What does it mean when they say they're NOT READY for a relationship? And why you should LEAVE...
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- Опубліковано 28 чер 2024
- What does it mean when they say they're NOT READY for a relationship? And why you should LEAVE...
What does it mean when a guy says he's not ready for a relationship or that he's not ready to commit? What about when a girl says she's not ready for a relationship? It can mean a wide variety of things when they say they're not ready for a relationship, but the most obvious being that this person is clearly not on the same page as you. If you want a commitment but he's not ready for a relationship right now, then that's your sign to pack it up and LEAVE. I often hear stories from subscribers saying things like "he won't commit but won't leave me alone," "he won't commit but won't let me go," or she "won't commit but won't stop contacting me." So, in this video, I discuss why the "not ready for a relationship" excuse is a major red flag and why YOU have to be the one to call it quits!
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I'm Ash Nord, your truth-bombing fairy godmother for everything love, dating and relationships. With so many idealistic, romanticised Hollywood messages about love out there, my mission is to be an honest, unfiltered source of information for individuals and couples seeking honest relationship advice and love lessons. No games, no manipulation tactics, no teachings about how to trick someone into liking you… so, if that’s what you’re looking for, I’m probably not your girl. My content is geared towards those wanting to learn more about REAL intimacy and togetherness with their partners or future partners. I have a psychological focus (I'm a psychology student) and a genuine passion for understanding how humans relate to and connect with one another. If you're into that type of thing, or would simply like to hear personal stories about my own life experiences and romantic relationships, then stick around! I got you.
DISCLAIMER: Please note everything stated in this video and all videos on my channel are purely my personal opinions and are for entertainment purposes only. I am not a qualified professional and as such my opinions should not be taken as psychological advice. - Навчання та стиль
I'd rather a girl tell me that "she doesn't want to be in a relationship with ME" rather than, "I'm just not ready for a relationship", and then keeps you around in her friend zone while she gets attention from other guys on her stories, posts etc. Why can't we just be honest with each other, instead of worrying about feelings. I don't want to be "let down easily", I want to crash and burn so I can pick myself up and move on quicker instead of being stuck in a constant mental cycle of , "what ifs". LADIES and MEN, do us this favor and TELL US THE TRUTH.
I'm not ready for a relationship WITH YOU is what it usually means. I had women pull this on me, and 1 week later they're with another guy. Men and women have been guilty of pulling this.
I don't think this is the case every time, so do not generalize like this
@@Julia-kv2po more often than not. Not always, but most of them time she’s not feeling it for him. Women rarely truly understand women.
@@theguynextdoor4978 honestly I think most of the times, this is a true story. In my case it is, the men I've dated that said that, and the men I've rejected when I said that
but its not always like this. Especially young people feel like theyre not quite ready to say goodbye to their childhood (even at ages of 16-19) and they really want a relationship but it just doesnt feel right to them
@@lenasom7190 not always. But it is the case in vast majority of the time. Sometimes other factors, more often an excuse to “let someone down easily”.
After eight months, my avoidant ex told me that even though I was perfect and had the warmest heart of any woman he’s ever dated, he opted to leave the relationship. I left with grace, did not beg, and went zero contact. I have zero time for someone who isn’t emotionally available or someone who isn’t capable of receiving my “warm heart”.
My worth isn’t predicated upon another’s acceptance or rejection. At one’s best, one will not be enough for the wrong person. I am leveling UP and taking my “warm heart” to someone who can appreciate it. #next #selflove
I'm in the same situation... your post helped me to see I'm not in this alone. I hope you've healed.
In addition to your message, in my personal experience, when guys say this it means that they’re not ready for a relationship WITH YOU. My ex did this when he broke up with me. Saying, “I thought I was ready for a relationship but I’m not. I’m going to stay single for at least a year now.” And then IMMEDIATELY got another girlfriend. The same happened to friends of mine too. Broke up and said that phrase, and then went back to an ex the next week.
All this comes down to is they don’t want YOU. And it’s just a cowardly, indirect way of not openly saying it. Move on and don’t look back.
I can totally relate to your experience. My ex promised me that he won't be getting into another relationship for at least a year and I told him that he is full of *hit. Then 3 months later he has gotten into a new relationship. I am so glad that I told him that I knew that he won't be able to keep that promise. It just shows that I made the right decision to leave his ass.
Marta Perlicka yup. I made my ex say the sentence, “There is no hope of us ever getting back together.” Because he wanted to leave the door open ended and he was trying to say all this mess about maybe we’ll get back together some day in like a year or 2 if we’re both single. And I was NOT having it. He reluctantly said it, and I’m so glad I took back that power after seeing that he got another girlfriend so quickly. This was after him and I were together for 3 years and he had just asked me to pick out a wedding ring I wanted. So I’m glad I slammed the door on a person like that.
I totally hear you. And I think you’re correct in saying that there is sometimes an element of “not ready for a relationship... with YOU” at play in some of these situations. However, the reason I didn’t touch on this is because I feel it’s irrelevant. Regardless of someone’s real reason (which is impossible to know for sure), it doesn’t change the fact that they are not prepared to be with us. Which, in my opinion, is all that really matters!
I also think it’s important to not take someone’s unwillingness to be with us (but perhaps their willingness to be with someone else) personally. It doesn’t mean we are less worthy or “not enough.” Sometimes things just don’t quite click, journeys don’t quite match up... we can challenge people in ways that they’re not ready for. There are endless possibilities!
@@ashleysartattack5600 i am so happy to hear that you have taken your power beck. I am sorry that you had to deal with this situation especially after being with someone for such a long time, it must have been hard for you. I was 10 years with my ex and after we broke up he got a new girlfriend like 3 to 4 months later. I am just glad that I told him to not make such promises like the one I mentioned in my previous comment. He never kept his promises while we were together so I knew that what he was saying he would do the exact opposite. His actions are truly a reflection of him rather that myself and I am just so happy to be done with that crap and disappointment in my life. I wish you all the best in your journey to self love and discovery.
some guys have goals or other obligations and don't want to be in a relationship. might change his mind might not. some people like being single and not putting up with others peoples bullshit. maybe his intent was to be single but some guys just like some girls have to be with someone. mommy issues just like girls have daddy issues.
What’s shit for me is the fact that everything was going so well, long walks, introducing our dogs, deep conversations about what we want etc. A lot of inside jokes and all the right energy.. then a couple bad scenarios happened for her inside of 1 week and then she got super stressed and told me she’s not ready for a relationship right now. That’s what’s shit, because I felt like I’d finally found someone on my wavelength regarding a deeper connection and proper getting to know one another and family and then boom.. not ready.. and even though I know I can’t convince someone to be ready.. I feel like in my gut.. she was the right person for me.. just feels like I’ll never get a relationship at this point because something always happens! 😂
Ugh, I’m so sorry this happened to you! This would be extremely confusing. My guess is that perhaps this person has their own inner wounds, fears, anxieties etc that they simply aren’t ready or willing to face right now. They could have been triggered as you got closer, which unfortunately is out of your control. But I understand how painful and confusing that must feel for you ❤️
i think as ive gotten older and realized is you cant project your ideas and hopes and expectations on someone else. people are all operating at a diff wavelength and some people have diff emotional spiritual health limitations and boundaries and something that is insignificant to u may be taking up all their mental or physical capacities at the moment. Some people are more emotionally available than others, some have unresolved childhood traumas, the list goes on. also it is possible that two ppl can meet and have great communication and like spending time together and still not be meant to be together.... thats the the fact of life. and you cant make the other person want those things w u. its only gonna be right and work when both people want it together. its hard to learn but not everyone u fall in love w ur meant to end up with.
Going through this exact same thing rn! How’d it go for ya? Doing alright one year later? Haha
This is exactly what happened to me not even 3 days ago
Just happened to me literally rn same shit for me
yes! i like the part that “it doesnt make the other person toxic” so true! everyone is operating at a diff wavelength and at a diff place in life, and it doesnt make them a bad person of they arent ready to merge their journey and life with yours.
Don't give up on life and the universe I know of a great man who helped you me fix my broken hear beat relationship and everything was restored to pormal in days without delay
+=2=3=4=8=0=7=0=7=6=8=9=9=2.
If you are not ready COOL but don't expect that person to wait around and keeps contact as friends either. because I'll just block and move on..what they not finna do is play someone's heart and making them as an option. If you deserve and won't settle for less, do your own self a favor is making yourself a priority, because waiting around will hurt you in the long run and will make yourself hard to let that person go.. ❤
This happened to me recently and I want to say this video has completely sorted me out mentally. Exactly what I needed to hear and I'm lucky to have heard it so soon after the event. Thank you Ashley! Love from the UK :)
I've seen many videos on this subject and can honestly say yours is one of the best out there, and most honest. In my case, even though I knew she was rebounding, I just decided to go on some dates since it was the height of the pandemic and there was nothing to do. But I started catching feelings, things just seemed to flow so effortlessly, we had a lot in common, and she suddenly started pulling away after almost 3 months. She then delivered this line when I asked if there was something wrong. I feel really frustrated, because I knew all along it was going to happen and still carried on with it, and now it has really hit my self-worth and self-esteem, like I'm not good enough, because she was so interesting and I hadn't experienced anything like this for years..
You're 100% right.. I've just been through this with a woman I have been friends with for 15 years, we reconnected again recently and it was incredible, but sadly she wasn't ready for anything committed. She was very honest about it and I understand it. It's never a situation you can change, and they deserve to be happy within themselves. Wish them well, appreciate the time you shared and carry on living your best life with 0 resentment towards them.
Your channel is literally a gift from the universe
When someone tells you they’re not ready for a relationship or anything that serious but not long after they’re in a relationship with someone else.
Exactly
thank you so much for this, really struggling rn bc i thought i had met someone i saw myself growing old with but he wasn’t ready… i’m glad i loved myself enough to end it before i got my feelings hurt even more. your videos have been such a huge help, bless you
Thanks. Just been through this. Was pursued, then told they weren't ready!! I felt sick, so thank you x
Loved this video! Every single one seems to come out right in time when i need to hear it!
I’m so happy you enjoyed this one and that it came at the right time for you! Thanks for watching lovely 🥰😘
Thank you for being brave in sharing your experience!
Thank you. Truth hurts but I responded almost exactly how you stated, with warmth but confidence. I know my worth. Went salsa dancing and will focus on myself
Hello Ashley,
I wanted to let you know that you have inspired me to write a letter to myself after watching your last video. You have taught me so much about self love. Additionally, I have started to help others by sharing your knowledge and information. You have helped me so much since I have discovered your channel. Thank you so much for being an amazing and inspiring person.
- one of your biggest fans, Marta.
Aww Marta this is such a heartwarming comment! Thank you so much for sharing your journey with me! I’m so humbled to know that you’ve found my content so meaningful and that it’s inspired you to explore your inner world and connect with yourself more deeply. This is wonderful to hear and I’m very, very proud of you. I hope you’re proud of yourself too ❤️ this type of work that you’re doing is so valuable and important.
Everything I needed to hear right now. Thank you.
I loved this video so much. Especially that last quote. It felt like you were in my room talking directly to me. I recently caught feelings for a guy and took the advice to ask what he was looking for early on. After getting an answer I didn't like I searched for a video similar to your title and was so glad I found what I was looking for.
I’m so happy it resonated with you! This is such a tricky situation that so many of us find ourselves in during our pursuit of love. I think it’s fantastic you were so authentic and and transparent early on when it came to asking what this other person was looking for. Well done! 👊🏼👊🏼
You're so wholesome! Thank you so much for your videos. I'm healing from a heartbreak and your videos have helped me a lot.
Aww thank you so much for such lovely feedback, it means a lot to me ❤️🙏🏼 I’m so happy my content resonates with you!
I wish I watched this along time ago, you are so right. This gave me a completely different perspective.
I’m so happy it resonated with you! ❤️❤️
Speak on it Ash! Whew! My Lawd, My Lawd! If I would have had this video at my disposal 10 years ago it would of saved me a lot of time, heartache, and pain!
I always love reading your comments! 😊 you and I BOTH! I wish I had had this video 10 years ago too 🤣❤️
this is great advice, I love this. Everything this woman is saying is pure wisdom, listen to her, don't listen to people assuming things, what she is saying is based on facts
This needs to be spread more! Dated a girl I knew for a while for 9 months and we did everything you would in a relationship. I finally asked her if she wanted to be in a relationship and her response was "um I'm not ready for a relationship but we can be exclusive, it's not like I'm gunna meet anyone anytime soon" confused me so much that I had to take a step back and gave her space to finger out what she wanted, she hated that. Was just being used for boredom during the pandemic. As much as it hurts I'm glad I didn't wait longer as she didn't want to make it work. Know your self worth as someone who genuinely likes you will want to commit.
I’m so sorry this happened to you! But I completely agree with you - I don’t agree with waiting around for someone to decide they want you either! We deserve to be chosen by someone who is excited about us, not someone who is still looking to see what other options come around 🙄
This guy I’m seeing told me he’s not ready for a relationship but then he started pursuing me months later eventhough he knew I want a relationship. We have been exclusively seeing eachother for 5-6 months and he tells me stuff like “please be patient with me.” Or “I don’t know if I want a relationship or if I don’t want a relationship but if I did you would be the person I’d want to be with.” We hardly text or talk and we see eachother every 2-4 weeks because we both have kids and our schedules don’t always match up well. I think he wants to be in a relationship but he’s afraid of getting hurt again. I just don’t know how to make him realize that I won’t break his heart. I am such a dedicated partner and I have been the one who gets abandoned too, I want to help him see that real love does exist and there are women out there who won’t give up on their partner even if he does work a lot.
This is an amazing message. Thank You.
i was listening to you hours ago... and 100% agree with you..
Loud and clear :) thx for sharing 😍
Omg your cat is having the sleep of a lifetime 😂 I wanna sleep like this every night 🙋♀️😻
I look at you Ashley and see a beautiful intelligent young women whom any man would be lucky to even have the chance to be with you. It gives me hope that maybe there was indeed nothing wrong with me either. Thank you x
Aww this is so so sweet! Thank you so much ☺️ I’ll be sure to tell my fiancé that he’s a lucky guy haha! 😉
There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you and I’m so happy my video has encouraged you to feel that way about yourself too. You’re whole, worthy and ENOUGH exactly as you are right now.
🦋 wow I loved your message and your expressions beautiful :-) I can so relate to being involved in so many different aspects of his life and assigning my own meanings and thinking if I just continue to give him the space he needs he will heal and figure it out and I will be the one but when I would ask the question he would have all these excuses of why he wasn't ready to commit &says he's trying to figure it out.
And while I don't doubt that there's a connection and deep love between us I'm realizing that it's time for me to stand in my divine feminine energy integrity and self respect for my self and accept things as they are....💐
I am your big fan now. Love you all video. Your word have taught me a lot. Thank you so much🙏
Yay! I’m so happy to hear you enjoy my content. Thank you so much for watching and for the support ❤️🥰
Thank you so much for this great video, it helps a lot
Well said. Exact situation i bad this week. Had to ket her go and move on. You said word for word everything that happened
Yes, keep it moving.
Don't be resentful, wish them well and move on. Don't get in the friendzone if you want more than that. Respect yourself and have boundaries. Mostly staying around is because we are anxious and or we are thinking of what a relationship 'could be' with this person. Detachment from outcomes and living your own best life will show you you don't 'need' a relationship with someone to be happy.
Keep making videos. This one helped me.
I’m so happy it helped you! ❤️😊
Great video, thank you 🙏
All facts ! 💕
Thank you so much for making this video 💙 it really helped me realize some things.
You’re so welcome!! Thank you for watching, so happy it was helpful ☺️❤️
Good lord this really hits me hard. I currently find myself in this situation with my girlfriend. I don’t want to let her go for all the reasons you mentioned. Deep down I know nothing will change if I stay and I’ll end up losing myself in the process i I feel so much pain right now 😔
At the end of the day this is where self worth is really important to have so that way you’re not putting yourself in these kind of scenarios. Think about it, what makes their time more important than the others time? I think that if a person subjects themselves to this stuff they clearly need to assess themselves and ask so they really love this person or are they just infatuated. It’s usually infatuation because love can also set boundaries to, one of which is respecting others free will.
If a person is telling you to wait on them then that’s a red flag. Look at it like this, that time “waiting” is time you will never ever get back. When it’s gone it’s gone forever. Do you want to grow old and say you regret wasting your best years or do you want to look back and say while the separation hurt you survived and found someone that valued you and your time? I’d rather have the latter.
You do not owe that other person your time and your youth. Do not sell yourself short and suffer in regret. I’ve seen quite a few old people who do that. You only live once and it’s a rap. Do what you feel but make a wise choice and look at things objectively. God bless and peace.
Great video! Thanks Ashley. How are you doing since coming back to the US?
I needed to hear this. I was dating this girl who got out of a long relationship less than a year ago and then she went on a rebound with a guy where she got badly hurt. She seems obsessed with me at times and says she has feelings but told me the other day that she isn’t ready for a relationship. So I told her then that I can’t see her anymore for a while and that maybe we could be friends one day in the future. She then kept saying she would like to be together one day in the future when she’s ready but I dunno just seems like a red flag to me.
Maybe it's just how she is, bpd or something
I act really weird often but actually very mature emotionally. Although it doesn't mean that you should get back with her; If it doesn't feel right then probably she just isn't the one for you.
the first clip of the video is just yes.
Truth hurts! I'm dealing with this very thing and I'm making this mistake of sticking around thinking things will change..
So true. She is also getting prettier with each video. 🙂
Damn, these were some hard truths, but I feel much more clear abt what I had initially perceived as complicated.
I absolutely loved this video. My ex boyfriend was actually the one who asked me to become official and he actually told me he loved me first. After three months of officially dating and one month when we couldn't see each other he told me he is not ready for a relationship. What could this mean? I am sorry for my english, I'm from Italy ❤️
I’m so happy you enjoyed it! But I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through this. It could mean a variety of things, and it’s impossible for me to know what your ex boyfriend’s individual reasons are. It’s possible that he simply had a change of heart and it took being in the relationship for him to realise he wasn’t emotionally prepared.
Thank you.
Damn hard truth I’m literally going through this now and so confused she said she is not ready for a relationship and to give her time
I’m so sorry you’re going through this 😩 it’s such a tough spot to be in.
She is correct, please believe them and let it go. In my case this guy was the one that wanted take me out. After spending some time together (never slept together), I asked him "what were we?". He wanted to "go with the flow" of things but wasn't that ready. But initially he made all these promises that we could work towards being a couple. He became distant and "ghosted". I let it go and tried my best to heal from this. After a few months of not talking, I found out he committed to someone else only for it to end after 4-5 months. He recently contacted me trying to get me back and lied saying he stopped talking because for the past 8 months he was busy with school and work, but I declined because its not genuine and I'm never a 2nd choice. He wanted a relationship, just not with me and that's fine. I'm a believer and have been blessed in so many other ways by God and Jesus!
I've been there several times and I would always feel unworthy. Then I'll back up on my feet, find another one, but with another issue 😂
That's why I'm going to therapy, I guess it's more deeper. I attract who I think I deserve.
Which the last one was someone that always told me that was emotionally unavailable, never been in a relationship, so i guess I took as a "challange", "I'll be your first".
But i guess, we were on totally different emotional levels and I've been dragged till my deepest and felt so useless. But the work, as you say, comes from the within.
Folks, never beg for love, attention, surprises, time.
This is how I got away from it. When i finally realized "wait. Am I really begging this person for LOVE and Attention????" i quit.
It's not easy because your mind will be always like "omg I'll never find someone this great" well, my answer to that will now finally be "start from finding yourself greatness"!!!! ❤️💯
“I attract who I think I deserve.” What a powerful, important, wise insight! Recognizing this is so so valuable. I’m so happy to hear you’ve taken the initiative to explore this in therapy. THAT in itself is an act of self love!
Amen - never beg for love, attention or validation. Couldn’t agree more 👏🏼❤️
@@AshleyNord thank you!!! I always looking forward to ur videos 😍🙏
Thank you
Just had this done to me 2 weeks ago. He was not ready for a relationship. His x was really toxic etc...but she was 18 months ago🙄 so I said I better carry on dating then. As I want to be happy. I want a relationship and love in my life...its not fair to date someone knowing your not wanting anything serious with them.
yeah, if they can't be ready the first time in not taking them on the second time. chances are they need and want you when you dont want them but when you do, they will just repeat their behavior. just move on and dont look back. they arent the one and thats perfectly ok
She told me she is not ready for a relationship, but she is really attracted to me and likes the physical. It's confusing because there is a hope she will fall in love and change her mind. Its hard to walk away.
How do I move on from someone I love when they say they're not ready now (because they need to work on themselves), but in the future they want to try? My ex says he cares deeply for me and wants very badly to be the one for me, but that he has a lot of things to work on for himself (anxiety and depression). He feels that he cant focus on himself getting better and have a serious relationship at the same time. Logically I know that I need to move on and not live my life based on the hope that we MIGHT be together in the future, but I'm having trouble getting my emotions on the same page. He broke up with me 4 days ago so it's still really fresh but the pain is honestly so hard to take. The hole in my heart, the pit in my stomach. I find myself hoping that it's right person wrong time but I know that's not healthy or conducive to moving on. I'm trying to stay busy and distract myself but we work together and that makes it really hard on me. Just seeing his car in the parking lot can make me cry. I dont know how to go about getting better mentally and emotionally.
how are you doing now, 2 years later? Everything ok?
I had it happen to my by a girl I've been seeing and went on weekend away together we had a laugh met her son and everything talked about the future and what we both would want from a relationship and then out of no where just a message to say that she wants a break and she doesn't know what she wants and stopped replying to my messages and I'm like we have met up and spent time together and it feels like it was for nothing. It's true what they say no body goes through more shit on life than someone who has a good heart.
I'm going through this right now with a guy who was my friend. What's worse is that all the excuses he's been using on me, we'd talked about scenarios of him with other people where he used them. That hurt coz I thought as friends he'd be more straightforward with me.
When a girl says “I don’t want a relationship” it’s usually just not with YOU. They just ain’t into you, move on
facts!!!
Currently suffering massive heartbreak and really need help.
If a guy says he doesn't want a relationship he doesn't, or he doesn't want it with you. if he dates you or sleeps with you, doesn't mean he wants a relationship. just means your awesome to be around or your hot, or great sex but life goals could be different. Maybe they plan on moving and don't want to start a committed relationship. just look at it like this.... he is being completely honest with you, he could have lied and led you on and waste your time. if you click you can be FWB and date or chill. just be open and honest about being with other partners or monogamous FWB. no one wants to get STD's so be adults and let each other know 100 % honesty and get tested if yall sleeping around.
also, why would you ever want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you. dont be weak and needy. just say oh thanks for being honest.
Ashley i want your cat. so cute.
SO many valid points here! I totally agree - we need to believe someone when they tell us they are not ready for a relationship. Not wait around in the hopes that they will change etc. If we want more from someone (as in, if we want a relationship) and the other person has made it clear they are not prepared to give that to us, then we need to have enough self respect to walk away!
Awww isn’t he the CUTEST! He’s such a sweet boy. His name is Radley but we all just call him Mouse 🥰
I was seeing this girl to meet up as friends and we hit it off and we’re really into what we had to say and wanted to hangout all the time. We talked at bars until they closed and kept talking in their car after the bar closed.
We always gave each other “the eyes” and looked down d giggled after a few long seconds of eye contact.
We kept that up for weeks until I kissed them.
We hung out the next time and they told me they werent ready for a relationship and now we’re basically friends
I have a hard time with my own self image so I keep blaming myself thinking I’m too ugly.
I just want to know what happened. I cant stop thinking about them and the situation
How do you overcome the fear or disbelief of never being able to find someone as good or better? I feel like my ex was a miracle 💎✨
that line hurt so bad. me and this girl had been talking for 2 weeks and i really fell in love with her for the time i talked to her. i mean i’ve never ever felt like this about someone. we would always tell each other how cute we are and what we loved about each other. it was honestly amazing. then we decided to hang out for the first time and it went pretty smooth besides we were both kinda shy but it was okay. a few hours after we hung out when we were texting she sent a paragraph about how she wasn’t ready for a relationship and how it was all too much for her right now. ahhh it hurts so bad i want to cry but it’s important to note she had recently been in a relationship and a lot of stressful things were going on in her life. at the time she said this, i didn’t understand and i was shocked and so confused. now i understand i’m just hoping we can get back in the future :(
edit: i also want to say that i asked if she wanted anything in the future with me possibly and i understood if she didn’t and she said she really doesn’t know and she liked me so much but it’s all too much. is that a bad sign? was i moving to fast? ahhh i want to cry.
I am in the same spot as you, hope we find the way to be with the girl we love, but just pacience and let her space
As a woman trust me when I tell you this, she was not as into you and she may have thought. I know it sucks to hear but hopefully will allow you to move forward more easily.
Actions are also loud and clear
What about when she’s acting like she wants a relationship in every way but says she isn’t ready? She seems genuinely confused and wants to do all the relationship stuff with me but she’s afraid of the “title” that comes with it, she feels like she can’t live up to the title of girlfriend because she doesn’t bring enough to the table but I try to let her know that what she DOES bring is enough, (we’ve only been talking for about a month or so and are planning to meet for the first time in person in a few weeks) we agreed to just spend time with each other and see where it goes which is practically dating...but is this the right move or should I move on?
This is such a great question! Very interesting scenario. I think you need to believe people when they tell you where they are at. I feel like this was a similar situation between me and my ex. He told he wasn’t ready, yet I stayed involved because he treated me like his girlfriend in every way. But ultimately, we were not on the same page and he TOLD me that. The label DID matter to me, I wanted someone who was excited to call me their girlfriend/partner. And that wasn’t him! So I think you need to ask yourself here what is important to you - are you TRULY okay simply playing it by ear with someone who isn’t convinced if they actually want to be with you? The fact that you’re here, commenting this, indicates to me that you’re not totally okay with it. And that the label and commitment matters to you too! And I don’t think that’s something you should have to compromise on ❤️
I was in a relationship with my ex and almost 4 years into the relationship they tell me they want a break and don't want to put a label on the relationship and that they would let me know when they were ready to ask me out again. We had also just been living together for 4 months
I broke up with a girl 3 years ago with this "line". We dated for 3 months and I had just gotten out of the military. Full of anger, hatred and anxiety above levels you could imagine. Nonetheless, she was head over heels for me. I broke it off to save her more hurt if I let the relationship go any longer. She didn't believe my reason. I hit rock bottom after our breakup, went to the hospital, dropped out of college, packed up and moved home, picked up landscaping then I got my big career break. Got into the VA, moved to another country, bought a boat then the pandemic hit. Moved back home again and now just started school in her area. 3 years later and Im ready. Went to her parents house to find out she's living half at her new boyfriend's house. I wouldn't change anything and don't apologize but it's a hard pill to swallow.
Why did you expect her to wait on you? I’d say the young lady was smart. Life lesson my brotha 🤷
So confused after a 3 month relationship😂. This was within 1.5 weeks. She told me she really likes me and sees a future/long term relationship, plus she wanted me to invite my sister to an event with us. Then we both got sick and didnt see each other for 1.5 weeks and she ended up texting me that she is going through a lot of stuff and is realizing that she isnt ready for a long term relationship/commitment
That's why I enjoy being single and dating no one
I hear you!! Definitely no harm in being single 😊
My ex would take me on dates and act like we were together and then 2 months later
Told me he didn’t want a relationship he wasn’t ready but that he still loved me the same that really confuses me
I wish I could change myself into someone who’s also just looking for a fun friend with benefits
To anyone who has been in a similar situation as mine could I grab some advice? I am in this situation at the moment, and it's difficult to say because after I asked them out they said that they "find me really attractive and that they really like me and really love talking to me." But they "don't think they are in the right place at the moment to be in a relationship right now and that its nothing against me but that it wouldn't be fair on me since they don't think they are ready" Those were essentially the exact words that were said. I might pop this into other comment sections to grab advice all over but a simple rundown is they were recently in a 2-year relationship that was apparently abusive, I met them at work a few months ago and recently I'd say for the past month at most we have been talking pretty much daily. They have other things like work and college that basically give them little to no free time whatsoever, so they're deffo very busy too.
So my question is this. Yes, I am happy to continue chatting and calling etc like we have since the "start" and for lack of a better word yes I am happy to wait. However, my question is to anyone out there reading this. Do you think id be waiting for something that's never going to happen or do you think that maybe there is something mutual there and that now might not be the best time? I did recently move back home because they live in the city my uni is at too, so perhaps things could be different when I'm back but who knows.
Well she told me that she isnt ready for a relationship mostly because of school and work , which is OKAY we are in the same grade and yea I can understand its tough to manage everything so I just simply texted back - Hey , its cool, I get it and thanks for letting me know " . I mean , what else could I have said .. it hurts me cause I had this gut feeling that this is the right gurl but anyways .. IT IS WHAT IT IS
They talk like they're speaking to you because you know that I have a few issues in my life
Some people comment below the wrong ways without having a conversation without having anything but words they say and the words they say go right toward what you think the other person is saying to you but in reality there's a hundred thousand other people thinking the same thing who is right and who is wrong
New sub here... Hope your channel grows into a big one ❤️🤗 I have a small request... Going through a breakup...unfollowed her on social media... But we have many mutual friends... So I hear things from them... How can be happy and move on when you know your ex is dating someone else and isn't giving a f about what they've done...
Love you ❤️
Hello! Welcome!! 🥰 that’s so lovely, thanks for the well wishes!
I’ve actually covered these topics a few times in some of my previous break-up related videos. I would recommend checking out my breakup playlist because it’s full of videos about healing when our ex’s are within someone else! ❤️
@@AshleyNord awww thanks
This woman knows what she's talking about that's for damn sure.
Aw I’m flattered! And humbled you think so 😌 thank you!
@@AshleyNord 👍
What if she recently got out of a relationship, had feelings for me, still continued seeing each other to a deep level of intimacy then one day ghosts you for a bit, go up to her cuz you wanna know what happened, says she’s not emotionally ready for a relationship and that she’s done with me as well because she doesn’t want to continue giving me false hope. I’m going a little crazy on depression cuz why lead me on then?
I have been seeing this for a long time for alot of woman but what does it mean when they say there not freaky are they capping like how i thinking rn or are they fr about that shit? 😂 this shit confusing man i need someone to explain and answer this for me
Tx u😢😢😢
I dont know what to do in my situation, me and this girl have been talking for a while and we both like each other and have expressed our feelings for each other but when I asked her if she was ready to be in an actual relationship she told me that she didn't know if she was ready yet. idk what to do because we aren't in the friend zone we are more than that, but we aren't official. she doesn't know If she is ready to date she told me. I really like her and I want to but idk what to do.
Don't give up on life and the universe I know of a great man who helped you me fix my broken hear beat relationship and everything was restored to pormal in days without delay
+=2=3=4=8=0=7=0=7=6=8=9=9=2.
I said this to a girl once. I genuinely wasnt ready for a relationship. I had just gotten out of what i hadnt realised was a toxic and forced relationship and wasnt over the guy at all. It was a week after he broke up w me and i got with her on a limb bc i missed being loved. Idrk it was a dumb choice.
what if me and him have dated and recently broke up a few months ago and are doing casual meetups? He said he isn't ready for a relationship, but he said maybe he will catch feelings or maybe he won't. I'm okay with doing casual meet ups, but I want us to get back together eventually. Should I leave?
What a great question! I’ve definitely been in this position. And as you said yourself, your ultimate intent is to get back together. Him saying, “maybe it will, maybe it won’t” tells me that you are in fact not on the same page. You know what you would ultimately like out of these casual meet-ups, whereas he is leaving things up to chance. I think you deserve far more than someone who isn’t making you a priority and is happy to either take you or leave you.
@@AshleyNord thank you so much! I'm trying my best to let go. I still love him but I know our relationship is dead :(
I think its valid if they say it right when they meet you 1st time tho...
This video quickly went from "avoid someone whose not ready for a relationship", to "that's exactly how I got my boyfriend!"
Right
Sounds like you’ve greatly misunderstood the messaging in this one ☺️ that wasn’t how I “got” my partner. I was simply emphasizing the fact that it comes down to willingness/readiness to do the work with someone. And I ultimately decided that I was ready/willing at that time. So, ultimately, my point was here that not being “ready” for a relationship often has much more to do with us than it does the other person.
I need help.........So there's this girl I have been talking to for about 6 months and things were going great. I recently confessed my feelings for her and she told me that she does like me too and that I mean a lot to her, but at the moment she isn't ready for a relationship. She told me it was because of all the mental health problems and past trauma with an ex who treated her horrendously. She also told me that a relationship needs to be healthy if it is to last long, and that all these problems would interfere and make it a weak relationship. Another reason she said that is because she doesn't want me to put up with all that shit too. What do I do?? And is there light at the end of the tunnel where I could end up with her?
I'm legit in the same situation and I'm just as confused as you. I think just accepting that they don't want a relationship is best.
@@kyraungvarsky2386 Ikr. But every time I try and move on, she pops back up and asks how I am going.....Idk but I trust that she's telling the truth because she's done so much for me, that someone who wouldn't like me wouldn't do. Like if someone doesn't like you, they wouldn't keep checking up on u and seeing how u are yk what i mean? Idk thats just me tho :(
It just means they don’t want one with you. Plain and simple kings
How do you leave a good relationship you been in and invested in for 3 years and have our own place ! Honestly I’m not happy anymore I got problems of my own I’m dealing with and I just wanna be alone. I don’t want to hurt my partner or make her feel it’s her when it’s me. I feel like ima feel really bad and I can’t go thru with the breakup because we do have a apartment together she’s gonna have to figure rent out on her own but I just want be alone focus on my self. She’s a great woman cares a lot for me takes care of the house hold, big heart but her energy and attitude is getting too me I’m not happy anymore. Hope you make a video !
Thanks so much for sharing your situation with me and I’m sorry to hear that you’re struggling. At the end of the day, if you’re confident that being alone is what you need at this point in your life, you have to do what’s right for you. It will absolutely hurt your partner and unfortunately there’s no way to avoid that. It will undoubtedly be hard on both of you.
My only precaution is making SURE that this is in fact what you want/need, and that the internal work you need to do can’t be done within your relationship. Because once you end things, it will likely be difficult to come back from that. I always caution people making permanent decisions based on temporary emotions. It sounds like you have a wonderful woman by your side and it would be a shame to lose her. Your journey to reconnect with yourself doesn’t “have” to be done alone, but of course that’s a choice you’re welcome to make.
I would let your partner know as soon as possible how you’re feeling. You don’t have to “breakup” right then and there, but I think it’s only fair that you tell her where your head and heart is at.
You’ve given me an excellent topic suggestion here so I think I just might need to make it this week’s video! Stay tuned 😊
@@AshleyNord thank you so much il be looking out ❤️
I haven't seen this person or talked to them in 2 years they be stalking me
This just happened to me lol.. I feel so ridiculous for ignoring the obvious red flag of I'm not ready for a relationship. I'm like nah, you just been with shitty ass dudes I can change that. Long story short.... I didn't, I couldn't, and don't get involved with people at work because you got to deal with them when its over. Lesson learned.
Not just foe womn. Its advuce for men to for anybody actually
6:30
you have beautiful eyes
They can't settle with her? I would have long time ago. This is a war between players who have high body count and have too many options. Why else someone would say I don't want a gf label? Player.
what it means is they are ready they just dont want a relationship with..you
🏃♀️ 🏃🏻♂️ 🏃
Beware narcissists who simply enjoy your attention to feed their insatiable ego.
As another tactic they use when you mention that you are interested in them romantically is ‘let’s be friends first’, to further string you along and to offer you hope when you know in your heart and feel in your gut you are being played.
I feel like I was punched in the face but in a good way. Thank you.
Haha! I’m happy it was a good punch 😆❤️ you’re very welcome!