NOT YET | Omeleto
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- Опубліковано 14 жов 2024
- A woman lacks a maternal instinct.
NOT YET is used with permission from Jeffrey Jones. Learn more at imdb.com/title....
Jenna and Andy are a happily married couple in their mid-30s. They're looking at the next step in their journey as a couple and start a family soon, though Andy is much less conflicted and reluctant about it than Jenna, who feels she isn't ready. But Jenna is made well aware that she's not getting any younger anytime soon.
But when Jenna discovers that she was an unwanted pregnancy for her mother, she begins to question the impact of that on her life history and psychology, not to mention her relationship with her mother. And she can't help but wonder how her ambivalence about becoming a parent will affect a future child, putting her marriage in question as well.
Directed by Jeffrey Jones from a script co-written with Marieve Herington (who also plays a supporting role in the film), this spritely dramedy takes an initially fresh and spirited approach to the story of a woman trying to decide whether or not to get pregnant. Quirky, witty dialogue, an aspirational sheen to the clean, bright visuals and a happy couple are some of the ingredients in the rom-com narrative cocktail. But unlike most rom-coms, which focus on courtship, this narrative focuses on the next step of a couple's journey -- one that they feel very differently about.
The story starts with Jenna at her gynecologist's appointment, where she gets a warning about waiting too long to have a baby or else risk having to do expensive rounds of IVF. This propels Jenna into a tailspin of reflection. But then she discovers from her mother that she was an unwanted pregnancy, and she also gets into an argument with her pregnant friend Poppy, who doesn't understand Jenna's reluctance, reciting many of the typical arguments for motherhood. There's also her husband Andy's unmistakable desire to become a father, and their own loving, happy marriage.
These complications take the film in a more serious direction, but they also underscore the lack of nuanced discourse around childbearing, pregnancy and motherhood for women. As Jenna, actor Ashley Holliday Tavares handles both the lighter comedic moments and the rawer dramatic ones with a compelling honesty, a quality which is also the hallmark of the film itself. Funny, tender and generous in spirit to its main characters, NOT YET has the lightness of a comedy and romance but is unafraid to respectfully explore nuanced, difficult questions about women, parenthood and the narrowness of discussion around these topics -- a narrowness that can backfire on the couples and even children involved. In the end, both the audience and Jenna arrive at a realization -- one that is heartbreaking in its honesty, but brave in its clarity.
Quite the story. Easy struggle to not "get" when it's all in theory. My wife always knew very very much that she wanted a kid, but as an "every duck in a row" person it took her a good while before she felt ready. And when the time came that we gave it the first try - she cried afterward, and not in a joyful or "wow, I can't believe we're doing this" way but in a really freaked out one. But before long, when early attempts didn't "bear fruit", she shifted to really really wanting it to happen, asap. And then it did, and our baby was born, and it has been a wonderful journey every since.
It's good that the woman in the story reflected on the hard questions and truths - her thinking came from the right place. The only thing even remotely "wrong" about her situation was in not having thought the question through before committing to her husband, putting him in a tough spot by pulling the rug out after the fact. But that could have happened with a life change, or a medical development, or who knows what - if this were a real couple whose story continued, I imagine things would work out.
thank you for sharing!
I haven’t seen much about this topic in film and television. It’s so refreshing to see and to see it told well. Amazing!
It's perfectly OK for a woman to not want children, and we need to stop pushing the narrative as if it's abnormal and leave it at that.
@@geminidreamz6704 true, but she should have been upfront with him when he told her on their first date that he wanted children. Could have saved a lot of heartache for both of them
It is perfectly okay for a woman to not want kids but that’s not the full issue here. She really doesn’t want kids, her partner really does, and you cannot just “leave it at that” when you and your partner are not on the same page about a life altering decision. It is not said and done, because you have to think about what your partner wants, too, and unfortunately, deciding whether or not to have kids is not really something people can compromise on since it’s bringing a life into the world. Most likely, their relationship is going to end in divorce because they can’t give each other what they want.
"No woman regrets having kids?" The lies run Deep Doc! 😆 🤣
Not always 😮
Damn your comment has 60 likes at this moment…. I feel like if a woman regrets her kids, she should have never got nocked up in the first place..
@@artsyterra8350 ...Postpartum Depression is a real thing.
She was saying in her practice, she hasn't seen anyone with regrets.
@@artsyterra8350 Her regret could come after getting to know her kids. I can't fault her if her kids are to blame.
Wow, the woman from the couple who visits is really unpleasant. Why do some people think they have the moral superiority and only their world view is valid?
I don't know but we sure have a lot of them running around America right now. As far as I'm concerned their worldview they can keep it to themselves.
You should hang out with her in real life. Woof.
And it looked like the friend was drinking wine aswell despite being pregnant.
it often feels like there is some insecurity there- like if you reject it, that is a challenge to their whole reality.
A sensitive topic handled by this story. Excellent acting, cinematography and soundtrack. Another Omeleto gem!
I can only imagine the countless babies & pregnancies resulting from women who didn’t really want to be moms but just felt pressured by society, parents, husbands.
Her reluctance was undoubtedly tied to being unwanted and resented by her mom. But nobody should be forced to make such a huge life altering choice.
One person wanting a child while the other doesn't is a deal breaker. This definately needs to be discussed before deciding to get married. The desire for wanting a child can be just as overwhelming as the desire to not wanting kids. Resentment can lead to divorce.
@@aplum4218 absolutely true! There are other deal breaker like religion, personal values or money handling, but none of them has such a big impact as wanting or not wanting children.
Bigno.
@@donfabian1542 Right, because if you don’t want kids but end up having them anyway because your partner wants it, more lives are affected than just you and your partner. And if your partner wants kids and you don’t, that’s going to affect them a lot, even if they don’t push for kids.
I've never wanted kids and I told my ex-husband that while we were dating. After 10 years, he changed his mind and decided he wanted kids after his nephew was born. I still don't regret not having kids & I'm 62 now. I just never had that urge & most times kids just annoy the crap out of me. My friends & family just don't get it.
I wish more people were like you. The world would be a better place. Too many people in the world who were not given the love or attention as a child and turned into bitter, angry, and selfish adults.
Soo self centred.
Soo, you couldn’t sacrifice the cumulative 5 years that it would take for the kids to stop being “annoying”? Jeez.
glad you both were honest with each other and handled it like adults.
@@joekeegan-yc4nm OP and ex-husband parted ways.... and lived their life, how is that selfish?
Do it, don’t do it, but don’t drag someone else along with you.
I think the man knows this since the beginning, I also had my doubts, and my couple knew it (he wanted to have children) but he was in love with me, and he respected that, but when my girl was born all doubts disapeared, it's the best thing it ever happened to me and my couple, I did it cause I knew he would be always there for the child, but if you don't feel ready it's your choice, a very difficult choice at last, good short👍❤️
@@hernanfernandez4983 it’s like anything else in a relationship. You discuss it and you agree upon it and you move forward together. But you shouldn’t commit to something as important as children and then randomly change your mind years later. If you can’t commit, don’t. If you do commit, stick to it.
I relate so hard to the board game guy. I love a good board game and always force my vaguely-interested friends into playing new games with me, but he hit the nail on the head with that one line "does she need a reason".
@@shia_labeouf also, Gods and Crops is an awesome game.
the breath of reliefJenna releases when the other husband says "Can't you just not want a baby?"
like its the most normal thing, because for whatever reason, he accepts and respects Jenna's decision
"You'll come around. All women do" is so ignorant and it brushes away jenna's concerns and her feelings about something that should be HER decision
This needs to be decided before marriage especially if the other person wants a child. The desire to want a child can be overwhelming. Divorce maybe an option.
I think she really wants a baby, but she's afraid of becoming like her mother was, but she seems to be quite different to her, she has to prove herself this first, the doubt it's a signal, when you're stuck between two strong ideas about in this case baby or no baby your mind tortures you, 😮
I never had kids, I never wanted kids. I look at humankind and the earth and the country I live in, I look at what the future seems to hold for us right now and I have absolutely zero regrets. I feel so sorry and afraid for the young people, who out of no fault of their own, will have to try to live on the world we're making right now. I know I'm all doom and gloom, but look around and tell me I'm wrong.
I agree with you 1000% percent. This is also my take on having kids...smh. It is a fcked up world that we live in and it will only get worse in the future!
if only we had a time machine to turn back time.
In all due respect, do you not think what you are saying might be a little hypocritical since I'm sure you are glad that you are here as result of your parents having a contrary view?
@@hilmartertiusnot even a little bit. I resent my father having me. He knew damn well how much mental illness ran in our family. He should never have born children. Fortunately, he's now a wonderful grandfather and I'm the only one of three offspring who has to struggle with the crippling depression, but his choices were selfish all the same.
Babies are great. Let someone else have them.
@@abraxasjinx5207 I'm moved by what you are saying. I'm deeply sorry to hear of how you are feeling. People are precious and life if precious. I really meant no offence. My experience with my own children is just something I wish for everyone else too, even if they don't feel like it at the time because they don't know how it will be. I've heard of many people who regret not having kids and when they are older and change their minds, it is too late. Still, I understand that it's not for everyone and what I said was not meant to be condemning. I hope that things will make a turn for the better for you. Please don't loose hope.
I will never understand "baby fever". My cousin is trapped in a loveless marriage because he wanted to knock up someone he barely knew, and now they're talking about having another. That seems unimaginably cruel to bring yet another person into their toxic relationship. I still resent my father for having two children after me when he knew he was diagnosed with severe bipolar manic depression, and there were suicides on both sides of the family. I love my sisters dearly, and I'm so glad I'm the only one that got the depression part of his and my mom's genes, but it still seems like such a selfish decision on his part. We aren't all meant to be genetic parents. I love kids, and I would love to meet the right person someday who already had kids, but I decided when I was young that I would never repeat my own gene pool.
“Baby fever” happens because a lot of happily married people happily get pregnant and happily have children together because they want to have children.
@@pathetic2399 not always the case, if you will simply read the first part of my comment.
True story. 25 years ago, I was married to an Andy who wanted kids, but I taught all the grades….. and I just started taking the pill again and lied to everybody that I just couldn’t get pregnant. It turned out for the best. I set him free to marry somebody else. Yes, I married again. It all worked out and I continue to keep helping kids.
I love that - good for you!! 😉
Been there. The idea of giving birth absolutely terrifies me 🫣
It scared me too. after having my 2 kids, I’d go through it again. Plus if worst comes to worst, you can always get epidural if your afraid of pain.
It would be nice if more people gave more thought to how the cuddly baby they want will very quickly become a child and adult. These former babies are in no less need of your attention, in fact, they may need it more.
They never leave you (no matter how old!!!)
I'm glad I watched this short film. I never wanted kids and never had kids due to my misophonia and bad childhood memories with narcissistic parents. I loved my career, but it took me to typically conservative locations where compatible mates were hard to find. If I had a time machine, I would explore the option of living in a major city such as New York.
such a nice guy - it sucks
Yes he perfectly understood her. But he made her understand him too. So that’s the end of their relationship
Just how it is sometimes.
What a good $F&*ng movie. Sometimes there are no easy answers. I like the fact that the film doesn't have a resolution but that it just ends.
The resolution is most likely divorce. They’ll find someone on the same page someday.
i feel this sm. As somebody who was groomed by a man when i was 13 and constantly was pressured into having children, society just expects you to follow traditions.
Very hard topic to cover correctly, well done! & hits home hard
Society. Stay true to your inner calling, girl. No kids or yes kids, you are born a human being. Stick to being human first. I never regret my decission to be childfree.
Obviously the guy needs to divorce this woman and find another wife that wants kids
What a thing of a woman!
Depends..Is the fear having a child or raising a child or both? Some women have a phobia of physically being pregnant and pushing the child out. Maybe adoption or surrogacy could be an option. I can't tell with how the video ended
This was done so beautifully. 💜
@@dollhouseq1530 It’s probably both for her, given what we learned in the video.
This may be case of old wounds but it doesn't make it wrong for her to say no.
It’s not wrong for her to say no, but it’s unlikely that their relationship will continue on for much longer if she really doesn’t want kids and he won’t ever change his mind about wanting kids.
I loved this story, I understand bc I wasn't ready to have at 35. Now I'm in my late 40's and I want to have children despite what society says about older moms. I am more patient, mature and in the very near future will be financially stable. Women/Womxn, don't allow ANYONE to force you to have a child- NOT EVEN OUR GOVERNMENT. Fight for reproduction rights in Nov 2024.
She knew from the beginning, he wanted children. She knew from the beginning she didn’t want a child. They’re not compatible, but he didn’t know that, because she selfishly kept that vital piece of information to herself.
I think the point of the film is that she DIDN'T know from the beginning that she didn't want children. When they met she was probably much younger and thought she had plenty of time for that and didn't think about it much deeper than that because she was conditioned to believe that all women want to become mothers and if that instinct hasn't kicked in yet, it will eventually. And when her ob-gyn wrongly convinced her that she hit the wall, she came to a realization that if she doesn't want kids now, she probably never will. And further more, that her mother never wanted kids either. But it clearly wasn't something she was aware of from the start.
@@psychobiddyExactly. Most of us grow, evolve and sometimes change
I'm with you. There was a couple in my neighborhood like this. There may have been other issues but they ended up divorcing and he remarried and now has a new born at the age of 46. You have to be honest with your partner. One person wanting kids while the other doesn't is a deal breaker.
Society puts a ton of pressure on people to have kids, love dogs/cats, like children, be straight and be religious. For those of us who naturally abhor those things its sometimes difficult to admit to ourselves much less anyone else. this kind of self righteous sentiment here is a huge part of why this is so hard for those of us who dont fit the mold.
@@psychobiddyeverything you said l agree
Interesting story. It was in the opposite direction with me and my wife. I had a really bad childhood, hated kids, and never wanted them. She couldn't live with herself regretting not having one. My wife told me the same thing. That I wasn't my father, and we eventually agreed to have one. I won't say it was an easy process. I love my daughter. I wouldn't go back to not having her, but I sure miss things about life before having a kid.
I actually know this woman. Their relationship was under strain for a few months but a random weekend away brought a life changing turn to their lives. They are no proud parents of a baby boy named Gerald.
You do realise it's a movie... With actors...
Not yet, not ever- is a very responsible stance when you truly don't want to be a parent!
This is perfectly laid out..... ❤
2:55 genuine male response! Any time, any day! 😄
3:47 that hurts even through the screen!
5:40 that hurted quite as much... 😬
2:06 It's not that he knows her. The little clock next to the autocomplete tells that she already made that search, it's from her history xD
Good on the friend's bf on giving his own opinion outside of his girlfriend
It's a little sad that people want life to fit around their very particular needs. We live in a self centred world. Have a child or don't. Nature always wins.
I mean, yeah of course they do. We only have one life, and no one has a right to demand that anyone live their life a certain way. If someone doesn’t want kids, they shouldn’t have to have any.
Well done!
But, but, but, I heard a brilliant bearded politician say today that if you don't have kids you have no right to rule over the rest of us. Or something something something cat ladies, blah, blah, blah. He's So Handsome too.
why is their pregnant friend drinking wine?
Wine in minimal amounts here and there during pregnancy is perfectly safe as long as it's not taken overboard
@@kananitakeshi3249 the glass seemed very large/full. just thought it was an interesting oversight in the film. also she was hella annoying so i’m just trying to be a hater.
because it's equality, diversity and inclusion gone wild.
Thank you for noticing. I saw it too. Slight oversight
It's Pom wonderful.
She is selfish...she should have been up front with him from the beginning about not wanting kids. Those people having the baby are mean....but this movie is over exaggerating everything....its not realistic.
People don't always tell their feelings right away due to fear of judgement. Amazing discovery!
@@whothefrickareyou8106 Fear of judgment is no excuse when it’s your romantic partner and you know they want children. She should have been upfront with him instead of wasting his time.
@@pathetic2399shoulda coulda woulda will not create perfect humans.
Forced instinct
What's wrong with the color saturation on this film? The doctor's eyes are the same shade of blue as the rubber surgical gloves. It's very disconcerting.
The friend is really obnoxious. And why is she drinking?
Not all women want kids. I am the oldest of four with a 11 year gap between myself and the youngest. I paid attention, changed diapers, fed, and dealt with meltdowns. I Love my FUR BABIES! No regrets.❤
the warehouse gay guy from the office !!!!
Spoiler
Happy ending! 😁
I love her mom😂😂😂😂 Honesty is the best policy!
Amazing
I’ve been there!
This topic needs to be discussed before marriage. This is one of those things that is a deal breaker.
I'm listening
I know a guy he didnt want kids absolutely not😂 and maybe 3 yrs later.... he was married and had a kid😮
guys are always right lol.... they do whatever they want at the expense of others - hope this is not a sexist comment
I hated this exactly as much as I thought I would.
❤
I guess she lied to him from the beginning
Did you know that people can change their opinions. Especially over entire years.
Dont over think it. Just Do It!
Children are a gift. They are treasure. They change you from being self-centered to a much more rounded and understanding person. The bond between loving parents and children lasts a lifetime. Yes, they mean a lot of sacrifice but they make life meaningful. This is NOT an "Omeleto treasure" as it was clearly written by someone that has no experience of being a parent. I feel sorry for this story's character who will miss out in life when at old age, she discovers that her life could have been so much more rewarding and meaningful and filled. In this story, the mother is clearly unique as I've not met a single person in my life that is as neutral about having their children as she was, again, proving that the writer of this story has no experience in raising children and recommends hedonism over a traditional family life by choice. We've seen many, many couples struggling to have kids when they are older. I don't think when you are in your late 20's and early 30's that you truly have the understanding that mature adults gained through hardships.
Lots of parents neglect and abuse children, the whole point of this video was to examine your beliefs. You chose to dig in instead.
Having children will not automatically make a person not self centered, more rounded, or understanding. There are many parents that should not have had children. Just as there are people that cannot have children that would make excellent parents. Nothing is absolute. I do agree however that children are a gift, and I wish more people would be responsible when deciding to have them. They don't ask to be here and should not be unloved, unwanted, neglected, or abused in any way. Also if you do not have any time to spend with a child, you probably should not have them either imo
Unfortunately, my parent is still self-centred and to me this story actually was a treasure as I have a lived experience of what the protagonist is dealing with due to a self-centred parent, I simply question if I ever will have the emotional maturity within to care for a child as it should be or even the desire to have one, I mean I do not gosh over children or babies as much as most females around me and I am tired of feigning it because I also am burdened with society expectations. Not everyone thinks having children will be a gift and that’s not due to selfish reasons , they simply are not what society wants to box us into. I think it could be a mix of trauma or just them. Either way I am sure a person without children can have a life well lived. And having children doesn’t guarantee a healthy legacy that someone could so happily reflect on in their old age, even if done right.
@@dollhouseq1530 I agree with you that it doesn't automatically mean change in a person however, if the joy, love and deep sense of gratitude I get with my daughters and how selfless they love, doesn't similarly bring a change for the better in a person, that person must be very hard hearted. I understand that some people are like that and there are many bad relationships but the core message of this Omeleto is trying to convey that it's okay to choose yourself and decide not to have kids because you should choose emotions over reason. The problem here is that people alive today are happy that their parents gave them life willingly or unwillingly. Ask most teenagers' if they want to go to school. Most say no, but are they glad they got an education, yes. This to me is the same principle. If this character had a child and invested in her as a parent should, they would have ended being her best friend. Sadly, she chose her current life and was too fearful that she might not want it. So I have a problem with the essence of this story's message. No offense was meant by what I said.
@@happydan20 Kaboom!
Good. Babies are overrated.
Give me a furry animal any freakin day ♡
Adoption
I mean, so what? The ending would be better if they didn’t hold hands. Now I am confused 🫤
These movies are bad.
Omeleto has really been going downhill for the past few years..
The video's used to be so solid and touching, but now it's all just weak.
WOULD LOVE ❤ TO SEE MORE LGBTQ FILMS
June is over! Will you give us a break?
this is the wrong channel buddy. We don’t need that crap.
I avoid conflating LGB with the other letters.
@@A190xx I . 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
There are plenty out there! Not this one.
genius................WOW!!!!!
14:42 time for divorce