Відео

im not angry at Him, i MISS him. ive been out of the army for 6 months now with no job and i feel lost, not ambition, no faith, no NOTHING 😢 ive been actively seeking employment and nothing, i pray to him to guide me on HIS path. i miss US. 😔

god dont love me yall, at least that is how my heart feel. idk anyone strongr than me, and i go thru the worst stuff. i am everyones encourager, motivationer, mentor, healer,etc. my heart and soul is gentle, almost like a child. yet i experience the most embarrasing shit ever. it is written that god is not an embarassing god, but yet i am always faced with the most embarassing subjects. homelessness, for 3yrs back in 2015. and 2wks ago, the repo man came to get my car. sngle mom, 7yr old. he still doesnt know we dont have a car. all his curriculum activities, my job, etc? it is over. i am broke. and guess what? i am educated. graduated from college may 2023. cum laude. deans lister. i am constantly rebuilding myself, trying to be better than yesterday, but i feel like i live in an invisible dome where everytime i shoot for the stars, i get shot back down -10 feet deeper. why? i have practiced 6yrs of celibacy, after son father left us, i have fought thru the depression on my own bc i was determined to raise my son in a healthy mind. he is worth it. and doesnt deserve any lesser than. my road is hard yall. my road is embarassing. 42yrs old. and still cant maintain. not because im not trying but something is against me. and whatever it is, god allows it. i pray, fast, abstinence, i make sacrifices ppl clown me for. husbands are the most single men it seems. they offer me nice things and guess what? my big dumb broke stupid ass reject them ALL. why? bc my mom taught me better. she said god looks down on the adulterer or mistress. she said god will look at you like a filthy rag, decaying rotten bones. and who wants to be looked at like that by the one in charge of your life as well as my beloved son? who wants that karma? you know. i have never laid down with a married man. but all i keep thinking is, if i wouldve accepted these men offers, id still have my car man. i feel stupid af trying to be decent when god wont even respect my efforts man. what efforts? the efforts of dilligently and adamantly seeking employment in the field of my studies. i been applying since may 2023, immediately after graduation. guess what, nothing? super slow success, or failure, idek anymore. they say faith without works are dead. so i put my foot forward and still. no one sees me. not one yes. and im qualified yall. how would u feel? what would u do? doesnt everyone have a breaking point? doesnt god know that? why he have to allow so much pressure on the good ones man? is he arrogant? does he thnk we wont backslide? if my 7yr old son come into my room, heavy laden and burdened, id ease it for him, even if i have to talk tough to him, tough love. but his pain is my pain. and when i say i love him, i do. do u think i would allow him to suffer? why god doesnt treasure me the way i treasure my creation? let me tell u something. what i have summerized in my life is this. being good, sweet kind genuine etc etc, is wack af. that ish only got me compliments and smiles. that shit wack. they say blondes have more fun. i say bad heartless souless people have more fun. but wait, its not about fun, its about withstanding, taking care of self, family, home. i did find a job at the Y but they dont pay me my worth and im not even salary. only getting 16hr paychecks. it was bound to happen, me losing my car. but i had decent credit so i kept it for over a year on credit cards and bank loans. now the creditors come to collect. i have no where to turn now. no parents. no husband or boyfriend, no God, and now no job. i just got set back even farther than i was when i was tryig to get out of this jam. why god never saw my efforts? i burst in every directors and management office at my job begging for a higher position for months. why none of them help me? why god let my efforts go unnoticed? being homeless broke me. and i never cursed god thru it all. i didnt have a child at that time Dec of 2014- Dec 2017. but just the other day, i cant beliveve i cursed god. i think i said f u. (hanging head low and ashamed) Im no sitting duck. i dont want handouts im friggin 42 trying to master financial literacy, investments property stock brokerage accounts and all, so that i can teach my son. break chains so he wont fall poor and needy and at the mercy of folk favor. that type of liviing for a black man is dangerous. well, anyway, no one can talk to me about god. no one can talk to me about faith. i dont wanna hear any of the cliche shit tbh. i turned to this video bc by nature, i am always hopeful, by nature i am optimistic, bubbly, naturally happy, easy to smile, i find the silfver lining in all things. but just like i cried out to god when my mom was on her dying bed when i was 25, to save her, he didnt. where is this god yall? lmao thru tears bc whew! he is not like me. i naturally try to take away folk pain. strangers idek. oh well.. im alive tho right? thats the blessing right? well thanks. bc since i have a child, thats the only reason im grateful for life. but my life is ass. and i try so hard. i was gone leave my cash app for those who read and felt moved to help me get my car back, but somehow, i think that it will devalue my comment. it seems like it would take away the value of what i am saying. plus, they already sent me a notice of selling property Monday November 4th after 8am. so just like when i got evicted dec of 2014, i sat at my coffee table and pured a stiff drink of bourbon, toasted in the air to god and said, just stay by my side and please allow me to come out of it with all 2000 body parts, functional and all. prayer answered. I will ask god the same bc this time is different. i have a child now, im older and i have achilles tendinitis issues. god is tough yall. i will ask him but why did he even allow this knowing how hard i was trying to find employment? like why? all those jobs? and nothing? why god? for fuckin what man? this is painful, but it isnt as bad as losing a home. so whatever. anyways. idk. i just dont know. but what i do know is god is tough and being a good person does not serve me. peace peace and blessings to the reader 🐞🌻

But whay do you do when your whole family is depressing and you cant get out of it, i feel like my family is so sad all the time and their just comfortable with living like that

You are answering my prayer. Thank you! However, proverbs 18:21 and Mark 11:23 said that our words are powerful.

Very insightful! Thank you! Whatever I do, I want god to be in it and for him to give me light!

Amen🙏🏾

I’m really mad at god not gonna lie

When I indulged in manifestation, the “blessings” were temporary and led me to pain. Praying to god has brought me long term prosperity and healing and more than I could ever ask for ❤ thank you for the video

Actial video starts at 3:55

God bless you. Can I share my Testimony with you? ua-cam.com/video/ZhIpEulfJ7s/v-deo.htmlsi=sE8Qpu8VJUxYhDQB ua-cam.com/video/xGqK8dt0O2Q/v-deo.htmlsi=ZttRfyL30ZOB6_Oe

Thank you for this word. I needed this in the moment. I pray God continues to bless, strengthen and speak through you. Amen!

If my life were a ticket and i could hand it over to God, i would have done it years ago....i am SO sick and tired of life....i have no ambition, hope, drive, future.....i just want to go "home" and be tucked away in heaven.

I just deleted all my social media I was mainly on (instagram & snapchat). I been deleted the other ones (FB, TT, Twitter). I am a millennium and been on social media since it came out. So definitely past 10 years. I feel GOD and I came to a mutual agreement for me to let it go permanently. I came back to social media after a 3 month fast, and when I got back nothing changed. I was just over social media and how it emerged from what it was back then to what it is now. I want to live the rest of my life in private and in the moment. I don't want to feel obligated to take pictures of regular or intimate moments. Also me comparing myself with others became too much. And honestly everyone on social media puts up a facade, it's just too fake for me. I don't care to go back to it I want to focus on my UA-cam channel and keep spreading the truth about GOD and his Son JESUS CHRIST!!✝️💕

I been there still struggling with this...I feel like God and Modern Day Black and Brown Women Only Care About Non Blacks

Kiki,Gurll where have you beeen…. We miss you hope all is well💓

Law of attraction led me down the darkest path of my life. I got "sleep paralysis" every night but it was spiritual warfare. Jesus saved me from it all. I think what you said summed it up perfectly, when you said manifestation is trusting your own desires and your own will over trusting God's will. I thought that was an absolutely beautiful way to say it. we are flawed, sometimes we think things are good for us but they really are not. we should not always get what we want, but we should get what leads us to be better. thank you for this video

My problem is I often feel like God is angry at ME. It stems from trauma and perfectionism (also from my upbringing). I struggle understanding God’s love for me. :(

Your video really made me think about a similar situation I went through, and I just started sharing my testimony in parts. It’s interesting how different perspectives can shed light on issues we all face.

The God we pray to and believe in is not our God, this is The King James Version of God. You were in your down season because you believed in a false God

ABSOLUTELY LOVEDDDDD THIS VIDEOOOOO❤❤God is using u frrr!! Your voice is so calming it makes everything better 😍

Girl I miss you!

You have been made whole !!!

As a Godly woman, we not supposed to wear fake hair

The issue lies in the fact that most individuals are not receiving the necessary support from God in times of need. Furthermore, Christians are failing to adequately assist those who require help. Instead, common responses such as "I will pray for you," "You need to have more faith in God," "Trust in God's timing," and "It's not God's plan" are often used. Unfortunately, these phrases do not provide the necessary assistance. Christians should have the ability to meet the needs of others. If those who are supposed to represent God cannot offer something concrete to demonstrate the validity of their message, then what good is God to people?

I would be careful saying that you can ask God to manifest into your life... People are doing manifestation in the name of Jesus or giving God the glory. We need to pray accordingly to His will, not manifest anything, and yes prayer according to His will and delight ourselves in Him, then He will bring the best for us. ❤

Well done 👍🏿

Being mad at God happens, it either makes us fall to a low spiritual place or lifts us up to higher ground.

this helped a lot thank you.

How does manifesting to the universe correlate to bringing in negative energies and everything else.. if god is the creator and the universe is part of him how does manifesting to the universe for your desire and feeling fulfilled, confident etc a bad thing.. i feel this is very contradictory

thankyou for this!

I have been trying manifesting through affirming and it just seems like a waste of mental energy now, you would think that after months of focusing so much on the right thoughts there would be some noticeable change, but I can't see any. So the question isn't just about relation to faith but about if it actually works, from what I can see it doesn't and there hasn't been any improvement compared to the usual old way when I used to just function in normal mode without trying to focus on having the right thoughts. At least if you accept that this reality isn't perfect and aren't hyped up about expecting everything going your way it's easier to accept life as it is and not get disappointed.

Much love kiki❤

It doesn't matter what i do , God has more important things than me , i'd rather he tell me that he doesn't want me anymore than to be silent , God has never been real to me , you don't understand where i'm coming from , to hear the message of the rapture which is being preached more than how to have a relationship with God , i hate God because he didn't help me and he never will, if only i were never born.

It's so scary. It's hurts and I'm so angry at God. Like I'm so mad at God. And it's growing. On the one hand He has fully delivered me from alcoholism, addiction, cigarettes, porn, musterbation and all that, those are things ive prayed for and God has TAKEN AWAY ONE BY ONE AMEN, however when it comes to jobs, my finances, my lack of career. My dying UA-cam channel,not meeting my husband. So many things. Like I can't even afford to buy panties, but He has also delivered me. So I feel so bad. Yet so angry. Yes I have no desire to read the word or pray.

What about the verse in the bible that states the power of life and death is in the tongue?

I'm 42 years old, I had so many things going wrong with work and men. I have always loved God and served him. If he didn't give me the things till now, why shouldn't I try something else, honestly? A woman disappointed by God

I am not in the best phase of my life honestly, so today as I was in church praying I asked for an encounter with God, and I felt the urge to delete all the social media apps,, I came home and I couldn't but after this and realizing how it potrays fakeness honestly I decided to quit and wait for God's redirection. Thankyou for this❤

As a Christian investigating myself and seeking answer about manifesting and all the new age stuff, LOA and Goddard etc... , As alway's that i'm aware of and we still need to keep in mind are between @9:00 and @10:30 Thank you and God bless

What of WhatsApp, what's your take? Because yoo I'm so overwhelmed.

What of WhatsApp, what's your take? Because yoo I'm so overwhelmed.

I lost hope ion believe in God any more

Thank you for this video I feel at the moment that I no longer love Jesus as much as before so I needed it. Be careful not to say oh my gosh anymore because it distorts the name of God to say it in vain so it is not good. God bless you and guide you❤

Today My bm asked me did I manifest for something. I simply told her no I just pray to Jesus about it. She started goin off on me I immediately hung up.

This makes perfect sense, thank you. 💜

I agree with all these points! SO amazing. Interesting that out of all the eras of tiktok, christian tiktok was the one that led me to delete it. 😭 Most people on there are literally why people don't take Christians as serious, we use it more for our own gain rather than to truly spread the word of God and allow him to see the TRUE beauty of his kingdom. (internal kingdom) & The "season of singleness" I never thought about how toxic that can be for women who have not found God's purpose for them. I believe single or married you still have your own purpose to fulfill that should serve God's kingdom. 💜

I miss you... I hope you're fine ❤😊

This really fed my soul and was exactly what I needed today. Thank you!

"God doesn't give you temporary, he gives you permanent." whew, the peace everyday is crazy and I don't have to work hard for it anymore accept love God and others.

I deleted instagram for like two years and for some reason I thought I needed to come back 12/24/23 … and now it’s 4/5/24 and I need to gtf asap I spend some much time on it it’s sad I got it down to motivational people but i still need to distance myself again. I love UA-cam and Pinterest so much though . Pinterest inspires me

Thank you Jesus ❤❤