One I've noticed is respect. Women say they want a man who respects them, but when a man is respectful towards them, they conclude that he must be of a lowly status or weak and will jettison him for a bossier man, believing his arrogance makes him more important.
I had an old guy i work with once told me all women have the same head just different bodies You just cant win no matter what you do or say. The old double standards.
@@SteveGentile-os3kkSo certain sort of modern Western men & women alienate each other- Western,?especially US, looks like crash & burn, sinking ship, etc. Join W Europe & continue to shrink your populations- more seniors, fewer workers,less social security. As journalist Chris Hedges 1 of his books, “The Farewell Tour”. So, such persons shouldn’t complain about immigrants- more workers, more taxes, more social security.
I once had a woman tell me on the phone, that she likes a man to be a gentleman, open doors, pull out the chair, etc... I told her that's how my mom taught me to be. A few weeks later, on a first date, she ripped my head off for opening her car door... "You're only doing that because I told you to!" I replied, "First, as I said, I do that for everyone, even my mom. Second, if you don't want to think a man is doing that because you told him, don't bring it up!"
There is also "the jealousy trap". She gets angry if you get jealous because it means you don't trust her. But she gets angry if you don't get jealous because it means you don't care.
I'm not sure "the jealousy trap" would fit the format of this list. But it could fit if split. Like "She wants a man who gets jealous, but can't handle it because it means he starts acting angry or controlling" or "she wants a man who doesn't get jealous because it means he's more kind and accepting, but can't handle it because it seems like he just doesn't care".
It`s a thight dance. I fake jealousy in an obvious fashion (showing I care/notice) and when she tries to engage me on it I deflect by telling her it would be good for our relationship if she would have an affair, because she is going to be happier and I would have more free time to relax (showing convidence). Works like a charm.
How about the woman who gets jealous if you talk to any woman, even mom or sister. But you are the crazy one when you suspect there is a little too much gifts coming from her male boss who she also seems to always speak very highly of.
Word to the wise. I have a friend who told his wife he would rather not know if she was cheating and she took that as Carte Blanche to cheat and not tell him.
@@Frigid_Knight With many women claiming, oh a man is kind they are after one thing. No appreciation that is it. But when it is not what they think they claim, they act the victim. Then claim the man hates women because he does not want her as a sexual object.
Wow, ticked almost all of those boxes. I opened up about something deep as she requested and I got a lecture. I work all day, she was upset I didn't call. I wrote her poetry (I'm told it is very good) and got a 'What's this!!'. I planned a weekend away, she knew about the weekend but not the plans, which is what she said she wanted, then got upset because she didn't know the plan. We try so hard but get shot down so often. There is so much Less stress and drama when you're single.
@@MSBowen-pk6ww No offense, but there is a difference between respecting something and wanting it for yourself. I respect people who keep their house pristine clean at all times. I really do. But I don't want it for myself nor could I live with someone like that. Unlike the examples that the creator and OP mentioned, yours are not things these men said they wanted but then couldn't handle. They never said they wanted it... Only that they respect it.
@aretwodeetoo1181 no they were still interested and I did go on the date and I learned that they lied.I was upfront with the different men and I resisted the men's advances. It has nothing to do with how you seem to be misunderstanding the point that I was making. I am tired of the games that they played and I hope that you will really read this and respect the fact that I was not denied the date. I am not unable to handle rejection from the guys. I am the one that rejected the men.
Point #2 and #3 about emotions. The only times I opened up it got weaponised against me and lost all respet even among my friends... That's why I don't do it anymore.
When it comes to emotions they judge you for small things like making jokes, laughing, venting about problems, being upset/frustrated, ect. If they have a problem with those then I'd respond with the same energy and tell them to GTFO. It's just baffling when most people would attack you than help you get around these kind of things
When a woman says she wants you to open up emotionally, that's code for "Say more nice things about me." The last thing on earth she want's is any sign of weakness or vulnerability. To be fair though, what woman are taught they are supposed to want (Left Brain) and what they naturally want (R-Brain) have nothing in common.
She said that sharing emotions is good from a mental health standpoint because women share their emotions and women know that makes them more mentally healthy... but women have way more mental health issues.
1:22 - 1. Man takes the lead 2:24 - 2. Emotions (specifically negative) 3:15 - 3. Vulnerability 4:05 - 4. Logic 4:30 - 5. Sense of Humour 4:40 - 6. Status 5:19 - 7. Intelligence 5:45 - 8. High work ethic 6:46 - 9. Man with money 8:10 - 10. Man that is well-endowed. (the bigger the better)
it's not the bigger the better, its 7". Multiple different studies have been done and concluded that 7" is the perfect size. Not bigger or smaller. 5.5" being the avarage.
@@jurassicthunder s3x industry sales shows that best size is about 6" and that is based on the size of toys sold. 6" toys are most selling size afair. That study is biased.
@@CawkyDante It depends, if you expect to go so deep on a woman that you push back to your pelvis bones, can you say "this is what she gets", but no normally is it the visible oversite of your shaft. This does also mean that a fat man will have a shorter member than when he was less fat.
Society likes to throw around "toxic masculinity" but I am just so tired of dealing with toxic women. It's ubiquitous at this point and men are just over it. Thank you for helping to open women's eyes. Hopefully it will make a difference.
@@Krydolph Exactly. I'm not condoning toxic masculinity, but if we compare them, it's not even nearly as bad as toxic femininity. Toxic masculinity makes a woman feel bad because it's verbal abuse (which is wrong). Toxic femininity destroys lives with false accusations and bait-traps.
Imagine wanting a man that is emotionally stable, then finding one. He then becomes vulnerable infront of her. She then weaponizes that aginst him. Couldn't be me.
This is entirely your fault though. We do not want vulnerable men, we want strong, stable, reliable men like our fathers and grandfathers. Guys today are so weak, you get all upset about girls on instagram yet turn your back when men commit the most heinous atrocities. Grow up, noone wants you to be vulnerable and noone else is responsible for you.
Yeah, definitely intelligence. I had a very successful woman tell me how much she craves depth in a man. She likes talking to attorneys and educated men because of the deep, intellectual conversations. Then she asked my thoughts and opinions on a certain subject in which I just happened to be well versed. I didn't even go very deep into it and she replied, "Wow, usually no one can hold a candle to me on that subject! I'd have to do more research to keep up with you!" And that was the last time she ever wanted to talk about anything deep with me! 😄 What she really craved was proving that she could keep up with intelligent men. Funny thing is, I'm a tradesman with only a high school education. She thought she was going to be talking way over my head. 😆 I don't have any college degrees hanging on my wall, but it doesn't mean I haven't educated myself on my own. Another one is a highly capable man who can take care of things. Being a tradesman and a mechanic, I just automatically maintain and repair anything around home that needs it. I've been told that is a very attractive trait and skill set. The problem living with a man who can do pretty much anything is some women will start feeling inferior about their own self worth. Then they start talking about the things the do being so exhausting and laborious and complaining that I just never do enough to help them, even though I spent far more hours working around home every week than they did. Not to mention my work wasn't loading and unloading machines that automatically did the work for me. I had to physically work. I NEVER put a woman down because she primarily did interior housework or had only a part time job or no job at all. I was appreciative of the things they did. Yet they acted as if the things I did, which would've cost massive amounts of money to hire someone to do really didn't count as doing my part or carrying my weight at home. There were some serious inferiority complexes in play. Being mentally and emotionally strong is another. I don't need a woman to mother me. We didn't have any kids and my ex-wife didn't feel needed because she had no one to mother. She eventually left me for a guy on psych meds and health issues who could barely read. No amount of appreciation, encouragement or uplifting will convince a woman with an inferiority complex that she has value. She'll argue and fight for her self perceived limitations and blame you for their existence.
Thank you for putting into words what I have begun to suspect about my ex - that her feeling of inferiority is my fault in her eyes because I’m a deep thinker, financially literate, have a job, am handy, and spend frugally. It seems that my surprising amount of competence and interest in our kids (post-separation) is unsettling for her. Post-divorce me is healthy & balanced with lots of energy to put towards parenting 4 kids simply because the drag of an unhealthy partner has been removed.
Same thing with me. My ex said, "I need you, but you don't need me." And I agreed with her. I didn't need her for money, fixing anything, personal happiness, etc. But I wanted a companion because life is more fun when you share it with someone. Still looking for a best friend that I also sleep with. Lol. From what I'm seeing, it's going to be awhile.
Being a qualified tradesmen, and criticized about my work led me to do nothing special and if my skill set was needed, I arranged for a tradesman, paying for the work out of the family budget. That stopped that b/s.
A lot of this is the idea that “I’ll be happy if I can get (fill in the blank)”. It’s an excuse to not work on themselves, an excuse to not take accountability for their role in toxic relationships. If you’re not happy in yourself, you’ll never be happy in a relationship and you will find ways to project the source of that unhappiness onto your partner.
Women have also said to me, she wants this, she requires, she would like, she doesn't want, she needs, she must have. The only thing I've asked of a woman is loyalty and they have always failed at it.
@d4qatoa Her answer was sex. - because that's where her only power lies. Take that away and she's not only worthless but expensive to upkeep. Sign of a bad woman.
Women are loyal to their emotions. Their emotions can change at a seconds notice. Its in their nature, its psychology. The sooner you get past this the better you will do. Get a dog for loyalty.
Vulnerability? "She would rather see me die on my white horse than fall from it." Emotions? Emotions are feminine. She'll lose respect for you. No matter how she begs you to open up. Don't do it! It will permanently damage your relationship. Experience.
@@americafirst9144 In July of 2022, I was out on a walk with a female friend that I've known at the time for almost 20 years. When we got back to her condo, I had a message on my phone from the sister of one of my best friends that I had known since college. I returned the call, and found out that my friend that I had known since college had unexpectedly passed away. I stood in shock, in my female friend's living room, and inevitably broke down. One year later in 2023 my friend, who witnessed this and comforted me in my time of grief, sent me a text saying she no longer wanted to be friends with me because the "emotional intimacy" of our friendship somehow made her feel like I was an ex-boyfriend that she is still friends with - EVEN THOUGH she and I NEVER DATED EACH OTHER! On the anniversary of my college friend's death, I was once again grieving not only his loss, but the loss of friendship with someone else who is still very much alive. Try as I might to find a way to forgive it, it still pisses me off.
Thanks for posting. Every time I watch one of your videos, that totally kills the urge or desire to get back into the dating game. It sounds pathetic, yet I know that I’m saving quite a bit of time, aggravation, and hurt feelings.
@@QED_ really? Really? Like really? Controlling emotions is toxic? How so? It's literally a part of emotional intelligence to be able to understand your emotions and control them.
@@QED_ Learning to control one's emotions is literally one of the main purposes of therapy. Emotional self-regulation is an important part of achieving emotional health. It's suppressing emotions that is unhealthy. The ideal is to feel and recognize your emotions without letting them overwhelm you.
I already have a great amount of respect for you. And the fact that you are very shy and bashful when approaching a sensitive subject, especially in this hyper-sexualized society, made my respect for you go up ten fold. We need more women like you.
I can add another one. #11: A man with many interests or hobbies. As for the ten that you gave, I honestly have experienced all of them at one time or another with women I have been around. But, on the wrong side of it: Not intelligent enough- no degree Too emotional. Not high status-blue collar worker Not enough money Wrong type of interests ( #11) You get my position....
I agree with the hobby one, I am not allowed to have a hobby else it takes away from my wife and kids. I actually sit at home on the computer just having to wait for everyone's whim to pull me away from anything that might interest me so I can jump to serve them.
You are absolutely correct on #9. So many just are not able to budget. Thank you for sharing and #10 is way out of proportion to what they think they can handle. Everyone stay safe, warm, happy 😊 and healthy. From Henrico County Virginia
Excellent content yet again, Emily. Of the great points you raised, the one I wanted to share, which touches on a few of your points, is the Non-Trad Woman. She’s the woman that chooses to reject traditional values, usually, she blames on “the Patriarchy”. Yet should a man say, “I agree. I am not interested in trad roles, like paying for meals, or marriage, or being the breadwinner/provider/rescuer is not for me”, she will give this guy a wide berth indeed. It’s a case of “right for me, not for thee”.
You need both though. My mom cooked the meat because my dad brought it home. Most guys today are expecting their wife to work 9-5 to help pay for the meat. Then expect her to cook it as well. I'd happily spend my days in the kitchen, but that relies on a traditional man. And most guys today are failing at that. I know they say it's harder to earn money now but that's kinda what you get when you vote for banning mexican people ahead of voting for lowering taxes.. which men did en masse.
My parents had a non traditiona but non femenist pov when it came to their marraige. They both had to work to support 4 daughters, and they both took care of us emotionall were there. They also took care of chorse together. They made sacrifices to help us go to a private Christian school. I thank God for them, they taught me about a healthy balance. I'm not pretending they were perfect of course not but the did their best to be a team. They also taught my sister's and I to be self sufficient and I am sure that if they had a son they'd have made sure he did chores as well. My father never told me that I had to be a wife and mom or that I had to work. He supported me along my journey. Sadly my mother passed away 2018 adn to this day he still misses her. She was a good woman, kind and loving and she cared about so many people around her.
@@MySimDied I didn't vote for Biden he raised taxes as soon as he got in office. I'm assuming you mean Trump with "banning mexicans" he lowered taxes and improved the economy. Until the great epidemic of stupidity in 2020.
It's a damn bit more than a few a this point. Getting to the point where maths and physics is becoming a requirement. Done being asked for the literally impossible delivered instantly.
The "sense of humor" one is very true. When asked, women will always put "sense of humor" or "makes me laugh" at the top of their list. But if they meet a man like that, within 5 minutes the woman will be saying "Whyyyy can't you be SEEERIOUS?!!"
I've always been a person who tried to laugh at the world (because otherwise I'd lose hope and just cry). When they pull out the "why can't you be serious?!" I reply with "I was a US Army medic, I'm not deployed to some shit-hole country where most of the populace doesn't want me there. The same people I'm trying to help aren't trying to shoot, maim, or blow me up. I don't have to see my friends get mangled in their 20's for a politician's resume point. I don't have a 19 year old screaming for mom while I try my best to put him back together even if he's missing limbs. All while artillery and gunfire are happening all around. I'm not covered in blood and gore from my trade. Then I'm not going to go home and drown all of that in Wild Turkey because my patient bled out while screaming and I'm not unaffected emotionally. Today isn't that serious." I often regret my service, but it does come in handy with perspective.
I think it's, maybe, because sense of humor for women is a completely different thing as masculine sense of humor. Men can have a few hours of laughter with something as simple as a fart, on the other hand, women couldn't see the point of it. Obviously, that was an extreme example, but my point is simple - our brains work humor differently..
I've had this said to me so many times, the best one a girl once said to me was why do you laugh at your mates jokes but not at mine...my reply cos they are funny and you are not, she threw me out on Christmas day telling me of course I needed to grow up 😜
"I want a man with emotional intelligence" Same woman: "I'm not your therapist" What they mean is to be attentive to THEIR emotions and stfu about your own.
I have to agree. I'm 55 and learned that many of the things a woman says she wants in a man is what she'll later complain about. So many women will talk about wanting a strong, decisive leader but as soon as he is making good decisions and leading, she'll feel that she no longer has power and gets scared. I've seen women who are so strong willed they will fight over every single issue, just to show that they're really the one in charge.
I tried dating but couldn't find a man who actually respected me. So I quit the dating apps period and stopped trying to chase the idea of the right man. In the end so far I took the time to get to know myself better so that if a good many comes along I will know more about myself and what I need not what I think I want. I would also looka this dating history as well.
1)A man to take the lead: until she's comfortable taking over 2)Man to show emotion: unless it exposes weakness 3)Vulnerability: unless it exposes weakness- catch22 4)Logic: refused if she has any emotional attachment to subject matter 5)Sense of humor: Intensity must meet her standards 6)Status: revered until it affects attention received 7)Intelligence: enough to know when to be submissive 8)Work ethic: revered until it affects attention received 9)Money: the more spent on her raises tolerance level on other traits 10)Well endowed: at request by 403s only *11)Honesty: required but not to be directed at her Men rarely qualify based on this partial list of demands forcing women to default to NO. Men default to YES, pants around ankles, bc standards list is minimal for easy qualification but somehow that's a rare find too.
A lot of girls talk about wanting an honest guy and one that is clear and takes the lead but then they completely freak out when a guy is honest, clear, and take the lead. Even after she shows clear signs of being attracted.
Which is why always assert yourself and never change yourself too quickly or not on your own volition, it's one of the few ways to expose who they really are, since usually they leave when they see you can't be controlled, but beware the covert ones since they can easily play along.
@@killshotcodx9446idk what to do honestly we were good friends for a long time, we hold the same values, she has shown clear signs that she is interested in me but she rejected me when I stepped up and said I wanted to date her. Idk if I should try again in a few months because she freaked out, or if I should just accept it and move on.
Honesty is only valued by people who intend to grow from it. She just doesn't want him to deceive her about the things she wants to know. Clarity is nice for her when it's not blunt or negative, like honesty. Taking the lead is an ideal that conflicts with the female zeitgeist believing that men cannot ever be trusted. She is ruled by fear, and wants those fears to be alleviated.
The bigger the better... until the man is only half way in and the woman is in a lot of pain. No joke, that can happen. Sometimes it is to long, sometimes it is to thick. This idea that the bigger the better should REALLY BE "The snugger, the better."
@@francisdashwood1760 Exact definitions vary, from the size of the opening to the size of the thing being inserted, but generally the closer to the exact size plus a cm or two, the more pleasing it can be without causing pain. Hell, cm might be to much for some people, in which case preparation is needed. Preparation that could take weeks or months, in which time oral satisfaction is the next best thing to physical. Think of the human body, literally any part where the first and/or main constraint is the skin and muscles, as a rubber ban. You might be able to find one that you can wrap around a pencil or two, or maybe your wrist, before it becomes snug against your skin. Now stretch that thing a little, maybe put a finger between it and your wrist, but no more. That stretching is probably the most that is safe for someone on the receiving end, IF you are lucky. Why? Because the innards are actually experiencing micro tears. Very, very, VERY few, as in to small to even imagine, can actually lead to a mild sense of enjoyment. Think of when you got an itch that won't go away and you scratch that spot really good. The relief that sensation that you are feeling that is kinda painful but manageable are like micro tears. The heal up very quickly, but the body will release adrenaline and endorphins to soothe the irritation, and leave a pleasant feeling for people. Well... Our inner organs and parts of our bodies act the same way, within moderation. Thank you for attending my Ted Talk.
Every woman is different but after some time and reading and feedback, you eventually see patterns and whatnot. A reallyyyy big member sounds good and probably looks nice too, but practically, lol, maybe not so much
Many women are illogical enough to disregard physical compatibility, and then gaslight themselves into believing that getting beat up inside, is how it's supposed to be... Poor guys just wanna slam it home, but they can't because they're incompatible. Have fun birthing the child of a small giant.
I had a female teacher in middle school who I would gossip about behind her back all the time. She always found out about it, I do not know how, she must have had spies. She would usually pull me aside and ask me to tell her how I felt. Then, when I told her how I felt (and I made sure to be polite about it) she would laugh at me condescendingly. That was not fair. She initiated the conversation that I did not want to have. Just because her opinion does not agree with mine, that does not mean that I am wrong. If she wants me to say how I feel, being rude, disrespectful and condescending to me when I do it is not the way to accomplish that goal. She did not want to hear my opinion. She wanted to hear her opinion coming out of my mouth.
I’d have to agree. When my husband crashed his motorcycle, I took tender loving care of him until he could walk again. When we were homeless, I busted azz with him to get us back up. I’ve known far too many women, when tragedy strikes, when illness hits, and when the money is gone… they’re gone. It’s disgusting… we celebrate 21 years together in 3 days 🎉
Men have their own down falls too, no one is perfect. This is why I walked away from dating. I'm not a femenist either. I'm a Christian who told them point blank before meeting them on a date that I was waiting for marraige to have sex. Each one said that they respected me until that date. I'm done with the hook up culture. It ruined everything. Men and women need to stop going down a toxic path.
The best thing about this video? How you got uncomfortable and embarrassed and barely touched on #10. That says you still have some innocence about you and a knowledge of what kind of discussions are and are not appropriate in certain situations. Good on you, Ms. Emily. Please don't ever lose that.
Embarrassment!? Lol she's just here to validate all the men who aren't measuring up. I mean it must be good money since she's posting almost everyday. Validating people who fall short and giving them false hope is profitable indeed.
Hello Emily: Excellent job on these. The one about wanting a man to lead but not being able to trust him to lead is spot on. Also women wanting men to be logical, but they have a huge problem with him being correct on something. Have a good day.
Another content creator did an explanation yesterday of why women say they want something, they are given it, and they don't like it. His take is that the pipe between the subconscious desires of a woman and the conscious desires they have is very large, so some of what they say is their evolved brain talking, while their more primitive brain disagrees. Men have a much smaller pipe, so when we get those subconscious feelings, we disregard them because they don't make sense. We still have the primitive part, and when pushed, the rational brain shuts off and we get that primitive part. But men have denied their feelings long enough that we tend to dismiss anything from that part of our brain, even if it would yield some great insights about why people do things that baffle us. That said: 1. This is about control, and control is about fear. The whole purpose of taking control is to minimize the downsides to alleviate the fears of something going wrong. Women have been told forever and a day that men are monsters. They are untrustworthy. That has been in the female zeitgeist for more than a *century* at this point at one level or another. This is why a woman who wants a man to lead can't submit to that lead - doing so means dealing with irrational, anxiety-driven fears of a man destroying everything. How many times has she tried to make the assertion, guys, that you'd be lost without her? 2. I've recently had an epiphany about this that Emily points out: when women want you to 'open up', what they want is your happiness, your joy, and your excitement to match hers. She doesn't want the negative emotions because then she has to feel those, too. But this problem really stems from a lack of understanding of how men deal with their own negative emotions. Ladies, we can't be angry, or we could destroy something. We can't be sad because nobody wants to help us out of that. We can't be afraid because you look to us to be the meat-shields between you and your fears. You know better than anyone that negative emotions can be stronger than positive ones, and so we control those negative ones as best we can, and the light, fluffy, happy ones get tamped down in the process. A comedian made the joke once that his wife got mad at him for not being happy enough on his own birthday, and that he should apologize for it. 3. This one is the classic case of wanting everything. You want him to be an impervious rock so you can fall apart in his arms after your day goes bad. You want him to be cool under fire and just fix things for you. But you also say you want to know where the weakness in his armor is. And, when you know it, and you get mad, that's the first place you stab with your knife. And when he doubles over after you jab the knife in, you realize that he is not the invincible rock that is cool under pressure. Any man that you have met that won't show his vulnerabilities has gone through this. Women did that to men, on the whole. And I know what you are thinking: "He can trust me, I'd never do that!" What proof have you offered? How do you treat other men? 4. This one is the easiest to explain: Emotions have a motive, and follow cause and effect laws, but *make no sense* when looked at. You crying because you accidentally put the wrong key in your front door and it snapped off and now your ice cream is melting is understandable, but completely useless. Logic says that finding a way to get through the jammed door to get the ice cream back in the freezer is the only thing that will help. Ever wonder why a man wants to solve your problems when you want to vent? This is the entire explanation. A man does not have the luxury of crying and waiting for someone to fix it for him. He takes the multitool out of his pocket, removes the broken key, and unlocks the door to get the ice cream in the fridge before looking into how to replace the broken car key. 5. A sense of humor... So, I have two senses of humor. I have the worst dad jokes known to man, and a dark sense of humor with some inappropriate tones. My wife enjoys both for different reasons, but it took a bit to get used to the dark side of my humor because it takes no prisoners - including her! The issue is that she needed to trust me. When I make a joke, it is a joke. It might poke fun at something that the target could really stand to look at, but it is still a joke. "All humor is, by nature, critical of something." - John Cleese 6. Status means two different outcomes to men and women. Status, for men, means a lot more work - it's something you *make* for yourself. To maintain the status, people need to constantly feel he both deserves that status through his actions and what he provides, and that he commands that status well (isn't being a jerk, but also not being a pushover, and so on). To women, status is a thing you have, like a pretty dress. It makes you look good. If at any point, someone wishes to disrupt her status, she need only publicly humiliate the person seeking to disrupt it. A high-status man has not only other men seeking to gain some of that status by association, but some women attempting to get between her and the status so they can have it for themselves. The only way to keep a high-status man is to make yourself into whatever he wants you to be, and that will inevitably grate on you, ladies. 7. Oh, intelligence... Ladies, intelligence ties to so many of the other ones. Yes, great indicator of success, financially, because he is making the sacrifices and smart choices you'd *never* make to get where he is aiming to go. He lets logic be his rule and law in this, giving up one of his three square meals a day for a week to use the $25 that saves to build up a savings account so that, when his car inevitably breaks down, he has the ability to put it in the shop and have it back instead of wondering how to fix it. And he'll also learn how to fix it himself to save even more next time. An intelligent man won't let you have control if it your choices are not logical, and there is no room for emotions when plying intelligence. Plus, it allows him to think about thoughts, which means he can often see right through subtle machinations, and that is a bad woman's toolbox. Women hate feeling stupid. 8. You want the work ethic because he gets stuff done - both for you, and his job. This comes at the cost of him not lounging around and cuddling with you - he has always got something to do. We go back to wanting it all: I want a man who is my cuddle-pillow and I want a man who is respected at work and I want a man who gets my whole honey-do list done. It's like status: if a man is not constantly showing a strong work ethic, it means nothing. 9. Money creates status. Money affords the pretty, shiny things you want. Money makes you the envy of your circle of girlfriends. Money, among most women, is what makes the world go 'round. Songs like Santa Baby, Material Girl, Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend? They exist for a reason. But money has to be obtained. It doesn't fall in your lap. Either the man with it worked hard and sacrificed, or somebody else did and he got to profit off of it. He has become the thing many women want in a partner, and can therefore pick whomever he wants, for as little or as much time as he wants, so long as he doesn't marry her or let it become a domestic partnership, or have kids with her (because divorce laws are brutal and men logically handle that by not running into them). The man with money has materialistic women who, will paint their faces and dress in revealing clothing, for his pleasure in line so that they can get a piece of his wealth and status. Women who are not ashamed of doing some pretty distasteful things to stay in his good graces. Some men resist this sort of thing, though, and those men? You'll never know how wealthy they are. 10. I did not expect this to come up (pun possibly intended), and watching Emily blush is a treat. Anyway, there is another video you can find about this where the gal is using a tape measure to demonstrate how long 12 inches is. If I recall correctly, her phrasing was akin to "5-6 inches is fine. 7 is pushing it. 8 might leave you sore. 9 is possibly needing a day off tomorrow. 10 is a trip to the ER. I don't know where you plan to put 11 or 12." Do yourselves a favor, ladies who have size requirements: go measure one of your toys with an actual ruler (and don't pretend that you don't have one because the average woman spends $150-$200 on adult toys annually...) I can almost guarantee that the entire length that is meant to fit in is 8 inches or less. The only way you are taking on a man bigger than that is if he doesn't use all of it, and that seems a bit of a waste, doesn't it?
There are good women out there just like there are bad women. Not all of us are like you paint us to be. The same can be said about good and bad men. I do not paint you all as the same. Those points you made were long winded and pointless. Trying to show off like men have all this logic and intelligence. Like a woman can't have logic, or figure things out without needing a man evertime. The fact is that not all women disresepct men, my mother was a good woman who loved and respected my father and he treated her with the same love and respect. They didn't look down on each other. Not saying they were perfect but the fact remains my mother didn't care about his money or status. My dad never tried to climb a corperate ladder. I respect and love my father and I treat men with respect, despite my history with sexual abuse by two different men as I grew up. God helped me to realize that not every man is a perverted monster. Also he helped me to realize that being alone as a woman isn't something to feel ashamed of. You claim base instincts and are using the 'evolution logic' which is a lie. Of course you bought it hook line and sinker. This means that you aren't as 'intelligent and logical' as you claim to be. I also chose to stay single because men wanted one thing from me that I was not willing to give. I tried to date it was miserable because even though I was honest and clear upfront that I am a Christian woman who is waiting on sex for marraige and though they assured me prior to the date that they respected me. Those men proved to be liars and illogical. They think with hormones. You claim that women are ruled by emotions etc but men are easily lead astray in their own way. I do not hate you and I do not hate men, 90% of them were perves and about 10% treated me with respect and because of the way my mother taught me to treat men with respect the way she respected and loved my father; I learned that status and money and looks have nothing to do with a good man's worth. She didn't care about his looks or anything else that men seem to think all women are thinking. I have logic and intelligence and so do other women. I logically with God's helped realized that a woman's worth is not measured in marraige or kids. That is also true for a man, the pressure put on everyone to settle down is by societies standards. It got absorbed into the churches a long time ago so they claim it's from the Bible. The Bible tells me that God said that not all of us are meant to be marrried. Just those who cannot abstain from fornication. With God's help I have grown stronger and more independent and happier! You don't have to be bitter towards all women. I am being honest you are being lead by lack of logic and emotions that you claim men lack. Any man who rants for a whole page is full of emotion. That's teh truth of it. We all have emotions and our feelings can lead us down a bad path if we do not get them under control and realize that truth over feelings is important. My truth and focus is on God and not persusing the standards pressed upon me my whole life. I will pray for you.
Yes. Without even watching your episode, I can garantee that all your points were spot on for my ex (npd diagnostic). I called her "my lovely contradiction" and could often point out her contradictions within the same 10-20minutes span with direct quotes from her. It was mesmerizing to have no grip on reality like her.. utter lack of personal responsibility in life, blameshifting, pouting, shouting, anger, shame disgused at blaming others, argumentative without grounds to support, but if you respond (even with kindness and consideration) it often resulted in further angering her. She had no grip over her own emotions and other people were to blame for it when she was sole perpetrator of her mental situation with me. I usually take responsibility for saying something that could be misconstrued without much hassle and often perceive it as soon as I utter the words or it echoes in my mind and I Know, but in her case... I had to avoid a list of words that would trigger her sympathetic nervous system's defense mechanisms. It was beyond disturbing. Watch "Lee hammock's interview" here on youtube. Imagine what he describes, but in a girl that is strictly emotional, distorts events to justify her emotions and had just rejected her own mother. Also extorted money from her Aunt's business (partially hers due to Hadiths: sacred bullshit in Islam... where she's entitled to 30% of it xD). It's just all sorts of bad and despicable.
A man who can solve problems. My career was spent in Engineering (inventing things to solve problems) and Technical Support (solving urgent problems in real time) and that skill is hard to turn off. When my wife starts describing a situation, instead of just listening and sympathetic nodding, I launch into problem solving mode. Argh! She doesn’t want me to solve the problem, just listen.
I so feel you on this one, with partners or friends not moving to fast to problem solving. My trick is to wait for a blank and ask a question or help in contextualize, if the person does not find an answer themselves propose to help them find one. But I agree when you spend your time solving problems, refraining from solving one is soooooo hard
My husband just told me that we was moving into our house t the end of the month… I was low key tripping for a second. He has 2 contractors and himself working on the place before we do. Mind y’all, we are both still working our jobs! I was stressed for a bit, but now, I know that I will be ok. We have been together for 23 years AND he has never put me in a messed up situation. Just gotta keep loving him and keep it moving on!
My experiences have shown the intelligence thing to be true. Women tend to not like men who have a good memory, can control of his emotions, and has the ability to articulate the reasoning behind decision making. This type of man is very typically very accountability focused and doesn't allow emotions to dictate his serious decision making process. Women will stick around for a little while thinking they can out think a smart man and will just get frustrated and angry when they can't.
I have the opposite experience: more often than not women have been impressed by ability to reason when I talked to them and when I was able to read through their subtle manipulations, they've seemed more genuinely impressed than angry or frustrated and it definetely didn't hurt the attraction in grils who were already attracted to me. It may have something to do with personality traits I select for in my friends but still, that's my experience.
My experience aligns with Daniel, and with Sren as well. But there are some women that get a sort of perverse enjoyment about being seen through by a keen mind, like And mentioned. It's all in delivery. You have to be almost coy and cocky when you do it. They are a little miffed that their original goal for manipulating you in the first place is lost, but it's almost daring them to try harder.
Upon some consideration, Dr. King, a topic that might be worth thinking about is how the nastier women out there tend to adopt many male traits. They want to dominate the relationship, they use anger a lot, they do shaming, attacking a man's feelings of guilt (often very deep-seated and cultural), the try to keep a man unemotional and passive, basically a lot of rather more male characteristics of the type they claim to despise. So perhaps some thought and exploration about how many women display toxic masculinity themselves might be an interesting topic for discussion.
Thank you for doing these videos - they're a missing part in relationship management that no one ever teaches, and they're very sensible. Keep up the good work!
Hope to see you through the sickness. May it not overtake you. 1. Men have always had the duty of supporting a woman and protecting her. 2. Emotions. Enough said. 3. Any sign of weakness can immediately turn off a woman. But in a healthy relationship it is right to show weakness so it can be worked through between the 2. (4. Logic of what happens in the mind of a man, me being one, I know what it's like to be a quiet person when it comes to relationships. I have recently tried to put myself out there, but it either doesn't happen or work out the way one intended. 5. This is a BIG one. Every couple, married or not, should be able to make jokes or tell a funny story without feeling offense. Or feeling that they have said something offensive. 6. I know many women want a man who can support himself, but many man can't seem to get past a friendship cuz the said man doesn't have tons of money. I have been looking for someone for quite a while, and no, I don't have a whole ton of money. But it's not about the money. It's about the way both genders treat each other, which would lead to marriage down the road. 7. Wow. Ain't this a good one. Most men now you see as doctors or scientists. But being me, I am not a doctor or scientist, but I know quite alot. I am a history buff and love to give the little bit of history I do know. 8. Work ethic is crucial. Depending how one may be in a work place depends how far they thrive. That's why a great and friendly and knowlegdeable attitude is important. 9. Again it's not all about the money. It's about how a man treats you, and how you treat them. Many couples or married people divorce or break up cause they just wanna use the 'significant other' just for money. Money is the root of all evil. 10. Well. This is eye opening. But this is another major one. If there is no intimacy or even the slightest hug or kiss, there's a problem, and it can be worked through with simple talking and no arguing but just simple explanations and understanding. Such a great video Emily. I absolutely love your wisdom. Feel better soon.
To me, you sound absolutely fine even if you're dealing with a cold. There's a certain smile in your voice and comfort in listening to you speak that's reassuring.
You really glossed over #2, I think that one's really important to talk about. Women don't want to see a man cry. Say they do, they do not. And that's just one facet of that topic. Love your channel, so much. Keep it up, please.
With regards to emotions, I remember a great interview with Warren Farrell. He used something he called the superman analegy. Lois Lane goes out of her way to have superman open up about his emotions, But she has no time for Clark Kent. Why? Because she already know superman is very powerful at competent and can handle everyhting, and it is then, and only then, that she really wants emotion, but then she truly does wants it and is sad, when superman does not show it.
Literally just was broken up with after Christmas after we were talking about all of the things we were going to be doing up through her birthday in February. She said I was great, but I want a relationship and she isn't ready for that and wants to focus on her friends and kids. This after the entire time she and I were both all about the relationship and each other and where it was going. Not looking at marriage, but being each other's person, best friend and intimate partner. Still don't understand, but I guess she just couldn't handle what she thought she wanted and that I am actually that, for her.
She simply don’t think you are sexy anymore. It was just your turn, she was never yours. At least you are not a incel and got laid. Now get on with your life
I used to have a group of girl-friends I used to hang out with after church dances at a local 24 hour diner. We would chat and be open about our feelings, and if I'm at the mall they would ask me if an outfit was cute. But they would not go out on dates with me. They want somebody to talk to but when they do they just aren't interested you as a boyfriend.
There's no such thing as toxic masculinity. Masculinity is being able to handle your emotions, remain stoic, especially in pressure situations. Women respond favorably to this BECAUSE it is a biological reality of desiring a competent mate that can protect them in times of danger that can occur randomly. Women responding negatively to emotional expression does not make them bad women, but just women being who they are. It makes you a good man to not react to your emotions.
Not reacting to emotions, is not the same as supressing them. And a healthy female don’t neglect her man. At the same time men need to be stoic to survive in this world. But also able to « self-sooth», and to « esteem him self». That is we can’t count on others to esteem us. Or female will automatic lose sexual interest in us, if she sence that her man is unable to self-esteem, self-care him self. But a healthy female should not troll, nag, bully her man for haveing emotions. A healthy female should accept that life has up’s/downs and that her man needs to know that she is lojal. In my mind i think that is all we can exspect from a female. She can literally Duck a new man every day, so this takes alot of effort on her part. I think men often lack the empathy to understand this
There absolutely is such a thing as toxic masculinity, it's just not what feminism says it is. For example, a man that can take the lead is healthy/normal masculinity. A man that feels he has to crush and suppress a woman so that he has absolute control, that would be an example of leadership become a toxic trait.
@@Soulja4ChristWeAreAtWar I can't agree on that. Both masculine and feminine traits can be taken to extremes that make them toxic. Almost anything, when taken to extremes, becomes unhealthy.
Really enjoyed this one, Emily. Thanks. I would say that, although you kind-of touched on it with the guy who needs to be with her but also be working, I think there’s one you missed. Or you could have added. It’s the guy who is devoted to the woman. Once a guy is belittled by her, she loses all respect for him, and has nothing but contempt for him. Yet she says she wants undying love, like in movies and books.
Emotional thinking won’t get you around seeing the paradox of wanting a man who has a high work ethic and high status but then you also want time with him
One thing I have found is that if a couple is at different stages in their life it can cause friction like for instance one of the couple is already working and the other has not had a full-time job yet it can cause friction because the one that has not had a job doesn't understand the stress an energy a job requires
Another thing I have found is if they have two different types of jobs say one inside and one outside the inside one just wants to go out and the outside person just wants to stay in it can cause friction
@@Phoenix407 Or one works with people all day and the other alone. The first wants to stay cozy at home in the evening and the other wants to go out and be social.
@@Phoenix407my wife deals with people all day (cosmetologist) and I work alone, so I FINALLY want to talk to someone when I get home, but she wants to decompress (phone games or reading) quietly
Dead on, all 10. I divorced my wife when I realized that her expectations were so conflicting that it was literally impossible to make her happy. Maybe if she had been quietly disappointed, it'd be one thing, but she was violently angry whenever she got disappointed.
Good move. The difference of a mature/intelligent person and a fool/unhappy/unluck/toxic partner. Is that the later get’s irritated/wexed/angy over exsternals that is not under their control. They most often never feel content and blames externals ( you) for their lack of self-dicipline ( impulls control) Good move!. Go « no contact» and never look back, don’t take the bait if she try to get back in. It’s 99% odds there is no change ( accountability)
The things one needs to understand about “modern” vvomen are: __1__ *non-accountability:* That explains all the conundrums. Anything that points to her having some accountability will be opposed. That includes honesty, emotional transparency, logic, the weather, words starting with the letter “e”, you name it. Everything is fine if it does not. __2__ *She is NEVER wrong:* Similar to non-accountability, she has to be right. That means facts do not matter, your perspective does not matter, … heck, YOU don’t matter. __3__ *Solipsism:* It is all about her. __4__ *Selfishness:* Not only is it all about me, everything has to be a gain for me, or it is YOUR fault (and you must mitigate any perceived loss). __5__ *Denial of the Wall:* Hot grrrrl summer last forever… right? I'm a 10 because I "believe" I'm a 10! = = = = =
This is red flags of narcissistic personality dissorder. Not all females have these traits, but it is highly possible you attract these types if you have « codependent traits»
@@Ikaros23 >>>>>>>>>>>>>This is red flags of narcissistic personality dissorder.but it is highly possible you attract these types if you have « codependent traits»
Finally an emily 10 list i can agree with. This is based. She understands the female perspective. She still fumbles a bit in a man's perspective, but I feel like she's learning.
Protective is a trait that many women don’t understand. A truly protective man keeps himself ready by training and taking actions to keep himself and those he loves safe. It can be seen as overbearing. Many women from my past couldn’t handle my protective nature however my now wife of 10 years lets me know that part of what she loves about me is that she knows she’s safe whenever I am around.
Keep them coming Emily, enjoying your series. And about the picture, its still crooked. Try a bubble level on the bottom, as long as the ceiling is level, then also will the picture look level. 🙂
"I want a rich man". Ok, youre never going to see him because hes working all the time. Youre never going to spend the money because thats how he got rich. Hes not going to be the man you want because theyre a lot of the time narcissistic, rude and aggressive because thats what it takes to succeed in business.
Rich men don't have to work. Working is optional for the wealthy (many do work, but it's more of a hobby or even a calling for them, they don't need more money)
All that you stated, i agree, women have a hard time dealing with these! Question: what type of man who are either, Alpha, Beta, delta, sigma, which one would females prefer?
Well put together. Money doesn’t make the perfect man, the perfect hubby comes from the motivation to make money. And as a man, women are the source of a man’s motivation to improve his status.
That list should remind me to be about yourself first, work on yourself, be yourself and don’t worry if a girl doesn’t like you or leaves you over something you can’t control.
I hear interested in the arts as well. As a classically trained musician who majored in performance, my musical inclinations typically make it harder in relationships. Here’s a funny example: My ex asked me if she was a good singer, and I said yes. She asked if she could go professional, and I said “if you were to get training, it’s possible.” She gets offended and asks me why I would say she needs to get formal training. I tell her it took me 15 years and a degree to develop the necessary skills to make money doing what I do, and she has the gall to tell me that she doesn’t think there is a difference in our abilities. I snapped and reminded her that while I was getting first in state and going to music festivals, she was unable to get more than side side characters in her high school musicals. Yeah, that went over as well as you might think, but I learned that a lot of women don’t want an artistic guy if it means he is more knowledgeable about the arts than them. It becomes a point of insecurity.
@@williamsporing1500 She was never jealous of the time I spent doing it. I was doing that while she was at work most of the time, so it never took time from her. In every case that it’s been an issue, it’s due to some kind of competition. I think many women assume that they will be more knowledgeable about the arts and expect deferral to them in those matters. When that’s subverted, they get insecure about their tastes and preferences around a man who clearly knows more.
I have had to deal with the emotions crap. She complained about me yelling and slamming things. So I stopped. Then she complained when I would walk away. Then she complained about my sighing.
I really enjoy your content on defending good men and how women should reciprocate his actions and affection! Thanks for helping women see what good men have to offer! ❤❤❤❤❤😊😊😊😊😊
Pretty much nailed it. Share your feelings honestly? Better be prepared to have it used against you. She asked you to lead more? Get ready for her to call you controlling if you dont let her have everything she wants, even if it hurts you or the rest of the family. She wants you to share your emotions? Better think twice as she gripes about why you aren't mindlessly gleeful or solidly stoic 24/7.
One thing women have to understand is that if they want these kinds of qualities in their men, qualities that are typically identified as "leadership qualities" then they have to be willing to follow their man's lead. Not compete with it. If we have no one who is guaranteed to follow us, to support us when we are at our lowest and to lift us up when we break, then why cultivate many of these leadership qualities in the first place? Behind every great man is a loving, caring, considerate, compassionate, supportive woman.
One I've noticed is respect. Women say they want a man who respects them, but when a man is respectful towards them, they conclude that he must be of a lowly status or weak and will jettison him for a bossier man, believing his arrogance makes him more important.
I had an old guy i work with once told me all women have the same head just different bodies
You just cant win no matter what you do or say. The old double standards.
@@SteveGentile-os3kkSo certain sort of modern Western men & women alienate each other- Western,?especially US, looks like crash & burn, sinking ship, etc. Join W Europe & continue to shrink your populations- more
seniors, fewer workers,less social security. As journalist Chris Hedges 1 of his books, “The Farewell Tour”. So, such persons shouldn’t complain about immigrants- more workers, more
taxes, more social security.
I once had a woman tell me on the phone, that she likes a man to be a gentleman, open doors, pull out the chair, etc... I told her that's how my mom taught me to be.
A few weeks later, on a first date, she ripped my head off for opening her car door... "You're only doing that because I told you to!"
I replied, "First, as I said, I do that for everyone, even my mom. Second, if you don't want to think a man is doing that because you told him, don't bring it up!"
There is also "the jealousy trap". She gets angry if you get jealous because it means you don't trust her. But she gets angry if you don't get jealous because it means you don't care.
I'm not sure "the jealousy trap" would fit the format of this list.
But it could fit if split.
Like "She wants a man who gets jealous, but can't handle it because it means he starts acting angry or controlling" or "she wants a man who doesn't get jealous because it means he's more kind and accepting, but can't handle it because it seems like he just doesn't care".
It`s a thight dance. I fake jealousy in an obvious fashion (showing I care/notice) and when she tries to engage me on it I deflect by telling her it would be good for our relationship if she would have an affair, because she is going to be happier and I would have more free time to relax (showing convidence). Works like a charm.
How about the woman who gets jealous if you talk to any woman, even mom or sister. But you are the crazy one when you suspect there is a little too much gifts coming from her male boss who she also seems to always speak very highly of.
Word to the wise. I have a friend who told his wife he would rather not know if she was cheating and she took that as Carte Blanche to cheat and not tell him.
Toxic femininity
11: They want a man without close female friends but call it controlling if he wants the same. I've had this in every relationship.
Quit being a looser, Quit watching F#F andrew take Rich POOPER and the like!
Sounds like you need to work on yourself. If you're both mature in your relationship, it shouldn't matter if you have friends of the opposite gender.
@andrewpestotnik5495 He never said that he didn't want her to have close male friends. That part of the statement was a hypothetical.
@@andrewpestotnik5495
lol
stumped
@@andrewpestotnik5495sssshhhh you made yourself sound very stupid. Or at the very least, rude and inattentive.
Known so many women that want kindness. But when they get it sincerely they claim it is manipulation for something else.
Yessss they're so broken and paranoid sometimes.
Worse, some begin to abuse the kindness
There's also some that will react to kindness by shoving that guy into the friendzone.
@@Frigid_Knight With many women claiming, oh a man is kind they are after one thing. No appreciation that is it. But when it is not what they think they claim, they act the victim. Then claim the man hates women because he does not want her as a sexual object.
@@RainWalking and claim men are a bunch of pigs if her does want her like that.
Wow, ticked almost all of those boxes. I opened up about something deep as she requested and I got a lecture. I work all day, she was upset I didn't call. I wrote her poetry (I'm told it is very good) and got a 'What's this!!'. I planned a weekend away, she knew about the weekend but not the plans, which is what she said she wanted, then got upset because she didn't know the plan. We try so hard but get shot down so often. There is so much Less stress and drama when you're single.
@@MSBowen-pk6ww No offense, but there is a difference between respecting something and wanting it for yourself. I respect people who keep their house pristine clean at all times. I really do. But I don't want it for myself nor could I live with someone like that. Unlike the examples that the creator and OP mentioned, yours are not things these men said they wanted but then couldn't handle. They never said they wanted it... Only that they respect it.
@aretwodeetoo1181 no they were still interested and I did go on the date and I learned that they lied.I was upfront with the different men and I resisted the men's advances. It has nothing to do with how you seem to be misunderstanding the point that I was making. I am tired of the games that they played and I hope that you will really read this and respect the fact that I was not denied the date. I am not unable to handle rejection from the guys. I am the one that rejected the men.
She sounds mentally ill to me. Totally not sane.
I have no idea how this is a response to his frustrations, or maybe you just validated his point. What do I know. Just a guy.
Point #2 and #3 about emotions. The only times I opened up it got weaponised against me and lost all respet even among my friends...
That's why I don't do it anymore.
When it comes to emotions they judge you for small things like making jokes, laughing, venting about problems, being upset/frustrated, ect.
If they have a problem with those then I'd respond with the same energy and tell them to GTFO.
It's just baffling when most people would attack you than help you get around these kind of things
even Joy when i am super passionate about video games, or films, i go on supernerd minutiae based.
When a woman says she wants you to open up emotionally, that's code for "Say more nice things about me." The last thing on earth she want's is any sign of weakness or vulnerability. To be fair though, what woman are taught they are supposed to want (Left Brain) and what they naturally want (R-Brain) have nothing in common.
She said that sharing emotions is good from a mental health standpoint because women share their emotions and women know that makes them more mentally healthy... but women have way more mental health issues.
1:22 - 1. Man takes the lead
2:24 - 2. Emotions (specifically negative)
3:15 - 3. Vulnerability
4:05 - 4. Logic
4:30 - 5. Sense of Humour
4:40 - 6. Status
5:19 - 7. Intelligence
5:45 - 8. High work ethic
6:46 - 9. Man with money
8:10 - 10. Man that is well-endowed. (the bigger the better)
No disrespect. Just trying to help. It’s “well-endowed.”
it's not the bigger the better, its 7". Multiple different studies have been done and concluded that 7" is the perfect size. Not bigger or smaller. 5.5" being the avarage.
@@jurassicthunder s3x industry sales shows that best size is about 6" and that is based on the size of toys sold. 6" toys are most selling size afair. That study is biased.
Not to get too personal, but does it count if I measure by pushing back to my pelvis bone?@@Quessen
@@CawkyDante It depends, if you expect to go so deep on a woman that you push back to your pelvis bones, can you say "this is what she gets", but no normally is it the visible oversite of your shaft. This does also mean that a fat man will have a shorter member than when he was less fat.
Missed at least two big points: honesty (=rude) and accountability (=boring)
Amin ☦️
Facts ( =misogyny ) mate.
Most modern women are walking ,talking oxymorons.
Plus you can't reason with someone who won't be reasoned with 😜
Well stated
Society likes to throw around "toxic masculinity" but I am just so tired of dealing with toxic women.
It's ubiquitous at this point and men are just over it.
Thank you for helping to open women's eyes. Hopefully it will make a difference.
Yeah! I think it really is about time we start putting some focus on toxic femininity too!
@@Krydolph Exactly. I'm not condoning toxic masculinity, but if we compare them, it's not even nearly as bad as toxic femininity.
Toxic masculinity makes a woman feel bad because it's verbal abuse (which is wrong). Toxic femininity destroys lives with false accusations and bait-traps.
Imagine wanting a man that is emotionally stable, then finding one. He then becomes vulnerable infront of her. She then weaponizes that aginst him. Couldn't be me.
Women are like russian roulette. You never know what u gonna get with one
This is entirely your fault though. We do not want vulnerable men, we want strong, stable, reliable men like our fathers and grandfathers. Guys today are so weak, you get all upset about girls on instagram yet turn your back when men commit the most heinous atrocities. Grow up, noone wants you to be vulnerable and noone else is responsible for you.
Yeah, definitely intelligence. I had a very successful woman tell me how much she craves depth in a man. She likes talking to attorneys and educated men because of the deep, intellectual conversations. Then she asked my thoughts and opinions on a certain subject in which I just happened to be well versed. I didn't even go very deep into it and she replied, "Wow, usually no one can hold a candle to me on that subject! I'd have to do more research to keep up with you!" And that was the last time she ever wanted to talk about anything deep with me! 😄 What she really craved was proving that she could keep up with intelligent men. Funny thing is, I'm a tradesman with only a high school education. She thought she was going to be talking way over my head. 😆 I don't have any college degrees hanging on my wall, but it doesn't mean I haven't educated myself on my own.
Another one is a highly capable man who can take care of things. Being a tradesman and a mechanic, I just automatically maintain and repair anything around home that needs it. I've been told that is a very attractive trait and skill set. The problem living with a man who can do pretty much anything is some women will start feeling inferior about their own self worth. Then they start talking about the things the do being so exhausting and laborious and complaining that I just never do enough to help them, even though I spent far more hours working around home every week than they did. Not to mention my work wasn't loading and unloading machines that automatically did the work for me. I had to physically work. I NEVER put a woman down because she primarily did interior housework or had only a part time job or no job at all. I was appreciative of the things they did. Yet they acted as if the things I did, which would've cost massive amounts of money to hire someone to do really didn't count as doing my part or carrying my weight at home. There were some serious inferiority complexes in play.
Being mentally and emotionally strong is another. I don't need a woman to mother me. We didn't have any kids and my ex-wife didn't feel needed because she had no one to mother. She eventually left me for a guy on psych meds and health issues who could barely read. No amount of appreciation, encouragement or uplifting will convince a woman with an inferiority complex that she has value. She'll argue and fight for her self perceived limitations and blame you for their existence.
Thank you for putting into words what I have begun to suspect about my ex - that her feeling of inferiority is my fault in her eyes because I’m a deep thinker, financially literate, have a job, am handy, and spend frugally. It seems that my surprising amount of competence and interest in our kids (post-separation) is unsettling for her.
Post-divorce me is healthy & balanced with lots of energy to put towards parenting 4 kids simply because the drag of an unhealthy partner has been removed.
Same thing with me. My ex said, "I need you, but you don't need me." And I agreed with her. I didn't need her for money, fixing anything, personal happiness, etc. But I wanted a companion because life is more fun when you share it with someone. Still looking for a best friend that I also sleep with. Lol. From what I'm seeing, it's going to be awhile.
Just had a conversation with my lady about this comment. Thank you for writing that out, it definitely helped me.
Being a qualified tradesmen, and criticized about my work led me to do nothing special and if my skill set was needed, I arranged for a tradesman, paying for the work out of the family budget. That stopped that b/s.
Interesting read, thank you for sharing
A lot of this is the idea that “I’ll be happy if I can get (fill in the blank)”.
It’s an excuse to not work on themselves, an excuse to not take accountability for their role in toxic relationships.
If you’re not happy in yourself, you’ll never be happy in a relationship and you will find ways to project the source of that unhappiness onto your partner.
THIS!
Women have also said to me, she wants this, she requires, she would like, she doesn't want, she needs, she must have.
The only thing I've asked of a woman is loyalty and they have always failed at it.
@d4qatoa Her answer was sex. - because that's where her only power lies. Take that away and she's not only worthless but expensive to upkeep. Sign of a bad woman.
@d4qatoa For some reason, the little things aren't supposed to matter to men. To me, the little things are the sweetest things.
And respect.
Women are loyal to their emotions. Their emotions can change at a seconds notice. Its in their nature, its psychology. The sooner you get past this the better you will do. Get a dog for loyalty.
A woman that respects who you are, your true self... sadly, I didn't found any girlfriend or wife that can do that for me...
Vulnerability? "She would rather see me die on my white horse than fall from it."
Emotions? Emotions are feminine. She'll lose respect for you. No matter how she begs you to open up. Don't do it! It will permanently damage your relationship. Experience.
A tiny bit is okay, but yes, blubbering is embarrassing, unless a family member died.
I thought I wanted deep emotions in a man until I witnessed it.
@@americafirst9144 In July of 2022, I was out on a walk with a female friend that I've known at the time for almost 20 years. When we got back to her condo, I had a message on my phone from the sister of one of my best friends that I had known since college. I returned the call, and found out that my friend that I had known since college had unexpectedly passed away. I stood in shock, in my female friend's living room, and inevitably broke down. One year later in 2023 my friend, who witnessed this and comforted me in my time of grief, sent me a text saying she no longer wanted to be friends with me because the "emotional intimacy" of our friendship somehow made her feel like I was an ex-boyfriend that she is still friends with - EVEN THOUGH she and I NEVER DATED EACH OTHER! On the anniversary of my college friend's death, I was once again grieving not only his loss, but the loss of friendship with someone else who is still very much alive. Try as I might to find a way to forgive it, it still pisses me off.
@@americafirst9144A tiny bit is not okay. Women will use it against you as soon as the need arises.
It’s some bullshit ain’t it.
@@americandissident9062 Nah.
Thanks for posting. Every time I watch one of your videos, that totally kills the urge or desire to get back into the dating game. It sounds pathetic, yet I know that I’m saving quite a bit of time, aggravation, and hurt feelings.
Women misunderstand what Stoicism is. It isn't about not showing your emotions, it is about controlling them.
Stoicism misunderstands what Stoicism is about. It isn't about controlling your emotions (which is toxic), it's about not expressing them . . .
@@QED_ really? Really? Like really? Controlling emotions is toxic? How so? It's literally a part of emotional intelligence to be able to understand your emotions and control them.
@@QED_ Learning to control one's emotions is literally one of the main purposes of therapy. Emotional self-regulation is an important part of achieving emotional health. It's suppressing emotions that is unhealthy. The ideal is to feel and recognize your emotions without letting them overwhelm you.
Absolutely 💯
You fully embrace your emotions and then learn to control them. That’s maturity.
I already have a great amount of respect for you. And the fact that you are very shy and bashful when approaching a sensitive subject, especially in this hyper-sexualized society, made my respect for you go up ten fold. We need more women like you.
I can add another one.
#11: A man with many interests or hobbies.
As for the ten that you gave, I honestly have experienced all of them at one time or another with women I have been around.
But, on the wrong side of it:
Not intelligent enough- no degree
Too emotional.
Not high status-blue collar worker
Not enough money
Wrong type of interests ( #11)
You get my position....
I agree with the hobby one, I am not allowed to have a hobby else it takes away from my wife and kids. I actually sit at home on the computer just having to wait for everyone's whim to pull me away from anything that might interest me so I can jump to serve them.
Need to specify after the relationship is established, if you don’t have enough hobbies before then you’re boring or lazy.
The colour of your collar is not the issue; the issue is the same no matter your role. It's not you.
A man with interests and hobbies spends some of his paycheck on himself. This is unacceptable.
You are absolutely correct on #9. So many just are not able to budget. Thank you for sharing and #10 is way out of proportion to what they think they can handle. Everyone stay safe, warm, happy 😊 and healthy. From Henrico County Virginia
If you have to "budget" then you don't have an extremely high income. Back of the line, loser! Unless you like aging fat women.
Excellent content yet again, Emily. Of the great points you raised, the one I wanted to share, which touches on a few of your points, is the Non-Trad Woman. She’s the woman that chooses to reject traditional values, usually, she blames on “the Patriarchy”. Yet should a man say, “I agree. I am not interested in trad roles, like paying for meals, or marriage, or being the breadwinner/provider/rescuer is not for me”, she will give this guy a wide berth indeed. It’s a case of “right for me, not for thee”.
You need both though. My mom cooked the meat because my dad brought it home. Most guys today are expecting their wife to work 9-5 to help pay for the meat. Then expect her to cook it as well. I'd happily spend my days in the kitchen, but that relies on a traditional man. And most guys today are failing at that. I know they say it's harder to earn money now but that's kinda what you get when you vote for banning mexican people ahead of voting for lowering taxes.. which men did en masse.
My parents had a non traditiona but non femenist pov when it came to their marraige. They both had to work to support 4 daughters, and they both took care of us emotionall were there. They also took care of chorse together. They made sacrifices to help us go to a private Christian school.
I thank God for them, they taught me about a healthy balance. I'm not pretending they were perfect of course not but the did their best to be a team. They also taught my sister's and I to be self sufficient and I am sure that if they had a son they'd have made sure he did chores as well.
My father never told me that I had to be a wife and mom or that I had to work. He supported me along my journey. Sadly my mother passed away 2018 adn to this day he still misses her. She was a good woman, kind and loving and she cared about so many people around her.
Aye, lad, tha's right there.
@@MySimDied I didn't vote for Biden he raised taxes as soon as he got in office. I'm assuming you mean Trump with "banning mexicans" he lowered taxes and improved the economy. Until the great epidemic of stupidity in 2020.
"...the Truth? You can't handle the Truth...!" - A Few Good Men
Someone once said "humans desperately search for the truth, but they never know what to do with it once they found it", and its so accurate...
The iconic delivery by Jack Nicholson - yes.
It's a damn bit more than a few a this point.
Getting to the point where maths and physics is becoming a requirement.
Done being asked for the literally impossible delivered instantly.
You're a breath of fresh air compared to most of the entitled ones on the Internet, thank you
Headline: some women are not logical.
Also in the news: water is wet.
Actually, we could have a deep, almost philosophical discussion about whether water is wet... 😁
How dare you say water is wet!?
Water is rock solid cuz I feel like it is!
By wmn.
Well that depends on the temperature…
Omg i didn't know that water is wet 😱
You are a genius 🤯
News Flash: A Woman invents dry water to prove a man wrong.
This list is so spot-on that it stings a little. Thank you for producing this video.
The "sense of humor" one is very true. When asked, women will always put "sense of humor" or "makes me laugh" at the top of their list. But if they meet a man like that, within 5 minutes the woman will be saying "Whyyyy can't you be SEEERIOUS?!!"
You aren't able to be both?
I've always been a person who tried to laugh at the world (because otherwise I'd lose hope and just cry). When they pull out the "why can't you be serious?!" I reply with "I was a US Army medic, I'm not deployed to some shit-hole country where most of the populace doesn't want me there. The same people I'm trying to help aren't trying to shoot, maim, or blow me up. I don't have to see my friends get mangled in their 20's for a politician's resume point. I don't have a 19 year old screaming for mom while I try my best to put him back together even if he's missing limbs. All while artillery and gunfire are happening all around. I'm not covered in blood and gore from my trade. Then I'm not going to go home and drown all of that in Wild Turkey because my patient bled out while screaming and I'm not unaffected emotionally. Today isn't that serious." I often regret my service, but it does come in handy with perspective.
I think it's, maybe, because sense of humor for women is a completely different thing as masculine sense of humor. Men can have a few hours of laughter with something as simple as a fart, on the other hand, women couldn't see the point of it. Obviously, that was an extreme example, but my point is simple - our brains work humor differently..
I've had this said to me so many times, the best one a girl once said to me was why do you laugh at your mates jokes but not at mine...my reply cos they are funny and you are not, she threw me out on Christmas day telling me of course I needed to grow up 😜
"I want a man with emotional intelligence"
Same woman: "I'm not your therapist"
What they mean is to be attentive to THEIR emotions and stfu about your own.
Hoe_math has a point on that.
All a man wants is fidelity and peace.
I have to agree. I'm 55 and learned that many of the things a woman says she wants in a man is what she'll later complain about.
So many women will talk about wanting a strong, decisive leader but as soon as he is making good decisions and leading, she'll feel that she no longer has power and gets scared. I've seen women who are so strong willed they will fight over every single issue, just to show that they're really the one in charge.
Absolutely nailing ever point.
Oh, I get it now. #10 must be why I keep getting dumped.
The old meme:
Why I'm single:
[ ] too ugly
[ ] waiting for someone famous
[x] dick is too big, might hurt someone
🤣🤣🤣🤣 You need a visit to Mr Lube. And Mr Gloves, too...
Basically don’t listen to women in what they want. Most are horrible at choosing a man. Just pay attention to who’s in her dating history.
You insight and comments are well thought. I wish I could sit down and have a face to face conversation with you. Alas wishful thinking.
I tried dating but couldn't find a man who actually respected me. So I quit the dating apps period and stopped trying to chase the idea of the right man. In the end so far I took the time to get to know myself better so that if a good many comes along I will know more about myself and what I need not what I think I want. I would also looka this dating history as well.
Food for thought:
Single mothers have this in their dating history, got pregnant then broke up.
Men are so good at choosing women.. they propose, marry her. Then cheat on her. Didn't choose the right one?
1)A man to take the lead: until she's comfortable taking over
2)Man to show emotion: unless it exposes weakness
3)Vulnerability: unless it exposes weakness- catch22
4)Logic: refused if she has any emotional attachment to subject matter
5)Sense of humor: Intensity must meet her standards
6)Status: revered until it affects attention received
7)Intelligence: enough to know when to be submissive
8)Work ethic: revered until it affects attention received
9)Money: the more spent on her raises tolerance level on other traits
10)Well endowed: at request by 403s only
*11)Honesty: required but not to be directed at her
Men rarely qualify based on this partial list of demands forcing women to default to NO.
Men default to YES, pants around ankles, bc standards list is minimal for easy qualification
but somehow that's a rare find too.
A lot of girls talk about wanting an honest guy and one that is clear and takes the lead but then they completely freak out when a guy is honest, clear, and take the lead. Even after she shows clear signs of being attracted.
Said the same!
Which is why always assert yourself and never change yourself too quickly or not on your own volition, it's one of the few ways to expose who they really are, since usually they leave when they see you can't be controlled, but beware the covert ones since they can easily play along.
@@killshotcodx9446idk what to do honestly we were good friends for a long time, we hold the same values, she has shown clear signs that she is interested in me but she rejected me when I stepped up and said I wanted to date her. Idk if I should try again in a few months because she freaked out, or if I should just accept it and move on.
Honesty is only valued by people who intend to grow from it. She just doesn't want him to deceive her about the things she wants to know. Clarity is nice for her when it's not blunt or negative, like honesty. Taking the lead is an ideal that conflicts with the female zeitgeist believing that men cannot ever be trusted.
She is ruled by fear, and wants those fears to be alleviated.
The bigger the better... until the man is only half way in and the woman is in a lot of pain. No joke, that can happen. Sometimes it is to long, sometimes it is to thick. This idea that the bigger the better should REALLY BE "The snugger, the better."
How thick is snug? The size of a coke can?
I never got the bigger the better thing... that sounds painful!
@@francisdashwood1760 Exact definitions vary, from the size of the opening to the size of the thing being inserted, but generally the closer to the exact size plus a cm or two, the more pleasing it can be without causing pain. Hell, cm might be to much for some people, in which case preparation is needed. Preparation that could take weeks or months, in which time oral satisfaction is the next best thing to physical.
Think of the human body, literally any part where the first and/or main constraint is the skin and muscles, as a rubber ban. You might be able to find one that you can wrap around a pencil or two, or maybe your wrist, before it becomes snug against your skin. Now stretch that thing a little, maybe put a finger between it and your wrist, but no more. That stretching is probably the most that is safe for someone on the receiving end, IF you are lucky.
Why? Because the innards are actually experiencing micro tears. Very, very, VERY few, as in to small to even imagine, can actually lead to a mild sense of enjoyment. Think of when you got an itch that won't go away and you scratch that spot really good. The relief that sensation that you are feeling that is kinda painful but manageable are like micro tears. The heal up very quickly, but the body will release adrenaline and endorphins to soothe the irritation, and leave a pleasant feeling for people. Well... Our inner organs and parts of our bodies act the same way, within moderation.
Thank you for attending my Ted Talk.
Every woman is different but after some time and reading and feedback, you eventually see patterns and whatnot. A reallyyyy big member sounds good and probably looks nice too, but practically, lol, maybe not so much
Many women are illogical enough to disregard physical compatibility, and then gaslight themselves into believing that getting beat up inside, is how it's supposed to be... Poor guys just wanna slam it home, but they can't because they're incompatible. Have fun birthing the child of a small giant.
Women think they know what they want. That's usually the problem. There's a big difference between thinking and knowing.
Women don't Think, they Feel....🙄 SIGH
Not Their Fault that they were born having Nothing to Think With!
Exactly! Thinking is NOT knowing!!! 💯
Thank you, another well put together video, restoring my faith in young people. All the best from the UK
You could literally stop this at "A Man that takes the lead"
Great content as always!!!
Women consistently prove that their word is worthless: watch what she does because it's a more reliable method of measuring her worth.
I had a female teacher in middle school who I would gossip about behind her back all the time. She always found out about it, I do not know how, she must have had spies. She would usually pull me aside and ask me to tell her how I felt. Then, when I told her how I felt (and I made sure to be polite about it) she would laugh at me condescendingly. That was not fair. She initiated the conversation that I did not want to have. Just because her opinion does not agree with mine, that does not mean that I am wrong. If she wants me to say how I feel, being rude, disrespectful and condescending to me when I do it is not the way to accomplish that goal.
She did not want to hear my opinion. She wanted to hear her opinion coming out of my mouth.
@@julianbigelow2794 what else happened after that?
@@julianbigelow2794 "...her opinion coming out of my mouth." BINGO
I’d have to agree. When my husband crashed his motorcycle, I took tender loving care of him until he could walk again. When we were homeless, I busted azz with him to get us back up. I’ve known far too many women, when tragedy strikes, when illness hits, and when the money is gone… they’re gone. It’s disgusting… we celebrate 21 years together in 3 days 🎉
Men have their own down falls too, no one is perfect. This is why I walked away from dating. I'm not a femenist either. I'm a Christian who told them point blank before meeting them on a date that I was waiting for marraige to have sex. Each one said that they respected me until that date. I'm done with the hook up culture. It ruined everything. Men and women need to stop going down a toxic path.
The best thing about this video? How you got uncomfortable and embarrassed and barely touched on #10. That says you still have some innocence about you and a knowledge of what kind of discussions are and are not appropriate in certain situations. Good on you, Ms. Emily. Please don't ever lose that.
Embarrassment!? Lol she's just here to validate all the men who aren't measuring up. I mean it must be good money since she's posting almost everyday. Validating people who fall short and giving them false hope is profitable indeed.
She's had a lot of sexual partners. Not exactly sure how that means she has innocence left.
Get well soon sis 😊
Hello Emily: Excellent job on these. The one about wanting a man to lead but not being able to trust him to lead is spot on. Also women wanting men to be logical, but they have a huge problem with him being correct on something. Have a good day.
Mine used to say, a long long time ago, that she wanted someone who can challenge her to be a better person. You can guess the rest.
Henry Ford said if people were to be asked what they wanted, they’d say a faster horse.
Another content creator did an explanation yesterday of why women say they want something, they are given it, and they don't like it. His take is that the pipe between the subconscious desires of a woman and the conscious desires they have is very large, so some of what they say is their evolved brain talking, while their more primitive brain disagrees. Men have a much smaller pipe, so when we get those subconscious feelings, we disregard them because they don't make sense. We still have the primitive part, and when pushed, the rational brain shuts off and we get that primitive part. But men have denied their feelings long enough that we tend to dismiss anything from that part of our brain, even if it would yield some great insights about why people do things that baffle us. That said:
1. This is about control, and control is about fear. The whole purpose of taking control is to minimize the downsides to alleviate the fears of something going wrong. Women have been told forever and a day that men are monsters. They are untrustworthy. That has been in the female zeitgeist for more than a *century* at this point at one level or another. This is why a woman who wants a man to lead can't submit to that lead - doing so means dealing with irrational, anxiety-driven fears of a man destroying everything. How many times has she tried to make the assertion, guys, that you'd be lost without her?
2. I've recently had an epiphany about this that Emily points out: when women want you to 'open up', what they want is your happiness, your joy, and your excitement to match hers. She doesn't want the negative emotions because then she has to feel those, too. But this problem really stems from a lack of understanding of how men deal with their own negative emotions. Ladies, we can't be angry, or we could destroy something. We can't be sad because nobody wants to help us out of that. We can't be afraid because you look to us to be the meat-shields between you and your fears. You know better than anyone that negative emotions can be stronger than positive ones, and so we control those negative ones as best we can, and the light, fluffy, happy ones get tamped down in the process. A comedian made the joke once that his wife got mad at him for not being happy enough on his own birthday, and that he should apologize for it.
3. This one is the classic case of wanting everything. You want him to be an impervious rock so you can fall apart in his arms after your day goes bad. You want him to be cool under fire and just fix things for you. But you also say you want to know where the weakness in his armor is. And, when you know it, and you get mad, that's the first place you stab with your knife. And when he doubles over after you jab the knife in, you realize that he is not the invincible rock that is cool under pressure. Any man that you have met that won't show his vulnerabilities has gone through this. Women did that to men, on the whole. And I know what you are thinking: "He can trust me, I'd never do that!" What proof have you offered? How do you treat other men?
4. This one is the easiest to explain: Emotions have a motive, and follow cause and effect laws, but *make no sense* when looked at. You crying because you accidentally put the wrong key in your front door and it snapped off and now your ice cream is melting is understandable, but completely useless. Logic says that finding a way to get through the jammed door to get the ice cream back in the freezer is the only thing that will help. Ever wonder why a man wants to solve your problems when you want to vent? This is the entire explanation. A man does not have the luxury of crying and waiting for someone to fix it for him. He takes the multitool out of his pocket, removes the broken key, and unlocks the door to get the ice cream in the fridge before looking into how to replace the broken car key.
5. A sense of humor... So, I have two senses of humor. I have the worst dad jokes known to man, and a dark sense of humor with some inappropriate tones. My wife enjoys both for different reasons, but it took a bit to get used to the dark side of my humor because it takes no prisoners - including her! The issue is that she needed to trust me. When I make a joke, it is a joke. It might poke fun at something that the target could really stand to look at, but it is still a joke. "All humor is, by nature, critical of something." - John Cleese
6. Status means two different outcomes to men and women. Status, for men, means a lot more work - it's something you *make* for yourself. To maintain the status, people need to constantly feel he both deserves that status through his actions and what he provides, and that he commands that status well (isn't being a jerk, but also not being a pushover, and so on). To women, status is a thing you have, like a pretty dress. It makes you look good. If at any point, someone wishes to disrupt her status, she need only publicly humiliate the person seeking to disrupt it. A high-status man has not only other men seeking to gain some of that status by association, but some women attempting to get between her and the status so they can have it for themselves. The only way to keep a high-status man is to make yourself into whatever he wants you to be, and that will inevitably grate on you, ladies.
7. Oh, intelligence... Ladies, intelligence ties to so many of the other ones. Yes, great indicator of success, financially, because he is making the sacrifices and smart choices you'd *never* make to get where he is aiming to go. He lets logic be his rule and law in this, giving up one of his three square meals a day for a week to use the $25 that saves to build up a savings account so that, when his car inevitably breaks down, he has the ability to put it in the shop and have it back instead of wondering how to fix it. And he'll also learn how to fix it himself to save even more next time. An intelligent man won't let you have control if it your choices are not logical, and there is no room for emotions when plying intelligence. Plus, it allows him to think about thoughts, which means he can often see right through subtle machinations, and that is a bad woman's toolbox. Women hate feeling stupid.
8. You want the work ethic because he gets stuff done - both for you, and his job. This comes at the cost of him not lounging around and cuddling with you - he has always got something to do. We go back to wanting it all: I want a man who is my cuddle-pillow and I want a man who is respected at work and I want a man who gets my whole honey-do list done. It's like status: if a man is not constantly showing a strong work ethic, it means nothing.
9. Money creates status. Money affords the pretty, shiny things you want. Money makes you the envy of your circle of girlfriends. Money, among most women, is what makes the world go 'round. Songs like Santa Baby, Material Girl, Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend? They exist for a reason. But money has to be obtained. It doesn't fall in your lap. Either the man with it worked hard and sacrificed, or somebody else did and he got to profit off of it. He has become the thing many women want in a partner, and can therefore pick whomever he wants, for as little or as much time as he wants, so long as he doesn't marry her or let it become a domestic partnership, or have kids with her (because divorce laws are brutal and men logically handle that by not running into them). The man with money has materialistic women who, will paint their faces and dress in revealing clothing, for his pleasure in line so that they can get a piece of his wealth and status. Women who are not ashamed of doing some pretty distasteful things to stay in his good graces. Some men resist this sort of thing, though, and those men? You'll never know how wealthy they are.
10. I did not expect this to come up (pun possibly intended), and watching Emily blush is a treat. Anyway, there is another video you can find about this where the gal is using a tape measure to demonstrate how long 12 inches is. If I recall correctly, her phrasing was akin to "5-6 inches is fine. 7 is pushing it. 8 might leave you sore. 9 is possibly needing a day off tomorrow. 10 is a trip to the ER. I don't know where you plan to put 11 or 12." Do yourselves a favor, ladies who have size requirements: go measure one of your toys with an actual ruler (and don't pretend that you don't have one because the average woman spends $150-$200 on adult toys annually...) I can almost guarantee that the entire length that is meant to fit in is 8 inches or less. The only way you are taking on a man bigger than that is if he doesn't use all of it, and that seems a bit of a waste, doesn't it?
Really good stuff. Thank you for this post.
Thank you for the post. I hope this gets to be top comment. Fascinating read and many parts resonated with me alot! 👍
There are good women out there just like there are bad women. Not all of us are like you paint us to be. The same can be said about good and bad men. I do not paint you all as the same. Those points you made were long winded and pointless.
Trying to show off like men have all this logic and intelligence. Like a woman can't have logic, or figure things out without needing a man evertime. The fact is that not all women disresepct men, my mother was a good woman who loved and respected my father and he treated her with the same love and respect. They didn't look down on each other. Not saying they were perfect but the fact remains my mother didn't care about his money or status. My dad never tried to climb a corperate ladder.
I respect and love my father and I treat men with respect, despite my history with sexual abuse by two different men as I grew up. God helped me to realize that not every man is a perverted monster. Also he helped me to realize that being alone as a woman isn't something to feel ashamed of.
You claim base instincts and are using the 'evolution logic' which is a lie. Of course you bought it hook line and sinker. This means that you aren't as 'intelligent and logical' as you claim to be.
I also chose to stay single because men wanted one thing from me that I was not willing to give. I tried to date it was miserable because even though I was honest and clear upfront that I am a Christian woman who is waiting on sex for marraige and though they assured me prior to the date that they respected me. Those men proved to be liars and illogical. They think with hormones. You claim that women are ruled by emotions etc but men are easily lead astray in their own way.
I do not hate you and I do not hate men, 90% of them were perves and about 10% treated me with respect and because of the way my mother taught me to treat men with respect the way she respected and loved my father; I learned that status and money and looks have nothing to do with a good man's worth.
She didn't care about his looks or anything else that men seem to think all women are thinking. I have logic and intelligence and so do other women. I logically with God's helped realized that a woman's worth is not measured in marraige or kids. That is also true for a man, the pressure put on everyone to settle down is by societies standards. It got absorbed into the churches a long time ago so they claim it's from the Bible.
The Bible tells me that God said that not all of us are meant to be marrried. Just those who cannot abstain from fornication. With God's help I have grown stronger and more independent and happier! You don't have to be bitter towards all women.
I am being honest you are being lead by lack of logic and emotions that you claim men lack. Any man who rants for a whole page is full of emotion. That's teh truth of it. We all have emotions and our feelings can lead us down a bad path if we do not get them under control and realize that truth over feelings is important. My truth and focus is on God and not persusing the standards pressed upon me my whole life. I will pray for you.
Yes. Without even watching your episode, I can garantee that all your points were spot on for my ex (npd diagnostic). I called her "my lovely contradiction" and could often point out her contradictions within the same 10-20minutes span with direct quotes from her. It was mesmerizing to have no grip on reality like her.. utter lack of personal responsibility in life, blameshifting, pouting, shouting, anger, shame disgused at blaming others, argumentative without grounds to support, but if you respond (even with kindness and consideration) it often resulted in further angering her. She had no grip over her own emotions and other people were to blame for it when she was sole perpetrator of her mental situation with me. I usually take responsibility for saying something that could be misconstrued without much hassle and often perceive it as soon as I utter the words or it echoes in my mind and I Know, but in her case... I had to avoid a list of words that would trigger her sympathetic nervous system's defense mechanisms. It was beyond disturbing. Watch "Lee hammock's interview" here on youtube. Imagine what he describes, but in a girl that is strictly emotional, distorts events to justify her emotions and had just rejected her own mother. Also extorted money from her Aunt's business (partially hers due to Hadiths: sacred bullshit in Islam... where she's entitled to 30% of it xD). It's just all sorts of bad and despicable.
I am sorry that you went thru that but I hope you understand that not all women are like her. She clearly was off her rocker!
A man who can solve problems. My career was spent in Engineering (inventing things to solve problems) and Technical Support (solving urgent problems in real time) and that skill is hard to turn off. When my wife starts describing a situation, instead of just listening and sympathetic nodding, I launch into problem solving mode. Argh! She doesn’t want me to solve the problem, just listen.
I so feel you on this one, with partners or friends not moving to fast to problem solving.
My trick is to wait for a blank and ask a question or help in contextualize, if the person does not find an answer themselves propose to help them find one.
But I agree when you spend your time solving problems, refraining from solving one is soooooo hard
My husband just told me that we was moving into our house t the end of the month… I was low key tripping for a second. He has 2 contractors and himself working on the place before we do. Mind y’all, we are both still working our jobs!
I was stressed for a bit, but now, I know that I will be ok. We have been together for 23 years AND he has never put me in a messed up situation. Just gotta keep loving him and keep it moving on!
My experiences have shown the intelligence thing to be true. Women tend to not like men who have a good memory, can control of his emotions, and has the ability to articulate the reasoning behind decision making. This type of man is very typically very accountability focused and doesn't allow emotions to dictate his serious decision making process. Women will stick around for a little while thinking they can out think a smart man and will just get frustrated and angry when they can't.
To be fair, most people dislike intelligent people, unless they show it well.
I have the opposite experience: more often than not women have been impressed by ability to reason when I talked to them and when I was able to read through their subtle manipulations, they've seemed more genuinely impressed than angry or frustrated and it definetely didn't hurt the attraction in grils who were already attracted to me. It may have something to do with personality traits I select for in my friends but still, that's my experience.
My experience aligns with Daniel, and with Sren as well. But there are some women that get a sort of perverse enjoyment about being seen through by a keen mind, like And mentioned. It's all in delivery. You have to be almost coy and cocky when you do it. They are a little miffed that their original goal for manipulating you in the first place is lost, but it's almost daring them to try harder.
Your perspective brings great understanding.
Upon some consideration, Dr. King, a topic that might be worth thinking about is how the nastier women out there tend to adopt many male traits. They want to dominate the relationship, they use anger a lot, they do shaming, attacking a man's feelings of guilt (often very deep-seated and cultural), the try to keep a man unemotional and passive, basically a lot of rather more male characteristics of the type they claim to despise. So perhaps some thought and exploration about how many women display toxic masculinity themselves might be an interesting topic for discussion.
Thank you for doing these videos - they're a missing part in relationship management that no one ever teaches, and they're very sensible. Keep up the good work!
Hope to see you through the sickness. May it not overtake you. 1. Men have always had the duty of supporting a woman and protecting her. 2. Emotions. Enough said. 3. Any sign of weakness can immediately turn off a woman. But in a healthy relationship it is right to show weakness so it can be worked through between the 2. (4. Logic of what happens in the mind of a man, me being one, I know what it's like to be a quiet person when it comes to relationships. I have recently tried to put myself out there, but it either doesn't happen or work out the way one intended. 5. This is a BIG one. Every couple, married or not, should be able to make jokes or tell a funny story without feeling offense. Or feeling that they have said something offensive. 6. I know many women want a man who can support himself, but many man can't seem to get past a friendship cuz the said man doesn't have tons of money. I have been looking for someone for quite a while, and no, I don't have a whole ton of money. But it's not about the money. It's about the way both genders treat each other, which would lead to marriage down the road. 7. Wow. Ain't this a good one. Most men now you see as doctors or scientists. But being me, I am not a doctor or scientist, but I know quite alot. I am a history buff and love to give the little bit of history I do know. 8. Work ethic is crucial. Depending how one may be in a work place depends how far they thrive. That's why a great and friendly and knowlegdeable attitude is important. 9. Again it's not all about the money. It's about how a man treats you, and how you treat them. Many couples or married people divorce or break up cause they just wanna use the 'significant other' just for money. Money is the root of all evil. 10. Well. This is eye opening. But this is another major one. If there is no intimacy or even the slightest hug or kiss, there's a problem, and it can be worked through with simple talking and no arguing but just simple explanations and understanding. Such a great video Emily. I absolutely love your wisdom. Feel better soon.
To me, you sound absolutely fine even if you're dealing with a cold. There's a certain smile in your voice and comfort in listening to you speak that's reassuring.
As a 34 year old southern man: it actually kind of blows my mind that women of this caliber still exist lol. (Referring to Emily)
We're out here
Can confirm we do exist.
Good video. You are saying things with kind, grace and a wonderful smile. Thank you
Emily, you are such a gem. Keep the hits comin’! 😘
I agree with you - so good see a person smile all time, 🌈
You really glossed over #2, I think that one's really important to talk about. Women don't want to see a man cry. Say they do, they do not. And that's just one facet of that topic. Love your channel, so much. Keep it up, please.
I don't talk to impersonating accounts. Reported. Fuck off.
Women want to see a man make other men cry.
Hope you feel better soon sweetheart you still have a beautiful comforting voice i always trust you. You are a good person
Simp.
@@americandissident9062 she is a goddess
@@liamodonovan6610 She’s a standard woman with above average conscientiousness.
@@americandissident9062 she is fine the way she is
@@liamodonovan6610 She is never going to fuck you. Calm down.
I really enjoy your videos and shorts and they provide a great mental cleansing after I've done a lot of news watching..BE-cause..you are so likeable.
With regards to emotions, I remember a great interview with Warren Farrell. He used something he called the superman analegy. Lois Lane goes out of her way to have superman open up about his emotions, But she has no time for Clark Kent. Why? Because she already know superman is very powerful at competent and can handle everyhting, and it is then, and only then, that she really wants emotion, but then she truly does wants it and is sad, when superman does not show it.
The female who can’t accept Clark Kent has mental dissorders 😂.
Number 10 was funny! It kinda made you blush and you were right about it too!
You are a gem Emily.
Most of your points refer back to one point... logic. Love your work!!
Literally just was broken up with after Christmas after we were talking about all of the things we were going to be doing up through her birthday in February. She said I was great, but I want a relationship and she isn't ready for that and wants to focus on her friends and kids. This after the entire time she and I were both all about the relationship and each other and where it was going. Not looking at marriage, but being each other's person, best friend and intimate partner. Still don't understand, but I guess she just couldn't handle what she thought she wanted and that I am actually that, for her.
She simply don’t think you are sexy anymore. It was just your turn, she was never yours. At least you are not a incel and got laid. Now get on with your life
I used to have a group of girl-friends I used to hang out with after church dances at a local 24 hour diner.
We would chat and be open about our feelings, and if I'm at the mall they would ask me if an outfit was cute. But they would not go out on dates with me.
They want somebody to talk to but when they do they just aren't interested you as a boyfriend.
There's no such thing as toxic masculinity. Masculinity is being able to handle your emotions, remain stoic, especially in pressure situations. Women respond favorably to this BECAUSE it is a biological reality of desiring a competent mate that can protect them in times of danger that can occur randomly. Women responding negatively to emotional expression does not make them bad women, but just women being who they are. It makes you a good man to not react to your emotions.
Not reacting to emotions, is not the same as supressing them.
And a healthy female don’t neglect her man.
At the same time men need to be stoic to survive in this world. But also able to « self-sooth», and to « esteem him self». That is we can’t count on others to esteem us. Or female will automatic lose sexual interest in us, if she sence that her man is unable to self-esteem, self-care him self.
But a healthy female should not troll, nag, bully her man for haveing emotions. A healthy female should accept that life has up’s/downs and that her man needs to know that she is lojal.
In my mind i think that is all we can exspect from a female. She can literally Duck a new man every day, so this takes alot of effort on her part. I think men often lack the empathy to understand this
@@Ikaros23 I agree.
There absolutely is such a thing as toxic masculinity, it's just not what feminism says it is. For example, a man that can take the lead is healthy/normal masculinity. A man that feels he has to crush and suppress a woman so that he has absolute control, that would be an example of leadership become a toxic trait.
@@gentlegiants04 no that's just toxic and not masculinity.
@@Soulja4ChristWeAreAtWar I can't agree on that. Both masculine and feminine traits can be taken to extremes that make them toxic. Almost anything, when taken to extremes, becomes unhealthy.
Really enjoyed this one, Emily. Thanks. I would say that, although you kind-of touched on it with the guy who needs to be with her but also be working, I think there’s one you missed. Or you could have added. It’s the guy who is devoted to the woman. Once a guy is belittled by her, she loses all respect for him, and has nothing but contempt for him. Yet she says she wants undying love, like in movies and books.
Those who should watch this video aren‘t going to anyway.
Emotional thinking won’t get you around seeing the paradox of wanting a man who has a high work ethic and high status but then you also want time with him
One thing I have found is that if a couple is at different stages in their life it can cause friction like for instance one of the couple is already working and the other has not had a full-time job yet it can cause friction because the one that has not had a job doesn't understand the stress an energy a job requires
Another thing I have found is if they have two different types of jobs say one inside and one outside the inside one just wants to go out and the outside person just wants to stay in it can cause friction
@@Phoenix407 Or one works with people all day and the other alone. The first wants to stay cozy at home in the evening and the other wants to go out and be social.
@@Phoenix407my wife deals with people all day (cosmetologist) and I work alone, so I FINALLY want to talk to someone when I get home, but she wants to decompress (phone games or reading) quietly
Dead on, all 10. I divorced my wife when I realized that her expectations were so conflicting that it was literally impossible to make her happy. Maybe if she had been quietly disappointed, it'd be one thing, but she was violently angry whenever she got disappointed.
Good move. The difference of a mature/intelligent person and a fool/unhappy/unluck/toxic partner. Is that the later get’s irritated/wexed/angy over exsternals that is not under their control.
They most often never feel content and blames externals ( you) for their lack of self-dicipline ( impulls control)
Good move!. Go « no contact» and never look back, don’t take the bait if she try to get back in. It’s 99% odds there is no change ( accountability)
Here there is truth 👏 👏
I’d be curious to know your male vs female audience. More ladies need to find your channel. Keep it up!
The things one needs to understand about “modern” vvomen are:
__1__ *non-accountability:* That explains all the conundrums. Anything that points to her having some accountability will be opposed. That includes honesty, emotional transparency, logic, the weather, words starting with the letter “e”, you name it. Everything is fine if it does not.
__2__ *She is NEVER wrong:* Similar to non-accountability, she has to be right. That means facts do not matter, your perspective does not matter, … heck, YOU don’t matter.
__3__ *Solipsism:* It is all about her.
__4__ *Selfishness:* Not only is it all about me, everything has to be a gain for me, or it is YOUR fault (and you must mitigate any perceived loss).
__5__ *Denial of the Wall:* Hot grrrrl summer last forever… right? I'm a 10 because I "believe" I'm a 10!
= = = = =
This is red flags of narcissistic personality dissorder.
Not all females have these traits, but it is highly possible you attract these types if you have « codependent traits»
@@Ikaros23 >>>>>>>>>>>>>This is red flags of narcissistic personality dissorder.but it is highly possible you attract these types if you have « codependent traits»
I'm impressed, because I thought by the title there would be little to none matching my relationship, but it is almost a perfect score
I learned to go with less sleep ...
Finally an emily 10 list i can agree with. This is based. She understands the female perspective. She still fumbles a bit in a man's perspective, but I feel like she's learning.
Protective is a trait that many women don’t understand. A truly protective man keeps himself ready by training and taking actions to keep himself and those he loves safe. It can be seen as overbearing.
Many women from my past couldn’t handle my protective nature however my now wife of 10 years lets me know that part of what she loves about me is that she knows she’s safe whenever I am around.
I hope your channel continues to get bigger!
Dont get over the aickness, get down with the sickness. OOOH WA AH AH AH
Correct!
Your dumb!
LOL😂
Get well soon, Emily. Another good video.
Logic. Women hate it when a guy uses it and she doesn't "feel" that way. Even when she logicaaly agreees
Keep them coming Emily, enjoying your series. And about the picture, its still crooked. Try a bubble level on the bottom, as long as the ceiling is level, then also will the picture look level. 🙂
I don't think the ceiling is level - we may just have to live with it ... !
"I want a rich man". Ok, youre never going to see him because hes working all the time. Youre never going to spend the money because thats how he got rich. Hes not going to be the man you want because theyre a lot of the time narcissistic, rude and aggressive because thats what it takes to succeed in business.
Rich men don't have to work. Working is optional for the wealthy (many do work, but it's more of a hobby or even a calling for them, they don't need more money)
Love watching your videos, Emily. Plus, they are delivered with such sincerity and humor.
Women just want a pretty ATM that fix everything in the house and also can be a bodyguard.
All that you stated, i agree, women have a hard time dealing with these! Question: what type of man who are either, Alpha, Beta, delta, sigma, which one would females prefer?
Advice, they want mans advice but do the complete opposite
This is a « askhole»= person who constantly ask for advice but never listens 😂= 🚩
Well put together. Money doesn’t make the perfect man, the perfect hubby comes from the motivation to make money. And as a man, women are the source of a man’s motivation to improve his status.
That list should remind me to be about yourself first, work on yourself, be yourself and don’t worry if a girl doesn’t like you or leaves you over something you can’t control.
I hear interested in the arts as well. As a classically trained musician who majored in performance, my musical inclinations typically make it harder in relationships.
Here’s a funny example:
My ex asked me if she was a good singer, and I said yes. She asked if she could go professional, and I said “if you were to get training, it’s possible.” She gets offended and asks me why I would say she needs to get formal training. I tell her it took me 15 years and a degree to develop the necessary skills to make money doing what I do, and she has the gall to tell me that she doesn’t think there is a difference in our abilities. I snapped and reminded her that while I was getting first in state and going to music festivals, she was unable to get more than side side characters in her high school musicals.
Yeah, that went over as well as you might think, but I learned that a lot of women don’t want an artistic guy if it means he is more knowledgeable about the arts than them. It becomes a point of insecurity.
I’ve found that women get jealous of how much time you have to invest into being a musician.
@@williamsporing1500
She was never jealous of the time I spent doing it. I was doing that while she was at work most of the time, so it never took time from her. In every case that it’s been an issue, it’s due to some kind of competition. I think many women assume that they will be more knowledgeable about the arts and expect deferral to them in those matters. When that’s subverted, they get insecure about their tastes and preferences around a man who clearly knows more.
The list of what they want totally changes once they marry you. 😂😂
1-10. Women want money. Nothing else.
I have had to deal with the emotions crap. She complained about me yelling and slamming things. So I stopped. Then she complained when I would walk away. Then she complained about my sighing.
The work thing too, aggravating as hell.
Everyone has trouble putting logic over emotions for the record
it's a skill you typically learn growing up.
I really enjoy your content on defending good men and how women should reciprocate his actions and affection! Thanks for helping women see what good men have to offer! ❤❤❤❤❤😊😊😊😊😊
Get well soon .. hardworking Emily 👍😁
Pretty much nailed it.
Share your feelings honestly? Better be prepared to have it used against you.
She asked you to lead more? Get ready for her to call you controlling if you dont let her have everything she wants, even if it hurts you or the rest of the family.
She wants you to share your emotions? Better think twice as she gripes about why you aren't mindlessly gleeful or solidly stoic 24/7.
One thing women have to understand is that if they want these kinds of qualities in their men, qualities that are typically identified as "leadership qualities" then they have to be willing to follow their man's lead. Not compete with it. If we have no one who is guaranteed to follow us, to support us when we are at our lowest and to lift us up when we break, then why cultivate many of these leadership qualities in the first place? Behind every great man is a loving, caring, considerate, compassionate, supportive woman.
Needs love react.