I saw this funny response to the "What obstacles/adversity have you overcome in your life?" prompt: "Growing up as an upper middle class white male, my biggest challenge is that I've never had a challenge large enough to write an essay about. This has resulted in an incredibly large number of essay prompts that I am unqualified to write about. Unlike many other potential students, I am unable to describe how any particular moment from my life thus far has led to the man I am today. Instead, a series of rather fortunate events has led me to become a pretty typical, white American male with no glaring redeeming qualities. What I can say, however, is that I will undoubtedly make it through all four years at [institution] because of my stable background and my parents' ability to either pay outright or cosign for student loans. I am unlikely to drop out due to events beyond my control and you will, with as much reasonable certainty as can be expected, receive the entirety of the expected four years of tuition. Therefore, while I am unlikely to be your poster child for diversity, you should say yes to a virtually guaranteed revenue stream."
Watching these videos makes me realize how incompetent I really am. Like imagine having the capabilities to be the best at something, or get a 1500 on the sat, or a 34 on the act. Just like wow I'm not making it anywhere cool.
I understand you completely. I know it might not help much but your self worth is so much more than these statistics. In comprehending the validity of our existence in the context of the vast universe, our high school experience hardly defines us. Besides, nobody wants to peak in HS, socially, AND acadedemically.
@@isabellapalacio4631 you got a 1400 bro I got a 1260 we aren't the same im not making it anywhere lol its chill I wasn't made to do important things anyway
At least if you’re passionate about a particular field in an institution that is fiercely competitive it would only continue to incentivize you to follow your passions and pursue them aggressively to be competitive with other people in the same subject matter and that’s definitely not bad when you think about it as opposed to 12 years of grade school being compared with other students based on grades on all types of classes no matter the difference in personalities
I think once college starts, it is more important to find your inner goals and accomplish them rather than constantly comparing yourself to your peers. It's just a waste of time.
I feel like most of my essay is a sympathy show. I moved 8 times in my middle school years. My moms disabled. And she couldn't help me with my homework because she was in special classes. So I finished high school with a 1.9 GPA. I'm 20 now and figured out what I want to do with life, but I don't want my essay to be a sob story. On motivated more then I've ever been in my life now that I know what I want to do, I'm just having a hard time putting it into a story.
Maybe select one of those hardships (ex moving 8 times) and write about how you grew and became stronger as a result of getting through that. Like, talk about something sad but add something positive or meaningful to it
I wouldn't say my situation is equivalent to yours, but I can sympathize. I'm a senior and my GPA is 2.9. Looking back on my high school career I realize that I wasn't motivated enough to do all my homework because my chronic disease caused me to frequently miss school. Im also afraid writing about this will turn into a sob story, but I also want to explain why my academic performance is subpar. I'm having a hard time showing why my grades are shitty without putting all the blame on my circumstances, so I'm focusing on how my situation gave me a unique perspective and how it gave me a high tolerance for discomfort, instead of using it as an excuse. So like the beginning of my essay is 6 sentences about the problems I've faced, and then the rest of the essay is what I did with it and where I am now. I hope this helps
My brother is disabled, mom is disabled/dying... never had help in school. Last year gpa of like 3.7. Then this year: realize I’m transgender. Grow frustrated with myself as my father struggles to accept me and my dysphoria is worse than ever. Gpa of 2.8. Now, trying to get back up. My life literally sounds like the script of a movie
I'm planning to write my essay about how when I was little, I had Kawasaki Disease. I was suffering a lot and they initially said that I just had pink eye. When the medicine didn't work and I continued to get worse, they thought that I was going to die. However, there was one doctor who had Kawasaki when he was a baby, so he recognized the symptoms. He put me on medication and in just a few weeks, I was out of the hospital. I plan to tell this as a narrative and then tie in with how I seek new information and understanding because of how it can help other people. I also want to major in Biology/Public Health so I plan to tie that in as well. Btw this isn't just fabrication, this is actually why I want to be a physician. This is way too long, so just anybody who managed to read it all, I'd appreciate if you could give me advice.
I have been watching this lady's videos 4 hours straight even though my college days are long behind me. She has the mesmerizing power to grab my attention with her fast talk and even sharper logic. That said, here is my qualm with American colleges, and perhaps I am not the only international who thinks so: what the heck does a "personal essay" have to do with qualification for admission to higher learning? Looking back, I admit I was myself a great beneficiary of this antic that is so uniquely American, having scored only 460 on SAT verbal. Isn't the "holistic" thing simply one more example of American naivety and Wilsonian idealism that used to toss America into trouble time and time again? It is so easy to fake characters through writing! A monster could write a most moving story of love and empathy, just as Wagner the anti-semitic could create hauntingly beautiful music! A little writing talent combined with slightly higer-level insincerity would be enough to fool the underpaid and overworked admission officers! Besides, isn't college exclusively a place for brain power and academic learning? Why character, and how can you tell it is real? Thank you for the great videos!
1. Family essay - who are you in context 2. The humble brag - down to earth, humble 3. The Personal/ Universally truth - personal story to come to deeper truths/ideas etc.
I have the idea of writing about traveling back to my homeland (Kenya) and finding about my ancestors and really seeing the struggles that my family went through as immigrants. I want to present the experience as a motivation for my goals and dreams because I saw where I came from and the legacy that was passed down to me. I am worried that this might be too complex.
Dude, you should totally do that. It'd be an awesome essay. I personally wish I had something that interesting about myself to write about. Most of my classmates are from other countries and every time they write about it they manage to make it amazing. I'm sure yours, with your own experiences and your own feelings, is going to turn out great.
This video did not exist when I was doing my college applications. My app essay was the “ Epiphany essay” that she was talking about at the end. I got accepted into all 9 colleges that I applied to.
I am currently a junior at high school and even though the college apps is a year from now, I'm trying to develop ideas about what to write my essay on. I thinking about writing my essay on a mild form of a medical condition that I have called Cerebral Palsy, which affects the nerves and muscles in the right side of my body as well as some cognitive difficulties in understanding and processing info, and that affected my life especially in elementary school. In elementary school, my world was confusing and blurry in the fact that I wasn't able to express my ideas and emotions or even understand the notion of those types of topics. I struggled a lot especially in English because I could not comprehend even the simplest of sentences and in writing where I tried to express an idea that make sense in my brain but not to everyone else's. It was only through deep analysis of my unique thought process and finding a way to express it was I able to truly expand my world and help draw people into it as well. I think this self realization help me become the independent, inquisitive thinker and writer I have become today as well as found ways to adapt to and overcome my physical disabilities and cognitive impairments. Do you guys think that it would be a good story to write about because I think it was a significant turning point in my life. I would like to get feedback and interesting perspectives rather than likes. Thank you for reading my comment😊
You are representing yourself in an admirable way, and it is powerful to translate a personal struggle into a learning opportunity. In this case, one which gave you a deeper understanding of yourself and others. In addition, overcoming obstacles requires perseverance and it is also an admirable quality you are demonstrating through this topic. I find it to be a great topic and certainly highlights your pathos. Good luck!! I wish for you to continue and remember that the sky’s the limit!
Yes! I think it is espectacular. You are showing who you are and how you have become the person you are today. You should give examples o share memories about how it was before and how you do it now do it can be a more immersive experience for the reader
I'm a college junior and chronically ill. For my undergraduate application, one of the questions was "write about something that goes unnoticed in your life", so I wrote a personal narrative of being a varsity cross country athlete as someone with severe asthma, eczema, and allergies, explaining how I'd pass out at the finish line of every race, broken out in hives, and spend the rest of the night passed out from the allergy meds and soaking in a bleach bath. I ended the story with me waking up the next morning to go on a run, because I still ran every single day of high school despite my illness. This illustrates tenacity and although I'm opening up about my weakness, I'm giving them enough information to reassure them that they are investing in someone that has the perseverance to stay in school. That being said, multiple people told me NOT to write about this, because I wrote it as a short story, not an essay. Joke's on them, now one of my majors is creative writing. I would caution you not to do this unless you're a good writer, but judging by your comment, you seem to be. I'm just telling you this because you need to demonstrate that you have grit. College is like a distance race, the classes are hard, but that's not the problem. The problem is the workload coupled with the amount of time that you're having the bear the load. It's a game of grit, stress, and time management more than anything. Just based on what you wrote here, you're clearly articulate and thoughtful and those are the other two most important things in college. I think an essay like this can successfully demonstrate that you have the traits of a great college student.
I’m a senior rn doing my college applications. For the family essay I actually wrote a father figure in my life, my neighbor as my actual dad isn’t really involved with my life and it’s because of him I found someone who accepted me for who I am and discovered someone who respected and enjoyed my interests for once
Ok, I've been watching some of your videos for a while now, and I didn't imagine in a single second that you studied film in USC... because studying film is my goal, and I've always had the feeling that film is what I want to study and I've never known exactly why, I just felt it, but didn't have a way to describe it, and when you mentioned about being a crybaby when you where younger that's when it clicked for me, because I was like that too, and I'm still a crybaby haha, I've always been perfectionist and sensible with everything since I was really small, and like you said, by storytelling you found a way of translating those emotions into someting understandable for others... I couldn't see this, and like you said: epiphany. I'll keep watching your videos, this is my last year in school in my country and as a Venezuelan middle class 16 year old girl, I've been feeling really nervous and confused on how to find the way to study film in the US, since things in my country have been so difficult, but I'll be prepping for my SAT and I'll see how it goes, and I'll stick to developing the idea of expressing myself on why I want to study film... thank you!!
I’m thinking of writing about my struggle with an eating disorder and how it made me realize there is more to life and how I became inspired. Can y’all give me some advice on writing on this subject???
@@hazelnutgelato because I read on the Princeton review that even though technically colleges dont require you to submit the scores, if you actually want to be considered or have a higher chance of getting in, submitting your score will show that you were prepared and are willing to do whatever it takes to take the act and/ or sat to submit for college.
how do people have time for so much extracurricular activities? like i watch all these videos and the people getting accepted either win like 7 awards, create clubs, an intern at NASA and stuff like where do yall find these opportunities and the time to balance work and activities? feeling like a failure ✨
I began my essay talking about wishing upon a star and then jumping into my present life. I basically wrote my own fairy tale. A princess born in poverty who meets her true love. Only, my true love isnt a person, rather it's my hobby. I am writing a book on the side, so I explained how I feel in love with writing.
Last year I really struggled with this one class, and no matter how hard I tried or how many all nighters I did or how much time I spent researching and taking notes, I still kept failing and performing at a below average level. I had a really hard time accepting my failure since I'm used to working hard and getting A's in everything and maintaining a 4.0 GPA. There were times where I literally thought about killing myself and in the end I did have to talk to my school counselor. But from my experience I learned that hard work DOESN'T always pay off and that's ok, sometimes you have to accept that some things just aren't meant to be and that you can't be perfect, and how even if you failed this one thing, there are so many other opportunities available in life. One failure can't define your future and your capabilities. And most importantly I learned that I shouldn't give up, that even if my best will never be enough, I should try my best anyway. I may have still gotten below average test scores in that class but I never once gave up. If I had, i would have done even worse (like I would have gotten F's on tests instead of C's) and wouldn't have been able to maintain my 4.0 GPA. Do you think this is a good essay topic? I can definitely put some good self-deprecating humor in there. It could maybe even be a humble brag sort of thing bc I could start off by talking now great I am in school and how I have an amazing work ethic and all my teachers love me and my peers admire my dedication, etc.
Sparkle08 it has promise but I would think about making it more about the lessons than that one class. Also no mention of attempted suicide even if it’s jokingly. You don’t want schools worrying about you . Light self deprecating humor would work but I would end it on a triumphant tone
If you write about a very strong bond you have with family members (brothers in my case) wouldn't it seem like the person is not independent enough? (especially for international students like me)
Applying to college as an Computer Science intent or a Computer Engineer intent. Planning on writing essay about how engineers or anyone that solve problem should solve the problem of connection and unity between people. I felt that my essay can come back to why I pick my major and possibly talk about my role within SGA and increase of school pride
Rly didn't like the "but you're only in high school" many high school students have accomplished big things, being in high school doesn't make accomplishments any less significant :)
I'm trying to be candid and help, not make people feel better. The problem is something I see with many students who over estimate the significance of their accomplishments. I realize some high school students do accomplish significant things but not everyone is Malala and shouldn't pretend to be. Obviously this is broad advice and everyone should apply to their particular situation as is reasonable.
Who else already got into college but is watching this to make sure they got in cause of their essay and not just pure luck or do I have Imposter's Syndrome
I’m in the process of writing my essay and I’m struggling because I want to write about the changes in my family as a result of a car accident that killed my parents and older sister and left me partially paralyzed, but is that a dumb topic?
no, it's no where near dumb. in my essay, i also expounded how an accident changed my life drastically. you could include its impacts and the changes it brought to you, your mental health, and other aspects of your life. you could also write the lessons you've learned, the process of your healing, how you've coped, etc. i'm so sorry for your loss :(( hope this helped
Need an opinion: Would an essay about how I volunteered at a center for children with a rare disease work for an essay? I know it's basic, but I actually had the disease as a child so I thought it might be different than a normal "mission trip" essay. What do you think?
Hi, Should I write my essay about growing up in a foreign country and how the cultural diversity shaped out the way I am today as a person? Thanks and hope to hear a response soon!
Hi Supertutor TV, I was wondering if I should write my essay about my experience having lived in a Middle Eastern country for a big part of my childhood, and how growing up in a diverse culture shaped me into the person that I am today. Is this a good topic? Thank you for the support!
Is writing a narrative about when I was left alone on my 3rd day at a lab internship to complete a procedure and how I was very nervous but I learned that even if you don't believe in yourself you are still capable to do it because I got amazing results from when I finished the procedure?
Margaret Wilson sounds very promising. I also see the idea of not waiting until you think you’re completely ready for something and have preparation and heart to take on challenges. Good luck!
A huge part of my life is dealing with mental illness, I've had OCD since first grade which I dealt with singlehandedly and ever since I've been doing so much better with it, which could show for my perseverance, since I continued to work hard in honors classes throughout all the anxiety I faced. I'm not sure if this would be bad for me to write an essay on or actually have a positive influence?
Could you do one of these for transfer application essays if you have any experience with it. Transfer application essays have a very different question (why are you transferring and what are your objectives for once you have transferred?) than incoming freshman from high school which requires different things to include. I keep trying to find information about it but everything I read is about a student that hated their old school and is transferring to another rather than a community college student like myself that wants more opportunities and has to move on. Or, they are focused on high schoolers.
I wrote an essay that I plan on submitting to Rice about how I solve rubik's cubes competitively and how the process of learning has helped me recognize my love for problem solving and innovation. I don't feel like it particularly falls under these 3, but it also doesn't really fall under the "5 bad essays" video. Kind of stuck here, I think if anything I could turn it into an *Epiphany Essay* but I'm not sure.
Now thinking about it, I utilized pathos in my college admission essay, and every time I show it to someone I did not know or someone that didn’t know much about me, cried every time. Is that good? 😂 and to be accepted in my degree of interest, I utilized logos while telling a story.
Half these what to write and what not to write on common app vids combined with the ones of the people who actually got in contradict each other multiple times and at multiple places
do you think my idea to write about suffering from overthinking, middle school bullying, shyness, lack of focus, not taking decisions, being submissive, and coming out from it because I wanted to make my father proud and live for myself is a good idea??
Would it be better to write an essay about losing club elections & how those experiences shaped me, or an extended metaphor about how all of my different interests relate to Ethiopian food? I feel like the 2nd one is more unique to me, but it's been a lot harder to write than the 1st one.
I'm barely going to be a sophomore but I've been binging on your videos haha. I wanted to ask if you thought my college essay topic would be good. So my brother dealt with mental illness my beginning year of 7th grade. That took a really big toll on me and it was kind of a reason that led me to self harm and having anxiety. This sounds really broad but I want to know if that's a good topic that I can expand more on. Thank you
Hey I’m actually on the same boat as you! I’m a sophomore and I am also venturing the topic of mental illness. Even though I am in the same level you are and I don’t really have experience with college, I think you definitely should because it give you room for personality. I’m also thinking of writing mine on how I had thanatophobia and how other things that relate to that.
Diana Hernandez If your a sophomore try to take AP Lang next year. If the teacher is amazing, the amount of knowledge on writing and forming a relationship where you can ask for help is the gold that goes a long way
+Ultra Styles I am definitely going to take it next year. the teacher is my advisory teacher (I'm gonna have her for all 4 years of high school) and she's so sweet (obviously if you pay attention and respect her). But I definitely wanna improve my writing skills 🤗
@@diana-zz1hj That can be easily solved. Good nutrition and training (which the UA-cam channel athlean x stands by) will be what strengthens your entire mind and body. You can literally do anything academic wise and it will be a breeze, i.e. you reached your genetic potential. Cheers!
Do you think the final essay idea could blend nicely with the Common App prompt about failure? I think they could work well together, but I'm not sure.
I have this idea about how my camp (which I've been attending for eight years and I just finished the two-year CIT program) has this odd tradition of freezing in place during meals to figure out who clears the table. Start small on a moment in the wilderness I want to freeze, to my time on the subway, to stopping my sister from going up for a moment, to getting pizza with my friends, to opening my gallery. And finally the question, should I freeze time? What about the bad moments? The moments to come? I've been throwing around many ideas, but I'm thinking about responding to question 6 ("a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time."). I think it applies to a couple of different points though. Thoughts?
I wrote about my upbringing. Half of my family comes from a different country. My dad was an abusive alcoholic and my mother was a drug addict that would work the corner for money to get high. I contrast that with my adopted family, and how my birth family actually helped me not to fall into certain alleys throughout life. Certain things weren't even enticing because I knew the path that would lead me on and I wanted to be the furthest thing from my biological family. Is this a good idea? What do yall think? I'm also a former Marine, so I could write about that instead?
Thomas Harrison hi! Sounds like you have a number of ways you can go with the essay. I would reduce the darker moments of your birth parents’ addiction unless it directly relates to you. The marines focus may be of interest...you can use it like a narrative frame, something ceremonial like putting on a uniform at the beg and end of the essay and in the middle you can talk about all the paths you didn’t follow and there I would put the background. Good luck!
So: 1 - have poor parents, preferably black or immigrants 2- Don't be a snob - be relatable, like a nice cashier at McDonalds 3- Have a strange religion 4- Be meek and even in a position of leadership be overridable 4- Deride yourself as much as possible - like a clown; 5- Be 'authentic'! Be You! Amazing!!! It's not even funny
Having a religion that isn’t western Christianity is not strange lol. The most common religion is used as an excuse for child marriage and a cover up of sexual abuse from pastors/priests- and that’s pretty weird to me.
0:11 I love how she looks down at her computer to remind herself what she's going to talk about this video. Hey supertutortv's been cranking out a lotta content recently I'd be checking twice too! 😂
Phú Trần Thanh perhaps. Make sure you narrow the 2 or so mini stories that show your growth so maybe one where you show the fiery character and drawbacks and then a similar situation and how you dealt with it differently. Good luck!
What do you guys think about my essay idea? Over the summer, I went to a summer camp focused on fighting racism, bigotry, and bias. It stuck 50 teenagers of all races, genders, sexualities, religions,etc on a mountain without phones to educate each other on what diversity is. This was such an impactful experience for me because I come from a conservative background and previously had exclusive views regarding social issues, but after the week I was educated my my peers to understand them. Afterwards, I became an ambassador for the social justice organization that ran the camp, advocating for those that I once disagreed with.
I'm a fifteen-year old student from Peru. And I was thinking about writing an essay about why my life goal is to study in the USA. It's obviously a story, an experience that I want to tell. And I don't know if that would be an essay that doesn't suck. I need your opinion please. And sorry if you don't understand some of the things I've wrote, I'm still learning English.
Want to read instead of watch 👀supertutortv.com/college/3-college-essays-that-work/
I need your help in my college essay
"A little bit of self-deprecating humor can go a long way"
My time has come
😂😂😂😂
TheInklet 😂😂😭😭
😂😂 you kill me
😂😂😂😂
LMAOOOO
i keep crying every time i try to write my essay because i have no idea what direction i want to go
Taylor T i felt this in every fiber of my being
Taylor T SAME
Write about ur crying problem
Qwerty Uiop LMFAOOOO🤣😂😂
u got this
I saw this funny response to the "What obstacles/adversity have you overcome in your life?" prompt:
"Growing up as an upper middle class white male, my biggest challenge is that I've never had a challenge large enough to write an essay about. This has resulted in an incredibly large number of essay prompts that I am unqualified to write about. Unlike many other potential students, I am unable to describe how any particular moment from my life thus far has led to the man I am today. Instead, a series of rather fortunate events has led me to become a pretty typical, white American male with no glaring redeeming qualities. What I can say, however, is that I will undoubtedly make it through all four years at [institution] because of my stable background and my parents' ability to either pay outright or cosign for student loans. I am unlikely to drop out due to events beyond my control and you will, with as much reasonable certainty as can be expected, receive the entirety of the expected four years of tuition. Therefore, while I am unlikely to be your poster child for diversity, you should say yes to a virtually guaranteed revenue stream."
love it! it's hilarious
Justin C this's really hilarious,but joking aside,i feel like the first couple of lines actually set up a potentially amazing essay
That's amazing
cool one! gave me a great idea on how I would express myself in an essay !
I’d admit you immediately
1:59 The Family Essay
4:44 The Humble Brag Essay
9:25 The Personal/Universal Essay
U r a blessing
I scrolled down comments section for this😄😄😄😄
Muchas gracias ☺️
So is the essay a story or an essay telling of a story ??🥲😭
@@corazondemelon7308 both
Watching these videos makes me realize how incompetent I really am. Like imagine having the capabilities to be the best at something, or get a 1500 on the sat, or a 34 on the act. Just like wow I'm not making it anywhere cool.
I understand you completely. I know it might not help much but your self worth is so much more than these statistics. In comprehending the validity of our existence in the context of the vast universe, our high school experience hardly defines us. Besides, nobody wants to peak in HS, socially, AND acadedemically.
It’s. Worth to try :)
Hey! I’m not impressive(sat score:1400) and didn’t cure cancer but got into brown! You never know bestie :)
@@isabellapalacio4631 you got a 1400 bro I got a 1260 we aren't the same im not making it anywhere lol its chill I wasn't made to do important things anyway
@@isabellapalacio4631 a 1400 isnt impressive.... well i think we have different definitions of impressive-
Why do I fight other classmates in the struggle for academic merit only to move to a larger, more fiercely competitive institution?
Chris Raeburn to get rich.
At least if you’re passionate about a particular field in an institution that is fiercely competitive it would only continue to incentivize you to follow your passions and pursue them aggressively to be competitive with other people in the same subject matter and that’s definitely not bad when you think about it as opposed to 12 years of grade school being compared with other students based on grades on all types of classes no matter the difference in personalities
I think once college starts, it is more important to find your inner goals and accomplish them rather than constantly comparing yourself to your peers. It's just a waste of time.
Capitalism
sanic da herdghog Oh no here comes the communist
"How do I stop crying" ... mood
Basically just use Ethos, Pathos, and Logos
Did you do Debate Team or Classical Conversations?
@@the_logician3179 highschool English class
I feel like most of my essay is a sympathy show. I moved 8 times in my middle school years. My moms disabled. And she couldn't help me with my homework because she was in special classes. So I finished high school with a 1.9 GPA. I'm 20 now and figured out what I want to do with life, but I don't want my essay to be a sob story. On motivated more then I've ever been in my life now that I know what I want to do, I'm just having a hard time putting it into a story.
Maybe select one of those hardships (ex moving 8 times) and write about how you grew and became stronger as a result of getting through that. Like, talk about something sad but add something positive or meaningful to it
I wouldn't say my situation is equivalent to yours, but I can sympathize. I'm a senior and my GPA is 2.9. Looking back on my high school career I realize that I wasn't motivated enough to do all my homework because my chronic disease caused me to frequently miss school. Im also afraid writing about this will turn into a sob story, but I also want to explain why my academic performance is subpar. I'm having a hard time showing why my grades are shitty without putting all the blame on my circumstances, so I'm focusing on how my situation gave me a unique perspective and how it gave me a high tolerance for discomfort, instead of using it as an excuse. So like the beginning of my essay is 6 sentences about the problems I've faced, and then the rest of the essay is what I did with it and where I am now. I hope this helps
My brother is disabled, mom is disabled/dying... never had help in school. Last year gpa of like 3.7. Then this year: realize I’m transgender. Grow frustrated with myself as my father struggles to accept me and my dysphoria is worse than ever. Gpa of 2.8. Now, trying to get back up. My life literally sounds like the script of a movie
MAKO how do you figure out your trans?
Lucas Jacques true that! you shouldn’t expect your family to always be there to help you with school. They can’t learn it for you!
I'm planning to write my essay about how when I was little, I had Kawasaki Disease. I was suffering a lot and they initially said that I just had pink eye. When the medicine didn't work and I continued to get worse, they thought that I was going to die. However, there was one doctor who had Kawasaki when he was a baby, so he recognized the symptoms. He put me on medication and in just a few weeks, I was out of the hospital. I plan to tell this as a narrative and then tie in with how I seek new information and understanding because of how it can help other people. I also want to major in Biology/Public Health so I plan to tie that in as well. Btw this isn't just fabrication, this is actually why I want to be a physician. This is way too long, so just anybody who managed to read it all, I'd appreciate if you could give me advice.
Stephen Morejon
That should be a really compelling essay. I hope it worked for you!
this is legit a greys anatomy plot lmao
Stephen Morejon how’d it go
This is a great essay topic. How did it go?
Wow you should really write about it and show how you became better and overcame it
I'm going to write about the struggles I have faced as a teen who is out of Tostitos.
"saved all the children in china" lmaoooo
As an adoptee from China, don't know how I felt about that : |
Waiting for this since "5 college essays that suck" thankssss!!
I have been watching this lady's videos 4 hours straight even though my college days are long behind me. She has the mesmerizing power to grab my attention with her fast talk and even sharper logic. That said, here is my qualm with American colleges, and perhaps I am not the only international who thinks so: what the heck does a "personal essay" have to do with qualification for admission to higher learning? Looking back, I admit I was myself a great beneficiary of this antic that is so uniquely American, having scored only 460 on SAT verbal. Isn't the "holistic" thing simply one more example of American naivety and Wilsonian idealism that used to toss America into trouble time and time again? It is so easy to fake characters through writing! A monster could write a most moving story of love and empathy, just as Wagner the anti-semitic could create hauntingly beautiful music! A little writing talent combined with slightly higer-level insincerity would be enough to fool the underpaid and overworked admission officers! Besides, isn't college exclusively a place for brain power and academic learning? Why character, and how can you tell it is real? Thank you for the great videos!
1. Family essay - who are you in context
2. The humble brag - down to earth, humble
3. The Personal/ Universally truth - personal story to come to deeper truths/ideas etc.
I have the idea of writing about traveling back to my homeland (Kenya) and finding about my ancestors and really seeing the struggles that my family went through as immigrants. I want to present the experience as a motivation for my goals and dreams because I saw where I came from and the legacy that was passed down to me. I am worried that this might be too complex.
Dude, you should totally do that. It'd be an awesome essay. I personally wish I had something that interesting about myself to write about. Most of my classmates are from other countries and every time they write about it they manage to make it amazing. I'm sure yours, with your own experiences and your own feelings, is going to turn out great.
Dorcas Gitimu hey,
D W how did your applications go?
D W Woah I wrote the same essay! Except my family is actually from India, not Kenya.
@@arthurmorgan3111 which uni's did you get into?
This video did not exist when I was doing my college applications. My app essay was the “ Epiphany essay” that she was talking about at the end. I got accepted into all 9 colleges that I applied to.
hey if you dont mind sharing...which colleges did you apply to?
TAErrific bts
Sure. But first, what do you want to study, where are you geographically, and how far are you willing to travel for school?
Emanuel Caceres
........what...?
Jenna Hilton I live in Germany. I don’t care which place in the US I move to lol
So you gonna tell us the colleges you got into?
Do colleges expect us to become the next MLK Jr. and write the most inspirational essay the world has ever seen‽‽‽ That seems pretty dumb.
Long Live Planet Awesome I’m dead
thank you for the interrobang
No (at least not all of them). But they do want you to be human, honest, and likable.
Letter from the Birmingham college students
Making an emotional connection doesn't mean that you have to write a speech like MLK.
I am currently a junior at high school and even though the college apps is a year from now, I'm trying to develop ideas about what to write my essay on. I thinking about writing my essay on a mild form of a medical condition that I have called Cerebral Palsy, which affects the nerves and muscles in the right side of my body as well as some cognitive difficulties in understanding and processing info, and that affected my life especially in elementary school. In elementary school, my world was confusing and blurry in the fact that I wasn't able to express my ideas and emotions or even understand the notion of those types of topics. I struggled a lot especially in English because I could not comprehend even the simplest of sentences and in writing where I tried to express an idea that make sense in my brain but not to everyone else's. It was only through deep analysis of my unique thought process and finding a way to express it was I able to truly expand my world and help draw people into it as well. I think this self realization help me become the independent, inquisitive thinker and writer I have become today as well as found ways to adapt to and overcome my physical disabilities and cognitive impairments. Do you guys think that it would be a good story to write about because I think it was a significant turning point in my life. I would like to get feedback and interesting perspectives rather than likes. Thank you for reading my comment😊
Can I please get some comment or feedback? I would really appreciate it
You are representing yourself in an admirable way, and it is powerful to translate a personal struggle into a learning opportunity. In this case, one which gave you a deeper understanding of yourself and others. In addition, overcoming obstacles requires perseverance and it is also an admirable quality you are demonstrating through this topic. I find it to be a great topic and certainly highlights your pathos.
Good luck!! I wish for you to continue and remember that the sky’s the limit!
Yes! I think it is espectacular. You are showing who you are and how you have become the person you are today. You should give examples o share memories about how it was before and how you do it now do it can be a more immersive experience for the reader
Been a year. RISE SON. RISE.
I'm a college junior and chronically ill. For my undergraduate application, one of the questions was "write about something that goes unnoticed in your life", so I wrote a personal narrative of being a varsity cross country athlete as someone with severe asthma, eczema, and allergies, explaining how I'd pass out at the finish line of every race, broken out in hives, and spend the rest of the night passed out from the allergy meds and soaking in a bleach bath. I ended the story with me waking up the next morning to go on a run, because I still ran every single day of high school despite my illness. This illustrates tenacity and although I'm opening up about my weakness, I'm giving them enough information to reassure them that they are investing in someone that has the perseverance to stay in school. That being said, multiple people told me NOT to write about this, because I wrote it as a short story, not an essay. Joke's on them, now one of my majors is creative writing. I would caution you not to do this unless you're a good writer, but judging by your comment, you seem to be. I'm just telling you this because you need to demonstrate that you have grit. College is like a distance race, the classes are hard, but that's not the problem. The problem is the workload coupled with the amount of time that you're having the bear the load. It's a game of grit, stress, and time management more than anything. Just based on what you wrote here, you're clearly articulate and thoughtful and those are the other two most important things in college. I think an essay like this can successfully demonstrate that you have the traits of a great college student.
I'm still in middle school but like I'm so interested
Good for you, wish I was that prepared. Keep it up!
I’m a senior rn doing my college applications. For the family essay I actually wrote a father figure in my life, my neighbor as my actual dad isn’t really involved with my life and it’s because of him I found someone who accepted me for who I am and discovered someone who respected and enjoyed my interests for once
That’s beautiful man, I hope you get into the college of your dreams
Boring maybe even contrived
@@tinat5484depends how well it's written. Sometimes the cheesy stuff works.
Ok, I've been watching some of your videos for a while now, and I didn't imagine in a single second that you studied film in USC... because studying film is my goal, and I've always had the feeling that film is what I want to study and I've never known exactly why, I just felt it, but didn't have a way to describe it, and when you mentioned about being a crybaby when you where younger that's when it clicked for me, because I was like that too, and I'm still a crybaby haha, I've always been perfectionist and sensible with everything since I was really small, and like you said, by storytelling you found a way of translating those emotions into someting understandable for others... I couldn't see this, and like you said: epiphany.
I'll keep watching your videos, this is my last year in school in my country and as a Venezuelan middle class 16 year old girl, I've been feeling really nervous and confused on how to find the way to study film in the US, since things in my country have been so difficult, but I'll be prepping for my SAT and I'll see how it goes, and I'll stick to developing the idea of expressing myself on why I want to study film... thank you!!
We actually have a few USC film people here at SupertutorTV. Let us know when you get in, Marta, maybe you can come work for us!
Marta Castillo Good luck!
I think you should give a prolonged example to each essay
I’m thinking of writing about my struggle with an eating disorder and how it made me realize there is more to life and how I became inspired. Can y’all give me some advice on writing on this subject???
I’m liking this so I can look at this in 2 years
Me watching this and realizing the SAT for the class of 2021 is not required 😏
Me having studied for seven months in all:🤦♀️
Wait do 2021 graduates need to take the SAT for admissions
The Holy Synopsis Most schools have gone test-optional, basically meaning that you can choose to send your scores in, whether you’ve taken it or not.
@Givanna Solis how would you know they’re lying?
@@hazelnutgelato because I read on the Princeton review that even though technically colleges dont require you to submit the scores, if you actually want to be considered or have a higher chance of getting in, submitting your score will show that you were prepared and are willing to do whatever it takes to take the act and/ or sat to submit for college.
how do people have time for so much extracurricular activities? like i watch all these videos and the people getting accepted either win like 7 awards, create clubs, an intern at NASA and stuff like where do yall find these opportunities and the time to balance work and activities? feeling like a failure ✨
love how you name each essay lmfao
would an essay about dealing with my parents' divorce be considered less effective or unique due to the high frequency of divorce?
Unless you tie it in with your major, or some other story, I would say it's not very unique. 50% of marriages end in divorce.
I think it can be but YOU are the unique part you need to add so make sure you focus on how it affects you more so than anything else
Try writing about how that divorce affected you and your social skills. If you have a learning disability, add that.
Try talking about the negative effect the divorce had on YOU and how regardless of that you were able to push through!
I began my essay talking about wishing upon a star and then jumping into my present life. I basically wrote my own fairy tale. A princess born in poverty who meets her true love. Only, my true love isnt a person, rather it's my hobby. I am writing a book on the side, so I explained how I feel in love with writing.
Last year I really struggled with this one class, and no matter how hard I tried or how many all nighters I did or how much time I spent researching and taking notes, I still kept failing and performing at a below average level. I had a really hard time accepting my failure since I'm used to working hard and getting A's in everything and maintaining a 4.0 GPA. There were times where I literally thought about killing myself and in the end I did have to talk to my school counselor. But from my experience I learned that hard work DOESN'T always pay off and that's ok, sometimes you have to accept that some things just aren't meant to be and that you can't be perfect, and how even if you failed this one thing, there are so many other opportunities available in life. One failure can't define your future and your capabilities. And most importantly I learned that I shouldn't give up, that even if my best will never be enough, I should try my best anyway. I may have still gotten below average test scores in that class but I never once gave up. If I had, i would have done even worse (like I would have gotten F's on tests instead of C's) and wouldn't have been able to maintain my 4.0 GPA. Do you think this is a good essay topic? I can definitely put some good self-deprecating humor in there. It could maybe even be a humble brag sort of thing bc I could start off by talking now great I am in school and how I have an amazing work ethic and all my teachers love me and my peers admire my dedication, etc.
Sparkle08 it has promise but I would think about making it more about the lessons than that one class. Also no mention of attempted suicide even if it’s jokingly. You don’t want schools worrying about you . Light self deprecating humor would work but I would end it on a triumphant tone
glad this was released 2 days before my early action!
DAT ASHE sane stills, which university? Mine is Oct 15th
uncarriable did you get in 😳
My essay will be about how average I am, and how to make it what drive you
If you write about a very strong bond you have with family members (brothers in my case) wouldn't it seem like the person is not independent enough? (especially for international students like me)
Yes!!! Finally some achievements! My essay fits the humble brag idea 🥺😭😭
Applying to college as an Computer Science intent or a Computer Engineer intent. Planning on writing essay about how engineers or anyone that solve problem should solve the problem of connection and unity between people. I felt that my essay can come back to why I pick my major and possibly talk about my role within SGA and increase of school pride
That´s genius, go for it
She hit us w a therapy session at 11:00 😌✨
I can see "Jane Eyre" on top of the shelf, 3rd from top
10:06 asking the important questions.
basically... make it a wattpad story
Rly didn't like the "but you're only in high school" many high school students have accomplished big things, being in high school doesn't make accomplishments any less significant :)
I'm trying to be candid and help, not make people feel better. The problem is something I see with many students who over estimate the significance of their accomplishments. I realize some high school students do accomplish significant things but not everyone is Malala and shouldn't pretend to be. Obviously this is broad advice and everyone should apply to their particular situation as is reasonable.
Brooke Hanson thank you :)
I believe the point was to say "I can do so much more," not "I did this much"
@@333pinkelephant333 YES!!! Exactly!! If you've already accomplished SO much, why do you need college at all?
Who else already got into college but is watching this to make sure they got in cause of their essay and not just pure luck or do I have Imposter's Syndrome
Which college did you get in?
@@damarisespinoza1834 ucla
@@isabellaluo2712 congratsss omg
I’m in the process of writing my essay and I’m struggling because I want to write about the changes in my family as a result of a car accident that killed my parents and older sister and left me partially paralyzed, but is that a dumb topic?
no, it's no where near dumb. in my essay, i also expounded how an accident changed my life drastically. you could include its impacts and the changes it brought to you, your mental health, and other aspects of your life. you could also write the lessons you've learned, the process of your healing, how you've coped, etc.
i'm so sorry for your loss :((
hope this helped
Love this channel!
Adriana Rosales I know right
Same!
brooke is so wise lol
Need an opinion: Would an essay about how I volunteered at a center for children with a rare disease work for an essay? I know it's basic, but I actually had the disease as a child so I thought it might be different than a normal "mission trip" essay. What do you think?
SuperTutorTV is awesome.
Hi,
Should I write my essay about growing up in a foreign country and how the cultural diversity shaped out the way I am today as a person?
Thanks and hope to hear a response soon!
Jose Arauz I think that could be a little cliche, but if you put your own unique twists on it it could be great 👍🏽
Raneem Khan Alright but thanks!
Did u get in lmao
@@energyzap9484 I'm still waiting to hear back XD
Anyone else trying to make their essay rn....?
Hi Supertutor TV,
I was wondering if I should write my essay about my experience having lived in a Middle Eastern country for a big part of my childhood, and how growing up in a diverse culture shaped me into the person that I am today. Is this a good topic?
Thank you for the support!
If you make it very unique, it’d be a good topic for a selective university. If not, then the topic might come across as cliché
@spanda7252 Thanks!
@@antritamanduva4876 You're right, and I guess I should really try and avoid the cliché part, but thanks anyway!
Is writing a narrative about when I was left alone on my 3rd day at a lab internship to complete a procedure and how I was very nervous but I learned that even if you don't believe in yourself you are still capable to do it because I got amazing results from when I finished the procedure?
Margaret Wilson sounds very promising. I also see the idea of not waiting until you think you’re completely ready for something and have preparation and heart to take on challenges. Good luck!
A huge part of my life is dealing with mental illness, I've had OCD since first grade which I dealt with singlehandedly and ever since I've been doing so much better with it, which could show for my perseverance, since I continued to work hard in honors classes throughout all the anxiety I faced. I'm not sure if this would be bad for me to write an essay on or actually have a positive influence?
i’m probably going to write about my family considering a lot of events have happened in my family that have formed me into the person i am
Could you do one of these for transfer application essays if you have any experience with it. Transfer application essays have a very different question (why are you transferring and what are your objectives for once you have transferred?) than incoming freshman from high school which requires different things to include. I keep trying to find information about it but everything I read is about a student that hated their old school and is transferring to another rather than a community college student like myself that wants more opportunities and has to move on. Or, they are focused on high schoolers.
In my essay they ask me to give my story .Can I talk about someone died and how that happened and the way I felt?
No, you cannot.
Yes it is forbidden
Me a 9th grader really wanting to get into Yale. This is like one of the schools that I’d be heartbroken if I don’t get into it.
cv
Get ready for the crushing pain of reality
@@Kevindude8868 I already know the pain lol.
Same I want to go to NYU
Do NOT get emotionally invested in a top school that early, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.
I wrote an essay that I plan on submitting to Rice about how I solve rubik's cubes competitively and how the process of learning has helped me recognize my love for problem solving and innovation. I don't feel like it particularly falls under these 3, but it also doesn't really fall under the "5 bad essays" video. Kind of stuck here, I think if anything I could turn it into an *Epiphany Essay* but I'm not sure.
Now thinking about it, I utilized pathos in my college admission essay, and every time I show it to someone I did not know or someone that didn’t know much about me, cried every time. Is that good? 😂 and to be accepted in my degree of interest, I utilized logos while telling a story.
I love your channel! You can film a video to share some tips on filling out the activity part of the common app. Just an idea. Thank you.
when you already had the epiphany letter written ;)
Half these what to write and what not to write on common app vids combined with the ones of the people who actually got in contradict each other multiple times and at multiple places
do you think my idea to write about suffering from overthinking, middle school bullying, shyness, lack of focus, not taking decisions, being submissive, and coming out from it because I wanted to make my father proud and live for myself is a good idea??
This was more useful than anything my hs counselor has told me. Thank you!
Would it be better to write an essay about losing club elections & how those experiences shaped me, or an extended metaphor about how all of my different interests relate to Ethiopian food? I feel like the 2nd one is more unique to me, but it's been a lot harder to write than the 1st one.
second one
Amazing essays are hard to write. Yes.
Mum i just have to tell you this💓❤ you are a blessing
do a video about what to write your college essay about if you think like you don't have a spacial story
I’m done and got accepted. I’m just watching for fun. 😂
Thanks Brooks and love your look (as always)
do commonapp essays always need to be a narrative?
I'm barely going to be a sophomore but I've been binging on your videos haha. I wanted to ask if you thought my college essay topic would be good. So my brother dealt with mental illness my beginning year of 7th grade. That took a really big toll on me and it was kind of a reason that led me to self harm and having anxiety. This sounds really broad but I want to know if that's a good topic that I can expand more on. Thank you
Hey I’m actually on the same boat as you! I’m a sophomore and I am also venturing the topic of mental illness. Even though I am in the same level you are and I don’t really have experience with college, I think you definitely should because it give you room for personality. I’m also thinking of writing mine on how I had thanatophobia and how other things that relate to that.
Diana Hernandez If your a sophomore try to take AP Lang next year. If the teacher is amazing, the amount of knowledge on writing and forming a relationship where you can ask for help is the gold that goes a long way
+Ultra Styles I am definitely going to take it next year. the teacher is my advisory teacher (I'm gonna have her for all 4 years of high school) and she's so sweet (obviously if you pay attention and respect her). But I definitely wanna improve my writing skills 🤗
@@diana-zz1hj That can be easily solved. Good nutrition and training (which the UA-cam channel athlean x stands by) will be what strengthens your entire mind and body. You can literally do anything academic wise and it will be a breeze, i.e. you reached your genetic potential. Cheers!
Never forget to do face pulls ?? It is not an “easy fix” you forget that mental health is different form physical health.
I have a question: Does making an emotional appeal always guarantee a connection with your reader?
most likely, other essays are good also but emotional appeal ones hit the most to the heart
RyzenHD but sometimes the reader can’t understand how you feel. It may come off in the wrong way
It helps much more and it’s almost the only opportunity for you to do that with your words on the application
Do you think the final essay idea could blend nicely with the Common App prompt about failure? I think they could work well together, but I'm not sure.
I have this idea about how my camp (which I've been attending for eight years and I just finished the two-year CIT program) has this odd tradition of freezing in place during meals to figure out who clears the table.
Start small on a moment in the wilderness I want to freeze, to my time on the subway, to stopping my sister from going up for a moment, to getting pizza with my friends, to opening my gallery. And finally the question, should I freeze time? What about the bad moments? The moments to come?
I've been throwing around many ideas, but I'm thinking about responding to question 6 ("a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time."). I think it applies to a couple of different points though. Thoughts?
that china thing came out of nowhere
i agree so funny
Coronavirus ?
mr n what
I wrote about my upbringing. Half of my family comes from a different country. My dad was an abusive alcoholic and my mother was a drug addict that would work the corner for money to get high. I contrast that with my adopted family, and how my birth family actually helped me not to fall into certain alleys throughout life. Certain things weren't even enticing because I knew the path that would lead me on and I wanted to be the furthest thing from my biological family.
Is this a good idea? What do yall think? I'm also a former Marine, so I could write about that instead?
Thomas Harrison hi! Sounds like you have a number of ways you can go with the essay. I would reduce the darker moments of your birth parents’ addiction unless it directly relates to you. The marines focus may be of interest...you can use it like a narrative frame, something ceremonial like putting on a uniform at the beg and end of the essay and in the middle you can talk about all the paths you didn’t follow and there I would put the background. Good luck!
Thanks so much, Brooke!
So: 1 - have poor parents, preferably black or immigrants 2- Don't be a snob - be relatable, like a nice cashier at McDonalds 3- Have a strange religion 4- Be meek and even in a position of leadership be overridable 4- Deride yourself as much as possible - like a clown; 5- Be 'authentic'! Be You! Amazing!!! It's not even funny
Having a religion that isn’t western Christianity is not strange lol. The most common religion is used as an excuse for child marriage and a cover up of sexual abuse from pastors/priests- and that’s pretty weird to me.
Is a common application essay on my love for Glee acceptable? Like does it make a interest appeal for a person that's if they explain it right?
No
Yes
Wow Brooke! Awesome Video!💖
I kept expecting you to slide off frame to the right with that big floor tilt :)!
this lady is very good at her job
What about if i put two of them together
Well you guys just earned yourselves a new sub!
i haven't done or achieved anything interesting in my life
i have nothing to write about
Thank you! Great tips
Would it be a good idea to incorporate ideas from all the essays that worked into one?
0:11 I love how she looks down at her computer to remind herself what she's going to talk about this video. Hey supertutortv's been cranking out a lotta content recently I'd be checking twice too! 😂
Can I write essay about my hot-tempered character and then how I improved myself not to be stimulated by that "evil" reaction to make things easier.
Phú Trần Thanh perhaps. Make sure you narrow the 2 or so mini stories that show your growth so maybe one where you show the fiery character and drawbacks and then a similar situation and how you dealt with it differently. Good luck!
Would it be possible to include all of this in one essay? Or would it be extra, and the focus of these essays is to focused on one topic?
you have like 600 words
Do you think an essay about coming to America will be good
This is the best thing I've seen on this site.
What do you guys think about my essay idea?
Over the summer, I went to a summer camp focused on fighting racism, bigotry, and bias. It stuck 50 teenagers of all races, genders, sexualities, religions,etc on a mountain without phones to educate each other on what diversity is. This was such an impactful experience for me because I come from a conservative background and previously had exclusive views regarding social issues, but after the week I was educated my my peers to understand them. Afterwards, I became an ambassador for the social justice organization that ran the camp, advocating for those that I once disagreed with.
so ur saying u used to be racist 😳
lol its a great essay topic
I'm a fifteen-year old student from Peru. And I was thinking about writing an essay about why my life goal is to study in the USA. It's obviously a story, an experience that I want to tell. And I don't know if that would be an essay that doesn't suck.
I need your opinion please.
And sorry if you don't understand some of the things I've wrote, I'm still learning English.
Jimena Sofía We're on the same boat. I'm also peruvian
I'm a sophomore in college and I've been watching these lol
Now your a senior lol
freshmen year and i feel hopeless i go to top 5 high school NYC but im boringh as hell
lolwat i think u shud focus on ur ap's
@depressed boi Not true. This can be at any point in your life.
Hello! I a, an incoming senior and have drafted a common application essay, and I was wondering if you would be able to read it
2 years later and I’ve found this extremely helpful
We did read the heading of the video! we don't need the intro to be so long
Hey Brooke! I've seen a lot of people who tell me not to write about death or divorce. Is it fine if I do write about divorce?
How do I know if my essay is too personal?