'Conan, what is best in life?' 'Hot water, good dentrishty and shoft lavatory paper.' 'Dammit, I said CONAN not COHEN!' 'Sorry... do you have a wheel?'
"I will own the country of.. California!" "Califoornia!" "Shh." It cracks me up every time. I hope that the rumored third Conan movie to this trilogy becomes true, and just as good as the first one. I was never really impressed with the second movie ( but Grace Jones is a delight and massively attractive ). Here's to hoping.
ChickenPika There was the time he played Jesus in "The Greatest Story Ever Told". Other than that you'd swear he was born old! Seriously; He looked old when he was young!
He still looked young in "The Emigrants" in 1971. But by "Three Days of the Condor" in 1973 he looked older than his actual age at the time, which was 44.
I normally find reviews like this funny, but c'mon dude that scene where he finds the sword in the tomb is one of the most perfectly executed scenes I've seen. The music, the set design,the pacing are flawless. only one word is spoken the whole scene and yet it speaks volumes about humanity from a bygone era, of ancient laws where myth and legend are almost real.
+CESSKAR true, but tht one just sticks out for sme reason.Its so restrained, no clogged cgi BS and so strangely... powerful. This movie is incredibly underrated imo now.
@@SignOfTheTimes008 It's anti-camp. As in, it takes itself completely seriously. That sort of sincerity is hard to fake. If you want an example of a campy movie, then try Flash Gordon, or Mom and Dad Save the World.
Conan...The Cummer. I almost had a heart attack laughing so hard. Doug the Critic is fucking hilarious. He reminds me of Weird Al. Kinda looks like him to. Seriously, put a perm curl black wig on Doug and he's a spitting image of younger Weird Al.
Nice, but the first half is undermined by the fact that Conan The Barbarian is actually a very strong movie; until LOTR came along, it was one of the finest examples of its genre. Destroyer, on the other hand...
Ironically there is a god named Crom but he's a minor Celtic god who controlled the crops in one small area and is most famous for being defeated by saint Patrick and demanding human sacrifice. His full name Crom Cruach has a couple different translations though my favorite translation is the bloody crocked one.
I guess calling the guy who watched you and your men kill everyone he ever knew, including his parents, and then enslave for the rest of his childhood and all of his adolescence "my son" is a bad idea. Who knew?
Which is made funnier by the fact that she's talking to Wilt Chamberlain, who eventually wrote a book in which he claimed to have slept w/ 20,000 women.
Quickest of nitpicks, but I kind of like the fact that the lead of the barbarian movie doesn't have perfect teeth. I mean, having details like skin defects and bad teeth are ideal traits when making a movie like this.
I have always liked these Connan movies. I started watching them as a kid and still enjoy them to this day. It's fun and cheesy at the same time. That style of film making is gone and will probably never come back, it was a byproduct of the 80s.
Most people see it as cheesy but I was able to see a philosophical review of the movie and it surfaced all the fine details that make the movie pretty genuinely good rather than hipster good.
Watching a recent documentary on John Milius he hoped to make a trilogy showing the evolution of Conan. Even though Milius comes off as a bombastic ass I think he was appropriate to make this movie but sadly never got to realize his future plans. It would have been interesting to see where he might have taken Conan. I only vaguely recall Conan the Destroyer but it made no great impression on me. The original was fun and did not take itself overly serious and seemed to be a harbinger for Xena. To see this character rise above his barbarian origins, accumulating knowledge and wisdom and not just remaiin a muscle-bound goon. It made potential and I heard Arnold would be interested in resurrecting this character. I don't think this is a great idea and should have happened a few decades ago. Now that Milius has been incapacitated by a stroke it seems like a project doomed to fail. The ending is almost exactly a carbon copy of Apocalypse Now.
Awww I was waiting for a Star Wars joke for the first movie. Come on, you've got some set ups: 1) James Earl Jones kidnaps a princess 2) "My son" 3) Villain with a slave girl right next to him
Matthew the Earth Adept plus it was surprisingly smart and it challenged the idea that a bad guy in a movie is necessarily just all around bad. Well It's a film by Jon Milius so it's not so surprising in retrospect but still ^^
Yann G I agree. As silly as it is, the first Conan has a certain charm to it. Also, the soundtrack by Basil Poledouris is one of the best movie soundtracks ever.
marcos antonio The first movie is fan fucking tastic, and both actually show story elements that were clearly inspired by Howard's stories. I noticed this as I read through a compendium of those stories (earliest material, anyway, and no comics or graphic novels). Arnold's Conan is a different character from Howard's, and much of what happens in these movies has no direct correlation in those stories. In my critical opinion, the first film was a fine original creation that was nevertheless derived heavily from the written stories. The second film, on the other hand, did little more than rip its villain off from one written story in particular, albeit with some major changes that included blending two characters into one, and then placed him in a bad, formulaic plot that was no more worthy of Arnold's Conan character than of Howard's original.
Eric Wood Robert Howard's Conan books were totally awesome!! Thank you for mentioning them. I would suggest watching Solomon Kane movie that came out 2 years ago. it was done in Europe and is freaking absolutely tastic! also Solomon Kane books are good. If you want more along the lines of Conan, check out The Last Wish, first book in the Witcher series. Another YTer, Wyntr Loves, got me hooked on that. It's like Conan meets Dungeons and Dragons Meets bountry hunter.
GarouLady Thanks for mentioning the Solomon Kane movie. I had no idea about that! As for those stories, I only started on the first one in my compendium, and have since left it on the back burner, meaning I do intend to get back to it and the other Howard stories contained therein. Work keeps me too damned busy to read much these days, unfortunately. Regarding the Witcher series you've mentioned, is the game series based on that, or maybe vice versa? I haven't played those, but the title naturally makes me wonder. All I know about the games is that they're set in some medieval fantasy setting.
I think that the first film is an under appreciated classic while the second one was definitely weaker. I think they should have let John Milus keep creative control over what he planned to be a trilogy. Also, for the third film, they should not have done a crappy reboot but get Arnold to reprise his role as a king and ruler.
I actually like both and really enjoy Destroyer, the thing is you have to take destroyer as it a guilty pleasure of hollywood cheese with a awesome Theme.
*What kind of villain was Jones from the first film?* He could turn into a snake, decapitate a man with a shock, control people with a look and he is in time not a bit aged as Conan was growing up! *Why was he so easy to beat?*
Thulsa Doom was the the son of the god set making him a demi-god which is why he did not age over time, and accounts for him turning to a snake using snake arrow's and most likely the mind control part. the reason Conan defeated him was his poor choice of words, as claiming to be Conan fathers made him think of his dead daddy giving him the strength to break the mind control to decapitate Thulsa.
Also, please stop calling him 'May-koh'... it's 'mah-ko' as in "open wide, say 'aaaaaahhhhhh!". Short 'a', not long 'a'. However you are correct when you put Mako up as a modern day saint. That man was amazing. RIP general Iroh.
Sorry folks, but Conan is a fine film. Written and directed by the great John Milius, excellent score by Basil Poledouris, and Sandahl Bergman is really, really hot. I often name my Morrowind and Oblivion characters Valeria. It's one of the best fantasy films ever made. "Conan the Destroyer"...not so good. Big disappointment.
Rembrandt Dassen but how can the first movie can be defined as "stupid" or "guilty pleasure"? I mean: if Milius' Conan is stupid or its story is bad (that is not), how can someone can possible describe real hollywood garbage of the '80s like Superman IV, Masters of the Universe or Howard the Duck? C'mon, NC! You know it is not a bad movie, in fact troughtout all the review you just make stupid jokes instead of pointig out the stupidity of the movie.
Yes, but why making fun trying to pointing out flaws that are not flaws? It makes no sense; I mean: yes, it's funny and enjoyable nut unfair to the movie
Can you imagine if Conan existed in Middle Earth? I feel like a dude that buff could just throw the ring into Mount Doom and end it all. Also, the use of music from TLoTR in this review was freaking awesome! And I liked the Princess Bride reference.
jp3813 also, that photo o Arnold and Wilt in costume on-set during shooting for Destroyer when Andre the Giant dropped by is really cool. you don't really get a sense in the movie for just how frigging -tall- Chamberlain was. he makes Arnold look like a kid in front of his dad.
Conan The Barbarian was an excellent movie. There are a few mistakes, but mostly it seemed to follow the Nietzsche ideal of mobile classes and the Superman. Conan going from laborer, to slave, to warrior, to king by his own innovation and ability. It is one of the better fantasy movies ever made.. Conan the Dest was a flub.. horrid and an insult.
For what it is, "Conan the Barbarian" is a great movie and executed almost flawlessly - the world, the fights, the music ... The premise is simple, but that does not make it "stupid".
I've seen 'you' spelt as 'u', doesn't make it right :P Honestly it is probably just a weird modern thing where spelling is changing, only reason I pulled you on it is because you were calling it out in the comments and because in the review he talks about it being 'medieval', if it was medieval then it would be 'blackguard' for sure. Perhaps it is an American thing where 'blaggard' is coming in, or perhaps not, but it isn't accepted in Britain.
Not sure. Actually, I think where I first saw it spelt that way was Fire Emblem, so it may not be coming back anywhere. I just couldn't think of another eight-letter word for that that starts with B.
The first Conan doesn't need to be a guilty pleasure. It's a genuinely solid movie, and much smarter than our friend Walker here is giving it credit for. No apologies for the second film, though.
oliver stone was one of the screenwriters for the first conan movie, which was just bad-ass. the sequel... not so much. but, i think the first one represents the character , storyand universe pretty well from what i remember of the books as a kid. but, why did thulsa doom have one of his acolytes kill herself to show a guy what real power was if *he was going to kill the guy*? seems like a waste of a good servant, no?
ryan barker It's called *mind fucking*... All the great villains do it. It's not enough to fuck the mind of the hero; You've got to fuck every mind in the room.
Misterprickly turning into a snake is a pretty snazzy trick, though. were i so inclined, that might be enough for me, lol. but, i guess we have to have the villain's monologue... it wouldn't feel right without it!
ryan barker I would say it's just that his servants have no worth for him as human beings. He does not care for them and certainly has enough and can acquire even more if need be. It is basically like picking a blossom of a bush just to make a point for him, while having a whole forest with these bushes. Nothing worth thinking over twice. At least that's my interpretation.
tightlypackedcoil My thoughts exactly. He's fun to watch, at times, but half the time, he doesn't seem to get his point across. Some of the movies he's reviewed, I wouldn't even call them that, I'd call them "inane ramblings".
His inability to grasp what he's seeing a lot of the time is reflected in the lengthy and (even for him) super-whiney video he made where he insists that the Star Wars Prequels had good elements, and then provides hefty gobs of what he considers supportive evidence for his case. They in fact contradict it, and reinforce that the prequels are uniformly wretched, but HE JUST DOESN'T GET IT. There is opinion, and then there is simply being wrong.
You realize that the Nostalgia Critic is just a character and doesn't necessarily reflect Doug's actual views? I have a feeling he just criticizes what he thinks will be funny.
I love Conan the Barbarian, its such a great fun Sword & Sandals flick, Conan the Destroyer wasn't as good but it did have some good moments. BTW first time I saw this in the theater (yes I am that old) at roughly 9:14 someone in the theater said very loudly "Look, Doomies" (reference to Korean church cult "Moonies") and the entire audience LOLed
actually even in the comics he wasnt all that smart, he did get smarter as the series went on though. lots of people mistake efficiency as smart. cant say he was stupid in the comics exactly more simple minded.
@@qwertythorn756 I guess that whole confusion between being smart and bing afficient really reers its head, in recent years. Especially when sleazebags like Ben Shapiro started spewing that "facts over feelings" fallacy.
Am I the only one who thinks the Conan in the remake should have been played by Dalip Singh (The Great Khali, that huge dude from The Longest Yard, and the giant Arabian in Get Smart)? I mean, Conan was always the strongest man shown in his story. I couldn't really see Jason Momoa pulling that off.
Yes you are! Conan was never meant to be the biggest guy on the story. If Conan was a giant then... where's the fucking challenge? Even in the books, Conan faced larger people than himself.
But he was always shown to be the strongest. And beyond that, Singh looked more like Conan. He had the brow, the dark eyes, the hair. He looked more like a barbarian.
Yeah you're alone on that one. Dalip can barely fucking speak understandable English and his ability to actually move around is kind of hampered by his massive frame. He's no actor and I just don't think do well in that role. Maybe an opponent to Conan, but not as Conan. I care less about how much an actor looks like the character and more about how they portray the character
Princess Jehna or whatever her name is (the blonde one from Conan the Destroyer) is friggin' beautiful! She's the full package for me... Marriage material (look wise) Tanned skin, blonde hair, nice beautiful big brown eyes, big lips and big beautiful breasts. Wow! Her name is Olivia d'Abo.
+hackman669 He meant the children being born from the fucking. Also virgin has two meanings. 1.exactly what you think. 2.her blood not having been used in a demonic ritual. So (hopefully) a lot of people are still technically virgins
Actually, I can see most of the things our dear Nostalgia Critic sees, but when he bashes things that just follow the source material rather fine it just becomes him trying too hard... Crom is a stupid name for a God? Well, uh, OK? I guess Jesus and Allah are much better.. And the way you pray to Crom is entirely different than christianity or whatever you think is "correct praying in a fantasy universe": Crom despises weakness, and awards strength. He does not grant requests, he grants demands. Not that he meddles much with any mortals really, but point is: That seems like a proper Crom prayer in my head. I'm not a huge Conan fan, but I know bits and pieces from here and there.
you do know that his reviews are supposed to be funny right? you really arent supposed to take them so seriously. why cling on to something he just kinds of says once for like a second? by the beard of crom you are waaaay more nitpickier than he is
You claim that the movie's soundtrack is some of the best you have ever heard, and yet you keep playing Lord of the Ring's instead of Conan's soundtrack... Lol.
The part where Subatai and Conan are travelling together is such good music. I was looking forward to hearing it when watching this review. Go see the ending of the never ending story 2 review and you will see the same reaction i had as the nostalgia critic did when the LoTR music came on...
"Can't a guy just be a snake for five minutes without something going wrong?"
😂
+pinkfloydfan123 His impression of JEJ is spot on.
Snake? Snake? SNAAAAAKKKKEEEE!
'Conan, what is best in life?'
'Hot water, good dentrishty and shoft lavatory paper.'
'Dammit, I said CONAN not COHEN!'
'Sorry... do you have a wheel?'
"Look at that, Abu, not everyday you see a horse with two rear ends..." that Aladdin reference was perfect.
"I will own the country of.. California!"
"Califoornia!"
"Shh."
It cracks me up every time. I hope that the rumored third Conan movie to this trilogy becomes true, and just as good as the first one. I was never really impressed with the second movie ( but Grace Jones is a delight and massively attractive ). Here's to hoping.
No third movie. Instead we got a ‘just ok’ remake staring Jason Momoa (aka Khal Drogo and Aquaman).
18:33-18:44 Sums up Skyrim's Dawnguard DLC pretty well.
EVERY RPG EVER!!!!!!
Oh my god it does!
Thats a bingo :D. But hey, i can kill people without piss of the city guard and i control the vampire population. A classic win-win situation.
Smashguy96 YES!
love the game tho
Smashguy96 Very much so
I'm starting to get the feeling that Max Von Sydow has always been old.
ChickenPika He wore old man makeup in The Exorcist.
ChickenPika There was the time he played Jesus in "The Greatest Story Ever Told".
Other than that you'd swear he was born old!
Seriously; He looked old when he was young!
He still looked young in "The Emigrants" in 1971. But by "Three Days of the Condor" in 1973 he looked older than his actual age at the time, which was 44.
YOU SHOULD HAVE ACTED.
THEY'RE ALREADY HERE.
ChickenPika he suffers from steve martin disease
"MY SON."
Conan: "NOO! THATS NOT TRUE! THATS IMPOSSIBLE!!"
"Guys, I told you to watch the place while I was a snake! Can't a guy, just be a snake, for five minutes without something going wrong?"
fucking ded
"I would like to ask you for directions"
The newest pick up line.
"Well, gee. when you put it like that... FUCK YOU!"
Oh Nostalgia Critic how I adore you.
James Earl Jones and not a single Darth Vader Joke. COME ON!!!!!!!
I swear it would’ve been a good twist if it turns out his character was Conan’s father.
I normally find reviews like this funny, but c'mon dude that scene where he finds the sword in the tomb is one of the most perfectly executed scenes I've seen. The music, the set design,the pacing are flawless. only one word is spoken the whole scene and yet it speaks volumes about humanity from a bygone era, of ancient laws where myth and legend are almost real.
+Dizzy Blu actually, a lot of scenes in the movie are like that.
+CESSKAR true, but tht one just sticks out for sme reason.Its so
restrained, no clogged cgi BS and so strangely... powerful. This movie is incredibly underrated imo now.
Yeah!
Dude TOTALY! Right on!👍
Some movies are like comfort food. They may be bad for you, but they're just the thing to curl up with and consume on a rainy day.
Yep. Although the first Conan is a little campy to I think its a good fun guy movie of revenge. Loved it.
@@SignOfTheTimes008 It's anti-camp. As in, it takes itself completely seriously. That sort of sincerity is hard to fake. If you want an example of a campy movie, then try Flash Gordon, or Mom and Dad Save the World.
@@Thagomizer I'll check them out. Thanks
"How do you attract a man?"
"I spear him, gut him, then wear him."
BEST ADVICE EVER
+Katarina Aguilar That explains why there are no men left in her village.
Conan the Barbarian was awesome, Destroyer was okay.
What no Darth Vader joke when James Earl Jones called Arnold "my son"?
+TheBelieveit1 I know, it was quite the let down.
Too easy
Walter Kovacs Yeah but you can't just NOT do it.
I was expecting it to cut to the clip of Luke shouting, "Nooo!"
I just realized.... the Narrator in Conan is the Uncle from Avatar TLA.
Yeh, Mako Played Uncle Iroh, until his death around third season. they got a decent replacement but you can tell a sight difference
gninamah5 Also, funnily enough, the replacement was an understudy of Mako and knew how to mimic his voice. Although not perfect, it's not too bad.
And aku from samuri jack
Conan...The Cummer. I almost had a heart attack laughing so hard. Doug the Critic is fucking hilarious. He reminds me of Weird Al. Kinda looks like him to. Seriously, put a perm curl black wig on Doug and he's a spitting image of younger Weird Al.
I see what you did there. Replacing Conan's travel music with that epic lord of the rings score. I applaud you, critic. Well done...
Nice, but the first half is undermined by the fact that Conan The Barbarian is actually a very strong movie; until LOTR came along, it was one of the finest examples of its genre. Destroyer, on the other hand...
I'm sorry, but while listening to the narrator for the first Conan movie, all I can picture in my mind is Uncle Iroh talking.
Never think thats a bad thing.
All I can picture is Aku
2:10 "But only for rugs. Only for rugs and shit, seriously!" - JonTron
Holy crap, I'm the 5.000th like! It's a shame this will be buried under all the other comments.
I still can't belive Critic resited doing a star wars joke. IMPOSSIBLE
"I don't need any mirrors! I know I'm perfect!" LOL
Ironically there is a god named Crom but he's a minor Celtic god who controlled the crops in one small area and is most famous for being defeated by saint Patrick and demanding human sacrifice. His full name Crom Cruach has a couple different translations though my favorite translation is the bloody crocked one.
Interesting information. In Dutch, "krom" also means bent or crooked.
I guess calling the guy who watched you and your men kill everyone he ever knew, including his parents, and then enslave for the rest of his childhood and all of his adolescence "my son" is a bad idea. Who knew?
I've watched this almost a hundred times yet .. priceless !LMAO
"Do you have a wheel? May I push it?" So good.
18:45 That sounds like the escort mission from hell.
All escort missions are from hell.
Jake Theberge So this one burns the hottest of them all.
Which is made funnier by the fact that she's talking to Wilt Chamberlain, who eventually wrote a book in which he claimed to have slept w/ 20,000 women.
Jake Theberge
Does that mean “The Last of Us” is an escort mission from hell?
Quickest of nitpicks, but I kind of like the fact that the lead of the barbarian movie doesn't have perfect teeth. I mean, having details like skin defects and bad teeth are ideal traits when making a movie like this.
Sword is for rug.
TheChoaticOne No thank you, friend.
TheChoaticOne Where would you like to meet?
TheChoaticOne Okay.
+facecreep Sword is for rug, not enemy.
+TheChoaticOne god you're so threatening
I heard that his commitment to the Conan movies cost Mako the role of Mr. Miyagi in the Karate Kid.
+Victor Von Doom Jr. Well, Pat Morita was very enjoyable a Mr. Miyagi, so I say it was a good thing.
+Nathaniel Levesque He ended up getting uncle Iroh, so it's okay, in the end
Maybe that's why he said yes to sidekicks
the fabulous baseball diamond LOL
I have always liked these Connan movies. I started watching them as a kid and still enjoy them to this day. It's fun and cheesy at the same time. That style of film making is gone and will probably never come back, it was a byproduct of the 80s.
+Ericsson Veiga Have you even seen Red Sonja where Arnold had some sort of Part in it?
Milius' Conan is not cheesy nor campy. It's epic and solemn.
Most people see it as cheesy but I was able to see a philosophical review of the movie and it surfaced all the fine details that make the movie pretty genuinely good rather than hipster good.
Watching a recent documentary on John Milius he hoped to make a trilogy showing the evolution of Conan. Even though Milius comes off as a bombastic ass I think he was appropriate to make this movie but sadly never got to realize his future plans. It would have been interesting to see where he might have taken Conan. I only vaguely recall Conan the Destroyer but it made no great impression on me. The original was fun and did not take itself overly serious and seemed to be a harbinger for Xena. To see this character rise above his barbarian origins, accumulating knowledge and wisdom and not just remaiin a muscle-bound goon. It made potential and I heard Arnold would be interested in resurrecting this character. I don't think this is a great idea and should have happened a few decades ago. Now that Milius has been incapacitated by a stroke it seems like a project doomed to fail.
The ending is almost exactly a carbon copy of Apocalypse Now.
As I recall, they were supposed to make Conan the King, where Conan's has to go off and save his son, prince Conn.
the reading rainbow scene kills me
I love the first one even if you find it cheesy, love the quotes!
Awww I was waiting for a Star Wars joke for the first movie. Come on, you've got some set ups:
1) James Earl Jones kidnaps a princess
2) "My son"
3) Villain with a slave girl right next to him
The first Conan is actually fucking awesome. you lied to me man.
Even if it is AWSOME it is still REALLY silly.
Matthew the Earth Adept I don't think A Schwarzenegger movie could be anything but silly :P
Matthew the Earth Adept
plus it was surprisingly smart and it challenged the idea that a bad guy in a movie is necessarily just all around bad.
Well It's a film by Jon Milius so it's not so surprising in retrospect but still ^^
Fair point.
Yann G I agree. As silly as it is, the first Conan has a certain charm to it. Also, the soundtrack by Basil Poledouris is one of the best movie soundtracks ever.
I'll forgive this movie simply because it gave us Arnold...
Do you forgive Hercules in New York? It was his first...
marcos antonio The first movie is fan fucking tastic, and both actually show story elements that were clearly inspired by Howard's stories. I noticed this as I read through a compendium of those stories (earliest material, anyway, and no comics or graphic novels). Arnold's Conan is a different character from Howard's, and much of what happens in these movies has no direct correlation in those stories.
In my critical opinion, the first film was a fine original creation that was nevertheless derived heavily from the written stories. The second film, on the other hand, did little more than rip its villain off from one written story in particular, albeit with some major changes that included blending two characters into one, and then placed him in a bad, formulaic plot that was no more worthy of Arnold's Conan character than of Howard's original.
Eric Wood Couldn't agree more "the Barbarian" is awesome beyond words. Now "the Destroyer" in the other hand...
Eric Wood Robert Howard's Conan books were totally awesome!! Thank you for mentioning them. I would suggest watching Solomon Kane movie that came out 2 years ago. it was done in Europe and is freaking absolutely tastic! also Solomon Kane books are good. If you want more along the lines of Conan, check out The Last Wish, first book in the Witcher series. Another YTer, Wyntr Loves, got me hooked on that. It's like Conan meets Dungeons and Dragons Meets bountry hunter.
GarouLady
Thanks for mentioning the Solomon Kane movie. I had no idea about that! As for those stories, I only started on the first one in my compendium, and have since left it on the back burner, meaning I do intend to get back to it and the other Howard stories contained therein. Work keeps me too damned busy to read much these days, unfortunately. Regarding the Witcher series you've mentioned, is the game series based on that, or maybe vice versa? I haven't played those, but the title naturally makes me wonder. All I know about the games is that they're set in some medieval fantasy setting.
I think that the first film is an under appreciated classic while the second one was definitely weaker. I think they should have let John Milus keep creative control over what he planned to be a trilogy. Also, for the third film, they should not have done a crappy reboot but get Arnold to reprise his role as a king and ruler.
Truer words, my friend. :)
I actually like both and really enjoy Destroyer, the thing is you have to take destroyer as it a guilty pleasure of hollywood cheese with a awesome Theme.
9:30 best use of a sound effect ever!
James Earl Jones is a part of an evil cult. Ok time for the Darth Vader jokes.
No Conan, I am your father
Join me Conan! Together we can defeat the Nostalgia Critic and the Angry Video Game Nerd
see, I respect him for not stooping automatically to Darth Vader jokes, ESPECIALLY around the "my son" scene.
"Who, now, is your father if it is not me?" "Nooooooooo! That's impossible!"
after seeing this, he'd make a a great main bad guy in something like power rangers or kamen rider
Thulsa Doom, played by James Earl Jones, was originally a villain from Robert E Howard's Kull of Atlantis stories.
i can't believe he missed a perfectly good opportunity for a darth vader joke. i mean james earl jones called arnold son.
*What kind of villain was Jones from the first film?*
He could turn into a snake, decapitate a man with a shock, control people with a look and he is in time not a bit aged as Conan was growing up!
*Why was he so easy to beat?*
Because Arnie at his peak putting all his strength behind a sword thrust could probably level a concrete bunker.
KingofCheddarCheese Or break just break the sword.
The will of CROM!
Thulsa Doom was the the son of the god set making him a demi-god which is why he did not age over time, and accounts for him turning to a snake using snake arrow's and most likely the mind control part. the reason Conan defeated him was his poor choice of words, as claiming to be Conan fathers made him think of his dead daddy giving him the strength to break the mind control to decapitate Thulsa.
20:48 - 21:03 That song is so fitting it hurts...
that headchopping scene is pretty dope. and his growth montage. well done Milius.
Also, please stop calling him 'May-koh'... it's 'mah-ko' as in "open wide, say 'aaaaaahhhhhh!". Short 'a', not long 'a'. However you are correct when you put Mako up as a modern day saint. That man was amazing. RIP general Iroh.
Willingly or not, the first Conan had a simple depth to it that made it relevant. The sequel was just a generic adventure film.
9:35 The "Goofy" - scream from the falling girl!^^
No problem with "a stone temple burns like paper"? ;-)
Conan the Barbarian is a fantasy classic. Most 80's films were appalling. Conan still holds up today. I think Arnie does a great job.
"It sucks balls! Let's watch it!"
Nostalgia Critic in a single quote.
I've always loved those films.. And always will ..
While The Destroyer does suck major balls, The Barbarian is just awesome! Hope the new Arny Conan movie will be good :)
Seba Cabré Maybe they will even use James Earl Jones again. His character was a sorcerer after all
Suggie Thames Oh, that would be sweet.
Suggie Thames
i thought he retired from acting?
Qwertys Zeldar If he did, that is a shame
Sorry folks, but Conan is a fine film. Written and directed by the great John Milius, excellent score by Basil Poledouris, and Sandahl Bergman is really, really hot. I often name my Morrowind and Oblivion characters Valeria. It's one of the best fantasy films ever made. "Conan the Destroyer"...not so good. Big disappointment.
M Chambers The Oliver Stone material wasn't used at all, though
Rembrandt Dassen but how can the first movie can be defined as "stupid" or "guilty pleasure"? I mean: if Milius' Conan is stupid or its story is bad (that is not), how can someone can possible describe real hollywood garbage of the '80s like Superman IV, Masters of the Universe or Howard the Duck?
C'mon, NC! You know it is not a bad movie, in fact troughtout all the review you just make stupid jokes instead of pointig out the stupidity of the movie.
Yes, but why making fun trying to pointing out flaws that are not flaws? It makes no sense; I mean: yes, it's funny and enjoyable nut unfair to the movie
sure I'll do :)
Watch the whole video before you comment idiot
Is it just me or does the second movie seems like a really sub par rpg ?
Can you imagine if Conan existed in Middle Earth? I feel like a dude that buff could just throw the ring into Mount Doom and end it all.
Also, the use of music from TLoTR in this review was freaking awesome!
And I liked the Princess Bride reference.
Oh come on, Mako's opening monologue is the bomb!
I love how the narrator of both movies is uncle iroh XD
Conan the barbarian is perfect.
16:22 Seen it!
I'm really surprised the Critic didn't make a Star Wars OR a Lion King joke during JEJ's "My Son" speech.
"His smoking-hot mother" hahahaaha!
18:54 This joke is funnier if you know what Wilt Chamberlain was notorious for off the court. XD
Giving special hugs to the ladies.
Rafael Trivino 20 thousand of them, according to him.
jp3813 also, that photo o Arnold and Wilt in costume on-set during shooting for Destroyer when Andre the Giant dropped by is really cool. you don't really get a sense in the movie for just how frigging -tall- Chamberlain was. he makes Arnold look like a kid in front of his dad.
dark lord of sword Not sure how that's relevant to my thread, but okay.
No really, what is an eight letter word for an uncouth person in the Dark Ages that begins with a B? Because barbarian is a nine letter word.
Conan The Barbarian was an excellent movie. There are a few mistakes, but mostly it seemed to follow the Nietzsche ideal of mobile classes and the Superman. Conan going from laborer, to slave, to warrior, to king by his own innovation and ability. It is one of the better fantasy movies ever made.. Conan the Dest was a flub.. horrid and an insult.
For what it is, "Conan the Barbarian" is a great movie and executed almost flawlessly - the world, the fights, the music ...
The premise is simple, but that does not make it "stupid".
Surprised you didn't go for the Empire Strikes Back "I...am your father." "NOOOO!" reference at 15:03.
10:41
"Blaggard."
ChickenPika Blackguard, you only pronounce it 'blaggard'.
I've seen it spelled "blaggard," but you're right, that would have been a spelling based on the pronunciation of it and not the proper spelling.
I've seen 'you' spelt as 'u', doesn't make it right :P
Honestly it is probably just a weird modern thing where spelling is changing, only reason I pulled you on it is because you were calling it out in the comments and because in the review he talks about it being 'medieval', if it was medieval then it would be 'blackguard' for sure.
Perhaps it is an American thing where 'blaggard' is coming in, or perhaps not, but it isn't accepted in Britain.
Not sure. Actually, I think where I first saw it spelt that way was Fire Emblem, so it may not be coming back anywhere. I just couldn't think of another eight-letter word for that that starts with B.
The first movie was the shit...the second movie was shit lol.
Exactly
SolarMidnight007 you know your shit
So was Krum's first name Victor?
The first Conan doesn't need to be a guilty pleasure. It's a genuinely solid movie, and much smarter than our friend Walker here is giving it credit for. No apologies for the second film, though.
One of those little fragments of bread that get all over your clothes as you eat your sandwich is a god now (Crum).
I loved both of these movies haha.
oliver stone was one of the screenwriters for the first conan movie, which was just bad-ass. the sequel... not so much. but, i think the first one represents the character , storyand universe pretty well from what i remember of the books as a kid.
but, why did thulsa doom have one of his acolytes kill herself to show a guy what real power was if *he was going to kill the guy*? seems like a waste of a good servant, no?
ryan barker It's called *mind fucking*... All the great villains do it.
It's not enough to fuck the mind of the hero; You've got to fuck every mind in the room.
Misterprickly lol, but they were already fucked, eh? no one even blinked.
ryan barker Exactly!
He had to keep up the appearance of being all powerful, less his followers doubt him.
Misterprickly turning into a snake is a pretty snazzy trick, though. were i so inclined, that might be enough for me, lol. but, i guess we have to have the villain's monologue... it wouldn't feel right without it!
ryan barker I would say it's just that his servants have no worth for him as human beings. He does not care for them and certainly has enough and can acquire even more if need be.
It is basically like picking a blossom of a bush just to make a point for him, while having a whole forest with these bushes. Nothing worth thinking over twice. At least that's my interpretation.
I am beginning to realize that this guy's criticisms often stem from his complete misunderstanding of the material he is critiquing.
tightlypackedcoil My thoughts exactly. He's fun to watch, at times, but half the time, he doesn't seem to get his point across. Some of the movies he's reviewed, I wouldn't even call them that, I'd call them "inane ramblings".
His inability to grasp what he's seeing a lot of the time is reflected in the lengthy and (even for him) super-whiney video he made where he insists that the Star Wars Prequels had good elements, and then provides hefty gobs of what he considers supportive evidence for his case. They in fact contradict it, and reinforce that the prequels are uniformly wretched, but HE JUST DOESN'T GET IT. There is opinion, and then there is simply being wrong.
ProjectFlashlight612 Nope, you're just a pretentious fuck. Just because he doesn't view the prequels cynically that doesn't mean he's wrong.
You realize that the Nostalgia Critic is just a character and doesn't necessarily reflect Doug's actual views? I have a feeling he just criticizes what he thinks will be funny.
"You don't get it" is a weak and rather lame response to something.
I love Conan the Barbarian, its such a great fun Sword & Sandals flick, Conan the Destroyer wasn't as good but it did have some good moments.
BTW first time I saw this in the theater (yes I am that old) at roughly 9:14 someone in the theater said very loudly "Look, Doomies" (reference to Korean church cult "Moonies") and the entire audience LOLed
Conan the Barbarian is one of my guilty pleasures, every time i see it on i watch it
is it just me or are the endings to these movies with the nerator kinda like what some RPG games we play now look like?
How did they not choose Milius to direct the sequel? How could Richard Fleischer make such a horrible movie?
CESSKAR because he's the son of max fleischer(the animator) and he does what he wants.
One thing I disliked about the movies is they portrayed Conan as stupid; the novels and comics never did.
actually even in the comics he wasnt all that smart, he did get smarter as the series went on though. lots of people mistake efficiency as smart. cant say he was stupid in the comics exactly more simple minded.
Qwertys Zeldar Cunning is the word I'd use for the comics.
theScytheofGod
thank you, that's a much better way to put it.
@@qwertythorn756 I guess that whole confusion between being smart and bing afficient really reers its head, in recent years. Especially when sleazebags like Ben Shapiro started spewing that "facts over feelings" fallacy.
Please go easy on the Governator, He's a childhood hero of mine :-(
i always loved the de-cap scene at the end of barbarian how without a word he shows off the head to the cult and pitches it down the steps
Am I the only one who thinks the Conan in the remake should have been played by Dalip Singh (The Great Khali, that huge dude from The Longest Yard, and the giant Arabian in Get Smart)? I mean, Conan was always the strongest man shown in his story. I couldn't really see Jason Momoa pulling that off.
Yes you are!
Conan was never meant to be the biggest guy on the story.
If Conan was a giant then... where's the fucking challenge?
Even in the books, Conan faced larger people than himself.
But he was always shown to be the strongest. And beyond that, Singh looked more like Conan. He had the brow, the dark eyes, the hair. He looked more like a barbarian.
Yeah you're alone on that one. Dalip can barely fucking speak understandable English and his ability to actually move around is kind of hampered by his massive frame. He's no actor and I just don't think do well in that role. Maybe an opponent to Conan, but not as Conan. I care less about how much an actor looks like the character and more about how they portray the character
Yes, you are the only one
Pretty much lol
It's CROOOOOM not CRUMB!!!
Wait.... Was that narrator Iroh from Avatar (The cartoon not the movie é.é)?!
Uncle Iroh was a great narrator!
*Sees ending of Conan the Destroyer*
Me: "Thank you for the insight, General Iroh."
Princess Jehna or whatever her name is (the blonde one from Conan the Destroyer) is friggin' beautiful! She's the full package for me... Marriage material (look wise) Tanned skin, blonde hair, nice beautiful big brown eyes, big lips and big beautiful breasts. Wow! Her name is Olivia d'Abo.
She's also 15 in this movie.
TheLordUrban To think of it, she actually reminds me of Chloe Grace Moritz (sp?). Friggin' Beautiful.
Good luck with a marriage that will inevitably end in a divorce. *waves scarf in farewell*
virgins are considered 'pure' and thus worthy of sacrifice to the 'Gods' :P lots of early religions practiced this
+Nate's Life But if you kill off all the pure women than you will only have a village of prostitutes left!!!
+hackman669 There will never be a shortage of virgins.
as long as people are fuckinh
Nate's Life
Isn't that the opposite?
+hackman669 He meant the children being born from the fucking.
Also virgin has two meanings.
1.exactly what you think.
2.her blood not having been used in a demonic ritual.
So (hopefully) a lot of people are still technically virgins
Shinjiro Hitsuguya
This is why cult leaders should be hanged!!
Actually, I can see most of the things our dear Nostalgia Critic sees, but when he bashes things that just follow the source material rather fine it just becomes him trying too hard... Crom is a stupid name for a God? Well, uh, OK? I guess Jesus and Allah are much better..
And the way you pray to Crom is entirely different than christianity or whatever you think is "correct praying in a fantasy universe": Crom despises weakness, and awards strength. He does not grant requests, he grants demands. Not that he meddles much with any mortals really, but point is: That seems like a proper Crom prayer in my head.
I'm not a huge Conan fan, but I know bits and pieces from here and there.
you do know that his reviews are supposed to be funny right? you really arent supposed to take them so seriously. why cling on to something he just kinds of says once for like a second? by the beard of crom you are waaaay more nitpickier than he is
"Jesus" and "Allah" ARE lame god names.
And also Jehovah.
Just sayin'.
Ryan Park fanboy
Juan D'Marco I agree, I was sarcastic on the previous comment.
7PlayingWithFire7 I LOVE THE NC!
The Monster at 26:45 is played by none other than 1980s wrestling star, Andre the Giant.
"guard i told you to watch the castle while i was a snake!" thats my favorite part and i don't know why xD
Fuck this critic... man, only 6 minutes far and I already have the hiccups from this review...
Can I have a wheel now?
No.
***** Why not?
MrRacinger322 Because we are out of wheels. Now go away.
dont watch, leave us alone please
He was suppose to be in the burial chamber of King Kull
You claim that the movie's soundtrack is some of the best you have ever heard, and yet you keep playing Lord of the Ring's instead of Conan's soundtrack... Lol.
The part where Subatai and Conan are travelling together is such good music. I was looking forward to hearing it when watching this review. Go see the ending of the never ending story 2 review and you will see the same reaction i had as the nostalgia critic did when the LoTR music came on...
The sound the wizard was making came from the metals bracers on his forearms, i thought that was obvious.
At the end, when Mako is talking, all I can picture is Iroh!