Bruiser - IT Guy
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- Опубліковано 14 гру 2010
- Matt Holness in the IT Department in sketches from the short-lived, one-series-only sketch show 'Bruiser' (2000) starring Olivia Colman, Martin Freeman, Matt Holness, Charlotte Hudson, David Mitchell and Robert Webb.
All clips are from episode 4.
**Updated the captions on this one. Use automatic captions if you want a giggle at the sad state of voice recognition, otherwise please use the English captions I've loaded (and please let me know if there are any mistakes - I don't know enough about IT to transcribe all the jargon) - Комедії
I've worked in IT for years. There is always, always a guy like this. Sometimes he's great and sometimes he's a nightmare. But he's always there.
definitely, the metal t shirt, the condescending tone, the inability to read social queues and general low eq, high opinion of themselves, were probably known as 'gifted' in school and secretly wore it as a badge of pride whilst outwardly showing contempt. i know this person very well
@@michael8815 yes, but a lot of the time they are... right. I listened to one of these and he was actually correct, just socially inept.
A comic book guy for the tech age
@@michael8815 "eq" isnt a thing you mong
@@michael8815 never met any metal fans that bragged about being gifted in school, the fuck are you on about
"Will the whole system be shagged or can you toss it off?" LMFAO
your nana
That's actually some pretty genius writing. I didn't get the joke at first
@@jamesramplin8124 i don't get it i'm not a native speaker. mind explaining?
@@GrumpyStormtrooper "Will the whole system be shagged or can you toss it off'
'Will it fuck the system or can you masturbate with it instead'
'To toss off' here having the double meaning of to wank/masturbate and also mean to throw as in 'throw it onto another system instead'
@@GrumpyStormtrooper "Will the whole system be shagged or can you toss it off?" = "Will the whole system be fucked or can you jerk it off?" = "Will the whole system be down or can you fix it?"
I tell you what, that guy knows his shit.
Mr2at your brain must be ass if you think he knows his shit.
bluestate69 Do you make or sell MC2000's
Mr2at
no. they are nice though! i just have dj & music software. i don't own any equipment like MC2000's.
bluestate69 So all your other equipment is good then?
arse, mate. arse.
The funny thing is that "'tickle tee-kay" (Tcl Tk) is actually a real programming language. They've done their homework, and not bolloxed up the script with a complete pile of arsewank.
wat
I love the fact that your name itself causes the same reaction to me.
Antares Maelstrom
That's a joke reserved for the Germans.
oi oxycominum also a coldmirror fan?
we all love fresh dumbledore.
"We know it's wank, so let's isolate the wanky components"
I just read this as he saud it
This is legitimately a tactic in programming.
What, dewank the system whilst it's live?
/Scoff...
Your data will be leaking like a year old cyst and stinking up the place even worse!
I work in IT and have a colleague that speaks exactly like this. He's very funny but incredibly abrasive and most definitely rubs a lot of people the wrong way.
Flippant Phantom You can get a cream for that.
Ultimately he should be grateful that employees aren't super computer literate. It means job security for him. Yes, people can do incredibly stupid things on computers, but if everybody knew how to manage their system/keep it secure there'd be far less need for IT professionals.
Yeah and if everyone were electricians there wouldn't be a need for electricians, and if everyone were lawyers there wouldn't be a need for lawyers. Jesus christ. This comment is the most tired drivel I ever hear about IT guys. "WELL IF PEOPLE KNEW A BIT MORE ABOUT COMPUTERS YOU'D NEVER NEED ANYONE WORKING WITH IT! SO IT GUYS SHOULD COUNT THEMSELVES LUCKY!" In accordance with the sketch: That's the biggest bit of wank I've ever heard.
@@staley101 So what if he rubbed people the right way? That would also get a cream for that.
@@nintendo9231889 baby oil? 😋
This is all I could think of when hearing Colin in Bandersnatch
I just thought that watching this. Was looking for a comment of someone saying the same.
@@neutrallynonsensical3477 Why? Were you feeling a bit lonely, you ghastly drevastry?
I loved him in Sherlock.
Why does he sound the exact same 😂 I can’t ignore it now
That episode was a load pisspodge bollock belly knob wank
I saw this guy at the speedway, he was bombing it round and he hit a ramp and I was like he's definitely dead. But he landed on his wheels and rode away.
So what were you all worried about?
He should take up Formula 1.
Why, he’s making a shitload of money off computers?
Love this reference
@@shmeagol I don't think he would survive if he did that with F1
“Let’s isolate the wanky components” that a great line that should be used regularly in business
And in media script critique 🤣
"Now, we know this movie is wank, but let's isolate the wanky components"
In my company all the wanky components are already isolated - they are known as C-Suite (and they are a complete bunch of wanker fucktard arsehats!)
My mate has a shirt that sums up the software development cycle perfectly.
1. I can't fix this
2. Crisis of confidence
3. Questions career
4. Questions life
5. Oh, it was just a typo. Cool.
Just summed me up
That's perfect haha where can I get one?
Going for a diploma of programming right now and I can attest to this lmao
Laughed so hard at this - this week I re worked a huge bunch of code after a brilliant idea. Completely fucked it, couldn't work out why until I found the single missing letter! Joy.
I wear one during family birthdays "no, i will not fix your computer"
The most common language in computer science? Profanity.
There is a reason it is called a "cursor".
This applies to nearly all blue-collar workers.
@noxxi knox roger that eeeeh fuckin pal
@@Garenzo314 - You see Computer Science as 'blue-collar' work?
@@neilaspin008 I said profanity is also used heavily in blue collar work. No.
hes an author, dreamweaver, it guy, visionary plus actor
Its funny cause the "IT guy" in this plays the IT guy in the Office alongside Martin Freeman
well spotted
Matthew Holness, aka Garth Marenghi, alongside Matt Berry (Who was Douglas Renholm in IT Crowd) and Richard Ayoade (Moss in IT Crowd).
It was great they 'brought him back' since Bruiser is less well-known. Too good a character not to be seen.
The idea for the character actually originated in these sketches. Ricky Gervais was one of the writers on this show
Martin Freeman runs an it company in another movie.
"So...it's a twat, but a flexible twat." :D
Olivia Coleman as an IT nerd is adorable !
IT guy:"Yeah and I hate my job too."
Friend:"Then why do you stay then?"
IT guy:"I get to swear to anyone I want. It's in my contract."
The insane suggestion that you consult your IT guy before investing in computers.
As an IT professional, I can confirm that this is how we hire new people
Oi, no professionals!
I worked for a guy like this. Literally filled in words he couldn’t remember with random insults. Actually learned a fair few insults I didn’t know.
My first day working in a server support team, I learnt a new insult as one of the team referred to the IT director as a 'spacktard'.
Garth really did his homework for this role. Fantastic.
Not particularly
@@SufferDYT, It is for Garth.
You mean Matt? Which is of course, his name.....
its okay man, I get the reference
get out of my house. no, i will.
I went to an IT store, and told them I care to purchase a piece of wank producing bollocks, tossing to be shagged later, when not all the chips are twats . They didn't quite know what I meant, but generally approved of my line of thinking.
Me too. They offered me a Mac.
This guy definitely on 4chan.
He is a /g/entooman
Peep Show, The Office, Dark place, all right there 🤯👍
'I can bodge it with some motherboards'
This makes no sense.
Yet I find myself saying stuff like this on a regular basis.
The accuracy is incredible.
Gets funnier and funnier, and the cast get younger and younger, with every rewatch
What he was trying to say was, "turn it off and on again."
lol
nah, reinstall adobe reader mate, works a piece of piss
iM3GTR “...Have you tried turning it off and on again?” 😂
English Teacher: Please read this romantic novel for your homework
Class: What page are we starting from again?
English Teacher: All that jizz on page 44
Matt Holness is criminally underrated.
nah he's pure trash
Nah,
He is an author, visionary, dream weaver.
Plus actor.
Bon Apetit
Yeah. I guess maybe he's not marketable enough. He does seem to only have one character, as the IT guys and Garth Marengh are very similar.
Naturally funny, but perhaps not a broad range.
@@timothyspool1399 Watch Man to Man with Dean Learner and tell me Matt Holness only has one character.
“Welcome aboard” pure partridge right there lol.
One of my programming lecturers introduced Javascript to us as ‘utter bollocks but for some reason people still use it’
Matt is EXACTLY like actual IT geeks. Han Solo confident in the office, cringing babies in the street.
Who knew Garth Marenghi was so good with computers?
To be fair, he had taken the novel as far as it could go.
I bet Dean Lerner is a whiz with PowerPoint.
Expert at dreamweaver
He’s making shit loads out of computers now
He’s the IT guy in the office as well
Sounds like a straightforward guy.
Ozoneocean MJM I
I remember overhearing an IT guy at my sixth form college back in 2001 talking to my tutor and google cane up in conversation. He then went on to say “Google’s rubbish, it’s just what the kiddies play with”.
Correct. Ask Jeeves is much better.
@@gengarwarrior6802 I mean... if you want complete privacy but also completely shit search results, yeah...
@@MarioAtheonio The results are exactly the same
@@MarioAtheonio I love it. Just pages and pages of spam links
They're still like that and pontificate on how DuckDuckGo is so superior even though it finds fuck all, but at least it does it secretly.
Wow! I can't believe Tim & the IT guy were already characters before the office! Thanks for posting.
As an IT guy who's recently started work, I can confirm this is how most of us are, not without good reason however. When some jobsworth without an ounce of understanding of the shit we work with is responsible for supplying it then makes your job unnecessarily harder when it could be a piece of piss, it starts to grind your gears a bit. On the first day, I remember wanting to get something updated and telling the lead about it being outdat- "CALL IT LIKE IT IS MATE, A STEAMING PILE OF SHITE"
"If our IT guys were like this...life would be awesome."
IT guys *are* like this... behind your backs.
i think we all know someone like him...
***** IE Someone who works in IT and suffers the inept decisions of people who don't consult them?
+Daemoshiin Belmont
Try, "victims of the Salem Hypothesis".
+Daemoshiin Belmont Or maybe some prat who only sees things in terms of IT.
He doesn't even use a single IT term.
+Daemoshiin Belmont I'm pretty sure twat is a heavily used part of I.T terminology mate...
"Hymen's a heap of shit." is where I usually lose it.
I like to think that this guy has no authority position in the company but he gets away with swearing at management because he’s the best at his job.
If Gordon Ramsey worked in IT.
+Is this pc frozen
-Yes
+FUCK ME!!!
And the surprise is....
THE FILE IS FUCKIN' .RAR!
Good god man, how old are these updates?!?
Hahahah
@@altansirin5830 xD
That last sketch makes it obvious that this is a really helpful and genuine person at heart, and not a pisswank arsewipe like so many cocking people in this world.
the vocabulary is surprisingly impressive
It’s a load of arsewank and I wouldn’t have it any other way
"Redo the toss about PCs. I know it's wank, but if they want arse, let's give it to 'em"
Pardon?
This is like my computer science teacher
The further I progress in my IT career the more often I find myself starting explanations to non-techies with "basically it's a bag of shit/bollocks/wank/arse"... Art really does imitate life
Funny how Martin Freeman and Olivia Coleman both played second fiddle in Mitchell & Webb comedy shows and now they are both much bigger actors
That's the point, they are real actors. Very good ones at that. Mitchell & Webb are more of a 'comedy duo' that cannot really act. All of them have different skills that they 'bring to the table' as it were.
@@DJ_Dopamine I'd beg to differ. I think David and Rob are excellent actors but in a more realistic down to earth way that lends itself to TV series and television, even if they don't have the stardom like influence and quality of Coleman and Freeman.
@@DJ_Dopamine stupidest comment on UA-cam to date. Verified this day
They are great character actors
And so did Matt Holness who also appeared alongside Freeman in the office
This is like the original version of the office uk with Matt Holness and Martin Freeman
theres so many good people in this show
I enjoy how he's not even trying to be imposing and horrible he's just extremely crass
We need a full series of this. Matt Holness is well overdue for a revival
Like from season 2 onwards of the office where he plays a very similar role
As someone who breathes IT, this speaks to me
What are F drives?
Floppy drive presumably.
Or the "F:" Drive if they're on a network with several drives/NAS. Of course this was 2000 when floppy drives were still relevant.
@@user-iq3xc5gc1f That's device letter A, for MShite systems. A and B are floppy drives, C is the first harddrive, and next are CD/DVD/Bluray shite. Get Linux you wanker
As someone who “breaths IT” did you enjoy the “bodging it with some motherboards” bit?
Fun fact time: Basically this same character (played by the same actor) appears in The Office, which was made at the same time as this show. This show was also written in part by Ricky Gervais, who of course stars/directs/writes The Office.jeez I sound like the it guy himself
Haha, I thought this was that guy! I can't hear his voice without thinking about Way of the Dragon vs Enter the dragon.
As a Cisco technician, coming into work after a holiday and seeing the state of the unattained server while you were gone makes me spiritually link to this man. only we understand Elis, Only we,
Hi I’m a Cisco engineer as well.
@@oscargrainger2962 Hello brother
@@hakanzackrisson5867 - I’m teaching it now, got out of the office a couple of years ago.
I just love the look on his face when he turns round at 0.06 :D
Ah this is IT Guy before he was in The Office. The birth of a character.
That feel when you're a software engineer who owns that exact Motorhead shirt.
I now understand why the IT guy is always the least liked at anyone's work environment. They literally don't speak your language and they are tired of translating your bullshit into a language that makes more sense to them
as a dev; the problem is that i end up wasting time translating my work into normal language.
like my boss wants to report my work but i'm like. how. i considered just printing out git log and handing it over.
tech people in the comments; how do you do it?
True, they always seem to speek Hindi
Karma has come full circle though. There are now so many of them, the market is flooded and they have to bbehave. In the past they couldf refusse to dress properly, swear and be rude because they were indespensible, with 30 years of graduates and Fiverr etc they are now learning they have overshot themselves
I work as an IT Guy and this is very recognizable.
A lot of time when solving someones issue, they ask what exaclty was wrong. You soon learn that when you try to explain it to them, you have to use waay too much IT specific terms that the average user probably doesn't understand. So eventually you just get creative with language as to not sound like a complete nerd giving out useless information.
i loved everything about the theme " IT guy says: uhm, basically that's shit"
tcl/tk reference :D I would never have expected it.
it's complete stringly-typed bollocks, how do you un-bodge the bitch?
"Perl is a piss of roll piss". Couldn't agree more.
a piece of raw piss...
@@cahan557 Indeed. Now I hear it.
This guy is really good at making me hate the characters he plays, its a real talent😂
His performance made me hate all his character's coworkers and customers, while respecting the character all the more for putting up with such ass knob foster clocks on a daily wanking basis. Such is the emotional complexity of this man's performance.
I'm a software developer and this is extremely accurate.
Isn't it? Fellow dev here, isolating wanky components and fucking the chips on a daily basis.
@@Fodi_be Yeah, and bodging it with some motherboards all day long.
I saw Matt Holness once inside a sandwich eatery. I wanted to shout "Look out he's got a gun" but the other diners would have sh*t their w*nk.
By far my favourite bruiser sketch
Wow, great cast.
The nomanclature is spot on.
Amazing, this wouldn't of been far off when Martin & Matt did this same thing almost exactly in the Office
The weird thing is, I don't really understand computers, yet this perfectly illustrates my experiences with them.
That last section with the job interview is lowkey wholesome!
Nice to see how successful a lot of the alumni are today
The best part is where the woman hesitates to mention her experience in Java... Sublime.
I have a hunch that this might've been intented to make fun of the IT guy, but I prefer to pretend that it's making fun of all the other people around him. It's trivial for me to picture an office where the decision makers know absolutely squat about what they are doing, and the IT guy gets stuck with the results of their whims unless he can talk sense into them in time.
+Vestin I think that's what is so good about this. It takes the piss out of both sides, but only you can see it taking the piss out of the side you're not on.
+Vestin It's not really mocking her though, is it? It's more of an inside joke for people who have done some programming and can understand her hesitation? Or am I missing something?
so. I have done programming. Why would she hesitate with java?
Because Java is wank.
+Darren R
Remember that this is from the year 2000. Back then Java was slow, due to the the worse hardware, necessity of a JVM and lack of optimization of the latter.
It also was quite hated for not supporting stuff like pointers and it was quite unusual to be forced that heavily into writing object-oriented. Essentially it was seen as a programming language for beginners. (And to some degree it still is.)
In short: Java is wank.
"Your favourite computer geek is here".
I used to work in an IT department...and there was a guy EXACTLY like this. Brings back memories.
Matthew Holness is too funny, shame we dont see much of him since Garth Mergengi Darkplace!
Oh god! I've just discovered this but this was exactly my job but I couldn't swear xD
this sketched fathered The Office and Peep Show
And some aspects of the it croud
@@kirkmunro8807 not really in any other way than it is about IT...
@@Jojozilla426 I meant with the over exaggerated sarcasm
@@kirkmunro8807 but the guy in this sketch wasnt sarcastic once...
One character in the office, yes, but not peep show - different dynamic, different writers.
I had no idea Bruiser had such an all star cast
Well- don’t want to sound like a smug wanker but - they were just starting out so at the time they weren’t a ‘star cast’ - nobody knew them !
it was the training ground
I love the way Martin Freeman asks "will the whole system go down?" and the IT guy doesn't get him. David Mitchell then asks " will the whole system be shagged or can you toss it off" and the IT guy understands him.
Matt Holness more or less played the same character in The Office.
And then him and Martin Freeman did this routine all over again for the office
its funny how well it resemble my work experience in current job
What a line up
This had some big names in it, I've never seen such a blend of UK evening comedy
He was amazing in the office.
He’s very direct and transparent. Good to have around
Hmmmm my experience with these people that they exaggerate a lot. So you are never sure what to believe.
I get the feeling that there are only about 20 actors on British TV. If it ain’t broke....
wow - Olivia Coleman
This is my favourite scene from Black Mirror: Bandersnatch
Ned and Molly Colin is my favourite character in this
Mark Corrigan and Tim Canterbury in the same office. Amazing!
this is great - had me in stiches for nearly ten minutes (cuz I watched it three times back to back)
the last minute of that clip was definitely my interview when i got hired LOL
"Disc Magazine says they're superb!"
"Disc Magazine's for knobheads."
That line always gets me
That is great, I've never seen this before. Very good !!!
I love the Tcl Tk joke that's hilarious
Favourite line is "I know its wank but if they want arse let's give it to them" 😂
I do programming, this is how we talk about coding and coding software
So many massive stars in this
It's 2021 and guys like this still exist