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INTJ who is often around INFJs... got a mixture of *lowkey fascination & morbid curiosity* towards their expert manipulative capabilities. *Observing & learning*
"Did they found out that we are secretly manipulating them to do the actual work while we are 'thinking' ?" "Don't worry, they still have no clue" - INTP secret communications
@@boolerina1734 manipulative person : *tries to manipulate the INTP to do something for their interest* INTP : *does nothing* maniplulative person : "how did he know ?" INTP : *completely clueless*
As an INTP, one thing to consider about manipulation is that, in the short term, it's very socially draining; personally, it requires a lot of overt charisma that I just don't have or at least, find it very tiresome. If I am going to be manipulative, I play the long game, using logic and systems to get others to institute my will for me.
Absolutely. I can do it when I’m angry but it’s incredibly draining and I feel like I’m violating my principles by doing it. I will say that when I have done it it has worked spectacularly well.
Well, in my case I thought it was basic education, but it turns out that I was actually being manipulative ... Most of the time I manipulate people without thinking too much, I'm just trying to get something from them by pretending that I'm nice, bad, weak or that I have supernatural powers, but I rarely do it because it's exhausting
... yes i admit it is very taxing for us... 😑 i would rather die than even think abt it again. i tried to control an estp because he was resourceful and had the manipulative power i desired to have. he ended up manipulating me. it wasted a LOT OF MY TIME. 🥲🤧🤧🤧🤧.... i got scammed big time. i wouldn't have gone after that thing if only i knew befors that estps are dangerous. plus they are basically devoid of any moral values. they will make u believe they are innocent but deep down ... they are rotten..bleh i wasted 6 months!!!!
Being an INFJ and already knowing i'll be on the top... It's true, our need for harmony makes us want to keep the peace and everyone feeling ok. The people analysis skill is something that is always switched on, even if we don't want to. It's like you're constantly reading the room and aware of other people's energy. Can be quite draining. But i think we can learn how to control it, instead of letting that skill control us. For that, we need to learn how to be more disagreeable and assertive, which is something i've been personally working on. I think i can now control better what kind of emotions i let in. Ultimately, i think we tend to let other people emotions manipulate us. If we learn how to set our own boundaries, we can learn at least to protect ourselves from the external environment and also to better spot bs talk.
Wanting harmony and being good at understanding people's feelings isn't being manipulative. Being manipulative is actively using other people to get what you want for yourself.
I totally get what you mean. It can be so hard not to get swept away by other people's emotions. I am working on it personally, but I also do my best to keep dramatic people out of my life. Like, it's not only that I often find the drama unnecessary, I also find it kinda offensive of people to be barfing their emotional baggage on others and get really irritated really fast by this kind of behaviour. Real problems, I'm all there to help with whatever the otger needs and I can provide, but drama - no thank you. Luckily, I have gotten pretty good at weeding them out (after falling on my face a few times), and my partner and friends are the opposite of those soul and energy draining drama vampires. (ENTP here btw.)
@@ConvenientlyShapedUsername That is a simplification and lack of self knowledge and knowledge of how the human mind work. As an INFJ I almost always ”play” a role out of the social situation. That is to indirect manipulate people of who I am. To want ”harmony” and to good is not always the same thing.
Well called on INTJ. I'm often consciously aware that I could use certain manipulation tactics to achieve particular outcomes, but principles and conscience generally prevent me from doing so. An INTJ going dark is a much scarier prospect, however. Whether we've gone dark or not, I'd say most of us would consciously use manipulation to take down a villain without remorse.
I know how easy it can be to manipulate most people, and when I was younger I used that. As I've gotten older I make it a point to not manipulate people because it really is a matter of principle. I'd rather have people's honest reactions, input, etc.
I can use my second brain to analyze person’s mindset and motivation. INTJs are often goal oriented so an INTJ might employ manipulation if it benefits the goal and increases efficiency. An INTJ’s alignment is a secondary factor. It also depends on the INTJ’s emotional connection with the chess pieces.
@@C-SD Do you think we're more inclined to manipulate the circumstances surrounding something, rather than manipulate a person? I think of the long play schemes with big pay-offs Lisbeth Salander does in the Dragon Tattoo series. On a less villainous note, I think INTJs often have a tendency to change the environment or circumstances surrounding a problem/person, rather than changing the issue directly.
On a certain point within the Infj spectrum, there are some Infj's who share your exact sentiment. Even though the ever present and overwhelming drive to make our environment harmonious always looms in the forefront, some of us despise the thought of manipulating others just to make ourselves more comfortable. I've observed that other Infj who think this way are much more self aware.
I agree. INTJ mom here who is trying to use my eye for manipulation to teach my kids how to spot manipulative tactics to avoid being manipulated themselves. I’ve seen relatives and others try to manipulate them. It’s gross and pathetic.
I realized that I can get info about something specifically from someone if I listen to them and make them feel emotionally comfortable. It also helps being vulnerable myself, since if people sense you're sharing personal feelings (vaguely), they'll grow a sense of safety with you and will start sharing their own vulnerability. But I never realized I did this until now lol. I rarely do it on purpose, is just mostly out of curiosity of the other. -INFP.
I notice this in my infp mother. Asks me to do things for her all the time for the sake of her maintaining comfort, to a bit of an overbearing degree. Then feels guilty if I express discomfort, so I dont. She knows sharing her emotions inclines me to get her what she wants, so I resent her behavior but never communicate it. I guess I myself manipulate her into believing it’s okay in that regard cuz sharing emotions hard. Anyways sorry for ranting, I dont rly have anyplace else to say this kinda stuff. You infps stay cool, coming from an enfp ✌️
And true for the INTP, I was sort of taken aback (and a bit disgusted) that manipulation works that well when trying it out after reading some psychological studies (just an experiment, no one was harmed). Never did it again....
I'm an INTJ and had the same experience... I'm disgusted of it as well, to the point that I stop respecting people when I notice that they're frequently manipulative
@@GhostCatFromHell People who try to manipulate me... well, I usually notice such behaviour from the beginning, but yes, it annoys me quite a bit too. It's sort of like an insult to even try, as if saying: You are dumb enough, so I can do that. So in consequence, same as you, I just discard them and lose respect. They didn't respect me either after all. Always best to get rid of such bothersome individuals.
@@NocturnalCachalot Yes! It's the same for me. I'm able to notice manipulative behavior and it feels like an insult and lack of respect, exactly like you said. But even when it isn't related to me, I lose respect and avoid being near the manipulator. That's one of the reasons why I don't understand why some people let themselves be manipulated.
@@GhostCatFromHell I came to the conclusion, after watching such behaviours for a while that people who let themselves be manipulated are either sort of preconditioned to react that way (as in bad upbringing and toxic family life, constant gaslighting etc.) or they really notice it late and may end up being conditioned later to react positively towards manipulative behaviour. The human mind can sadly be trained after all, and to gullible or uneducated people that is quite a dangerous factor.
INFJ speaking again, I would love for you to do a "RAGE" video. This video reminded me of how I can manipulate as a tool but when I've had enough of catering to everyones BS, I tend to go nuclear (but it takes awhile to get there). Would love to see a video on how fast and large a blow up from the personalities would be! PLEASEEEEE :)
@@spring7643 in my experience and from what i have heard, INFJ are more likely to be vulnerable narcissists with a moral superiority complex, and when those bad INFJs feel personally attacked (wich can happen quite often!) the ensuing "narcissistic rage" gets brutal. In terms of mental trouble like cluster-B, i definently think that MBTI is valid in terms of collecting the dots in terms of tendencies, and by extension the likelyhood of bad anger management to say the least.
We INFJs can manipulate without even realizing it sometimes. It’s about getting what we want with the way we behave so you are absolutely correct. We observe what ticks and know how to get through people. It’s just a matter of watch and adjust, didn’t work move to the next step. Until it works. It’s creepy I know lol
I kinda relate as an unhealthy enfp. I want to appear mentally well so I focus on those around me to figure out what a healthy person looks like in their eyes, and act accordingly. I’m always out of my element as it’s against the better judgement of my underdeveloped fi begging to quit being a people pleaser and express myself. But it gets me by. That’s infj shadow for ya I guess. Sry if this was tmi
How would you convince three people to kill each other in triangle position (they all must die). Would you go with one kills two and shots himself scenario, or three of them pull the trigger simultaneously? The weapon is sawed off shotgun with one bullet in it.
@@maxstewart9883: Oh, don’t you worry. Describing yourself to us in great detail is basically feeding us. We much prefer hearing other people vs analyzing ourselves…..mostly because we already did that earlier and we are exhausted by it or hate what we found. Anxiety. Gotta love it!
The Fe/Ni combination literally can't help but understand people. When you understand people and want harmony, it's hard to resist the pull to try to make that happen, especially when you have the gift of influence. Is it always manipulation? It really does depend on one's motivation.
I think that's partly why ENFJs specifically get such a bad wrap. Not only do we desire harmony and have a deep understanding of people's wants, needs, and emotions, but we're very vocal about it (Fe). What people tend to have a problem with is our Ni because we have these skills and use them, but we don't talk much about what we do with this knowledge since that's an introverted function. Instead we instinctively skip to using it in an Se context like a social situation. I'll fully admit to manipulating people, but 99.9% of the time it's to make people happier or diffuse an uncomfortable situation. Some people feel a deep distrust for that process and I can understand why, ENFJs who's hearts aren't in the right place can be absolutely brutal with their manipulation. It's just a shame that we've been given such a bad name for it :( I care
Entp here. I feel like you understand us way better than some other creators on UA-cam. They often portray our debate as angry, and convinced, but we mostly do not care and we only hurt people on accident, because the other person has made strong emotional judgements.
I've just seen a post listing the types according to cruelty and ENTP landed second because _according to them_ they want to help people but they use manipulation to do so, they are sympathetic but not empathetic... and many more things about Fi trickster and Ti parent. I was like dude we aren't cruel, cruelty isn't objective in the first place and they were like if you view cruelty as a subjective manner then you're cruel yourself.... I've been questioning that and while others view me as cruel sometimes i don't consider myself to be cruel so i questioned me being an ENTP. The devil advocate... The Joker... The debater... It doesn't bother me usually, actually it's a joke for me most of the time but this time they took my joking comment very seriously and i hate it when people take my jokes seriously so it ended up in a debate and believe it or not i hate debates..... So yeah people don't wanna acknowledge that we are normal people with normal feelings and not manipulative debating bast**ds for some odd reason
As an INTP who gets into more debates online than is good for them, exactly this. I could use what I know to hurt but don't do so on purpose except when it is absolutely the best play. My main goal isn't to hurt anyone but instead to elevate the conversation and help those that view the debate from the outside. I may not deal the best with feeling in general, but I know that others find them important.
Most people argue about subjects they have a significant amount of emotional attachment to. Us ENTPs are not this way, we argue simply for the sake of truth. I think this combined with the fact that people in general tend to remember the pain that they got instead of why they got it.. Make us out to be an arrogant douce or something When convinced of a premise that they are dealing with evil, people are capable of the greatest cruelties known to man, and who better to convince them this than themselves?
I gotta say, ENTP's are amazing wonderful people. You all are brilliant, driven, and incredibly fun/funny to be around. People that can't handle ENTP's or that attack your type have never really hung out with or encountered ENTP's in general. I adore the ENTP in my life, he's funny and a good time to be around. Typically he actually steps back from debates because people get too upset/he'll say something and accidentally step on toes or feelings then just feel awful about it. I can usually have a conversation with him about some stuff but there's buttons we won't even push with eachother because we both agree debates suck. Lol People really should look deeper when they see ENTP's, ya;ll are pretty complex and lovely people.
If this video is not a manipulation itself, I don't know what manipulation is. Give the INTPs more credit lol ~An INFJ who got offended before watching the video knowing very well where we will rank.
damn same here, I burst out laughing when I saw that he placed the INFJ from the middle to the end of the row two times ( at 9:12 and 10:00) because he knew damn well that he would have to save them for the end LMAO
As an INFJ the real frustrating part is when you know someone is trying to manipulate you and you have to counter that manipulation by withholding information from them and often those close to you. Which in turn makes everyone do 1 of 3 things. 1) they think you're hiding something (we are but it's with good reason) and now feel complete distant from you. 2) friends think we're paranoid or rude towards the manipulatior and will ask why you don't like someone, who's "tricks" haven't been made clear to the group, for what seems like "no reason at all". 3) the manipulator becomes violent towards you in some way for not giving them what they want and will somehow turn you into the villain of their story.
Personally I find that acting oblivious to their manipulation works best. And wait until they reveal themselves. Also never do anything “bad” in a principle sense. Specially lying. That way you have no way of pointing fingers at you.
@@alyseh9539 oh I didn't realise, yeah my sisters are INFJ and they are natural manipulators. I don't know if they get manipulated or not but even if they do they would be aware of it.. I am an intp. Maybe people around you are probably more manipulative than you.. jk idk shit
@@IramZakir I'm not offended I just wanted to clarify to make sure I was on the same page as you. INFJs do at times get labeled more so as puppeteers than manipulators. It comes from our intuitive nature that allows us to anticipate what will happen next. Just like anything else there's a good and bad to this sort of thing. I personally notice that I put this skill to a positive use because I'm a stage manager, actors have a tendency to wander, not listen, not read their emails and lie. Once I know what kind of cast I have I'm able to say and do what I need to to know where every actor and crew member is and what they're doing without being next to them. In the real world I've gotten people together, I've gotten people to change their opinions, even to do things for me but not really through malice. It's more like allowing people to either dig their own hole or believe it's their idea. Sometimes I don't realize I'm doing it others time it's on purpose and I found that when I try to force it things don't go well. I'm not sure about your own situation with your sisters age plays a factor no matter what your personality type is, obviously. All I can say is, if you haven't yet, talk to them tell them how you feel and times that they've done things that have made you feel like they had other motives. INFJs mature ones will listen because our goal is to better understand people and they may not realize what they're doing. We also need the criticism we don't always like it but we do reflect on it deeply. I hope this helps and I have met quite a few people who were true manipulators some were even family members which is why I can spot a gaslighter from a mile away. (Another thought is that they might not actually be INFJs)
As an INFP I think we should be placed in the sometimes category. I really don't try to manipulate people as the very few times I done it I felt gross and immoral but I was still able to do it with some success. I can easily see it being done in a more defensive matter rather than doing it for personal gain.
The sometimes to an INFP is probably objectively rare still though. INFPs, healthy ones that is, would only resort to doing so either subconsciously or as a defense mechanism. That's not to say that we can't get it done successfully. In fact, unless the other party is all about hard logic & little else, or insanely good at manipulation themselves, our success rate at pulling it off is actually quite high, if the whole thing doesn't feel so uncomfortable that we botch it at our own will.
sorry i think i agree with us infp in rarely category.. because despite we do have the abilities to manipulate.. most of infp dont want to .. and thats good..
I think INTP can be most manipulative if they want to. Still, they seldom do. But when they do, it's absolutely on point. This video is a pinnacle of that concept. Based on my observations, obviously.
yes.. true... i did manipulate some people and destroyed them completely but i don do those often. i dont do these disgusting things unless im provoked. plus i did lose in that manipulation field to an estp. so ...... im not doing something im not the best at again.
It's refreshing to hear someone validate manipulations as not at all negative. Yeah that epiphany I had when I incidentally use manipulation for myself and unconsciously manipulating for good of people. That sums up good manipulations but more towards redirect them to take that path by themselves. It's just a hint. A choice of wills. A suggestion if you wish to call it positively.
@@potatowarrior747 No, manipulation is just a tool. And it could be used for the better good or in defense to bad people who use it for bad. It’s like a gun, sure it’s immoral to use it unjustly but it’s a necessary tool to defend yourself if your opponent have it.
Manipulation from INFPs generally seems very indirect or mostly subconscious. Non INFPs can learn a lot about emotional manipulation from us because of our multi-dimensional way of feeling our world. However, deliberate manipulation will most likely backfire for INFPs! ~INFP
Yes! I am an INFP as well and I get what you are saying. When we deliberately manipulate, because of dominant Introverted Feeling, we feel so so bad and uneasy!
Unless the Te side has gotten so strong that the INFP in question could effectively suppress their emotions to make use of such gifts without any of the negative emotional feedback from the attempt hitting them, in itself a sure sign of said INFP has become unhealthy, willful, deliberate manipulation would almost always cause so much pain & discomfort that said INFP would end up sabotaging their own attempt at it.
@@FalconWindblader absolutely right! Just to keep off such horrible and uneasy feeling we try our best not to indulge in manipulation or activities that cause us emotional pain and discomfort! (On a side note, I really would love to improve my Te to accomplish/complete the many number of tasks that I start or plan! 😀)
@@QuotesArticles On a side note, I really would love to improve my Te to accomplish/complete the many number of tasks that I start or plan! As far as INFPs go, don't we all?
I think you have the best understanding of INTJs out of the personality typing UA-camrs that I've listened to. Most people seem to forget that we do have deeply held values and principles that we stick to. For me, they are engrained in my life goals, so there rarely comes a point where there is even a contention between my plans and my morals. There will be no need to sacrifice one for the other, because they are intertwined. Not because I haven't considered the outcomes of what my plans would bring about, but because I have.
I will resort to manipulation if I really have to, and I will probably be exquisite at that. however, manipulation isn't efficient in the long run, it is too petty and energy consuming for my goals (even when I don't have them, or maybe especially when I don'thave them). I have a "take it or leave it" attitude, which is off putting for 99% of people, but I guess that's the goal - trash taking itself out.
Other types also wrote he had the best understanding of these. I think it is because, he, as an INTP, has the ability to asses known persons and their type, knew their strengths and weaknesses in addition to his knowledge about MBTI and come to an relatively objective conclusion how to order them (not to say manipulate them).
Manipulation, especially the negative kind, is way to SHORT-sighted, tooo short-termed. Thus, true Intjs really don’t resort to these negative schemes, since in the long- term, they are actually counter-productive than beneficial. Principled Intjs rather persuade and convince humans with facts, truth, reason and logic, rather than try to manipulate with charm, empty promises or plain lies.
INTP here, it wasn't that recently I studied some manipulating techniques. At first i was like "Nah this wouldn't work on people.... would it?" So I tried some manipulating tricks towards my friends, and holy sh*t it worked I was amazed how you can easily control people like that, but I felt really bad after doing it and disgusted for the fact that other people would do this to another human being. Rn, I'm only using this extra knowledge in case someone would try and manipulate me
@@Magani79 nah. just bad people would learn about it and use it in bad ways or for bad purposes, it would not be great to leave them such an opportunity
ENTP here. Thanks for breaking down the wall of stereotypes of us being "mean" and argumentative. Fe 3rd slot can really makes us absorb the emotional atmosphere and adjust to it playfully.
An ENTP I know gets easily absorbed in the Fe atmosphere and has a hard time when the atmosphere of the group is "bad". ENTPs want people to have a good experience. I try to softly point out that bad emotions are normal and necessary as impetus for change. As an INTJ I recognize what a driving force an upset Fi can be. ENTPs are not mean nor argumentative in my view. They simply see many perspectives at once, which is wonderful for problem solving. As an Ni dom I simply see the path forward and the ENTPs Ne-Ti helps so much to problem solve to get there. I smile and nod a lot at ENTPs Ti-Si loops ("we need every step to be thought out in the most detailed way possible leaving no room for logical errors!") Because my Te-Se wants to say "who cares, let's just slap something good enough together and put it out there for people to use. If it glitches we'll fix it!" lol I'm sure as an ENTP you just cringed at the thought. We kinda find a happy middle where things have to work good enough. I let the ENTP be responsible for the logic, I feel more responsible for it working. it's an interesting and enjoyable working relationship. 😆
My ENFP sister is one of the most manipulative people I've ever known in ways good and bad. She knows exactly how and what to do and say to get what she wants. INFJs have a reputation for manipulation for some reason, but I actively avoid manipulating other people and all the INFJs I know hate manipulating others.
@@atmodleeNooo… because Fi =/ objective morals or heck even authenticity (though it could be a manifestation of Fi) it means, ones personal feelings. Basically if an XNFP wants something, they could do anything to get it. Literally the most manipulative people I know are XNFPs. I notice that XNFJs would manipulate people for the the person’s best interest but xnfp manipulation is usually self interested.
@@atmodlee INFJs generally would not manipulate. They hold themselves to their own very high standard of being good person and can be drowned in guilt if they've done anything wrong. But if they are exploited, or wronged making lose their sense of defence or when they come from a background with family who were toxic and didn't provide them good lessons, then in that INFJs are very jaded, paranoid and aggressive. Which is why they tend to be highly manipulative. But even in that case, alot of variations will be there. Although, it's easy to point out the immature INFJs... Since they would be messing up everything they are doing to get what they want, which makes them look like fool.
@@KT-lt4fy manipulating people for people's own benefit is usually called good guidance or influence, not manipulation since manipulating requires self interest/personal benefits or gains. But if they lie to people for people's best interest... Then idk.. it could be manipulation too
As an ENTJ it is definitely a my way or the high way kind of attitude. You would have to have something pretty important for me to make an effort to manipulate. With that being said I am genuinely interested in friends and co-workers and don't need to manipulate because most people have my back to begin with.
The last time I used manipulation was to kick out a classmate from our work group. She literally did nothing for any group project for over a year and I wanted her gone. So I said: “what if each of us put our own name on the docs?”, since she never showed up, she never did it and she was officially kicked out (no one really wanted her in our group anyway, all of us were super done with her). It felt great once she was gone. My ENFJ friend felt bad, to which I answered: I don’t. -INTJ
@@spring7643 it was online school and we had to form the groups, it wasn’t my choice to put her in. And as for kicking her out, the professor was ok with it, but since none of us wanted to tell her that she had to do an entire month’s work in a week, he was disappointed on us (he told her in the end)
Is that really manipulation? I look at it as justice. She didn't do the work, so it was ultimately her fault. -INFP that can't stand people who mooch off of other people. It's unfair for her to get the same grade as everyone else when she didn't do the work. You dispensed justice not manipulation in my opinion.
As an ISTP i have read alot about manipulation and psychology in general. I use my knowlegde defensively only, and to help people (that i like) out of difficult situations like abusive relationships. Whats holding me back from manipulating others, is that i find most people annoying and incompotent, so i would rather do allmost everything my self or with the help of my few close friends (if its an area of theirs expertise). I also have little need for attention, so i dont manipulate for attention like many manipulators tend to do. Manipulation is gennerally for losers, and should only be used offensively against mediocre bad people.
ISTPs are the type I admire most, so take this with a grain of salt. But this a difficult one for me. I wouldn't say ISTPs are manipulative but they can be extremely insidious (even if they don't mean to be). Think about how easy it is to have control over someone or achieve a beneficial outcome through: - The Silent Treatment - Slowly taking on work and responibilities that weed people out - Correcting people's mistakes mainly through actions (sometimes words) that make others doubt themselves and their abilties. So, Intentionally Manipulative..no. Insidious by nature/default... possibly?
@@lulukrassova2196 ISTPs are not for the faint of heart, but also the most geneuely kind people out there in terms of making an actual meaningfull positive difference in people-(they care about)s life. If one goes to r/ISTP subreddit there is a ton of ISTP appriciation posts there. I would say that ISTPs are only "insidious" to people that genuinely expects to only be comforted into self improvement, and towards people (primarely annoying feeling extroverts) that pisses them off. Bonus info: Everyone who have grown up with a cat, would likely have a far easyer time to "handle" an ISTP
@@kaspervendler1726 Love this, yes indeed. My husband was an ISTP and I loved him so much. But he had some insidious moments (at work at times) but for the most part he was a role model and helped people who worked hard. To be honest he mostly only light-heartedly made fun of annoying Fe types and they loved him and looked up to him. The silent treatment was probably his worst trait but I am an INTP so that was something we both were guilty of. We both loved our space but we also felt neglected by eachother at times, that was usually easy to resolve because there was an implicit understading in that regard.
@@АндрейОливер-з2е Lol I’ve “punished” by an unhealthy ISTP before. He read 4 years worth of dms between me and my best friend who he developed an emotional dependency on 3 months into their friendship, who was uncomfortable with the dependency but didnt know how to express it outside of telling me. He got her account after saving her password she trusted him not to use when he was helping her w something, and grilled us for not being “honest” with him. He played victim despite us already tolerating the many boundaries he crossed up till then, and he eventually cut all his friends out of his life over the debacle out of self contempt and cant seem to move on to this day.
I'm in love with your INTJ analysis. If you ever wrote a book on them, I would be more than willing to buy it rather than some random merch. Please do consider any more form of media coverage on them coz I think a lot of us would be willing to understand ourselves better with your content. -I am sure other types would agree too but understand my bias towards getting content for my own type xD- Also holy shit you described the aspect of manipulation so well. Most people dislike the idea of being called manipulative because of its popular negative connotations.
@@silverrain530 yeah that's also understandable. Just tried to highlight to the team that there are penny pinchers like me who want value for money purchase over random mugs or t-shirts. I guess they sell but they never appealed to me as I don't like flaunting around my MBTI letters.
ENFP here. So true. I know I could manipulate people, but at the same time, as my thought and goal changes, I know it could be bad for myself. Also, personally find it kinda mean either way haha
Nathan, you are spot on! As an INFJ, it is my dark super power. I can very easily manipulate others - typically for the good of the relationship. I do agree, that it is difficult to turn off - if it is possible. We become excellent mirrors and actors in this world, often coming up empty when asked to describe who we are and what we feel.
As an INTP I usually find out what people take pride in and then when I need some help or need something done I’ll set the conditions just right so they’ll want to help and feed their pride.
@@gretagrotto5858 well I never actually ask them for help. I just manipulate them so they feel like they want to help and feel good about themselves without realizing I manipulated them.
@@BimmerWon The problem is I'm usually info gathering so I can't easily be manipulated to do something to 'feel good' since nothing beats what I"m doing solo. However, the INTJ tries to make it my business by saying I'll gain some knowledge that I'm likely to use soon. Then the issue is whether that bit of knowledge can wait in line, which is when he gets upset, attempts to manipulate more overtly, and calls me stubborn. But I do understand how you go about it as I have done the same, although more for them (they like to feel needed) than myself. I tend to prefer to do things independently.
I am am INFJ and my closest sister is an ENFJ. We get along better than any other sibling (6 of us total) out of the family. I can definitely say that the skills you mentioned on my end, an INFJ, is extremely accurate. I wasn't aware of it as much until I realize I could gain the approval of those who are typically hard to earn it from. But the thing is, is over time, if I had a boss or a coworker that I could tell didn't like me too well (or atleast misunderstood me) I was always able to change how they interacted with me later on, in a positive way. A lot of it is communication tho, because I feel like we have a gift of communicating, and being able to get our points across in a non-aggressive manner without offending others- which is a part of the "manipulation." You could be saying something that most people wouldn't want to be hearing, but make it not seem so negative. Also it is done on accident a lot of the time, but I personally use it in good ways. I can also just tell how to talk to certain people differently, which is a part of our intuition I guess. But I especially realized I was awesome at using these skills once I began utilizing ABA Therapy at a Behavior Clinic for children.
I'm glad you put Fi doms in "rarely". I've been pretty turned off by people's disdain for Fi users on Quora, and ISFPs (my type) are often seen as disloyal, flirtatious, and manipulative users. People run into unhealthy versions of a type and then categorize everyone with those flaws as "that type". In reality I can never pass a lie without it being noticed lol, and I rarely ever try. Looking back on me and my older brother as kids, whenever we didn't get what we wanted we took in in very different ways. My mom is a reasonable person, so when my brother would kindly persuade her to his POV it would often work. I on the other hand would just give up immediately and whine which never worked xD. Btw he tested as ENFJ but immediately refuted that profile and decided he was more like the INTJ profile instead. Personally I would say he's closest to ENTP (judging by his preferred cognitive functions) .
@@adarshsingh1745 I'm not happy about it though...? I told about my brother to show how persuasion/social manipulation is a skill I admire but don't have. I do find it funny that I'm naturally bad at it though, and I wanted to prove by my testimony how people's idea of ISFPs naturally being able to manipulate others doesn't hold water. Edit: Also I dislike the word "manipulation" in this scenario since it has such a negative connotation. I realize what Nathan is referring to by "manipulation" is being able to influence, persuade, and charm others rather than controlling or exploiting them.
Being an INFP I relate with what you say. Lots of people on Quora tend to see Fi as the ultimate selfish function, and I guess it can be when you bump into an unhealthy user. Fi it's about introspection, about personal (not external) feelings. An unhealthy Fi user might use it to get what they personally want, ignoring the needs of the rest of the group simply because theirs are being fulfilled. On the other hand, a healthy Fi user instead of ignoring someone else's feelings and needs in favour of their own, they can use it to actually empathize with this person via "I understand what you feel/ your predicamend because I have felt the same way before or gone through something similar". So, honestly, don't pay attention to people on Quora. Sometimes it feels like they love to hate certain types, or certain characteristics. By the way, I am not a native english speaker, so I apologise for any orthography or grammar mistake I might have done😅
And, honestly, some of the kindest, most charming and adaptable people I have known are ISFPs. Sometimes I mistake them for extroverts at first. Don't let some people on Quora that like to jump into conclusions let you down:)
The internet hates Sensors in general, so it's no surprise that they get ISFP dead wrong more often than not. I think the only people who understand ISFPs are either INFPs, ISTPs, INTJs, or ESFPs. Even the much ballyhooed INFJ doesn't get us at all. Fe users often try to accuse of being 'selfish', because we don't give in to their demands for emotional fulfillment. They can't process the idea that we are not obligated to share our emotional nature with them, and their demands for that sharing are intrusive.
INFP here. I dont normally comment on these but in this case, you struck a chord with me so here I am. I've discovered through 23 years of existance, I'm extremely empathetic and understanding enough(too empathetic tbh) to have an extremely good grasp at others thoughts and opinions to the point where I start predicting what sentence they'll say next with scary accuracy. In terms of manipulation, I'm aware of my ability and potential of it, however my moral compass prevents me from using it in any other means than constructive cause any Ill intention I have will never be enacted on unless I feel justification.(personal example, being cheated on lol) I find myself moreso manipulating myself than I am with others anyways since I'm more hellbent on trying to understand people, especially as a "Mediator". Overflowing with empathy is a very handy ability to have but it also has its faults at times just as you said "They adjust themselves and in some cases, they are so good at doing it, it goes unnoticed and that's a scary" which stood out to me cause I never really gave it much thought at that angle but it makes sense since I'm constantly feeling this sense of disconnect and a lack of understanding from my peers. Now you've given me another layer and angle to look at myself with and now I'm going to spend the rest of my day thinking about this rent free in my head haha
As someone who has done their best to ensure they're actually an INFJ, I agree that it is almost automatic for us to be social chameleons. However I also think that if our social meters have been exhausted or if we are particularly emotional, our ability to do this is severely compromised and so there are moments when it does turn off and we lose control of how we respond, although perhaps not by choice
This is hilarious. Such an INTJ thing to say. "Manipulation is the best way to get something accomplished. What's so bad about that?" Then you've got the I/ENFJs squirming and hoping everyone doesn't hate us for manipulating them. 😆 ~ENFJ
Yeah I was pretty surprised that he said INTJs would be too principled to do it. I'm probably using a broader definition of manipulation than Nathan, but I'm sure any real INTJ is a constant manipulator in the sense that they know how to get the result they want from others ( the right time and the right way to ask for something, for example).
@Liz no real disagreement here except on terms. I would also find it distasteful to deliberately manouevre people in a way they wouldn't like if they were conscious of, especially if done deceitfully. But I think the art of people management can also be classified as manipulation. Nathan ranked the Fe types as good manipulators. I think Ni-Te can be just as effective as Fe when you learn how to use it
Making a request is fair, but accepting the rejection of the request is the issue I've had with INTJ. Let it go and find someone else who wants to do it. (INTP)
@@gunsbulletsheroin Never. It's possibly due to my growing up with a narcissistic mother but I am adamantly opposed to manipulating anyone for any reason. I would rather lose out on something than win by those means, 100% of the time. When I find myself in possession of knowledge or understanding that the other party doesn't have that may change the outcome to my detriment if they realize it I will STILL inform them. I'd rather have a no than an ill-informed yes. It would be a wrongness. Are you an INTJ?
You're absolutely right about INFPs and ISFPs. I'll share why, at least from my INFP perspective, I believe we're so unlikely to want to manipulate or to be any good at it, despite seemingly having the right skillset. We are indeed uniquely good at imagining what it would be like to be someone else and how it would feel to experience things we've never experienced. We're generally really interested in that as well; we spend a lot of time thinking about it. This is why, as you say, IxFPs often really like acting and can be brilliant actors; we can definitely convincingly pretend to be someone else and trick people into believing it's real. However, the difference between doing this in the context of acting and doing it in real life to manipulate people is that acting is based on a mutual recognition between the actor and the audience that the actor is faking. In this way, it's not inauthentic; the audience knows they're being tricked into believing you feel something you don't. However, in our genuine interactions with people, we can't invoke this skill because it would clash with our deep desire to be authentic and sincere. There's nothing that makes me feel more rotten inside than tricking people or lying to them. Because of this, I'm a terrible liar; I can only pretend well when the other person knows I'm pretending. IxFPs will certainly defend their values and may try to persuade others to see things their way, but they're much more likely to do this in an up-front, sincere manner, in a situation where the other person is fully aware that an argument is being put to them and that they can ultimately choose to accept or reject it, rather than manipulating that person into agreeing. Ultimately, if people reject our values, that's fine, as long as they respect our right to have them; we rarely feel the desire to manipulate due to our general 'live and let live' mentality.
@Jay Bee ohh.. I understand. It's really not a good thing. It's good that you're not anymore... And it's Okay y'know, you realised it and improved. That's what matters. I just hope you don't drown in guilt and shame yourself for it. When I was younger, I used to be like that alot and for every little mistake... Sometimes, even now.. But I'm working on that. So I hope you could forgive yourself too. Cuz remember, we can be guilty but should not be hated. Have a great day! :) ~INFJ
As an INFP, I'm very aware of the ability to persuade, manipulate or coerce others. For me, it's easy to do and makes me uncomfortable that I can. I don't like the thought of it and go out of my way to suppress that urge. What's really difficult is that it's a natural instinct. On the flip side, the reason I can do this is because I can see through others eyes. It hurts me as much as it hurts them if it's for ulterior reasons. I do find that I manipulate naturally if it's to bring harmony overall.
_ENFJ gets ready to get called out._ I half-expected Nathan to pause at 3:20 and say 'I want the ENFJs to stick around a bit longer so let's put this off.'
I am an INFJ... I recently got out of a friendship with a very manipulative (too faced level) ENFJ... I remmber telling her at the start of our friendship that I can read & analyze people very easily unless they are good at manipulating people... It took me no time at all to see & predict every action of hers, her motives & reasons, her lack of confiedence & self love, her love of victimizing herself & making me feel alot of guilt if I did sth wrong towards her, even when I apologize, I know she doesn't have to accept my apology, but humans love someone who can give them a chance... she would not apologize for the wrong things she did towards me though... she would make a bunch of excuses & justify her actions & again victimize herself... eventually I was fed up & just ended things... I do believe she was a narcissit, I just dont know if I can judge her like that... I keep thinking maybe it's just bc her personality type & I could not understand what she wanted... but I thank god everyday we are no longer friends, it was exhausting. 🥲💔
@@ash.alnasseri I feel you, friendship with an enfj, told them I can tell when anyone is lying to me. Took a couple months and they devolved into their old ways of lying and manipulating. Like sorry everyone will know who you truly are now.
xNFJ: "Sorry I can't help it! My strong Fe and Ni make me naturally excel at this whole manipulation game." ISxx: "Manipulation? Hell naw, we ain't got time for that! ...Okay, maybe ISFJ got time for it *occasionally..."* INFP: "I could so easily do it, but I don't have the heart to do something so cruel."
I have an infp friend, and she is always throwing sad or disdain expresions/reactions at me when i don't react in the way she wants or put myself in her side when she tells me something for exemple "you ignore me, you ignore my photos", i try not to react to those expressions, thou, because i have a quite volatile strong character, and she knows it, and she loves to make me angry. i don't know why i'm still her friend. she's not a bad person, thou, she's a good friend, but i'm starting to get tired. -infj.
I came up with a really great MBTI app as well. It's called You're Not My Type. It perfectly matches you with your least compatible counterpart. It's not doing well. I've actually survived two assassination attempts. Probably because I started with istp's in my matching algorithms.
I think, as an ISFJ myself, you are correct. Our ability to manipulate is so subtle but I think we rarely often do it because there really is no use for it. If you notice an ISFJ being openly manipulative, they are probably unhealthy lmao. I used to do this back in high school to manipulate what people thought of me so they didn't think I was a mess and that backfired so significantly that I still feel shame to this day. Now, I'm just a tired 28 year old who will just tell you what I want or what I want to happen so I can avoid drama and misinterpretations all together lmao
Spot on for this ISTP. I absolutely detest emotional manipulation, and see it as incredibly selfish behavior. Without hesitation I will call it out every time. Of course many consider my bluntness as incredibly selfish and inconsiderate, so I guess we're all a-holes. I can accept that.
ESTJs see it the same, my dads an ISTP and were are a like in that way it seems. ESTJ would probably say "its weak to have to manipulate, say what you really mean honestly with no fear."
INTJ here, I agree with the assessment. I don't know how much it applies to others, but I think that for us it's a mismatch in motivation and ability. We can put pragmatic solutions and being efficient over morals and social norms, but this not only motivates us to use manipulation but also hinders us. It's a pain to constantly take care of what others think of you, all the social obligations, etc. We might be too disinterested in the other person's interests, or simply unable to understand them, which is obviously a problem if you want to manipulate someone...
I am an ENFJ and i knew we were going to be up there lol... with dominant Fe I knew we are said to be good at "reading the room" which is true, but I think that more than anything we are directly influenced by how people around us feel, there isn't much reading involved as much is it is just feeling automatic what others feel, and naturally, if that was a negative emotion we're gonna want to change that to make others feel better but that also directly makes us feel better, and since we have a good sense of what others are feeling we are again not rlly trying to put ourselves in their shoes, we are already in them lol, so when we are going abt our day to day lives changing the way others feel its just how we go abt things, and Ni comes in greatly as well in breaking things down to smaller points and conclusions that make through observing others and then it rlly comes in handy because we can apply what we learned in one situation onto the other through connecting them both to that same point... anyways I've seen fellow ENFJs use this for more selfish reasons (to make others like them and get ahead of others in a but more "evil" way) but I've also seen ENFJs use it for good, so how u use ot is up to the person but we definitely all do it lol.... thanks for listening to my TedTalk edit: but also yes I completely agree that we don;t rlly like playing games and such, anything that feels disingenuous like acting like ur not interested or acting like u like someone etc.. to get something out of them feels so wrong to me, and ultimately the way I think abt it is that I want to make relationships work and my Ni tells me a relationship of any kind that starts with a lie won't end up so well...
ENTP here (before mistyped as INTP) and oh yah, people take all i said personally when isnt even intentional, I just like to challenge people, but not to give them nightmares (maybe, lol) even tho, Im very good dealing with people, they said "I thought you were mean, you know, is what they said about ENTPs"
Enfj here with two Infj friends. They do manipulate on a regular, sometimes they seem to not be aware of it. When they do it to me, I either just play dumb and let it happen or I get really annoyed and tell them to just be honest, because it can really be about the simpliest of things.
Truth. In my experience - and my mother is an INFJ, we are very close - INFJs really don't like to own how power-centric they are. It's the combination of secondary (wielded, not foremost) Fe and inferior Se. - another ENFJ
Yoooo INFJ here I realized this only just now, I am high key manipulative but only use it for benefit to myself without hurting others. I feel like I'm literally on everyone's good side, including people I don't even like, for some reason and get what I want most of the time. 😳 I don't always do it consciously ~ but yes analysing people, what they like what they dislike what interests them and what they value, how they speak... just everything. I've heard the most contrasting descriptions of me~ they don't know who I am. I can make good first impressions, radiate the same energy. Everyone sees me as someone different, unfortunately, so there is some good and bad as it doesn't always align with my values and who I am inside, but somehow make my multiple faces sort of natural. I even get confused sometimes... my close friends think I am a pushover sometimes or that I am submissive, but I always get what I want from them, so I mean.... 😂 I'll have my laugh and let them think whatever.
Thank you for putting INTJ in sometimes. I'm sick and tired of the toxic stereotype. Being manipulative is draining and I hate doing it. Worse if you have to do it and it doesn't work out as planned.😖
Wow all the explanations and rankings are spot on! Glad to know I also guessed correctly on most of these tho :) Although I totally didnt expect INTP and ESTP to be that high, I didnt think they would be able to manipulate people to that extent!! Also didnt think ESTJ and ENTJ to be that low, I dont know the types that much but I thought they would try to control those around them more often to finish work faster and be more productive but I guess its not as often as I thought. Anyways I can very much agree with the INFJ being highly likely to manipulate since I know myself how manipulative I can be (Without fail even) that it makes me really guilty sometimes. Because of how observant I am with people, sometimes its quite easy to see a pattern as to how people will react and what theyll be doing next in certain situations- Back then I used to take advantage of this and stir conversations to my favor (since thats when I usually "manipulate" people). Its amazes me every time how people actually end up doing what I wanted every single time! It felt amazing. Although at the back of my head I knew that was I was doing was extremely wrong and manipulative that I really had to stop. And I did, although none of them were harmful or aggressive I still think about how satisfying the times I have manipulated people so easily... (still wrong tho)
I swear by this. Once again, Nathan, I am compelled to applaud your capability to understand a type as complex as an INTJ, because I have never in my life seen a human truly understand me in terms of behaviour, even though in my eyes I am an extremely simple person! Anywho, I'd love to have you as my psychiatrist haha. If you ever consider it, I will wholeheartedly support the idea. I am about to graduate med school, so if you do opt towards a more medical career, there is a possibility we could get into an alliance, as I already favour you quite much. Now onto the video. It is the easiest thing to lie or manipulate to get what you want or fool others so that you are provided an easy life, but even thinking of acting on it disappoints my sense of principles and humanity. If in a situation lying will get me out easily, I still find it difficult to lie, but not impossible if the situation is dire. It may otherwise be assumed that INTJs are master manipulators, but we just dont find manipulation more important than our own moral conduct. So once again, you nailed it on the head.
It's pretty accurate what you said about the INFP, I can so easily see how people work and i have extreme potential to manipulate any given situation without people having a clue, but my heart would never let me do that, guilt would be unbearable!. i can also read xNFJs like an open book while being immune to their manipulation tactics.
I got what you meant by the video. But I think that most people will cherry pick between manipulation and mentioning a certain type. Mostly because people usually associate the word manipulation with ‘getting what I want’. And, in most cases, this is unfortunately what most people do. However, a further explanation would be much appreciated. Because, as an INFJ I am getting tired of people forming stereotypical opinions of either manipulative (as they see it, aka. getting what one wants), or having no opinion because the type can ‘blend in’. Neither of these are true. Personally, I am highly opinionated and I make my own mind and reach my own conclusion after careful thinking. And, let’s address the manipulative part in order for people to understand it. I have recently realized that my approach to people is similar to the one psychologists use. In psychology, it is referred to as REBT (Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy). The aim is to rationalize our thoughts (but, in broader context, it does influence our behavior and personal growth). This is what an INFJ (and ENFJ) is mostly likely to do. And the aim is far from getting what one wants. It’s helping people reach a conclusion and a version of themselves that uses a rational approach.
I feel like ISFP and INFP should be in the sometimes category. Also, I feel like ENFP and ENTP got off too easy as well😂 ENxPs should be right up there with us xNFJs. All just based on my own personal experiences. Also, INTP has a sneaky side too! They aren’t as good at it as they think they are. INFPs and ISFPs aren’t so great at being sneaky either. The ENxPs however, seem to be super tricky and sneaky! And they’re verrrry natural with it too.
Thank you! I just watched one video about ENFPs and he made us sound like the most manipulative (in a negative sense) people on the planet. But I just don’t see it. Yes, we can be if we’re unhealthy. But in general I don’t think we like or even want to manipulate others.
Perhaps it's something that ENFPs are capable of and it comes out when they're unhealthy or in a bad place. Generally I would totally agree though that ENFPs are definitely not manipulative ~ Nathan
An INTP here and I find that this description is pretty accurate. I have always been good at manipulating people because I analyze them and know exactly what reaction or response I will get from certain things I say or do. I know that most people learn this as children and can manipulate on a basic level, but I can predict everything down to what the exact words someone will say are. This is something I tend to stay away from doing even though it comes naturally, mostly because it’s against my moral code. With the exception of doing it to get people to like me again after they get mad at me for being too blunt or cranky towards them. Or if I don’t want to do something. I do actually really enjoy studying manipulation techniques, but out of fascinating and the desire to know and understand it more than anything.
I'm an isfp and I manipulate people into seeing themselves for what they are and how much they limit they're own potential by holding an attachment to the ego given to them by others, rather than creating themselves. It either ends in a mental breakdown and fear of my presence, or a master of one's own self. It's a hobby of mine. I scare fake people straight, or into a corner exposing the demon they have made themselves into. When I look at many people around me I see a sticky infectious wound under a surface of mundane over simplicity and I see a disgusting lie, falsely justified by the fact that "everyone else does it too". It's not okay, its not realistic, it's not right. Whether you see me as idealistic or not, REALISTICALLY and OBJECTIVELY it Doesn't work and it is completely dysfunctional and a product of failure and denial. If it feels mundane, chances are its wrong. If your miserable, don't accept it, don't just "accept" anything for that matter.
I was actually quite intrigued by the reasoning behind the positioning of each type and it made me reconsider how I use/view my own functions in regards to manipulation as well. Very well put. - INFJ
As an INFP, I am /intimately/ aware of my potential for being able to manipulate others, and absolutely never abusing that potential is one of the core principles that I hold--and I suspect my fellow INFPs also feel the same.
When I was going through an incredibly dark period in my life, my unhealthy traits came out and hurt those closest to me. I'm grateful they stuck around to help me out of the hole I was struggling to get out of. As an INFP, I've seen the damage that can be done through negative manipulative behavior and I never want to let it out of its cage again. It feels so inauthentic and cheap. I couldn't bare to hurt someone like that again.
Infj manipulate in a positive way. I trick my friends into working out and eating healthier. Things they normally wouldn’t do without me but I make it seem as if it were their idea
As an ENFP I never could conceptualize how one would manipulate because I thought, "we all are so different and nuanced moment to moment yet also so much the same on the whole." And then I started learning typology and there was a moment last spring where things clicked and I could see people's motives and I was like "ooooh God this is a terrifying amount of power I do not like this." So uh, yes. I could do it and I could do it quite well but I'm a bit too transparent to allow it to happen. If I have influence on people I want them to know what they're walking into and walk into freely.
Fellow ENFP here. You're absolutely spot on! Especially what you said about people walking into it freely. I can put on a facade when I need to, but only for a short while before it becomes too draining to keep up with. So I avoid doing it, it's a last resort kind of thing. It's much easier to just let my freak flag fly and I've found that it makes others around you feel welcome to just be themselves as well.
The power of manipulation _usually_ doesn't jive well with our Fi. Our Ne and Te, though, make it entirely possible for us to manipulate people if we so desire.
@@Chigger as an esfp, I agree. Especially with Fi in that auxiliary “responsible” position. Hard to be authentic if you are manipulating people. Glad Nathan put us low in the list :)
@@sirbradfordofhousejones My younger sister's an ESFP. She hates manipulating people despite her natural charisma and outgoingness; she much rather prefers to try to make people feel better.
In my experience (INFJ dad and ENFJ mom) and based of what i have heard from others including INFJs. (Bear in mind this is about tendencies and how an *unhealty* personality would manifest in an INFJ type.) Unhealty INFJ hands down mops the floor with ENFJ when it comes to manipulating. They are very competent like ENFJ but are also unlike ENFJ partly cabable to reduce their feelings/empathy (they cant disable it allmost completely like ISTP tend to be able too through). But that makes INFJ partly immune to guilt and shame a point where ENFJ are very vulnerable!! INFJ are also unlike ENFJ extremely secretive and tend to be more cynical and uncareing about social reputation (like ISTP) Bacikally ENFJ and INFJ have about the same potential, but allmost nothing holds bad INFJs back, and this combined with their deffensiveness can make bad/corrupted INFJs EXTREMELY potent at manipulation that only the most tough, socially uncareing and cynical manipulation ressistant types (like ISTP, INTJ, INTP and mabye a few others) would stand a chance to resist. -ISTP
@@kaspervendler1726 this is pretty scathing stuff. Don't you think you're generalising a bit? I wouldn't characterise any type as tending to be anything near that negative.
@@SubtleAscension No not really, but i can tell you that there are also LOTs of positive stuff to say about INFJs, and even the "bad" ones, if you did care to hear for a more nuanced perspective, however since people are usually only interested in the bad stuff, i did not tell.
@@kaspervendler1726 So I think there's actually a good few grains of truth in what you're saying that might be fun to explore. But when I read "They tend to be inauthentic vulnerable narcissists with an enormous moral superiority complex", or that INFJs are nearly immune to shame, guilt, social reputation, and that almost nothing holds us back..? You lose me at that point. Might you be extrapolating a single individual to represent the whole group?
@@kaspervendler1726 And just to add, no disrespect intended. I don't doubt for a second that your description fits whoever it's aimed at; I just don't think it's fair to tar every INFJ with that brush.
As an INTP, I can find myself having to manipulate people when I consider that they are making errors of judgement that will hurt them too significantly to ignore. I think of it more as a gentle hand on the tiller rather than manipulation however.
As an INTJ surrounded by ISFPs and INFPs, I’ve seen them use it much more often than expected, but in a very inoffensive way or in a more « Trying to save my ass » way, rarely in other situations tho.
I am INFJ and I despise manipulative people and have great difficulty manipulating people to like me. It must have been because in my upbringing I was very isolated and never learned social skills.
My mother's an ESFJ, and I don't think she's manipulative at all. She's actually been very manipulaBLE, and it's caused a lot of pain and struggle in her life. Maybe it's the lack of Ni. I do think Fe + Ni is the most potent combo for manipulation. But Fe without enough Ni to see through people and their machinations can sometimes lend itself to being a little naive or to having that Fe need to please and be validated taken advantage of. My mother has great social skills, but she has never been very good when it comes to deeper insights into people. Likewise, while she does do the Fe thing of conforming and being friendly and pleasant to everyone, there's really never any manipulativeness about it. Her only real motives are being social and people-loving, and having a strong sense of social decorum that she adheres to (and would like everyone to adhere to), even if she doesn't always like/approve of the individuals she interacts with and might sometimes talk about them behind their back.
I can agree with you, but ESFJs can be very manipulative with their Si & Fe (knowing from facts how to change situations for people). The ESFJ’s focus for manipulation might not be on Ni (future), but instead on repeating facts for the tribe.
Every INFP I know has admitted to me that they use manipulation regularly in some way or another. I disagree with your ranking of them specifically because of that. (They don't use it maliciously to be clear but do still use it.)
Always love these analysis videos of yours. I find your explanation to be accurate and what I've actually thought of how everyone would be in the category. As an INFP, I find the INFP explaination very spot on. I write songs and they're mostly about others and what they've been through from 'their perspective', but everyone who listens to them say it sounded super personal. And I do work in creative field so it kinda goes well for me ig. When you say "on the dark side they do it but they're so good people don't notice and it's scary to think about," it's super true haha :D. My high school once made us do a personality test done by a psychologist to know what college majors would match us, and they also analyze our characters. One of my demerit was "highly manipulative" lol.
As an infp raised by an INFJ and an ENTP I know how to spot manipulation and I know how to manipulate people myself, yet I try to not to do it often since it follows with a immense guilt
Two standing ovations here! 1. Thank you for pointing out that manipulation is not always bad. In a way, almost all of human interaction could be viewed as manipulative. Even genuinely saying I love you has the intent to make the other person understand you love them. I like that you pointed out how its not always BAD. A good leader needs to "manipulate" people into working together and being inspired. Well done to point out what few do! 2. Spot on for INTP. The rocket flying around without anyone behind the wheel that is our unbridled curiosity absolutely bumps into the phenomena of human behavior and manipulation, however, we rarely use it as we prefer truth and honesty. Mostly, I find myself using it in certain areas of life where I'm trying to avoid extroverted people, "Oh hah hah, I KNOW right, I'm so happy for the holiday too I have so much cleaning to do....which is totally why I can't make it to your BBQ." And then I run off to be alone and undisturbed in my world.
Absolutely confirm that as an INTP, I consider social skills and social graces to be highly distasteful and exercising them on unsuspecting people in any other context except experimentation makes me feel contempt for both my victims and myself. The more effective my social skills are, the greater contempt I feel.
INFJ. I have recognized and was a bit intimidated in my youth by my ability to manipulate or even emotionally hurt people with incise accuracy. But since my motivation is almost always to benefit the person or to benefit us both, I see it as a good (but sometimes underutilized) skill. I don't get offended easily, but I would not want to be a person who ticked me off and that I considered worthy of my bother. Would almost certainly be due to something I considered a higher cause or ethical standard. I love leading teams of people with different motivations. I may not be as good of a manager or charismatic leader as some, but I believe I am skilled at bringing a diverse team of individuals together to enthusiastically pursue a common goal for their individual reasons. I have been praised for my ability to work with difficult people and to bring managers into corporate objectives that no one thought they would ever buy into or even cooperate with.
I love the conclusion that we ISFJs tend to manipulate for the good of the other person. It’s so flipping true. 😆 “Just trust me! It’s for your own good!”
INFP here. I've been known to manipulate my family and coworkers on occasion, but I myself don't know I did it until after the fact, in retrospect. Perhaps it's a habit I developed long ago that's now so ingrained in the way I converse with others that I don't catch it until it's done? Whether people are aware of my doing it, I couldn't say, but I do know I don't ever intend harm by it. I typically find myself manipulating people into giving me information about them or about a situation, and I use that information to understand the person better to more fluently know how to interact with them.
Every ESFP I know comes across as highly manipulative. They typically have a distortion field that tries to make you feel like the most important person in the room while they are talking to you. Often name dropping to impress and asking more of others than they have any right to while showering you with compliments. They tend to come and go on their own whim regardless of prior arrangements. Many act first then ask forgiveness afterwards when called out. The general impression I'm left with is disingenuousness. They clearly don't like being called out yet behave as if you hadn't minutes later (gaslighting). The ENFP on the other hand is always negotiating. It doesn't matter on what, it doesn't always have to make sense. Interestingly, ENFP are often easily manipulated by telling them they shouldn't do something. Their fear of missing out takes over and they simply must do the thing they were told not to do. As for the ENFJ, most only use their powers for good or the good of the community/group (as they see it). It's helpful to remember however, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions.
ISFPs do this as well, its that charisma, and something to do with people pleasing. They will play your emotions to sway you to their opinions on a topic. Yet they seem to be the first too freak out if someones emotionally unstable, like they are out of their control mechanisms and this scares them haha
As an INFP, sometimes I can sit in a room and hear a conversation and can feel certain tensions that arise when someone says this or if someone is sending a subliminal message to the other person. Sometimes I'm just sitting there like, "No, they shouldn't say that" and "Okay, now that they've said that, they should say this". I feel like if I were able to give this insight to people like my parents while they were in the middle of a conversation (that I wasn't really supposed to be eavesdropping on) then I could've helped avert so many arguments. I find it hard to believe how many misunderstandings there are because people don't seem to be able to interpret more than what they just hear. It almost seems like people purposely don't care to actually consider if one thing that might have been accidentally said the wrong way was meant for that effect or another, when I can easily tell during a conversation if someone is saying something to offend me or not really to offend me but it just sounded that way. If I'm unsure, I can just steer the conversation in a way that reveals the person's intent behind the statement in question. Once, I actually used this when I was in a conversation with a close friend and someone else, who I didn't like, personally, but my friend considered a friend. It wasn't me trying to be possessive or just trying to tear apart a relationship, but I saw right through the subliminal attacks and insults that my friend sometimes seemed to catch on to but wasn't so sure and I wanted them to see it for what it was. I used this to steer the conversation in a way that they began reveal so much, by the end of the conversation, they had been so exposed, that they were just openly attacking and insulting. Meanwhile, they had revealed so many things that they didn't have to say specifically where I could point out to them their intent and insecurities and excuses they were hiding behind to justify their behavior. So, to sum it up, INFPs can be very manipulative, even if it's not with malicious intent. It's usually to get a deeper understanding of the person we are communicating with without them knowing because it's easier if someone opens up to you when their unaware. However, if you've held at least one conversation with an INFP, or were even overheard, we've more than unlikely unraveled you and know what makes you tick, what satisfies you, what makes you lose character, and your insecurities, even if you're holding up the façade, we know what's breaking behind it. That's why, in an argument INFP's can be your worst nightmare.
As an INTP, I think I am the most likely to spot manipulation and not get affected by it at all. However, it's seldom that I myself have to manipulate.
Id put ISFP up into likely or highly likely coz my brothers got a serious talent to be manipulative due to his charisma, his very slick at it, in a way many dont pick up on. My ESFJ mother almost accidentally manipulates to get her way at times, not so planned her version. My dads and I as an ISTP and ESTJ aren't manipulative what so ever, were way too honest and direct to be. We would tell you were being manipulative when we are and make a joke of it. So I'd say our types are in rarely category. Most people I know who are manipulative are people with self esteem issues, so most confident thinkers are usually too honest to need to manipulate. Were more likely to offend people with our honesty then ever need to stealth it out with manipulation, we dont seek approval like other types.
I know someone who's an ISFP and is one of the most manipulative people I've met.. even though most probably aren't, they definitely can be manipulative
ISTJs can be extremely manipulative but they are the ones whose manipulations go unnoticed. They are also good at detecting manipulation. Highly underrated.
As an INFP, I kind of feel bad that ENFJs are considered to be manipulative by many. Hmmm I have come across 1 or 2 ENFJs who were manipulative but I find most of them to be adorable and personally they have been very helpful and nice towards me. But the ENTP! You can offend the ENFJ to stop! But the ENTP I knew would come up with one scenario after another to try to manipulate me! And since that ENTP was very unhealthy, would do things without an iota of guilt or conscience. And as I don’t like conflict I kept avoiding it and not addressing it. But it was a great learning for me to see how some people can be and how I have to stand up for myself. Have to agree with INFJs. Have come across some manipulative ones but I have a good friend who is an INFJ as well.
Are you kidding me? They are one of the most manipulative types! I know because my sister is one. Man I'd avoid Enfjs, they can convince you white is black.
@@sash8099 haha! Okie then! I better meet the ENFJs who are not that manipulative! But I understand what you’re saying. One of my relatives (ENFJ) used to be manipulative but as years passed by, either she has become balanced or I need to be more aware.
I am an INFJ and what he said is true. We can be very good at manipulating BUT we only do it when we finally realized that we are inside the game that the other person created. Because of this realization we lose the intimacy to the person, shut down our emotions towards them and play along.
I'm an INFJ and I would say that's totally true. Sometimes I think how easy it is for me to manipulate people! I was extremely manipulative before but after getting conscious about it, I try to control it.
As an INFP, I sometimes worry that I'm being manipulative on accident just because I'm good at phrasing things in a way that will be more receptive to the other person. My mom always told me you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, so I've learned that HOW you say something matters more than what you say. For example, if you order someone to get you a pencil, there's a much greater likelihood that that will trigger a defensive and defiant response. People don't generally like to be told what to do. However, if you say could you please get me a pencil with a calm and sweet tone of voice you are FAR more likely to get them to actually give it to you. It's not always about getting my way or whatever, sometimes it's just that people won't actually take the time to listen to your side of an issue if you come at them in the wrong way. So is that manipulative? I never do it maliciously or to try to control people.... merely to keep peace and not cause unnecessary conflict or to get someone to actually listen to my position regardless of whether or not they agree with it. My husband is an INTJ. He sometimes can be manipulative to other people. It doesn't really work on me, but he has said that S's are easier to manipulate than N's in his experience. He says it's helpful sometimes at work to subtly get people to do what he wants, but it's always for the greater good of his department lol. He swears he uses his powers for good and not for evil lol
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Did you put INTP and INFJ at the end to make show that the main people watching this would watch until the end? If so, bravo.
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INTJ who is often around INFJs... got a mixture of *lowkey fascination & morbid curiosity* towards their expert manipulative capabilities. *Observing & learning*
Hmm, I'm not sure how to respond to this. Though a intj should know 😅
@@ManDan2797 I don't know if I know what you mean by that?.. but then again I might 😁
@@ManDan2797 Spoken like a true INFJ. 😁
As an INTJ, I always thought it was weird that I felt this way about these capabilities. That maybe I was faking this “morbid curiosity”.
Survival of the fittest doesn't just mean whoever's physically fit or most intelligent
"Did they found out that we are secretly manipulating them to do the actual work while we are 'thinking' ?"
"Don't worry, they still have no clue"
- INTP secret communications
I frequently play the idiot to get out from doing anything.
@@jadapinkett1656 If you're useless they can't use you. - Intp 😂😂
The path of least resistance
@@boolerina1734 manipulative person : *tries to manipulate the INTP to do something for their interest*
INTP : *does nothing*
maniplulative person : "how did he know ?"
INTP : *completely clueless*
Shhh!
Do not share our secrets!
-INTP covert operative
As an INTP, one thing to consider about manipulation is that, in the short term, it's very socially draining; personally, it requires a lot of overt charisma that I just don't have or at least, find it very tiresome. If I am going to be manipulative, I play the long game, using logic and systems to get others to institute my will for me.
Absolutely. I can do it when I’m angry but it’s incredibly draining and I feel like I’m violating my principles by doing it. I will say that when I have done it it has worked spectacularly well.
same. bad at the short game. Generally seem to win at the long game.
Well, in my case I thought it was basic education, but it turns out that I was actually being manipulative ... Most of the time I manipulate people without thinking too much, I'm just trying to get something from them by pretending that I'm nice, bad, weak or that I have supernatural powers, but I rarely do it because it's exhausting
... yes i admit it is very taxing for us... 😑 i would rather die than even think abt it again. i tried to control an estp because he was resourceful and had the manipulative power i desired to have. he ended up manipulating me. it wasted a LOT OF MY TIME. 🥲🤧🤧🤧🤧.... i got scammed big time. i wouldn't have gone after that thing if only i knew befors that estps are dangerous. plus they are basically devoid of any moral values. they will make u believe they are innocent but deep down ... they are rotten..bleh i wasted 6 months!!!!
I recommend going the blunt route, you will be shrugged off in the moment but respected and dignified in the end.
-isfp
Being an INFJ and already knowing i'll be on the top... It's true, our need for harmony makes us want to keep the peace and everyone feeling ok. The people analysis skill is something that is always switched on, even if we don't want to. It's like you're constantly reading the room and aware of other people's energy. Can be quite draining. But i think we can learn how to control it, instead of letting that skill control us. For that, we need to learn how to be more disagreeable and assertive, which is something i've been personally working on. I think i can now control better what kind of emotions i let in. Ultimately, i think we tend to let other people emotions manipulate us. If we learn how to set our own boundaries, we can learn at least to protect ourselves from the external environment and also to better spot bs talk.
Wanting harmony and being good at understanding people's feelings isn't being manipulative. Being manipulative is actively using other people to get what you want for yourself.
I totally get what you mean. It can be so hard not to get swept away by other people's emotions. I am working on it personally, but I also do my best to keep dramatic people out of my life. Like, it's not only that I often find the drama unnecessary, I also find it kinda offensive of people to be barfing their emotional baggage on others and get really irritated really fast by this kind of behaviour.
Real problems, I'm all there to help with whatever the otger needs and I can provide, but drama - no thank you.
Luckily, I have gotten pretty good at weeding them out (after falling on my face a few times), and my partner and friends are the opposite of those soul and energy draining drama vampires.
(ENTP here btw.)
🥰
Love your icon, Owls are my favorite animal too!-fellow infj
@@ConvenientlyShapedUsername That is a simplification and lack of self knowledge and knowledge of how the human mind work. As an INFJ I almost always ”play” a role out of the social situation. That is to indirect manipulate people of who I am. To want ”harmony” and to good is not always the same thing.
Well called on INTJ. I'm often consciously aware that I could use certain manipulation tactics to achieve particular outcomes, but principles and conscience generally prevent me from doing so. An INTJ going dark is a much scarier prospect, however. Whether we've gone dark or not, I'd say most of us would consciously use manipulation to take down a villain without remorse.
I know how easy it can be to manipulate most people, and when I was younger I used that. As I've gotten older I make it a point to not manipulate people because it really is a matter of principle. I'd rather have people's honest reactions, input, etc.
I can use my second brain to analyze person’s mindset and motivation. INTJs are often goal oriented so an INTJ might employ manipulation if it benefits the goal and increases efficiency. An INTJ’s alignment is a secondary factor. It also depends on the INTJ’s emotional connection with the chess pieces.
@@C-SD Do you think we're more inclined to manipulate the circumstances surrounding something, rather than manipulate a person? I think of the long play schemes with big pay-offs Lisbeth Salander does in the Dragon Tattoo series.
On a less villainous note, I think INTJs often have a tendency to change the environment or circumstances surrounding a problem/person, rather than changing the issue directly.
On a certain point within the Infj spectrum, there are some Infj's who share your exact sentiment. Even though the ever present and overwhelming drive to make our environment harmonious always looms in the forefront, some of us despise the thought of manipulating others just to make ourselves more comfortable. I've observed that other Infj who think this way are much more self aware.
I agree. INTJ mom here who is trying to use my eye for manipulation to teach my kids how to spot manipulative tactics to avoid being manipulated themselves. I’ve seen relatives and others try to manipulate them. It’s gross and pathetic.
INFP here, I (more often than I would like) manipulate people into leaving me in peace to do my own thing. It’s a self-preservation thing
Hello my fellow INFP!
That’s a nice way of putting it! 👍
so so so true
I realized that I can get info about something specifically from someone if I listen to them and make them feel emotionally comfortable. It also helps being vulnerable myself, since if people sense you're sharing personal feelings (vaguely), they'll grow a sense of safety with you and will start sharing their own vulnerability. But I never realized I did this until now lol. I rarely do it on purpose, is just mostly out of curiosity of the other.
-INFP.
the fact that infp know a lot of things but whether want to do it or not.genius individualist l would say
I notice this in my infp mother. Asks me to do things for her all the time for the sake of her maintaining comfort, to a bit of an overbearing degree. Then feels guilty if I express discomfort, so I dont. She knows sharing her emotions inclines me to get her what she wants, so I resent her behavior but never communicate it. I guess I myself manipulate her into believing it’s okay in that regard cuz sharing emotions hard. Anyways sorry for ranting, I dont rly have anyplace else to say this kinda stuff. You infps stay cool, coming from an enfp ✌️
And true for the INTP, I was sort of taken aback (and a bit disgusted) that manipulation works that well when trying it out after reading some psychological studies (just an experiment, no one was harmed). Never did it again....
I'm an INTJ and had the same experience... I'm disgusted of it as well, to the point that I stop respecting people when I notice that they're frequently manipulative
@@GhostCatFromHell People who try to manipulate me... well, I usually notice such behaviour from the beginning, but yes, it annoys me quite a bit too. It's sort of like an insult to even try, as if saying: You are dumb enough, so I can do that. So in consequence, same as you, I just discard them and lose respect. They didn't respect me either after all.
Always best to get rid of such bothersome individuals.
ikr
@@NocturnalCachalot Yes! It's the same for me. I'm able to notice manipulative behavior and it feels like an insult and lack of respect, exactly like you said. But even when it isn't related to me, I lose respect and avoid being near the manipulator.
That's one of the reasons why I don't understand why some people let themselves be manipulated.
@@GhostCatFromHell I came to the conclusion, after watching such behaviours for a while that people who let themselves be manipulated are either sort of preconditioned to react that way (as in bad upbringing and toxic family life, constant gaslighting etc.) or they really notice it late and may end up being conditioned later to react positively towards manipulative behaviour.
The human mind can sadly be trained after all, and to gullible or uneducated people that is quite a dangerous factor.
INFJ speaking again, I would love for you to do a "RAGE" video. This video reminded me of how I can manipulate as a tool but when I've had enough of catering to everyones BS, I tend to go nuclear (but it takes awhile to get there). Would love to see a video on how fast and large a blow up from the personalities would be! PLEASEEEEE :)
Another INFJ here, too. And you're so right. We are definitely slow to anger, but we're forces to be reckoned with when we actually get there.
My INFJ dads rage is the most intimidating rage i have seen.
Please do 16 personalities rage video!
I don't think this is related to mbti, but someone correct me if you know otherwise
@@spring7643 in my experience and from what i have heard, INFJ are more likely to be vulnerable narcissists with a moral superiority complex, and when those bad INFJs feel personally attacked (wich can happen quite often!) the ensuing "narcissistic rage" gets brutal.
In terms of mental trouble like cluster-B, i definently think that MBTI is valid in terms of collecting the dots in terms of tendencies, and by extension the likelyhood of bad anger management to say the least.
Yep
We INFJs can manipulate without even realizing it sometimes. It’s about getting what we want with the way we behave so you are absolutely correct. We observe what ticks and know how to get through people. It’s just a matter of watch and adjust, didn’t work move to the next step. Until it works. It’s creepy I know lol
INTJs do this too
I kinda relate as an unhealthy enfp. I want to appear mentally well so I focus on those around me to figure out what a healthy person looks like in their eyes, and act accordingly. I’m always out of my element as it’s against the better judgement of my underdeveloped fi begging to quit being a people pleaser and express myself. But it gets me by. That’s infj shadow for ya I guess. Sry if this was tmi
Intp too, this happens to me and i only realise the exact moment after i said it.
How would you convince three people to kill each other in triangle position (they all must die). Would you go with one kills two and shots himself scenario, or three of them pull the trigger simultaneously? The weapon is sawed off shotgun with one bullet in it.
@@maxstewart9883: Oh, don’t you worry. Describing yourself to us in great detail is basically feeding us. We much prefer hearing other people vs analyzing ourselves…..mostly because we already did that earlier and we are exhausted by it or hate what we found. Anxiety. Gotta love it!
The Fe/Ni combination literally can't help but understand people. When you understand people and want harmony, it's hard to resist the pull to try to make that happen, especially when you have the gift of influence. Is it always manipulation? It really does depend on one's motivation.
This was a very accurate description of Fe/Ni - ENFJ :)
Sometimes i feel like i can manipulate alot of people but of course im not because of my sense of morality... But sometimes i do it on accident
@@dragonkingxl3310Yup. I've done the same for sure. It's scary how easy it is to influence people when we aren't even trying. 😩
Yess it is manipulation but manipulation isn’t always a bad thing
I think that's partly why ENFJs specifically get such a bad wrap. Not only do we desire harmony and have a deep understanding of people's wants, needs, and emotions, but we're very vocal about it (Fe). What people tend to have a problem with is our Ni because we have these skills and use them, but we don't talk much about what we do with this knowledge since that's an introverted function. Instead we instinctively skip to using it in an Se context like a social situation. I'll fully admit to manipulating people, but 99.9% of the time it's to make people happier or diffuse an uncomfortable situation. Some people feel a deep distrust for that process and I can understand why, ENFJs who's hearts aren't in the right place can be absolutely brutal with their manipulation. It's just a shame that we've been given such a bad name for it :( I care
Entp here. I feel like you understand us way better than some other creators on UA-cam. They often portray our debate as angry, and convinced, but we mostly do not care and we only hurt people on accident, because the other person has made strong emotional judgements.
I've just seen a post listing the types according to cruelty and ENTP landed second because _according to them_ they want to help people but they use manipulation to do so, they are sympathetic but not empathetic... and many more things about Fi trickster and Ti parent.
I was like dude we aren't cruel, cruelty isn't objective in the first place and they were like if you view cruelty as a subjective manner then you're cruel yourself....
I've been questioning that and while others view me as cruel sometimes i don't consider myself to be cruel so i questioned me being an ENTP.
The devil advocate... The Joker... The debater... It doesn't bother me usually, actually it's a joke for me most of the time but this time they took my joking comment very seriously and i hate it when people take my jokes seriously so it ended up in a debate and believe it or not i hate debates..... So yeah people don't wanna acknowledge that we are normal people with normal feelings and not manipulative debating bast**ds for some odd reason
As an INTP who gets into more debates online than is good for them, exactly this. I could use what I know to hurt but don't do so on purpose except when it is absolutely the best play. My main goal isn't to hurt anyone but instead to elevate the conversation and help those that view the debate from the outside. I may not deal the best with feeling in general, but I know that others find them important.
Most people argue about subjects they have a significant amount of emotional attachment to. Us ENTPs are not this way, we argue simply for the sake of truth.
I think this combined with the fact that people in general tend to remember the pain that they got instead of why they got it.. Make us out to be an arrogant douce or something
When convinced of a premise that they are dealing with evil, people are capable of the greatest cruelties known to man, and who better to convince them this than themselves?
I gotta say, ENTP's are amazing wonderful people. You all are brilliant, driven, and incredibly fun/funny to be around. People that can't handle ENTP's or that attack your type have never really hung out with or encountered ENTP's in general. I adore the ENTP in my life, he's funny and a good time to be around. Typically he actually steps back from debates because people get too upset/he'll say something and accidentally step on toes or feelings then just feel awful about it. I can usually have a conversation with him about some stuff but there's buttons we won't even push with eachother because we both agree debates suck. Lol People really should look deeper when they see ENTP's, ya;ll are pretty complex and lovely people.
@@ashleycook300 I would say the same for ENFPs. Ya'll are something special ngl.
If this video is not a manipulation itself, I don't know what manipulation is. Give the INTPs more credit lol
~An INFJ who got offended before watching the video knowing very well where we will rank.
lolllllllllllll hahahahahahahahahahaahha i thought i was the only one but damnn some infj's agree too lol
damn same here, I burst out laughing when I saw that he placed the INFJ from the middle to the end of the row two times ( at 9:12 and 10:00) because he knew damn well that he would have to save them for the end LMAO
@@azss432 hahahaha i know what you mean, i couldn't stop laughing bc i thought from the start that we will rank even if we don't do it intentionally
As an INFJ the real frustrating part is when you know someone is trying to manipulate you and you have to counter that manipulation by withholding information from them and often those close to you. Which in turn makes everyone do 1 of 3 things. 1) they think you're hiding something (we are but it's with good reason) and now feel complete distant from you. 2) friends think we're paranoid or rude towards the manipulatior and will ask why you don't like someone, who's "tricks" haven't been made clear to the group, for what seems like "no reason at all". 3) the manipulator becomes violent towards you in some way for not giving them what they want and will somehow turn you into the villain of their story.
Personally I find that acting oblivious to their manipulation works best. And wait until they reveal themselves.
Also never do anything “bad” in a principle sense. Specially lying. That way you have no way of pointing fingers at you.
2 its always 2, my sisters are INFJs .. its a daily chore for me!!
@@IramZakir are you saying that the INFJ is the manipulator because I'm saying that everyone is always trying to manipulate the INFJ.
@@alyseh9539 oh I didn't realise, yeah my sisters are INFJ and they are natural manipulators. I don't know if they get manipulated or not but even if they do they would be aware of it.. I am an intp. Maybe people around you are probably more manipulative than you.. jk idk shit
@@IramZakir I'm not offended I just wanted to clarify to make sure I was on the same page as you. INFJs do at times get labeled more so as puppeteers than manipulators. It comes from our intuitive nature that allows us to anticipate what will happen next. Just like anything else there's a good and bad to this sort of thing. I personally notice that I put this skill to a positive use because I'm a stage manager, actors have a tendency to wander, not listen, not read their emails and lie. Once I know what kind of cast I have I'm able to say and do what I need to to know where every actor and crew member is and what they're doing without being next to them.
In the real world I've gotten people together, I've gotten people to change their opinions, even to do things for me but not really through malice. It's more like allowing people to either dig their own hole or believe it's their idea. Sometimes I don't realize I'm doing it others time it's on purpose and I found that when I try to force it things don't go well.
I'm not sure about your own situation with your sisters age plays a factor no matter what your personality type is, obviously. All I can say is, if you haven't yet, talk to them tell them how you feel and times that they've done things that have made you feel like they had other motives. INFJs mature ones will listen because our goal is to better understand people and they may not realize what they're doing. We also need the criticism we don't always like it but we do reflect on it deeply.
I hope this helps and I have met quite a few people who were true manipulators some were even family members which is why I can spot a gaslighter from a mile away.
(Another thought is that they might not actually be INFJs)
Infp here, bang on. I know I could manipulate & maybe even manipulate well, but it'd just feel a bit gross to me.
Yes! Our Fi will make our conscience feel so bad!
@@QuotesArticles Agree, I could never go against my conscience to achieve something
@@krystle8534 I can understand 👍😇
the fact infps are emotionally intelligent but very aware of others emotions
As an INFP I think we should be placed in the sometimes category. I really don't try to manipulate people as the very few times I done it I felt gross and immoral but I was still able to do it with some success. I can easily see it being done in a more defensive matter rather than doing it for personal gain.
The sometimes to an INFP is probably objectively rare still though. INFPs, healthy ones that is, would only resort to doing so either subconsciously or as a defense mechanism. That's not to say that we can't get it done successfully. In fact, unless the other party is all about hard logic & little else, or insanely good at manipulation themselves, our success rate at pulling it off is actually quite high, if the whole thing doesn't feel so uncomfortable that we botch it at our own will.
I feel you!
As an INFP I like to manipulate people for the collective gain, if you know what I mean.
sorry i think i agree with us infp in rarely category.. because despite we do have the abilities to manipulate.. most of infp dont want to .. and thats good..
I think this video is about how 'likely' you are to do it, rather than how well you do it. I do agree INFPs have great ability to do it!
I think INTP can be most manipulative if they want to. Still, they seldom do. But when they do, it's absolutely on point. This video is a pinnacle of that concept. Based on my observations, obviously.
True. Also it's incredibly draining.
Interesting, I want to hear more
yes.. true... i did manipulate some people and destroyed them completely but i don do those often. i dont do these disgusting things unless im provoked. plus i did lose in that manipulation field to an estp. so ...... im not doing something im not the best at again.
Same with INTJ, if there is a real need for manipulation.
@@-_-ok9550 why u sound like u bragging
The INTP analysis is on point. I typically prefer homesty but am well adapted to manipulate others.
As an INFJ who's nailed all my jobinterviews lately, it is a very useful skill 😄
True, but those interviews are so exhausting.
It's refreshing to hear someone validate manipulations as not at all negative. Yeah that epiphany I had when I incidentally use manipulation for myself and unconsciously manipulating for good of people. That sums up good manipulations but more towards redirect them to take that path by themselves. It's just a hint. A choice of wills. A suggestion if you wish to call it positively.
God complex ?
@@potatowarrior747 No, manipulation is just a tool. And it could be used for the better good or in defense to bad people who use it for bad. It’s like a gun, sure it’s immoral to use it unjustly but it’s a necessary tool to defend yourself if your opponent have it.
Manipulation from INFPs generally seems very indirect or mostly subconscious. Non INFPs can learn a lot about emotional manipulation from us because of our multi-dimensional way of feeling our world. However, deliberate manipulation will most likely backfire for INFPs!
~INFP
Yes! I am an INFP as well and I get what you are saying. When we deliberately manipulate, because of dominant Introverted Feeling, we feel so so bad and uneasy!
Unless the Te side has gotten so strong that the INFP in question could effectively suppress their emotions to make use of such gifts without any of the negative emotional feedback from the attempt hitting them, in itself a sure sign of said INFP has become unhealthy, willful, deliberate manipulation would almost always cause so much pain & discomfort that said INFP would end up sabotaging their own attempt at it.
@@FalconWindblader absolutely right! Just to keep off such horrible and uneasy feeling we try our best not to indulge in manipulation or activities that cause us emotional pain and discomfort!
(On a side note, I really would love to improve my Te to accomplish/complete the many number of tasks that I start or plan! 😀)
@@QuotesArticles On a side note, I really would love to improve my Te to accomplish/complete the many number of tasks that I start or plan!
As far as INFPs go, don't we all?
Agreed!
I think you have the best understanding of INTJs out of the personality typing UA-camrs that I've listened to.
Most people seem to forget that we do have deeply held values and principles that we stick to. For me, they are engrained in my life goals, so there rarely comes a point where there is even a contention between my plans and my morals.
There will be no need to sacrifice one for the other, because they are intertwined. Not because I haven't considered the outcomes of what my plans would bring about, but because I have.
This is so true. I've come across one INTJ, and I'm surprised how principled they are. If they care about something, they care about it DEEPLY.
Agree as an INTJ many people explain INTJ as mastermind and evil by using only stereotypes..
I will resort to manipulation if I really have to, and I will probably be exquisite at that. however, manipulation isn't efficient in the long run, it is too petty and energy consuming for my goals (even when I don't have them, or maybe especially when I don'thave them). I have a "take it or leave it" attitude, which is off putting for 99% of people, but I guess that's the goal - trash taking itself out.
Other types also wrote he had the best understanding of these.
I think it is because, he, as an INTP, has the ability to asses known persons and their type, knew their strengths and weaknesses in addition to his knowledge about MBTI and come to an relatively objective conclusion how to order them (not to say manipulate them).
Manipulation, especially the negative kind, is way to SHORT-sighted, tooo short-termed. Thus, true Intjs really don’t resort to these negative schemes, since in the long- term, they are actually counter-productive than beneficial. Principled Intjs rather persuade and convince humans with facts, truth, reason and logic, rather than try to manipulate with charm, empty promises or plain lies.
INTP here, it wasn't that recently I studied some manipulating techniques. At first i was like "Nah this wouldn't work on people.... would it?" So I tried some manipulating tricks towards my friends, and holy sh*t it worked
I was amazed how you can easily control people like that, but I felt really bad after doing it and disgusted for the fact that other people would do this to another human being. Rn, I'm only using this extra knowledge in case someone would try and manipulate me
techniques like what ? :P
@@Magani79 This isn't really something that can be discussed. Research it yourself, please.
@@NerdyCatCoffeeee is the police gonna arrest us or something?
@@Magani79 nah. just bad people would learn about it and use it in bad ways or for bad purposes, it would not be great to leave them such an opportunity
@@NerdyCatCoffeeee ahh got you. I appreciate it
ENTP here. Thanks for breaking down the wall of stereotypes of us being "mean" and argumentative. Fe 3rd slot can really makes us absorb the emotional atmosphere and adjust to it playfully.
An ENTP I know gets easily absorbed in the Fe atmosphere and has a hard time when the atmosphere of the group is "bad". ENTPs want people to have a good experience. I try to softly point out that bad emotions are normal and necessary as impetus for change. As an INTJ I recognize what a driving force an upset Fi can be. ENTPs are not mean nor argumentative in my view. They simply see many perspectives at once, which is wonderful for problem solving. As an Ni dom I simply see the path forward and the ENTPs Ne-Ti helps so much to problem solve to get there. I smile and nod a lot at ENTPs Ti-Si loops ("we need every step to be thought out in the most detailed way possible leaving no room for logical errors!") Because my Te-Se wants to say "who cares, let's just slap something good enough together and put it out there for people to use. If it glitches we'll fix it!" lol I'm sure as an ENTP you just cringed at the thought. We kinda find a happy middle where things have to work good enough. I let the ENTP be responsible for the logic, I feel more responsible for it working. it's an interesting and enjoyable working relationship. 😆
As an INTP I don't think I've ever met an ENTP in person but I feel like I would be great friends with them.
many people don't know about xnfp's manipulative side. it shows that they're very good at it.
My ENFP sister is one of the most manipulative people I've ever known in ways good and bad. She knows exactly how and what to do and say to get what she wants. INFJs have a reputation for manipulation for some reason, but I actively avoid manipulating other people and all the INFJs I know hate manipulating others.
@@matthewmcree1992 I thought xNFPs were the least manipulative type. Isn’t it INFJ that is super manipulative?
@@atmodleeNooo… because Fi =/ objective morals or heck even authenticity (though it could be a manifestation of Fi) it means, ones personal feelings. Basically if an XNFP wants something, they could do anything to get it. Literally the most manipulative people I know are XNFPs. I notice that XNFJs would manipulate people for the the person’s best interest but xnfp manipulation is usually self interested.
@@atmodlee INFJs generally would not manipulate. They hold themselves to their own very high standard of being good person and can be drowned in guilt if they've done anything wrong. But if they are exploited, or wronged making lose their sense of defence or when they come from a background with family who were toxic and didn't provide them good lessons, then in that INFJs are very jaded, paranoid and aggressive. Which is why they tend to be highly manipulative.
But even in that case, alot of variations will be there.
Although, it's easy to point out the immature INFJs... Since they would be messing up everything they are doing to get what they want, which makes them look like fool.
@@KT-lt4fy manipulating people for people's own benefit is usually called good guidance or influence, not manipulation since manipulating requires self interest/personal benefits or gains. But if they lie to people for people's best interest... Then idk.. it could be manipulation too
As an ENTJ it is definitely a my way or the high way kind of attitude. You would have to have something pretty important for me to make an effort to manipulate. With that being said I am genuinely interested in friends and co-workers and don't need to manipulate because most people have my back to begin with.
Enfp and Entp both deserve highly likely lmao. They crazy
The last time I used manipulation was to kick out a classmate from our work group. She literally did nothing for any group project for over a year and I wanted her gone. So I said: “what if each of us put our own name on the docs?”, since she never showed up, she never did it and she was officially kicked out (no one really wanted her in our group anyway, all of us were super done with her). It felt great once she was gone. My ENFJ friend felt bad, to which I answered: I don’t.
-INTJ
No offense but that class sounds like a joke, none of my professors would allow that to happen for a minute
@@spring7643 it was online school and we had to form the groups, it wasn’t my choice to put her in. And as for kicking her out, the professor was ok with it, but since none of us wanted to tell her that she had to do an entire month’s work in a week, he was disappointed on us (he told her in the end)
@@StellaLoreley online school explains it, I was being too harsh about the teacher
Is that really manipulation? I look at it as justice. She didn't do the work, so it was ultimately her fault. -INFP that can't stand people who mooch off of other people. It's unfair for her to get the same grade as everyone else when she didn't do the work. You dispensed justice not manipulation in my opinion.
@@bunny_0288 I used manipulation to make justice. I think that’s the point there
As an ISTP i have read alot about manipulation and psychology in general.
I use my knowlegde defensively only, and to help people (that i like) out of difficult situations like abusive relationships.
Whats holding me back from manipulating others, is that i find most people annoying and incompotent, so i would rather do allmost everything my self or with the help of my few close friends (if its an area of theirs expertise).
I also have little need for attention, so i dont manipulate for attention like many manipulators tend to do.
Manipulation is gennerally for losers, and should only be used offensively against mediocre bad people.
ISTPs are the type I admire most, so take this with a grain of salt. But this a difficult one for me. I wouldn't say ISTPs are manipulative but they can be extremely insidious (even if they don't mean to be). Think about how easy it is to have control over someone or achieve a beneficial outcome through:
- The Silent Treatment
- Slowly taking on work and responibilities that weed people out
- Correcting people's mistakes mainly through actions (sometimes words) that make others doubt themselves and their abilties.
So,
Intentionally Manipulative..no.
Insidious by nature/default... possibly?
@@lulukrassova2196 ISTPs are not for the faint of heart, but also the most geneuely kind people out there in terms of making an actual meaningfull positive difference in people-(they care about)s life.
If one goes to r/ISTP subreddit there is a ton of ISTP appriciation posts there.
I would say that ISTPs are only "insidious" to people that genuinely expects to only be comforted into self improvement, and towards people (primarely annoying feeling extroverts) that pisses them off.
Bonus info: Everyone who have grown up with a cat, would likely have a far easyer time to "handle" an ISTP
@@kaspervendler1726 Love this, yes indeed. My husband was an ISTP and I loved him so much. But he had some insidious moments (at work at times) but for the most part he was a role model and helped people who worked hard. To be honest he mostly only light-heartedly made fun of annoying Fe types and they loved him and looked up to him. The silent treatment was probably his worst trait but I am an INTP so that was something we both were guilty of. We both loved our space but we also felt neglected by eachother at times, that was usually easy to resolve because there was an implicit understading in that regard.
@@АндрейОливер-з2е absolutely, that is very very true.
@@АндрейОливер-з2е Lol I’ve “punished” by an unhealthy ISTP before. He read 4 years worth of dms between me and my best friend who he developed an emotional dependency on 3 months into their friendship, who was uncomfortable with the dependency but didnt know how to express it outside of telling me. He got her account after saving her password she trusted him not to use when he was helping her w something, and grilled us for not being “honest” with him. He played victim despite us already tolerating the many boundaries he crossed up till then, and he eventually cut all his friends out of his life over the debacle out of self contempt and cant seem to move on to this day.
INTJ - I don't manipulate people. I just steer them in the right direction.
I'm in love with your INTJ analysis. If you ever wrote a book on them, I would be more than willing to buy it rather than some random merch. Please do consider any more form of media coverage on them coz I think a lot of us would be willing to understand ourselves better with your content. -I am sure other types would agree too but understand my bias towards getting content for my own type xD-
Also holy shit you described the aspect of manipulation so well. Most people dislike the idea of being called manipulative because of its popular negative connotations.
💙
Yeah as an INTJ I really love how he always explains about INTJ so accurate and so true
Yeah but merch takes WAY less time and money to make so it's a far better ROI. I do agree it would be more worth the money, though
@@silverrain530 yeah that's also understandable. Just tried to highlight to the team that there are penny pinchers like me who want value for money purchase over random mugs or t-shirts. I guess they sell but they never appealed to me as I don't like flaunting around my MBTI letters.
True, I take my "manipulative" nature as great praise
ENFP here. So true. I know I could manipulate people, but at the same time, as my thought and goal changes, I know it could be bad for myself. Also, personally find it kinda mean either way haha
Ah yeahhh absolutely the same haha
Nathan, you are spot on! As an INFJ, it is my dark super power. I can very easily manipulate others - typically for the good of the relationship. I do agree, that it is difficult to turn off - if it is possible. We become excellent mirrors and actors in this world, often coming up empty when asked to describe who we are and what we feel.
As an INTP I usually find out what people take pride in and then when I need some help or need something done I’ll set the conditions just right so they’ll want to help and feed their pride.
Clever. As INTP, I have difficulty asking for help because I want to figure it out on my own. They'd rob me of the learning fun.
@@gretagrotto5858 well I never actually ask them for help. I just manipulate them so they feel like they want to help and feel good about themselves without realizing I manipulated them.
@@BimmerWon The problem is I'm usually info gathering so I can't easily be manipulated to do something to 'feel good' since nothing beats what I"m doing solo. However, the INTJ tries to make it my business by saying I'll gain some knowledge that I'm likely to use soon. Then the issue is whether that bit of knowledge can wait in line, which is when he gets upset, attempts to manipulate more overtly, and calls me stubborn. But I do understand how you go about it as I have done the same, although more for them (they like to feel needed) than myself. I tend to prefer to do things independently.
Yay for natural charm. ☺️
I think you are spot on for ESFJ and ENFJ.
~Saiyren
I am am INFJ and my closest sister is an ENFJ. We get along better than any other sibling (6 of us total) out of the family. I can definitely say that the skills you mentioned on my end, an INFJ, is extremely accurate. I wasn't aware of it as much until I realize I could gain the approval of those who are typically hard to earn it from. But the thing is, is over time, if I had a boss or a coworker that I could tell didn't like me too well (or atleast misunderstood me) I was always able to change how they interacted with me later on, in a positive way. A lot of it is communication tho, because I feel like we have a gift of communicating, and being able to get our points across in a non-aggressive manner without offending others- which is a part of the "manipulation." You could be saying something that most people wouldn't want to be hearing, but make it not seem so negative. Also it is done on accident a lot of the time, but I personally use it in good ways. I can also just tell how to talk to certain people differently, which is a part of our intuition I guess. But I especially realized I was awesome at using these skills once I began utilizing ABA Therapy at a Behavior Clinic for children.
I'm glad you put Fi doms in "rarely". I've been pretty turned off by people's disdain for Fi users on Quora, and ISFPs (my type) are often seen as disloyal, flirtatious, and manipulative users. People run into unhealthy versions of a type and then categorize everyone with those flaws as "that type". In reality I can never pass a lie without it being noticed lol, and I rarely ever try. Looking back on me and my older brother as kids, whenever we didn't get what we wanted we took in in very different ways. My mom is a reasonable person, so when my brother would kindly persuade her to his POV it would often work. I on the other hand would just give up immediately and whine which never worked xD. Btw he tested as ENFJ but immediately refuted that profile and decided he was more like the INTJ profile instead. Personally I would say he's closest to ENTP (judging by his preferred cognitive functions) .
It's nothing to be happy about. Great manipulaters are sometimes great leaders.
@@adarshsingh1745 I'm not happy about it though...? I told about my brother to show how persuasion/social manipulation is a skill I admire but don't have. I do find it funny that I'm naturally bad at it though, and I wanted to prove by my testimony how people's idea of ISFPs naturally being able to manipulate others doesn't hold water.
Edit: Also I dislike the word "manipulation" in this scenario since it has such a negative connotation. I realize what Nathan is referring to by "manipulation" is being able to influence, persuade, and charm others rather than controlling or exploiting them.
Being an INFP I relate with what you say. Lots of people on Quora tend to see Fi as the ultimate selfish function, and I guess it can be when you bump into an unhealthy user. Fi it's about introspection, about personal (not external) feelings. An unhealthy Fi user might use it to get what they personally want, ignoring the needs of the rest of the group simply because theirs are being fulfilled.
On the other hand, a healthy Fi user instead of ignoring someone else's feelings and needs in favour of their own, they can use it to actually empathize with this person via "I understand what you feel/ your predicamend because I have felt the same way before or gone through something similar".
So, honestly, don't pay attention to people on Quora. Sometimes it feels like they love to hate certain types, or certain characteristics.
By the way, I am not a native english speaker, so I apologise for any orthography or grammar mistake I might have done😅
And, honestly, some of the kindest, most charming and adaptable people I have known are ISFPs. Sometimes I mistake them for extroverts at first. Don't let some people on Quora that like to jump into conclusions let you down:)
The internet hates Sensors in general, so it's no surprise that they get ISFP dead wrong more often than not. I think the only people who understand ISFPs are either INFPs, ISTPs, INTJs, or ESFPs. Even the much ballyhooed INFJ doesn't get us at all. Fe users often try to accuse of being 'selfish', because we don't give in to their demands for emotional fulfillment. They can't process the idea that we are not obligated to share our emotional nature with them, and their demands for that sharing are intrusive.
INFP here. I dont normally comment on these but in this case, you struck a chord with me so here I am. I've discovered through 23 years of existance, I'm extremely empathetic and understanding enough(too empathetic tbh) to have an extremely good grasp at others thoughts and opinions to the point where I start predicting what sentence they'll say next with scary accuracy. In terms of manipulation, I'm aware of my ability and potential of it, however my moral compass prevents me from using it in any other means than constructive cause any Ill intention I have will never be enacted on unless I feel justification.(personal example, being cheated on lol) I find myself moreso manipulating myself than I am with others anyways since I'm more hellbent on trying to understand people, especially as a "Mediator".
Overflowing with empathy is a very handy ability to have but it also has its faults at times just as you said "They adjust themselves and in some cases, they are so good at doing it, it goes unnoticed and that's a scary" which stood out to me cause I never really gave it much thought at that angle but it makes sense since I'm constantly feeling this sense of disconnect and a lack of understanding from my peers. Now you've given me another layer and angle to look at myself with and now I'm going to spend the rest of my day thinking about this rent free in my head haha
Manipulating myself is definitely a good way to put it! As long as it doesn't disagree with my beliefs then I'll adjust as needed for the most part
As someone who has done their best to ensure they're actually an INFJ, I agree that it is almost automatic for us to be social chameleons. However I also think that if our social meters have been exhausted or if we are particularly emotional, our ability to do this is severely compromised and so there are moments when it does turn off and we lose control of how we respond, although perhaps not by choice
This is so true.. My anxiety hours takes away my functional social adjusting skills.
Why wouldn’t you manipulate people? That would basically be self sabotage. Makes life easier. Doesn’t have to be malicious
- INTJ
This is hilarious. Such an INTJ thing to say. "Manipulation is the best way to get something accomplished. What's so bad about that?"
Then you've got the I/ENFJs squirming and hoping everyone doesn't hate us for manipulating them. 😆
~ENFJ
Yeah I was pretty surprised that he said INTJs would be too principled to do it. I'm probably using a broader definition of manipulation than Nathan, but I'm sure any real INTJ is a constant manipulator in the sense that they know how to get the result they want from others ( the right time and the right way to ask for something, for example).
@Liz no real disagreement here except on terms. I would also find it distasteful to deliberately manouevre people in a way they wouldn't like if they were conscious of, especially if done deceitfully. But I think the art of people management can also be classified as manipulation. Nathan ranked the Fe types as good manipulators. I think Ni-Te can be just as effective as Fe when you learn how to use it
Making a request is fair, but accepting the rejection of the request is the issue I've had with INTJ. Let it go and find someone else who wants to do it. (INTP)
@@gunsbulletsheroin Never. It's possibly due to my growing up with a narcissistic mother but I am adamantly opposed to manipulating anyone for any reason. I would rather lose out on something than win by those means, 100% of the time. When I find myself in possession of knowledge or understanding that the other party doesn't have that may change the outcome to my detriment if they realize it I will STILL inform them. I'd rather have a no than an ill-informed yes. It would be a wrongness.
Are you an INTJ?
You're absolutely right about INFPs and ISFPs. I'll share why, at least from my INFP perspective, I believe we're so unlikely to want to manipulate or to be any good at it, despite seemingly having the right skillset. We are indeed uniquely good at imagining what it would be like to be someone else and how it would feel to experience things we've never experienced. We're generally really interested in that as well; we spend a lot of time thinking about it. This is why, as you say, IxFPs often really like acting and can be brilliant actors; we can definitely convincingly pretend to be someone else and trick people into believing it's real. However, the difference between doing this in the context of acting and doing it in real life to manipulate people is that acting is based on a mutual recognition between the actor and the audience that the actor is faking. In this way, it's not inauthentic; the audience knows they're being tricked into believing you feel something you don't. However, in our genuine interactions with people, we can't invoke this skill because it would clash with our deep desire to be authentic and sincere. There's nothing that makes me feel more rotten inside than tricking people or lying to them. Because of this, I'm a terrible liar; I can only pretend well when the other person knows I'm pretending. IxFPs will certainly defend their values and may try to persuade others to see things their way, but they're much more likely to do this in an up-front, sincere manner, in a situation where the other person is fully aware that an argument is being put to them and that they can ultimately choose to accept or reject it, rather than manipulating that person into agreeing. Ultimately, if people reject our values, that's fine, as long as they respect our right to have them; we rarely feel the desire to manipulate due to our general 'live and let live' mentality.
ENFJ & ENTP are at the top.
no hate, i love both. also people don’t give ENTPs enough credit for being highly perceptive (i mean this in a good way)
Exactly, I've seen ENTPs unhealthy ones, are best manipulaters.
Let me guess. You're an entp?
@Jay Bee ohh.. I understand. It's really not a good thing. It's good that you're not anymore... And it's Okay y'know, you realised it and improved. That's what matters. I just hope you don't drown in guilt and shame yourself for it. When I was younger, I used to be like that alot and for every little mistake... Sometimes, even now.. But I'm working on that. So I hope you could forgive yourself too. Cuz remember, we can be guilty but should not be hated.
Have a great day! :) ~INFJ
As an INFP, I'm very aware of the ability to persuade, manipulate or coerce others. For me, it's easy to do and makes me uncomfortable that I can. I don't like the thought of it and go out of my way to suppress that urge. What's really difficult is that it's a natural instinct. On the flip side, the reason I can do this is because I can see through others eyes. It hurts me as much as it hurts them if it's for ulterior reasons. I do find that I manipulate naturally if it's to bring harmony overall.
_ENFJ gets ready to get called out._
I half-expected Nathan to pause at 3:20 and say 'I want the ENFJs to stick around a bit longer so let's put this off.'
Raises hand lol
I am an INFJ... I recently got out of a friendship with a very manipulative (too faced level) ENFJ... I remmber telling her at the start of our friendship that I can read & analyze people very easily unless they are good at manipulating people... It took me no time at all to see & predict every action of hers, her motives & reasons, her lack of confiedence & self love, her love of victimizing herself & making me feel alot of guilt if I did sth wrong towards her, even when I apologize, I know she doesn't have to accept my apology, but humans love someone who can give them a chance... she would not apologize for the wrong things she did towards me though... she would make a bunch of excuses & justify her actions & again victimize herself... eventually I was fed up & just ended things... I do believe she was a narcissit, I just dont know if I can judge her like that... I keep thinking maybe it's just bc her personality type & I could not understand what she wanted... but I thank god everyday we are no longer friends, it was exhausting. 🥲💔
@@ash.alnasseri I feel you, friendship with an enfj, told them I can tell when anyone is lying to me. Took a couple months and they devolved into their old ways of lying and manipulating. Like sorry everyone will know who you truly are now.
That's what he did to us infj's instead...I noticed how we kept getting pushed back...
@@jessicathespy way to demonize all enfjs😑
xNFJ: "Sorry I can't help it! My strong Fe and Ni make me naturally excel at this whole manipulation game."
ISxx: "Manipulation? Hell naw, we ain't got time for that! ...Okay, maybe ISFJ got time for it *occasionally..."*
INFP: "I could so easily do it, but I don't have the heart to do something so cruel."
l know we should do it for good reasons.but as infp a lot of time l do it for escaped~unhealthy infp😥😞
I have an infp friend, and she is always throwing sad or disdain expresions/reactions at me when i don't react in the way she wants or put myself in her side when she tells me something for exemple "you ignore me, you ignore my photos", i try not to react to those expressions, thou, because i have a quite volatile strong character, and she knows it, and she loves to make me angry. i don't know why i'm still her friend. she's not a bad person, thou, she's a good friend, but i'm starting to get tired.
-infj.
I came up with a really great MBTI app as well. It's called You're Not My Type. It perfectly matches you with your least compatible counterpart. It's not doing well. I've actually survived two assassination attempts. Probably because I started with istp's in my matching algorithms.
This is hilarious 😂 ~ Nathan
😂😂😂 This is a good one
I think, as an ISFJ myself, you are correct. Our ability to manipulate is so subtle but I think we rarely often do it because there really is no use for it. If you notice an ISFJ being openly manipulative, they are probably unhealthy lmao. I used to do this back in high school to manipulate what people thought of me so they didn't think I was a mess and that backfired so significantly that I still feel shame to this day. Now, I'm just a tired 28 year old who will just tell you what I want or what I want to happen so I can avoid drama and misinterpretations all together lmao
Spot on for this ISTP. I absolutely detest emotional manipulation, and see it as incredibly selfish behavior. Without hesitation I will call it out every time. Of course many consider my bluntness as incredibly selfish and inconsiderate, so I guess we're all a-holes. I can accept that.
ESTJs see it the same, my dads an ISTP and were are a like in that way it seems. ESTJ would probably say "its weak to have to manipulate, say what you really mean honestly with no fear."
INTJ here, I agree with the assessment. I don't know how much it applies to others, but I think that for us it's a mismatch in motivation and ability. We can put pragmatic solutions and being efficient over morals and social norms, but this not only motivates us to use manipulation but also hinders us. It's a pain to constantly take care of what others think of you, all the social obligations, etc. We might be too disinterested in the other person's interests, or simply unable to understand them, which is obviously a problem if you want to manipulate someone...
I am an ENFJ and i knew we were going to be up there lol... with dominant Fe I knew we are said to be good at "reading the room" which is true, but I think that more than anything we are directly influenced by how people around us feel, there isn't much reading involved as much is it is just feeling automatic what others feel, and naturally, if that was a negative emotion we're gonna want to change that to make others feel better but that also directly makes us feel better, and since we have a good sense of what others are feeling we are again not rlly trying to put ourselves in their shoes, we are already in them lol, so when we are going abt our day to day lives changing the way others feel its just how we go abt things, and Ni comes in greatly as well in breaking things down to smaller points and conclusions that make through observing others and then it rlly comes in handy because we can apply what we learned in one situation onto the other through connecting them both to that same point... anyways I've seen fellow ENFJs use this for more selfish reasons (to make others like them and get ahead of others in a but more "evil" way) but I've also seen ENFJs use it for good, so how u use ot is up to the person but we definitely all do it lol.... thanks for listening to my TedTalk
edit: but also yes I completely agree that we don;t rlly like playing games and such, anything that feels disingenuous like acting like ur not interested or acting like u like someone etc.. to get something out of them feels so wrong to me, and ultimately the way I think abt it is that I want to make relationships work and my Ni tells me a relationship of any kind that starts with a lie won't end up so well...
ENTP here (before mistyped as INTP) and oh yah, people take all i said personally when isnt even intentional, I just like to challenge people, but not to give them nightmares (maybe, lol) even tho, Im very good dealing with people, they said "I thought you were mean, you know, is what they said about ENTPs"
Enfj here with two Infj friends. They do manipulate on a regular, sometimes they seem to not be aware of it. When they do it to me, I either just play dumb and let it happen or I get really annoyed and tell them to just be honest, because it can really be about the simpliest of things.
Truth. In my experience - and my mother is an INFJ, we are very close - INFJs really don't like to own how power-centric they are. It's the combination of secondary (wielded, not foremost) Fe and inferior Se. - another ENFJ
Yoooo INFJ here I realized this only just now, I am high key manipulative but only use it for benefit to myself without hurting others. I feel like I'm literally on everyone's good side, including people I don't even like, for some reason and get what I want most of the time. 😳 I don't always do it consciously ~ but yes analysing people, what they like what they dislike what interests them and what they value, how they speak... just everything. I've heard the most contrasting descriptions of me~ they don't know who I am. I can make good first impressions, radiate the same energy. Everyone sees me as someone different, unfortunately, so there is some good and bad as it doesn't always align with my values and who I am inside, but somehow make my multiple faces sort of natural. I even get confused sometimes... my close friends think I am a pushover sometimes or that I am submissive, but I always get what I want from them, so I mean.... 😂 I'll have my laugh and let them think whatever.
You could also rank how likely each type is likely to be manipulated
That would be fantastic!
A hundred yesses to this! 💯
up
Thank you for putting INTJ in sometimes. I'm sick and tired of the toxic stereotype. Being manipulative is draining and I hate doing it. Worse if you have to do it and it doesn't work out as planned.😖
Wow all the explanations and rankings are spot on! Glad to know I also guessed correctly on most of these tho :) Although I totally didnt expect INTP and ESTP to be that high, I didnt think they would be able to manipulate people to that extent!! Also didnt think ESTJ and ENTJ to be that low, I dont know the types that much but I thought they would try to control those around them more often to finish work faster and be more productive but I guess its not as often as I thought.
Anyways I can very much agree with the INFJ being highly likely to manipulate since I know myself how manipulative I can be (Without fail even) that it makes me really guilty sometimes. Because of how observant I am with people, sometimes its quite easy to see a pattern as to how people will react and what theyll be doing next in certain situations- Back then I used to take advantage of this and stir conversations to my favor (since thats when I usually "manipulate" people). Its amazes me every time how people actually end up doing what I wanted every single time! It felt amazing. Although at the back of my head I knew that was I was doing was extremely wrong and manipulative that I really had to stop. And I did, although none of them were harmful or aggressive I still think about how satisfying the times I have manipulated people so easily... (still wrong tho)
I swear by this.
Once again, Nathan, I am compelled to applaud your capability to understand a type as complex as an INTJ, because I have never in my life seen a human truly understand me in terms of behaviour, even though in my eyes I am an extremely simple person!
Anywho, I'd love to have you as my psychiatrist haha. If you ever consider it, I will wholeheartedly support the idea.
I am about to graduate med school, so if you do opt towards a more medical career, there is a possibility we could get into an alliance, as I already favour you quite much.
Now onto the video. It is the easiest thing to lie or manipulate to get what you want or fool others so that you are provided an easy life, but even thinking of acting on it disappoints my sense of principles and humanity. If in a situation lying will get me out easily, I still find it difficult to lie, but not impossible if the situation is dire.
It may otherwise be assumed that INTJs are master manipulators, but we just dont find manipulation more important than our own moral conduct.
So once again, you nailed it on the head.
"The only thing ISTPs hate more than manipulation is...manipulating." Spot on. We CAN do it but absolutely refuse.
INTP can confirm Machiavellian scheming is for those that lack the eloquence and civility or discourse. But most of us can use it when needed.
Yeah it'll be very tiring for us...
It's pretty accurate what you said about the INFP, I can so easily see how people work and i have extreme potential to manipulate any given situation without people having a clue, but my heart would never let me do that, guilt would be unbearable!. i can also read xNFJs like an open book while being immune to their manipulation tactics.
I got what you meant by the video. But I think that most people will cherry pick between manipulation and mentioning a certain type. Mostly because people usually associate the word manipulation with ‘getting what I want’. And, in most cases, this is unfortunately what most people do. However, a further explanation would be much appreciated. Because, as an INFJ I am getting tired of people forming stereotypical opinions of either manipulative (as they see it, aka. getting what one wants), or having no opinion because the type can ‘blend in’. Neither of these are true. Personally, I am highly opinionated and I make my own mind and reach my own conclusion after careful thinking. And, let’s address the manipulative part in order for people to understand it. I have recently realized that my approach to people is similar to the one psychologists use. In psychology, it is referred to as REBT (Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy). The aim is to rationalize our thoughts (but, in broader context, it does influence our behavior and personal growth). This is what an INFJ (and ENFJ) is mostly likely to do. And the aim is far from getting what one wants. It’s helping people reach a conclusion and a version of themselves that uses a rational approach.
Underrated comment
I feel like ISFP and INFP should be in the sometimes category. Also, I feel like ENFP and ENTP got off too easy as well😂 ENxPs should be right up there with us xNFJs. All just based on my own personal experiences. Also, INTP has a sneaky side too! They aren’t as good at it as they think they are. INFPs and ISFPs aren’t so great at being sneaky either. The ENxPs however, seem to be super tricky and sneaky! And they’re verrrry natural with it too.
Agreed ENFP are so freakin manipulative!
Thank you! I just watched one video about ENFPs and he made us sound like the most manipulative (in a negative sense) people on the planet. But I just don’t see it. Yes, we can be if we’re unhealthy. But in general I don’t think we like or even want to manipulate others.
Perhaps it's something that ENFPs are capable of and it comes out when they're unhealthy or in a bad place. Generally I would totally agree though that ENFPs are definitely not manipulative ~ Nathan
An INTP here and I find that this description is pretty accurate. I have always been good at manipulating people because I analyze them and know exactly what reaction or response I will get from certain things I say or do. I know that most people learn this as children and can manipulate on a basic level, but I can predict everything down to what the exact words someone will say are. This is something I tend to stay away from doing even though it comes naturally, mostly because it’s against my moral code. With the exception of doing it to get people to like me again after they get mad at me for being too blunt or cranky towards them. Or if I don’t want to do something. I do actually really enjoy studying manipulation techniques, but out of fascinating and the desire to know and understand it more than anything.
As an Infj I can say that I am definitely pretty manipulative, even if I don't understand it at the moment..
Chaos monkey is such a great description for an ENFP at their lowest.
I'm an isfp and I manipulate people into seeing themselves for what they are and how much they limit they're own potential by holding an attachment to the ego given to them by others, rather than creating themselves. It either ends in a mental breakdown and fear of my presence, or a master of one's own self. It's a hobby of mine. I scare fake people straight, or into a corner exposing the demon they have made themselves into. When I look at many people around me I see a sticky infectious wound under a surface of mundane over simplicity and I see a disgusting lie, falsely justified by the fact that "everyone else does it too". It's not okay, its not realistic, it's not right. Whether you see me as idealistic or not, REALISTICALLY and OBJECTIVELY it Doesn't work and it is completely dysfunctional and a product of failure and denial. If it feels mundane, chances are its wrong. If your miserable, don't accept it, don't just "accept" anything for that matter.
I was actually quite intrigued by the reasoning behind the positioning of each type and it made me reconsider how I use/view my own functions in regards to manipulation as well. Very well put. - INFJ
As an INFP, I am /intimately/ aware of my potential for being able to manipulate others, and absolutely never abusing that potential is one of the core principles that I hold--and I suspect my fellow INFPs also feel the same.
When I was going through an incredibly dark period in my life, my unhealthy traits came out and hurt those closest to me. I'm grateful they stuck around to help me out of the hole I was struggling to get out of.
As an INFP, I've seen the damage that can be done through negative manipulative behavior and I never want to let it out of its cage again. It feels so inauthentic and cheap. I couldn't bare to hurt someone like that again.
@@BarryManders Saaaaame ;_;
a fellow ISFP here feels the same
Infj manipulate in a positive way. I trick my friends into working out and eating healthier. Things they normally wouldn’t do without me but I make it seem as if it were their idea
As an ENFP I never could conceptualize how one would manipulate because I thought, "we all are so different and nuanced moment to moment yet also so much the same on the whole."
And then I started learning typology and there was a moment last spring where things clicked and I could see people's motives and I was like "ooooh God this is a terrifying amount of power I do not like this." So uh, yes. I could do it and I could do it quite well but I'm a bit too transparent to allow it to happen. If I have influence on people I want them to know what they're walking into and walk into freely.
Fellow ENFP here. You're absolutely spot on! Especially what you said about people walking into it freely. I can put on a facade when I need to, but only for a short while before it becomes too draining to keep up with. So I avoid doing it, it's a last resort kind of thing. It's much easier to just let my freak flag fly and I've found that it makes others around you feel welcome to just be themselves as well.
The power of manipulation _usually_ doesn't jive well with our Fi. Our Ne and Te, though, make it entirely possible for us to manipulate people if we so desire.
@@Chigger as an esfp, I agree. Especially with Fi in that auxiliary “responsible” position. Hard to be authentic if you are manipulating people. Glad Nathan put us low in the list :)
@@sirbradfordofhousejones My younger sister's an ESFP. She hates manipulating people despite her natural charisma and outgoingness; she much rather prefers to try to make people feel better.
In my experience (INFJ dad and ENFJ mom) and based of what i have heard from others including INFJs. (Bear in mind this is about tendencies and how an *unhealty* personality would manifest in an INFJ type.)
Unhealty INFJ hands down mops the floor with ENFJ when it comes to manipulating.
They are very competent like ENFJ but are also unlike ENFJ partly cabable to reduce their feelings/empathy (they cant disable it allmost completely like ISTP tend to be able too through).
But that makes INFJ partly immune to guilt and shame a point where ENFJ are very vulnerable!!
INFJ are also unlike ENFJ extremely secretive and tend to be more cynical and uncareing about social reputation (like ISTP)
Bacikally ENFJ and INFJ have about the same potential, but allmost nothing holds bad INFJs back, and this combined with their deffensiveness can make bad/corrupted INFJs EXTREMELY potent at manipulation that only the most tough, socially uncareing and cynical manipulation ressistant types (like ISTP, INTJ, INTP and mabye a few others) would stand a chance to resist.
-ISTP
Couldn't agree more! They really need to hop on the train of self-development asap
@@kaspervendler1726 this is pretty scathing stuff. Don't you think you're generalising a bit? I wouldn't characterise any type as tending to be anything near that negative.
@@SubtleAscension No not really, but i can tell you that there are also LOTs of positive stuff to say about INFJs, and even the "bad" ones, if you did care to hear for a more nuanced perspective, however since people are usually only interested in the bad stuff, i did not tell.
@@kaspervendler1726 So I think there's actually a good few grains of truth in what you're saying that might be fun to explore. But when I read "They tend to be inauthentic vulnerable narcissists with an enormous moral superiority complex", or that INFJs are nearly immune to shame, guilt, social reputation, and that almost nothing holds us back..? You lose me at that point. Might you be extrapolating a single individual to represent the whole group?
@@kaspervendler1726 And just to add, no disrespect intended. I don't doubt for a second that your description fits whoever it's aimed at; I just don't think it's fair to tar every INFJ with that brush.
As an INTP, I can find myself having to manipulate people when I consider that they are making errors of judgement that will hurt them too significantly to ignore. I think of it more as a gentle hand on the tiller rather than manipulation however.
As an INTJ surrounded by ISFPs and INFPs, I’ve seen them use it much more often than expected, but in a very inoffensive way or in a more « Trying to save my ass » way, rarely in other situations tho.
I am INFJ and I despise manipulative people and have great difficulty manipulating people to like me. It must have been because in my upbringing I was very isolated and never learned social skills.
My mother's an ESFJ, and I don't think she's manipulative at all. She's actually been very manipulaBLE, and it's caused a lot of pain and struggle in her life. Maybe it's the lack of Ni. I do think Fe + Ni is the most potent combo for manipulation. But Fe without enough Ni to see through people and their machinations can sometimes lend itself to being a little naive or to having that Fe need to please and be validated taken advantage of.
My mother has great social skills, but she has never been very good when it comes to deeper insights into people. Likewise, while she does do the Fe thing of conforming and being friendly and pleasant to everyone, there's really never any manipulativeness about it. Her only real motives are being social and people-loving, and having a strong sense of social decorum that she adheres to (and would like everyone to adhere to), even if she doesn't always like/approve of the individuals she interacts with and might sometimes talk about them behind their back.
I can agree with you, but ESFJs can be very manipulative with their Si & Fe (knowing from facts how to change situations for people). The ESFJ’s focus for manipulation might not be on Ni (future), but instead on repeating facts for the tribe.
Every INFP I know has admitted to me that they use manipulation regularly in some way or another. I disagree with your ranking of them specifically because of that. (They don't use it maliciously to be clear but do still use it.)
Always love these analysis videos of yours. I find your explanation to be accurate and what I've actually thought of how everyone would be in the category. As an INFP, I find the INFP explaination very spot on. I write songs and they're mostly about others and what they've been through from 'their perspective', but everyone who listens to them say it sounded super personal. And I do work in creative field so it kinda goes well for me ig. When you say "on the dark side they do it but they're so good people don't notice and it's scary to think about," it's super true haha :D. My high school once made us do a personality test done by a psychologist to know what college majors would match us, and they also analyze our characters. One of my demerit was "highly manipulative" lol.
As an infp raised by an INFJ and an ENTP I know how to spot manipulation and I know how to manipulate people myself, yet I try to not to do it often since it follows with a immense guilt
Two standing ovations here!
1. Thank you for pointing out that manipulation is not always bad. In a way, almost all of human interaction could be viewed as manipulative. Even genuinely saying I love you has the intent to make the other person understand you love them. I like that you pointed out how its not always BAD. A good leader needs to "manipulate" people into working together and being inspired. Well done to point out what few do!
2. Spot on for INTP. The rocket flying around without anyone behind the wheel that is our unbridled curiosity absolutely bumps into the phenomena of human behavior and manipulation, however, we rarely use it as we prefer truth and honesty. Mostly, I find myself using it in certain areas of life where I'm trying to avoid extroverted people, "Oh hah hah, I KNOW right, I'm so happy for the holiday too I have so much cleaning to do....which is totally why I can't make it to your BBQ." And then I run off to be alone and undisturbed in my world.
If I'm manipulating you, it's for your own good.
Absolutely confirm that as an INTP, I consider social skills and social graces to be highly distasteful and exercising them on unsuspecting people in any other context except experimentation makes me feel contempt for both my victims and myself. The more effective my social skills are, the greater contempt I feel.
I liked before even watching 😆
yes .. helps you not to forget
Lol it's like a ritual at this point
@@ZNIR777 sammeee
INFJ. I have recognized and was a bit intimidated in my youth by my ability to manipulate or even emotionally hurt people with incise accuracy. But since my motivation is almost always to benefit the person or to benefit us both, I see it as a good (but sometimes underutilized) skill. I don't get offended easily, but I would not want to be a person who ticked me off and that I considered worthy of my bother. Would almost certainly be due to something I considered a higher cause or ethical standard.
I love leading teams of people with different motivations. I may not be as good of a manager or charismatic leader as some, but I believe I am skilled at bringing a diverse team of individuals together to enthusiastically pursue a common goal for their individual reasons. I have been praised for my ability to work with difficult people and to bring managers into corporate objectives that no one thought they would ever buy into or even cooperate with.
I love the conclusion that we ISFJs tend to manipulate for the good of the other person. It’s so flipping true. 😆 “Just trust me! It’s for your own good!”
INFP here. I've been known to manipulate my family and coworkers on occasion, but I myself don't know I did it until after the fact, in retrospect. Perhaps it's a habit I developed long ago that's now so ingrained in the way I converse with others that I don't catch it until it's done?
Whether people are aware of my doing it, I couldn't say, but I do know I don't ever intend harm by it. I typically find myself manipulating people into giving me information about them or about a situation, and I use that information to understand the person better to more fluently know how to interact with them.
Every ESFP I know comes across as highly manipulative. They typically have a distortion field that tries to make you feel like the most important person in the room while they are talking to you. Often name dropping to impress and asking more of others than they have any right to while showering you with compliments. They tend to come and go on their own whim regardless of prior arrangements. Many act first then ask forgiveness afterwards when called out. The general impression I'm left with is disingenuousness. They clearly don't like being called out yet behave as if you hadn't minutes later (gaslighting). The ENFP on the other hand is always negotiating. It doesn't matter on what, it doesn't always have to make sense. Interestingly, ENFP are often easily manipulated by telling them they shouldn't do something. Their fear of missing out takes over and they simply must do the thing they were told not to do. As for the ENFJ, most only use their powers for good or the good of the community/group (as they see it). It's helpful to remember however, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions.
ISFPs do this as well, its that charisma, and something to do with people pleasing. They will play your emotions to sway you to their opinions on a topic. Yet they seem to be the first too freak out if someones emotionally unstable, like they are out of their control mechanisms and this scares them haha
As an INFP, sometimes I can sit in a room and hear a conversation and can feel certain tensions that arise when someone says this or if someone is sending a subliminal message to the other person. Sometimes I'm just sitting there like, "No, they shouldn't say that" and "Okay, now that they've said that, they should say this". I feel like if I were able to give this insight to people like my parents while they were in the middle of a conversation (that I wasn't really supposed to be eavesdropping on) then I could've helped avert so many arguments. I find it hard to believe how many misunderstandings there are because people don't seem to be able to interpret more than what they just hear. It almost seems like people purposely don't care to actually consider if one thing that might have been accidentally said the wrong way was meant for that effect or another, when I can easily tell during a conversation if someone is saying something to offend me or not really to offend me but it just sounded that way. If I'm unsure, I can just steer the conversation in a way that reveals the person's intent behind the statement in question.
Once, I actually used this when I was in a conversation with a close friend and someone else, who I didn't like, personally, but my friend considered a friend. It wasn't me trying to be possessive or just trying to tear apart a relationship, but I saw right through the subliminal attacks and insults that my friend sometimes seemed to catch on to but wasn't so sure and I wanted them to see it for what it was. I used this to steer the conversation in a way that they began reveal so much, by the end of the conversation, they had been so exposed, that they were just openly attacking and insulting. Meanwhile, they had revealed so many things that they didn't have to say specifically where I could point out to them their intent and insecurities and excuses they were hiding behind to justify their behavior.
So, to sum it up, INFPs can be very manipulative, even if it's not with malicious intent. It's usually to get a deeper understanding of the person we are communicating with without them knowing because it's easier if someone opens up to you when their unaware. However, if you've held at least one conversation with an INFP, or were even overheard, we've more than unlikely unraveled you and know what makes you tick, what satisfies you, what makes you lose character, and your insecurities, even if you're holding up the façade, we know what's breaking behind it. That's why, in an argument INFP's can be your worst nightmare.
As an INTP, I think I am the most likely to spot manipulation and not get affected by it at all. However, it's seldom that I myself have to manipulate.
Its true but dont get cocky. From my ex, you get caught when you feel intouchable.
Fellow intp
Id put ISFP up into likely or highly likely coz my brothers got a serious talent to be manipulative due to his charisma, his very slick at it, in a way many dont pick up on. My ESFJ mother almost accidentally manipulates to get her way at times, not so planned her version. My dads and I as an ISTP and ESTJ aren't manipulative what so ever, were way too honest and direct to be. We would tell you were being manipulative when we are and make a joke of it. So I'd say our types are in rarely category. Most people I know who are manipulative are people with self esteem issues, so most confident thinkers are usually too honest to need to manipulate. Were more likely to offend people with our honesty then ever need to stealth it out with manipulation, we dont seek approval like other types.
I know someone who's an ISFP and is one of the most manipulative people I've met.. even though most probably aren't, they definitely can be manipulative
Yes!
I agree completely! They are soooooo manipulative
If they are seen as manipulate than they are probably one of the worst when it comes to manipulating if you know what I mean
ISTJs can be extremely manipulative but they are the ones whose manipulations go unnoticed. They are also good at detecting manipulation. Highly underrated.
As an INFP, I kind of feel bad that ENFJs are considered to be manipulative by many. Hmmm I have come across 1 or 2 ENFJs who were manipulative but I find most of them to be adorable and personally they have been very helpful and nice towards me.
But the ENTP! You can offend the ENFJ to stop! But the ENTP I knew would come up with one scenario after another to try to manipulate me! And since that ENTP was very unhealthy, would do things without an iota of guilt or conscience. And as I don’t like conflict I kept avoiding it and not addressing it. But it was a great learning for me to see how some people can be and how I have to stand up for myself.
Have to agree with INFJs. Have come across some manipulative ones but I have a good friend who is an INFJ as well.
As Nathan has said, manipulation isn't necessarily bad. I know that my ENFJ friend will calculate their move to ensure people are feeling good.
@@ZNIR777 yes, you’re right on that 👍😊
Are you kidding me? They are one of the most manipulative types! I know because my sister is one. Man I'd avoid Enfjs, they can convince you white is black.
@@sash8099 Then throw an INFJ at them, thats their cryptonite in terms of manipulation.
@@sash8099 haha! Okie then! I better meet the ENFJs who are not that manipulative!
But I understand what you’re saying. One of my relatives (ENFJ) used to be manipulative but as years passed by, either she has become balanced or I need to be more aware.
I am an INFJ and what he said is true. We can be very good at manipulating BUT we only do it when we finally realized that we are inside the game that the other person created. Because of this realization we lose the intimacy to the person, shut down our emotions towards them and play along.
What you say about using ti to splice fe is true with intps. I can intellectually understand but rarely bother to act it out.
I honestly don't know how we do it but somehow we are almost always on the top of these videos. I'm not sure how I feel about that. ENFJ
That's true , the most manipulative people i met were INFJs
Same
Omg why ? I have infj new friend haha
@@yhalou4526 same and she's not really manipulative lol
INFPs and ISFPs in my experience
I'm an INFJ and I would say that's totally true. Sometimes I think how easy it is for me to manipulate people! I was extremely manipulative before but after getting conscious about it, I try to control it.
clicking on this video as an INFJ and already feeling attacked ahahahhaha even though i havent fully watched yet lololol
Ditto as an ENFJ
As an INFP, I sometimes worry that I'm being manipulative on accident just because I'm good at phrasing things in a way that will be more receptive to the other person. My mom always told me you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, so I've learned that HOW you say something matters more than what you say. For example, if you order someone to get you a pencil, there's a much greater likelihood that that will trigger a defensive and defiant response. People don't generally like to be told what to do. However, if you say could you please get me a pencil with a calm and sweet tone of voice you are FAR more likely to get them to actually give it to you. It's not always about getting my way or whatever, sometimes it's just that people won't actually take the time to listen to your side of an issue if you come at them in the wrong way. So is that manipulative? I never do it maliciously or to try to control people.... merely to keep peace and not cause unnecessary conflict or to get someone to actually listen to my position regardless of whether or not they agree with it. My husband is an INTJ. He sometimes can be manipulative to other people. It doesn't really work on me, but he has said that S's are easier to manipulate than N's in his experience. He says it's helpful sometimes at work to subtly get people to do what he wants, but it's always for the greater good of his department lol. He swears he uses his powers for good and not for evil lol