Відео

You are so welcome! I am glad to know it landed for you, thank you for sharing that with me 🥰

It is absolutely my pleasure. Thank you for watching 🙏🏻

I love that! I am from Colorado, born and raised.

That is such a deeply complicated question. I believe at the end of the day it doesn't really matter why they act the way they do, whether because they are narcissistic or otherwise, because the damage you experienced is the same regardless of why they did what they did. Keep focusing on you and healing the consequences that came from what they did instead of trying to figure out why ❤

Indeed … and its called toxic hope 😩

It is a drug in and of itself!

Part of the reason there’s no point in reenactment is that I pick a covert narcissist who’s similar to my mother. Like my mother, there’s no good relationship with a covert narcissist

I agree! Once we can see the cycle we are in, we can seek the support needed to truly exit it. It takes tremendous support and dedicated healing work to really heal the root of why we find ourselves there in the first place. But it IS possible!

I'm not sure that repetition compulsion is used for what you're referring to, rather it's typical for people like borderlines who fail to learn from their mistakes. Also I think that trauma bonding also refers to us wanting to heal our parents. I know my parents loved me, but they were scarred and had CPTSD and I am trying to heal my partner who is very much like my father was

I'm so sorry you had that experience when you were trying to help someone you cared about.

@lucidlivingwithbre Thank you! I loved this video!

Having the willingness to heal is often the hardest first step. Keep going!

Same here ! Unconditional love throughout my childhood and still got tangled in the narcissist web. I’d say I have some abandonment issues from my twenties when I fell in love with a guy who didn’t love me back and it took me 5 years to grief that love. In another video, it says that hyperactive people or ADHD take longer to detach from a relationship as they can’t control their emotions and nervous system to move on faster from toxic relationships.

This is a very good point, it would be helpful for a bigger conversation, to include all experiences, some of us do still need to be aware of how our childhood trauma has effected these toxic relationship dynamics, but yes, there is room for all experience❤

It's similar to the idea that if you get addicted to cocaine - it's because you were exposed to it in your family as a child or because your childhood environment was encouraging or inducing you to try drugs. There are strong links, of course, but you could just as much get addicted with the same severity to cocaine in cases where your childhood was never around drugs! So, the main point here is: what's addictive is equally addictive to all: the ones who were exposed to the substances early in life AND the ones who have grown up without any drugs. Period. And a trauma bond is a mental drug, which (just like a chemical substance) will hook and hijack your brain regardless of how good or how bad your childhood experience had been.

I hear you and thank you for this response. It is important to include a broad scope of more experiences! I do want to note that a trauma bond is a severe experience that some people have with narcissists, but not all. The trauma bond is a specific reliving of past experience where one learned that love = pain. However, not all relationships with narcissists or narcissistic people have this component!

@@lucidlivingwithbre Thanks. Your podcasts are exceptional and helpful. In my experience 8 years with my narc (living 2 blocks from each other) and me having no childhood wounds, unconditional love 24/7 til 21 years old, still trauma bonds developed by the intermittent episodes of being treated with affectionate and him being present followed by a raging, abrupt discard that lasted hours, days or weeks. I never knew. Horrible. I never chased, never texted … just waited . That pattern of course kept me from ever feeling there was a secure attachment. As of 7/15/2024 I refuse to respond to his Hoovers. When you finally get this is abuse, and particularly when it’s escalating, all hope dies and you must go no contact.

Research what and who a narcissist is because the majority of the time, a narcissist will never ask the question, am I a narcissist. They usually blame everyone else for the problems and never look within. They also usually would never go to get help and therapy because they think they don't need it. It's the other person who needs therapy because they are perfect. So that's a very brief summary of who a narcissist is. In light of what u said, even though I'm no professional but I have spent a lot of time researching different mental health topics to learn and help myself. So I'd say no, you are probably not a narcissist. Research it, and u will quickly get your answer. Also, keep in mind that every person has some narcissistic qualities in them. So, in order to be a narcissist, you need to have many narcissistic qualities to fit the criteria. I hope this helps you.

Usually they reject your diagnosis and they become more angry at you. But you could try.

The fact that you are self-aware enough to even ask yourself that question points to you not being the narcissist. ❤

@@alice-hp7dh Thanks, after careful consideration, I decided not to. I am giving up the relationship.

@@deeamor1818 if It brings you more pain than love, yes, Is better to give up. In my case I still face the push/pull dynamic and I'm tired of all this nonsense but I deeply care about this crazy and dismissive human being...so...

I can imagine the pain that you are feeling! That is so much to navigate and move through. I'm so glad this video could help you feel more positive and less alone in your struggle ❤

I'm so happy it landed for you! Thank you for sharing how it has impacted you, I so appreciate the feedback 🙏🏻

I so appreciate you sharing that, thank you 🙏🏻

I'm so happy it was helpful for you! Thank you for sharing 🙏🏻

Thank you for your feedback around the episode and your kind words, I appreciate them. I was thrilled he leaned into the card pull too! Yes, cheers to this information reaching more people in need ☺

You are so so welcome lovely! I am happy this resonated for you ❤

Hi lovely, thank you so much for your kind words. It means so much to me to hear that this video spoke to you. I am so so sorry that you are dealing with the aftermath and pain. I know that feeling of dismantling, and finding our way back to ourselves (and the trust in ourselves and Spirit) is a tough journey. I want you to know that the rage is a perfectly acceptable feeling to have after experiencing narcissistic abuse, and it doesn't mean you've become a rageful person. You are just in a season of feeling deep, intense feels right now and rage is just one of them. Compassion, compassion, compassion for the parts of you who are so incredibly wounded by him and need to discharge the emotion that is surrounding it all. ❤

How sweet was this to read this morning?! Thank you for sharing the impact these videos have on you. I'm so happy you've found this space ❤

That means so much, thank you 🙏🏻

Thank you so much, we appreciate knowing that our work impacts others so deeply ❤

Thank you for voicing your opinion

I love that you do! The information can apply to any gender, absolutely.

You are exactly right. Regardless of the 'why' you're left with the wounding and crazy-making! I'm so sorry you've had this experience, and I'm happy to hear that you are out of the hurtful situation.

No way! That is awesome :)

It can be an enlightening and painful moment. I had several of these in my healing journey, too. It is definitely not too late for you to shift the way you approach relationships. It is SO doable if you are willing to put in the effort. ❤️

You are most welcome! I am glad the video was impactful for you ❤️

I'm so sorry to hear you've had this experience with your dad. It can absolutely come from family, friends, or romantic partners.

You are so welcome. I'm happy that you went through it and it was helpful to you!

Thank you for your comment and sharing your experience. I agree, that loss of light is especially painful and hard to reclaim. It's like who you thought you were somehow had been erased. The beauty is that you CAN reclaim that light, that you. If you would like some resources to guide you, please let me know and I would be happy to send them.

You are so welcome!

I'm so happy to hear that! Thank you for sharing

Thank you! I'm SO glad it resonated for you.

I'm so happy they have! Can I ask...what's been the most helpful for you?

You are so very welcome!

Thank you for sharing, and I'm so sorry you are in that situation. Smear campaigns are no joke, and I know that takes a toll psychologically, emotionally, and physically. I hope the professionals can see through him as well! You don't deserve that treatment. And while you are still fighting, I am glad you are out of the relationship and able to fight for your kids too. Sending you so much love!

And you wont until they are looking for something

It's so hard to not get the apology! I totally get that. Coming to closure on your own takes time and consistently meeting your emotions with compassion. But it IS possible!

I got an apology lol when they were stalking me with a friend bc he wanted to come inside and have a drink and bring his 21yr old friend and he is 51yrs old. Their Not Normal. The fake apology failed to enter. Phew. No they do not genuinely apologize its a sad story.

So happy it is helpful!

You are most welcome! I would love to hear if/how this was impactful for you if you're open to it?

I appreciate the reflection, thank you for your message!