Ehsun Anwar
Ehsun Anwar
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The Mother Wound In Men
For details on the Peace Program, click this link: ehsun.co.uk/the-peace-program/
For more of my content, follow me on Instagram: ehsun_anwar
In this video, I talk about the most common form of the mother wound that I see in my coaching sessions.
(the audio quality is a bit lower because I had a fan on, but hopefully its good enough for you to enjoy)
Most traditional men were raised by a stay at home mother who was very sweet and caring, but who was also overwhelmed with running the house. So she couldn't actually give him the amount of emotional attention and calmness that he craved as a young boy. He felt a degree of isolation from her. And, he usually noticed in his early years that she was treated as an inferior by his father. The combination of sensing the stress in his mother and not receiving the warm connection that he wanted from her + seeing her not being treated with respect and affection by his father, set him up to become a highly wounded man, who learned to relate to women in a damaged and disconnected way.
Some men were raised by a single-mom, or a mother who was dominant over his father in the house. She was very critical, driven, and controlling. This creates a hurt and inadequate sense of self, and a deep resentment against women that will flow into his current relationship. Sometimes, this resentment actually shows up as him being a pleaser, feeling unable to assert boundaries with her.
Переглядів: 9 755

Відео

The Father Wound In Men
Переглядів 5 тис.Рік тому
On Sunday October 1st 2023 5pm UK I will be hosting an online Masterclass: Healing The Father Wound Use this link to book your ticket: BookEhsun.as.me/fatherwound ​ ​This is for you if you resonate with my work on the father wound, and is open to all ages and genders, as the dynamics of this wound can manifest in anyone. I will be opening a safe space for the deepest healing to take place for a...
The Mother Wound In Men
Переглядів 4,4 тис.Рік тому
The mother wound in men ranges on a spectrum from mild to extreme (the father wound can also be the main issue) ​ ​Ultimately, he is suffering inside and is probably holding anger. So he grasps for mothering from women, or wants power and validation through achieving to compensate for the oppression that his inner child feels ​ ​He is in no position to provide emotional nurturing to you (or eve...
The Father Wound In Women
Переглядів 8 тис.Рік тому
As with any wound, the severity and variations are many. But, it is a father’s emotional absence, that does the damage. This can be through a father who: ​ ​- Was passive and couldn’t protect his daughter from her overly critical mother ​- Was a workaholic and didn’t talk about feelings ​- A father who’s presence she feared, because he was explosive, overly critical, or an addict of some sort ​...

КОМЕНТАРІ

  • @Goddessrksh1111
    @Goddessrksh1111 18 годин тому

    Wow beautifully said

  • @AliciaBrown-vw9uk
    @AliciaBrown-vw9uk День тому

    My jaw dropped when you said he won't talk 😢

  • @marvfromthecity
    @marvfromthecity 19 днів тому

    This is totally me without me ever realizing it. Thank you my good sir.

  • @d821010
    @d821010 19 днів тому

    100% SPOT ON! Thank you for sharing. Now the biggest challenge is: How to make him raise his awareness to this, when he believes that all his anger, resentment and frustration is caused by me, his girlfriend and thinks that introducing him this idea would be an act of manipulation? Another question I have is, why do they show attentive care and compassion to all other women friends or acquaintances outside of the relationship, while being closed down and guarded inside of the relationship?

  • @jennaalkhabi1229
    @jennaalkhabi1229 19 днів тому

    Wow. Well said. Thank you so much.

  • @jennaalkhabi1229
    @jennaalkhabi1229 19 днів тому

    GOLD ✨❤️‍🩹

  • @wayfarinstranger2444
    @wayfarinstranger2444 20 днів тому

    One has to learn to cope with pain, period. Being enmeshed with one person for too long is the problem. The most healthy of people I see have a variety of people around them in their circle. A support system that has a positive influence, so when there is a problem, one can work it out. Or have the space and time to work it through. The worst person to be around is the self righteous critical one that refuses to self evaluate or offer assistance to others in need. Absolutely. One must not be the doormat to another. Always know your self worth! And absolutely have boundaries.😊

  • @jyotivyas9286
    @jyotivyas9286 20 днів тому

    Super duper hit..👌💐😮It is very Strange...hmm. New Revealation... Thankyou jee brother. 😊ॐ नमः शिवाय। 🎉💐

  • @grabbelton
    @grabbelton 21 день тому

    He again projected his mother on my. I don't take that anymore.

  • @momione11
    @momione11 Місяць тому

    This was my dad .And later found this kind of men.But i learnd.And i heald myself. I Become addicted too this.But no more ever.When this comes i get sick in my body.And this was my mothers husband and other man.So i saw what it did to my mother.This become me and my grandmother to please when he was mean.

  • @supermario1006
    @supermario1006 Місяць тому

    My X

  • @ummjunayd1511
    @ummjunayd1511 Місяць тому

    I loved him so much and he did try so hard to be vulnerable and available and we navigated it so well initially but he eventually sabotaged everything as I unconsciously triggered him and it’s sad. I’ll probably always care about him but I’m scared he’ll randomly pull away again which is so painful because I’m so triggered by abandonment. He’s a beautiful soul and I hope he finds peace but I don’t think it can be me though.

  • @cherryxcherie3950
    @cherryxcherie3950 Місяць тому

    100%

  • @taracook85
    @taracook85 Місяць тому

    How can i get my husband to acknowledge these wounds?

  • @taracook85
    @taracook85 Місяць тому

    My husband is leaving me and divorcing me because his mother wounds are so deep that he refuses to even acknowledge that he even has these wounds and has convinced himself that I'm the cause of all of his inner turmoil. Sir , EVERY WORD i just listened to describes the hell I'm experiencing. I'm absolutely devastated because until he acknowledges the real issues, that inner turmoil he's holding me accountable for will never go away, even when I do

    • @katekayak
      @katekayak 14 днів тому

      Same here. I told him boldly that he always wears a mask and that I am constantly searching him.

  • @bealright1186
    @bealright1186 Місяць тому

    I literally cried, i don't know what to say i have a lot to say but i was raise by a single mother and i had to live with my aunt from 5-11 years. I still remember how much i cried for my mom, i didn't had a father figure in my life so i still don't know how handle fights, shouting or being ridiculed or judged. I'm very very sensitive to attachments and I'm very very scared of commitments, i had 2 relationship recently and i was cheated in 1 relationship and in another relationship she was head over heels for me but i was scared what my mom will tell, if she knew I'm in a relationship.(i come from typical Indian muslim family). So its a shame to have relationship. I don't have hobbies, likes, friends, relationship, enemies. Nothing. And I'm very scared to achieve good thing or earn more money. I want to fix my life. I'm doing little by little by self to heal my self. Just writing here to feel light in my chest.

    • @ashleyobrien5791
      @ashleyobrien5791 Місяць тому

      @bealright1186 thank you for sharing, sounds like you are beginning the journey of healing, that’s going to allow you to help others too who had a similar experience. Just take it one day at a time. We have to remember our parents only did what their capacity and understanding allowed, but now you can break that cycle and heal for future generations to come. Way to go , you can be a trailblazer

  • @coraimacarmona
    @coraimacarmona Місяць тому

    Thank you for this amazing video

  • @solid3793
    @solid3793 2 місяці тому

    I don't care anymore, they abandoned me so will I.

    • @akshat1629
      @akshat1629 2 місяці тому

      Who abandoned you brother?

  • @musicallife3981
    @musicallife3981 2 місяці тому

    Please do father wounds for both too and mother wounds for women. 🙏

  • @leslielou4970
    @leslielou4970 2 місяці тому

    He would be pissed if I shared this video with him. He’s rejected all videos I’ve shared

  • @leslielou4970
    @leslielou4970 2 місяці тому

    My Dad always scoffed at my career ideas as a kid. I self loathed for a long time

  • @leslielou4970
    @leslielou4970 2 місяці тому

    He can’t see it. He refuses counseling or anything similar. His behavior is unpredictable and he projects it all on me. His perception is king for him.

  • @TatianaStreeter97
    @TatianaStreeter97 2 місяці тому

    This was the hardest relationship of my life.

  • @s.a.m4482
    @s.a.m4482 2 місяці тому

    My dad was all 3

  • @carrielegg5480
    @carrielegg5480 2 місяці тому

    This is the best authentic video i have ever seen. I don't feel so alone hearing this video. I pray that things will start to change between my mom and I.

  • @carrielegg5480
    @carrielegg5480 2 місяці тому

    Im going through this with my mom. I talk to her daily. I love my mom. Its very painful these terrible fights we get into. I feel deep pain. It hurts me so much. I feel sad, not good enough, unloved. My heart is broken. Yes im not adequate. My mom is very critical. I have grown so much too. I even lost 225lbs and maintaining for 15yrs now. So I get confused why can't I get past this? I have done deep inner work around this for years now.

  • @alisonadenis-sickofibs
    @alisonadenis-sickofibs 2 місяці тому

    Wow. So well explained.

  • @AverageAufa
    @AverageAufa 2 місяці тому

    I wonder how many men vs women watched this video. 😢 It feels like the wife/gf are trying and trying but the husband/bf don’t even want to acknowledge anything

  • @barbaragood7844
    @barbaragood7844 2 місяці тому

    Thank you 🌼

  • @barbaragood7844
    @barbaragood7844 2 місяці тому

    Brilliant✨Bravo!

  • @stadium999
    @stadium999 2 місяці тому

    Thanks man

  • @cbrumigin4107
    @cbrumigin4107 2 місяці тому

    My God this is very, very good. Thank you for this video so much, God bless you 🙏

  • @msa565
    @msa565 2 місяці тому

    I have both mother and father and poverty wound and i dont know how to even receive that type of love, i feel like an abused animal

  • @ts381
    @ts381 2 місяці тому

    I wish I could send my ex to you. Not for the relationship. He needs to heal for the next person. Otherwise these type of people keep spreading their wounds like contagious disease

  • @kevinmai2947
    @kevinmai2947 3 місяці тому

    Nice video! Keep 'em coming!

  • @Zphora
    @Zphora 3 місяці тому

    Simple and well explained Thankyou..a dismissive avoidant I met def had this. Makes sense. Just wondering Could you maybe come closer or have brighter lighting? Just helps to connect. Thanks again

  • @FatimaZahra-oe6br
    @FatimaZahra-oe6br 3 місяці тому

    Salam from Morocco ❤️

  • @FatimaZahra-oe6br
    @FatimaZahra-oe6br 3 місяці тому

    Unbelievable how straight to the point and pertinent this video is !! First time I see this channel 🎉🎉🎉 cudos .. bravo !

  • @FatimaZahra-oe6br
    @FatimaZahra-oe6br 3 місяці тому

    ❤❤❤

  • @longingforjannah
    @longingforjannah 3 місяці тому

    You...Are...Brilliant. The way you explained this is so simple yet deep enough to open up and uncover much unawareness. I'm truly grateful. Thank you so much.

  • @VanyaHolisticLiving
    @VanyaHolisticLiving 3 місяці тому

    Thank you. Very good and comprehensive explanation. And I appreciate your compassion and calm. Would love to hear your take on the golden child dynamics. How a glorified, pampered boy may be traumatised, have low self-esteem (as his true self was never seen / wanted etc.) and become a narcissist as adult. Glorification of sons (in certain countries / cultures like India) often results in their self-entitlement and really toxic relationship behaviour...

  • @Hebsparks
    @Hebsparks 3 місяці тому

    Coming out of a 6 year relationship with someone with CPTS, DID, as well as complex bodily challenges. My inability to do this level of work made everything worse & we both suffered due to it. We both did our work as hard as we had the capacity for but it eventually was too overwhelming and we, for both of our own mother/father wounds, needed independence in order to focus on solely that. The trauma bonding wasn’t going to sustain us or give us a stable foundation. The clarity of this is amazing, thank you so much. I wish I could have come across it 4 years ago - but such as it is. I am grateful to be doing the work now. * I am also finding Alexander Lowen’s work very very helpful! The book “Fear of Life”. In the introduction alone he articulates the neurotic nature of our culture in a profound way.

  • @robbys100
    @robbys100 3 місяці тому

    Well said bro... well fuckin said.

  • @devinl8487
    @devinl8487 3 місяці тому

    It's so hard to stay. I am a wife that has wounds too. I try to be better and not stay in victim mode.

  • @edwardbaylis4647
    @edwardbaylis4647 3 місяці тому

    This describes me and I want to deal with it to give my wife the best me… but how? How do I deal with this 😢

  • @Nextlevelyo
    @Nextlevelyo 3 місяці тому

    How do you get someone to understand this wo getting defensive

  • @omarelrafhi9595
    @omarelrafhi9595 3 місяці тому

    great video ! can you please make a video about father wound in men ?

  • @naturalwomanhairandskincar9512
    @naturalwomanhairandskincar9512 3 місяці тому

    Thank you so much for answering your calling ❤

  • @jarhonda2702
    @jarhonda2702 3 місяці тому

    My Ex is a Narcissist because of this

  • @PatriciaHinojos-k3m
    @PatriciaHinojos-k3m 4 місяці тому

    This was an amazing piece. Completely informative. I have been trying to understand some seemingly disconnected actions from someone I care about great deal about. This untangled so much of it. Your ability to explain the complexities of the soul is truly a great gift. Thank you.