I'm an INTJ and I don't find it necessary to adjust my social skills to meet what others may consider the norm. When interaction is necessary, I prefer to be authentic. If someone wants to get to know me, they will encounter the real me. Likewise, I wouldn't expect a feeling type to adjust their interaction style by being more logical to accommodate me. I always prefer people to be exactly who they are. It eliminates pretense and helps people determine those they want to form bonds with. I've never found my approach to be undesirable. I've risen to top exec positions in my field and I think my acceptance of my natural abilities, along with the acceptance of the natural abilities in others, has helped me achieve success. I don't find it necessary to acquire assorted friendships & would much rather connect in a meaningful way (yes, I'd rather be respected than liked). I guess this comment proved many parts of your video. ☺ Ty for the breakdown.
I think the same way by the way and I am an INFJ, I wonder if those issues are truly only applicable to INTJ and INTP. I might just be the outlier here, I don't know.
I recall that when I was a teen, I hated being the socially awkward INTP as much had nothing in common with my high school pears, and didn’t have all the social charm that all the more extroverted girls had; -but as I got older I began to understand how fortunate I was to be that very rare introverted NT. I could see and solve problems a lot quicker that everyone else, and always had that intense curiosity that the other didn’t have.
I am a INTJ. One thing I noticed that when I was romantically interested in someone, or was attracted to the individual. I kept obsessing about what they thought of me it drove me wild. Another thing I will say is I opened up to these individuals on a level I had not before, and I was betrayed. This really bothered me for a long time. And I eventually let my anger out on them even though it had a major emotional toll on me. Also, I have developed insights on identifying N versus S, and when I see there are a S I generally decide not to open up to them to avoid criticism or betrayal. Which I know is controversial but I do it for my emotional safety. Thank you for also acknowledging that INTJ do indeed have a good sense of humor hehe.
As INTJ, at one pint in my life I noticed that I have trouble with comunnication. I read some books about it, found some info online and I try to practise every time I talk to someone. Recently I got responses that I am nice and fun to talk to [even from people who I have only small talk with]. So everything can be learned [that's a good info!], although it requires patiens. Now my only struggle is to start conversation with someone [but I am training that too, so I hope soon my troubles will come to an end] Because you may not care about what people think about you, and you may not care about their being at all. UNTILL YOU NEED THEM. Then you can't ignore them and you have to communicate with them. And you have to do it in a nice, epathetic way, otherwise people won't listen to you.
I found this to be true for me too very recently, as I'm trying to put this crazy idea out there and I absolutely need to approach it in a different way.
But now the struggle is. I know this as an ENTP, who have experienced all this at a much younger age. What you will figure as an intp is that using logic will make you perceived autistic, while using extroverted feeling will make you feel fake, but appreciated! What you will risk is the entp fallacy, wheras lack of appreciation in the theoretical realm makes you deactivate your logic capacity, as they are socially disrewarded for using introverted thinking, and therefore devalue their introverted thinking. This is how you get into the Ne Te Fe Si unbalanced entp subtype, the annoying entp that doesn’t take responsibility for all but si, in its undirected irrational optima forma. Ti for this subtype will be aspirational and will be recognized as part of their identity, but may not be to the untrained eye, my dad also an entp i believe has always regretted not doing economics for instance. He became a lawyer instead, and I haven’t spoken to him in 3 years because family fallout, but it is this that i am trying to figure. How has his irresponsibility been cause and effect within this system
Thanks for the analysis, Chris! Insightful breakdown for how the cognitive functions might influence different flavors of social hang-ups between INTP/J. Not opening up to others as INTJ causes definite friction for me. Sometimes it is about vulnerability, but often it is because I don’t want others in my business for no reason. If I open up, it is because I need specific information to solve a problem, for example. If there is no purpose for it, I’m not inclined to share. Conservation of energy? In my experience, I’ve done best socially by seeking environments that don’t require much personal sharing but focus on goal-oriented activities (games, fixing things, mutual interests, developing projects, etc). Maybe it is common for INTJ to want to do well socially because there are advantages to being liked and/or respected, like securing funding or supporters (I’m speaking in terms of general social skills rather than intimate or close relationships), compared to desiring it as a validation and integration of the shadow, like an INTP. Mastery of an environment/situation (despite people) is where you’ll find INTJ plucking their luggage from the baggage claim. 😏 Neat topic, as always!
I totally agree with you Chris, and I love INTPs and especially INTJs. I know they can say what they want around me for it won't hurt me. Being a dominant Ni brother, I also understand where this is coming from. It does help having auxiliary Fe, if we INFJs are around, we could help interpret to others what either of you types are trying to say. It also helps being an intuitive myself to get your philosophical meanings and to get into conversations that sensors won't touch. I think we could help either of your 2 types to be less socially awkward, but I feel that time teaches you that at some point anyway.
definitely true that INTJs would like their ideas to be received as their main social need. I would say the pressure to emote is not that we don't want to share emotion, it's that there is no emotion to share. when there is emotion, we'll express it how we feel, usually privately, definitely never on command.
This is quite accurate for me as a natural friendly driven entj, when I find the tribe to be unsafe for me I have gone into intp shadow. So it's not a pleasant state until someone called it recalibrating and I realized it's my back to the drawing board mode. For me I get very agoraphobic because I never really learned to be assertive til recently. I also never learned boundaries till now. I think doing a lot of therapy and processing has helped me go back to entj but now I can toggle both fairly well. I know when I'm going agoraphobic I have been uncomfortable but sometimes don't know why because fi is so low. Anyway yes I have been known to put my foot right snuggly in my mouth lol. It's so funny cuz I honestly don't understand human emotions so I just fail a lot and then decide to avoid people sometimes. I have an intj friend and I'm now looking forward to the second half of thos video.
Fun fact it's my intj friend who coins my shad type as recalibration. Him saying that helps me get out of it so fast as I stopped being frustrated and started seeing it as necessary. He and my infj friend are my two most important friends because they are so helpful. It's like ni cubed when we all think together if I'm in entj mode. Like I said that's my natural state so ni is my jam.
As an entp, i like to think of the problem like this. The intj feels like he/she is from another country, while the intp feels like he's from another planet. Fi third is annoyingly bratty (given he/she is about 20yo), while Fe fourth in social communication is just hopelessly funny. Like 'game' is not what i associate the intp with. The intp is like a magnet for attracting girls. It is just the wrong end of the magnet. I have an intp friend. hope he gets to read this. It is also funny though, because the intp is the antidote to all my fear of not being accepted. We suck, but they suck harder. then when it comes to academics its a whole different story, but lets not talk about Si shall we.
I'm still not really sure about myself. I don't use facebook, and only social platform i use is mastodon, it's not for 'socializing' but keeping in touch with people that shares similar interests (so i can keep up with tech news/trends/learn something new. A lot of people are interesting and there's always a chance i will learn something new). I don't consider myself social, but no matter if someone consider self as 'non social' - getting to know others opens up the chance to learn new things. The feeling of 'sharing' something with other person is liberating. Today, whenever i fix something, deal with problem - whatever ... i make notes, i wasted so many experiences and knowledge. It's not only 'free material' to share, i also can back to certain thing ... remembering everything is impossible. At this point i stopped 'playing lone wolf'.
Could you elaborate on what you mean by 'opening up more through introverted feeling' as an INTJ? I thought that for me, opening up meant needing to connect more with my ESFP subconscious
As an INTP I have better developed Fe so it is possible for them to do this if their is a will there is a way but they need to recognize that this function is going to help them connect with people and to be aware of theirs and others feelings . Doing this they will have meaning and purpose in their life. Allot of INTP'S if their only in their Ti they will become nihilist so developing Fe is so crucial for their growth development .
Hi Chris, long-time viewer of your excellent channel. I tried to find a video on it but no-one has really made one... what does it mean to sit at the halfway point of assessments when doing MBTI? For example, I recently sat on the halfway point of introversion and extraversion, which barely pushed me over from being INTJ into ENTJ. What does this mean in practical terms - how does it manifest in reality?
So, a conclusion i distilled from your talk is that having a little bit of Fe is harder than having none at all. You might be crap at Fe and socialising but if you don't care it's gonna be less of a problem.
I'm an INTJ and I don't find it necessary to adjust my social skills to meet what others may consider the norm. When interaction is necessary, I prefer to be authentic. If someone wants to get to know me, they will encounter the real me. Likewise, I wouldn't expect a feeling type to adjust their interaction style by being more logical to accommodate me. I always prefer people to be exactly who they are. It eliminates pretense and helps people determine those they want to form bonds with. I've never found my approach to be undesirable. I've risen to top exec positions in my field and I think my acceptance of my natural abilities, along with the acceptance of the natural abilities in others, has helped me achieve success. I don't find it necessary to acquire assorted friendships & would much rather connect in a meaningful way (yes, I'd rather be respected than liked). I guess this comment proved many parts of your video. ☺ Ty for the breakdown.
do you not find it maddening when people refuse to see and apply logic?
I think the same way by the way and I am an INFJ, I wonder if those issues are truly only applicable to INTJ and INTP. I might just be the outlier here, I don't know.
I recall that when I was a teen, I hated being the socially awkward INTP as much had nothing in common with my high school pears, and didn’t have all the social charm that all the more extroverted girls had; -but as I got older I began to understand how fortunate I was to be that very rare introverted NT. I could see and solve problems a lot quicker that everyone else, and always had that intense curiosity that the other didn’t have.
I am a INTJ. One thing I noticed that when I was romantically interested in someone, or was attracted to the individual. I kept obsessing about what they thought of me it drove me wild. Another thing I will say is I opened up to these individuals on a level I had not before, and I was betrayed. This really bothered me for a long time. And I eventually let my anger out on them even though it had a major emotional toll on me. Also, I have developed insights on identifying N versus S, and when I see there are a S I generally decide not to open up to them to avoid criticism or betrayal. Which I know is controversial but I do it for my emotional safety. Thank you for also acknowledging that INTJ do indeed have a good sense of humor hehe.
Could you elaborate more on those S vs N insights? I would like to know more on that.
As INTJ, at one pint in my life I noticed that I have trouble with comunnication. I read some books about it, found some info online and I try to practise every time I talk to someone. Recently I got responses that I am nice and fun to talk to [even from people who I have only small talk with]. So everything can be learned [that's a good info!], although it requires patiens. Now my only struggle is to start conversation with someone [but I am training that too, so I hope soon my troubles will come to an end]
Because you may not care about what people think about you, and you may not care about their being at all. UNTILL YOU NEED THEM. Then you can't ignore them and you have to communicate with them. And you have to do it in a nice, epathetic way, otherwise people won't listen to you.
Have you got diagnosed with asd?
I found this to be true for me too very recently, as I'm trying to put this crazy idea out there and I absolutely need to approach it in a different way.
You are definitely right that that the INTP struggles more socially than the INTJ, me being the former being married to the latter.
Tons of insight. Thanks for the video!
But now the struggle is. I know this as an ENTP, who have experienced all this at a much younger age. What you will figure as an intp is that using logic will make you perceived autistic, while using extroverted feeling will make you feel fake, but appreciated! What you will risk is the entp fallacy, wheras lack of appreciation in the theoretical realm makes you deactivate your logic capacity, as they are socially disrewarded for using introverted thinking, and therefore devalue their introverted thinking. This is how you get into the Ne Te Fe Si unbalanced entp subtype, the annoying entp that doesn’t take responsibility for all but si, in its undirected irrational optima forma. Ti for this subtype will be aspirational and will be recognized as part of their identity, but may not be to the untrained eye, my dad also an entp i believe has always regretted not doing economics for instance. He became a lawyer instead, and I haven’t spoken to him in 3 years because family fallout, but it is this that i am trying to figure. How has his irresponsibility been cause and effect within this system
Thanks for the analysis, Chris! Insightful breakdown for how the cognitive functions might influence different flavors of social hang-ups between INTP/J.
Not opening up to others as INTJ causes definite friction for me. Sometimes it is about vulnerability, but often it is because I don’t want others in my business for no reason. If I open up, it is because I need specific information to solve a problem, for example. If there is no purpose for it, I’m not inclined to share. Conservation of energy?
In my experience, I’ve done best socially by seeking environments that don’t require much personal sharing but focus on goal-oriented activities (games, fixing things, mutual interests, developing projects, etc).
Maybe it is common for INTJ to want to do well socially because there are advantages to being liked and/or respected, like securing funding or supporters (I’m speaking in terms of general social skills rather than intimate or close relationships), compared to desiring it as a validation and integration of the shadow, like an INTP. Mastery of an environment/situation (despite people) is where you’ll find INTJ plucking their luggage from the baggage claim. 😏
Neat topic, as always!
Love the combined insights and tips, where a comparison hilights each learning so well.
I totally agree with you Chris, and I love INTPs and especially INTJs. I know they can say what they want around me for it won't hurt me. Being a dominant Ni brother, I also understand where this is coming from. It does help having auxiliary Fe, if we INFJs are around, we could help interpret to others what either of you types are trying to say. It also helps being an intuitive myself to get your philosophical meanings and to get into conversations that sensors won't touch. I think we could help either of your 2 types to be less socially awkward, but I feel that time teaches you that at some point anyway.
You explained it so well. Excellent !
I love the thumbnail.
Really really good work here Chris
wow.. i'm an INTJ and have a close INTP friend and I think this video is brilliant!
definitely true that INTJs would like their ideas to be received as their main social need.
I would say the pressure to emote is not that we don't want to share emotion, it's that there is no emotion to share.
when there is emotion, we'll express it how we feel, usually privately, definitely never on command.
Hi INTJ here, Dude this analysis is mind blowing Bro! thank you!
This is quite accurate for me as a natural friendly driven entj, when I find the tribe to be unsafe for me I have gone into intp shadow. So it's not a pleasant state until someone called it recalibrating and I realized it's my back to the drawing board mode.
For me I get very agoraphobic because I never really learned to be assertive til recently. I also never learned boundaries till now. I think doing a lot of therapy and processing has helped me go back to entj but now I can toggle both fairly well.
I know when I'm going agoraphobic I have been uncomfortable but sometimes don't know why because fi is so low. Anyway yes I have been known to put my foot right snuggly in my mouth lol. It's so funny cuz I honestly don't understand human emotions so I just fail a lot and then decide to avoid people sometimes.
I have an intj friend and I'm now looking forward to the second half of thos video.
Fun fact it's my intj friend who coins my shad type as recalibration. Him saying that helps me get out of it so fast as I stopped being frustrated and started seeing it as necessary. He and my infj friend are my two most important friends because they are so helpful. It's like ni cubed when we all think together if I'm in entj mode. Like I said that's my natural state so ni is my jam.
Finally MBTI content. Thank you for your effort and insights.
Trying to find a balance lol. I don't want to do only mbti content but I know its what a lot of my subscribers...subscribed for.
Can you do this video for infps and infjs? Ive noticed that while still being feeling types; they still can tend to have social problems as well
As an entp, i like to think of the problem like this. The intj feels like he/she is from another country, while the intp feels like he's from another planet. Fi third is annoyingly bratty (given he/she is about 20yo), while Fe fourth in social communication is just hopelessly funny. Like 'game' is not what i associate the intp with. The intp is like a magnet for attracting girls. It is just the wrong end of the magnet. I have an intp friend. hope he gets to read this. It is also funny though, because the intp is the antidote to all my fear of not being accepted. We suck, but they suck harder. then when it comes to academics its a whole different story, but lets not talk about Si shall we.
I'm still not really sure about myself. I don't use facebook, and only social platform i use is mastodon, it's not for 'socializing' but keeping in touch with people that shares similar interests (so i can keep up with tech news/trends/learn something new. A lot of people are interesting and there's always a chance i will learn something new).
I don't consider myself social, but no matter if someone consider self as 'non social' - getting to know others opens up the chance to learn new things.
The feeling of 'sharing' something with other person is liberating. Today, whenever i fix something, deal with problem - whatever ... i make notes, i wasted so many experiences and knowledge. It's not only 'free material' to share, i also can back to certain thing ... remembering everything is impossible.
At this point i stopped 'playing lone wolf'.
u understand me so much - intj 5w4
INTJ: Show some care or others when chit-chatting because many relationships builds out there where is all except bussiness
Great video, as you are spot on about the INT’s social difficulties! I presume you are an INTJ, Chris?
You must be new to the channel?
Could you elaborate on what you mean by 'opening up more through introverted feeling' as an INTJ? I thought that for me, opening up meant needing to connect more with my ESFP subconscious
As an INTP I have better developed Fe so it is possible for them to do this if their is a will there is a way but they need to recognize that this function is going to help them connect with people and to be aware of theirs and others feelings . Doing this they will have meaning and purpose in their life. Allot of INTP'S if their only in their Ti they will become nihilist so developing Fe is so crucial for their growth development .
Hi Chris, long-time viewer of your excellent channel. I tried to find a video on it but no-one has really made one... what does it mean to sit at the halfway point of assessments when doing MBTI?
For example, I recently sat on the halfway point of introversion and extraversion, which barely pushed me over from being INTJ into ENTJ. What does this mean in practical terms - how does it manifest in reality?
Good idea for a video, may discuss it in the near future
Thanks, hope you cover it and looking forward to your thoughts!
So, a conclusion i distilled from your talk is that having a little bit of Fe is harder than having none at all. You might be crap at Fe and socialising but if you don't care it's gonna be less of a problem.
That is the one thing that I have noticed, -that us INTP’s are more sensitive toward rejection, whilst the INTJ more sensitive towards criticism.
Fe vs Te
Well, dang, I DO have the INTP trifecta.
"The world isn't going to end if you open yourself up" prove it, I don't believe you :P
💖
I always argued that INTJs don't care about being liked but like to be recognized. if you are marginal then you are worthless.
I had to watch this in a private browser because UA-cam requires ad tracking cookies to earn its 0.00000001 cent ad revenue lol.
Ok, sensor.
Which means Chris won't get his tenth of that millionth of a cent either, do you feel good about depriving him of his livelihood?!
@@dirtywhitellama Yes.
🧀🧀🧀