When He Flakes On You, Send Him THIS Text (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)
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- Опубліковано 30 вер 2016
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I post new dating advice for women every Sunday.
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You had a lovely date. The guy told you he was “looking forward to seeing you again sometime.”
Then a day goes by... then a week... still nothing…
Suddenly he texts: “heyyyy.” You send a few messages back and forth, but you wonder why he’s so flaky about making plans with you.
In this week’s video, I show you a live demo of the HIGH-VALUE response you must give a guy to guarantee he’ll grow a pair and schedule a REAL date with you...
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I swear dating is more difficult than organic chemistry
opalfishy You know !!!! Omg 😮😩
A huge part IS organic chemistry though... ;-)
Having dated and taken a year of Organic Chemistry, I can verify this comment.
Chemistry has laws. Dating is like drinking unlabeled bottles of who-knows-what.
Omg absolutely 😂
My Mom always told me a man who is truly interested in you, will never leave you guessing. His intentions will be clear and forthright.
Akilah Brayboy one day I'll marry a man like this. Wise mother xo
Thanks for this. 😀
I'll take mums advise. She's absolutely right
I think that would just be boring. Who hasn't felt smothered by a guy who sent a billion textmessages a day and told you exactly what he felt? Something like that just scares me away because its just as desperate in a man as it is in a woman...
upfront does not mean desperate. Something got lost in translation for you there
Damn girl dont go with the guy that spends his free time with you. Date the guy that frees time to spend with you
Perfectly stated!
💣💣💣
No woman is interested in that guy
This blew my mind!! 🤯🙌🏽
Ok. If he really wants to see you. He will make plans to see you.
Chatos 92 Sad, but true. The exact situation occurred today. Boy, bye 👋🏻.
Chad Porter True.
Thank you. :)
@@youtubetv775 Don't allow it Boo! He messes up the first time....Bid him GodSpeed! Clear red flag!
Period!
Simple.
I thought older men would have enough sense and man up. After four weeks of getting to know a guy I found out age makes no difference. I. Give. Up. Period.
Ditto..
Older means they can continue to rely on what has worked for them. They’ve gotten lazy.
Yup absolutely! I'm 55 dating a 54 year old guy! Lazy, assess and they obviously have not learned a thing
Exactly.
Me too!!!!
When a guy flakes on you, just show him the door. he's showing you how much he doesn't care about you
No matter what she texts him he's not that interested.
What is intrest? anything that is scarce people jump to it.We need water but do we run after it?no because it is in abundance .What we run after?Diamonds ,whey diamonds have value? beauty ,yes but also because they are scarce.HUman mind is very easy to manipulate,idk why i am writing all this,lamo
Rose BPOS I told my boyfriend I had feelings for him. We had been friends for years. And I just told him. He said he had feelings for me too and then he asked me out on a date. Does that mean I don't have respect for myself?
Welp, I did the same thing she did
MyssPersnickety1 He made no real plans ... over the weekend could be Friday night or Saturday or Sunday ... all while wondering which day he “ might “ pick.
@@dzah-dahzaaali3335 considering how a majority of people fall for frauds like diamonds, I am not optimistic about the human species. I will be much happier as a single woman.
What is with the freaking games? I want someone who wants me. I don't want to have to play the stupid powerstruggle. How hard is it to have no b.s.?
Totally agree with you. This guy is not interested in the girl.
I agree with you this is all about playing the game back. Not about having someone who is genuine.
Amen.
From my last six months experience in begin Ng single, the answer to that question is "it's damned near impossible to have no bs"
It’s all to entertain them. Literally. The do it to entertain themselves. These women are just playthings with on/off buttons to men like this.
I think we should all stay single, that way it's less complicated, because it seems like you have to take an exam of how to text someone and hopefully get back a reasonable response.
no no if you want to be with someone have faith and realise the right guy will come along but you have got to be positive about these things. I recently had an amazing connection with someone I didn't realise he still cared for someone else and I am not sure what has happened to him but I know what a great person I am and he will realised that he should of given us a chance and I will meet someone else cause I know my worth and any guy is right for you will not mess you around.
Lol Sacha...seems like it. It's hard dating...staying single seems the better option sometimes.
Stormeyworld I agree in many ways it is easier being single but for me I have never really dated I always got to know the guy as a friend and things developed from there. I totally understand why people hate dating especially if it is a blind date or your online dating.
agreed... being single is so much less headache ... id rather invest my time in growing my career than learning when how what to text ... its just stupid ... too many mind games
lol this is the most awesome comment
She was just an option. She needs to make him as an option as well, and not a priority.
Miss V hmm no. He is not even an option or priority in my case.
@Десислава Балабанова lol my thoughts exactly
She needs to make him deleted and blocked! She obviously wants more than a friendship. He has no boundaries because like many of us it’s nice to be liked and check on. He didn’t even say “I’m sorry for missing our date let me make it up to you dinner at Raphael’s on Friday or Saturday at 7pm , you pick the day that works best. See you soon gorgeous 😉”
That’s a message of a guy who is serious and interested and being flirtatious with intention to take her to a nice spot and spend time together.
Missy Bailey You wouldn’t consider what ? I said she should delete his number !
Miss V exactly that’s why some women playing games
Never give your power away to anyone. Always stay true yourself. Men is not your priority. Always put yourself first. Don't play games. Have self worth. Let go of attachment. Keep that focus on you, enjoy your life now & you will see how magnetic you are. 💖💖
I don’t make it a huge priority, but I do want to connect with somebody; I want to be intimate. I can do only so much with sex toys by myself.
And I HAVE connected with someone! The same guy who flaked on me, but I managed to get through to him that I am NOT the same as other women he’s dated in the past
@@tayl2991 are you guys still together?
@@socol76 pfft we were never together in the first place. We just had sex one day.
Man this shit is too much
I'm so tired 😟
Single is the way for me
ZANBAQ LMAO
👐👐👐Preach sister
ZANBAQ i am tired as well, whateer happened to guys saying tke your time. why are they all now coming up to women at the first hello saying your my girlfriend whether u want to be my girlfriend or not. kinda like being trapped know what i mean?
ZANBAQ I’m so tired too :(
Same
This guy who flaked doesn't give a damn. Delete and block. He's not interested enough, and if he's this nonchalant and disrespectful now, there's no hope.
Delete: yes. Block: If he's not harassing you, face it that you're only blocking because you're throwing a little "I want to hurt him and this makes me feel better" kind of tantrum.
@@d.s.v.6404 topical women
D.A. S. Welp he wouldn’t know she blocked him so 🤷♀️ And a guy that disrespectful deserves to be ignored.
U don't hv to delete nor block when u never save the number.
I notice that saving a guy number makes me quickly vulnerable to his behavior.
I think blocking isn’t always a sign of a tantrum. People who lack respect will message you out of the blue and not even consider you or what’s already gone down. I don’t think you should leave the door open for people like that. I’ve deleted and the result was I was still messaged. If you want things to end block and move on.
Screw that. Vibrators exist.
La Dama del Caribe 😂😂👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
La Dama del Caribe ha!!
La Dama del Caribe yesssss! They're awesome!
At least vibrators provide dick, without the headache!
Honestly, why buy the whole pig, when all a girl wants is a little sausage? 😂
Lol, but they can't give you love ;-)
😂🤗
The sad thing is you can’t even get excited about a date because you are afraid they are gonna flake :( Even if they haven’t done it before.
My response after one cancellation: NEXT!
Es Gee allrighty
No1 cares
Excellent
How about he had some sort of valid excuse
jeppemichael ooo, I just got that blow of fone call today of family member in hospital thing !
After watching a few of Matthew's videos,I've come to the conclusion men are too much hard work. I'm going put that energy into myself.
Yes. Love yourself, that is real love.
Better to just end things with a guy who flakes. Better to find another guy who respects and cares about you.
Dating is more like a job interview to me as terrible as it sounds.
@@jeremyreese9663 interesting. Can you tell me more?
@@tayl2991
Yeah, i no longer find dates exciting they are more like job interviews, like dont say this dont say that kinda thing etc. and wear this, dont wear that and so on, or they seem interested and all is going well than shortly afterwards sometimes they start with the ghosting.
And sometimes they will ask for a second date and state that they had a blast one minute, than the next they start with the bullshit of ghosting or all of a sudden they too busy versus before you cant get away from them, or state they wanna take it slow but talking about how they wanna fuck my brains out, and im like doesn't take it slow mean no sex until exclusive?
Or either asking about your past relationships and so on, and im like does it really matter in this stage? Shouldnt some questions be asked when exclusive?
Or either acting like they are jealous when i mentioned im out with a few guy friends or female friends, or either say they are looking for a guy like me, than when i start to reciprocate they pull away.
Its like alot are interested if they see im not interested or paying them much attention, than when i start paying them attention and tell them im starting to like them, they start acting like assholes or distant.
I mean why is it when im not interested guys and females want to pursue me, than when i show interest they start with the games and bullshit? It gets exhausting.
@@jeremyreese9663 Thank you for the explanation. I too was ghosted and stood up last night. I didn't even GET the first date. I met this guy on Facebook Dating, and we had been messaging back and forth all week since Monday, and he said he was going to meet me at the Pub last night, but he never showed and stopped responding to my messages, though he has seen and read them. I had a blast last night anyway because it was the first Karaoke night since they shut down before Christmas. I was honest with this person about who I am, what I like, what I'm looking for, and about my Mental Health problems. Now, it might have been a mistake to be upfront about my mental health right away, but I am working hard on being honest with people about my issues. I have spent a lot of my life lying, manipulating, and pretending to be someone I am not, and I got hurt when behaving that way, and I'm still getting hurt after opening myself up honestly. I'm starting to feel like I'm not capable of finding or attracting a decent man who will accept me the way that I am (And taking precautions to protect himself from potential manipulation on my part. Not saying I'm actively setting out to manipulate, I'm saying that manipulation is part of the Anti-Social Personality Disorder I have that I am working hard to stay in control of). Does that make sense? Am I really not worth a chance? Or should I wait to disclose my Mental Health Problems? I did have a wonderful Psychiatrist when I was living in Victoria, BC. Now I am back home living with my mother in Calgary, Alberta, the city I grew up in. My father passed away in 2014. He had been remarried. This person on Facebook Dating told me he accepted me and that I was exactly his type, and super hot, how much he was looking forward to making out with me and having sex with me (I was honest about still being a virgin), and he said he would meet me, and then no show and ghosting me. My point in this novel of a reply is simply this: Is it me or is it them? Do men not want to date a woman if he knows she can be manipulative and dishonest? I have an extensive list of issues and disabilities: Hearing Impairment, Autism, ADHD, Anti-Social Personality Traits, Narcissistic Personality Traits, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Learning Disability, and a past Delusional Disorder with Erotomanic Delusions and Obsessions. These are official Diagnoses I have received between 2015 and 2019. Now, having explained all this... If you were single (For the sake of argument), and you found me on Facebook Dating (The only Dating site I'm using right now), and we did actually connect on there and were matched, would you make a plan with me and actually show up? Or would you tell me you're not interested? Or would you do the same thing he did, making a plan and then doing a no-show and ghosting me? I want to know whether I'm doing something wrong or men are simply being assholes.
@@tayl2991
Shit unfortunately im hardly ever on facebook, and facebook dating is that new? Im hardly on social media very much in general, im on snapchat on occasion but other than that im on youtube checking out different videos etc. Which is how we just met, id definitely get to know you and see what you are about, we all have our flaws, at least your upfront about them, mine would be im a bit too caring and sometimes sensitive to those i care about or starting to care for, however if i dont care for a person i can be kinda cold and detached ill admit that, like for example when i care i really care and when i dont, i truly dont.
I'm tired of us women having to decode the inner workings of a man's mind. How to pacify him, show him we have standards but no be agressive. Play along when he's playing games. We are taught to be amazing at communication and nurturing. Yet, we are taught to nurse a dude's behavior because he is just a man and that's how men are. Well I'm tired of excusing inexcusable behavior. Steve Harvey told us to think like a man and Mathew is giving us a blue print to a man's behavior, smh. Where are the real solutions.
The real solutions is to find a guy who really likes you and toss out the idiots.
The solution is raising men right and teaching them the right values
LadyofCleves65 exactly..my friend girl is always making excuses for men, because her dad and brother did (yada yada yada) bullshit they need grow up. We aren't mind readers, open your mouth.
We have to truly learn our worth and trust our mind not our heart to make sound decisions on being a happier us...shit is hard but a lil of this video hit my 💓 and my mind said wtf do you boo😀 if he can fit in your life cool but if you have to lose yourself let it go
I'm experience it right now and he playing mind guessing game like twice. Heck ! my turn to play 😁
Do NOT take this advice if a guy is this flaky with you then he's not that interested in you and he wasn't to begin with so please save yourself the heartache and move on to someone who's excited about you and doesn't keep you guessing or playing games.
Love this advice. Very true.
M M he was giving advice for the women who already texted him back. Im pretty sure he said in the beginning that guys who flake are wasting women’s time
I agree. Everyone knows flaking is not the way to build trust and respect from someone. If they're doing it from the jump, they'll do it moving forward. I don't want a man who makes me question everything he says he's going to do. NEXT!
It’s not like the guy wouldn’t be interested either, some women are just too available for the other person to even try. You can actually turn it around based on your own behaviour. At some point when you know your own worth you don’t attract these types anyway.
@@Jemma29 when you know your self worth you’ll still attract them but you won’t tolerate their crap. The vast majority of people have issues so there’s no way in avoiding them however you’ll make the choice to choose you every time.
Problem is 95% of the guy's reaction will be 'I can't be bothered'.
We live in a world where being replaced by someone else easier to get is a matter of swipes.
I just think that the line between self respect and snob-busy-hard to get is very thin.
If they can't be bothered, I just saved myselft potential time and energy. Win win.
Who wants to be bothered with 95% of guys? Lol. You just want the right guy, quality.
J Q 95 per cent wow that is like we saying we only have a five per cent chance of finding the right one. For me we all have different seasons in life and are gonna be attracted to different people at various stages of our lives.
PixieLowe1 You cannot be bothered with 95% of guys. This is literally impossible even if you are immortal. Humans are designed for specialization. There is a reason why you stop noticing certain stimuli after you have been exposed to them long enough- your brain has to focus.
J Q guess we all see things differently but for me if I am in a relationship I would never cheat but I love talking to men and women and understanding why they do the things they do and what makes them happy or just knowing that I can talk to others and put a smile on there face. I love being a bit of a social butterfly and even though like I said we are all different but if am in a room for example with hundred people I would love getting to know each of every one of them. You may think I am weird but if we were all the same life would be boring right.
Better yet, when someone is truly serious about ANY relationship they CALL.
Yes! And they make a date!
No body does that anymore sadly.
Every one is afraid because they don’t want hear the emotions in your voice. Texting is safe.
Don't chase people ever. Be you and let others want to be where you are.
If he wants u nothing can keep him away. If he doesn’t nothing can make him stay.
The girl got so excited at the prospect of a date that she jumped the gun and made herself look less valuable.
Her response basically translates to : "Omg you are showing interest, here, take my weekend I have nothing better to do!"
I would have said "well i'm pretty busy this week but what did you have in mind?"
and to his "I'll hit you up over the weekend" I most definitely would have said " It will have to be something good since you owe me bigtime for flaking on the last one ;) "
Sidenote: An important rule to remember is unless you have a day ,a time and a place, you do NOT have a date.
Excellent advice!! :)
telling a guy you owe me big time so it better be bla bla blah comes off as desperate and self seeking any guy will se right passed the game
pinkunicornglitter I m using your line. Waiting to see whether it works or not. Lol
Ladies, this happened to me and I tried this and I regret doing so because:
1. Nobody owes you anything.
2. You have the power to decide how to feel right now. Happiness is within you, chose to feel it and learn to move on. It is easier said than done I get it but moving on is your best option.
3. Follow Matt’s advice. Reply a simple “alright sounds good :)” keep it at that. If this guy is interested he is going to follow up and plan a future date if he doesn’t then he wasn’t interested in the first place.
4. Remind yourself that YOU are worth of being loved. Remember ladies, if this guy can’t see that someone else will. Be open minded, give someone else that space in your heart, and go into a new situation with NO expectations.
5. Always remember that actions speak louder than words.
agree but the sidenote is not very apt as sometimes we make spontaneous plans spontaneous dates
I thought she messed up by responding at all lol. Girls just need to get real guy friends and watch them then pay attention to the way guys behave. They tell you loud and clear who they are, what they're about, and what they think of you. We just tend to try and excuse it with hopes they'll fall in love. Beauty and the beast ain't real life dolls.
True..
Some guys pretend they like to you keep you on the hook or to have you in their bed. They are not always honest and straightforward.
Truth on that
9I
Yea but it’s hard when you actually like someone.
I'm just here for the comments.
I'm just here for the "I'm just here for the comments." comments.
The comments are great! They give me confidence haha
SahanTheMighty I’m also here for the comments !
when he flakes on me, he isn't getting any text at all
Wasn't texting him first, the first mistake she made? If he flaked out the first time I wouldn't have texted him to ask how he's doing! I hate when people are flaky. You lose respect and attraction when someone does that to you. I have a feeling he flaked out again! by the way...good video Matt.
For certain! He canceled the date, I say it's on him to reschedule when he is available, that is if he REally wants to do so. She made the mistake by texting him -chasing him-after the cancellation.
agreed!
2:13 find a man who looks at you the way that guy looks at Matt
I burst out laughing oms
😂😂😂👍👍😎
Yasss
Omg!! I spit out my breakfast 😂😂😂
I had that situation, I used sarcasm, and said sure I'll just wait around until you get your shit together. winky face. Then he started to back peddle, then I made myself busy for a while!
No matter what you write to him if he's truly interested, he won't flake on you. Sooo simple.
I was in this situation! ! I wanted things to work so bad and made all those same mistakes, and you're right the guy just treated me like he'll get to me when he felt like it. It got to a point when he had fallen asleep when he was suppose to be picking me up to hangout and would say we would see each other over the weekend but then totally ignore all my texts to confirm plans. He was disrespecting me soooo bad that I had to take a step back and be like this is not what I want! when he got back to me he acted like as if he didn't flake on our plans and that's when I told him I didn't want to see him anymore. ironically enough he would text me every single day since telling him that and I repeatedly had to tell him I wasn't interested anymore because of how he treated me. He was a jerk, never even apologized for anything he did so I'm so glad he is out my life.
Jamelyn james He did not apologize because he was not sorry , he flaked and didn’t care. He has done this before. He wants to get back your good graces because you didn’t except him like those before you have after he flaked on them. Guys do what gets them results. Too late now ! Good for you girl !!! Clap 👏🏾 for yourself hun great move checkmate !
This is end of 2021. I had been seeing guy 8 months. Obstacles of distance, language. Plus he had car issues. I had moved 2 hours away to mountains.
I kept seeing red flags, he lied to me about his intentions. He even BS'ed me by bringing up engagement twice. He was using that as bait to keep me around. I had planned trip to Las Vegas, he just invited himself along. He became sporadic seeing me, not consistent. I had to drive down to train station to get him and drive us to Las Vegas. I spent hours of my time driving there with him.
Then I broke my leg and he never came up to see me? I suggested he take a train and bus to come see me, he was not willing to spend a few hours to do that. Instead he lied saying he would drive up. When in fact he never drove up, he did not even try, just blew me off. Kept me thinking all day he was going to drive up?
He never reached out. I had had enough. His BS, taking me for granted, undependsbility. I told him off big time and blocked 🚫 him. So sick of immature men.
Similar experience with a total narcissist. They only want you on THEIR time, because you are a shiftable asset in their lives, not a human being with valuable time and feelings. Never apologized for flaking out, and wanted to make plans AND cancel them both last minute.
Guy flaked on me 1 time. I told him he was fired.
JUST USED THIS METHOD AND IT WORKED INSTANTLY!! Thank you Matthew. Mr X just flaked on our date and offered a rain cheque. I Responded with: Babe I don’t do Rain Cheques. Reschedules or nothing 😘 Call me and let’s make a plan for whenever..
He texted loving my “attitude 😍”. Explained what’s going on in his life that made him flake ( all genuine and very serious) and scheduled a phone call for later in the evening. Oh and confirmed how much he’s looking forward to seeing me again. In CAPITAL LETTERS.
Previously I would have responded in a selfless, pathetic “oh it’s ok....I know you’re busy” 🤮
This literally just happened to me lol. Wish I saw this first
Cora LovesGlam it's like sales how to overcome objections
Ya, never put up w this kind of stuff for one minute. Same for dry spells, holiday letdowns (especially no gift / inappropriate-chintzy gift). You are opening door to a lifetime of letdowns.
Me too fuck :(
Mee too
Cora LovesGlam
What happened to you is replicated by a ratio of at least 90/1 Women flake far more than men do; this is a FACT.
if he has not called you in a week move on, why would you even respond to his text
just used this last night before I even saw the vid and I feel so empowered, he last minute wanted to hang out and I already have plans of going to church and to a Bible study, I was thinking to myself "hell Naw! nobody is going to mess up my schedule with Jesus just so some guy can have his way"
marian tria I know, I absolutely hate last minute requests for dates. So inconsidetate.
Yaaas!
times like this wish i went to church too
If he says hang out then he doesn’t take you seriously. Good for you. All women need to read “ Why Men Love Bitches” and “ Why Men Marry Bitches” both by Sherry Argov. She uses the B word as “ Babe In Total Control of Herself”
Amen
This exact thing just happened to me. I was on my way to the restaurant and he said he started throwing up hours ago and needed to reschedule. He had already confirmed earlier in the day and had hours to tell me that he was sick. Waiting until I've spent 2 hours getting ready and am already driving is inexcusable. So I told him exactly that. I said what he did lacked maturity, dignity, and we would not be rescheduling because that behavior is inexcusable. And we all know he wasn't really sick. It was a last minute excuse. Fuck that shit.
Kelley Heitzman I had a guy flake out on me because he said his physical therapy appointment made him hurt so he had no choice but to get some rest. The next day he didn’t message me until I contacted him that evening wondering if he was still going to come see me. I was on vacation and went to visit him to meet for the first time in person. He lives in another state. He told me that he was still feeling bad so he would not be able to come see me. I was so saddened by this that I didn’t know what I should say. About an hour later I messaged him that I was sad that I would be leaving the next day and that I would tell everyone that knew we were meeting that he was cool and that I wouldn’t tell them what really happened. I had only hoped that we would hit it off and become good friends but that it’s a shame I didn’t have even one picture to prove that we had actually met. He seemed like such a great guy and I was so excited to finally meet him. To that he instantly responded that he would be there in half an hour. When he showed up at my hotel I was not in a good mood because I had actually shed a few tears as I wrote him that message. When he saw my face he knew he blew it and was super nice to me. He took my hand gently and we walked to a nearby restaurant and had dinner and a couple of drinks. We conversed and we both relaxed a bit and by the end of the evening he had made me almost forget that he had done what he did. He walked me back to my hotel and we hugged for what seemed like forever and then he left. The next morning he messaged me that he was 15 minutes away from my hotel and that he would walk me to the bus. We took a bunch of pictures and videos for my memories and had coffee before I had to leave. He messaged me constantly afterwards saying he really enjoyed the time we spent together and that we had to do it again soon. He said he had an awesome time with me. I think it was his own hesitation that we might not be as compatible in person as we were online for two years just messaging one another. We would have spent today together but he had a funeral to attend and isn’t in the country. He told me exactly when he will return and that we will be getting together soon after he gets home. We talk a lot but the reception is bad where he is right now. I feel I need to give him a bit more time before I hang it up and throw in the towel because he shows me interest as often as he’s online. When he sees me he will remember the time we spent together and we’re just gonna have to see what comes next. I’m not ready to just give up. But I will be ready to move on if it ever happens again.
Kelley Heitzman fuck that shit. Well said!
Good job girl! I need to women up and do like u.
A guy canceled our Christmas date via text. Don’t worry I already had backup. I responded with this “Merry Christmas to you too! 🎄 no worries I figured this would happen so I made plans to go with someone who has shown more consistency with me. I wish you all the best”
I totally disagree with Matthew's advice unless you just want to play games. This guy flaked on the first date and now won't commit to a second date which means he isn't all that interested. I'd cut my losses now and delete and block his phone number.
Biannca Pierce Yep
Biannca Pierce coming from what experience ...I can tell you right now if a girl I thought was mine all of a sudden starts making me feel like I've lost control I'll try my hardest to get it back ...deleting his number and blocking him is such an obvious sign of insecurity ...I'd feel like I won at that point and laugh at you with all my friends lmfao
Biannca Pierce You can't blame a person for being flaky and not investing in someone right away. This isn't her husband. I dated a guy for 3 years who initially was sort of flaky and after I set my standard he woke up and actually made an effort up until I ended it because of long distance problems. Sadly we have to accept that if you make yourself too available and act like you will always be free for them, its likely that their interest will decrease. It's part of human nature.
That’s a bit of an over exaggeration don’t you think
Maddy Harvey my interest does not decrease because someone is available to me.
Hussey is a sweetie. This poor girl, ugh, you deserve better babe
I personally think it's too much work and overthinking (what to text, what not to text). A real connection flows naturally, but indeed, when a guy flakes on you, be cool about it. Let him know you're disappointed, but move on. Like Matt says, it's her choice if she still want to meet him. From my observations, men who keep on these epistolary relationships are either attached to someone else or getting over a breakup while not being able to invest in dating... and therefore most of the time looking to get laiiiiiddddddddd
PERIOD GIRL
I can feel how upset the girl is over the phone, and so do us other girls who encountered this too
Mathew, your advice, really great, you dont want us girls to be in a defeating end :) Thank you :) Youre like a big brother to us :)
exactly
albrenza you chicks are always the ones playing games. So many girls on here are acting like they're not going out with a different Tinder dude every night for a free meal and drinks.
+Goat Liberator .. all of us are not like that. I just want a good guy who is faithful & honest. That's hard to find...
Easy girls like these are ruining the whole dating scene for us, and making man act more and more douchy to women
Whatever...sluts are sluts and if they don't want to be called out on their bad behavior then then should stop behaving like sluts. D R is correct. They ruin the "game" for everyone..especially those who aren't into playing games.
I so do the im available certain days. but i have a back up...if i dont hear a plan by a certain time, if they call me last minute, I say oh man I made arrangements. I didnt hear back from you so I made other plans, and i sit on the couch watching movies all weekend lol
Lol this guy i had been texting with just flaked on me because he wanted to go to the gym 😂😂. Blocked him. Boy, bye.
What the guy in the video says is correct when he says your best shot of seeing him this weekend and then what he says from there. A man will be more likely to want to see you if the woman doesn’t act to available / too needy. It’s when a man thinks your pulling away/ may lose you is when they up their game. It’s better though to talk on the phone
±2348102689570⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️ Hello it's works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of breakup.,.....❤️❤️❤️
I honestly don't want to play these mind games, I hate relationship politics and negotiating underhandedly. I expect an adult, who, when I give him options, he lets me know ahead of time what he's picking. Not this "I might give you a call this weekend since you look so free..." That man needs to go, because I'm not his momma and I'm not gonna teach him manners!
And this doesn't make me an angry woman...I would not angrily be saying anything to him.
This, and the other types of videos, are really important for women to understand. Back in the mid 2000s, I bought an e-book called catch him and keep him. Was a sobering and embarrassing read, let me tell you. After I got over the embarrassment and started having more self respect (!) my dates got better. Self respect isn’t Bout being a snob or a b-atch. Play it cool at first when dating. Men WANT to be doing the chase. They are hard wired for that. Make yourself want able with good health, good attitude and values. The dirt bags will give up and your prince will appear. I met a wonderful man in 2009 and in 6 months he dropped the big hint that we would be married. And we did 2 years later. Still married now. God Bless you ladies and stay well!!!
Why cant he hold his own phone? Lol
FrancineYeshua hahaha
FrancineYeshua. If you we're listening at the beginning, he said she was a friend of the other guy... the other guy holding his own phone.
It's the friend to the guy holding the phone and not Matt's friend.
but he could still hold the phone.. 😂
FrancineYeshua 🤣
There's a guy I'm talking to. He never flakes, but he never initiates dates and he's an awful texter. The dates are always fun, but he's so neutral towards me when I'm not directly in front of him. I'm confronting him this weekend about what we're doing. Wish me luck!
Zikomo7 Good luck!! ❤️
Zikomo7 hope all went well !! Xxx
He's a flake in another disguise. Don't chase this one or hold out any hope. Is he someone YOU want? Does he measure up to YOUR standards? If not then move on. Any man who is neutral is just that....NEUTRAL.
Julia Hrivnak Yeah I confronted him. It was all strange. He didn't want to be my boyfriend but then begged me to still be friends. I said yeah but I really wish I had done a clean break smh
Ok, I honestly don't get all of this! This has become rocket science! Where is the fun and joy in all of this if I am going to have to dissect every freaking message and carefully plan what to reply?? What happened to good old genuine, honest, Hey, we like each other, lets get to know each other and see if it would take us somewhere?? How do people get married today if it has come down to this? Seriously!?
Unfortunately, the whole men - women relationship thing is rather perverted nowadays. If you're not a master at mind games, if seems as though you won't get the guy. Not to mention how we live in the times of the 'hook up' culture where you have thousands of options (via one of the crappy dating apps, Tinder, more specifically), so people have become complacent. You know, the 'why buy the cow, when you can have the milk for free' mentality. So annoying and disrespectful!
Anabela Gavrilova I know! Get, use, discard, repeat, like we are things and not living beings! Before people were looking for someone to spend their lives with and now they are looking for someone to screw over. Sad, really..
I think it is a response/defense mechanism to the pick-up culture, where everything is about mind-games and manipulation. In a sense, this is self-defence for women. I also think that because of the way modern society is built, and how people today were raised, we never learn social skills. In addition, the younger generations (I am one of them, before someone crucify me) learn less and less respect, communication and responsibility. As a result, many people mature a lot later than intended, and are 'stuck' in the teenage mindset well into their 30'es. All of this is actually biological, but because society is going directly against our biology, people get confused (society tells you to behave one way, whereas your biology tells you something else.). This is why we need to learn these social skills; because we were never taught, and were conditioned to think they are wrong.
Laiila FACTS
I love everything you just said
Such great advice Matthew! Although I think the first mistake she made was texting HIM after he flaked on her. That shows him that she is OK with being treated like that. If he really felt bad about it he would have texted her making new plans right away.
1:32 it was when SHE started texting him in the first place after HE had flaked her
mssummerrose1 oh yeah that’s bad never ever text a guy first when he flakes and when he does finally text call him out!!
there is his "hello there" above her "hey! what's going on." So she didn't ...
Yes this is why the man always must make the first move - at least for awhile in the first few months
this really great solid advice. let's face it...we are watching this video because someone flaked out on us. If dude brings up a future date I know how to handle him.
Response should have been, you have had your window of opportunity, I am making plans to go out and enjoy myself... see ya, wouldn't wanna be ya! lol
This is amazing. Being too available for someone is the worst thing a girl can do. You always give the best advices Matthew. Love from Mexico. Xx
You realize this goes both ways right
I love how honest he is guys must HATE these videos 😂
Guys shouldnt play games
This guy is so funny. But on a serious note he’s really sweet and REAL!!
I’ve just been dumped by a guy who often did this to me. He’d always say maybe, then let me know on the day he couldn’t. I’d always wait for him, even though I hated that. I guess that’s the reason, I’m too easy. Ill never let that happen again. Thanks Matt.
I really like this real time response type format of videos.Very casual but still informative at the same time. More videos like this please! =)
Iris Chang agreed :-)
This video shows you how to seeduce that woman back into your life justby tapping out a few simplee messages on your cell phonе => twitter.com/bb29bd344165d1d1b/status/790853501416935424 When He Flakees On You Send Him TTTHIS Text Maaatthew Hussey Get TТThe Guy
When he flakes on you, let him flake. It doesn't matter even if you 'did something wrong', that needs to be communicated. If relationships are built primarily on communicating first, would you wanna deal with someone who can't speak up long term?
There's no need to act tough if you don't feel okay about it. I think just having an honest but accepting attitude is the way to go, assert you don't like it but will move on.
Just because they can't commit to being clear, doesn't mean you have to act too cool for it.
People who act too cool are the opposite of cool. Be the bigger person and be polite when they are not polite, says more good things about you.
You can feel sad and mope a little about it, but there's no need to make a show of it to him. You know how you feel, so display a little of it to get the message across but then take good care of yourself and allow to feel it all privately.
Good advice. I had plans yesterday with this guy I've been seeing since May. We were gonna go to a winery for a Halloween festival. He canceled on me 20 minutes before I was about to leave. I had a weird feeling earlier in the day too but told myself it was nothing and tried to think positive. I was actually kind of shocked when he canceled. And the coward did it with a text and a lame excuse that he had a pounding headache and nausea and he took allergey medication for it lol. I'm mad at myself bc all I said was that's fine feel better. I wish I said why are you taking allergey medication for that and next time be a man and call the person and tell me the truth. I'm pretty sure he was lying.
Quite frankly, she shouldn't even be bothering with him. If he has a habit of treating women like they don't matter, that's never gonna change. You might be able to drive him a little nuts with games during dating... But there certainly is no good future with a guy who cannot value a woman. You're not gonna change this guy, he will keep putting you on the back burner the rest of your life. Forget him, you don't need to be stuck playing power games forever. Move on and find a guy who values you and treats you right WITHOUT having to play any "who is less interested?" games.
I've been in this situation in the past and it took me a while to realise what was going on. I agree; that we really like someone we sometimes lose ourselves and make ourselves too available; but it sets the wrong standard and sends the wrong message. Since I've started watching some of Matt's videos, I have realised that I have lost myself and make too many compromises in the past. I met someone recently that I like but after watching all these videos, I've lost interest in him because I don't want to invest in a guy who's not investing in me! Life is short and I enjoy it too much to devalue myself for someone else! :)
so basically i'm only desirable when i play hard to get? and doesn't this mean the guy's interested in the chase and not me?
Alice Wonder No but I think being so desperate at the beginning freaks out most people. I am a female and it's just unattractive to me. Instead of being desperate and super excited why not try be interested! Great things don't happen over night, every thing takes time to build up so why not let it grow? Give the opportunity for some valuable to happen?
Byanka Lowess very true
This guy I use to deal with I blocked him on everything Snapchat, Instagram, and I thought I blocked him on my phone. I realized I didn’t because he texted me Happy Mother’s Day and asked me to dinner. Then cancelled on me saying let’s do it tomorrow because today is to busy and wouldn’t be enjoyable. But you knew that before you asked me!
Asha as hell. His blocked though but I think he tried to call me unknown to see if he was blocked.
"I'm gonna make plans, but let's try another week. 🙂"
That is gold. Thank you, Matthew!
Look this is the BEST advice. There is a guy who pinged me in Meet-Up about a potential job. Conversation went into him being new to my city.
I said if he had questions about Chicago I'd be happy to give tips. He then asks about taking a walk and getting lunch. Who gets walks and lunch on a Saturday for a job if that's what you pinged me for in the FIRST place.
He flaked today said what about later tonight or tomorrow and I didn't bother to ask what happened when I never saw a single text today. WHATEVER! If he texts tomorrow I'll be 'BUSY'.
Side Note: He's a superintendent and high profile guy so he's used to people being available when HE wants them to be.
He has a volunteer event and needs to reschedule fine but what's stops him from saying 'hey sorry about today here's what we can do tomorrow'. Did his phone suddenly move to Mars?
Know what you stand for and what you don't it makes life so much easier.
it wouldn't even make me angry. i would be like; ok you clearly don't have time for me. thank you for showing me early on and good riddance. That's it and no looking back. Respect should be there from the first moment ever. if it's not there now with him, somebody else will give it to you like you want it.
fashionbeauty heart oh I'm not angry I'm more annoyed that I could have potentially hit a new job and he ruined it with walks and lunch instead of keeping it about the job he said he 'had'🙄
In the future, once they start asking about walks and lunches, respond by bringing the topic back to the job. Ask them for more info about the job, etc. Do not indulge anything out of the professional. They will get the hint.
J Q thanks I'm an HR Manager so I know the protocol at that level business isn't the typical meeting...but I appreciate the comment
I used this and the response was: "Sounds good, take care 😊"
Hahaha omg mission accomplished, you snooze you lose buddy!
There's something I don't get. Why does it seem like us girls have to be the ones playing games? Why don't guys go through all this trouble? Rather than playing games why can't we just be real and true with each other? And if the other person isn't interested then oh wells they just aren't and walk away.
SO I Hate Playing Games With A Woman. it Seems Online on A Online Dating Site, Women Play Games. All I Want
is to Meet A Nice Woman Who Likes Who I am and Respects me. it Seems you Have to Put in All This Work and A
Woman Rejects you. as My Friend Said if your Not Honest, With A Woman your the Liar. Not Them. Most Young
Men if you Look at Other Video's Geared Towards Getting A Woman. if A Young Man That is in There Early to Late
20's or Early 30's They Have Trouble Getting A Woman and Go MGTOW Because They Think When They Don't Get
A Woman it is Because They Think A Woman Only Cares About Looks, Money, and Status, I Over Heard A Woman
I Know Someone Knows and Wanted A Man Who is very Ambitious and very Driven. it Seems if A Woman is
Remotely Attractive, They Won't Meet With you. I Saw A Woman That is very Attractive, That is very High Caliber,
Who Was very Hot Looking. I Just Have A Thing for Dating A very Attractive, Woman Who is very High Caliber, Because That is My Type. I Saw Things About Her I Liked on the Inside That Made Her Attractive, so I Look in My
Email She Viewed me so I Go to Look and She is Gone. Why I Don't Know. But A Lot of Men Are Killing it for Other Men Because They Come on Way to Early and Say Stupid Stuff Under Comments or of A Photo of A Attractive,
Woman. Those Type of Men Are Chumps in My Opinion. I Just Wish Women Would Open There Minds More and Meet A Guy Who Likes Them. Some Women Are to Damn Picky.
I think it’s women sometimes too. I’ve flaked before but it’s because I was dating someone and met the other person while I was angry with my bf. And me and the guy I flaked on, the chemistry wasn’t all that. I didn’t feel eager to see him or be with him. He was just there and cute. My mind was somewhere else.
Here’s my story:
So a guy from school texts me and asks where I’ve been what I’ve been up to, basically just catching up.
I responded by telling him a few things about what I was doing as of the moment.
He responds well, if you ever want to hang out, give me a call.
I wait an hour and tell him, how about a week from now, maybe Tuesday?
He says okay, and doesn’t respond until nearly a month later, and apologizes,
I just never responded, and don’t intend on ever responding, I figured he just wanted to be nosy.
Moral of the story, if a guy really likes you, he won’t leave any doubts in your mind about it, you won’t have to wonder. Best to just move on and find someone who better respects your time!
I've been hot and cold with this guy and after he flaked on me, he tried scheduling just a hangout. I only gave him one day that I was available and after holding my own through the suggestions of hanging out late at night and such, the hang out turned into a dinner date. So I'd say, it actually works
I'm in my first relationship. I can't believe how many mistakes I've been making! Thank you, Mathew!
Mistake are there for you to learn from❤
Dear Matthew Hussey,
Your advice and advocation for women to ask for what they want is refreshing, however I cannot help but wonder why you do not use your power of observation and influence to help men improve their dating skills with women? Wouldn't it be great to help both genders get better instead of expecting women to do it all?
Agree! Men need to amp up their game too! And stop playing games
You know thats tooo much of a headache i normly just delete and block😂 if a man has to be trained to be a decent human being then hes not worth my time and shouldent be worth any womans time either.
I'm a 21 year old female. I never had confidence in myself to the point where I could walk up to a guy that I'm interested in and ask for his number. Watching your videos really helped, and I walked up to him and boldly asked for his number and if he wanted to hang out sometime he said yes. turns out he has a gf, but even still I am much more confident and guys see it and I have more opportunities now. You are AMAZING! Wish there were more guys out there like you who really know what he's talking about, attractive and smart. Thank you, and please don't stop making videos!!!
This is gold. I’ve probably watched this video 5 times. There is so much in it. I have to just let it sink in. The part about teaching someone how they can treat you. Also that what we do on a granular level expands out to all areas of life. It’s about self respect.
The advice is wrong here. The guy is not really interested and she should never have sent him a text. In this situation, when he disrespected her twice, she should have just deleted and blocked his number. He just saw her as a plate. I'll guarantee this went nowhere except maybe her having her heart broken.
he left me. my "best friend".
discarded me:
like last week's garbage.
replaced me with another.
abandoned and betrayed me.
for 6 weeks and for 6 days:
I was barely able to breathe,
after he left me.
I cried myself to sleep, nightly.
I woke up in breathless panic, every morning.
but now, today, for the first time...
the darkness is lifting, a little.
I honestly feel bad for him, truly I do,
he doesn't realize the profound love and friendship
that he lost in me.
he lost a lot, by losing me.
I would have given him the world.
I truly loved him.
but, seeing how mean he was to me, at the end...
shows me just how deep his issues and wounds run...
his willingness to hurt me, shows me just how much
our friendship really is over!
while we had each other, it was amazing.
I am ETERNALLY grateful.
it's impossibly hard to go from best friends
to complete strangers...
but.. I will get through this.
for, I must...
yes! communication in everything reflects what's in you. texting included.
If a man is interested, he will find a way to reach out to you. I am an older woman so tired of men texting, texting, texting. I really wished men would act like men and call to talk like they used to. Dating is so much work, games, lies, cheaters. I feel like I am walking through a land mine.
I had this happen to me. I mentioned meeting him over the weekend. He said he will let me know. Then Friday he texted that he left work early to bring his parents to see the doctor. Saturday and Sunday he didn't say anything about meeting up and he mentioned he was home. A week later he dissappeared. Before that he was being too nice and respectful for months. Watch out.
My ex just did this to me. I made other plans instead. Total turn off for me, I would date someone better then. Lol
Yeah I always give it up to him. That way if he flakes again, that's it!
@@mindyourbusiness6906 Yeah my time is precious. Sometimes flukes happen, so you give them a second go, but if they flake again and it's not for a very good reason then I'm good. Hit me up when you can stick with it. I wouldn't waste their time, so don't waste mine.
It is sad if someone do not give their time and play games with texts.
How about she should have said, " What do you have in mind?" or "Call me when you have and actual plan" and placed the ball completely in his court.
I’m not sure call me when you have a plan is a good idea that means he knows your still an option
I'm wondering when the games will stop.
Its annoying.
Matthew Hussey, you build people up and give us all confidence; that's why we love you. Thank you :)
So basically the lesson here is that you should start off a potential relationship by playing games with each other and not being yourself? Lol. Im glad i came across this, got a right laugh.
Lol i tried the games, not being available etc, it still didn't work..rather know the time wasters from the offset, i anit got time.
'That little dance he did wasn't enough!' Love it!!
Omg I just had a text exchange with a guy that is super similar with this, up to the guy’s flakiness. It’s so sad that women mindlessly just wanting fo schedule a time to meet becomes this complicated business and a guy knowing that he doesn’t have to treat you well.
As a lady, these videos are invaluable.
On a side note, I'm even realizing I've been an a$$hole with my friends time, by flaking and in general not texting back right away. :-/
I blank so hard in the moment and when I'm asked for specific date obligations, I can feel my heart beating in my head and I think, I'll deal with it later, then I get this urge to hide in my bedroom and watch youtube instead....
My friends don't deserve that. I need to respond before I even get a chance to get anxious; they're my friends, if they've been here through everything, they must care!
❤️
forget about him forever!
Act like you don’t care and they will care. Never be too available.
Luv1234 I could not agree more with this!
Talk about coincidence! I got a text from a guy WHILE WATCHING THIS telling me he's been held up and whether I'm around all day for his phonecall. I was about to say "Sure, call whenever you want", but thankfully watched this and said that I've got plans later on, but I'd love to talk, so he can let me know when he's free. Boom!
u know what Matthew.. there are really no rules to true love... I have been been watching ur videos.. but one day I met Him... he changed everything in me.. He is like my soulmate..
so to all the people just wait for the right moment for LOVE to happen! 😊
Bless you for this. I really needed to hear it
Some of us haven't got forever to wait!
Joti Mike 👌🏼👌🏼
It's too bad people hide behind texts and don't address things face to face - its an easy out
Don't get attached to someone who isn't serious. Will never change. Let go
I'm a man going through this shit. I make plans with a friend to go out and at the last minute she flakes on me. I've learned to have backup plans just in case. Not sure if she is just stringing me along, but I follow this guy's advice. I've learned to recognize unacceptable patterns in behavior when it comes to dating.