Відео

I had to replay Janina's definition of trauma....I'm surprised to hear her say that a shut down, unspeaking parent is not traumatic. I think it is traumatic for the child to not be able to access the parent emotionally. Unmet emotional needs leave the child to their own devices when they do not have the devices developed yet to manage that.

Recently discovered Toko-pa Turner, beautiful lyrical speaker ❤‍🔥🌺💖✨

What a distinctly precise definition of trauma, thanks

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So soothing and validating to hear this talk.

Neglect is trauma. Unavailable parents equals trauma. Neglect is the core of trauma

I just loved this conversation, I felt hugged and cared for. I felt inspired to love the people in my circle and to feel their love. Two beautiful people, thank you!

Wow! Thank you so much for sharing this video! FINALLY, I UNDERSTAND! 😭

Laura Parker’s observation / question regarding loneliness and one’s disconnection is so apt . If , as Jung says , dissociation leads to a sort of ‘soul death’ it makes sense that a trauma survivor is limited in their ability to revel in the mystery of existence .

No you're wrong Janina. It is not a memory. It is reality and it needs to be validated in itself to feel less lonely. Loneliness is a DISCONECTION from self. I can VERY WELL remember the events of childhood and being SOOOO alone e no one to come help me n then alienating from myself making me more lonely True trauma survivors don't go on to 'develop' relationships family etc they stay HIDDEN from society from SHAME Loneliness feels like DEATH

In trauma -there is no way of explaining the feelings and the sensitivity that you reproduce it from inside out, yes. From basic lack of trust and then the feelings are reproduce over within. It is more than developing compassion for self because they do not know how-this now needs to be used for adult. It is a form of rejection of self …distancing others also becomes a habit of our culture. I also believe the pandemic can create more trauma that connects to the child inside.

Thank's for this fantastic interview that I'm listening from France 🙏🙏🙏

Thank you for explaining what is going on with me. It finally makes sense

What's so wrong with being alone?

Thank you for this wonderfully well delivered short talk on trauma and loneliness, it is so deeply insightful and beautifully delivered.

I have had severe disassociation for months and cry a lot. I wonder if that’s what is happening. It makes sense.

I believe there is a contradiction between what she says in the beginning and the rest of the interview. She basically says that having withdrawn, depressed parents is not trauma, it is just painful. Then she talks for the rest of the interview about the trauma of not being seen or reciprocated which leads to loneliness. In my opinion, everything is trauma depending on the sensitivity of your nervous system. If a child feels unseen by detached and depressed parents, that will he overwhelming for his nervous system because he will feel there is no one there to support of help them at an age when all they have is their parents. So no, it is not "painful", it is "trauma". And we are a traumatized generation as a result of bad parenting during capitalism.

😔😞

I think people sense when you have unresolved conflicts. So much of our interactions are subconscious. I think there’s a vibration given off when there is a lot of internal conflict going on and that could scare people away so you end up re-creating the situation you grew up with

The book she mentions at the end, Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors, is GOLD... I ABSOLUTELY recommend anyone, client and clinician, get this book for themselves or their practice. It rides the line of intellectual, scientific and personal, relational, allowing for a better understanding of how to approach a mind that, in some cases, is not neurotypical and, in many cases I presume, not behaving neurotypically. Therefore, whether from the outside or in it offers an approach and an understanding that goes beyond general psychology’s blanket statement for the definition of “PTSD”, and actually goes to the source: the fragile and in this case fragmented ego, the self... you. I’m not going to pretend that it’s an easy read; part of the reason I, a speed reader, take an hour to get through 7 pages is because there is so much insight and information packed into each page it’s almost hard to process at times. Since the topic here is loneliness I can honestly say that the book’s scope, a depth of knowledge relevant to experiences, losses and triumphs I have every day because of what I have been through, has helped me to challenge my need to suffer in silence and alone. Thank you, Dr. Fisher!

Thank you so much for this. A question, if you don't mind. At the beginning of the video Ms. Fisher mentions that she uses the definition of trauma as defined by Karen ... the last name sounds like "Sack Vitny" (spelling?) Who is the person (Karen...S-V?) Ms. Fisher is refers to? I have tried googling all permutations of the spelling of the name that I can think of and have come up with nothing. Thanks in advance.

Thank you to both presenters for this conversation. So insightful and so well expressed :)

I'm lonely to death I have severe cptsd and avpd and as result I spent my entire life lonely and now decade home disabled unpaired

thank you so much Laura for this great interview with Toko-pa. I am reading her book now and can't seem to get enough. I'm hoping to relearn the skill set for belonging. Thank for taking on this much needed conversation.

If you need a mother or a big sister, here's your gal.

Excellent interview! feel extremely grateful for this talk. It is profound and speaks to the necessity of community as essential in turning toward sorrow. How our do it yourself culture expects we do it all on the inside but doesn’t recognize the need to have community to witness and hold it. Both actions interior and exterior are important. He is very poetic and soulful in his imagining our soul singularly in its sovereignty and in intimacy. Thank you💗

So grateful that you uploaded this

feeling sad. i really wanted to listen to francis. couldn't go beyond 6 minutes. i felt he was struggling. because, sadly, (sorry laura) laura for some reason seemed to be absent. maybe she was anxious about bringing out the best for her audience. but that affected her presence, and - i feel - affected the liveliness and flow of francis.

John 14:6

Touching and beautiful, I recognise so much. Thank you Francis and Laura! Greetings from Amstelveen Holland

Thanks to both of you for this conversation. I'm watching this series on a night where I'm facing my ow loneliness and ancestral trauma.

Just started watching this series of videos. Thank you so much for what you've done here. I'm learning important things and getting solace from them.

Thank you for sharing the story of your sister's legacy and the fabric of the universe being love. Very touching. You are both such wonderful women...so happy to be hearing from you!

Love to two questions...lots of wisdom. I am looking forward to more videos!

"Community is the performance of brokenness, the noticing of our mutuality and porousness". So relevant to what is happening in New Zealand at the moment.

Thank you for the opportunity to be part of Transforming Loneliness Laura! I love what you are doing here.

I am only halfway through this and it is helping me immensely!

Great interview Laura! I really enjoyed it.

This was very good, thankyou