Designing the Mike Sparks of the Future

Поділитися
Вставка
  • Опубліковано 6 лют 2025
  • In this Episode, Pig and Falcon get transported to an alternate reality where Mike Sparks is the President, and using only ideas he approves of we must design the new Infantry Fighting vehicle for the modern age.
    Welcome to our hell.
    =============================================
    Falcons Channel: / @fightertales
    Merch: nafo-ofan.org/....
    Twitter: / piglazer
    Patreon Link: / lazerpig
    Falcons Patreon: / fightertales
    Discord Link: / discord
    =============================================
    Art by Falcon

КОМЕНТАРІ • 2,2 тис.

  • @fightertales
    @fightertales Рік тому +3951

    I am so glad I've gotten a better mic since we've recorded this

    • @AnimarchyHistory
      @AnimarchyHistory Рік тому +279

      We all need to do a sequel and build the worlds worst air force.

    • @zefflin1451
      @zefflin1451 Рік тому +46

      I'd love if you guys did a competition against each other where you'd all design the worst possible Tank/Plane (any type) /Ship and then compare them to see which one could be the best worst design ever.

    • @erkripscorn
      @erkripscorn Рік тому +1

      ​@@zefflin1451I'd buy that for a dollar! Seriously, that would be super entertaining!

    • @TheEDFLegacy
      @TheEDFLegacy Рік тому +3

      ​@@AnimarchyHistoryThe Mike Sparks air force?

    • @electricangel4488
      @electricangel4488 Рік тому +3

      i am so glad you recorded this

  • @Omegan01
    @Omegan01 Рік тому +1855

    This is the design process for every Warhammer 40,000 vehicle.

    • @p_serdiuk
      @p_serdiuk Рік тому +200

      NOT ENOUGH CHURCHES

    • @moekitsune
      @moekitsune Рік тому +56

      The vehicle design is the reason I really dislike 40k. That and a lot of the fans are insufferable

    • @Erakius323
      @Erakius323 Рік тому +87

      @@moekitsuneWhat’s wrong with the vehicle design? Edit: Took me 4 attempts to get the spelling for vehicle right. Jesus Christ. Spelling ability of a baked potato.

    • @SenseiLlama
      @SenseiLlama Рік тому +100

      OK, that's unfair even for 40k.
      At least they have "space armor" to explain some of the bs.
      Although the rivets give me nightmares.

    • @moekitsune
      @moekitsune Рік тому +29

      @@Erakius323 it's really just the aesthetic I don't like. I know in the lore it probably makes sense but I'm a fan of more modern looking MBTs.
      Also don't worry about the spelling happens to me all the time

  • @VerbuggterHerrderDunkelheit
    @VerbuggterHerrderDunkelheit Рік тому +807

    0:21 I can't believe that's the first time Lazerpig shoots lazers outside of thumbnails

    • @ozAqVvhhNue
      @ozAqVvhhNue Рік тому +50

      The internet historian intro was amazing, but the lazers out of the pigs eyes was the crown on top of it :D

    • @thefoolsjourney6885
      @thefoolsjourney6885 Рік тому +4

      More like Einstein was the Mike Sparks of his time.

    • @amusingmoose9924
      @amusingmoose9924 3 місяці тому

      About time.

  • @massivepileup
    @massivepileup Рік тому +898

    The Reformers seem like the WW1/2 generals who judged infantry rifles by their ability to hit a target at 800m.

    • @samhansen9771
      @samhansen9771 Рік тому +42

      ​@@b.w.22In that case, I have a flying Gavin to sell you

    • @b.w.22
      @b.w.22 Рік тому +4

      @@samhansen9771 ;)

    • @MostlyPennyCat
      @MostlyPennyCat Рік тому +7

      ​@@b.w.22
      And if you do need to switch to the plastic gun, there will be plenty of them lying on the ground...

    • @noisepuppet
      @noisepuppet Рік тому +36

      I read that as "World War Half," which should be a thing

    • @b.w.22
      @b.w.22 Рік тому +26

      @@noisepuppet - Perhaps WW-Half would be the Franco-Prussian War?

  • @kevintoy7710
    @kevintoy7710 Рік тому +309

    When finished, this will be the best Space Marine vehicle ever.

    • @judeblack4360
      @judeblack4360 Рік тому +61

      Ah yes, the Sparks Razorback. They made a dozen before they realized that the techpriest who made it was actually an ork Mekboy covered in red paint, while the supposed STC was just a piece of cardboard covered in water stains that looked vaguely like a tank. The Mechanicus dumped all 12 Sparks Razorbacks onto the Marines Malevolent chapter in the hopes that it might take its passengers with it when it was destroyed. However, the tanks have led the Marines Malevolent to unprecedented victories, as the enemies of the God-Emperor suffer seizure-inducing fits of laughter when they lay eyes upon the infernal contraptions.

    • @Haispawner
      @Haispawner Рік тому +18

      ​@@judeblack4360Just wait until we get the Chaos edition full of spikes and chains.

  • @emielpeper9248
    @emielpeper9248 Рік тому +1705

    Still hoping and occasionally praying for a LazerPig sit down with Mike Sparks, discussing things they agree on before getting to Sparks having to defend his insane designs

    • @F4Wildcat
      @F4Wildcat Рік тому +125

      and then blacktail enters the room and EVERYONE became uncomfortable!

    • @jefferynelson
      @jefferynelson Рік тому +24

      I'm still hoping for a Lazer Pig shuffle dancing video

    • @disgruntledtaco3640
      @disgruntledtaco3640 Рік тому

      START THE GOFUNDME

    • @killerflamingo9566
      @killerflamingo9566 Рік тому +31

      I still wanna see laser pigs drag persona

    • @ianduarte1992
      @ianduarte1992 Рік тому

      ​@@F4Wildcathe must be wearing his likely unwashed, cumstained, piss smelling fursuit, and never acknowlege it.

  • @zenithstudio6819
    @zenithstudio6819 Рік тому +2060

    "We are the smartest people on the planet" not really hard if Mike sparks is the president 😂

    • @Jartran72
      @Jartran72 Рік тому

      Sorry but that is now it works. Welther you like him or not, Donald Trump was the president in our timelime and dimension here and he is objectively not very smart. And that had no influence on weither lazerpig and other youtuber were the smartest people on earth. The presidents are usually not that smart and the smartest people have no ambition of becoming politicians, that would be a waste of their potential.

    • @naamadossantossilva4736
      @naamadossantossilva4736 Рік тому

      Joe Biden is president and he is as dumb as Sparky.

    • @dodgedaytona7435
      @dodgedaytona7435 Рік тому +29

      You do know Woodrow Wilson was at one point right.

    • @seaofenergy2765
      @seaofenergy2765 Рік тому +34

      I mean Trump exists

    • @maozedong9145
      @maozedong9145 Рік тому +5

      @@dodgedaytona7435bro you must eat lead rocks for fun, they are incomparable.

  • @AnimarchyHistory
    @AnimarchyHistory Рік тому +536

    LONG LIVE THE REFORMERS! thispostauthorizedbytheanticorruptionandmilitaryefficiencycollectiveanydeviationfromwhichresultinginsummaryexecution

    • @Cobra-King3
      @Cobra-King3 Рік тому

      Blink twice if you need help, blink 3 times if you got the keys to Gonzalo Lira's Cell, so we can torture him

    • @marcogenovesi8570
      @marcogenovesi8570 Рік тому +25

      NAFO UBER ALLES

    • @A_Haunted_Pancake
      @A_Haunted_Pancake Рік тому

      Death to the greedy, inefficient, nepotistic madness of the Elite Generals,
      hail to our even more greedy, inefficient, nepotistic madness !

    • @chrisriverata1917
      @chrisriverata1917 Рік тому +2

      Yeah, I'm apart of theanticorruptionandmilitaryefficiencycollectiveanydeviationfromwhichresultinginsummaryexecution gang what about it?

  • @Fimbulvinter19
    @Fimbulvinter19 Рік тому +326

    A double sized Gavin with showers, vending machines, stripper poles, retractable road wheels, can turn into an aircraft and dogfight and win against the best of the Su and MiG line fighters without the need for fancy radar systems. Truly, you are blessed with the genius of Mike Sparks.

    • @GraingyAircraft
      @GraingyAircraft Рік тому +8

      Noncredibility is one hell of a drug

    • @swj719
      @swj719 Рік тому +1

      I'm getting big MASC vibes.

    • @sdoo-ou2ni
      @sdoo-ou2ni 11 місяців тому

      add a fracking nuclear reactor

  • @Jerorawr_XD
    @Jerorawr_XD Рік тому +250

    The idea of a supersonic, dogfighting apc in the heat of combat with a MIG while 2 dudes inside are showering in a bag, two guys are shooting small arms through port holes, and a stripper is twerking, is the most hilarious imagery 🤣

    • @lostalone9320
      @lostalone9320 11 місяців тому +6

      The Horror 🤣

    • @tomarmadiyer2698
      @tomarmadiyer2698 11 місяців тому +9

      *hears C&C music*

    • @NotAGepard
      @NotAGepard 10 місяців тому +2

      The ULTIMATE AND SUPREME POWER that only the one and only MIKE SPARKS can think of.

    • @SymbioteMullet
      @SymbioteMullet 7 місяців тому +6

      That sounds like a mission in Saints Row 3...

  • @Jetiko27
    @Jetiko27 Рік тому +805

    Okay, Mike, so how about a tank... that propells itself... with the gun.

    • @clem-lv2rw
      @clem-lv2rw Рік тому +56

      rocket jumping tanks!
      BRILLIANT!

    • @matthewarnold4557
      @matthewarnold4557 Рік тому +29

      Hell yeah, GTA logic

    • @FokkerBoombass
      @FokkerBoombass Рік тому +11

      GTA 3 did this already.

    • @Ralnon
      @Ralnon Рік тому +11

      And the A-Team with “flying” tank raises its thrice cursed head 🎉😂

    • @joshuahadams
      @joshuahadams Рік тому +2

      @@wombatgirl997I can see that working if you get her in neutral and have like an Oerlikon or something. Probably wouldn’t go very fast, but it’d probably work.

  • @Buzzdog1971
    @Buzzdog1971 Рік тому +690

    Fun fact kids, the majority of military vehicles widths are capped in order to be transported via rail through tunnels.

    • @NigelTolley
      @NigelTolley Рік тому +87

      Shipping containers! Palletised for delivery. It all chases back to the width of hours in Rome, when they were building the first tunnels for two horses pulling a chariot or cart!

    • @rtwfreak2012
      @rtwfreak2012 Рік тому +43

      Yeah, but that is only because they can't fly.... Yet.

    • @G4rr0.
      @G4rr0. Рік тому +57

      So it either needs to be flat packed, or have a drill on the front to cut its own tunnel. That's for the Mike Sparks V1.1 upgrade kit

    • @ludditeneaderthal
      @ludditeneaderthal Рік тому +12

      COMMIE PROPAGANDA PURE AND SIMPLE!!

    • @rogerhill1030
      @rogerhill1030 Рік тому +15

      That's why our vehicles will have drills on the front!
      PROBLEM SOLVED, YA WELCOME.

  • @TheIMadManI
    @TheIMadManI Рік тому +809

    Fun fact: the term "Spark of Genius" was actually created because of Mr. Micheal Sparks himself. Truly the Einstein of our time.

    • @thecursed01
      @thecursed01 Рік тому +4

      Typo. In this case, it's Spark off genius. ...way off... XD

    • @mastererik323
      @mastererik323 Рік тому +7

      I read that as "Truly the Epstein of our time." hahaha wtf was I thinking xD

    • @mitchellmccallum9778
      @mitchellmccallum9778 Рік тому

      Fun fact: Gonzalo Lira is a sleazebag grifter that used to go by the name "coach Redpill" til he realized his stupid monicker was causing people to take him less seriously. Presently he Kremlin posts inside Ukraine and is pretending to be kidnapped to be taken seriously.

    • @aznluvr7
      @aznluvr7 Рік тому +1

      That's Dr. Sparks to you....probably.

  • @mikedrop4421
    @mikedrop4421 Рік тому +167

    So nice of Falcon helping out a little channel like Lazerpig. You don't see A-list creators doing this enough.

  • @space_artist_4real138
    @space_artist_4real138 Рік тому +73

    As a mechanical engineer, oh that was so hilariously painful.
    Oh the titanium, oh how much that would fucking cost, this bit stood out more than anything else really.

    • @paulmahoney7619
      @paulmahoney7619 Рік тому +6

      Yeah, just imagining how the vibrations in that thing would get when the 20mm and 30mm open up makes me crave the safe comfort of the Pear Wiggler.

    • @hudsonflores5478
      @hudsonflores5478 11 місяців тому +4

      this would cost as much as an Arleigh Burke and work as well as sending a Ford-F150 with ERA on it and a 30 mile fuel range, with a Gau-8 on it, except everything fails because of massive mechanical issues every 3 seconds and it needs a dozen supply trucks per unit just to get through a single mission

  • @tartcartpas1
    @tartcartpas1 Рік тому +581

    The 5’ stripper pole allows for a new mos in the army and an opportunity to finally allow people with dwarfism to serve their country as combat strippers.

    • @diogeneslamp8004
      @diogeneslamp8004 Рік тому +28

      That’s hot.

    • @geoffreyentwistle8176
      @geoffreyentwistle8176 Рік тому +44

      Man, level 1 bards in the modern world have it fucking ROUGH... XD

    • @SIRslipperyasp91
      @SIRslipperyasp91 Рік тому

      No, they'd be called tactical femboys, and you should google "DJpeachcobbler" to learn about their secret history as veitnam era moral officers.

    • @karabenomar
      @karabenomar Рік тому

      I'll be honest, when LP said there would be no electronic entertaintment, I was thinking...chess board?!
      Clearly, midget combat strippers are far superior and I now see the error of my ways.

    • @kylejohnson6775
      @kylejohnson6775 Рік тому +38

      This is one of the most beautiful sentences to take out of context I have ever seen.

  • @peterb2272
    @peterb2272 Рік тому +396

    "We are gonna send these tanks in a three day deep strike mission to the capital city, with all the fuel trucks following"
    Did I just get a shiver of Déjà vu down my spine?

    • @chrisscott6254
      @chrisscott6254 Рік тому +25

      . . . Ukraine?

    • @JohnNeo19
      @JohnNeo19 Рік тому +95

      We Americans also did that in Iraq. Except it was successful because we had total air superiority, had dismantled the Iraqi chain of command entirely, sent their leader into hiding and the moral of the Iraqi military was so low that most conscripts abandoned their post the second they heard gun fire in the distance.
      Mike spark’s probably thinks we could do that to a near peer adversary and honestly with how shit the Russian military has shown to be we probably could do it to Russia, china is a whole different ball game though.
      It seems like mike sparks is only capable of operating under the assumption that we are fighting a weaker enemy, we have total air and naval superiority and we are fighting a demoralized easily defeated enemy.

    • @davidty2006
      @davidty2006 Рік тому +3

      Hmmmmmmm. Ah not to worry it's american logistics, 1 truck = 1 potential fuel tanker.

    • @SantaClaus-kk8zr
      @SantaClaus-kk8zr Рік тому +31

      @@JohnNeo19 Well, we also had reliable logistics and a command structure that wasn't getting sniped or bombed constantly. Russian logistics relies on trucks, American logistics rely on setting up entire fortresses with a subway and Ihop in them, HMGs every five feet, and a few gunships always circling above them. It's kinda wacky how developed our logistic chains were in Desert Storm and such lmfao, takes a lot longer but we actually took notes from past wars to make our future ones less costly and more effective.

    • @XMysticHerox
      @XMysticHerox Рік тому +7

      The Coalition outperformed Iraq in every way imaginable in every aspect of war and not by a small margin. Not just air superiority. Thats why it was possible. @@JohnNeo19

  • @canniballollocaust9174
    @canniballollocaust9174 Рік тому +281

    I can't believe the two greatest designers of the Sparks administration didn't even consider a Space Gavin

    • @ChucksSEADnDEAD
      @ChucksSEADnDEAD Рік тому +10

      Probably because there's prior art of a M113 attached to a Shuttle nose and a rocket in the back.

    • @Shaun_Jones
      @Shaun_Jones Рік тому +14

      Sparks actually already beat you to it, using Thunderbirds as a source to prove his idea is genius.

    • @diogeneslamp8004
      @diogeneslamp8004 Рік тому +7

      And when Lazerpig takes it out for a test that would be pigs in space…

    • @NotAGepard
      @NotAGepard Рік тому +3

      But this needed a compass and a radio made for space. This is to much complicated tech that mike and spray would hate. This thing would need to have the v2 missles technology or tech from the Sputnik rocket.

    • @kevinalmgren8332
      @kevinalmgren8332 Рік тому +3

      The Astro-Gavin

  • @CDangles
    @CDangles Рік тому +6

    As an engineering student listening while I'm in a work meeting for a student design competition, this brings me so much joy.

  • @mettatone.x.356
    @mettatone.x.356 Рік тому +33

    It took me halfway through the video to realize you guys are basically making a luxury version of the Chimera from 40k.

  • @c3aloha
    @c3aloha Рік тому +565

    Still unbelievable that Mike Sparks alone almost convinced the world that M113s were called Gavins.

    • @JohnWilliamNowak
      @JohnWilliamNowak Рік тому +37

      Deviantart/Shabazik has used AeroGavins in some art. In the artist's defense, I have no idea if they're being ironic or not.

    • @c3aloha
      @c3aloha Рік тому +10

      @@JohnWilliamNowak don’t forget the amphigavins!

    • @JohnWilliamNowak
      @JohnWilliamNowak Рік тому

      @@c3aloha How about Chronogavins? And they can be bigger on the inside, leaving room for more strippers.

    • @kavalier8778
      @kavalier8778 Рік тому +5

      "almost" XD

    • @gerryflanagan8291
      @gerryflanagan8291 Рік тому +6

      No rational human ever called the M113 a Gavin. And what's with the metric bullschit?

  • @potcookies96
    @potcookies96 Рік тому +426

    If internet historian is gonna take forever this will do

    • @SteelLegionnaire
      @SteelLegionnaire Рік тому +13

      It’s been months since he last uploaded D:

    • @trevorjrooney
      @trevorjrooney Рік тому +8

      I just wish he would do ITF stuff more between the IH vids. Man in Cave was #1 on trending for a few hours after it released and the big IH vids bring in millions of views, and tons of revenue from additional views from reaction channels. Those have to be big paydays.

    • @trevorjrooney
      @trevorjrooney Рік тому +1

      @@DeReAntiqua As I understand it, all reaction videos have their ad revenu directed in full to the creator of the original video, which means no lost money due to reactions honestly labeled as such. Im not sure how much viewership for the main channel matters at IH's size in this matter specifically. I see how someone much smaller might lose views on their video to a very popular reactor though.

    • @OhWow1337
      @OhWow1337 Рік тому

      @@SteelLegionnaireit’s been a year!

    • @thorehahn1501
      @thorehahn1501 Рік тому

      @@trevorjrooneySounds like a really cool system, but you only give your reaction money away if the content is copyrighted in ContentId otherwise it is just free money for the reaction channel

  • @inurokuwarz
    @inurokuwarz Рік тому +448

    A tracked limosine with jet engines is terrifying.
    Not in combat mind you, riding in the back sounds lethal.

    • @moonasha
      @moonasha Рік тому +7

      eh just put some ejection seats in it, it'll be fine

    • @TrollOfReason
      @TrollOfReason Рік тому +9

      That poor tail gunner...

    • @twddersharkmarine7774
      @twddersharkmarine7774 Рік тому +3

      Just get a private jet and change the wheels into small itty bitty track and claim its for "unprepared surface operation", as a bonus, it flies

    • @eckasas
      @eckasas Рік тому +4

      I stood less than 50 meters from F-16 starting its engine.. Don't do it without ear protection.

  • @Smartcoughdrop
    @Smartcoughdrop Рік тому +112

    I want an RTS game with all these incredible designs

    • @DucaCremisi
      @DucaCremisi Рік тому +5

      Always possible if people get up to mod some games.

    • @GirthyD
      @GirthyD Рік тому +10

      Red Alert already exists

    • @DucaCremisi
      @DucaCremisi Рік тому

      @@GirthyD Yeah, but not with their designs, unless I missed something.

    • @leonodonoghueburke4276
      @leonodonoghueburke4276 Рік тому +1

      Hoi4 mods

    • @DucaCremisi
      @DucaCremisi Рік тому

      @@leonodonoghueburke4276 Hoi4 has slot of potential for that, but it's unused, for the most part

  • @roninhusky8492
    @roninhusky8492 Рік тому +78

    Imagine being the 20mm gunner when the 30mm gau fires above your head...

  • @Jetiko27
    @Jetiko27 Рік тому +227

    So, Mike, get this: it's an APC... but the troops are inside a chopper inside the APC!

    • @bkondrk
      @bkondrk Рік тому +15

      A military turducken! Brilliant! :D

    • @c3aloha
      @c3aloha Рік тому +9

      And it’s amphibious

  • @BaronVonCatipeen
    @BaronVonCatipeen Рік тому +189

    I was really hoping that in light of Mr. Sprays dislike of radar, one of you would have suggested a WW2 Era pigeon based tracking system for the Vulcan.

    • @JollyKirbs
      @JollyKirbs Рік тому +9

      hell yea

    • @joshuahadams
      @joshuahadams Рік тому +18

      Not sure of the context but I’m imagining an Avro Vulcan launching a pigeon-guided Blue Steel nuclear weapon now.

    • @TheMan83554
      @TheMan83554 Рік тому +18

      ​​@@joshuahadams So, WW2. Electronic tracking doesn't exist.
      What you do have are pigeons.
      Train the pigeons to peck on pictures of the target, as the bomb falls, the pigeon inside the bomb pecks on a piece of glass, which makes fins move to course correct the bombs flight.

  • @JohnWilliamNowak
    @JohnWilliamNowak Рік тому +105

    There needs to be a 20mm cannon for every infantryman aboard. He can control it using a videogame controller, and the aiming system gives points for every kill, so it's not only a weapons system but also a video game.
    The wheels need to be covered with a metal belt, not tracks. The metal belt makes the tires indestructible, and since they're metal it combines the best parts of a wheel and tracks. It worked in Speed Racer!

    • @d3nza482
      @d3nza482 Рік тому +12

      Kill point system also simplifies promotions. More kills, more promotion points. Extra points for combo kills and taking out armored targets.
      Every soldier a general by the end of campaign.

    • @heikkiremes5661
      @heikkiremes5661 Рік тому

      No way. Technology bad. Unreliable.

    • @RichardDzien
      @RichardDzien Рік тому +5

      They can re-use the video game controllers om the bottom of the ocean near the Titanic.

    • @RG001100
      @RG001100 Рік тому +7

      They can have a predator drone nearby ready to perform airstrikes, but only for soldiers who have a kill streak of five.

    • @b.w.22
      @b.w.22 Рік тому +3

      Hell yes - one guy mentioned promotions, but I think the soldiers operating the video-game controller’d 20mm cannons can achieve battlefield commendations and medals based on an AI monitored gun camera. So just like in Battlefield, little achievements will pop up in the Augmented Reality goggles that the soldiers will be wearing. Totally takes advantage of 25 years of conditioning paid for by the private-sector game studios and, ultimately, the soldiers themselves when they bought and played the games! Have Forza guys drive the things.

  • @3smashine
    @3smashine Рік тому +22

    A) why doesn’t it fly
    2) there needs to be toilets in the chairs
    D ) a cage for the warthogs

  • @wiledman2430
    @wiledman2430 Рік тому +25

    "You just cant look at a stripper if the lighting is to harsh, I've tried it it just doesn't work." -Lazer pig 2023

  • @LoreTunderin
    @LoreTunderin Рік тому +121

    "So we've got a defensive 20mm cannon, and an offensive 30mm cannon." 💀💀🤣🤣

    • @twirlyturd4364
      @twirlyturd4364 Рік тому +2

      Also got defensive Molotov cocktails too take out my abandoned challenger 2

    • @warmachine5835
      @warmachine5835 Рік тому

      The placement of which ensures that the defensive cannon cannot cover the rear of the vehicle.

  • @CaptainRhodor
    @CaptainRhodor Рік тому +65

    33:52 I now have a spectacular mental image of a Gavin mounting a GAU-8, letting off a burst, and going careening around the battlefield like a loose fire hose XD

  • @derekc.6155
    @derekc.6155 Рік тому +338

    Wait! Why go for a Gau-8, when you have multiple 16-inch guns from old WWII battleships sitting around collecting dust?!

    • @Grebogoborp
      @Grebogoborp Рік тому +29

      As much as this thing already ignores physics one single 16” gun weighs 138 tons

    • @jeremywerner9489
      @jeremywerner9489 Рік тому +52

      That's the problem with these amateurs, they just can't think BIG enough!

    • @garyslayton8340
      @garyslayton8340 Рік тому +11

      ​@@jeremywerner9489just strap a single use 18 mm cannon to the bottem of a jet

    • @SomeGunNerd
      @SomeGunNerd Рік тому +32

      Far too high-tech. We need something simple. I suggest a 50-pound Parrot Gun from the Civil War.

    • @wingracer1614
      @wingracer1614 Рік тому

      @@SomeGunNerd Parrot gun? You expect filthy conscripts to be knowledgeable enough to understand such complex concepts as rifling? Might as well give them sharp sticks. Actually, that sounds like a good idea. After all, the Romans conquered the world with the spear.

  • @alphaandomega4422
    @alphaandomega4422 Рік тому +30

    This whole video is essentially a child playing with Legos and just creating something...MAGICAL

  • @honjohorikoshi
    @honjohorikoshi Рік тому +9

    I just love the fact that I was researching printing presses and this was one of the recommendation

  • @treyaldridge1757
    @treyaldridge1757 Рік тому +76

    I have a sneaking suspicion that Mike Sparks was watching the Top Gear Burma special when he came up with the shower in the armored vehicle idea

  • @999Phiro
    @999Phiro Рік тому +323

    I swear to God I'm going to design this in sprocket.
    Mainly because I want to see the absolute nightmare this thing turns into.

    • @Destroyer_V0
      @Destroyer_V0 Рік тому +35

      Make sure to design it after the volumetric internals update for maximum pain while trying to make it work.

    • @999Phiro
      @999Phiro Рік тому +38

      @@Destroyer_V0 it was already going to be a nightmare now I have to model a goddamn stripper POLE AND BANANA DAIQUIRI MAKER IN A GODDAMN COUCH?!?!!?!?!?!
      I'm gonna blow my brains out trying to get the physics to work.
      AND WHERE THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO FIND A GAU-8?!?!?!?!?!

    • @Destroyer_V0
      @Destroyer_V0 Рік тому +7

      @@999Phiro From the ex aviation disposal store, obviously.... come to think of it, sprocket SHOULD, have hostile planes attacking your tank at some point.

    • @NotAGepard
      @NotAGepard Рік тому +1

      Yes. Do it.

    • @zacharytracy3797
      @zacharytracy3797 Рік тому

      Modded Kerbal Space Program might be just the thing you need in the interim!

  • @vincenttorrijos9680
    @vincenttorrijos9680 Рік тому +502

    It really would be more realistic to just make an actual Metal Gear

  • @JacobT-1
    @JacobT-1 Рік тому +47

    This was very enjoyable. Pig and Falcon duo is great. You seem to genuinely get along. Boy, do I like Fighter's art style. The art is like a mix of engineer sketches/plans and anime (edit: But, like, a very "Americanized" anime.) This was a very pleasant surprise of an upload. Solid, simple, and wholesome ad too. Thank you both.

    • @shaunt6040
      @shaunt6040 Рік тому +1

      what did they draw it on

  • @noxthemc7717
    @noxthemc7717 Рік тому +22

    Finally someone has realized the synergistic promise of futons and armored personnel carriers

  • @alexanderlittlejohn7136
    @alexanderlittlejohn7136 Рік тому +152

    Not going to lie, that other guy really knows how to draw on the fly. That's a hell of a skill.

    • @fightertales
      @fightertales Рік тому +84

      Thank you. I was pretty drunk so drawing circles was a challenge

    • @A_Haunted_Pancake
      @A_Haunted_Pancake Рік тому +20

      You can also hear he must have worked in irl Design,
      considering how long he could withstand laughing out loud
      at really dumb ideas from the Boss / Client. 🤣

    • @shaider1982
      @shaider1982 Рік тому +1

      Yup, his videos on aircombat is informative and entertaining.

    • @fightertales
      @fightertales Рік тому +5

      @@A_Haunted_Pancake I've worked professionally in Graphic Design, admittedly not in any military capacity.

    • @just_matt214
      @just_matt214 Рік тому +5

      Well yeah he's an ace pilot, he can do anything *on the fly.*

  • @okie1011
    @okie1011 Рік тому +54

    Lazerpig saying he’s met Mike Sparks has the same energy as Jack Ryan saying he met Marko Ramius lol

    • @lemonlemonlemonlemonlemons
      @lemonlemonlemonlemonlemons 9 місяців тому

      I really want to watch that Skype call, everything sparks says has so much meme potential

  • @BoraHorzaGobuchul
    @BoraHorzaGobuchul Рік тому +66

    You can heat water by using it as engine coolant, and also by passing the exhaust pipe through the water tank. Water also slows down bullets pretty well, it's best to put the water tanks on the outside of the armor on the top and sides. This way nobody will scratch and dent that pretty titanium armor

    • @Necro3Monk
      @Necro3Monk Рік тому +10

      And any impacts or explosive rounds will help heat the water fore future drinks/soup. Genius!

    • @changingform250
      @changingform250 Рік тому

      Worked so well on the Nelson, a tried and tested idea.

  • @HazmatUnit
    @HazmatUnit Рік тому +15

    This Mike Sparks is getting into Warhammer 40k proportions of vehicles.

  • @thriftyshark5307
    @thriftyshark5307 Рік тому +7

    "and now Pierre spray is in the room and he's telling us that these lasers are high technology and unreliable"
    "Alright, we're gonna put Tom Brady on the back of the vehicle, he doesn't get a chair T34 hull gunner style, and he'll chuck a football at any anti tank weapon that's travelling at the vehicle at the speed of sound."

  • @Beefheap
    @Beefheap Рік тому +5

    Here's my deposit for the first Gavin 2 off the production line

  • @lostalone9320
    @lostalone9320 Рік тому +56

    A relaxed, seductive pose with a combat helmet perfectly describes the average infantryman of this dark future.

    • @potatoflow536
      @potatoflow536 Рік тому +9

      Less grimdark and more tall, dark and handsome

  • @josephhelgersonjoseph6115
    @josephhelgersonjoseph6115 Рік тому +177

    Video idea: LP and Falcon try to design militarized versions of Phineas and Ferb’s inventions. For example: The Paper Pelican and the Sun-Beater 3000

    • @CaptainAricDeron
      @CaptainAricDeron Рік тому +12

      - The Armored Rollercoaster.
      - The WM1a "Candance" Tree House Mech
      - The "Jack O'neil" System of Transplanetary Access and Relocation (STAR) gate

    • @Shaun_Jones
      @Shaun_Jones Рік тому

      The movie kind of already did that.

    • @StickWithTrigger
      @StickWithTrigger Рік тому

    • @just_matt214
      @just_matt214 Рік тому

      Would be more reasonable than whatever happened in this video.

  • @AntiAntagonist
    @AntiAntagonist Рік тому +20

    If crew comfort is so important and it's already a zeppelin, then there should be a food court.

  • @MostlyPennyCat
    @MostlyPennyCat Рік тому +5

    Give it a mirror finish.
    Now, this solves two problems.
    1) You're in the desert, rather than a heavy expensive and complicated climate control system, the mirror stops all the energy of the sun from heating the tank, the water and the occupants.
    2) It's the 21st century, you're enemy has lasers. Like, guaranteed, no doubt _at all_
    Mirror finish! Reflects the lasers back, 100% damage free, possibly (probably?) destroying the crew served laser and crew that was attacking you.
    Without the mirrors, you're dead. ERA can't stop lasers, it'll just burn or explode.
    And Titanium alloy? It may stop any calibre of Ballistic projectile, _but metal melts_
    So it can't stop lasers.
    Only mirrors can!

  • @DeputyDexin
    @DeputyDexin Рік тому +350

    Nothing compliments the unstable payday 3 beta than some good ol' energy beam swine

    • @adenkyramud5005
      @adenkyramud5005 Рік тому +3

      Energy beam swine and hawk's warrior stories (couldn't think of another word for fighter aircraft so warrior it is) 😂

    • @rokkraljkolesa9317
      @rokkraljkolesa9317 Рік тому +4

      @@adenkyramud5005 battle plane?

    • @tobikenobi7364
      @tobikenobi7364 Рік тому +5

      Wtf I just read this while playing the beta lol

    • @mrnoskills3589
      @mrnoskills3589 Рік тому +2

      Read this while installing the beta lmao

  • @PenumbranWolf
    @PenumbranWolf Рік тому +26

    I cannot wait for the chance to buy a Military Issue Femboi at my local Army/Navy store, I'll tell you what.

  • @solreaver83
    @solreaver83 Рік тому +75

    B1 without payload could mount the Gavin like bombs, they could be deployed as parasite fighters, using their gun turret for offensive action when mounted then when deplyed in the fighter role. Then they can be launched to support the troops. In addition the airships could be bultiple gun systems for direct fire support like an ac-130 on steroids, it could also deploy more flying Gavin's like a carrier for multiple roles.

    • @lego501stTrigger
      @lego501stTrigger Рік тому +6

      What if we build mini Gavinlets that go inside the big ones and when the b1 drops its load the enemies will be overwhelmed by the cluster gavins

    • @solreaver83
      @solreaver83 Рік тому +9

      @@lego501stTrigger I'm not sure the Internarional community would approve of cluster Gavin's. What if one gets left in a field and found by a random kid one day?

    • @lego501stTrigger
      @lego501stTrigger Рік тому +10

      @solreaver83 That's true, kids shouldn't get to have fun with these mini apcs. We can solve this by making them explode if picked up

  • @jasonmendelsohn6316
    @jasonmendelsohn6316 Рік тому +16

    I am so glad that they managed to do this with a straight face for so long.

  • @shaynemcilvoy9047
    @shaynemcilvoy9047 Рік тому +3

    This video has the same energy as my and the boys decorating our ship with upgrades in Lethal Company

  • @jamespocelinko104
    @jamespocelinko104 Рік тому +54

    Given what I've seen of actual military PowerPoints, I'm guessing Sparks' graphic design ability is on par with a lot of military officers.

    • @ebnertra0004
      @ebnertra0004 Рік тому +8

      Well There's Your Problem's episode on military powerpoints was gold, even if some of the slides inflicted psychic damage on me

  • @adenkyramud5005
    @adenkyramud5005 Рік тому +46

    Mr sparks has once again proven his wisdom by hiring these two men. Amazing.

  • @joesmutz9287
    @joesmutz9287 Рік тому +93

    As silly as it was...this made me start missing Crimson Skies again
    Come on Microsoft, the dogfight genre is getting a bit of a resurgence, give us an entry

    • @HumanityisEmbarrassing
      @HumanityisEmbarrassing Рік тому +1

      Yes because that's how game development works. Comments on UA-cam are seen and next week, bingo, game.
      Go home.

    • @ravleow9748
      @ravleow9748 Рік тому +26

      @@HumanityisEmbarrassing dude, chill out.

    • @joesmutz9287
      @joesmutz9287 Рік тому +1

      @@HumanityisEmbarrassing Pardon me for saying this, but what kind of depressive sot do you have to be to disparage a whistful comment on a youtube meme video?

    • @phoenixmarktwo
      @phoenixmarktwo Рік тому +15

      ​@@HumanityisEmbarrassingSomeone never got over the end of Crimson Skies.

    • @sainsburyshopper
      @sainsburyshopper Рік тому +17

      @@HumanityisEmbarrassing I once commented on a baldur’s gate 2 video about how cool it’d be to have a sequel
      Coincidence? I think NOT!

  • @KestrelTown
    @KestrelTown Рік тому +18

    The CAS solution looks like the Planet Express ship. Which means...lots of potential application for the civilian delivery market! There is no end to the genius of these two men!

  • @svenneumann2816
    @svenneumann2816 Рік тому +6

    Sloped armor zeppelin killed me.
    10/10 would spent small amount of military budget

  • @CharlieNoodles
    @CharlieNoodles Рік тому +98

    Guys, you could have saved yourselves a lot of fussing with metric and used the height of Mike Sparks as your unit of measurement. It was right there!

  • @kemarisite
    @kemarisite Рік тому +41

    If we're going back to Vietnam for inspiration, we should install six 106 mm recoilless rifles on our new Gavin vehicle for anti-armor use.
    Note that I am saying this around the time of the Vulcarall concept.
    Edit: I'm glad I said that so early because I was laughing too hard at the GAU-8 concept.

    • @Shiftinggers
      @Shiftinggers Рік тому +4

      Wouldn't that be more like the Ontos?

    • @kemarisite
      @kemarisite Рік тому +2

      @@Shiftinggers you are correct, sir!

    • @MrChickennugget360
      @MrChickennugget360 Рік тому +4

      I really like the idea that we won World War III against the USSR with swarms of Aero Gavins- I'm goanna guess that is the reason why Mike Sparks is president of the USA

    • @cf453
      @cf453 Рік тому +3

      Hear me out: Six-barrel rotary 106mm recoilless rifles. Because if there's one thing that HEAT rounds definitely benefit from, it's a high rate of fire.

    • @kemarisite
      @kemarisite Рік тому

      ​@@cf453take my money and build this! 😂

  • @lawrencejob
    @lawrencejob Рік тому +80

    Also, you don’t need engines on the zeppelin - just point the GAU-8 backwards when you want to go forwards

    • @JopardBDS
      @JopardBDS Рік тому +2

      I was thinking on a similar line. Why not weld propeller blades to the barrel so when it spins up you get a power boost

  • @tylerthompson5859
    @tylerthompson5859 Рік тому +1

    I love how y'all heard it had a shower, then spent 45 whole minutes trolling the hell out of it. I absolutely love it.

  • @ryanmarcum9044
    @ryanmarcum9044 3 місяці тому +1

    This whole design meeting could’ve been a hilarious D&D campaign.

  • @LeafyMouse4478
    @LeafyMouse4478 Рік тому +157

    Let’s go a 50 minute video to get me through my next 50 minute class. Thank you very much Pig

    • @wolfninja11111
      @wolfninja11111 Рік тому +2

      Yea

    • @matthewarnold4557
      @matthewarnold4557 Рік тому +1

      School just started smh

    • @garyslayton8340
      @garyslayton8340 Рік тому

      In chemistry rn

    • @nos9784
      @nos9784 Рік тому +7

      Hey, pay attention in school, or you will end up like mike sparks!
      😋

    • @cf453
      @cf453 Рік тому

      Dude, if you're going to do that, just don't bother going to class.

  • @yoschiannik8438
    @yoschiannik8438 Рік тому +33

    The shower thing gives the word "Tank" a conplettly new meaning

    • @A_Haunted_Pancake
      @A_Haunted_Pancake Рік тому +8

      Actually we're coming full circle.
      Back when they put out the order for the very first Matildas,
      the British Government told the workers they were making watertanks.

    • @yoschiannik8438
      @yoschiannik8438 Рік тому +2

      @@A_Haunted_Pancake Yes, thats what im talking about

    • @Gencrossbones
      @Gencrossbones Рік тому

      ​​@@A_Haunted_Pancakesame goes to the very first tanks of WW1 they call them Water tanks to keep the tank project secret

  • @marcogenovesi8570
    @marcogenovesi8570 Рік тому +23

    the insanity keeps going up the more the video progresses

  • @Deltaguy447
    @Deltaguy447 Рік тому +16

    Truly a weapon to surpass surplus t55's and cope cages, the future of warfare is going to be very lopsided with President Sparks at the helm!
    Awesome video LP!

  • @Recordspin
    @Recordspin Рік тому +1

    A parody of In The Field, but with LazerPig, is the best thing anyone could have asked for.

  • @RevDrKillJoy
    @RevDrKillJoy Рік тому +29

    I feel like I'm watching Cobra Commander and Destro designing Cobra's next toy line. 😂

    • @Coid
      @Coid Рік тому

      yessssss

  • @alberttrita5858
    @alberttrita5858 Рік тому +22

    Only problem is that the zeppelin is vulnerable to air attack. Add another GAU-8 on it for shooting down planes, this time firing some other kind of shell, since you don't need much penetration against fighters.

  • @Numtalegau
    @Numtalegau Рік тому +31

    What a great way to start the weekend. LP has blessed us with an upload.
    Spank you, LazerPig. Spank you very much.

  • @KingFunky
    @KingFunky Рік тому +5

    I suddenly have a greater appreciation for internet historian and his editors

  • @Ironclockwork
    @Ironclockwork Рік тому +1

    *Watches the scenario outline at the beginning* ...Goddammit, Chief O'Brien, what in the world have you done now!?

  • @bananaborn4785
    @bananaborn4785 Рік тому +52

    this is how warhammer 40k technology came to be

    • @26th_Primarch
      @26th_Primarch Рік тому +1

      I was gonna say

    • @cleanerben9636
      @cleanerben9636 Рік тому +3

      this comment was inevitable, just like the sweet gifts of Nurgle. I implore you, drink from the gutter and embrace his love!

    • @JoRoWi83
      @JoRoWi83 Рік тому +1

      You speaks the truth truth

  • @EmmaDelamare
    @EmmaDelamare Рік тому +32

    The thing is what you need more of is lift, so you need to use a triplane design.

  • @TurboHappyCar
    @TurboHappyCar Рік тому +37

    Wow Falcon's pretty good at drawing.

  • @patrickjanecke5894
    @patrickjanecke5894 Рік тому +1

    An American is legally permitted to speak in metric if and only if mentally repeating the magic words "twenty-five point four." This is known as the ASME Sutra.

  • @maxpower3990
    @maxpower3990 Місяць тому +1

    Not even 40k Orcs would believe that this vehicle could work.

  • @indiomoustafa2047
    @indiomoustafa2047 Рік тому +154

    An actual collab with Internet Historian would be wonderful.
    Edit: Damn, this didn't age too well. Lol

    • @mikedrop4421
      @mikedrop4421 Рік тому +5

      They don't associate with unknown channels like that. They (LP & Falcon) are huge creators in their own minds.

    • @CruelestChris
      @CruelestChris Рік тому

      ​@@mikedrop4421
      Who are you talking about?

    • @indiomoustafa2047
      @indiomoustafa2047 Рік тому

      ​@@mikedrop4421Yeah I mean tbf IH wouldnt have much to gain from a collab other than hilarious content, Im sure 90% of Lazerpigs subs are also subbed to him lol

    • @Aragon1500
      @Aragon1500 Рік тому +1

      ​@indiomoustafa2047 I mean you can say that for Sumito and many kudos I think his collabs on incognito mode are for the lulz

    • @mikedrop4421
      @mikedrop4421 Рік тому

      @@CruelestChris OK Chris, we'll break this down like it' is completely normal to need someone on the internet to explain how sarcasm and deprication work.
      OK... Let's review my comment..
      "they don't associate with unknown channels like that"

  • @fedos
    @fedos Рік тому +22

    I was recently at a USAF acquisition leadership seminar, and a speaker actually referenced The Pentagon Wars as a movie that portrays an accurate representation of military acquisition. If anyone should know better, it's the people who were in that room.

    • @CruelestChris
      @CruelestChris Рік тому

      People who go to leadership seminars are people stupid enough to go to leadership seminars.

    • @Destroyer_V0
      @Destroyer_V0 Рік тому +6

      The process may be accurate, but that doesn't mean the film itself is.

  • @CharliMorganMusic
    @CharliMorganMusic Рік тому +42

    I want to see an entire family of Sparks™️ AFVs. Design a Sparks™️ tank, and a Sparks™️ IFV to pair with this. A Sparks™️ AA system would be good, too. Obviously, we need variants for the Marines and Airborne, too.

    • @incompletemachine877
      @incompletemachine877 Рік тому +3

      The navy needs a sparks class submarine, and given the formation of the US space force, a lunar sparks will also be needed. After all where else are we going to get the titanium.

    • @Coid
      @Coid Рік тому +1

      So make it amphibious and replace the banana daquiris with banana crayon daquiris and you've got the marines covered.

    • @jmjedi923
      @jmjedi923 Рік тому

      And make everying interchangeable!

  • @waitingforanalibi2224
    @waitingforanalibi2224 Рік тому +2

    I have to say, I like the format. I like the tongue in cheek comments/additions and like the real-time illustrations deffo! 👍👍

  • @lownexury
    @lownexury 11 місяців тому +1

    I really like the Internet historian parody 😂 funny af in my opinion. You are a great host dude. Really appreciate you

  • @dabluflcn
    @dabluflcn Рік тому +13

    The Gavin X you’re designing needs monster truck tires and a proper lift kit. That way it can crush other vehicles and handle any terrain. Plus it needs speakers and subwoofers on the outside of the hull for less than lethal crowd control and sweet tunes.

    • @Coid
      @Coid Рік тому +2

      The only question is, where can we find big enough truck nuts for it?

    • @dabluflcn
      @dabluflcn Рік тому +2

      @@Coid We’ll make them! In Murrrrrica!

  • @jmfranke
    @jmfranke Рік тому +27

    Finally someone takes crew comfort seriously!

  • @tarnishedknight9909
    @tarnishedknight9909 Рік тому +19

    20 seconds in and Im already laughing hard enough to trigger a coughing fit, gonna be a good one

  • @BlahVideosBlahBlah
    @BlahVideosBlahBlah Рік тому +1

    I'm not gonna lie; a GAU-8 and a Patriot defense system on a stratospheric combat zeplin would be dope AF.

  • @i0315
    @i0315 Рік тому +10

    I really think what was missing from your design is that, with all those nice scrapped parts from the horrific B1 platform, you would have enough wings to make the vehicle a biplane for better maneuverability in dogfighting.

  • @richardarriaga6271
    @richardarriaga6271 Рік тому +57

    I wonder if anyone tried to build a Lego tank? It floats, immune to corrosion, simple construction.

    • @Vartuoosi
      @Vartuoosi Рік тому +20

      Inherently modular as well.

    • @alexturnbackthearmy1907
      @alexturnbackthearmy1907 Рік тому +17

      @@Vartuoosi Easy to repair as well, just give legos to toddlers and say them to build. Also solves child unemployment.

    • @daniellewis1789
      @daniellewis1789 Рік тому +7

      Because Lego doesn't make an ERA brick.
      Now, MegaBlocks...

    • @ButcherOfKhorne
      @ButcherOfKhorne Рік тому +5

      I don't think even the government can afford that much Legos to build a tank

    • @daniellewis1789
      @daniellewis1789 Рік тому +10

      @@ButcherOfKhorne It turns into area denial even after it's destroyed.

  • @hansiminator69
    @hansiminator69 Рік тому +48

    50 mins of Lazerpig! Yes! That’s what I need today! :)

  • @BWEEOOP
    @BWEEOOP Рік тому +16

    If it was ever built there would be a waiting list to get into the Army

    • @the_sad_wallet1553
      @the_sad_wallet1553 Рік тому +2

      I would join up just for the femboy pole dancers, the banana daiquiris and PTSD would just be an added bonus

  • @fboyg91
    @fboyg91 Рік тому +1

    If I had a banana daiquiri machine in my MATV I wouldn’t have hated my life even a fraction as much as I did. +1 vote for the combat vending machine

  • @redbasher636
    @redbasher636 Рік тому +38

    Is it bad I want to see you guys do this with Spookston, and do the "redesigns" of vehicles he did a couple years back? (With or without the Mike Sparks memery!)

    • @hydrolox3953
      @hydrolox3953 Рік тому +1

      I think it would be the funniest stream ever done.

  • @Number1Rival
    @Number1Rival Рік тому +4

    Tonight on Top Tank...
    Falcon's Fighter Tales is vibing,
    Mike Sparks wants to know what a UFO looks like,
    And Lazerpig talks about docking clamps.
    All that and more....on Top Tank.

  • @henrymorrison7891
    @henrymorrison7891 Рік тому +7

    I was told many moons ago about a video will be made on the home guard yet it remains but a dream
    Make it the name of Mike sparks or shall smite thee down

  • @Hannah_Em
    @Hannah_Em Рік тому +6

    Cannot tell you how thrilled I was to hear a Crimson Skies reference, that was such a fun game but nobody's ever heard of it

  • @Т1000-м1и
    @Т1000-м1и 10 місяців тому +1

    Immediate internet historian vibes after literally just 4 seconds

  • @themanthatpacs4550
    @themanthatpacs4550 Рік тому +2

    Now all you need is a couple of 18 pounders on the underside of the zeppelin