Something I’ve realized about my “introverted” way of being is that I prefer deep, intentional interactions w people and if it is not that, I would rather be alone.
THIS. Exactly my feelings, because I am comfortable enough in my own space that I'd rather be alone then spend time that feels draining/ not life-giving. I've been really trying to create those intentional interactions and not have my expectations too high so I can give more people a chance to take root in my life, but there is always a natural flow that happens with the right people and I trust that
Does wanting deep connections make you an introvert? If you gain energy/replenish through these deep meetings with others, then I think that's extroverted.
I did a little ritual during the new moon last night to attract new friends, I realized that the friends I currently have are drifting apart because we are all becoming new versions of ourselves, I've isolated myself ever since my teen years due to my anxiety and insecurities which has now taken a toll on me because now I feel like I'm actually fearful of social interaction, even at work I struggle to form conversations with certain coworkers. I do enjoy my own company, but I also desire to be amongst others whom I can be safe, comfortable and exist as myself 😌
You've explained me perfectlyyyyyy!!!!!! I'm getting more comfortable meeting new people if they share the same passions as I do. That has really, really helped me because we share that common interest. Im still really picky with who I am friends with and, at this moment in life, I really need friends to support me through what I am going through, but I currently have none lol
So well put! Thanks for sharing, I identify with this completely. I also feel like it’s more difficult to find new friends as you get older. As if everyone already had their group of friends very settled and they didn’t have the will to engage in new deep friendships.
I used to feel intense social anxiety. At some point, I realized that it wasn’t actually social anxiety, but PERFORMANCE anxiety. Leaning into the authentic self was really helpful with that. Still introverted, less anxious now 😊
I totally relate with that. As I lean more and more into my authenticity and acceptance of myself as I am. I notice that I feel more comfortable being around others, because I can just be myself and I don't have to be like them or judge myself for not being like them. Which in the past used to feel like a performance anxiety!! Thank you for sharing that! 💞
@@livarnold492 keep reminding yourself that just by existing you are so much more than enough. I think social media has conditioned us to look everywhere else for validation. It can only come from deep within. YOU ARE AWESOME. Just you. As-is. All of the other noise in the background is just trying to sell you something.
“Are all of my attempts at being alone the result of being an introvert? Or are there parts of me that still feel unworthy of being seen?” Such a really good question for self-reflection!!!
I think being an introvert or extrovert is really dependent on how your brain processes stimuli in the environment. Introverts tend to have a deeper processing and notice more stimuli which can lead to overstimulation and the wish to avoid overwhelming situations such as social events with a lot of people. In contrast extroverts are actively seeking stimulation as they don’t process the stimuli as intensely and are therefore more outgoing. Our individualistic society promotes the extrovert character instead of the intovert one while it is a bit of a different story in collectivist countries. Either way both personality styles can be considered as evolutionary strategies that are shared by other species, both have their advantages. We should not judge ourselves:) I feel like I was always an introvert and I often got negative feedback but as I am accepting this part of me now, and taking care of my needs, I also feel much more comfortable in social situations.
I can feel that me and some of my friends are slowly drifting apart because we don't have the same vision of life or the same interests. And it's very hard for me, as an introvert, to find new friends. When I meet new people, I am usually disappointed, as for me there is no connexion, feeling, even though I'm proud of me for taking initiatives. Since there is no feeling, it's usually very hard for me to keep making conversation with the person, so I prefer making them talk about themselves by asking questions, but the problem is that because of that, the person want to keep seeing me and be friend. In the end of the day, I feel more and more alone because there is a lack of deep connexion, a lack of mutual interest. (I have a lot of non mutual or reciprocat relations, since a lot of people that I meet talk a lot about themselves but don't make space for me, it ends up like a monologue). Maybe one day I will meet someone who watch your videos, if they have the same vision as you of life and relations I'm sure that things will be different!
Know that you are seen. I often find that people claim me as friends and source for safe space but I do not feel that in return. It says a lot about you that people feel safe with you and hopefully that is reciprocated to you soon 🫶🏾
@@anitaasworldd Thank you, I really hope it will reciprocated one day. Even if I'm an introvert and love being alone, I think as every introvert we still need to talk to people and make connexions, but it feels harder than non introvert people ahah
I’m the same way. I feel like most people talk to me so they can hear themselves. Same boat here . I usually end up asking them questions about themselves but they don’t try to get to know me/to see me. Hopefully one day I’ll find the right people and be seen
Wow I've found my people. Lol I identify with this so much. Everyone from my friends to complete strangers always want to use me as their "emotional dumpster" to then feel better afterwards & go on their way; but no one is ever there for me or able to hold space for me in any way. It's never reciprocal; always a one way street- a lonely one.
I love what you said about what to do when you're feeling awkward in social situations and what to talk about. I've struggled with social anxiety my whole life and one of the best pieces of advice I ever got was to focus on making the other person feel comfortable and heard. I think a lot of social anxiety/awkwardness comes from being hyperfixated on how we're being perceived by the other person, so in my experience when you put the focus on the other person and pick their brain instead, it takes a lot of pressure off yourself.
It's so funny because after filming this video, I had a day interacting with people I always get So in my head around, and I was able to use my own advice.. It really does get you out of your own attachment to being perceived clearly or highly. In those moments I saw the strong narrative that "I'm bad at this" or "I need to learn to feel safe around more kinds of people, what's wrong with me" but the truth is I think everyone has moments of overwhelm or insecurity to a varying degree around new people. And I think introverts can get more hyper fixated on those narratives than an extroverted person who trusts their ability to break through the initial awk stages of getting to know people. I felt this need to remember I'm not the only one in the world who struggles to break the ice, it was consoling and allowed me to be human, knowing the folks I was connecting with also might have been feeling the same way. I felt insanely more ease. We're all just souls evolving any way Sorry for the rant hehe
@@HitomiMochizuki222 Don't apologize, rant away lol! That's awesome to hear that you were able to put your own advice into practice. I feel like that in and of itself is a beautiful thing because it can be hard if you're someone like me, whose natural instinct is to hyper fixate on those narratives you mentioned. I think it takes a bit of mindfulness of both yourself and others to recognize those anxious ways of thinking, and then like you said, realize that you're not the only one who struggles with those feelings.
That voice memo gave me chills. To have such positive words spoken in one’s direction has to be exhilarating. Just being a virtual bystander, it made me feel an immediate positive change in my mood.
HOLY SHIT THE 4 MINUTE MARK REALLY SPOKE TO ME!! I only feel like I can show up too when i am "my best self" rather than sharing my authentic self with my friends at all times and seeing if they can accept all of me.
i neededddd this video. Ive been talking about my feelings of "shyness" and inadequacy when sharing space with others with my therapist. I realized that a lot of the reasons i thought i was shy were definitely coming from me feeling insecure and being afraid to take up space. Im now learning that although im not shy, I am introverted. Im selective with my energy and so being around a big crowd or new people that I haven't gotten a chance to assess is nerve-wracking for me. I recently had to communicate a boundary with my best friend and after crying and being anxious about it for days, we spoke and it was so well received. Like you said, its beautiful to show up in all your humaness and still be loved. Thank you for this video Hitomi 💗
This energy/ awareness shift makes my heart SO happy. Look at you showing up differently! And creating more safety for your sacred soul! Your humanness is incredibly worthy of love & I am excited for this truth to continue being reflected in your life
I think just want to be more outgoing for myself , but also I do feel overwhelmed like the though being high Energy all the time , it seems so draining, like having thought to put on a show just makes me nervous lol 😂 and yeah I get in my head alot , I really do overthink
Something I’ve found super helpful is that i planned my social interactions around my cycle. Pre menstruation is when I realise I have overflowing thoughts and I need people to listen, and that actually works pretty well !
Thank you so much for this video, I judge myself for not being as extraverted as "I should be" but I think that accepting oneself and living authentically is really a great thing.
Woah, introvert vs insecure really just hit me in my heart. I think i've been hiding behind the former, when the reality is the latter. I really only like turning up for my circle when I to look and feel my best. Thankyou for the realisation :) I hope you feel the love and how much you help people
this was such an eye opener for myself. Although I knew it deep down, I needed to hear from other people to accept that that is exactly what I am doing now. ❤ thank you
Speaking boundaries can feel so much more difficult when overthinking, which is why I appreciate all of the practical examples with the voice memos included. That was really helpful!
You are a mature woman beyond your years !! I congratulate you for being true to yourself. As long as you are at peace with yourself, being alone is a conscious decision you make. You are definitely not anti-social and don't ever let something called loneliness overwhelm you !!!
Being an introvert myself and being someone with social anxiety and who get overwhelmed a lot in those moments plus overwhelmed a lot with sounds lights etc.. I totally get you, letting others know prior what you will do helps a lot, just a few people get kind offended by my way of interacting btw most of them don’t honour my energy either way so they are just lateral flows who just enter and get out of mine! Finding coping mechanisms and boundaries help me a lot. Something that is helping me opening up a lot is going to sister sound circles bringing my drum and chant together as also doing yoga morning and night and go to breathwork and reiki sessions! Thanks as always Hitomi x
Mmm I love this! Yes facilitating that sacred space with friends rather than putting yourself in environments that don't feel conducive to the relating you enjoy. Being" in the practice" together makes this so much easier
I love how you talk about setting boundaries and clarifying what you can offer and you make it sound so easy, because it should be. The hard part is knowing who you are and what you want and need, in a society that doesn't think this is important enough to be taught. We should learn this stuff at a very young age. Then, knowing this, the right people will accept you and negotiate with you according to their own needs and wants
As an introvert who just wants to peacefully, quietly exist around other people - what an amazing video and wonderful tips! I am going to put into action some loving boundary-setting to help get the most out of my precious friendships. Thanks Hitomi! ❤️
Aweee "precious" is the perfect word for the sweet connections that are present and loving!! I adore the integration here for you - to feel even more safe and expanded in togetherness. I genuinely love just being quiet with people so much
Your wisdom makes me feel so seen, you are such a positive, beautiful guiding light. I am 18 and trying to be kinder to myself and I experience so much guilt and anxiety as an queer, femme, introverted human. This content makes me feel hopeful and excited. Thank you so much sharing :)
Thankyou for being so open and honest and for making space for fellow introverts to feel accepted and loved for exactly who they are 💕😊 I resonate with so much of what you just said Hitomi, especially the part about losing your personality when you feel anxious around others. I personally feel like I involuntarily take on the personality/traits/ speech pattens etc. of others when I'm uncomfortable, and I'm still trying to figure out how to navigate that. It feels like even if I try to 'be myself' I honestly cannot even remember how I usually talk and act, then I have a deep sense of guilt for betraying myself and moulding myself into who I imagine somebody else would want me to be.
I am very introverted and I absolutely relate to everything you say. Sometimes I feel crazy because no one around me understands me, and when you said it helps you to call someone who does understand you I realized thats why I love watching your videos. You help me to realize that it’s completely okay to feel the way I feel and I should do what feels the most natural to me instead of shaming myself. It’s how I recharge and feel the most happy and myself, so thank you 🌸☺️
When I was younger I struggled a lot with feeling inadequate, lonely, and like I wasn't really good enough to have people around. I always assumed I was an introvert, but as I've gotten older I've started to realize a lot of my characterization of myself as an introvert came from me not wanting to deal with the shame of feeling like I wasn't good enough. In reality, I feel the most like myself, the most grounded, when I have community around, new people to meet, and a lot of access to other people. It can be difficult to figure out whether something is a security blanket or if it's actually right. But it's difficult to find that sense of community
Hitomi thanks for empowering all of us in our introvert discovery journey! Your channel is truly a safe place, be proud of what you've created bc you're helping so many people
That is exactly the video that I needed! I'm feeling so tired today, emotionally not capable of taking anything, I feel that I just need rest and grounding... Great reminder that it is always good to be authentic, true to yourself, speak your own truth and what feels right to you 🦋
It’s like you put whatever I felt into words. The judgement- when I talk too less or I talk more and over share and be hyper. I was /am not kind to myself at all. Being an INFP feels so hard.
I experience that during my childhood, teenage years and young adult. I know how much it's difficult try to focus on your self and go out for walk or anything when it's happening because sometimes those situations make us forget ourselves. I hope you are ok.
Hitomi, your videos are like a healing hug to my soul. Thank you for always being a safe space and kind soul enlightening us constantly with your wisdom ❤❤
Hitomi, thank you for sharing the friend's response to asserting your boundry. As someone who was not raised in a very healthy environment (and is possibly autistic lol), its really useful to be given the vocabulary of what healthily recieving a boundry looks like. "I take on board what you're saying" is about the best I could do prior 😂 Thank you! x
Congrats on 1 mill, and thank you for this video, I have became an introvert due to mental health a couple of years ago, and I’m not really mad about it, but again thank you for this video🥰
your words just really explained my heart and touched my soul and also gave me so much trust in myself and that all of my feelings are completley valid and welcome… i am so thankful that there are human beings like you who are so open and authentic, it inspires me not to be my „best“ version of myself, more to be my truest self.
Thank you Hitomi for this beautiful video! Right now I’m struggling with opening up. I’m too an introvert and a very private one. But for me it is not the feeling that “I’m taking up space” that prevents me from opening up but the feeling that if I let others into my thoughts and dreams, they will poison them. I know it’s weird since I have very good friends who would be supportive of me. But it feels more safe to have something done and then say it to others rather than the opposite
Thank you so much for this video🥰I know as an introvert it can be hard to find a good balance between isolating and getting in touch with others So much love for you🥰🙏
Thank you Hitomi - this is the video I needed to see on this calm Saturday morning spent on my own, in my own stillness and not feeling ashamed of it. You are wonderful and every word you spread probably contributes to changing someone's mindset somewhere in the world
Thank you for this video, I really needed tips! I discovered your channel two weeks ago and it has become a place I come when I'm feeling anxious, so thanks for helping me through those times! Keep being light in this world ! kisses from Brazil🇧🇷
I'm an introvert but used to be very introverted when I was younger. I agree it's good to honour that sometimes, but on the other hand, life is meant for growth. We have to do things that make us feel uncomfortable sometimes in order to build up resilience. Exposing ourselves to our fears is what helps us fear them less.
wow! I resonate so much with deciding, am I an introvert or trying not to be seen so my flaws don't show. I didn't finish the video yet but just had to write that down.
Once again, stopping in to listen to you talk is so beneficial. As a fellow introvert, I found your insight in line with my perspective. Thank you, Hitomi, for always being you and sharing your journey.
Thank u so much for this vid, really resonated with me 💖 I teared up when your friend sent you a voice memo back responding to the boundary 🥺 my inner child needed that! I have so much anxiety around setting boundaries (but I am doing it still!) and have received a lot of resistance or it not being honored when I do. I'm going to try to imagine that someone would respond that way when I set my next boundary💓
this video has an absurd timing..I've been isolating for almost three weeks now and recently I started to feel alone, so I reached out to a friend just to clarify my absence and even that was somehow liberating. I reflected on the fact that, as you said, I feel like I don't want to upset my friends by going out with them just because I am not feeling my best self and I like my energy wouldn't probably be valuable to the people I care about. Anyway, thank you as always for letting us introverted feel more understood and for your ever precious insights
I loved this video. Feels good to hear what other people who are introverts do to have healthy and happy relationship with themselves and with others. I especially struggle with making deep connections since I have moved around so much and you seem to manage, so it’s great to hear about your experience. Sending you love !
Hitomi! I just wanted to say it has been amazing seeing you grow and rediscover who you are and create who you want to be in this world for yourself, your friends, family and us. I have been slowly watching your videos from the very beginning of your UA-cam journey because I was recently so inspired by you and wanted to get to know you and your story. Doing this has helped me have hope in my spiritual and healing journey and I can't thank you enough. You are the friend and sister I always needed and I'm so thankful for your vulnerability and strength to share so much of who you are with us. Your videos brighten my day, and I love being able to get to know your beautiful soul. I wish I could find friends like you who are in tune with themselves, nature and are just trying to grow in this journey we call life. Thank you for being that friend virtually, I love learning from you. Much love from your friend Abril in Texas! God bless you Hitomi
As an introvert I am certainly not shy and I don’t think it is helpful to define and to assume that all introverts are shy. The simplest way to describe an introvert is we recharge by being alone and extroverts recharge by being with other people. I don’t have an issue with being an introvert , we dislike small superficial small talk and prefer smaller groups and deep meaningful conversations. ❤️
My goodness Hitomi. You are just an absolute blessing. I feel like everytime i watch your videos I become calm because i resonate with alot of what you talk about. I feel very similar to you!! Thank you thank you for being you and sharing all of you, the 'darkness' and the lightness. Thats important. Its all beautiful and real and truthful and ahhhh Thanks xoxoxo From Australia
This video hits my sould so deeply. I needed this so much! I've been feeling more and more introvert during the last few years and I keep punishing myself for being in silence and quite in dinners with a lot of people, for example. I see myself in every single word you said, so I just wanted to thank you for this one. THANK YOU!
I've been struggling with this exact thing for awhile. It's been more pressing on my subconscious lately as I am trying to get better of navigating being connected to others and speaking my truth etc. Last night I was blessed with your presence within the astral realm, you helped me with this exact thing.. I felt blessed to be sort of guided by you as friends with unconditional love and gentle understanding. thank you for guiding me in the physical and astral realms. I know we are friends in our angelic bodies. Thank you for being. your soul is a healing gift. With love, Thank you.
Thank you for sharing, I really connect with what you say. Just feeling the same helps and know that I’m not alone. I’m so glad you are here, beautiful soul ❤️
Your videos and spirit speak to a part of myself I forgot about and shoved down so long ago. ❤️ I have always had a heart full of love and a softness but when I was younger through trauma it no longer felt safe. I’ve spent the past 3 years really reconnecting with that truest most beautiful version of my spirit. I put on armor for so long because I felt like that part of me wasn’t enough. Thank you for being your truest self and reminding me of who I am in the process.🙏🏻❤️
After your video coincidently I had a conversation in the middle of the night with my dad expressing anxiety that he has internalized surrounding me and just a view into what the future holds for our relationship. Your advice has really helped me to communicate and hold space for others. Thank you
I pray that I can find a group of loving and caring people to support me as you have found. I’ve felt so incredibly lonely and isolated lately and have no support to push me out.
Hi Hitomi, i don’t know if you’ll see this but i’ve been struggling a lot lately and wondered if you could offer any advice? My partner broke my trust roughly 6 months ago and I still have soul crushing emotions and panic attacks when they refer to new friends they’ve made or when they’re with other people and i’m alone. At first it was out of fear of them acting inappropriately with these other people, but now I think it comes from lack of self love and thinking that others will always be better that me and what I have to offer. I love being alone but this is something that makes it feel really uncomfortable! I find myself distracting myself with other people even though it isn’t what I want because these horrible feelings come up when I’m alone! You're a true inspiration, thank you for all you do.
Hey Maddy, I’m so sorry for the pain your going through, I’m sending prayers of ease and love towards you. I’m no Hitomi but if I can offer one advice, it would to introspect more than you prospect, detach yourself from the thoughts of what your ex partner may be or not be doing and focus more on why you feel how you feel. I.e. find out the origins of your insecurities, sit with the discomfort and aim to understand yourself and come to yourself, if you neglect your feeling because of the discomfort, it will be difficult for you to move forward with a light heart
Thank you Hitomi for this enlightening video:)) your soul seems so kind. I came across one of your videos about a month ago, and I started watching it but I stopped because I didn't think we believed in the same things and in my mind at that moment I felt like I would deter my own beliefs that I've catered to and nutured for so long. Earlier today, I found myself thinking over my relationships with family and friends, as well as, my social contribution to my college experience (freshman) and how stressful it's all been. I was praying to God about how I really want friends who genuinely know me and can teach me wisdom and vise versa because I've never had that. Then, I came across this video, and I decided that maybe there's a reason. You speak so eloquently about what it feels like to just be a human being in this world, especially one that wants to set boundaries and who is actively determining their worth while also being kind to others and respecting themselves. You spoke straight to my heart when I really needed it. Thank you 🤍
Just wanted to say that i have learned so much about my self worth en self love thru your video's! The way you how to set boundaries but share them with loved ones is mind breaking. In my country there's no room for feelings, but I'm learning to express them en learn from them since you're learning me that my feelings are valid!
SAME!!! (regarding the extroverted two other siblings/them always having friends over!!!! Yo and I'm the oldest hey 🥺🙈) Those are really good questions in the beginning of this video. Questions I've recently, strangely enough, been confronted with, as a socially inept 28 year old introvert. But I'm gonna loop this video as much as possible going forward because I know you're the one that's gonna help me become a confident introvert who actually wants to do things and not get burnt out easily just because I'm breathing the same air as two other people (if that makes any sense!🙈). So thanks for blessing us Hitomi 🙏🏾❤️❤️❤️
🇬🇧 It’s so nice to hear that I’m not alone. Im an introvert and love being alone, even gets too much with my husband being around me 🤣 love it when he goes away on business, sounds bad doesn’t it. Im quite happy doing my own thing. I have lots of friends but don’t always like going out with them. I have a couple who I vibe with as they are very spiritual like me and that’s what keeps me going my love of spirituality, nature etc and im quite happy watching people like yourself on UA-cam as I feel we have a connection and I feel comfortable. We are who we are. Some people may find us boring creatures but I don’t care 🤷♀️ sending you love and light xxx 😘
starting @12:30 .. wow.. thank you hitomi. i’ve never said it out loud to anyone or admitted to my self really .. i do this so much.. like what? and why?.. even with this video i’m asking myself what is my way of being.. what is natural and full of ease to you?.. are you extroverted or introverted? i feel like i was an extrovert growing up but as i started peeling back the layers.. i became much more introverted and self conscious. i guess a natural oscillation happens.. is it truly self judgement that impedes?.. after this video, a deep meditation calls..
I want to find friends like you and the friends you have! Like-minded souls. It is very difficult to find, even when I do speak myself and boundaries I cant seem to find others that really connect with me :( it makes me isolate even more
Something I’ve realized about my “introverted” way of being is that I prefer deep, intentional interactions w people and if it is not that, I would rather be alone.
THIS. Exactly my feelings, because I am comfortable enough in my own space that I'd rather be alone then spend time that feels draining/ not life-giving. I've been really trying to create those intentional interactions and not have my expectations too high so I can give more people a chance to take root in my life, but there is always a natural flow that happens with the right people and I trust that
This.
Same 🤷🏻♀️💜
📍
Does wanting deep connections make you an introvert? If you gain energy/replenish through these deep meetings with others, then I think that's extroverted.
I did a little ritual during the new moon last night to attract new friends, I realized that the friends I currently have are drifting apart because we are all becoming new versions of ourselves, I've isolated myself ever since my teen years due to my anxiety and insecurities which has now taken a toll on me because now I feel like I'm actually fearful of social interaction, even at work I struggle to form conversations with certain coworkers. I do enjoy my own company, but I also desire to be amongst others whom I can be safe, comfortable and exist as myself 😌
felt that:) from what I read, you seem to be a nice sensitive person to be with, so dont give up and we can be friends if you want to:D
You've explained me perfectlyyyyyy!!!!!! I'm getting more comfortable meeting new people if they share the same passions as I do. That has really, really helped me because we share that common interest.
Im still really picky with who I am friends with and, at this moment in life, I really need friends to support me through what I am going through, but I currently have none lol
If you wish it so shall it be :)
I hope you find what you’re looking for Lilianna 💛
So well put! Thanks for sharing, I identify with this completely. I also feel like it’s more difficult to find new friends as you get older. As if everyone already had their group of friends very settled and they didn’t have the will to engage in new deep friendships.
I used to feel intense social anxiety. At some point, I realized that it wasn’t actually social anxiety, but PERFORMANCE anxiety. Leaning into the authentic self was really helpful with that. Still introverted, less anxious now 😊
I’ve never thought of it this way, thank you for sharing!
love it
I totally relate with that. As I lean more and more into my authenticity and acceptance of myself as I am. I notice that I feel more comfortable being around others, because I can just be myself and I don't have to be like them or judge myself for not being like them. Which in the past used to feel like a performance anxiety!! Thank you for sharing that! 💞
how do you lean into your authenticity? help a fellow introvert
@@livarnold492 keep reminding yourself that just by existing you are so much more than enough. I think social media has conditioned us to look everywhere else for validation. It can only come from deep within. YOU ARE AWESOME. Just you. As-is. All of the other noise in the background is just trying to sell you something.
“Are all of my attempts at being alone the result of being an introvert? Or are there parts of me that still feel unworthy of being seen?” Such a really good question for self-reflection!!!
I think being an introvert or extrovert is really dependent on how your brain processes stimuli in the environment. Introverts tend to have a deeper processing and notice more stimuli which can lead to overstimulation and the wish to avoid overwhelming situations such as social events with a lot of people. In contrast extroverts are actively seeking stimulation as they don’t process the stimuli as intensely and are therefore more outgoing. Our individualistic society promotes the extrovert character instead of the intovert one while it is a bit of a different story in collectivist countries. Either way both personality styles can be considered as evolutionary strategies that are shared by other species, both have their advantages. We should not judge ourselves:) I feel like I was always an introvert and I often got negative feedback but as I am accepting this part of me now, and taking care of my needs, I also feel much more comfortable in social situations.
I can feel that me and some of my friends are slowly drifting apart because we don't have the same vision of life or the same interests. And it's very hard for me, as an introvert, to find new friends.
When I meet new people, I am usually disappointed, as for me there is no connexion, feeling, even though I'm proud of me for taking initiatives. Since there is no feeling, it's usually very hard for me to keep making conversation with the person, so I prefer making them talk about themselves by asking questions, but the problem is that because of that, the person want to keep seeing me and be friend. In the end of the day, I feel more and more alone because there is a lack of deep connexion, a lack of mutual interest. (I have a lot of non mutual or reciprocat relations, since a lot of people that I meet talk a lot about themselves but don't make space for me, it ends up like a monologue).
Maybe one day I will meet someone who watch your videos, if they have the same vision as you of life and relations I'm sure that things will be different!
Know that you are seen. I often find that people claim me as friends and source for safe space but I do not feel that in return. It says a lot about you that people feel safe with you and hopefully that is reciprocated to you soon 🫶🏾
@@anitaasworldd Thank you, I really hope it will reciprocated one day. Even if I'm an introvert and love being alone, I think as every introvert we still need to talk to people and make connexions, but it feels harder than non introvert people ahah
I’m the same way. I feel like most people talk to me so they can hear themselves. Same boat here . I usually end up asking them questions about themselves but they don’t try to get to know me/to see me. Hopefully one day I’ll find the right people and be seen
@@C0smicun1vers3 Yep you're not alone trust me x)
Wow I've found my people. Lol I identify with this so much. Everyone from my friends to complete strangers always want to use me as their "emotional dumpster" to then feel better afterwards & go on their way; but no one is ever there for me or able to hold space for me in any way. It's never reciprocal; always a one way street- a lonely one.
I love what you said about what to do when you're feeling awkward in social situations and what to talk about. I've struggled with social anxiety my whole life and one of the best pieces of advice I ever got was to focus on making the other person feel comfortable and heard. I think a lot of social anxiety/awkwardness comes from being hyperfixated on how we're being perceived by the other person, so in my experience when you put the focus on the other person and pick their brain instead, it takes a lot of pressure off yourself.
It's so funny because after filming this video, I had a day interacting with people I always get So in my head around, and I was able to use my own advice..
It really does get you out of your own attachment to being perceived clearly or highly. In those moments I saw the strong narrative that "I'm bad at this" or "I need to learn to feel safe around more kinds of people, what's wrong with me" but the truth is I think everyone has moments of overwhelm or insecurity to a varying degree around new people. And I think introverts can get more hyper fixated on those narratives than an extroverted person who trusts their ability to break through the initial awk stages of getting to know people. I felt this need to remember I'm not the only one in the world who struggles to break the ice, it was consoling and allowed me to be human, knowing the folks I was connecting with also might have been feeling the same way. I felt insanely more ease. We're all just souls evolving any way
Sorry for the rant hehe
@@HitomiMochizuki222 Don't apologize, rant away lol! That's awesome to hear that you were able to put your own advice into practice. I feel like that in and of itself is a beautiful thing because it can be hard if you're someone like me, whose natural instinct is to hyper fixate on those narratives you mentioned. I think it takes a bit of mindfulness of both yourself and others to recognize those anxious ways of thinking, and then like you said, realize that you're not the only one who struggles with those feelings.
That voice memo gave me chills. To have such positive words spoken in one’s direction has to be exhilarating. Just being a virtual bystander, it made me feel an immediate positive change in my mood.
I had the exact same thing!!❤❤
HOLY SHIT THE 4 MINUTE MARK REALLY SPOKE TO ME!! I only feel like I can show up too when i am "my best self" rather than sharing my authentic self with my friends at all times and seeing if they can accept all of me.
i neededddd this video. Ive been talking about my feelings of "shyness" and inadequacy when sharing space with others with my therapist. I realized that a lot of the reasons i thought i was shy were definitely coming from me feeling insecure and being afraid to take up space. Im now learning that although im not shy, I am introverted. Im selective with my energy and so being around a big crowd or new people that I haven't gotten a chance to assess is nerve-wracking for me. I recently had to communicate a boundary with my best friend and after crying and being anxious about it for days, we spoke and it was so well received. Like you said, its beautiful to show up in all your humaness and still be loved. Thank you for this video Hitomi 💗
This energy/ awareness shift makes my heart SO happy. Look at you showing up differently! And creating more safety for your sacred soul! Your humanness is incredibly worthy of love & I am excited for this truth to continue being reflected in your life
I think just want to be more outgoing for myself , but also I do feel overwhelmed like the though being high Energy all the time , it seems so draining, like having thought to put on a show just makes me nervous lol 😂 and yeah I get in my head alot , I really do overthink
Your content is like medicine for my soul. Anytime I’m feeling lost or unsure of myself your videos are like an anchor 💛
I am beyond grateful to be your anchor Khalilah
this is so wholesome, my heart is bursting ❤❤❤❤
Something I’ve found super helpful is that i planned my social interactions around my cycle. Pre menstruation is when I realise I have overflowing thoughts and I need people to listen, and that actually works pretty well !
“instead of apologizing for your needs…” wow, that hit home
Thank you so much for this video, I judge myself for not being as extraverted as "I should be" but I think that accepting oneself and living authentically is really a great thing.
Your content is healing my soul , your journey and content speaks to me. Thank you so much for spreading love and hapiness ❤
I agree. She’s the best
Woah, introvert vs insecure really just hit me in my heart. I think i've been hiding behind the former, when the reality is the latter. I really only like turning up for my circle when I to look and feel my best.
Thankyou for the realisation :) I hope you feel the love and how much you help people
this was such an eye opener for myself. Although I knew it deep down, I needed to hear from other people to accept that that is exactly what I am doing now. ❤ thank you
Speaking boundaries can feel so much more difficult when overthinking, which is why I appreciate all of the practical examples with the voice memos included. That was really helpful!
You are a mature woman beyond your years !! I congratulate you for being true to yourself. As long as you are at peace with yourself, being alone is a conscious decision you make. You are definitely not anti-social and don't ever let something called loneliness overwhelm you !!!
Being an introvert myself and being someone with social anxiety and who get overwhelmed a lot in those moments plus overwhelmed a lot with sounds lights etc.. I totally get you, letting others know prior what you will do helps a lot, just a few people get kind offended by my way of interacting btw most of them don’t honour my energy either way so they are just lateral flows who just enter and get out of mine! Finding coping mechanisms and boundaries help me a lot. Something that is helping me opening up a lot is going to sister sound circles bringing my drum and chant together as also doing yoga morning and night and go to breathwork and reiki sessions! Thanks as always Hitomi x
Mmm I love this! Yes facilitating that sacred space with friends rather than putting yourself in environments that don't feel conducive to the relating you enjoy. Being" in the practice" together makes this so much easier
I love how you talk about setting boundaries and clarifying what you can offer and you make it sound so easy, because it should be. The hard part is knowing who you are and what you want and need, in a society that doesn't think this is important enough to be taught. We should learn this stuff at a very young age. Then, knowing this, the right people will accept you and negotiate with you according to their own needs and wants
As an introvert who just wants to peacefully, quietly exist around other people - what an amazing video and wonderful tips! I am going to put into action some loving boundary-setting to help get the most out of my precious friendships. Thanks Hitomi! ❤️
Aweee "precious" is the perfect word for the sweet connections that are present and loving!! I adore the integration here for you - to feel even more safe and expanded in togetherness. I genuinely love just being quiet with people so much
Your wisdom makes me feel so seen, you are such a positive, beautiful guiding light. I am 18 and trying to be kinder to myself and I experience so much guilt and anxiety as an queer, femme, introverted human. This content makes me feel hopeful and excited. Thank you so much sharing :)
Thankyou for being so open and honest and for making space for fellow introverts to feel accepted and loved for exactly who they are 💕😊 I resonate with so much of what you just said Hitomi, especially the part about losing your personality when you feel anxious around others. I personally feel like I involuntarily take on the personality/traits/ speech pattens etc. of others when I'm uncomfortable, and I'm still trying to figure out how to navigate that. It feels like even if I try to 'be myself' I honestly cannot even remember how I usually talk and act, then I have a deep sense of guilt for betraying myself and moulding myself into who I imagine somebody else would want me to be.
I am very introverted and I absolutely relate to everything you say. Sometimes I feel crazy because no one around me understands me, and when you said it helps you to call someone who does understand you I realized thats why I love watching your videos. You help me to realize that it’s completely okay to feel the way I feel and I should do what feels the most natural to me instead of shaming myself. It’s how I recharge and feel the most happy and myself, so thank you 🌸☺️
When I was younger I struggled a lot with feeling inadequate, lonely, and like I wasn't really good enough to have people around. I always assumed I was an introvert, but as I've gotten older I've started to realize a lot of my characterization of myself as an introvert came from me not wanting to deal with the shame of feeling like I wasn't good enough. In reality, I feel the most like myself, the most grounded, when I have community around, new people to meet, and a lot of access to other people. It can be difficult to figure out whether something is a security blanket or if it's actually right. But it's difficult to find that sense of community
Hitomi thanks for empowering all of us in our introvert discovery journey! Your channel is truly a safe place, be proud of what you've created bc you're helping so many people
That is exactly the video that I needed! I'm feeling so tired today, emotionally not capable of taking anything, I feel that I just need rest and grounding... Great reminder that it is always good to be authentic, true to yourself, speak your own truth and what feels right to you 🦋
It’s like you put whatever I felt into words. The judgement- when I talk too less or I talk more and over share and be hyper. I was /am not kind to myself at all. Being an INFP feels so hard.
Watching this video while mum and dad are fighting screaming and hitting each other in the next room. You're my escape, truly appreciate you 🧿💗
😢🥺😘😘😘😘💜
I hope you have someone to talk to? Stay safe dear!
❤️
I experience that during my childhood, teenage years and young adult. I know how much it's difficult try to focus on your self and go out for walk or anything when it's happening because sometimes those situations make us forget ourselves. I hope you are ok.
Hitomi, I feel the EXACT same way about going out to dinner!!! I've never had someone express the same feeling and it's so validating; thank you 🧡
Hitomi, your videos are like a healing hug to my soul. Thank you for always being a safe space and kind soul enlightening us constantly with your wisdom ❤❤
Hitomi, thank you for sharing the friend's response to asserting your boundry. As someone who was not raised in a very healthy environment (and is possibly autistic lol), its really useful to be given the vocabulary of what healthily recieving a boundry looks like. "I take on board what you're saying" is about the best I could do prior 😂
Thank you! x
As an introvert, I can totally relate to all of this!! Thank you for the amazing tips on setting healthy boundaries, much needed 🥰🌺🌈
Seeing this level of communication being shared between people makes me hopeful and happy❤
Congrats on 1 mill, and thank you for this video, I have became an introvert due to mental health a couple of years ago, and I’m not really mad about it, but again thank you for this video🥰
Watching you on the internet has helped me connect to parts of myself .. grateful for your presence on here!
Omg ur friends voice message response to ur boundary was so sweet !!!
You're truly impacting 1M people now with your authenticity and love... we're all so grateful. Thank you for cultivating this safe space.
Hitomi! I love the way u articulate yourself
I can relate to being introverted. thank you for always creating videos that speak to our hearts Hitomi 💕
your words just really explained my heart and touched my soul and also gave me so much trust in myself and that all of my feelings are completley valid and welcome…
i am so thankful that there are human beings like you who are so open and authentic, it inspires me not to be my „best“ version of myself, more to be my truest self.
Thank you Hitomi for this beautiful video!
Right now I’m struggling with opening up. I’m too an introvert and a very private one. But for me it is not the feeling that “I’m taking up space” that prevents me from opening up but the feeling that if I let others into my thoughts and dreams, they will poison them. I know it’s weird since I have very good friends who would be supportive of me. But it feels more safe to have something done and then say it to others rather than the opposite
After watching your videos I can feel how inner work starts to happen. Thank you for initialize making me grow!
You’ve always made me feel confortable with my current place in life and I appreciate you for that. Thank you ✨
Thank you so much for this video🥰I know as an introvert it can be hard to find a good balance between isolating and getting in touch with others
So much love for you🥰🙏
I needed to hear this. Your energy has just given me the inner peace that's been missing the past couple of weeks.
Thank you Hitomi - this is the video I needed to see on this calm Saturday morning spent on my own, in my own stillness and not feeling ashamed of it. You are wonderful and every word you spread probably contributes to changing someone's mindset somewhere in the world
Thank you for this video, I really needed tips! I discovered your channel two weeks ago and it has become a place I come when I'm feeling anxious, so thanks for helping me through those times! Keep being light in this world ! kisses from Brazil🇧🇷
I'm an introvert but used to be very introverted when I was younger. I agree it's good to honour that sometimes, but on the other hand, life is meant for growth. We have to do things that make us feel uncomfortable sometimes in order to build up resilience. Exposing ourselves to our fears is what helps us fear them less.
wow! I resonate so much with deciding, am I an introvert or trying not to be seen so my flaws don't show. I didn't finish the video yet but just had to write that down.
Once again, stopping in to listen to you talk is so beneficial. As a fellow introvert, I found your insight in line with my perspective. Thank you, Hitomi, for always being you and sharing your journey.
Thank you so much Hitomi
Thank u so much for this vid, really resonated with me 💖 I teared up when your friend sent you a voice memo back responding to the boundary 🥺 my inner child needed that! I have so much anxiety around setting boundaries (but I am doing it still!) and have received a lot of resistance or it not being honored when I do. I'm going to try to imagine that someone would respond that way when I set my next boundary💓
ahhh your videos truly bring me peace, smiles, and a floaty loving awareness of myself
this video has an absurd timing..I've been isolating for almost three weeks now and recently I started to feel alone, so I reached out to a friend just to clarify my absence and even that was somehow liberating. I reflected on the fact that, as you said, I feel like I don't want to upset my friends by going out with them just because I am not feeling my best self and I like my energy wouldn't probably be valuable to the people I care about. Anyway, thank you as always for letting us introverted feel more understood and for your ever precious insights
I loved this video. Feels good to hear what other people who are introverts do to have healthy and happy relationship with themselves and with others. I especially struggle with making deep connections since I have moved around so much and you seem to manage, so it’s great to hear about your experience. Sending you love !
Loved this video so much. I feel like I come across your videos exactly when I need to hear them so thank you for sharing always xo
Hitomi! I just wanted to say it has been amazing seeing you grow and rediscover who you are and create who you want to be in this world for yourself, your friends, family and us. I have been slowly watching your videos from the very beginning of your UA-cam journey because I was recently so inspired by you and wanted to get to know you and your story. Doing this has helped me have hope in my spiritual and healing journey and I can't thank you enough. You are the friend and sister I always needed and I'm so thankful for your vulnerability and strength to share so much of who you are with us. Your videos brighten my day, and I love being able to get to know your beautiful soul. I wish I could find friends like you who are in tune with themselves, nature and are just trying to grow in this journey we call life. Thank you for being that friend virtually, I love learning from you. Much love from your friend Abril in Texas! God bless you Hitomi
As an introvert I am certainly not shy and I don’t think it is helpful to define and to assume that all introverts are shy. The simplest way to describe an introvert is we recharge by being alone and extroverts recharge by being with other people. I don’t have an issue with being an introvert , we dislike small superficial small talk and prefer smaller groups and deep meaningful conversations. ❤️
My goodness Hitomi. You are just an absolute blessing. I feel like everytime i watch your videos I become calm because i resonate with alot of what you talk about. I feel very similar to you!! Thank you thank you for being you and sharing all of you, the 'darkness' and the lightness. Thats important. Its all beautiful and real and truthful and ahhhh Thanks xoxoxo From Australia
"it is such a precious thing to be loud and to be silent"
Thank you so much! I send so much love and understanding to you Hitomi and all of beings of this world
Hitomi posting this near the Cancer New Moon knowing that we are calling in our soul family
This video hits my sould so deeply. I needed this so much! I've been feeling more and more introvert during the last few years and I keep punishing myself for being in silence and quite in dinners with a lot of people, for example. I see myself in every single word you said, so I just wanted to thank you for this one. THANK YOU!
I've been struggling with this exact thing for awhile. It's been more pressing on my subconscious lately as I am trying to get better of navigating being connected to others and speaking my truth etc. Last night I was blessed with your presence within the astral realm, you helped me with this exact thing.. I felt blessed to be sort of guided by you as friends with unconditional love and gentle understanding. thank you for guiding me in the physical and astral realms. I know we are friends in our angelic bodies. Thank you for being. your soul is a healing gift. With love, Thank you.
Thank you for sharing, I really connect with what you say. Just feeling the same helps and know that I’m not alone. I’m so glad you are here, beautiful soul ❤️
I saw a video recently that said it’s not that introverts don’t like people it’s that they don’t feel safe around them. That resonated.
Your videos and spirit speak to a part of myself I forgot about and shoved down so long ago. ❤️ I have always had a heart full of love and a softness but when I was younger through trauma it no longer felt safe. I’ve spent the past 3 years really reconnecting with that truest most beautiful version of my spirit. I put on armor for so long because I felt like that part of me wasn’t enough. Thank you for being your truest self and reminding me of who I am in the process.🙏🏻❤️
I needed this ❤️ thank you for sharing. Your videos are so comforting. I feel so grateful for you
your words and thoughts gave me hope that I can still make meaningful connections even during a season of healing and growth
this video speaks to me so deeply. Thank you Hitomi, I love you
I appreciate this video, and you, so much. Thank you for always unapologetically being yourself 🧚🏻♀️🤍🤍
Beautiful. Thank you for sharing things I didn’t know how to put into words. This felt like it came from my soul.
you make me feel so heard and seen with your videos &advice 💗
After your video coincidently I had a conversation in the middle of the night with my dad expressing anxiety that he has internalized surrounding me and just a view into what the future holds for our relationship. Your advice has really helped me to communicate and hold space for others. Thank you
I pray that I can find a group of loving and caring people to support me as you have found. I’ve felt so incredibly lonely and isolated lately and have no support to push me out.
I will cherish these tips, they will help me so much ❤ Thank you Hitomi, for sharing all this love ❤
Hi Hitomi, i don’t know if you’ll see this but i’ve been struggling a lot lately and wondered if you could offer any advice?
My partner broke my trust roughly 6 months ago and I still have soul crushing emotions and panic attacks when they refer to new friends they’ve made or when they’re with other people and i’m alone. At first it was out of fear of them acting inappropriately with these other people, but now I think it comes from lack of self love and thinking that others will always be better that me and what I have to offer.
I love being alone but this is something that makes it feel really uncomfortable!
I find myself distracting myself with other people even though it isn’t what I want because these horrible feelings come up when I’m alone!
You're a true inspiration, thank you for all you do.
Hey Maddy, I’m so sorry for the pain your going through, I’m sending prayers of ease and love towards you. I’m no Hitomi but if I can offer one advice, it would to introspect more than you prospect, detach yourself from the thoughts of what your ex partner may be or not be doing and focus more on why you feel how you feel. I.e. find out the origins of your insecurities, sit with the discomfort and aim to understand yourself and come to yourself, if you neglect your feeling because of the discomfort, it will be difficult for you to move forward with a light heart
this videos just feel like thearpy to me, thank you for everything you do :)
Thank you Hitomi for this enlightening video:)) your soul seems so kind. I came across one of your videos about a month ago, and I started watching it but I stopped because I didn't think we believed in the same things and in my mind at that moment I felt like I would deter my own beliefs that I've catered to and nutured for so long. Earlier today, I found myself thinking over my relationships with family and friends, as well as, my social contribution to my college experience (freshman) and how stressful it's all been. I was praying to God about how I really want friends who genuinely know me and can teach me wisdom and vise versa because I've never had that. Then, I came across this video, and I decided that maybe there's a reason. You speak so eloquently about what it feels like to just be a human being in this world, especially one that wants to set boundaries and who is actively determining their worth while also being kind to others and respecting themselves. You spoke straight to my heart when I really needed it. Thank you 🤍
Just wanted to say that i have learned so much about my self worth en self love thru your video's! The way you
how to set boundaries but share them with loved ones is mind breaking. In my country there's no room for feelings, but I'm learning to express them en learn from them since you're learning me that my feelings are valid!
this video was much needed for my heart 🥺
So much of what you say resonates with me!
this is exactly what i needed in this era of my life thanks hitomi :)
i love your energy sooo much
You’re so very well spoken, thank you for making this ✨
The way ur friend responded to you on the phone 🥺🥺🥺 I would die to have friends like that
Wish to have a friend like you. You are blessing, honey 💗
I haven't been on YT for a little while but huge congrats on hitting 1M beauty!
Your vibe is amazing you truly do radiate love
SAME!!! (regarding the extroverted two other siblings/them always having friends over!!!! Yo and I'm the oldest hey 🥺🙈)
Those are really good questions in the beginning of this video. Questions I've recently, strangely enough, been confronted with, as a socially inept 28 year old introvert. But I'm gonna loop this video as much as possible going forward because I know you're the one that's gonna help me become a confident introvert who actually wants to do things and not get burnt out easily just because I'm breathing the same air as two other people (if that makes any sense!🙈). So thanks for blessing us Hitomi 🙏🏾❤️❤️❤️
this was so touching I've cried -but relief it's all that's left. Thank you , Hitomi
Silent subscriber here. Thank you so much for making this video… what you share is so important and helpful. Thank you for showing up as you are.
You are such an inspiration to me. Thank you for touching my soul. I love to see you and listen to everything you have to tell. Love ya ❤️
🇬🇧 It’s so nice to hear that I’m not alone. Im an introvert and love being alone, even gets too much with my husband being around me 🤣 love it when he goes away on business, sounds bad doesn’t it. Im quite happy doing my own thing. I have lots of friends but don’t always like going out with them. I have a couple who I vibe with as they are very spiritual like me and that’s what keeps me going my love of spirituality, nature etc and im quite happy watching people like yourself on UA-cam as I feel we have a connection and I feel comfortable. We are who we are. Some people may find us boring creatures but I don’t care 🤷♀️ sending you love and light xxx 😘
starting @12:30 .. wow.. thank you hitomi. i’ve never said it out loud to anyone or admitted to my self really .. i do this so much.. like what? and why?.. even with this video i’m asking myself what is my way of being.. what is natural and full of ease to you?.. are you extroverted or introverted? i feel like i was an extrovert growing up but as i started peeling back the layers.. i became much more introverted and self conscious. i guess a natural oscillation happens.. is it truly self judgement that impedes?.. after this video, a deep meditation calls..
I want to find friends like you and the friends you have! Like-minded souls. It is very difficult to find, even when I do speak myself and boundaries I cant seem to find others that really connect with me :( it makes me isolate even more
Wow that question in the beginning really opened my eyes! Thank you so much ❤️
sooo much love Hitomi🕊
thank you for this lovely hug, I can't express how much I needed hearing your words today. I love your existence ✨