A victim or victor?

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  • Опубліковано 29 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 41

  • @henriettavanderfloof8104
    @henriettavanderfloof8104 7 місяців тому +10

    Who is this “best friend” who cut you off? We have many questions for her.

  • @marianelabalanesi2830
    @marianelabalanesi2830 3 роки тому +15

    I also was in an abusive relationship... for 21 years. I didn't let him, he did, in february 2019, with rage and telling me horribles things... But then, one week after he left, I woke up. and started a long process. At my 50 I feel better than never in my life, I feel like Im healing every aspect of my life, I can see what I never couldn't see before. It is magic. I resonate with every single word you teach, dr. Shefali. Thanks for that, really is very very helpful. My english is not good enough, I.m from Argentina.

    • @elenamarina9736
      @elenamarina9736 3 роки тому +3

      I understood every word you wrote so i think your english is good enough 😉 I wish you a happy life,sister! Greetings from Romania ❤

    • @marianelabalanesi2830
      @marianelabalanesi2830 3 роки тому

      @@elenamarina9736 thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • @blessedbynature1
      @blessedbynature1 2 роки тому +1

      Understood every word....so good for you. I'm on my way, too. 2 months divorced, friends with ex, but on my own first time in years

  • @marianelabalanesi2830
    @marianelabalanesi2830 3 роки тому +6

    You don't look tired at all, you are a natural beautiful and smart woman... We, women have to learn to treat each other with love and compassion

  • @holisticdiva9366
    @holisticdiva9366 3 роки тому +3

    so powerful! thank you for sharing your amazing work Dr Shefali..xxxx

  • @UnicornKelly
    @UnicornKelly 3 роки тому +5

    Moment to moment boundaries. Thank you!

  • @Louiselunn
    @Louiselunn 2 роки тому +1

    I just ordered your book after binge watching your book club all day 🙏 this is what I need to break free from a bad relationship but also from the anger and resentment towards the other person and everything that unfolded. I'm taking responsibility for my own illusions and fantasies to reclaim my power!

  • @TannilleBrown
    @TannilleBrown 7 місяців тому +4

    “It sounds crazy now” That’s because you are crazy 😂 💀

    • @Apachita
      @Apachita 7 місяців тому +1

      Dr.Todd Grande and the Behaviour Panel need to examine this. There is so much "dupers delight" and even a Freudian slip where she says "the best way to get back at him was to be an advocate". How sinister after all she put him through. Including having her parents force him to take that trip with her. They begged him to continue a relationship with someone he couldn't stand, who he already escaped from! He was such a nice guy to do them this favour. It is really disturbing they would ask this of someone. Especially at a time when he needed to be at the bedside of his dying stepfather. Shows how spoiled rotten of a narcissistic manipulator she is.

  • @miriamchalmovianska863
    @miriamchalmovianska863 3 роки тому +1

    Another point. I have been disconnected from myself my whole life. 32 years. Just after 5 year relationship, where we dragged each other down instead of raising each other up and 2 years in denial, selfloathing, victimhood and mania a started to truly discover my power and believe in me. I dont need man, marriage, children. I want a partnet at my level. Career where i can grow both mentally and professionaly, own businesses on side, dogs and cars and travel and create art. Nothing else besides my friends and family. I am complete. I dont desire to be mother to anybody but foster animals. I feel invincible after 7 years again. I can do anything and everything on my own. No dependency. Gives me tremendous selfconfidence and peace of mind. I enjoy the moment here and now, dont mourn the past, dont scare if future. Can be dead by tomorrow:) carpe diem

  • @priyankagupta-ci5um
    @priyankagupta-ci5um 3 роки тому +1

    oh i loved your point about make up, and you look radiant without makeup. You look "you", not like everyone else with same color lips and same color cheeks. I love the no makeup look, its very powerful!

  • @mariselamoreno5787
    @mariselamoreno5787 3 роки тому +2

    Thank you Dr. Shefali ❤️🤗

  • @cinderella407
    @cinderella407 Рік тому +1

    🎊🎉🎊🙏❤️❤️❤️😇💞💞💞👨‍👩‍👧💞💞💞😊❤️❤️❤️🙏🎊🎉🎊 AND, OF COURSE, WE ARE ENORMOUSLY, ENAMOURED THAT, YOU ARE IN THE WORLD, OUR DEAREST DR. SHEFALI, DOLL ... KIND TEACHER, MA'AM ... 🎊🎉🎊🙏❤️❤️❤️😊💞💞💞👨‍👩‍👧💞💞💞😇❤️❤️❤️🙏🎊🎉🎊

  • @donnawoodford6641
    @donnawoodford6641 3 роки тому +1

    Hello from Panamá. I agree that girls have been told to "Be good" and "Be nice". I had no voice as a child. As an adult, I learned that sometimes divorce is a good thing!

  • @shaynalee
    @shaynalee 3 роки тому +3

    Omg!!! Yes!! Why do I have to fix everything?

  • @hisnewlife3543
    @hisnewlife3543 2 роки тому

    Dr. Shefali, I dont think you will read a comment from this long ago but I am new to finding you and am going through all your old videos. My experience as a victim of childhood abuse from my mother, abuse from boyfriends and the abuse from my ex husband, I remember finally getting the feeling I needed to admit I was being abused at home by my husband and told the neighbors and then they befriended him and not me. I called my mother, who was my abuser in childhood and as an adult, then she told me she never wanted to speak to me again. I found admitting abuse brought on rejection from absolutely everyone around me. So, I stayed in the marriage two more years because he was the only person I had. It was awful. To this day,, four years later, I almost cant trust a friend at all. I find ways of getting rid of them and take off. This is my pattern. I hate it so much and want to stop running.

  • @liiiiizi1
    @liiiiizi1 3 роки тому

    Thank you!

  • @Gratefulmamah
    @Gratefulmamah Рік тому

    Agreed! Allow yourself yo just be! Find the beauty in you!

  • @amazingconsistency3039
    @amazingconsistency3039 3 роки тому

    Thank you Dr. Shefali. I resonate with this message to the T!! Took my power back and am a victor now. Much appreciated and keep going. I am an educator and teaching these life lessons through social emotional learning lessons/discussions. Blessings

  • @Fonzie1955
    @Fonzie1955 7 місяців тому +1

    The small percentage of Men being abused and the victim is Laura’s victims. How crazy to watch this now and see how she truly is using the information that was given. She used it against her future victims.

  • @ryanmaus8924
    @ryanmaus8924 3 роки тому

    Great awakening DR. SHAFALI! Could you do a book club video touching on the face of the ego as the savior? That really resonated with me opening up new portals within myself I believe, hearing you input would further my own investigation. Thank you so much. And sorry if I might of missed it if you already did. I've been keeping up with the book club but not in order so I may have missed some.

  • @ryanmaus8924
    @ryanmaus8924 3 роки тому +1

    Absolutely love the book, im on chapter 15 "lies about sex" so well written in a genius order in awakening women an men. Thank you for all of your work, HUGE fan, and student 🙏 namaste

  • @lindareese4579
    @lindareese4579 3 роки тому +2

    You don't look tired...you have natural beauty...be yourself...but a little bit of make is great...but you look wonderful without it also...don't listen to what other people say....

  • @lreactor
    @lreactor 7 місяців тому +3

    Well this did not age well

  • @univers368
    @univers368 2 роки тому

    There are so many narcissistic women too. How those narcissistic and victime of narc people existe?! One of results of the patriarchy is narcissistic mothers, who actually educate and raise narcissistic men and women.

  • @tracysires2234
    @tracysires2234 3 роки тому

    What if the partner feels like he gives, gives, gives, gives to the relationship by working and bringing in the income?

  • @michelleorris5904
    @michelleorris5904 3 роки тому

    Fabulous content.

  • @vinayakbiradar1424
    @vinayakbiradar1424 3 роки тому +1

    🙏🙏❤️❤️👍👍

  • @henriettavanderfloof8104
    @henriettavanderfloof8104 7 місяців тому +3

    Ummm, so, your “guest” just might be a serial family lawsuit junkie… I suggest you search the verifiable facts you can find on her story or at the very least interview BOTH sides. It’s the LEAST you could do.

  • @erikaforbes2024
    @erikaforbes2024 3 роки тому +1

    Hello Dr Shefali ❤️

  • @miriamchalmovianska863
    @miriamchalmovianska863 3 роки тому

    And maybe we shall take some responsibility for staying in the abusive relationships too long... guess that would help. Now we say we are victims of the takers, we are givers, empaths, good women/not girls. But deep down we all knew something is terribly off. We have that feeling in out gut telling us to run and never look back...

  • @aasthadeepti3933
    @aasthadeepti3933 3 роки тому +1

    Hello I am from Canada

  • @RaviRanjan-ov5gn
    @RaviRanjan-ov5gn 3 роки тому +1

    ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • @radianceface5107
    @radianceface5107 3 роки тому

    I am WORTHY. 🥰😘😍

  • @univers368
    @univers368 2 роки тому

    Dear Laura, I dare to say that your mother is no different then your ex-boyfriend. If you will understand why you recruited him you will get that.

  • @erawayrev
    @erawayrev 3 роки тому

    I am pretty sure that u are well aware than in occident or the west women tend to rely on make up for one reason or another. In the west a women witn no make up on is seen differently than in your culture, maybe. We can not erase or ignore culture differences when trying to bring them together no matter how noble the purpose. Also l have seen repeatedly on people from your country Ghandi who was in favor of keeping in place the caste system in India, mother Theresa that advocate for pain as a tool for clean of sins. I totally disagree with them both. To see pain as something good for me is an inadequate approach

  • @miriamchalmovianska863
    @miriamchalmovianska863 3 роки тому

    Im sorry... but the friend whi left, she protected herself. And she did the best thing ever for you too. She showed you there is something horrendously wrong with your ex bf, you and the whole relationship... you needed somebody to hang on, but it was a wake up call... you are blaming her for things she was not responsible for. Victim mentality. You need a lot of therapy still. Keeping my fingers crossed.