To my first year self: don’t let go of doing the things you love just for academic success. Don’t give up your good habits because you have to study. Take the time to go for a run, play the violin, read a book just for fun. Giving up on those things will not make you a better student.
Im starting university in September at the age of 22 and I really needed to hear this. I have a lot of hobbies that I want to maintain and one of my biggest fears is having to give that up, especially as someone with mental health problems😅
@@UnJadedJade Thank you you your video, can I please ask you a few questions: how long do your written essays have to be? How many can you get given,per week/term/semester? Do you have to wake up extremely early,such as 6am?
The timing of this video is just perfect. I started uni in fall 2019 and had pretty specific expectations due to how it's depicted in mass media and society. I'm a rather introverted person, which added to the pressure of acting a certain way and be different from the "true me" in order to fit in. I was honestly quite relieved when everything shut down due to covid a few months later. Last week, after over two years of only online classes, my uni went back to in person teaching, which meant I finally had to leave my comfort zone again. At first I was excited, but to be honest, it's not going too well so far. All friends I made in first year except for one have now changed subjects or unis or completely dropped out. Yesterday, after an exhausting week of trying to fight my fears, meet new people and adapt to "normal" uni life again, I just...broke down on the train home. I couldn't stop crying, I couldn't even really breathe because of how insecure and lonely and overall lost I felt and because I knew I still would have to go back on Monday. I was so frustrated and angry with myself for being so different to "everybody else", who all seem to have their lives together, have huge groups of friends and somehow don't struggle at all. Thank you so much for acknowledging that it's okay if uni is not one of the best, but actually one of the hardest parts of your life. Too few people talk about this! Just keep going, and I guess there's a pretty high chance that things will get better eventually - or at least you'll come out of it all stronger. To anyone feeling overwhelmed: you're not alone. ❤
I feel you. Especialy the friend thing was hard. I also started uni în 2019 and went the pandemic came we al had to go home. I already had spent a year home because I strugled alot with my mental health and what I wanted to do. For most of that Time I became pretty lonely as All the people I knew left Town. I almost lost all my friends during that Time. So I was really excited to go to uni, a breath of fresh air, în the begining. Im also introverted and makeing friends dont come natural or eazy, it was harder then I thought it would be honestly. But I tried to push myself spenak to as many people as posibile. When I had to go home it was hard în my mental health, being again alone în my old room. I trind so much to change myself And situation and somehow I eded up where I started. All the friendships I was beinging to make were lost for the most part. Since then we came back to uni I feel Im surounded by acquaintances and stragers But no friends. Everyone esle seemd to adapt reayl well and have big groups of friends. I feel so lony and out of place în this city. I honestly dont know what to do Sorry for the rant but it did made me feel a little bit better wrting about it. I dont have anyone în real life that Im condortabpe talking about it
I resonate with your experience so much. I started university in 2020 and had one semester in person - I initially had a great time, I got into a relationship and was having so much fun - university seemed to be everything I had dreamed of. Then lockdown happened and semester two was completely online - I also went through a break up during that time. I struggled so much with loneliness and fear of covid. When the lockdown ended, I wasn't relieved - instead, I found that my social anxiety was worse and I was so scared of covid that I didn't really leave the house, even when there were no restrictions. University is in-person again this year and it was really hard to push myself to go out again, especially since after my breakup I actually had no friends at university. I had all these expectations/dreams that I would make new friends and have this "perfect" uni life - but I'm halfway through the semester and I am still struggling with intense anxiety and loneliness - I haven't found "my people" and I'm constantly stressed with the workload. University can be a very anonymous and unforgiving place and it really hasn't fulfilled the narrative that the media puts out. Thank you for sharing your experience and it's nice to know that we aren't alone in this.
Wow, it means so much that so many of you can relate. It's very reassuring to know that my feelings are not so uncommon after all. Thank you all for sharing, I'm sure we can do it!
@@andreeab2948 I relate so much to this : for the first time I forced myself to speak to a lot of people but it didn't really work cause I wasn't myself, it wasn't a genuine spontaneous desire to connect, I was just doing this to be able to say I have friends cause that's what "normal" and what psychologists say matters a lot in happiness. I just wasn't myself and I hated it. I'm pretty sure people noticed it and that's why I made almost no friends and the ones I made were kinda incompatible with me so I dodged them. I was constantly introspecting myself, judging myself before, during and after interactions. For a few weeks/months now I have cared and tried to care less and less to control how I behave, to be myself, not force myself to talk to some people or say some things, like I stopped asking everybody what hobbies they had etc. I was afraid I would have nothing to say, like blank. But it's not true. When I let myself be free, say what comes to my mind, have no expectations and don't judge myself, I do have things to say, I spend a good time and I think the people I interact with spend a good time too. I think those are some of the keys : not forcing yourself to do anything and not judging yourself for being a certain way or saying certain things, and being confident that if you don't try to control how you act things will turn out great. Maybe also realize that things aren't as serious as we think they are. Since I'm in this mindset I made what I consider to be a true friend, I spontaneously talk to more people and I'm happier. Anyway that's it for me :)
The piece of advice I would give to my younger self, would be to not try so hard to be like everyone else and to focus on you :) you feel more empowered and successful just doing what you feel is right and makes you happy rather than seeking it from other people
I think its important not to define or expect a single time in your life to be the “happiest.” Your life will have ups and downs and thats okay. I particularly think we as younger people need to remember that age doesnt subtract from happiness- there is no timeline on being happy or finding “the best time”
I’ve never related to something more in my life!!! We went to college thinking it was going to be the best years of our lives but having a realistic expectation of the experience and truly understanding the fact that you’re going to evolve and grow as a person helps you navigate life during this time. Ugh I wish I had this video 4 years ago so helpful Jade 💜
my advice is don't rush anything. when i was in high school i was constantly thinking about how my life is gonna be great when i start uni (and in a lot of ways it is), but as soon as i started uni, literally 2 weeks in, i was like what's next? stop rushing to the next thing and enjoy where you are now. and even if it's hard, it's the greatest period of growth trust me and it will get better :)) i feel like this comment is all over the place sorry lmao
My life at uni just means studying. I don't have friends. I have no reason to have nights out. I have no one to go to parties with. All I do is study and spend time with family. High school was way better. I've never heard anyone say that their experience is like this so in case anyone else is experiencing the same thing, here is your sign that you're not the only one. But keep going, it's only a few years out of your hopefully long life. Everything that comes after will definitely be better.
it´s the same for me, but it feels horrible to wait for six years (thats how many years med school in germany is) until life hopefully feels better and easier. idk, i know i`m investing in my future but it feels like i´m wasting my time being unhappy
I would tell myself to prioritise having a social life. I used to put so much effort into academics but would get burnt out and end up with bad mental health so quickly (which then caused bad grades) because I didn't have the social life to balance things out. it's good to have fun with friends and connect with people, it really turns the experience around.
my issue is I would go to an extreme to the other, like only studying one semester and only drinking in bars the other one because "what's the point of trying if I don't have good grades?" so yeah, balance is key (hopefully it works out better for any new student in the comments)
I'd say to myself that even though many people around me are doing things last minute and pulling all nighters, drinking caffeine or not eating well - that should not be the norm of what a "student" is. You should keep exploring yourself and how you work best, and honour that. Manage your time well and take care of yourself, study smarter, not longer.
I always felt like others knew how to study through time while I was doing all nighters (didn't work out well for me in the long term), need help with management
My advice to my younger self before going to college would be to care less about how you will be perceived by others and put more thought into what will make you happiest. There are so many sources of external pressure, like pleasing parents and impressing peers, that have shaped so many of the decisions I've made in college. But I wish they hadn't. As hard as it can be to tune out that noise, it is so necessary for learning what will make you truly happy. Lean into being uncomfortable and take the time to learn who you are without the opinions of others swaying your perception of yourself.
Advice to my younger self would be that joining societies is great, but to properly make friends you also need to build on those relationships outside of the pre-organised activities. That does make it an extra time commitment thing and balancing all that can be hard (I am a serial over-committer) but I've learnt that for me friends are more important than academic or extra-curricular commitments.
to my younger self: uni is not a competition that you need to rush until you win it. it’s always about the process. and please don’t get stuck into this nerdy stereotype! xoxo
Im so stressed, i took a few months off since my mental health was drowning...my friends are gonna graduate this may but I will be graduating in November. I'm a private candidate and have lost my friends since I don't go to school anymore. I often feel like I'm far behind in my life although it's just a gap of few months. Idk what to do I'm sorry for the rant, felt the need to get this out my head
@@thewaffle2570 don’t worry, bro! it’s really nice that you took these gap months to invest in yourself, it’s something I’ve often thought about doing as well though. College has taught me that each experience is unique. For example, during college years, our classmates majors often diverge in so many ways. And after college each of us will pick a different path. And still, we have time for new choices. Good luck in your journey!
Jade, this content is outstanding, empowering and impactful. It's the honesty and truth society needs to hear more about. If I was to give myself advice to a younger version of myself, it would be to not bend to peer pressure. The depiction of what is a typical university student needs to change as so many people are made to feel uncomfortable just for not fitting into that bracket. Thank you for being so open 💙
This video touched me so deeply and showed up just as I needed it. I'm in my second year studying as a Bulgarian student in the Netherlands during Covid. Spent my first year at home online, came to the Netherlands for the second year and couldn't find accommodation and I feel like I am just now - a year and a half in - trying to get used to the new country. It's just a lot sometimes but I'm grateful for everything that has happened to me because it taught me and keeps teaching me so much. My piece of advice to myself 2 years ago would be: "Take it one day at a time and try to not think about the future too much. Yes, we have to make plans and make sure that we are on the right track but this can backfire as it brings way too much stress sometimes. Enjoy every day because all of them are different and you will never get to be right here right now again and try to live for the moment a little more."
I would tell my younger self to never seek friendships or romantic relationships out of loneliness. Seems obvious but uni is such a lonely place when you start and know anyone that it took me two years to realise i had surrounded myself with people that didn't appreciate me, just because i felt terribly alone. Don't be scared of solitude and embrace it, there you'll find your way to truthful people. I am an introvert so that's specially hard but, sometimes it just takes a kind word and a little bit of determination to make new friends (: also Don't EVER compare your grades with anyone else's (even your high school self). And good luck
My advice to my younger self is to pick a path based on what is true to you and will make you happy instead of picking a path/university that looks impressive to other people.
What would you advise if I like many fields of study? I really am afraid of being stuck in one job and I can’t switch to another one. I’m in my 3rd year of uni
What I wish I knew before university: pick a school in a place/city you want to live in and that has programs that you are interested in studying. It sounds obvious but I just followed the crowd of where most people were going instead of looking into schools in different parts of the country that may have been smaller/less well known. Also, it's okay if you don't know exactly what you want to do, choose something to study that interests you and go for it, even if you don't know exactly where it will take you. Just keep following the things that light you up!
I would tell my younger self that it's okay if you don't have the stereotypical college experience. That there is nothing wrong with you and it may look like the people around you are living their best lives (sometimes), but there is so much pressure to look or be perceived a certain way in college. Of course nobody wants to look like the "lonely person with no friends" and to be honest, that was kind of me my whole time at Uni. I graduate this year and can say those "friends" I had are no longer in my life. It's hard because I guess I wanted to find my people and make those lifelong, lasting genuine friendships, and I didn't. But it's okay. I'll be okay. There is much more to life honestly (not saying that a sense of belongingness isn't important and that you shouldn't want that - it's only natural we do). But the best thing we can do is cultivate that relationship with ourselves because that seriously impacts our connections with others. Also, I wish I had spent way more time focusing on building the life I desired (my goals, aspirations, dreams) instead of obsessing about my social life. I'm still choosing to be proud of myself, to love myself unconditionally. I can't go back in time and change things, but I can move forward with these lessons. All of this stuff shaped me into who I am today. For that I will be greatful for eternally.
Learning to be kind to yourself, and recognising that everyone’s uni experience will inevitably be different to yours. There is no right or wrong way to be a student, follow what makes you happy and most at home in your environment. It’s for such a short time, and to punish yourself for not having a conventional or stereotypical uni experience is such a waste of precious time.
The piece of advice I would give to my younger self would be “no rush, you don’t need to prove anything to the people around you. Prioritize your mental health ❤️”
I’d tell first year me… Focus on yourself first and don’t waste your time chasing after people because at the end of the day everyone has their best interest in mind and so should you. That doesn’t mean you can’t be there for others but rather don’t over extend yourself and make sure you’re meeting your needs first. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
university is the best time of your life in the same way 'school is the best time of your life ' - only for sociable, outgoing people who make friends easily and everyone likes. if your an introverted anti social, anxious shy weirdo like me, its the worst time of your life and the time where you will feel worse about yourself and unlikeable and insecure. The only part I like is the learning, the people are awful.
From a young muslim gurl, moving from a country in Africa to Europe for study at the age of 17, id tell myself im so proud of you and I don’t know how you did it and why you did it, and the the fact that’s you’re still going in this journey it’s shows how strong you’re, and i know you can handle whatever will come your way, it’s been a whole different journey that’s you weren’t aware of its challenges but if i had the opportunity I’ll do it over again cuz it’s shaped a whole different personality of mine, and im so grateful for all the people I’ve meet who’ve impacted my life tremendously
As weird as it sounds, my piece of advice would be that you can be surrounded by people and still feel alone. Seek those people who you find the deepest connections with, realise they are few and have fun with them
Honestly, based on what I've heard from you about the workload Minerva places on students, I personally don't think it's necessary or acceptable. Other than perhaps Oxbridge (which then provides you with an incredibly reputable degree), I have never heard of a University expecting so much of its students. It really seems to be crippling for the mental health of students and I don't see why a University should be allowed to get away with that. It's almost as though they've adopted it as one of the traits of the uni, but I don't see how that is a positive thing.
Jade, words can’t express how how grateful I am for this video and how much I can relate to everything you said, so thank you, from the bottom of my heart. 💙💙 I’ve almost finished first year at university and I can say that it definitely hasn’t been the best year of my life, in fact it’s been one of the unhappiest years I’ve had. I’m extremely introverted at university and don’t fit into any of the expectations at all like going clubbing, drinking, being confident and meeting soo many people. I’ve also felt the loneliest I’ve ever felt and found it really difficult to make friends and moving away from home for the first time. I’ve been really unlucky with my flat mates this year so that hasn’t been great but I’m holding onto a bit of hope that next year will be better!! Although I am starting to enjoy it more, it’s only enough for me to keep persevering and I by no means love it. X
Hi Rosie, I can very much relate to some of your struggles.. you're not in this alone! What I realised during this year - that there has been always a loving family behind with which you can do check-ins as much as you need (I hope it is the same for you), just as good old friends. Also, what I can recommend is 1) sticking to daily casual magic just like Jade 2) enjoy your personal space as much as possible with the activities you love 3) try to grow as a person by watching similar "shared terapy" videos or videos of life philosophies or of other people who live a solo life - that might help empower you and feel again you're not there alone!
@@matyashansel438 hey, thank you very much for the lovely reply. I’m so glad there are a lot of other people who have felt the same way as me. I will try some of those things especially looking for daily casual magic x
I would love love love to hear you talk about how to draw healthy boundaries with your classmates. Unfortunately, my studying environment isn't very friendly and my classmates are competitive. However, whenever I help someone I find them demanding too much from me, and I often struggle to know when should I help and when should I not. Being in that environment makes me feel like I can't be myself comfortably and it's suffocating.
Anyone thinking of getting into uni plz do your research. Get in touch with people with the uni u are interested in...to get to know the space and the course u are getting into. The university you choose should be a place where its the extension of your 'heart'. Does the education system they teach fulfill you...help you learn as an individual? The students and people there do they inspire you to be a better person? I feel we take university for granted...that its just a paper we end up receiving that will help as get a job and begin our career. But uni should be a space that gives you the freedom to discover yourself through your studies. You can do incredible things and create such an impact from the beginning of uni! I'd say choose to study sth you are truly passionate about...however difficult it is because if you are determined you'll be successful in your own personal way. Don't make the mistake of choosing sth just to find a job. Uni should be chosen in the sense of exploration and extension of self. Or else if you are a healthy human you can do any job...seriously. Whoever reaches this end I hope the best for you and I know you are doing great. I believe in you! Look at this...I managed to ramble a snowball of thoughts! Take care!
I needed this right now, the choices i have had to make as a future university student have gotten me to question my whole existence... Take care of yourself too!!
@@amelia4570 I think this is a valid question. Based on my own experiences and thoughts, of course it is easier if you know someone who is in the uni studying or has graduated, where you can get in touch with and give you an idea what it is like studing at the uni you are interested in. Other than that, since we are living in the age of social media, there are many universities that upload stories on Instagram and you can also get a feeling of the people there, the work they do (also by checking the uni's website). Also, attending Open Days, is a great opportunity to talk to teachers and students and ask them as many questions as possible for you to get an understanding of where you will be studying, the courses, facilities etc. Also, if you can find the emails of teachers or current uni students, you can email them and also ask them about what is the experience of studying at the X uni, the excitement, uniqueness (of uni) and the challenges. The thing you need to understand though is that however much information you gather about the uni you are interested in (and the reseatch is important!), by the end of the day a choice will be made and a risk will need to be taken. But I find that joy and challenge are hidden within that risk. The only way forward then is to have faith in yourself and to a higher power. - "everything is going to be alright"! - Bob Marley. (this human keeps me grounded and hopeful!) I hope all the best for your future and I wish you follow the path that makes you the most happy, peaceful and the one that is according to your own personal values and beliefs. Take care!
I'm a first-year college student. I wish I focused more on finding my people and having deep and powerful conversations with those individuals. I spent a hefty part of my first semester feeling incredibly lonely. Likely because I was just having a bunch of surface-level conversations instead of getting to know people.
Advice: be kind to yourself during the experience, and university should not become your identity even though it is your way to prove to yourself you are capable of becoming anything you want
The advice I would give my younger self before going to university is: Be more patient and easy on yourself and don’t rush anything and trust the process and follow your heart’s desire no matter what anyone else tell you!👍🏻
Why did we forget how bad better help was in the fact they dont check the peoples qualifications on there. Like someone might be paying for someone that hasn't learnt to properly helped them
I'm extremely grateful that you made this video!I've moved to another city to start uni effectively in September 2021 because covid messed up my plans for my first year.Besides everything, I've always had to fight a huge peer pressure and the fear that if I didn't fullfil the classic uni student stereotype, then there was something I was missing out.Getting used to live in a city, doing everything alone, learning how to live with strangers and meeting new people has been exhausting, but nobody ever talked about this.I made a couple of "friends" , but for various reasons I don't see them as much as I expected, I just feel that we are not on the same wavelength anymore and it feels lonely sometimes.Thank you for sharing your experience and harsh times at uni!Many students went/are going through the same situations and it's a huge relief to know that you're not the only one struggling.
I am currently in my second semester, but it is actually my 4th if I count the two corona semesters in my former degree. I quitted because of a number of reasons. Not only that, but I've been hesitating for a long time to quit because of that I had/ I wanted to find something new really fast. And I would tell my younger self (3 years ago. Because back than the whole misery started) to listen more to what you want and fu..k the opinion of others or what others expect you to do. And for f..k sake inform yourself what you are applying for. Try as much as possible. New Sports, traveling, internships in business that you are interested in. And finally. Believe in yourself. Have trust in you and your skills. And don't doubt your whole existence if something gets in your way. And that's what I would tell everybody who will be going to uni soon. Believe in yourself and try as much as possible. You won't have such easy access to a variety of things after you graduated.
I am graduating this june and my younger self could have really used this video. My advice would be that, since this is a very complex moment in our lives with identity crises, investing into our careers, creating -hopefully- life long friendships, it is very much so okay that sometimes one of these may take a backseat. Sometimes you may focus more on academics, sometimes into your own development journey or whatever. It will all fall into place. When we micro analyse our life in tiny fragments, it may seem more unbalanced than it actually is. Love this channel and the community you created Jade💛
So yeah uni hasn't quite gone the way I expected it go, it has been more demanding and more stressful than expected but I have also learned things. Some things I've learned are: Getting things done and learning is more important than grades, you don't need to party all the time and that stressing about things is not going to change the outcome. Uni is something that I have very much enjoyed but if I was able to do it again I would probably do a lot of things differently but then I can't do that because some of those things were learnt by doing a degree and everything thing that comes with it. Thank you for making this video, I do like reflection stuff and I need to do some of that myself. :-)
university was not the best time of my life. i was pretty lonely, stressed, depressed and came out of uni with -7€ in my bank account. i'm also an introvert so partying was not me either. i mostly did uni work and that was it. it was nice to learn something new and make a few new friends and meet interesting people. but still.... i've been out of uni for 3 years now and life has gotten better and better. so if you're in university and don't feel like you're living your best life, that's normal and life can definitely get better 😌
Jade🥺 I’ve grown up watching your videos and have always been on a similar timeline to you (gap year, starting uni, etc…) and this video couldn’t have come at a better time for me. I’m struggling SO hard with uni right now. - changing my major to something “easier” and feeling like I’ve failed - feeling like I wasted time taking two gap years, and like I’m behind all my 18 year old peers - going from a small school in a tiny town to a massive university, and coming to terms with no longer being top of my class - not having found “my people” at all Literally just everything you talked about in this video. I always romanticise other people’s uni experience (even seeing yours on social media), so hearing this from you is such a comfort❤️
Thank you so much for this video. Hearing you talk about it and reading the comments gave me some peace. I’m struggling with the same things (doing my full bachelor abroad) and it’s been lonely and very hard. Only in my first year so praying things will get better soon, although it’s gotten considerably better already
I started my university journey recently but most of the days after lectures I was riding a Rollercoaster inside my head to figureout my fantasy from reality (also what my lecturer said🥸) THIS VIDEO WAS NEEDED🌞❤ p.s. I really hated it when aduls say I am worrying unnecessarily about things that they saw as least considerable. But I now think they don't feel intimidated by such things because they've already dealt with those things so it seems normal but for us they're whole new experiences. So I love to learn from life.
Absolutely agree with the title :D My best years started after I graduated formal education and found the job I love) I tried 5 jobs while I was studying, and found the loved one on my 6th try)
This is an incredibly honest video and I think that many uni students will relate. Thank you for letting us know that we aren’t alone in these complex emotions and times in our lives Lots of love from Canada💚
As an adult with her first nursing degree in her 20s and now doing my second degree in astrophysics while working as a nurse at 40 years old, uni is hard but it is the best time of our life :)
Im in my first year now and I relate to everything u said. Its different when someone can put your struggles into words. You should definitely start a podcast. This was genuinely such a helpful video. I always think of how I have so many "friends" or acquaintances but no real close friends that see me for me. Hopefully next year will get better.
I used to think that I must be a weird because I always feel lonely in uni. My parents and other people constantly tell me that how nice the uni life is but I don’t have the feeling … I worried about my gpa, lots of exams and my future. I’m not like those lucky people who found close friends they can totally rely on and communicate with in uni. When I was sad, the only thing I can do is just watching a movie and calling my parents or old friends. Thanks for telling me I’m not the only person who suffered this problem and it’s normal that uni life doesn’t seem to be perfect.❤️❤️❤️❤️:)
I loved the video! Hit close to home. Advice to my younger self: Accept that whatever expectations you have, they are likely to be wrong. “Reality can never match our expectations, because it’s easy to imagine perfection, and very difficult to achieve it.” I had so many false expectations about university. I was so excited at the prospect at being able to pick what I was going to learn in an academic setting for the first time in my life. I was so curious about the subject matter and I expected everyone else to feel the same. I imagined me and my future peers sitting together and having discussions about psychology. I was so wrong. A lot of my peers were just in the degree because they didn't get it to another degree. There is almost an unspoken rule that you don't talk about anything related to psychology outside of university. So I am in a degree I am curious about but surrounded by people who in my opinion treat it like secondary school (there's nothing wrong with that it's just not what I expected).
For me the most challenging aspect was the workload. I just finished my law degree (in austria) and i can say that i studied everyday straight for three years (except for some time in summer). And sitting in front of a book just studying for months straight, then working when you are not studying, is so draining. Also the pressure of exams sitting in the back of your neck at all times.
To my first year self: Find your people as you said in the video, because as freshments in uni, we do not realize what a great impact it has in our whole university experience and learn to give yourself a break from the heavy workload of essas and presentations.
I think life in general is just hard. Not to say there aren't wonderful experiences in it, but it's a struggle to keep yourself alive and well and doing all the things you want to do.
This video came in perfect time. I've just started university and I'm struggling a lot. It's only been a month since I've started, and I've already rethought every aspect of my life like a million times. I honestly have no idea what I'm doing and I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one that feels this way. If I could talk to my younger self I would tell her "Take it easy, don't take it so seriously, it is going to be hard, but it's not the end of the world, you can change your mind, you can cry, and that's ok. You're not going to love it all, actually, you're going to hate most of it, especially at the beginning." Thank you Jade for this video❤️ Ps: I'm from Argentina and I can assure you're going to love it here! Whish you all the best.
The part about the homesickness and not fitting in right away is so real. I hated university my first semester and i really didn't find my friends or develop real relationships with the people I already knew until 1.5 years in. And that was with trying, really really hard. I went to so many new club meetings and would try to talk to new people everywhere, but I always felt like i wasn't in the right place or with the right people. I never understood how some people made friends so quickly in the first few weeks and i spent so many nights just by myself in my dorm room watching youtube and wishing i was at home with my parents. At my uni, people would also go home a lot on the weekends so the campus would be desolate and soo lonely on saturdays and sundays even though i was in a major city. And yes, i didn't know how to take the metro right away either haha. But my last year of uni was truly one of the best of my life until covid hit. I had friends and would go out and do things all the time with people i loved spending time with. It just took a really long time and a lot of personal growth to get there. So if you're in that situation now, don't give up! I wanted to transfer uni so bad in the beginning, but im really glad i stayed, changed my major, and learned a lot about the world!
To my younger self: don't come to college with high expectations. enjoy being yourself and doing what gives you joy and peacefulness. stop thinking about what others are doing because that doesn't matter, it doesn't affect you or your experience.
My advice to past myself: at uni you will meet so many people so take it easier, don't let yourself form deep attachments with people you are not sure about. University time taught me to communicate with different people, talk to them on various topics but make necessary borders between us. Now I think carefully before I let someone go in my personal life and influence my emotional condition - that makes it much easier to control your life and reach settled goals without disappointments and emotional breakdowns.
For me, university (more specifically a bachelors degree) is actually not hard at all, if you show up to all your lectures and put in decent effort, it's a guaranteed good grade in a way that just was not possible at A level, and I studied bio and chem for A level and am doing a biology degree with computer science. Minerva I noticed is a far more rigorous university than any British university.
I'll never forget the crushing realisation at A level that my best wasn't good enough :/ so glad that uni is easier because I wouldn't be able to handle that level of academic rigour again 😬
What I wish I new is that learning about yourself requires a lot of unlearning and it uncomfortable and scary but so so so rewarding as well. It is okay to start over and retry as much as you need to. 🌻
Thank you....i really appreciate this as i need it the most at this time ❤❤❤❤ i relate to lot of things you say jade.. yah we should stop sterotyping univ
Adults give that advice (I'm 37 and do it now oops) because a) we've forgotten we hated it b) adulting sucks c) you have choices and we feel like we don't have them anymore. Nothing happens once you have a job/career in your 30s. If you're female and childless, your female friends are mostly all married and have kids and it's hard to relate. It gets lonely. You don't get the joy of even working hard for a good grade or working with people you like. You just work and you get money and it all goes on boring stuff like housing. Or tiny things to make life bearable. One day you'll understand.
Hey Jade, here's a message for u: ✨ I recently read ur book and let me tell u- Thank you so much! For having written this book, and publishing it. For giving me the advice, motivation and guidance I needed. I'm not a fan of self-help books, but I've always loved ur videos so I decided to give this book a go. Right from the first page, I knew my decision had been right. 😄 The way u have written the book, it's like u are talking to a friend, and I could imagine u speaking those words to me! The book felt like a warm hug and a reassurance that I can succeed at my studies. And those chapters on fear of failure, dealing with results, mental health...I read these chapters at a time when I really needed it. "You will succeed, you will be loved and you will have a future, a good one." I can't emphasize how much those words meant to me, Jade. Thank you SO MUCH for this! ❤ Lots of love, ~♡ PS: I started using blurting while revising for my upcoming exams, and active recall makes ALL the difference! 🙌
I'm graduating highschool in literally 2 months or so and I always though that uni/college is full of fun,partying,happiness etc but I was so wrong..tysm Jade for this vid💜💖
Post grad advice I’d give to my undergrad self: Don’t put pressure of unnatural friendships, your real best friends will come righttt at the end of your final year, but they’ll be the ones to stick around
This is a really important video and I felt every word you said... I'm struggling with these things right now and I know how much it can be hard. I don't know what advice I would give to my younger self because I started university just the last year and I'm still trying to find my way to be happy facing it, but probably now I would have told her this: "You will fight with a lot of hard stuff making this choice having high expectations, so try your best to find your peace and sense in this word before starting this chapter: university will not give you this, you must feel good about yourself not just with your ideal future cause there isn't a real finish line. Don't search it in uni, life hasn't real one final goal, there is not a sence. Don't try always to find it, just... Live it". The hard part is learning to love living without a really existing sence... I'm still trying, hoping one day it will get better. For now, wish everyone who's struggling with similar situations the best. PS: sorry for my bad english, I'm italian
The biggest piece of advice I wish I had been told and reminded of in my final years at high school is that you DO NOT have to go to university straight after high school and that though it can be difficult to feel like you fit in to the university culture later in life, you will likely get far more out of your studies by putting university on hold for even a couple of years, try new things, get a job, understand what subjects truly move you and then begin your university journey. I left high school at 16 with zero expectations of going to university, I thought it was purely for academic types. Im now 24 in 3rd year and studying Animation, VFX, digital design all this fun stuff. Long story short, university can wait and it also isnt everything. learning is lifelong, it doesnt stop at 18.
Everything you said, I related to 🥺 Noone talks about the hardships you face in university Thanks jade ☺️(literally holding back my tears )🥺 ✨ it's beeeen hard So hard But I'm gonna keep going 🌻 To the person reading this 🌻you are gonna be ok, don't stop moving 🙂 🦋
If you are a girl going into typically male field find yourself girlfriends outside of uni. Guys dont usually like to deep of the talks and you need someone to talk to about periods and stuff ;)
100% agree with all those expectations you mentioned, Jade. I dropped out of first-year maths a month ago and do not regret it in the slightest. Sure, it might’ve set me back compared to all my friends who are at uni, gaining a degree they want, but I hated my course and struggled far too much with the content that all my effort just didn’t seem worth it. I was working crazy hours to keep up with all the work being set and to spend 6 months and end up not enjoying or understanding anything was really tough. There was very little support for the 10/250 of us who didn’t take further maths A-level despite the uni saying they would provide it. It was clear it makes such a difference to people’s learning, when all the teachers I’ve encountered said it doesn’t. I come from a working-class background and was astonished at the amount of middle/upper-class students at my uni. I was used to most people at home being from a similar background to me but at uni, it was vastly different. I felt extremely judged, and some of my flatmates thought I was odd as I worked so much and struggled severely with speaking in groups. I’m an introvert, and didn’t go clubbing once as I don’t drink, nor did I want to. I missed my friends from home who I had things in common with and everyone formed their friendship groups and sorted out houses so quickly that I just felt so alone. I’m very glad I took the step to drop out because I never cried as frequently as I did at uni. Since being home, I’ve applied for jobs and feel much more optimistic about my future. To anyone reading or relating to anything Jade has said in this video, please ignore the stigma surrounding dropping out of uni. If it’s what’s best for you mentally, do it. My mental health has improved dramatically since getting out of that environment. Here’s a truly wonderful quote that encapsulates how I feel about my situation: “Your future hasn't been written yet, no one's has. Your future is whatever you make it, so make it a good one.”
To my younger self: the work is not be all and end all. Your physical and mental health matter so much more than lectures and readings about a topic that simply stresses you out. Even if you fail the unit it’s not the end of the world, it’s all a learning curve for finding balance
Tw / sa College (university for people not from the US) was such a mixed period in my life. I met some of my best friends. I learned so much about myself and the world, not just my career. But I also had a literal mental breakdown spring of freshman year. My mental health was the worst it had literally ever been. I engaged in a lot of self-destructive behaviors and my relationship with food was terrible. I experienced SA for the first time and had to deal with and heal from that. I'm so glad I did it but I'm also so glad it's over.
I've started Uni in September, physics and my expectations were so high, but for some reason my self esteem and confidence disappeared the moment lectures started. In a way I believe that the fear of not being good enough, actually made me not good enough, I started procrastinating the work, which is a lot (and I don't know about other subjects, but here if you miss one class and don't hurry to catch up, you won't understand a thing for the rest of the semester basically), because of the fear of not being able to get it done. I know that I have all the qualities to thrive, but I'm not and that's draining, still trying to get out of the loophole.
Jade you just exposed all the tea. You college experience will depend on what you study and the work load that comes with it. The advice I would tell myself would be to study something that will be happiness and rather than money. Picked engineering to study in uni.
Thank you so much I'm in my first year at uni and this was exactly what I needed! I was feeling lonely, not feeling like I belonged, struggling with academics and this was just reassuring to watch knowing that I'm not alone :)
such a great video 😩 so relatable in so many aspects! uni definitely isn't the ideal picture-perfect haven most people say it is and so trying to manage those expectations together with the workload is so difficult. but i think knowing that almost all uni students go through this at some point of their university journey somewhat makes this whole process feel less lonelier :) but a piece of advice i would definitely give to my younger self/those who have yet to step foot into uni is to just not have any expectations and be open to trying out things and finding out who you are. i think getting into uni just right out of high school can be daunting, but i think that's where uni sort of comes as a blessing in disguise. i also think, especially when choosing a degree/course, to always do research, and if possible, seek advice from seniors so that navigating through uni will be less confusing and frustrating. yup! this video spoke to me on so many levels omg, thank you for sharing your pov!
My biggest piece of advice would be that you in no way HAVE to do every module your course plan says to do in the semester you’re in. I’ve learned this the hard way after overscheduling and then completely breaking down by the deadlines. There’s really no shame in postponing an essay or an exam 🌞
I would tell my college freshman self: "Just because there is a multitude of new things to try and do, you don't have to do everything and it's ok to not pick up that new extracurricular activity to preserve your peace/sanity."
I only started uni last September but have changed so much since then. I find myself regretting having my walls up and not connecting more with my current friends, family and new people. Now I am more confident and have a better sense of who I am. But now I have no one to call when things get hard and no-one to enjoy experiences with. I'm just trusting that I will find these connections without forcing superficial ones. However embarrassed or burdensome you feel of who you, connect speak up, if you are rejected it is better to have tried.
Thank you for making this, when I searched “how to overcome the fear of failing” I watched your video and now this one and have made me feel better even though I still feel somewhat bad but it was nice to hear, and what piece of advice would I give to my past self before univ, well…it’s going to be hard, because after failing classes, having social issues, having back surgery and to top it all off having one of my closest friends pass away I would have to say my mind has been through so much and it’s hard for me to believe that it could get any worse other than me failing out of college which is a real possibility at this time but I try not to worry about it too much because I know things will work there way but anyway. Thank you for putting your words out it means a lot. 👍
Thank you so much for this video. I really needed to hear that. I started university during the pandemic, moved away, no friends, classes just online, no really possibility to connect with new people. I have been so hard on myself why I don't enjoy it, why nothing is how I imagined it. What you said kind of kicked home. I just started crying bc I was the only person dealing with this in my old friend group and that made it even worse. Hearing that words from someone else is somehow very relieving. We're all going thorough it. Stay strong!
This resonated with me on such a level I can't even describe! Thank you! And to whoever is reading this, my advice before you may start Uni: Don't feel rushed by anyone or society that you have to start Uni at a certain point. I wish I hadn't started Uni when I did and now I am just pushing myself towards the end and I wish I had taken time before Uni to get more experience and learn about myself. You don't need to know what you want to be for the rest of your life at the age of 18-25.
From someone in their mid 40s who enjoyed uni and still has good friends from that time - life gets SO MUCH BETTER afterwards!! You know yourself, you set better boundaries, you care MUCH less about what other people think. And you do not have to share a bedroom (unless you choose!) - seriously, what is that with making adults share a sleeping space?!
I relate so much to the different parts of the video. It's a relief to know I'm not the only one to feel and live what you depicted (+ the comments too)! I think everyone knows and experiences what you described (loneliness, expectations about partying, finding your people, academics, etc.) but just never speaks out loud about it: it's almost like it's a taboo in some ways. Thank you Jade for making us (uni students) heard and seen :) Wishing you the best for the end of your semester
Wait wait, you make a video with almost an identical title like Ruby‘s video (and very similar content) and not even mention her? Even if yours wasn’t (fully) inspired by hers that’s kinda weird… agree though
Dear Jade, Thank you for always being so honest and transparent about how you feel, and the things going on in the background of your life. As 17 year old, I always watch videos like these to get a sneak peek into what the next chapter of my life could entail and I always have many hypothesises as to what it is like being a University student. Though I am not a university student, many of the ideas throughout you videos resonated with me, particularly the idea of having friends and selecting those who really are the people that you choose to FaceTime etc
thank you so much for this video. this year has been the most difficult of my entire life. the year prior i was on top of everything getting amazing grades and having good friends. and suddenly i found myself spending months depressed for uni because i just couldn’t get myself to study. my family got covid during christmas, the only time i could get to see them and some of them got seriously ill. my mom might lose her job and savings and the stress is insane. a month ago i had surgery and because of a mistake they made i almost died of an hemmorage. i was non responsive for days and after two months i’m still recovering. but not only i can’t stop studying but i also have to catch up with all the workload i left behind because of the surgery. i know that i need sometime off to process everything that has happened and to think about my health but i feel too guilty to do so and too worried that i’m not going to graduate. i’m stuck. thank you for saying this words and making me feel like i’m not the only one struggling.
Sounds like you have to face a lot of heavy things right now. Know that even when you feel like you can't take a break, you always can. Wishing you the best❤
Wow that’s all so much! It sounds like you really need to heal and catch up. Hopefully you can get extensions and maybe even take a semester off, or something. I hope you’re feel better soon.
I would tell anyone starting university to: - not buy all the textbooks they are are waste of money and space. - try not to focus on the aesthetics of uni life even though it’s so addictive - put studying ahead of everything when planning but also organise to go out for drinks or go for a walk. - I recently moved out whilst studying and I can finally study at home. - weigh up the benefits of moving out. - don’t forget to eat veges and drink water
I got diagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia at 28. Which means I did all of uni while dealing with these conditions but not knowing why it took me so long to graduate or why studying was so so difficult. I loved my degree, got good grades, and I use it in my professional life, but I struggled a lot with the material. As long as you're doing your best, try not to be too harsh on yourself.
I completely agree about finding friends in college/uni is so hard. I’m in my last semester of my bachelors with my first year and a half being in person before the pandemic hit it was extremely difficult to connect with people mostly because it’s shock, social anxiety, and imposter syndrome around people that in my case I never grew up with or that are older than me by 2-4 years. It’s so difficult now that I am almost done my bachelors not even seeing these people that I almost connected with in almost 3 years. I am going back to school for another degree and I am hoping to make new friends and go to class in person! And too add, making friends in your 20s are so hard! I also never lived on campus and lived in different directions to other peers in my classes/program
I wish someone had told me more about University finances, that your loans don't cover everything, and also I wish I was made aware of all the different options/avenues to University or what to do after school rather than "You don't know what you want to do? It doesn't matter, as long as you go to a Russel Group University". Pretty big decision to make at 18, especially when that involves moving countries!! I'm glad for my experiences in the end (I did happen to meet my best friend there and grew so much as a person), but I ultimately couldn't afford university and was surrounded by seeing everyone else have the 'University experience' where I had to be isolated and eventually drop out due to inability to finance my education (this made me feel really isolated and a sense of 'unfairness'/'not belonging' that you mentioned in the video). Not knowing any other option and having no 'training' or advice for what to do after school (I went to a voluntary grammar, a free school for children who perform high academically. However as a result, University was the only path) and for someone who has low family support and finances, dropping out felt like the end of the world for me, and I moved back to my home country out of homesickness, despite there being no opportunities there. No matter how hard I tried to find a good job or get financial support, I was trapped in minimum wage jobs living paycheck to paycheck despite being very academic due to needing money to, well, survive. In my country, you NEED a degree (or family connections...) to get a decent job (so I guess the advice I got was relevant, but not suitable for me and my situation). Basically, I felt like wasted potential. At the age of 24, after years of saving up (so I could move to a country with opportunity again) and trying to figure things out, I have finally found 'my path' and am now doing an Apprenticeship in Software Engineering and I LOVE it!!!! I get to constantly learn and apply my mind AND not only get paid enough to live on but also to put some money aside! I have routine and an immediate advancement upon completion so I am guaranteed advancement in the industry and can see my path before me, giving me the stability and confidence I never had before! To top it off, I got this apprenticeship BACK in my University city, so moving countries (again) wasn't so daunting after my first 'failure' as I was coming back to some level of support via my best friend again, and have since settled in and made plenty new friends. For any university students/prospective high school students struggling, trust me, university isn't the only option and most certainly not necessarily the best years of your life. If you're unsure, do a Foundation year at Uni (again, something I was never made aware of) as a 'taster' if you can. At least if you decide against university you leave with a qualification, which seems a lot better than just being a 'drop out'. I personally couldn't recommend apprenticeships more and love it so much and feel so grateful for how my life has changed that I volunteer my free time to promote Apprenticeships and organise/welcome new apprenticeships within my current workplace. Sorry for this long message, I hope it helps someone out there
To my first year self: don’t let go of doing the things you love just for academic success. Don’t give up your good habits because you have to study. Take the time to go for a run, play the violin, read a book just for fun. Giving up on those things will not make you a better student.
oof, this. 👏👏
Im starting university in September at the age of 22 and I really needed to hear this. I have a lot of hobbies that I want to maintain and one of my biggest fears is having to give that up, especially as someone with mental health problems😅
Amen
Does anyone know any universities that do food safety and hygiene courses?
@@UnJadedJade
Thank you you your video, can I please ask you a few questions:
how long do your written essays have to be?
How many can you get given,per week/term/semester?
Do you have to wake up extremely early,such as 6am?
The timing of this video is just perfect. I started uni in fall 2019 and had pretty specific expectations due to how it's depicted in mass media and society. I'm a rather introverted person, which added to the pressure of acting a certain way and be different from the "true me" in order to fit in. I was honestly quite relieved when everything shut down due to covid a few months later. Last week, after over two years of only online classes, my uni went back to in person teaching, which meant I finally had to leave my comfort zone again. At first I was excited, but to be honest, it's not going too well so far. All friends I made in first year except for one have now changed subjects or unis or completely dropped out. Yesterday, after an exhausting week of trying to fight my fears, meet new people and adapt to "normal" uni life again, I just...broke down on the train home. I couldn't stop crying, I couldn't even really breathe because of how insecure and lonely and overall lost I felt and because I knew I still would have to go back on Monday. I was so frustrated and angry with myself for being so different to "everybody else", who all seem to have their lives together, have huge groups of friends and somehow don't struggle at all. Thank you so much for acknowledging that it's okay if uni is not one of the best, but actually one of the hardest parts of your life. Too few people talk about this! Just keep going, and I guess there's a pretty high chance that things will get better eventually - or at least you'll come out of it all stronger. To anyone feeling overwhelmed: you're not alone. ❤
I feel you. Especialy the friend thing was hard. I also started uni în 2019 and went the pandemic came we al had to go home. I already had spent a year home because I strugled alot with my mental health and what I wanted to do. For most of that Time I became pretty lonely as All the people I knew left Town. I almost lost all my friends during that Time. So I was really excited to go to uni, a breath of fresh air, în the begining. Im also introverted and makeing friends dont come natural or eazy, it was harder then I thought it would be honestly. But I tried to push myself spenak to as many people as posibile. When I had to go home it was hard în my mental health, being again alone în my old room. I trind so much to change myself And situation and somehow I eded up where I started. All the friendships I was beinging to make were lost for the most part. Since then we came back to uni I feel Im surounded by acquaintances and stragers But no friends. Everyone esle seemd to adapt reayl well and have big groups of friends. I feel so lony and out of place în this city. I honestly dont know what to do
Sorry for the rant but it did made me feel a little bit better wrting about it. I dont have anyone în real life that Im condortabpe talking about it
I resonate with your experience so much. I started university in 2020 and had one semester in person - I initially had a great time, I got into a relationship and was having so much fun - university seemed to be everything I had dreamed of. Then lockdown happened and semester two was completely online - I also went through a break up during that time. I struggled so much with loneliness and fear of covid. When the lockdown ended, I wasn't relieved - instead, I found that my social anxiety was worse and I was so scared of covid that I didn't really leave the house, even when there were no restrictions. University is in-person again this year and it was really hard to push myself to go out again, especially since after my breakup I actually had no friends at university. I had all these expectations/dreams that I would make new friends and have this "perfect" uni life - but I'm halfway through the semester and I am still struggling with intense anxiety and loneliness - I haven't found "my people" and I'm constantly stressed with the workload. University can be a very anonymous and unforgiving place and it really hasn't fulfilled the narrative that the media puts out. Thank you for sharing your experience and it's nice to know that we aren't alone in this.
hugss
Wow, it means so much that so many of you can relate. It's very reassuring to know that my feelings are not so uncommon after all. Thank you all for sharing, I'm sure we can do it!
@@andreeab2948 I relate so much to this : for the first time I forced myself to speak to a lot of people but it didn't really work cause I wasn't myself, it wasn't a genuine spontaneous desire to connect, I was just doing this to be able to say I have friends cause that's what "normal" and what psychologists say matters a lot in happiness. I just wasn't myself and I hated it. I'm pretty sure people noticed it and that's why I made almost no friends and the ones I made were kinda incompatible with me so I dodged them. I was constantly introspecting myself, judging myself before, during and after interactions. For a few weeks/months now I have cared and tried to care less and less to control how I behave, to be myself, not force myself to talk to some people or say some things, like I stopped asking everybody what hobbies they had etc. I was afraid I would have nothing to say, like blank. But it's not true. When I let myself be free, say what comes to my mind, have no expectations and don't judge myself, I do have things to say, I spend a good time and I think the people I interact with spend a good time too. I think those are some of the keys : not forcing yourself to do anything and not judging yourself for being a certain way or saying certain things, and being confident that if you don't try to control how you act things will turn out great. Maybe also realize that things aren't as serious as we think they are. Since I'm in this mindset I made what I consider to be a true friend, I spontaneously talk to more people and I'm happier. Anyway that's it for me :)
The piece of advice I would give to my younger self, would be to not try so hard to be like everyone else and to focus on you :) you feel more empowered and successful just doing what you feel is right and makes you happy rather than seeking it from other people
this.
I think its important not to define or expect a single time in your life to be the “happiest.” Your life will have ups and downs and thats okay. I particularly think we as younger people need to remember that age doesnt subtract from happiness- there is no timeline on being happy or finding “the best time”
I love this, in some ways exactly what I needed to hear today, I'm grateful that 9 months ago you took the time to write this, thank you
I’ve never related to something more in my life!!! We went to college thinking it was going to be the best years of our lives but having a realistic expectation of the experience and truly understanding the fact that you’re going to evolve and grow as a person helps you navigate life during this time. Ugh I wish I had this video 4 years ago so helpful Jade 💜
yes yes yes, this!! sending so much love Khalilah
my advice is don't rush anything. when i was in high school i was constantly thinking about how my life is gonna be great when i start uni (and in a lot of ways it is), but as soon as i started uni, literally 2 weeks in, i was like what's next? stop rushing to the next thing and enjoy where you are now. and even if it's hard, it's the greatest period of growth trust me and it will get better :))
i feel like this comment is all over the place sorry lmao
My life at uni just means studying. I don't have friends. I have no reason to have nights out. I have no one to go to parties with. All I do is study and spend time with family. High school was way better. I've never heard anyone say that their experience is like this so in case anyone else is experiencing the same thing, here is your sign that you're not the only one. But keep going, it's only a few years out of your hopefully long life. Everything that comes after will definitely be better.
it´s the same for me, but it feels horrible to wait for six years (thats how many years med school in germany is) until life hopefully feels better and easier. idk, i know i`m investing in my future but it feels like i´m wasting my time being unhappy
I would tell myself to prioritise having a social life. I used to put so much effort into academics but would get burnt out and end up with bad mental health so quickly (which then caused bad grades) because I didn't have the social life to balance things out. it's good to have fun with friends and connect with people, it really turns the experience around.
my issue is I would go to an extreme to the other, like only studying one semester and only drinking in bars the other one because "what's the point of trying if I don't have good grades?"
so yeah, balance is key (hopefully it works out better for any new student in the comments)
I'd say to myself that even though many people around me are doing things last minute and pulling all nighters, drinking caffeine or not eating well - that should not be the norm of what a "student" is. You should keep exploring yourself and how you work best, and honour that. Manage your time well and take care of yourself, study smarter, not longer.
I always felt like others knew how to study through time while I was doing all nighters (didn't work out well for me in the long term), need help with management
My advice to my younger self before going to college would be to care less about how you will be perceived by others and put more thought into what will make you happiest. There are so many sources of external pressure, like pleasing parents and impressing peers, that have shaped so many of the decisions I've made in college. But I wish they hadn't. As hard as it can be to tune out that noise, it is so necessary for learning what will make you truly happy. Lean into being uncomfortable and take the time to learn who you are without the opinions of others swaying your perception of yourself.
Advice to my younger self would be that joining societies is great, but to properly make friends you also need to build on those relationships outside of the pre-organised activities. That does make it an extra time commitment thing and balancing all that can be hard (I am a serial over-committer) but I've learnt that for me friends are more important than academic or extra-curricular commitments.
to my younger self:
uni is not a competition that you need to rush until you win it. it’s always about the process. and please don’t get stuck into this nerdy stereotype! xoxo
( estou supondo que você é br)
kkkkkkkkkk ESSE CONSELHO FOI SENSACIONAL.
Im so stressed, i took a few months off since my mental health was drowning...my friends are gonna graduate this may but I will be graduating in November. I'm a private candidate and have lost my friends since I don't go to school anymore. I often feel like I'm far behind in my life although it's just a gap of few months. Idk what to do
I'm sorry for the rant, felt the need to get this out my head
@@thewaffle2570 don’t worry, bro! it’s really nice that you took these gap months to invest in yourself, it’s something I’ve often thought about doing as well though.
College has taught me that each experience is unique. For example, during college years, our classmates majors often diverge in so many ways. And after college each of us will pick a different path. And still, we have time for new choices. Good luck in your journey!
@@RafaelSilva-dr8nn vlw kkkkkkkk amo quando os brasileiros dominam os comentários do yt
Jade, this content is outstanding, empowering and impactful. It's the honesty and truth society needs to hear more about. If I was to give myself advice to a younger version of myself, it would be to not bend to peer pressure. The depiction of what is a typical university student needs to change as so many people are made to feel uncomfortable just for not fitting into that bracket. Thank you for being so open 💙
This video touched me so deeply and showed up just as I needed it. I'm in my second year studying as a Bulgarian student in the Netherlands during Covid. Spent my first year at home online, came to the Netherlands for the second year and couldn't find accommodation and I feel like I am just now - a year and a half in - trying to get used to the new country. It's just a lot sometimes but I'm grateful for everything that has happened to me because it taught me and keeps teaching me so much.
My piece of advice to myself 2 years ago would be: "Take it one day at a time and try to not think about the future too much. Yes, we have to make plans and make sure that we are on the right track but this can backfire as it brings way too much stress sometimes. Enjoy every day because all of them are different and you will never get to be right here right now again and try to live for the moment a little more."
I would tell my younger self to never seek friendships or romantic relationships out of loneliness. Seems obvious but uni is such a lonely place when you start and know anyone that it took me two years to realise i had surrounded myself with people that didn't appreciate me, just because i felt terribly alone. Don't be scared of solitude and embrace it, there you'll find your way to truthful people. I am an introvert so that's specially hard but, sometimes it just takes a kind word and a little bit of determination to make new friends (: also Don't EVER compare your grades with anyone else's (even your high school self). And good luck
My advice to my younger self is to pick a path based on what is true to you and will make you happy instead of picking a path/university that looks impressive to other people.
What would you advise if I like many fields of study? I really am afraid of being stuck in one job and I can’t switch to another one. I’m in my 3rd year of uni
:
@@juliettelaviet3689 what subject are you studying if you don't mind me asking?
@@padopaw Poli-sci and Psyc
What I wish I knew before university: pick a school in a place/city you want to live in and that has programs that you are interested in studying. It sounds obvious but I just followed the crowd of where most people were going instead of looking into schools in different parts of the country that may have been smaller/less well known. Also, it's okay if you don't know exactly what you want to do, choose something to study that interests you and go for it, even if you don't know exactly where it will take you. Just keep following the things that light you up!
I would tell my younger self that it's okay if you don't have the stereotypical college experience. That there is nothing wrong with you and it may look like the people around you are living their best lives (sometimes), but there is so much pressure to look or be perceived a certain way in college. Of course nobody wants to look like the "lonely person with no friends" and to be honest, that was kind of me my whole time at Uni. I graduate this year and can say those "friends" I had are no longer in my life. It's hard because I guess I wanted to find my people and make those lifelong, lasting genuine friendships, and I didn't. But it's okay. I'll be okay. There is much more to life honestly (not saying that a sense of belongingness isn't important and that you shouldn't want that - it's only natural we do). But the best thing we can do is cultivate that relationship with ourselves because that seriously impacts our connections with others. Also, I wish I had spent way more time focusing on building the life I desired (my goals, aspirations, dreams) instead of obsessing about my social life.
I'm still choosing to be proud of myself, to love myself unconditionally. I can't go back in time and change things, but I can move forward with these lessons. All of this stuff shaped me into who I am today. For that I will be greatful for eternally.
I feel the same about my experience, and thanks for the inspiring words!
Learning to be kind to yourself, and recognising that everyone’s uni experience will inevitably be different to yours. There is no right or wrong way to be a student, follow what makes you happy and most at home in your environment. It’s for such a short time, and to punish yourself for not having a conventional or stereotypical uni experience is such a waste of precious time.
The piece of advice I would give to my younger self would be “no rush, you don’t need to prove anything to the people around you. Prioritize your mental health ❤️”
I’d tell first year me…
Focus on yourself first and don’t waste your time chasing after people because at the end of the day everyone has their best interest in mind and so should you. That doesn’t mean you can’t be there for others but rather don’t over extend yourself and make sure you’re meeting your needs first. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
university is the best time of your life in the same way 'school is the best time of your life ' - only for sociable, outgoing people who make friends easily and everyone likes. if your an introverted anti social, anxious shy weirdo like me, its the worst time of your life and the time where you will feel worse about yourself and unlikeable and insecure. The only part I like is the learning, the people are awful.
From a young muslim gurl, moving from a country in Africa to Europe for study at the age of 17, id tell myself im so proud of you and I don’t know how you did it and why you did it, and the the fact that’s you’re still going in this journey it’s shows how strong you’re, and i know you can handle whatever will come your way, it’s been a whole different journey that’s you weren’t aware of its challenges but if i had the opportunity I’ll do it over again cuz it’s shaped a whole different personality of mine, and im so grateful for all the people I’ve meet who’ve impacted my life tremendously
Shut up
As weird as it sounds, my piece of advice would be that you can be surrounded by people and still feel alone. Seek those people who you find the deepest connections with, realise they are few and have fun with them
Honestly, based on what I've heard from you about the workload Minerva places on students, I personally don't think it's necessary or acceptable. Other than perhaps Oxbridge (which then provides you with an incredibly reputable degree), I have never heard of a University expecting so much of its students. It really seems to be crippling for the mental health of students and I don't see why a University should be allowed to get away with that. It's almost as though they've adopted it as one of the traits of the uni, but I don't see how that is a positive thing.
Jade, words can’t express how how grateful I am for this video and how much I can relate to everything you said, so thank you, from the bottom of my heart. 💙💙
I’ve almost finished first year at university and I can say that it definitely hasn’t been the best year of my life, in fact it’s been one of the unhappiest years I’ve had.
I’m extremely introverted at university and don’t fit into any of the expectations at all like going clubbing, drinking, being confident and meeting soo many people. I’ve also felt the loneliest I’ve ever felt and found it really difficult to make friends and moving away from home for the first time.
I’ve been really unlucky with my flat mates this year so that hasn’t been great but I’m holding onto a bit of hope that next year will be better!!
Although I am starting to enjoy it more, it’s only enough for me to keep persevering and I by no means love it. X
Hi Rosie, I can very much relate to some of your struggles.. you're not in this alone!
What I realised during this year - that there has been always a loving family behind with which you can do check-ins as much as you need (I hope it is the same for you), just as good old friends. Also, what I can recommend is 1) sticking to daily casual magic just like Jade 2) enjoy your personal space as much as possible with the activities you love 3) try to grow as a person by watching similar "shared terapy" videos or videos of life philosophies or of other people who live a solo life - that might help empower you and feel again you're not there alone!
@@matyashansel438 hey, thank you very much for the lovely reply. I’m so glad there are a lot of other people who have felt the same way as me. I will try some of those things especially looking for daily casual magic x
I would love love love to hear you talk about how to draw healthy boundaries with your classmates. Unfortunately, my studying environment isn't very friendly and my classmates are competitive. However, whenever I help someone I find them demanding too much from me, and I often struggle to know when should I help and when should I not.
Being in that environment makes me feel like I can't be myself comfortably and it's suffocating.
Anyone thinking of getting into uni plz do your research. Get in touch with people with the uni u are interested in...to get to know the space and the course u are getting into. The university you choose should be a place where its the extension of your 'heart'. Does the education system they teach fulfill you...help you learn as an individual? The students and people there do they inspire you to be a better person? I feel we take university for granted...that its just a paper we end up receiving that will help as get a job and begin our career. But uni should be a space that gives you the freedom to discover yourself through your studies. You can do incredible things and create such an impact from the beginning of uni! I'd say choose to study sth you are truly passionate about...however difficult it is because if you are determined you'll be successful in your own personal way. Don't make the mistake of choosing sth just to find a job. Uni should be chosen in the sense of exploration and extension of self. Or else if you are a healthy human you can do any job...seriously. Whoever reaches this end I hope the best for you and I know you are doing great. I believe in you! Look at this...I managed to ramble a snowball of thoughts! Take care!
I needed this right now, the choices i have had to make as a future university student have gotten me to question my whole existence...
Take care of yourself too!!
How do you find people who do the courses you want to do or are in the uni you want to go to?
@@amelia4570 I think this is a valid question. Based on my own experiences and thoughts, of course it is easier if you know someone who is in the uni studying or has graduated, where you can get in touch with and give you an idea what it is like studing at the uni you are interested in.
Other than that, since we are living in the age of social media, there are many universities that upload stories on Instagram and you can also get a feeling of the people there, the work they do (also by checking the uni's website). Also, attending Open Days, is a great opportunity to talk to teachers and students and ask them as many questions as possible for you to get an understanding of where you will be studying, the courses, facilities etc. Also, if you can find the emails of teachers or current uni students, you can email them and also ask them about what is the experience of studying at the X uni, the excitement, uniqueness (of uni) and the challenges.
The thing you need to understand though is that however much information you gather about the uni you are interested in (and the reseatch is important!), by the end of the day a choice will be made and a risk will need to be taken. But I find that joy and challenge are hidden within that risk. The only way forward then is to have faith in yourself and to a higher power. - "everything is going to be alright"! - Bob Marley. (this human keeps me grounded and hopeful!)
I hope all the best for your future and I wish you follow the path that makes you the most happy, peaceful and the one that is according to your own personal values and beliefs. Take care!
I'm a first-year college student. I wish I focused more on finding my people and having deep and powerful conversations with those individuals. I spent a hefty part of my first semester feeling incredibly lonely. Likely because I was just having a bunch of surface-level conversations instead of getting to know people.
Advice: be kind to yourself during the experience, and university should not become your identity even though it is your way to prove to yourself you are capable of becoming anything you want
The advice I would give my younger self before going to university is: Be more patient and easy on yourself and don’t rush anything and trust the process and follow your heart’s desire no matter what anyone else tell you!👍🏻
Why did we forget how bad better help was in the fact they dont check the peoples qualifications on there. Like someone might be paying for someone that hasn't learnt to properly helped them
I'm extremely grateful that you made this video!I've moved to another city to start uni effectively in September 2021 because covid messed up my plans for my first year.Besides everything, I've always had to fight a huge peer pressure and the fear that if I didn't fullfil the classic uni student stereotype, then there was something I was missing out.Getting used to live in a city, doing everything alone, learning how to live with strangers and meeting new people has been exhausting, but nobody ever talked about this.I made a couple of "friends" , but for various reasons I don't see them as much as I expected, I just feel that we are not on the same wavelength anymore and it feels lonely sometimes.Thank you for sharing your experience and harsh times at uni!Many students went/are going through the same situations and it's a huge relief to know that you're not the only one struggling.
I am currently in my second semester, but it is actually my 4th if I count the two corona semesters in my former degree. I quitted because of a number of reasons. Not only that, but I've been hesitating for a long time to quit because of that I had/ I wanted to find something new really fast.
And I would tell my younger self (3 years ago. Because back than the whole misery started) to listen more to what you want and fu..k the opinion of others or what others expect you to do. And for f..k sake inform yourself what you are applying for.
Try as much as possible. New Sports, traveling, internships in business that you are interested in.
And finally. Believe in yourself. Have trust in you and your skills. And don't doubt your whole existence if something gets in your way.
And that's what I would tell everybody who will be going to uni soon. Believe in yourself and try as much as possible. You won't have such easy access to a variety of things after you graduated.
I am graduating this june and my younger self could have really used this video. My advice would be that, since this is a very complex moment in our lives with identity crises, investing into our careers, creating -hopefully- life long friendships, it is very much so okay that sometimes one of these may take a backseat. Sometimes you may focus more on academics, sometimes into your own development journey or whatever. It will all fall into place. When we micro analyse our life in tiny fragments, it may seem more unbalanced than it actually is. Love this channel and the community you created Jade💛
So yeah uni hasn't quite gone the way I expected it go, it has been more demanding and more stressful than expected but I have also learned things. Some things I've learned are: Getting things done and learning is more important than grades, you don't need to party all the time and that stressing about things is not going to change the outcome.
Uni is something that I have very much enjoyed but if I was able to do it again I would probably do a lot of things differently but then I can't do that because some of those things were learnt by doing a degree and everything thing that comes with it.
Thank you for making this video, I do like reflection stuff and I need to do some of that myself. :-)
university was not the best time of my life. i was pretty lonely, stressed, depressed and came out of uni with -7€ in my bank account. i'm also an introvert so partying was not me either. i mostly did uni work and that was it. it was nice to learn something new and make a few new friends and meet interesting people. but still.... i've been out of uni for 3 years now and life has gotten better and better. so if you're in university and don't feel like you're living your best life, that's normal and life can definitely get better 😌
Jade🥺
I’ve grown up watching your videos and have always been on a similar timeline to you (gap year, starting uni, etc…) and this video couldn’t have come at a better time for me. I’m struggling SO hard with uni right now.
- changing my major to something “easier” and feeling like I’ve failed
- feeling like I wasted time taking two gap years, and like I’m behind all my 18 year old peers
- going from a small school in a tiny town to a massive university, and coming to terms with no longer being top of my class
- not having found “my people” at all
Literally just everything you talked about in this video. I always romanticise other people’s uni experience (even seeing yours on social media), so hearing this from you is such a comfort❤️
Thank you so much for this video. Hearing you talk about it and reading the comments gave me some peace. I’m struggling with the same things (doing my full bachelor abroad) and it’s been lonely and very hard. Only in my first year so praying things will get better soon, although it’s gotten considerably better already
I started my university journey recently but most of the days after lectures I was riding a Rollercoaster inside my head to figureout my fantasy from reality (also what my lecturer said🥸) THIS VIDEO WAS NEEDED🌞❤ p.s. I really hated it when aduls say I am worrying unnecessarily about things that they saw as least considerable. But I now think they don't feel intimidated by such things because they've already dealt with those things so it seems normal but for us they're whole new experiences. So I love to learn from life.
Absolutely agree with the title :D My best years started after I graduated formal education and found the job I love) I tried 5 jobs while I was studying, and found the loved one on my 6th try)
Congratulations I'm happy for you....will also be joining uni soon it's makes me stick to my idea of part-time job 😁... thanks for commenting 😘
This is an incredibly honest video and I think that many uni students will relate.
Thank you for letting us know that we aren’t alone in these complex emotions and times in our lives
Lots of love from Canada💚
I’ve been struggling with these feelings. Thank you, jade for validating all kinds university experiences and reinforcing that they are not manifold
As an adult with her first nursing degree in her 20s and now doing my second degree in astrophysics while working as a nurse at 40 years old, uni is hard but it is the best time of our life :)
Im in my first year now and I relate to everything u said. Its different when someone can put your struggles into words. You should definitely start a podcast. This was genuinely such a helpful video. I always think of how I have so many "friends" or acquaintances but no real close friends that see me for me. Hopefully next year will get better.
I used to think that I must be a weird because I always feel lonely in uni. My parents and other people constantly tell me that how nice the uni life is but I don’t have the feeling … I worried about my gpa, lots of exams and my future. I’m not like those lucky people who found close friends they can totally rely on and communicate with in uni. When I was sad, the only thing I can do is just watching a movie and calling my parents or old friends. Thanks for telling me I’m not the only person who suffered this problem and it’s normal that uni life doesn’t seem to be perfect.❤️❤️❤️❤️:)
Ur videos are so aesthetic I swear!!I hope u r keeping good
🥺🥺 thank you so so much!!
I loved the video! Hit close to home.
Advice to my younger self: Accept that whatever expectations you have, they are likely to be wrong. “Reality can never match our expectations, because it’s easy to imagine perfection, and very difficult to achieve it.” I had so many false expectations about university. I was so excited at the prospect at being able to pick what I was going to learn in an academic setting for the first time in my life. I was so curious about the subject matter and I expected everyone else to feel the same. I imagined me and my future peers sitting together and having discussions about psychology. I was so wrong. A lot of my peers were just in the degree because they didn't get it to another degree. There is almost an unspoken rule that you don't talk about anything related to psychology outside of university. So I am in a degree I am curious about but surrounded by people who in my opinion treat it like secondary school (there's nothing wrong with that it's just not what I expected).
I could not finish the video. So much bs. So much unimportant concerns mentioned. You should buckle up.
For me the most challenging aspect was the workload. I just finished my law degree (in austria) and i can say that i studied everyday straight for three years (except for some time in summer). And sitting in front of a book just studying for months straight, then working when you are not studying, is so draining. Also the pressure of exams sitting in the back of your neck at all times.
To my first year self: Find your people as you said in the video, because as freshments in uni, we do not realize what a great impact it has in our whole university experience and learn to give yourself a break from the heavy workload of essas and presentations.
I think life in general is just hard. Not to say there aren't wonderful experiences in it, but it's a struggle to keep yourself alive and well and doing all the things you want to do.
exactly, we need more people to be realistic as it makes people feel less alone.
@@maneskinnnnn7190 and more comfortable :)
This video came in perfect time. I've just started university and I'm struggling a lot. It's only been a month since I've started, and I've already rethought every aspect of my life like a million times. I honestly have no idea what I'm doing and I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one that feels this way.
If I could talk to my younger self I would tell her "Take it easy, don't take it so seriously, it is going to be hard, but it's not the end of the world, you can change your mind, you can cry, and that's ok. You're not going to love it all, actually, you're going to hate most of it, especially at the beginning."
Thank you Jade for this video❤️
Ps: I'm from Argentina and I can assure you're going to love it here! Whish you all the best.
The part about the homesickness and not fitting in right away is so real. I hated university my first semester and i really didn't find my friends or develop real relationships with the people I already knew until 1.5 years in. And that was with trying, really really hard. I went to so many new club meetings and would try to talk to new people everywhere, but I always felt like i wasn't in the right place or with the right people. I never understood how some people made friends so quickly in the first few weeks and i spent so many nights just by myself in my dorm room watching youtube and wishing i was at home with my parents. At my uni, people would also go home a lot on the weekends so the campus would be desolate and soo lonely on saturdays and sundays even though i was in a major city. And yes, i didn't know how to take the metro right away either haha.
But my last year of uni was truly one of the best of my life until covid hit. I had friends and would go out and do things all the time with people i loved spending time with. It just took a really long time and a lot of personal growth to get there. So if you're in that situation now, don't give up! I wanted to transfer uni so bad in the beginning, but im really glad i stayed, changed my major, and learned a lot about the world!
To my younger self: don't come to college with high expectations. enjoy being yourself and doing what gives you joy and peacefulness. stop thinking about what others are doing because that doesn't matter, it doesn't affect you or your experience.
My advice to past myself: at uni you will meet so many people so take it easier, don't let yourself form deep attachments with people you are not sure about. University time taught me to communicate with different people, talk to them on various topics but make necessary borders between us.
Now I think carefully before I let someone go in my personal life and influence my emotional condition - that makes it much easier to control your life and reach settled goals without disappointments and emotional breakdowns.
For me, university (more specifically a bachelors degree) is actually not hard at all, if you show up to all your lectures and put in decent effort, it's a guaranteed good grade in a way that just was not possible at A level, and I studied bio and chem for A level and am doing a biology degree with computer science. Minerva I noticed is a far more rigorous university than any British university.
I'll never forget the crushing realisation at A level that my best wasn't good enough :/ so glad that uni is easier because I wouldn't be able to handle that level of academic rigour again 😬
I love this video, I use your canal for learning English and "charlas" like this are so cool:)
What I wish I new is that learning about yourself requires a lot of unlearning and it uncomfortable and scary but so so so rewarding as well. It is okay to start over and retry as much as you need to. 🌻
Thank you....i really appreciate this as i need it the most at this time ❤❤❤❤ i relate to lot of things you say jade.. yah we should stop sterotyping univ
Adults give that advice (I'm 37 and do it now oops) because a) we've forgotten we hated it b) adulting sucks c) you have choices and we feel like we don't have them anymore. Nothing happens once you have a job/career in your 30s. If you're female and childless, your female friends are mostly all married and have kids and it's hard to relate. It gets lonely. You don't get the joy of even working hard for a good grade or working with people you like. You just work and you get money and it all goes on boring stuff like housing. Or tiny things to make life bearable. One day you'll understand.
Hey Jade. I just wanna let you know that your videos are really helpful, you're like a mentor to me. Thank you very much.
Hey Jade, here's a message for u: ✨
I recently read ur book and let me tell u- Thank you so much! For having written this book, and publishing it. For giving me the advice, motivation and guidance I needed. I'm not a fan of self-help books, but I've always loved ur videos so I decided to give this book a go. Right from the first page, I knew my decision had been right. 😄
The way u have written the book, it's like u are talking to a friend, and I could imagine u speaking those words to me! The book felt like a warm hug and a reassurance that I can succeed at my studies. And those chapters on fear of failure, dealing with results, mental health...I read these chapters at a time when I really needed it. "You will succeed, you will be loved and you will have a future, a good one." I can't emphasize how much those words meant to me, Jade. Thank you SO MUCH for this! ❤
Lots of love,
~♡
PS: I started using blurting while revising for my upcoming exams, and active recall makes ALL the difference! 🙌
I'm graduating highschool in literally 2 months or so and I always though that uni/college is full of fun,partying,happiness etc but I was so wrong..tysm Jade for this vid💜💖
Post grad advice I’d give to my undergrad self: Don’t put pressure of unnatural friendships, your real best friends will come righttt at the end of your final year, but they’ll be the ones to stick around
This is a really important video and I felt every word you said... I'm struggling with these things right now and I know how much it can be hard. I don't know what advice I would give to my younger self because I started university just the last year and I'm still trying to find my way to be happy facing it, but probably now I would have told her this: "You will fight with a lot of hard stuff making this choice having high expectations, so try your best to find your peace and sense in this word before starting this chapter: university will not give you this, you must feel good about yourself not just with your ideal future cause there isn't a real finish line. Don't search it in uni, life hasn't real one final goal, there is not a sence. Don't try always to find it, just... Live it". The hard part is learning to love living without a really existing sence... I'm still trying, hoping one day it will get better. For now, wish everyone who's struggling with similar situations the best. PS: sorry for my bad english, I'm italian
"You must feel good about yourself not just with your ideal future cause there isn't a real finish line"...OKAY, THAT HIT ME😪❤️
Can you please do a video on discovering who you are and staying true to yourself?
The biggest piece of advice I wish I had been told and reminded of in my final years at high school is that you DO NOT have to go to university straight after high school and that though it can be difficult to feel like you fit in to the university culture later in life, you will likely get far more out of your studies by putting university on hold for even a couple of years, try new things, get a job, understand what subjects truly move you and then begin your university journey. I left high school at 16 with zero expectations of going to university, I thought it was purely for academic types. Im now 24 in 3rd year and studying Animation, VFX, digital design all this fun stuff. Long story short, university can wait and it also isnt everything. learning is lifelong, it doesnt stop at 18.
Everything you said, I related to
🥺
Noone talks about the hardships you face in university
Thanks jade ☺️(literally holding back my tears )🥺 ✨ it's beeeen hard
So hard
But I'm gonna keep going 🌻
To the person reading this 🌻you are gonna be ok, don't stop moving 🙂
🦋
If you are a girl going into typically male field find yourself girlfriends outside of uni. Guys dont usually like to deep of the talks and you need someone to talk to about periods and stuff ;)
100% agree with all those expectations you mentioned, Jade.
I dropped out of first-year maths a month ago and do not regret it in the slightest. Sure, it might’ve set me back compared to all my friends who are at uni, gaining a degree they want, but I hated my course and struggled far too much with the content that all my effort just didn’t seem worth it. I was working crazy hours to keep up with all the work being set and to spend 6 months and end up not enjoying or understanding anything was really tough. There was very little support for the 10/250 of us who didn’t take further maths A-level despite the uni saying they would provide it. It was clear it makes such a difference to people’s learning, when all the teachers I’ve encountered said it doesn’t.
I come from a working-class background and was astonished at the amount of middle/upper-class students at my uni. I was used to most people at home being from a similar background to me but at uni, it was vastly different. I felt extremely judged, and some of my flatmates thought I was odd as I worked so much and struggled severely with speaking in groups. I’m an introvert, and didn’t go clubbing once as I don’t drink, nor did I want to. I missed my friends from home who I had things in common with and everyone formed their friendship groups and sorted out houses so quickly that I just felt so alone.
I’m very glad I took the step to drop out because I never cried as frequently as I did at uni. Since being home, I’ve applied for jobs and feel much more optimistic about my future. To anyone reading or relating to anything Jade has said in this video, please ignore the stigma surrounding dropping out of uni. If it’s what’s best for you mentally, do it. My mental health has improved dramatically since getting out of that environment.
Here’s a truly wonderful quote that encapsulates how I feel about my situation: “Your future hasn't been written yet, no one's has. Your future is whatever you make it, so make it a good one.”
To my younger self: the work is not be all and end all. Your physical and mental health matter so much more than lectures and readings about a topic that simply stresses you out. Even if you fail the unit it’s not the end of the world, it’s all a learning curve for finding balance
Tw / sa
College (university for people not from the US) was such a mixed period in my life. I met some of my best friends. I learned so much about myself and the world, not just my career. But I also had a literal mental breakdown spring of freshman year. My mental health was the worst it had literally ever been. I engaged in a lot of self-destructive behaviors and my relationship with food was terrible. I experienced SA for the first time and had to deal with and heal from that. I'm so glad I did it but I'm also so glad it's over.
This makes me feel so much better about struggling at uni sometimes, and I feel so proud of myself for doing this! Thank you so much Jade!
I've started Uni in September, physics and my expectations were so high, but for some reason my self esteem and confidence disappeared the moment lectures started. In a way I believe that the fear of not being good enough, actually made me not good enough, I started procrastinating the work, which is a lot (and I don't know about other subjects, but here if you miss one class and don't hurry to catch up, you won't understand a thing for the rest of the semester basically), because of the fear of not being able to get it done. I know that I have all the qualities to thrive, but I'm not and that's draining, still trying to get out of the loophole.
Jade you just exposed all the tea. You college experience will depend on what you study and the work load that comes with it. The advice I would tell myself would be to study something that will be happiness and rather than money. Picked engineering to study in uni.
Thank you so much I'm in my first year at uni and this was exactly what I needed! I was feeling lonely, not feeling like I belonged, struggling with academics and this was just reassuring to watch knowing that I'm not alone :)
This is a very valuable video but many of these challenges aren't specific to university, they happen on various paths in life.
This is the most relatable video I’ve seen regarding college. Thank you 💕
such a great video 😩 so relatable in so many aspects! uni definitely isn't the ideal picture-perfect haven most people say it is and so trying to manage those expectations together with the workload is so difficult. but i think knowing that almost all uni students go through this at some point of their university journey somewhat makes this whole process feel less lonelier :)
but a piece of advice i would definitely give to my younger self/those who have yet to step foot into uni is to just not have any expectations and be open to trying out things and finding out who you are. i think getting into uni just right out of high school can be daunting, but i think that's where uni sort of comes as a blessing in disguise. i also think, especially when choosing a degree/course, to always do research, and if possible, seek advice from seniors so that navigating through uni will be less confusing and frustrating.
yup! this video spoke to me on so many levels omg, thank you for sharing your pov!
My biggest piece of advice would be that you in no way HAVE to do every module your course plan says to do in the semester you’re in. I’ve learned this the hard way after overscheduling and then completely breaking down by the deadlines. There’s really no shame in postponing an essay or an exam 🌞
I would tell my college freshman self: "Just because there is a multitude of new things to try and do, you don't have to do everything and it's ok to not pick up that new extracurricular activity to preserve your peace/sanity."
I only started uni last September but have changed so much since then. I find myself regretting having my walls up and not connecting more with my current friends, family and new people. Now I am more confident and have a better sense of who I am. But now I have no one to call when things get hard and no-one to enjoy experiences with. I'm just trusting that I will find these connections without forcing superficial ones. However embarrassed or burdensome you feel of who you, connect speak up, if you are rejected it is better to have tried.
Does anybody relate to missing your pet like crazy when being away from home for your studies?
yes!! 🥲🥺
Thank you for making this, when I searched “how to overcome the fear of failing” I watched your video and now this one and have made me feel better even though I still feel somewhat bad but it was nice to hear, and what piece of advice would I give to my past self before univ, well…it’s going to be hard, because after failing classes, having social issues, having back surgery and to top it all off having one of my closest friends pass away I would have to say my mind has been through so much and it’s hard for me to believe that it could get any worse other than me failing out of college which is a real possibility at this time but I try not to worry about it too much because I know things will work there way but anyway. Thank you for putting your words out it means a lot. 👍
Thank you so much for this video. I really needed to hear that. I started university during the pandemic, moved away, no friends, classes just online, no really possibility to connect with new people. I have been so hard on myself why I don't enjoy it, why nothing is how I imagined it. What you said kind of kicked home. I just started crying bc I was the only person dealing with this in my old friend group and that made it even worse. Hearing that words from someone else is somehow very relieving. We're all going thorough it. Stay strong!
this video was literally made for me!💗
thank you so much
This resonated with me on such a level I can't even describe! Thank you! And to whoever is reading this, my advice before you may start Uni: Don't feel rushed by anyone or society that you have to start Uni at a certain point. I wish I hadn't started Uni when I did and now I am just pushing myself towards the end and I wish I had taken time before Uni to get more experience and learn about myself. You don't need to know what you want to be for the rest of your life at the age of 18-25.
From someone in their mid 40s who enjoyed uni and still has good friends from that time - life gets SO MUCH BETTER afterwards!! You know yourself, you set better boundaries, you care MUCH less about what other people think. And you do not have to share a bedroom (unless you choose!) - seriously, what is that with making adults share a sleeping space?!
focus less on changing yourself to make friends, and more on finding out who you are. you'll attract the right people that way
I relate so much to the different parts of the video. It's a relief to know I'm not the only one to feel and live what you depicted (+ the comments too)! I think everyone knows and experiences what you described (loneliness, expectations about partying, finding your people, academics, etc.) but just never speaks out loud about it: it's almost like it's a taboo in some ways. Thank you Jade for making us (uni students) heard and seen :) Wishing you the best for the end of your semester
Wait wait, you make a video with almost an identical title like Ruby‘s video (and very similar content) and not even mention her? Even if yours wasn’t (fully) inspired by hers that’s kinda weird… agree though
Dear Jade, Thank you for always being so honest and transparent about how you feel, and the things going on in the background of your life. As 17 year old, I always watch videos like these to get a sneak peek into what the next chapter of my life could entail and I always have many hypothesises as to what it is like being a University student. Though I am not a university student, many of the ideas throughout you videos resonated with me, particularly the idea of having friends and selecting those who really are the people that you choose to FaceTime etc
thank you so much for this video. this year has been the most difficult of my entire life. the year prior i was on top of everything getting amazing grades and having good friends. and suddenly i found myself spending months depressed for uni because i just couldn’t get myself to study. my family got covid during christmas, the only time i could get to see them and some of them got seriously ill. my mom might lose her job and savings and the stress is insane. a month ago i had surgery and because of a mistake they made i almost died of an hemmorage. i was non responsive for days and after two months i’m still recovering. but not only i can’t stop studying but i also have to catch up with all the workload i left behind because of the surgery. i know that i need sometime off to process everything that has happened and to think about my health but i feel too guilty to do so and too worried that i’m not going to graduate. i’m stuck. thank you for saying this words and making me feel like i’m not the only one struggling.
Sounds like you have to face a lot of heavy things right now. Know that even when you feel like you can't take a break, you always can. Wishing you the best❤
thank you :)
Wow that’s all so much! It sounds like you really need to heal and catch up. Hopefully you can get extensions and maybe even take a semester off, or something. I hope you’re feel better soon.
I would tell anyone starting university to:
- not buy all the textbooks they are are waste of money and space.
- try not to focus on the aesthetics of uni life even though it’s so addictive
- put studying ahead of everything when planning but also organise to go out for drinks or go for a walk.
- I recently moved out whilst studying and I can finally study at home.
- weigh up the benefits of moving out.
- don’t forget to eat veges and drink water
I got diagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia at 28. Which means I did all of uni while dealing with these conditions but not knowing why it took me so long to graduate or why studying was so so difficult. I loved my degree, got good grades, and I use it in my professional life, but I struggled a lot with the material. As long as you're doing your best, try not to be too harsh on yourself.
I completely agree about finding friends in college/uni is so hard. I’m in my last semester of my bachelors with my first year and a half being in person before the pandemic hit it was extremely difficult to connect with people mostly because it’s shock, social anxiety, and imposter syndrome around people that in my case I never grew up with or that are older than me by 2-4 years. It’s so difficult now that I am almost done my bachelors not even seeing these people that I almost connected with in almost 3 years. I am going back to school for another degree and I am hoping to make new friends and go to class in person! And too add, making friends in your 20s are so hard! I also never lived on campus and lived in different directions to other peers in my classes/program
GOSH I needed this right now. Sooo much. ✨ Literally just journaled about all these feels like 10 minutes ago. 💖
The quality of friendships that you built shows the quality of your college experience.
Jade you handled this topic superbly! 3rd year at Uni was the worst year of my life & after I somehow finished it I took a gap year!
I wish someone had told me more about University finances, that your loans don't cover everything, and also I wish I was made aware of all the different options/avenues to University or what to do after school rather than "You don't know what you want to do? It doesn't matter, as long as you go to a Russel Group University". Pretty big decision to make at 18, especially when that involves moving countries!!
I'm glad for my experiences in the end (I did happen to meet my best friend there and grew so much as a person), but I ultimately couldn't afford university and was surrounded by seeing everyone else have the 'University experience' where I had to be isolated and eventually drop out due to inability to finance my education (this made me feel really isolated and a sense of 'unfairness'/'not belonging' that you mentioned in the video). Not knowing any other option and having no 'training' or advice for what to do after school (I went to a voluntary grammar, a free school for children who perform high academically. However as a result, University was the only path) and for someone who has low family support and finances, dropping out felt like the end of the world for me, and I moved back to my home country out of homesickness, despite there being no opportunities there. No matter how hard I tried to find a good job or get financial support, I was trapped in minimum wage jobs living paycheck to paycheck despite being very academic due to needing money to, well, survive. In my country, you NEED a degree (or family connections...) to get a decent job (so I guess the advice I got was relevant, but not suitable for me and my situation). Basically, I felt like wasted potential. At the age of 24, after years of saving up (so I could move to a country with opportunity again) and trying to figure things out, I have finally found 'my path' and am now doing an Apprenticeship in Software Engineering and I LOVE it!!!! I get to constantly learn and apply my mind AND not only get paid enough to live on but also to put some money aside! I have routine and an immediate advancement upon completion so I am guaranteed advancement in the industry and can see my path before me, giving me the stability and confidence I never had before! To top it off, I got this apprenticeship BACK in my University city, so moving countries (again) wasn't so daunting after my first 'failure' as I was coming back to some level of support via my best friend again, and have since settled in and made plenty new friends.
For any university students/prospective high school students struggling, trust me, university isn't the only option and most certainly not necessarily the best years of your life. If you're unsure, do a Foundation year at Uni (again, something I was never made aware of) as a 'taster' if you can. At least if you decide against university you leave with a qualification, which seems a lot better than just being a 'drop out'. I personally couldn't recommend apprenticeships more and love it so much and feel so grateful for how my life has changed that I volunteer my free time to promote Apprenticeships and organise/welcome new apprenticeships within my current workplace. Sorry for this long message, I hope it helps someone out there