t buy flowers but maybe once a year. He doesn’t think he should. I can honestly blame his Uber-religious upbringing. But he used it as an excuse to not put in the effort, so… I got a better (pay and hours) job Started buying my own whateverthehell I want. Got my own vehicle Took myself to the movies, restaurants, etc. Left him at home Bought Stanley Cup Finals tickets for us. Let his friends know I did it. Let them know he didn’t do much for me. Let them do the work
If women start treat men the way they treat us... Well, at 53 years old, single and world traveller, I just started. I'v have 2 guys buying presents, more 2 on the line. The thing is: I'm enjoying so much that I'll never want to be merry again. Marriage is a trap.
My issue is when I get the excellent treatment that I believe I deserve and other women who ‘worship men’ or think they’re the ‘cool girl’ or ‘not like other girls’ or only meet the very niche big booty standards for loser males try and get ME to lower my standards. The chubby ish girl who said she got all the good treatment and still got played, that’s called ‘future faking’. And those guys usually love bomb you in the beginning with gifts, money etc., If you are THAT girl you get the ring, the lavish wedding and you still remain vigilant thru out the marriage especially when babies 👶🏾 come into the picture.
They know exactly what they doing because they put you in categories. A guy i know turned into a "Jehovah witness"on holidays,but claim he was buying gift for his mom that 's one.😂Chile
I always preferred interacting with the guy who isn't 'romantic' than the guy who used romance to guilt you into whatever he wanted. At least with the first guy you go have a fun date or two and move on. The other type cling and your friends say there is something wrong with you, either not realizing what he's really doing or wont believe anyone who is so romantic could be a user.
Males admit stuff like this, then be quick to tell us “Date someone who likes you.” When the bigger question is why spend/waste time w/ someone they don’t like. “Logical gender.”
stop treating these ninjas like gods , stop talking so much, stop being desperate, and stop acting like a blonde, make him WORK and prove himself, stop dating EX cons and ninjas on parole, NEVER let them move in your home, or drive your car and ladies, never co-sign for these ninjas, never let them isolate you from you support system (family/friends) ...and never take them serious date, and keep it moving !!
Reminder that there is no such thing as a “bad texter”. It’s okay to take a while to respond if you are busy, but nothing is stopping you from responding to me in full sentences. Do you know how to speak and write? Then you can text. He’s just not interested.
Oh honey....i have a dead beat chased after me. After u reject him, he goes marry other girl..only to leave her 1 month, A MONTH after she give birth while still try to get with me.😂 And have the audacity to call me old and i should get with him. I laugh at him and thanks him for belly-full laugh. And blocked his ass
Each playboy have his first relationship in his timeline. He is incel before that. So you never know for sure, until some other girl will suffer from his actions.
If he wanted he would ladies a man telling you he is not romantic nah he is just not being to you but the moment he finds his dream girl he is out that's don't barbara builder
@@ajoyner614 he has a previous baby momma and she's an abusive alcoholic, he got her hands a few times and I guess she cut his lip and stuff like that. He has a scar from it. Overall she just super fucked up his life and he's pulling himself out of the 10k cc debt she put him in. I just asked him out of curiosity and his response was that by not getting married it was the best thing he's ever done. Tbh I can't say he's wrong at least with his perspective.
@@HauntedCadaverso, you're o k with letting him use you for sex and possibly get you pregnant? Plus, if he's broke, why are you with him? Why do you assume he's telling the truth about his children's mother? Did you witness it? Why would you be with a man who is in debt for back child support? You think a man who doesn't provide for his children is a good? Crazy.
I dont want a guy who does conspicuous consumption or made in china crap. If a guy knew me they would never buy me mass produced shit. But a guy went op-shopping and found something he knew i was looking for, or a living plant, or a peice of jewellery from a local/ small ethical jeweller
I only recently became aware of this when a guy I was dating basically told me step by step how logically he planned out every single thing he did with me to get a certain result. It occurred to me then that it's really only women who are always emotionally confused by relationships. Since then, I do not put up with ANYTHING men do anymore and I cut them off immediately when I see behaviors I do not like. I don't care if it's someone I am interested in or someone I work with. I don't question whether they might fix that behavior if they knew about it. I don't assume they misinterpreted something. I do not give all those benefits of doubt that I used to. They always know what they are doing in pursuing women or being around women because most of them spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to manipulate women to get what they want.
💯 truth
great lesson
Isn't that just normal human interaction? I mean if you are interested in someone and you want to establish a reletionship you have to plan somthing to show intrest right? Is it really bad if you try to work to a certain outcome with actions? I don't understand what you mean tbh..
Sis you ain't never lied..🤦🏾♀️
Well written..I too used to be emotionally confused by relationships!!
I find myself way more interesting than many of the men I come across. You can be beautiful, intelligent all these things and men will still not appreciate you. So don't feel bad and continue to love and appreciate yourself.
Thanks for this because I’m officially done trying to be what they want.
🎯
Exactly. I feel the same way about myself. 🔥🙌🏽💯
💯
Narcissists typically think like this..
A man will treat you the way he feels about you. Period
So treat him how he treats you,period 💗💗
@@Iamhere829 exactly that's what girls do go cry to LAPD.
I have seen men buy women flowers, food, cars… fix shit, meet family, friends, put labels on it, post on Facebook … show up… and then tell me she’s a “cunt” and he can’t stand her while trying to cheat with me. My ex husband was bringing me coffee and cuddling while planning our divorce behind my back. Do not come at women and call them stupid for not knowing, because you don’t. Ps… I’ll take the low effort I’ll give you absolutely nothing guy, because at least I KNOW where I stood with him. If he’s a fuck up piece of shit from day 1… I guess he can’t wreck my world with a switch up 🤷♀️ … that being said I found peace and freedom alone. I’m the only one disappointing me right now 😘
There was once a guy that was totally doing all the things that boyfriends do only to tell me that he wanted to be friends with benefits.
Like… It’s really not us, it’s them changing the rules and the meanings of things. And then trying to make it like we’re the dumb ones for believing what we see.
This is also true.happened to me.while taking me place's,telling me how much He want's US to build a Family get a child, cuddling,smiling,taking me to romantic Restaurants..He also was planing he's Exit behind my back😂🤣Like wtf.this is one of the worst way to break up with a person.also this reminds me of Yeezy divorcing Jeannie Mai behindeher back.this men are sick
Stories like yours really scare me. I just do not understand males their actions their words and intentions..... I'm so freaking scared...
@@vector3d654 Especially when people tell us “don’t believe a man by his words, believe him by his actions“.
Well, we can’t even believe THAT anymore!
@@vector3d654Focus on vetting, have good standards, then you won't need to be scared. Be ruthless when vetting people or learn how to vet throughly, even friends, then you will be safe and it is the key to healthy relationships.
My opinion : “dating” is stupid & pointless. Unless you’re young and dating to have fun and NOT sleeping with people and just having men court you and take you out to places, it’s just a complete waste of time. I opted out of dating and I’m staying celibate and in prayer for the right man to come to me. I’m not wasting anymore energy on trying to find him.
Celibacy is wonderful! I didn’t say it was easy, but it protects you from so many problems!
Yes! Everything you said! I've decided not to waste time dating either. Especially NOT online dating. MAJOR WASTE OF TIME. My time is more valuable than any man's time - literally and metaphorically.
Me too.
I’m not sure that’s a good strategy, but you do you.
🎯
If i had been listening to the first clip even just a year ago, i know i would have been feeling pangs of shame and envy that i wasn't "that girl" who gets to be treated like a queen (or whatever that first guy thinks he's doing.) But i just listened and got to the end of the video without thinking about myself and my lack of male validation. I just came back to write this comment and celebrate, de-centering men must really be taking root in my heart❤
I can't wait to reach to this level. I'm new on my journey of decentering men. I'm so happy for you and the peace that you've found ❤
I know those feelings of shame all too well when you aren’t “that girl”.
But really it is those men who should be ashamed, stringing us along, treating us badly because they feel they would rather have someone else. This type of man is a bad partner. Even if he finally finds “that girl” and treats her better he is only treating her well because he is getting what he wants, not because he is a decent person.
I wish I had been able to watch these types of videos when I started dating.
@@knot_kisses Thank you, and you'll get there too, maybe even sooner than you expected!
@@Lilzki Yes! You really hit the nail on the head. After I got some time out from relationships and "romance" etc, those are the types of questions I was asking myself. Like why am *I* the one feeling ashamed when it's someone else that acted disrespectfully? Once you start thinking about that, then you start letting go of baggage that isn't yours to carry. And you see the men more clearly, and their validation just doesn't feel important anymore. And then you can finally exhale.
@emem6935 exactly, you put it into words really well !
Yep, killing the myth of the bumbling partner or the unaware partner who ‘just isn’t that kind of guy’ to buy or acknowledge special occasions and make his partner feel special is the biggest step towards raising your standards.
Men are aware of their words and actions far more than we’ve been giving them credit. It’s why short of outright lying, many men will go as far as stretching the truth, moving the goal post, and creating all sorts of excuses to attain whatever benefit he gets out of dating or continuing to date you while also not fulfilling your needs or wants as long as you let him.
And because he knows you want more out of him, and are still entertaining him when he doesn’t measure up, THAT is why he’ll continue to do less. There’s no incentive because he gets what he wants out of it (for now) and no consequence from the woman.
Thank you. I definitely appreciate that sentiment. 💯 I am in A very dull, unloving and financially abusive marriage and working on getting out.
Facts! This was my last relationship. Never again!!
@@The_Mimare you traditional woman? How is your situation?
Talk about flowers, a man will go as far as marrying you and still devalue you by cheating in the marriage. Love yourself first.
My husband refuses to write me love letters but always by force would buy me the latest gadgets, buy me houses and takes me on trips. He even called me ugly in so called jokes in comparison to our daughter. At this point I don’t care, the real estate is mine and Id rather fight for that than love and flowers.
A guy tried to ask me to pay for him on a date. I laughed in his face! I told him never in my life. Don't insult me.
Even if they genuinely didn’t know they were doing wrong, it’s still okay for you not to accept the behavior. You didn’t break em, don’t waste your time trying to fix them or waiting for them to fix themselves. (They won’t)
There are women out there getting flowers, stuffed animals, being treated great, emotional needs are being met, trips, respect, white picket fence & a dog the whole 9. That SAME man also has a whole different family in another location doing the same thing to another woman. A man treating you like a “queen” doesn’t mean he’s not also treating another woman like a queen. Men have been living double and triple lives since the beginning of time and it won’t stop. Quit thinking you’re special sweetie- there are women all over the world who thought they had a “good man” until they discovered he was being the same to someone else. Men are who they need to be when they need to be it. Common sense is necessary.
Yes. Then , there are those men messing/married/dating three different women. And doing nothing for any of them.
As a SW who gets her rent paid primarily by married, I completely agree lol
@@mistressmonroe557Why haven't they bought you a house? 😂😂😂
@@AL-ALady lol so I can get multiple allowances, TUITION fully paid, get free luxury vacations, rent paid for years, a car, and presents, but because I don’t have a house yet in my early twenties, it’s a failure? Lol sis if you are jealous just say so 😘 💋. But it isn’t cute and won’t get you what you want 😉
@@AL-ALady tell me how this is subpar. Genuinely curious. Do men finance ANYTHING for you? 😂
the way i see it is, if a man is showing a woman just enough interest to keep her hooked but not enough to make her feel
loved, that man isn’t a good man, he isn’t good for anyone not even the one he “‘really wants” .Those are games and real men don’t play games.
when women come out saying things like the way he treats you is how he feels about you or he did this and that because he doesn’t like you, i beg to differ. How he treats you is who he is, it has nothing to do with anyone but himself. This narrative i believe contributes to women internalizing negativity about themselves ultimately causing self-hate. Now the woman is left feeling like she is not good enough or she could have looked or acted differently to make him treat her better. No sis, it’s none of the above. That is called mistreatment. Decent people don’t go around mistreating people simply because of how they feel about them. That is an excuse for being a shitty human. Only good for nothing, selfish and characterless humans do that.
It’s a sad world when women find it necessary to read and decode a man’s actions just to find out he doesn’t want you. We need to instead normalize men simply sitting a girl down and respectfully telling her how he feels and that he needs to move on.
Exactly. Men who give you loads of gifts and spoil you haven’t found “the one,” per se. They probably have you on a pedestal, and it’s only a matter of time before he finds a reason to push you off.
thank you for bringing in this perspective, because this whole video maybe meant well, but came off as blaming only women for the way men treat them. Always show people how you need to be treated, but also, like, maybe don't deal at all with assholes capable of treating a woman like trash? A *real* nice guy isn't going to do that, even to a woman he isn't interested in, because it's not in his character.
if a man is showing a woman just enough interest to keep her hooked but not enough to make her feel
loved, that man isn’t a good man, he isn’t good for anyone not even the one he “‘really wants” .Those are games and real men don’t play games. THANK YOUUUUUU!!!!!!!
I can't thank you enough for this! Makes SO MUCH sense! And I think it's also works for friendships too
Thank you very much for this comment!
Males do what they wanna do😒😑
They all know what they are doing. It's in how they be treating other men with empathy but withdraw that when it comes to you and then you start making excuses for them. You don't need to teach no man how to treat you. If he wanted, he would.
Thank you so much, Priscilla. Men know. And when they get away with less, they remember.
And ultimately, your life is generated by how you treat yourself. Someone else can augment, but they can never replace your own self-concept.
They know what they’re doing
Well yea, they’re not morons. If you feel like you deserve better, cut contact with him. This took me a long while to realize, but yeah it is what it is.
that woman in the robe is full of it. she knows damn well all that stuff isn't the norm gtfoh. we are raising the low standards ma'am. thats the damn point
Yep. Know your worth. Love yourself. And keep those boundaries in place
Exactly, I have had some relationships be awesome, long and respectful but not because I did some "perfect" magic to make it happen. It's just because it WAS or ended up that way. There is no recipe to make it work with everyone or just anyone.
I've had guys act this way upfront (take charge, paying for things, being a real gentleman) and quickly fizzle out. That's why for over a year now I told myself I NEED to just be friends with a guy and not get sucked into the whirlwind of the "dating activity."
(FYI - online dating folks, always move faster than when you meet in person, I don't know why...its just something I have noticed with men)
Online dating people have this “you know what this is” mentality, and have a “Tinderfied” expectation of dating regardless of what app or website you meet them from.
My ex was super romantic and it made me realize when you really love someone romance comes natural.
@@lurkingindacomments7865Yes,They said ex.
I can honestly say, that I have never had a man who didn't do things like that for me. If I ever came across a guy who wasn't romantic in the way that I wanted, he got cut off. I didn't even waste my time. Ladies, I'd advise you do the same.
YES 🙌🏾 😊
Yep. 💯‼️ I’m spoiled lol
All these games they play. Too much work to be extra vigilant of every step they make. It's always some bs. Ladies, just focus on yourself.
Yeah they exhaust me to the point of being so disgusted with them and their 12 year old games
@@susanwagner1312 And they wonder why there's a growing trend of women opting for the single, child-free life.
This guy ain’t lying. That is why I don’t understand why women deal with men that treat them
Like crap. No man is better than a man who is treating you like garbage. Find a man that is just as excited and happy to be with you like you are with him. 😊
I'm glad I stumbled across this because it verifies something I've said many times... People are honest, loyal and loving to who they choose to be those things to. If you aren't their ideal you're a bench warmer period. You can't force or teach someone to love you if they don't. I commented this on another post a while ago and I was getting replies like "that's a lie", "they can only be that way for their ideal for only so long before their true colors show", "this is victim blaming"!
You're absolutely correct and don't allow anyone especially men convince you you're wrong.
They ALL know how they treat you. It's not just SOME MEN. pay no attention to what he SAYS. ONLY PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT HE DOES. YES, know your boundaries and cut them no slack!
sis you are bringing great content
Thank you so much 🤗
Wow. I wish I’d known this years ago rather than staying with my ex for so long, thinking he still probably cared because he did the bare minimum.
Love these videos, but genuinly considering never dating again now, it just doesn’t seem worth it.
I went on a date with a guy and I drove a decent way to pick him up. We decided to go to a restaurant that was back closer to where I came from. We got there and sat down and before we even ordered a drink he says " damb I forgot my wallet!" I looked at him and said," Are you serious??" He thought I was going to feel bad and pay for the whole date. I said well enjoy your water because I didn't bring enough money for this and all I have is gas money to replace all the gas I just used to pick your ass up. I drove him home and that was that. It was so obvious he did it on purpose.
Please don't pick guys up for dates.
@@ds37215 ‼️
@@ds37215 - Yes, and don't allow them to pick you up from your home either. Meet in a public place.
@@ds37215thank you she did too much picking him up
I'm gonna make sure my daughter knows these things when she gets older. She will not go out here blind like I did.
Yes my man broke his word and I don't put up with it then he came to me saying "I did nothing", I told him "have a nice day". I don't put up with any BS then 10min later he confronted why I was upset. I still didn't tolerate until he fixed it. So guess what? A few hrs later, he did what he supposed to do as promised. Summary, they know what they do to you and test your boundaries and intelligence. Don't bend down ur boundaries
Right, my current partner who I'm leaving soon is babied at 46 by his mother. It is women who create this type of men.
I love the saying "when people show you who they are, believe them."
That first one is painfully true, even if the guys aren't aware of it. Those "I don't show affection like that" types are just going "I don't show affection like that to YOU."
If he cares about you, he will want to spoil you. Period, paragraph.
I personally had it happen where all the things I begged one of my exes to do, I watched him do for the woman he left me for. It was a hard truth but I learned that you find someone who does all those things for you with out you asking. But don't expect them to be a mind reader either also state your expectations.
This is why l stopped building men after my divorce. I keep seeing men on facebook who want women to help them succeed and l laugh at the joke. I build myself for success before l can even consider anyone if there is room. Because after succeeding, am chilling. Whoever came up with ' helping a man suceed' must be a man. Well... not any more and alot of women have come to that realisation. They are labelling us feminist or the independent woman with a negative connotation to it...
Well...we are not stepping back. It's an unstoppable movement cause we are ending slavery of women. Its a DIVINE CALLING. FEMININE ENERGY RAISING....period
Period❤
THEY ALL KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING. If he doesnt want to its because he doesnt want to
If how people treat people is a reflection of themselves, that also applies to men too.
If he dont respect his self; he wont respect you. Why would a man want to be with a woman he thinks he can undermind; unless he is underminding himself in his OWN life.
He's not ghosting you, you're just Tuesday girl😂
They know. They just don't care.
YES! They DO NOT CARE!
Ooohhh lived 10 years with a guy in my 20s. He refused to acknowledge me as his partner on something a basic as face book. He begrudgingly let me have a facebook profile and i was allowed to say I was in a relationship.... but not who.
6 months after the last time i saw him (when i helped him moving out of the house i was still listed on the lease 3 years after i left him), he showed up as "in a relationship with X" .... so clearly i just wasnt good enough 😕
Why did you live with a guy who didn't marry you?
If you don’t like the way they treat you then you don’t stick around, you drop them like a sack of potatoes 😂
I actually appreciate him saying this! It proved my suspicions about whenever I would call guys out on this. They would tell me that's not what it is. Weeeell, BAM! There it is! I was right and I feel even better about ditching those dudes.
Myn are psychopaths
This is the proper take away. Why would I want a man that did that to 6 other women, but not to me? 😂 that sounds like dating a serial killer who won't kill you.
Yes I'm so glad I don't deal with them
These men ninjas 😂😂
Also don’t fall for the trap of I’m the special one that he treats different. He should have been treated all the women he was with nicely because he chose to be with them. What happens when YOU stop being special. When you gain weight, when you get sick. He will treat you like all the other unspecial woman he was with.
🎉 yup. Character is usually consistent
So we were right yet again 😂 IF HE WANTED TO HE WUD bahahahaha
After this video, I feel significantly less guilty about cutting ties with a guy in college who led me on and claimed he was sorry and wouldn’t do it again
Eating my breakfast as I watch another video of yours, great way to start a day haha ❤ whant a cup of coffe sistah? ❤
Yes please!☺️
Press F for all of his previous partners
I think that man want to make his ex mad
Thats why I don't waste my time on guys who are not romantic or not dating to marry.
When he said the you is silent, my eyes bugged out my head.
The fella with the stuffed cow : precious. He's giddy in love. Out here buying stuffed cows because she will like it. ❤
It'll fade in 6 months, then he'll moan about all women being the same...
We aren't created to beg and suffer.
We're created to be worshipped. As soon as a woman finds that, she stops begging and suffering.
This video is breaking my heart
I like how you curated these videos, the message is cohesive and is conveyed with clarity 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 good job girl!
"UNtil i met tata" 😂
😹
Shout-out to the editor, the cuts are clean and the look is amazing
Got flowers...after fights...pushed into marriage from distant family. Told to be more understanding/tactical in telling him NO I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX....didn't marry, never will, hence why they were pushing for it.
I married one of those. He won’t buy flowers but maybe once a year. He doesn’t think he should. I can honestly blame his Uber-religious upbringing. But he used it as an excuse to not put in the effort, so…
I got a better (pay and hours) job
Started buying my own whateverthehell I want.
Got my own vehicle
Took myself to the movies, restaurants, etc. Left him at home
Bought Stanley Cup Finals tickets for us. Let his friends know I did it. Let them know he didn’t do much for me. Let them do the work
This is my partner. Haven't been to s single place he promised. Haven't got the money to leave him yet
If women start treat men the way they treat us... Well, at 53 years old, single and world traveller, I just started. I'v have 2 guys buying presents, more 2 on the line. The thing is: I'm enjoying so much that I'll never want to be merry again. Marriage is a trap.
😅 I love old ladies like you. Yall don't give no fuc*s
Damn! Folks is taking L's out there. Good will hunting 😂
My issue is when I get the excellent treatment that I believe I deserve and other women who ‘worship men’ or think they’re the ‘cool girl’ or ‘not like other girls’ or only meet the very niche big booty standards for loser males try and get ME to lower my standards.
The chubby ish girl who said she got all the good treatment and still got played, that’s called ‘future faking’. And those guys usually love bomb you in the beginning with gifts, money etc.,
If you are THAT girl you get the ring, the lavish wedding and you still remain vigilant thru out the marriage especially when babies 👶🏾 come into the picture.
The only thing a big booty deformed wasp body gets you is single motherhood.
Noted 📝
what you said at the end, i really needed to hear that.... thank you x i've been binging your vids and have subscribed x
Thanks for subbing!
if woman said she dated over 20 men. men would declare body count war lol if a wanna keep me as option i would swith and keep him as option too.
Excellent video!!
Glad you liked it!
They know exactly what they doing because they put you in categories. A guy i know turned into a "Jehovah witness"on holidays,but claim he was buying gift for his mom that 's one.😂Chile
I always preferred interacting with the guy who isn't 'romantic' than the guy who used romance to guilt you into whatever he wanted. At least with the first guy you go have a fun date or two and move on. The other type cling and your friends say there is something wrong with you, either not realizing what he's really doing or wont believe anyone who is so romantic could be a user.
y'all don't like us, that's fine. just tell us instead of dragging it out? not communicating is so disrespectful.
Yes....they are....
Males admit stuff like this, then be quick to tell us “Date someone who likes you.” When the bigger question is why spend/waste time w/ someone they don’t like. “Logical gender.”
Yep case closed! 🎉
stop treating these ninjas like gods , stop talking so much, stop being desperate, and stop acting like a blonde, make him WORK and prove himself, stop dating EX cons and ninjas on parole, NEVER let them move in your home, or drive your car and ladies, never co-sign for these ninjas, never let them isolate you from you support system (family/friends) ...and never take them serious date, and keep it moving !!
Reminder that there is no such thing as a “bad texter”. It’s okay to take a while to respond if you are busy, but nothing is stopping you from responding to me in full sentences. Do you know how to speak and write? Then you can text. He’s just not interested.
Oh honey....i have a dead beat chased after me. After u reject him, he goes marry other girl..only to leave her 1 month, A MONTH after she give birth while still try to get with me.😂
And have the audacity to call me old and i should get with him. I laugh at him and thanks him for belly-full laugh. And blocked his ass
A stuffed cow? 😒💅🏽
Each playboy have his first relationship in his timeline. He is incel before that. So you never know for sure, until some other girl will suffer from his actions.
This!
If he wanted he would ladies a man telling you he is not romantic nah he is just not being to you but the moment he finds his dream girl he is out that's don't barbara builder
Is it a green flag if I'm with a guy who is also indifferent with the idea of marriage?
Depends imho. Are you indifferent about marriage?
@@bunnybeetle1304 yes
Ask him why he's indifferent. Have a full conversation about it.
@@ajoyner614 he has a previous baby momma and she's an abusive alcoholic, he got her hands a few times and I guess she cut his lip and stuff like that. He has a scar from it. Overall she just super fucked up his life and he's pulling himself out of the 10k cc debt she put him in. I just asked him out of curiosity and his response was that by not getting married it was the best thing he's ever done. Tbh I can't say he's wrong at least with his perspective.
@@HauntedCadaverso, you're o k with letting him use you for sex and possibly get you pregnant? Plus, if he's broke, why are you with him? Why do you assume he's telling the truth about his children's mother? Did you witness it? Why would you be with a man who is in debt for back child support? You think a man who doesn't provide for his children is a good? Crazy.
He not even cute
😹😹😹
😷😤🤧
I dont want a guy who does conspicuous consumption or made in china crap. If a guy knew me they would never buy me mass produced shit.
But a guy went op-shopping and found something he knew i was looking for, or a living plant, or a peice of jewellery from a local/ small ethical jeweller