true, or follow other things. i like my social media for info. news' government policies, politics. science. but facebook? i have it because other ways i will lose a lot of contacts. but i hate it so much..
Take it as a challenge to not become envious or jealous, teach yourself to be inspired and motivated by them every time you see one of those posts. You have to rewire your brain because otherwise you will automatically compare yourself to them. Take it as a good situation to practice changing how you think because you'll never get away from seeing more successful, beautiful, famous, rich people
Cstank5 I guess so I think people have confused aspiration with inspiration. Its very easy to get caught up in the hype of success not knowing the sacrifices or problems that come with it.
I once heard a quote that went "Don't compare yourself to how someone else is today, compare yourself to how you were yesterday." I'm starting to follow it!
@@halaa3565 are Arabian parents also competitive and naggy about thier child's success just like Asian and Indian parents are?...I wasn't aware of dat...!...maybe itz a problem wid while eastern part of the world,(like Asia,Midde East and some parts of Europe)..
I'm nearly 20 and have no social life and never have had a girlfriend while most my age have. I cannot help but compare myself, I feel so far behind in the social aspect. Hopefully I can turn it around soon.
Cam You're not missing out much. With a girlfriend comes a lot of stress too. In fact, mostly stress. People will shoot and kill others over it. It can be a difficult and sad part of your life. Do this instead, find yourself a friend that's a girl. Dont get too attached but learn from yourself.
Turns out I'm always the same amount of greatful for my life, I can't force myself to be more greatful. That's how it's alway gotta be like. And once something painful happens then I realize that it was way better before it got painful. seems like you need to suffer in order to gain perspektive. So it always evens out. Life is a burden a lot of times and then it's hard to be greatful. I'm not gonna pretend like I'm greatful when I'm not... The key to happines is to find things in life that makes you happy, It could bee a good career, or a person that you like. But if you don't have anything to be happy for then there is just no way to be greatful!!!
"Do not compare yourself to others for you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater or lesser persons than yourself." It's easier said than done. From youth we've been taught to be competitive with others, but never encouraged to compete against the better you.
I think competition is a good thing. No competition at all, as has been proven by the schools over the last 2 decades, severely drains a person of an essential drive. The drive to win or be better. Too much competition, and making everything in your life a competition is bad. It makes us greedy and sad. I will never say that isn't the truth. But no competition at all makes us lazy and even more sad. Being taught friendly competition from a young age, that it's okay to not be the best, but that you need to try hard if you want to be better, is a good thing in my opinion. It teaches children a lesson that will follow them into their adult lives. Hard work is essential to success, you won't be given the same award as Larry, who tried much harder than you, in the real world. You need to try harder than anyone else to get the best stuff. It not only makes for the best result(whatever is being done will be done FAR better), but the person doing it will have a sense of accomplishment. They'll be satisfied and happy with what they've done. It's bad though when a person gets too competitive and feels bad every time they're not the best. So they should also be taught they it's okay to fail, and that failing is the key to a better success.
Natty Boii i feel you man... my mother used to compare me a lot with my 2 years older cousin, in a manner that I don’t care for a word my mother says anymore, not even when it’s a positive thing. My relationship with her became something that a stranger would relate better with each other than us both. Like, so what if I’m in the pursuit of becoming a professional cyclist and he’s in medicine college? Let him be and do what he love, I support him but won’t feel the need to compare myself
I grew up in an Asian household. Growing up as a Korean child, you were always compared to every other Korean child in your community. It’s only when you yourself open your eyes that the realization hits you that it doesn’t matter. That’s when your self-esteem finally grows. You finally succeed; because you’re not someone else. You’re YOU! Thank you for this video. Very informative!!!
I wish I knew it when I was younger. I had a whole inferiority complex (which haunts me to this very day), I compared my self to my best friend at the time and to how I can become popular like him, smart like him, and good with girls like him. I was under his shadow of his wings... I was aware I shouldn't compare myself, but I was so jealous! I wanted so hard! But when he moved away, when I found new friends and I realized my life didn't have to be focused around him and having the same friends and life as him, I finally felt... At ease. Everything felt lighter. I didn't have to try to be like him anymore. Today I still have some issues with the subjects, like scars from the ordeal. I came to the realization in the video in the long way. It took me 6 years to understand, but I finally did. I shouldn't compare myself to another person, I shouldn't want what he has. I should aspire for my own success, not his. I should aspire for friends who are mine, not his friends. To be like myself, not him. Thank you, whoever the reader is, for reading so far. I hope I didn't bore you.
You know, this helps. I was pretty down on myself so I came searching for something motivational to lift my spirits. Found your video. And you are right. Everyone has pain. You can't look at other people's lives without seeing the full picture including all their pain. Thanks for this sobering reminder. And by the way, you were never "nobody", even when you had no money and no one was laughing at your jokes. Thanks again for lifting my spirits today.
No holyX, Hitler's mistake was going to war with Russia, just like every other major empire who has ever done so. The frozen tundra is the worst possible target for military conquest.
I understand u, the media makes it hard, but, I as a young adult recently found the sweet spot where u have a car, a place to live, able to spend money on social events with my fren's, once I found that sweet spot, I can slowly achieve my dream, at my own pace like what I do with the G spot!
Dude just chill out and live your own life. Sure some people especially those close to you will have their own perception of 'a good life' will enforce their own ideals on you, but as long you live an honest life, it is a good life. Everyone has their own role in the world, and that is what makes living great. Love others but most importantly love yourself first.
MiguelPmpM envy of what others have and do is the problem. I desire to be able to give more and that heals the brokenness that is within. The other main factor is this.....envy is sinful, and sin destroys makes us feel horrible, because we have stuck our noses to Yeshua Adonai saying "How you made me is not good enough!" You are a great person....one of the greatest to have ever been created. There are non like you...not ever! So live realizing your uniqueness and most of all Live for following Yeshua...He is love, happiness, and joy!
ehm, all those tips are really fun, but if you are depressed. like really depressed. you maybe should get some help and/or get those sweet antidepressant pills. 💊
This video came at the right time. I often find myself feeling down and depressed because I don’t measure up to how smart or successful some other person is. This video really helped me realize that instead of envying certain parts of people’s lives that are better than mine, I should feel grateful for the things I have in my life.
Look up the seven deadly sins and "envy" is one of them. There will always be someone out there that's better than you. While it is important to always strive for success and make yourself better and not settle for mediocrity, looking over the fence to see how much your neighbor has that you don't can only bring misery.
+Iputonshirts Just admit that both of you are following herds like sheep (wait, and me?).... But c'mon, you have to admit that prager has an agenda, a righ-wing agenda, I assume you've seen it before, with them denying climate change, them supporting american exceptionalism, etc.
I'm really satisfied by this channel. It is not only a very good channel about society, politics and economy, but it is a motivational source, better than any other "your-feelings-matter" liberal outlet. Thank you all.
I'm not really sure about the "politics" part, dude :v there are propaganda everywhere and of course there are trust-worthy channel too but do not rely on the news they give you too much. Sometimes i found that there was quite a bit "personal feelings" on PragerU channel about some certain problems
There are there things people usually do to make their lives more terrible First: Amplify other people's happiness Second: Amplify their own unhappiness Third: Repeat doing those two things So I think what Tom said was definitely true! You'd better compare yourself to your past-self and then find the best ways to improve your self rather than try to imitate what 'the top guys' did Thank you. Have a nice day everyone
The problem isn't so much about comparing ourselves with people we admire --- after all, they can serve as excellent role-models. The problem is the notion of keeping up with the Joneses, where we "have to" have an SUV/luxury car, own a suburban home through a mortgage (instead of living with our parents), thus getting into debt, and having children even though we may not be ready financially and otherwise.
Bob Odenkirk is a great example of this. He’s a friend and a totally down to earth guy who worked his butt off for a long time to get where he is now. Excellent message in this video.
I, for one, stopped comparing myself to others around the age of 22 when I realized I was still a jobless NEET permavirgin living in my parents' basement watching Chinese cartoons and committing onanism multiple times a day (mostly to Chinese cartoon girls). I am very proud of this accomplishment.
So true! It's a simple but effective way of thinking once you really apply it to your life. Sure not comparing won't change the reality but at least you can allocate that frustrated energy to something more productive. Such as working on your own success.
La Delicia De Linda La Delicia De Linda very Right said madam .Not comparing yourself with other does not block the difficulty and hardship that a person is destined for.The thing that is inevitable will happen in one's person's life noone can stop them .Still by not comparing with other they will remain contented .What we should remember is contentment is also a bigger source of happiness(considering difficulty persisting in one's person's life).
I don't usually compare myself to the lives and successes of others but I do use my parents as a measure of success. I grew up in much better conditions than my parents did, something that many people can relate to and I do think that it is our duty to reach their level or even surpass them. Otherwise, all the effort and sacrifices they made for us would be for nothing.
BE CAREFUL with this attitude. It is your life and you live your best life. You have no obligation to match or surpass them, only to reach your goals. This is coming from someone who thought exactly the same as you.
Lol wouldn't you being alive and healthy be a blessing to parents who love their children? And besides getting saved by repenting and trusting in Jesus is the most important thing you can do. It wouldn't matter how successful you were if you end up burning in hell.
Quang Anh Vu thats false, your parents have lived their lives, its up to you to live your own, your father may be a CAO, does that mean ypu should reach his level? there is no obligation whatsoever to reach a "level", i dont even believe in those levels, a simple happy craftsman with respectable earning is happier than a forced ingenieer because he does what he likes.
A few thoughts went through my mind as I watched the video. The first thing I thought of was how I consider myself to be lucky in life. I feel like I am lucky because I could have been born in Siberia in the 18th century and lived a tough and probably short life. Or I could have been born in China in the 6th century, had children at age 15 and toiled in a rice paddy for the entire 17 years of my life. But I was born in America towards the end of the 20th century. How lucky can you get? And then there is the chance meeting of this guy... My boyfriend did not do well in school. His lack of academic aptitude left him with essentially no chance to select a career. He was relegated to picking a job that had a balance consisting of as much enjoyment as possible, with the best pay. But where he does not have academic ability, he has this innate wisdom. He does not and never has viewed his life in terms of career. His philosophy is to go through life enjoying each day best he can and hopefully taking some people, like me, along with him on his quest for happiness. Contrary to what the video says; life is not necessarily hard. Ask him if his life is hard and he will tell you no, it is fun. Rarely, almost never I have looked at someone else's life and wished I had it. On the contrary, I have wondered how many people have looked at my life and wished they were in my place. I know there are a few, friends mostly, because they have told me.
Life is hard in terms of obstacles you'll come up against. It won't always be a bed of roses and the older you get, the more you'll realize that. There are constantly bumps in the road that we have to deal with (job losses, loss of loved ones, breakups, illnesses, etc.), but that doesn't mean it's not worth it. He didn't mean that life hard to navigate, just that everyone has their share of problems.
I don't think everyone has their share of problems. We all have a few problems but there are those whose yardstick for success is not the same as most others. I tend to look at life not day to day or even month to month, but more from the my earliest childhood memories to now. I think one's sense of obstacles is largely contingent on the path of the life, and state-of-mind. A friend of mine wants to marry someone with a decent income, have a house in the suburbs, and raise a couple of healthy children. She envies those who have that. I want to enjoy today while at the same time not doing something stupid to ruin tomorrow. Which of us has more obstacles and will face more problems?
Thank you! It's a real eye-opener! Since my son turned 15, I have been subconsciously comparing him/his achievements to his more successful peers. I need to get off his back and respect him, as himself!
But it makes even more sense when you see others same level as you.and then they dont waste their time later on they have all they want wild others who waisted their time struggle and are unprepared for life, but since you compared yourself to him and decided to challenge him you haved already becomes a happy man in the end.its a lesson to learn by experience not by quotes.and this is a different situation to anybody
I understand that, and there is no such thing as 100% agreeable unless you have a hive mind. In every group you get involved with, there are always things you won't agree with.
this is the best advice I've ever heard. now I didn't hear it first from Tom Shillue and have been trying to follow it for years. but the presentation here is excellent and I hope that more people watch and follow this wise advice
Thankfully I learned of not comparing myself at a young age, I learned: "When you compare...there is always a winner and a loser...On what side are you when you end the comparison?"
Hey, Tom. Just want to let you know, whenever I get depressed about where I am now in life, I always go back to this video to help me remember all the good things I have in life. Thanks, Tom.
Loving yourself is the greatest gift that you can have in your life because even if people treat you as inferior, you know in yourself that criticism could never destruct you because you're a strong woman who knows what she wants in her life.
Thank you Tom. I oftentimes forgot to be grateful for having what I have. Because I've been looking to someone richer, or looking like they are happier in social media.
Just do whatever the hell makes you happy *Don't* just do stuff for the sake of impressing people or showing off Achievements don't make you a nicer or more deserving person
SpankytheTswana Whats the benefit on being surround by envy people,its better to leave them inspiration rather than a feeling your life has bigger value tham they lifes
SpankytheTswana I know,but when a person say something like that it doesnt mean he/she wants to go same path for succsss,its that he/she just want your success,your ultimate form and achievement and they usually dont care what it really takes to get into such position. If your point was the inspiriting than I agree,even trought that I hate when anyone say to either other person or me 'I want to be like him/you' just cause of what they actually tried to say.
SpankytheTswana I have friends who want to leave they lifes totally and become somebody else,they dont want only they success,they want they lifes entirely instead of having imorovments at they own.Thats very familiar to fanatics tho.
Unfortunately how "good" and how "rich" you are thought to be is in comparison to others. If you only knew billionaires and you made 2 million a year, you would consider your self poor. If every girl you knew was like a Victoria's secret model and you were just an ordinary girl you would be considered as the ugliest person. Everything is about this invisible average line. So yeah, do not compare yourself with others but rather improve.
Think about what the Victoria Secret model may look like at 6 o'clock in the morning with no makeup on, her hair up in curlers, a flannel bathrobe, drinking coffee and smoking a cigarette. Bags under her eyes. You just might be better looking than she is!🤔😐
It depends how you compare yourself to other people. If you see someone with high level art and u aspire to have high level art, compare and see how u improve! (In this instance, shading, ect.). Don't let by urself think that you are the best artist ever when you do need to improve.
chris anderson I disagree with most of their videos this one is not half bad we should compare our lives to other people by only as much as we need to. To see what if he people have is what motivates us to get better yes that can harm us but everything in moderation including moderation
I learned this some time ago after going through some crisis. Today, I try not to compare myself to others but do my best in whatever I have to do. There is another part to happiness; don't take the people around you, the life around you for granted.
Old saying: "If you envy your neighbor's shoes, be prepared to share his corns and calluses." Meaning even if you could experience what they did, or do, you wouldn't "have it made" as much as you may think. You'd also have experience the tragedies, hardships, etc. that they suffered too.
More power to you, and I wish I learned this lesson a long time ago and respected my strengths and weaknesses. I'm currently in the process of rebuilding myself.
Jayson T thank you for saying that. I have learned how to be happy based on the true teachings of the Bible. Nothing in life could make me happier than knowing that Jehovah is with me. If you would like to know more, please reply :-)
This is by far one of the most powerful statements that I have ever heard. I don't know Tom Shillue and have never heard of him, but I am definitely a fan of his now. Looking forward to seeing all your material. Thanks for your insight
yes but we forgeting one important thing, Motivation, if we want to be like someone, this is gona motivate us and make us better at what we do and achive our goals ?
not so for everyone; people can want to push their limits at all times without looking at someone else; can they learn from others? yes, but never compare
The apostle Paul would seem to agree: “For we dare not class ourselves or compare ourselves with those who commend themselves. But they, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.” 2 Corinthians 10:12
Putting effort and trying to be progressive can also go in hand with this. Don't slack of in trying to reach 'Your' major goals being business, physical, emotional, etc. Try one small goal at a time, that will lead to the major one and help build self confidence. Not doing so, might bring you back into comparing yourself to those who did put the effort and were successful. The road to happiness is also rough, full of bumps and pot holes, but don't give up, push on.
Really good advice. I think it's natural for me to be self critical, so for my temperament it's important to recognize the flaws in others to not feel inferior. Also if the good and wicked are indiscriminately given success, fame, fortune, and status - then can any of these these things be considered good? Not that they are bad either, but that they are morally neutral. The Greek word for sin was hamartia and meant to miss your target with a bow. In the same way, if you miss your target in life you will sin. If fame is your goal, you'll do anything to get it. If money is your goal, you'll do anything to get it. But, if self mastery and being truthful and reducing unnecessary human suffering is your aim, then in your pursuit of the correct aim your arrow will be on the right path. This also means that what ever happens is the best possible outcome, because you know your aim is right. If something bad happens, it was the best possible outcome given the circumstances, and may even help you grow. Not that anyone knows exactly what to aim for, but you first just have to aim in the general direction and over time it becomes more and more focused.
I rather just be myself and if I'm not happy at the moment, then I need to make a change but I have three beautiful daughters and I am a single mother and I do get stressed out but at the end of the day, I wouldn't have it any other way and I would never give it up for all the money in the world or to be someone else
Wonderfull!! I'm stop comparing my self with Christopher Nolan and try to be the best filmmaker can be... I'm very happy now! Thanks God for this video!
I may not know you personally but I hope God brings you success and strength with the path you're taking to achieve your goal. Work hard, strive, don't think negative, learn from mistakes and believe in God so he can give you the strength to never ever give up. Wish you the best and I hope to get to watch your movies in the future. 🙏
Some people go through their entire life not realising this Tom, I really feel bad for them. You have hit the nail on the head! It took me a while but I got there in my mid thirties and it's definitely the way forward.
As the saying goes, "Better to be a first-rate version of yourself, than a second-rate version of somebody else."
Tomorrow We Live never heard that. i like it
That's perfect.
Leave me out of it.I would rather compare you to others in a negative fashion.
Wow...
Bullets Forteeth
I'm thinking most people find that accumulating things that end up in landfill suits them best,but.Your point is well taken.
This problem has been amplified through social media. People posting only holidays,relationship status etc.
easy stop using social media
true, or follow other things. i like my social media for info. news' government policies, politics. science.
but facebook? i have it because other ways i will lose a lot of contacts. but i hate it so much..
Take it as a challenge to not become envious or jealous, teach yourself to be inspired and motivated by them every time you see one of those posts. You have to rewire your brain because otherwise you will automatically compare yourself to them. Take it as a good situation to practice changing how you think because you'll never get away from seeing more successful, beautiful, famous, rich people
Cstank5 I guess so I think people have confused aspiration with inspiration. Its very easy to get caught up in the hype of success not knowing the sacrifices or problems that come with it.
Or the other way around... posting about how hard their lives are so they feel kind of entitled to other people's attention
I once heard a quote that went "Don't compare yourself to how someone else is today, compare yourself to how you were yesterday." I'm starting to follow it!
That´s from Jordan Peterson´s book 12 rules for life but it´s super helpful
@@lennart9197 nope it's from icarly seasson 2 episode 5.
Thats a good one to follow
@@WeNightFall yes
How about don't compare yourself to anyone, even yesterday's version? Comparison is the work of the ego.
Send this to indian and asian parents pls
High on Taeyeonism and arabian parents please
@@halaa3565 are Arabian parents also competitive and naggy about thier child's success just like Asian and Indian parents are?...I wasn't aware of dat...!...maybe itz a problem wid while eastern part of the world,(like Asia,Midde East and some parts of Europe)..
Constipated Bowels now you know that.
@@halaa3565 all thanks to u....I don't know how dat improved my life thgh...we r screwed for having born in dis part of the world...!..
Indians are Asians
I'm nearly 20 and have no social life and never have had a girlfriend while most my age have. I cannot help but compare myself, I feel so far behind in the social aspect. Hopefully I can turn it around soon.
+Cam Find yourself dude :-) , be yourself , find your dreams , and hard working for it .....
Cam be yourself, gear yourself progressively, build morality, values, principles, don't rush things, be in control and everything will be great.
it's alright, don't get pressured by the society around u, move at ur own pace, u will reach there eventually
Cam You're not missing out much. With a girlfriend comes a lot of stress too. In fact, mostly stress. People will shoot and kill others over it. It can be a difficult and sad part of your life. Do this instead, find yourself a friend that's a girl. Dont get too attached but learn from yourself.
Don't worry. Relationships are useless
So basically *Be happy and appreciate everything you have* .
ace 1121 right basically
U saved me almost 5 min thank you
salvador Vasqez lol thanks
Or First! Take a Big Step Back.....
Laziness
"You want your own life- only better"
really hit me
"Compare yourself to your past self."
Words of wisdom!
Speaking from experience, I can confirm that is true. :)
Not better to be honest lost a lot because of covid.
A wise woman told me this: "somewhere, someone out there is praying fervently for something you take for granted".
Thanks for sharing, this help me a lot!
That just makes me feel worse though.
The fact that you're doing better than somebody else doesn't mean that you're doing well.
@@viktorilinkolov7114 no but there is always something to be grateful for
Key to happiness = be grateful
sandika wijaya aji key to happiness = health & $ lot of $$$.
That's right ..
Rings a bell ;)
Turns out I'm always the same amount of greatful for my life, I can't force myself to be more greatful. That's how it's alway gotta be like. And once something painful happens then I realize that it was way better before it got painful. seems like you need to suffer in order to gain perspektive. So it always evens out. Life is a burden a lot of times and then it's hard to be greatful. I'm not gonna pretend like I'm greatful when I'm not... The key to happines is to find things in life that makes you happy, It could bee a good career, or a person that you like. But if you don't have anything to be happy for then there is just no way to be greatful!!!
sandika wijaya aji.... Absolutely RIGHT 😘
I compared myself to Hillary, and it turns out 2016 was a very good year for me.
Robert LVN 😅
Robert LVN are you a real nurse?
No, just an LVN. But when I finish this next round of very expensive college classes I'll be a Real Nurse (RN).
Perfect comment
😁😁😁
"Do not compare yourself to others for you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater or lesser persons than yourself." It's easier said than done. From youth we've been taught to be competitive with others, but never encouraged to compete against the better you.
Whats wrong with that if someone is not as good as you good for you and if they are better just focus on you nobody else but is your life so live it
@@thebeastofmeeliasmaldonado1942 You must be Guatemalan. I have the same last name. Coincidence?
Edyson Maldonado yeah bro you may be right i dont even know great insight tho
True.
I think competition is a good thing. No competition at all, as has been proven by the schools over the last 2 decades, severely drains a person of an essential drive. The drive to win or be better. Too much competition, and making everything in your life a competition is bad. It makes us greedy and sad. I will never say that isn't the truth. But no competition at all makes us lazy and even more sad. Being taught friendly competition from a young age, that it's okay to not be the best, but that you need to try hard if you want to be better, is a good thing in my opinion. It teaches children a lesson that will follow them into their adult lives. Hard work is essential to success, you won't be given the same award as Larry, who tried much harder than you, in the real world. You need to try harder than anyone else to get the best stuff. It not only makes for the best result(whatever is being done will be done FAR better), but the person doing it will have a sense of accomplishment. They'll be satisfied and happy with what they've done. It's bad though when a person gets too competitive and feels bad every time they're not the best. So they should also be taught they it's okay to fail, and that failing is the key to a better success.
My parents always compare me with somebody, that's how it all happened
Same here...
And your grandparents did the same it’s a never ending thing I feel your pain we all do
Are you from an asian household?
Same here, I give up with my arab parents
Natty Boii i feel you man... my mother used to compare me a lot with my 2 years older cousin, in a manner that I don’t care for a word my mother says anymore, not even when it’s a positive thing. My relationship with her became something that a stranger would relate better with each other than us both. Like, so what if I’m in the pursuit of becoming a professional cyclist and he’s in medicine college? Let him be and do what he love, I support him but won’t feel the need to compare myself
I grew up in an Asian household. Growing up as a Korean child, you were always compared to every other Korean child in your community. It’s only when you yourself open your eyes that the realization hits you that it doesn’t matter. That’s when your self-esteem finally grows. You finally succeed; because you’re not someone else. You’re YOU! Thank you for this video. Very informative!!!
Did stand up for 10 years with no pay - damn thats dedication to his craft!
Agreed! I only measure against my best. It's a much happier life.
Mark Aaron Murnahan danm, you beat me. With a longer and more substantial comment.
Mark Aaron Murnahan
Well played.
thewebmaster of the deep :-D
Mark Aaron Murnahan
Wow.
MiguelPmpM It's all the explanation I had at 4 a.m. :-D
I wish I knew it when I was younger. I had a whole inferiority complex (which haunts me to this very day), I compared my self to my best friend at the time and to how I can become popular like him, smart like him, and good with girls like him. I was under his shadow of his wings... I was aware I shouldn't compare myself, but I was so jealous! I wanted so hard! But when he moved away, when I found new friends and I realized my life didn't have to be focused around him and having the same friends and life as him, I finally felt... At ease. Everything felt lighter. I didn't have to try to be like him anymore. Today I still have some issues with the subjects, like scars from the ordeal. I came to the realization in the video in the long way. It took me 6 years to understand, but I finally did. I shouldn't compare myself to another person, I shouldn't want what he has. I should aspire for my own success, not his. I should aspire for friends who are mine, not his friends. To be like myself, not him.
Thank you, whoever the reader is, for reading so far. I hope I didn't bore you.
Bob Jim I have the same story as you
I also feel the same way to one of my best friends, ngl.
TOM, you're a fabulous human being!!
I wanted to write the same thing.
You know, this helps. I was pretty down on myself so I came searching for something motivational to lift my spirits. Found your video. And you are right. Everyone has pain. You can't look at other people's lives without seeing the full picture including all their pain. Thanks for this sobering reminder.
And by the way, you were never "nobody", even when you had no money and no one was laughing at your jokes. Thanks again for lifting my spirits today.
This brought a tear to my eye. I’ve only ever compared myself to others. This was a powerful and difficult truth to accept.
That would make a great character arch in a book.
AS BILL GATES SAYS: " WHEN YOU COMPARE YOURSELF WITH OTHERS, YOU ARE INSULTING YOURSELF"
Hahah, Bill Gates said something very similar, but that one above is definitely from Hitler. 😂
No holyX, Hitler's mistake was going to war with Russia, just like every other major empire who has ever done so. The frozen tundra is the worst possible target for military conquest.
I always feel ashamed of comparing myself with anyone, infact thats the only thing I always feel ashamed of.
You're right! The best thing to do. So simple yet so hard in these days...
Then simple is far more nuanced than it first appears ?
I understand u, the media makes it hard, but, I as a young adult recently found the sweet spot where u have a car, a place to live, able to spend money on social events with my fren's,
once I found that sweet spot, I can slowly achieve my dream, at my own pace like what I do with the G spot!
Explains why I feel depress, and constantly failing, unable to live the moment.
Dude just chill out and live your own life. Sure some people especially those close to you will have their own perception of 'a good life' will enforce their own ideals on you, but as long you live an honest life, it is a good life. Everyone has their own role in the world, and that is what makes living great. Love others but most importantly love yourself first.
MiguelPmpM envy of what others have and do is the problem. I desire to be able to give more and that heals the brokenness that is within. The other main factor is this.....envy is sinful, and sin destroys makes us feel horrible, because we have stuck our noses to Yeshua Adonai saying "How you made me is not good enough!" You are a great person....one of the greatest to have ever been created. There are non like you...not ever! So live realizing your uniqueness and most of all Live for following Yeshua...He is love, happiness, and joy!
Try watching more porn.
ehm, all those tips are really fun, but if you are depressed. like really depressed. you maybe should get some help and/or get those sweet antidepressant pills. 💊
Porn is always the solution for everything ;)
This video came at the right time. I often find myself feeling down and depressed because I don’t measure up to how smart or successful some other person is. This video really helped me realize that instead of envying certain parts of people’s lives that are better than mine, I should feel grateful for the things I have in my life.
Look up the seven deadly sins and "envy" is one of them.
There will always be someone out there that's better than you. While it is important to always strive for success and make yourself better and not settle for mediocrity, looking over the fence to see how much your neighbor has that you don't can only bring misery.
That's easier said than done
@@tyskai8339 but it is possible
@@royisdabest no it isn't
PragerU is so good
FireSnipe
FireSnipe they're a propaganda network for big money interests
MrFrigginAwsome you're a sheep following people who treat stupid people like a sucker
MrFrigginAwsome Sheep.
+Iputonshirts Just admit that both of you are following herds like sheep (wait, and me?).... But c'mon, you have to admit that prager has an agenda, a righ-wing agenda, I assume you've seen it before, with them denying climate change, them supporting american exceptionalism, etc.
When I watch "Cops" or "Beyond Scared Straight" I feel better about myself.
same
is that bad? lol
me too
Man, my place is a total mess... *Watches Hoarders* Wow, my place is pretty clean!
Ken williams - Hey, I can still see the floor here! By comparison, I am pretty neat. (by comparison)
PS, I have 9 cats.
I'm really satisfied by this channel. It is not only a very good channel about society, politics and economy, but it is a motivational source, better than any other "your-feelings-matter" liberal outlet. Thank you all.
I'm not really sure about the "politics" part, dude :v there are propaganda everywhere and of course there are trust-worthy channel too but do not rely on the news they give you too much. Sometimes i found that there was quite a bit "personal feelings" on PragerU channel about some certain problems
"Be yourself - everyone else is taken!" ;-D
“Don’t compare yourself to others”
School, Family, Workplace and Society:
*”ALLOW US TO INTRODUCE OURSELVES”*
Easier said than done....
dogayilmaz 12 it can be done if you believe in two things, that is people are not meant to be equals in everything; stay away from Communism.
True enough.
Not really, it's called "contentment"
dogayilmaz 12 But it had to be said
Try harder..
There are there things people usually do to make their lives more terrible
First: Amplify other people's happiness
Second: Amplify their own unhappiness
Third: Repeat doing those two things
So I think what Tom said was definitely true! You'd better compare yourself to your past-self and then find the best ways to improve your self rather than try to imitate what 'the top guys' did
Thank you. Have a nice day everyone
The problem isn't so much about comparing ourselves with people we admire --- after all, they can serve as excellent role-models. The problem is the notion of keeping up with the Joneses, where we "have to" have an SUV/luxury car, own a suburban home through a mortgage (instead of living with our parents), thus getting into debt, and having children even though we may not be ready financially and otherwise.
This made me so happy thank you.
Bob Odenkirk is a great example of this. He’s a friend and a totally down to earth guy who worked his butt off for a long time to get where he is now. Excellent message in this video.
I, for one, stopped comparing myself to others around the age of 22 when I realized I was still a jobless NEET permavirgin living in my parents' basement watching Chinese cartoons and committing onanism multiple times a day (mostly to Chinese cartoon girls).
I am very proud of this accomplishment.
so, your comment proves that you didn't stopped to compare yourself to the common sense :P
James C.
Praise kek!!!
Scholar and gentleman, I tip you adieux.
21 & still doing that. Tell how you are doing now.
Well........
One can''t deny your confidence :D
So true! It's a simple but effective way of thinking once you really apply it to your life. Sure not comparing won't change the reality but at least you can allocate that frustrated energy to something more productive. Such as working on your own success.
La Delicia De Linda La Delicia De Linda very Right said madam .Not comparing yourself with other does not block the difficulty and hardship that a person is destined for.The thing that is inevitable will happen in one's person's life noone can stop them .Still by not comparing with other they will remain contented .What we should remember is contentment is also a bigger source of happiness(considering difficulty persisting in one's person's life).
La Delicia De Linda Q delicia! LOL
Luis Calderon kkkkkk tinha que ter um brasileiro comentado isso kkkk ( mas ela é mesmo) hahaha
Man, I needed this so much today... Thank you :)
Learning America Same. Hug?
once i stopped comparing, i stopped feeling envious! its so freeing🥰
Don't Compare Yourself to Others,
Mind your own Business.
this is exactly what Buddhism teaches
I don't usually compare myself to the lives and successes of others but I do use my parents as a measure of success. I grew up in much better conditions than my parents did, something that many people can relate to and I do think that it is our duty to reach their level or even surpass them. Otherwise, all the effort and sacrifices they made for us would be for nothing.
BE CAREFUL with this attitude. It is your life and you live your best life. You have no obligation to match or surpass them, only to reach your goals. This is coming from someone who thought exactly the same as you.
Lol wouldn't you being alive and healthy be a blessing to parents who love their children? And besides getting saved by repenting and trusting in Jesus is the most important thing you can do. It wouldn't matter how successful you were if you end up burning in hell.
Quang Anh Vu thats false, your parents have lived their lives, its up to you to live your own, your father may be a CAO, does that mean ypu should reach his level? there is no obligation whatsoever to reach a "level", i dont even believe in those levels, a simple happy craftsman with respectable earning is happier than a forced ingenieer because he does what he likes.
A few thoughts went through my mind as I watched the video. The first thing I thought of was how I consider myself to be lucky in life. I feel like I am lucky because I could have been born in Siberia in the 18th century and lived a tough and probably short life. Or I could have been born in China in the 6th century, had children at age 15 and toiled in a rice paddy for the entire 17 years of my life. But I was born in America towards the end of the 20th century. How lucky can you get? And then there is the chance meeting of this guy...
My boyfriend did not do well in school. His lack of academic aptitude left him with essentially no chance to select a career. He was relegated to picking a job that had a balance consisting of as much enjoyment as possible, with the best pay. But where he does not have academic ability, he has this innate wisdom. He does not and never has viewed his life in terms of career. His philosophy is to go through life enjoying each day best he can and hopefully taking some people, like me, along with him on his quest for happiness. Contrary to what the video says; life is not necessarily hard. Ask him if his life is hard and he will tell you no, it is fun.
Rarely, almost never I have looked at someone else's life and wished I had it. On the contrary, I have wondered how many people have looked at my life and wished they were in my place. I know there are a few, friends mostly, because they have told me.
Not only is there an element of luck to be born in America when we were, there is an element of luck just to be born.
Life is hard in terms of obstacles you'll come up against. It won't always be a bed of roses and the older you get, the more you'll realize that. There are constantly bumps in the road that we have to deal with (job losses, loss of loved ones, breakups, illnesses, etc.), but that doesn't mean it's not worth it. He didn't mean that life hard to navigate, just that everyone has their share of problems.
I don't think everyone has their share of problems. We all have a few problems but there are those whose yardstick for success is not the same as most others. I tend to look at life not day to day or even month to month, but more from the my earliest childhood memories to now. I think one's sense of obstacles is largely contingent on the path of the life, and state-of-mind. A friend of mine wants to marry someone with a decent income, have a house in the suburbs, and raise a couple of healthy children. She envies those who have that. I want to enjoy today while at the same time not doing something stupid to ruin tomorrow. Which of us has more obstacles and will face more problems?
+Chicago Shawn
"there is an element of luck just to be born."
You didn't asked to be born.
Shooting Range Productions It would be a difficult proposition to be asked to be born.
You deserve all success that comes your way. You are a great man.
BE YOURSELF, EVERY ONE ELSE IS TAKEN
One of Prager's better videos for sure
" If you compare yourself to others you will either become vain or bitter for there is always someone better or worse than you in some way."
wow you delivered the message so good i wish i could do it just as good as you
dude to the top this comment is underrated
Bruni You're both better commenters than me. My comments suck compared to these.
Lol😂😂
The irony😂
clap clap not bad
man, I wish I had as many subscribers as this dude
wait..
ChloChloa lmao dude
ChloChloa: that reply was beautifully ironic. :-)
Thank you! It's a real eye-opener! Since my son turned 15, I have been subconsciously comparing him/his achievements to his more successful peers.
I need to get off his back and respect him, as himself!
it makes sense totally, we should ONLY compare ourselves to ourselves, when i think back to how i used to be.....wow
arnyarny77 how have you been doing? it's pretty hard to get that idea out of your brain
But it makes even more sense when you see others same level as you.and then they dont waste their time later on they have all they want wild others who waisted their time struggle and are unprepared for life, but since you compared yourself to him and decided to challenge him you haved already becomes a happy man in the end.its a lesson to learn by experience not by quotes.and this is a different situation to anybody
This is one of Prager's good videos.
Its a feel-good video
I honestly felt better after watching it
When PragerU is finally right about something
Bandicoot Captain Crunch Yeah haha, I am not exactly very conservative.
I always agree with Praeger U until they talk about marriage.
E2Moto PragerU ain't TYT. You are not obliged to agree with it.
I understand that, and there is no such thing as 100% agreeable unless you have a hive mind. In every group you get involved with, there are always things you won't agree with.
E2Moto Growing up with on and off parents, I gotta agree with them there. It's better if people work it out.
This is the better PragerU i want to see
This is an eye opening for me. I was dreaming to become somebody else and forgot who and what I really am.
this is the best advice I've ever heard. now I didn't hear it first from Tom Shillue and have been trying to follow it for years. but the presentation here is excellent and I hope that more people watch and follow this wise advice
Thankfully I learned of not comparing myself at a young age, I learned:
"When you compare...there is always a winner and a loser...On what side are you when you end the comparison?"
already three thumbs down. who could have a problem with that message.
progressive commies who watch tyt
matt smith all 3 of them
TolkienFan32 peope who do not agree with the video?
me for example.
TolkienFan32 damn, it's 59 now, what is it with these people
luis Rodriguez They may just disagree with the message. I feel that the message of 'be the best you that you can be' can be a path to mediocrity.
Hey, Tom. Just want to let you know, whenever I get depressed about where I am now in life, I always go back to this video to help me remember all the good things I have in life. Thanks, Tom.
Yes! ONLY compare yourself NOW to yourself THEN! You're doing OKAY!
Loving yourself is the greatest gift that you can have in your life because even if people treat you as inferior, you know in yourself that criticism could never destruct you because you're a strong woman who knows what she wants in her life.
No wonder I fail. I compare to everyone else.
Thanks for that, :) going through a bit of a struggle lately, the positivity and honesty in your video helps.
Couldn't be further from the truth. You Sir have just hit the nail on the head. It's never ending, if you start to compare yourself to others.
Thank you Tom. I oftentimes forgot to be grateful for having what I have. Because I've been looking to someone richer, or looking like they are happier in social media.
Just do whatever the hell makes you happy
*Don't* just do stuff for the sake of impressing people or showing off
Achievements don't make you a nicer or more deserving person
And quit competing for the most "likes" on social media. Like if you agree
Rudeboy Jackson the irony lol
you almost had it the likes but you failed
Rudeboy Jackson 😂😂😂😂
Lmao I see what you did there XD
Be the best you and someone will want to be like you :)
#inspireothers not make em jealous
SpankytheTswana Whats the benefit on being surround by envy people,its better to leave them inspiration rather than a feeling your life has bigger value tham they lifes
That's what I meant mate. Didn't mean make them feel jealous but make them feel inspired to say, "Man, I want to be like this man."
SpankytheTswana I know,but when a person say something like that it doesnt mean he/she wants to go same path for succsss,its that he/she just want your success,your ultimate form and achievement and they usually dont care what it really takes to get into such position.
If your point was the inspiriting than I agree,even trought that I hate when anyone say to either other person or me 'I want to be like him/you' just cause of what they actually tried to say.
SpankytheTswana I have friends who want to leave they lifes totally and become somebody else,they dont want only they success,they want they lifes entirely instead of having imorovments at they own.Thats very familiar to fanatics tho.
SpankytheTswana Thanks, okabe
This is probably the only video in the world that every single person can learn from. Genuine thanks.
Even 4 years later this has help. Thanks Tom and Dennis.
Unfortunately how "good" and how "rich" you are thought to be is in comparison to others. If you only knew billionaires and you made 2 million a year, you would consider your self poor. If every girl you knew was like a Victoria's secret model and you were just an ordinary girl you would be considered as the ugliest person. Everything is about this invisible average line. So yeah, do not compare yourself with others but rather improve.
Think about what the Victoria Secret model may look like at 6 o'clock in the morning with no makeup on, her hair up in curlers, a flannel bathrobe, drinking coffee and smoking a cigarette. Bags under her eyes. You just might be better looking than she is!🤔😐
well said!
I needed to hear this here I really did......be yourself that's all do. wut u can be .. yourself but be yourself...
I compare myself to everyone everyday it’s my biggest demon it makes me feel like a nobody
It is such a lovely thing that there are a lot of happy and intelligent people on Earth. Life is an insanely awesome ride.
Thank you Tom ! Such a eye opener. Greetings from Amsterdam !
It depends how you compare yourself to other people. If you see someone with high level art and u aspire to have high level art, compare and see how u improve! (In this instance, shading, ect.). Don't let by urself think that you are the best artist ever when you do need to improve.
Nailed it!
Best video of PragerU
chris anderson I disagree with most of their videos this one is not half bad we should compare our lives to other people by only as much as we need to. To see what if he people have is what motivates us to get better yes that can harm us but everything in moderation including moderation
@@AD-nv6jt so where do you disagree if at all with me, I would want to know.
I learned this some time ago after going through some crisis. Today, I try not to compare myself to others but do my best in whatever I have to do. There is another part to happiness; don't take the people around you, the life around you for granted.
Old saying: "If you envy your neighbor's shoes, be prepared to share his corns and calluses." Meaning even if you could experience what they did, or do, you wouldn't "have it made" as much as you may think. You'd also have experience the tragedies, hardships, etc. that they suffered too.
I've never compared myself to another person wishing I was them...
Edit: I don't use social media, maybe that helps
YT is technically social media.
If you were not, you would have ignored this video let alone comment on it
YT is social media but I get what ur saying
YT is also the best social media for mental health according to psychologist rankings
I genuinely am happy being me. I don't look at anyone else and wish I had their life. not everyone is like that, but I am just happy being me
More power to you, and I wish I learned this lesson a long time ago and respected my strengths and weaknesses. I'm currently in the process of rebuilding myself.
Stan Ford I wish I could be like you.
Jayson T thank you for saying that. I have learned how to be happy based on the true teachings of the Bible. Nothing in life could make me happier than knowing that Jehovah is with me. If you would like to know more, please reply :-)
Comparison is the very conerstone of capitalism. It is how we create competition. We don't have to be the best, just better than our competitors.
Loius Walden But, but, this has nothing to do with capitalism- it's a man explaining how he became happier when he quit comparing himself to others.
me and my wife did it 4 years ago, one big step to healthier life!
This is by far one of the most powerful statements that I have ever heard. I don't know Tom Shillue and have never heard of him, but I am definitely a fan of his now. Looking forward to seeing all your material. Thanks for your insight
yes but we forgeting one important thing, Motivation, if we want to be like someone, this is gona motivate us and make us better at what we do and achive our goals ?
not so for everyone; people can want to push their limits at all times without looking at someone else; can they learn from others? yes, but never compare
Damn, I wish I could be like Tom Shillue, he's doing so awesome for himself.
The apostle Paul would seem to agree:
“For we dare not class ourselves or compare ourselves with those who commend themselves. But they, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.” 2 Corinthians 10:12
Always compare yourself to who you was yesterday than who someone else is today
Thanks Tom. I'm autistic and matured late - can't compare myself to others.
Putting effort and trying to be progressive can also go in hand with this. Don't slack of in trying to reach 'Your' major goals being business, physical, emotional, etc. Try one small goal at a time, that will lead to the major one and help build self confidence. Not doing so, might bring you back into comparing yourself to those who did put the effort and were successful. The road to happiness is also rough, full of bumps and pot holes, but don't give up, push on.
"... and Tom Shillue's wife and kids.", You nailed it! Everyone has their own treasure already.
Well said good job man
This video was one of the most inspiring videos on self help that I haven't seen in years. Thank you so much.
Thanks for this video, it puts things into perspective
Really good advice. I think it's natural for me to be self critical, so for my temperament it's important to recognize the flaws in others to not feel inferior. Also if the good and wicked are indiscriminately given success, fame, fortune, and status - then can any of these these things be considered good? Not that they are bad either, but that they are morally neutral.
The Greek word for sin was hamartia and meant to miss your target with a bow. In the same way, if you miss your target in life you will sin. If fame is your goal, you'll do anything to get it. If money is your goal, you'll do anything to get it. But, if self mastery and being truthful and reducing unnecessary human suffering is your aim, then in your pursuit of the correct aim your arrow will be on the right path. This also means that what ever happens is the best possible outcome, because you know your aim is right. If something bad happens, it was the best possible outcome given the circumstances, and may even help you grow. Not that anyone knows exactly what to aim for, but you first just have to aim in the general direction and over time it becomes more and more focused.
I rather just be myself and if I'm not happy at the moment, then I need to make a change but I have three beautiful daughters and I am a single mother and I do get stressed out but at the end of the day, I wouldn't have it any other way and I would never give it up for all the money in the world or to be someone else
AJ Reyes amen
AJ Reyes hey
Wonderfull!! I'm stop comparing my self with Christopher Nolan and try to be the best filmmaker can be...
I'm very happy now! Thanks God for this video!
I may not know you personally but I hope God brings you success and strength with the path you're taking to achieve your goal. Work hard, strive, don't think negative, learn from mistakes and believe in God so he can give you the strength to never ever give up. Wish you the best and I hope to get to watch your movies in the future. 🙏
"Comparison is the thief of joy"
Some people go through their entire life not realising this Tom, I really feel bad for them. You have hit the nail on the head! It took me a while but I got there in my mid thirties and it's definitely the way forward.